第6章
Itmaybethattheytoohadtheir"apprehension，"butitsolittleranwithoursthat，wherewealreadyperceivedthe"phrasing，"theystillsawonlythefeeling——ourironywasforthemtruth，andsoon。AtthattimeIhadnotyetlearnttounderstandthattheywereinnowaytoblameforthis，andthatabsenceofsuchapprehensioninnowaypreventedthemfrombeinggoodandclevergirls。AccordinglyIlookeddownuponthem。
Moreover，havingoncelituponmypreciousideaof"frankness，"
andbeingbentuponapplyingittothefullinmyself，Ithoughtthequiet，confidingnatureofLubotshkaguiltyofsecretivenessanddissimulationsimplybecauseshesawnonecessityfordiggingupandexaminingallherthoughtsandinstincts。Forinstance，thefactthatshealwayssignedthesignofthecrossoverPapabeforegoingtobed，thatsheandKatenkainvariablyweptinchurchwhenattendingrequiemmassesforMamma，andthatKatenkasighedandrolledhereyesaboutwhenplayingthepiano——allthesethingsseemedtomesheermake-believe，andIaskedmyself：
"Atwhatperioddidtheylearntopretendlikegrown-uppeople，andhowcantheybringthemselvestodoit？"
XXX
HOWIEMPLOYEDMYTIME
Nevertheless，thefactthatthatsummerIdevelopedapassionformusiccausedmetobecomebetterfriendswiththeladiesofourhouseholdthanIhadbeenforyears。Inthespring，ayoungfellowcametoseeus，armedwithaletterofintroduction，who，assoonaseverheenteredthedrawing-room，fixedhiseyesuponthepiano，andkeptgraduallyedginghischairclosertoitashetalkedtoMimiandKatenka。Afterdiscoursingawhileoftheweatherandtheamenitiesofcountrylife，heskilfullydirectedtheconversationtopiano-tuners，music，andpianosgenerally，andendedbysayingthathehimselfplayed——andintruthhedidsitdownandperformthreewaltzes，withMimi，Lubotshka，andKatenkagroupedabouttheinstrument，andwatchinghimashedidso。Henevercametoseeusagain，buthisplaying，andhisattitudewhenatthepiano，andthewayinwhichhekeptshakinghislonghair，and，mostofall，themannerinwhichhewasabletoexecuteoctaveswithhislefthandashefirstofallplayedthemrapidlywithhisthumbandlittlefinger，andthenslowlyclosedthosemembers，andthenplayedtheoctavesafresh，madeagreatimpressionuponme。Thisgracefulgestureofhis，togetherwithhiseasyposeandhisshakingofhairandsuccessfulwinningoftheladies’applausebyhistalent，endedbyfiringmetotakeupthepiano。ConvincedthatIpossessedbothtalentandapassionformusic，Isetmyselftolearn，and，indoingso，actedjustasmillionsofthemale——stillmore，ofthefemale——sexhavedonewhotrytoteachthemselveswithoutaskilledinstructor，withoutanyrealturnfortheart，orwithoutthesmallestunderstandingeitherofwhattheartcangiveorofwhatoughttobedonetoobtainthatgift。Formemusic（orrather，piano-
playing）wassimplyameansofwinningtheladies’goodgracesthroughtheirsensibility。WiththehelpofKatenkaIfirstlearntthenotes（incidentallybreakingseveralofthemwithmyclumsyfingers），andthen——thatistosay，aftertwomonthsofhardwork，supplementedbyceaselesstwiddlingofmyrebelliousfingersonmykneesafterluncheon，andonthepillowwheninbed——wentonto"pieces，"whichIplayed（soKatenkaassuredme）
with"soul"（"avecame"），butaltogetherregardlessoftime。
Myrangeofpieceswastheusualone——waltzes，galops，"romances，""arrangements，"etcetera；allofthemoftheclassofdelightfulcompositionsofwhichanyonewithalittlehealthytastecouldpointoutaselectionamongthebetterclassworkscontainedinanyvolumeofmusicandsay，"ThesearewhatyououghtNOTtoplay，seeingthatanythingworse，lesstasteful，andmoresillyhasneveryetbeenincludedinanycollectionofmusic，"——butwhich（probablyforthatveryreason）aretobefoundonthepianoofeveryRussianlady。True，wealsopossessedanunfortunatevolumewhichcontainedBeethoven’s"SonatePathetique"andtheCminorSonata（avolumelamedforlifebytheladies——moreespeciallybyLubotshka，whousedtodiscoursemusicfromitinmemoryofMamma），aswellascertainothergoodpieceswhichherteacherinMoscowhadgivenher；butamongthatcollectiontherewerelikewisecompositionsoftheteacher’sown，intheshapeofclumsymarchesandgalops——andthesetooLubotshkausedtoplay！KatenkaandIcarednothingforseriousworks，butpreferred，aboveallthings，"LeFou"and"TheNightingale"——thelatterofwhichKatenkawouldplayuntilherfingersalmostbecameinvisible，andwhichItoowasbeginningtoexecutewithmuchvigourandsomecontinuity。IhadadoptedthegesturesoftheyoungmanofwhomIhavespoken，andfrequentlyregrettedthattherewerenostrangerspresenttoseemeplay。
Soon，however，IbegantorealisethatLisztandKalkbrennerwerebeyondme，andthatIshouldneverovertakeKatenka。
Accordingly，imaginingthatclassicalmusicwaseasier（aswellas，partly，forthesakeoforiginality），IsuddenlycametotheconclusionthatIlovedabstruseGermanmusic。IbegantogointoraptureswheneverLubotshkaplayedthe"SonatePathetique，"andalthough（ifthetruthbetold）thatworkhadforyearsdrivenmetothevergeofdistraction，IsetmyselftoplayBeethoven，andtotalkofhimas"Beethoven。"Yetthroughallthischoppingandchangingandpretence（asInowconceive）theremayhaveruninmeacertainveinoftalent，sincemusicsometimesaffectedmeeventotears，andthingswhichparticularlypleasedmeIcouldstrumonthepianoafterwards（inacertainfashion）withoutthescore；sothat，hadanyonetaughtmeatthatperiodtolookuponmusicasanend，agrace，initself，andnotmerelyasameansforpleasingwomenfolkwiththevelocityandpseudo-sentimentofone’splaying，Imightpossiblyhavebecomeapassablemusician。
ThereadingofFrenchnovels（ofwhichWolodahadbroughtalargestorewithhimfromMoscow）wasanotherofmyamusementsthatsummer。AtthatperiodMonteCristoandTaine’sworkshadjustappeared，whileIalsorevelledinstoriesbySue，Dumas，andPauldeKock。Eventheirmostunnaturalpersonagesandeventswereformeasrealasactuality，andnotonlywasIincapableofsuspectinganauthoroflying，but，inmyeyes，thereexistednoauthoratall。Thatistosay，thevariouspersonagesandeventsofabookparadedthemselvesbeforemeontheprintedpageaspersonagesandeventsthatwerealiveandreal；andalthoughI
hadneverinmylifemetsuchcharactersasItherereadabout，I
neverforaseconddoubtedthatIshouldonedaydoso。I
discoveredinmyselfallthepassionsdescribedineverynovel，aswellasalikenesstoallthecharacters——heroesandvillainsimpartially——whofiguredtherein，justasasuspiciousmanfindsinhimselfthesignsofeverypossiblediseasewhenreadingabookonmedicine。Itookpleasurebothinthecunningdesigns，theglowingsentiments，thetumultuousevents，andthecharacter-
drawingoftheseworks。Agoodmanwasofthegoodness，abadmanofthebadness，possibleonlytotheimaginationofearlyyouth。
LikewiseIfoundgreatpleasureinthefactthatitwasallwritteninFrench，andthatIcouldlaytoheartthefinewordswhichthefineheroesspoke，andrecallthemforusesomedaywhenengagedinsomenobledeed。WhatquantitiesofFrenchphrasesIculledfromthosebooksforKolpikoff’sbenefitifI
shouldevermeethimagain，aswellasforHERS，whenatlengthI
shouldfindherandrevealtohermylove！ForthembothI
preparedspeecheswhichshouldovercomethemassoonasspoken！
Uponnovels，too，IfoundednewidealsofthemoralqualitieswhichIwishedtoattain。Firstofall，IwishedtobeNOBLEinallmydeedsandconduct（IusetheFrenchwordnobleinsteadoftheRussianwordblagorodniforthereasonthattheformerhasadifferentmeaningtothelatter——astheGermanswellunderstoodwhentheyadoptednobleasnobelanddifferentiateditfromehrlich）；next，tobestrenuous；andlastly，tobewhatIwasalreadyinclinedtobe，namely，commeilfaut。Ieventriedtoapproximatemyappearanceandbearingtothatoftheheroeswhopossessedthesequalities。InparticularIrememberhowinoneofthehundredorsonovelswhichIreadthatsummertherewasaverystrenuousherowithheavyeyebrows，andthatIsogreatlywishedtoresemblehim（IfeltthatIdidsoalreadyfromamoralpointofview）thatoneday，whenlookingatmyeyebrowsintheglass，Iconceivedtheideaofclippingthem，inordertomakethemgrowbushier。Unfortunately，afterIhadstartedtodoso，I
happenedtocliponespotrathershorterthantherest，andsohadtoleveldowntheresttoit-withtheresultthat，tomyhorror，Ibeheldmyselfeyebrow-less，andanythingbutpresentable。However，Icomfortedmyselfwiththereflectionthatmyeyebrowswouldsoonsproutagainasbushyasmyhero’s，andwasonlyperplexedtothinkhowIcouldexplainthecircumstancetothehouseholdwhentheynextperceivedmyeyebrow-lesscondition。AccordinglyIborrowedsomegunpowderfromWoloda，rubbeditonmytemples，andsetitalight。Thepowderdidnotfireproperly，butIsucceededinsingeingmyselfsufficientlytoavertallsuspicionofmypranks。And，indeed，afterwards，whenI
hadforgottenallaboutmyhero，myeyebrowsgrewagain，andmuchthickerthantheyhadbeenbefore。
XXXI
"COMMEILFAUT"
SEVERALtimesinthecourseofthisnarrativeIhavehintedatanideacorrespondingtotheaboveFrenchheading，andnowfeelitincumbentuponmetodevoteawholechaptertothatidea，whichwasoneofthemostruinous，lyingnotionswhicheverbecameengrafteduponmylifebymyupbringingandsocialmilieu。
Thehumanracemaybedividedintoseveralcategories——richandpoor，goodandbad，militaryandcivilian，cleverandstupid，andsoforth，andsoforth。Yeteachmanhashisownfavourite，fundamentalsystemofdivisionwhichheunconsciouslyusestoclasseachnewpersonwithwhomhemeets。AtthetimeofwhichI
amspeaking，myownfavourite，fundamentalsystemofdivisioninthisrespectwasintopeople"commeilfaut"andpeople"commeilnefautpas"——thelattersubdivided，again，intopeoplemerelynot"commeilfaut"andthelowerorders。People"commeilfaut"I
respected，andlookeduponasworthytoconsortwithmeasmyequals；thesecondoftheabovecategoriesIpretendedmerelytodespise，butinrealityhated，andnourishedtowardsthemakindoffeelingofoffendedpersonality；whilethethirdcategoryhadnoexistenceatall，sofarasIwasconcerned，sincemycontemptforthemwastoocomplete。This"commeilfaut"-nessofminelay，firstandforemost，inproficiencyinFrench，especiallyconversationalFrench。Apersonwhospokethatlanguagebadlyatoncearousedinmeafeelingofdislike。"Whydoyoutrytotalkaswedowhenyouhaven’tanotionhowtodoit？"Iwouldseemtoaskhimwithmymostvenomousandquizzingsmile。Thesecondconditionof"commeilfaut"-nesswaslongnailsthatwerewellkeptandclean；thethird，abilitytobow，dance，andconverse；
thefourth——andaveryimportantone——indifferencetoeverything，andaconstantairofrefined，superciliousennui。Moreover，therewerecertaingeneralsignswhich，Iconsidered，enabledmetotell，withoutactuallyspeakingtoaman，theclasstowhichhebelonged。Chiefamongthesesigns（theothersbeingthefittingsofhisrooms，hisgloves，hishandwriting，histurn-out，andsoforth）werehisfeet。Therelationofbootstotrouserswassufficienttodetermine，inmyeyes，thesocialstatusofaman。Heellessbootswithangulartoes，weddedtonarrow，unstrappedtrouser-ends——thesedenotedthevulgarian。Bootswithnarrow，roundtoesandheels，accompaniedeitherbytighttrousersstrappedundertheinstepandfittingclosetothelegorbywidetrouserssimilarlystrapped，butprojectinginapeakoverthetoe——thesemeantthemanofmauvaisgenre；andsoon，andsoon。
ItwasacuriousthingthatIwholackedallabilitytobecome"commeilfaut，"shouldhaveassimilatedtheideasocompletelyasIdid。Possiblyitwasthefactthatithadcostmesuchenormouslabourtoacquirethatbroughtaboutitsstrenuousdevelopmentinmymind。IhardlyliketothinkhowmuchofthebestandmostvaluabletimeofmyfirstsixteenyearsofexistenceIwasteduponitsacquisition。YeteveryonewhomI
imitated——Woloda，Dubkoff，andthemajorityofmyacquaintances——
seemedtoacquireiteasily。Iwatchedthemwithenvy，andsilentlytoiledtobecomeproficientinFrench，tobowgracefullyandwithoutlookingatthepersonwhomIwassaluting，togaindexterityinsmall-talkanddancing，tocultivateindifferenceandennui，andtokeepmyfingernailswelltrimmed（thoughI
frequentlycutmyfinger-endswiththescissorsinsodoing）。AndallthetimeIfeltthatsomuchremainedtobedoneifIwasevertoattainmyend！Aroom，awriting-table，anequipageI
stillfounditimpossibletoarrange"commeilfaut，"howevermuchIfoughtdownmyaversiontopracticalmattersinmydesiretobecomeproficient。Yeteverythingseemedtoarrangeitselfproperlywithotherpeople，justasthoughthingscouldneverhavebeenotherwise！OnceIrememberaskingDubkoff，aftermuchzealousandcarefullabouringatmyfinger-nails（hisownwereextraordinarilygood），whetherhisnailshadalwaysbeenasnow，orwhetherhehaddoneanythingtomakethemso：towhichherepliedthatneverwithinhisrecollectionhadhedoneanythingtothem，andthathecouldnotimagineagentleman’snailspossiblybeingdifferent。Thisanswerincensedmegreatly，forI
hadnotyetlearntthatoneofthechiefconditionsof"commeilfaut"-nesswastoholdone’stongueaboutthelabourbywhichithadbeenacquired。"Commeilfaut"-nessIlookeduponasnotonlyagreatmerit，asplendidaccomplishment，anembodimentofalltheperfectionwhichmuststrivetoattain，butastheoneindispensableconditionwithoutwhichtherecouldneverbehappiness，norglory，noranygoodwhatsoeverinthisworld。Eventhegreatestartistorsavantorbenefactorofthehumanracewouldatthattimehavewonfrommenorespectifhehadnotalsobeen"commeilfaut。"Amanpossessedof"commeilfaut"-nessstoodhigherthan，andbeyondallpossibleequalitywith，suchpeople，andmightwellleaveittothemtopaintpictures，tocomposemusic，towritebooks，ortodogood。Possiblyhemightcommendthemforsodoing（sincewhyshouldnotmeritbecommendedwhere-everitbefound？），buthecouldneverstandONA
LEVELwiththem，seeingthathewas"commeilfaut"andtheywerenot——aquitefinalandsufficientreason。Infact，Iactuallybelievethat，hadwepossessedabrotherorafatheroramotherwhohadnotbeen"commeilfaut，"Ishouldhavedeclaredittobeagreatmisfortuneforus，andannouncedthatbetweenmyselfandthemtherecouldneverbeanythingincommon。YetneitherwasteofthegoldenhourswhichIconsumedinconstantlyendeavouringtoobservethemanyarduous，unattainableconditionsof"commeilfaut"-ness（totheexclusionofanymoreseriouspursuit），nordislikeofandcontemptfornine-tenthsofthehumanrace，nordisregardofallthebeautythatlayoutsidethenarrowcircleof"commeilfaut"-nesscomprisedthewholeoftheevilwhichtheideawroughtinme。Thechiefevilofalllayinthenotionacquiredthatamanneednotstrivetobecomeatchinovnik，[Official。]acoachbuilder，asoldier，asavant，oranythinguseful，solongonlyashewas"commeilfaut"——thatbyattainingthelatterqualityhehaddoneallthatwasdemandedofhim，andwasevensuperiortomostpeople。
Usually，atagivenperiodinyouth，andaftermanyerrorsandexcesses，everymanrecognisesthenecessityofhistakinganactivepartinsociallife，andchoosessomebranchoflabourtowhichtodevotehimself。Onlywiththe"commeilfaut"mandoesthisrarelyhappen。Ihaveknown，andknow，very，verymanypeople——old，proud，self-satisfied，andopinionated——whotothequestion（ifitshouldeverpresentitselftothemintheirworld）"Whohaveyoubeen，andwhathaveyoueverdone？"wouldbeunabletoreplyotherwisethanbysaying，"Jefusunhommetrescommeilfaut，"
Suchafatewasawaitingmyself。
XXXII
YOUTH
Despitetheconfusionofideasraginginmyhead，Iwasatleastyoung，innocent，andfreethatsummer——consequentlyalmosthappy。
SometimesIwouldrisequiteearlyinthemorning，forIsleptontheopenverandah，andthebright，horizontalbeamsofthemorningsunwouldwakemeup。Dressingmyselfquickly，IwouldtuckatowelandaFrenchnovelundermyarm，andgoofftobatheintheriverintheshadeofabirchtreewhichstoodhalfaverstfromthehouse。Next，Iwouldstretchmyselfonthegrassandread——raisingmyeyesfromtimetotimetolookatthesurfaceoftheriverwhereitshowedblueintheshadeofthetrees，attheripplescausedbythefirstmorningbreeze，attheyellowingfieldofryeonthefurtherbank，andatthebright-redsheenofthesunlightasitstrucklowerandlowerdownthewhitetrunksofthebirch-treeswhich，rangedinranksonebehindtheother，graduallyrecededintotheremotedistanceofthehomepark。AtsuchmomentsIwouldfeeljoyouslyconsciousofhavingwithinmethesameyoung，freshforceoflifeasnaturewaseverywhereexudingaroundme。When，however，theskywasovercastwithgreycloudsofmorningandIfeltchillyafterbathing，Iwouldoftenstarttowalkatrandomthroughthefieldsandwoods，andjoyouslytrailmywetbootsinthefreshdew。Allthewhilemyheadwouldbefilledwithvividdreamsconcerningtheheroesofmylast-readnovel，andIwouldkeeppicturingtomyselfsomeleaderofanarmyorsomestatesmanormarvellouslystrongmanordevotedloveroranother，andlookingroundmein，anervousexpectationthatIshouldsuddenlydescryHERsomewherenearme，inameadoworbehindatree。Yet，whenevertheseramblesledmenearpeasantsengagedattheirwork，allmyignoringoftheexistenceofthe"commonpeople"didnotpreventmefromexperiencinganinvoluntary，overpoweringsensationofawkwardness；sothatIalwaystriedtoavoidtheirseeingme。
Whentheheatofthedayhadincreased，itwasnotinfrequentlymyhabit——iftheladiesdidnotcomeoutofdoorsfortheirmorningtea——togoramblingthroughtheorchardandkitchen-garden，andtopluckripefruitthere。Indeed，thiswasanoccupationwhichfurnishedmewithoneofmygreatestpleasures。Letanyonegointoanorchard，anddiveintothemidstofatall，thick，sproutingraspberry-bed。Abovewillbeseentheclear，glowingsky，and，allaround，thepale-green，pricklystemsofraspberry-
treeswheretheygrowmingledtogetherinatangleofprofusion。
Atone’sfeetspringsthedark-greennettle，withitsslendercrownofflowers，whilethebroad-leavedburdock，withitsbright-pink，pricklyblossoms，overtopstheraspberries（andevenone’shead）withitsluxuriantmasses，until，withthenettle，italmostmeetsthependent，pale-greenbranchesoftheoldapple-
treeswhereapples，roundandlustrousasbone，butasyetunripe，aremellowingintheheatofthesun。Below，again，areseenyoungraspberry-shoots，twiningthemselvesaroundthepartiallywithered，leaflessparentplant，andstretchingtheirtendrilstowardsthesunlight，withgreen，needle-shapedbladesofgrassandyoung，dew-coatedpodspeeringthroughlastyear’sleaves，andgrowingjuicilygreenintheperennialshade，asthoughtheycarenothingforthebrightsunshinewhichisplayingontheleavesoftheapple-treesabovethem。Inthisdensitythereisalwaysmoisture——alwaysasmellofconfined，perpetualshade，ofcobwebs，fallenapples（turningblackwheretheyrollonthemouldysod），raspberries，andearwigsofthekindwhichimpelonetoreachhastilyformorefruitwhenonehasinadvertentlyswallowedamemberofthatinsecttribewiththelastberry。Ateverystepone’smovementskeepflushingthesparrowswhichalwaysmaketheirhomeinthesedepths，andonehearstheirfussychirpingandthebeatingoftheirtiny，flutteringwingsagainstthestalks，andcatchesthelowbuzzingofabumblebeesomewhere，andthesoundofthegardener’sfootsteps（itishalf-daftAkim）onthepathashehumshiseternalsing-songtohimself。Thenonemuttersunderone’sbreath，"No！Neitherhenoranyoneelseshallfindmehere！"yetstillonegoesonstrippingjuicyberriesfromtheirconicalwhitepilasters，andcrammingthemintoone’smouth。Atlength，one’slegssoakedtothekneesasonerepeats，overandoveragain，somerubbishwhichkeepsrunninginone’shead，andone’shandsandnetherlimbs（despitetheprotectionofone’swettrousers）thoroughlystungwiththenettles，onecomestotheconclusionthatthesun’sraysarebeatingtoostraightuponone’sheadforeatingtobeanylongerdesirable，and，sinkingdownintothetangleofgreenery，oneremainsthere——lookingandlistening，andcontinuinginmechanicalfashiontostripoffoneortwoofthefinerberriesandswallowthem。
Ateleveno’clock——thatistosay，whentheladieshadtakentheirmorningteaandsettleddowntotheiroccupations——Iwouldrepairtothedrawing-room。Nearthefirstwindow，withitsunbleachedlinenblindloweredtoexcludethesunshine，butthroughthechinkofwhichthesunkeptthrowingbrilliantcirclesoflightwhichhurttheeyetolookatthem，therewouldbestandingascreen，withfliesquietlyparadingthewhitenessofitscovering。BehinditwouldbeseatedMimi，shakingherheadinanirritablemanner，andconstantlyshiftingfromspottospottoavoidthesunshineasatintervalsitdartedherfromsomewhereandlaidastreakofflameuponherhandorface。
Throughtheotherthreewindowsthesunwouldbethrowingthreesquaresoflight，crossedwiththeshadowsofthewindow-frames，andwhereoneofthesepatchesmarkedtheunstainedflooroftheroomtherewouldbelying，inaccordancewithinvariablecustom，Milka，withherearsprickedasshewatchedthefliespromenadingthelightedspace。Seatedonasettee，Katenkawouldbeknittingorreadingaloudasfromtimetotimeshegaveherwhitesleeves（lookingalmosttransparentinthesunshine）animpatientshake，ortossedherheadwithafrowntodriveawaysomeflywhichhadsettleduponherthickauburnhairandwasnowbuzzinginitstangles。Lubotshkawouldeitherbewalkingupanddowntheroom（herhandsclaspedbehindher）untilthemomentshouldarrivewhenamovementwouldbemadetowardsthegarden，orplayingsomepieceofwhicheverynotehadlongbeenfamiliartome。Formyownpart，Iwouldsitdownsomewhere，andlistentothemusicorthereadinguntilsuchtimeasImyselfshouldhaveanopportunityofperformingonthepiano。AfterluncheonIwouldcondescendtotakethegirlsoutriding（sincetogoforamerewalkatthathourseemedtomeunsuitabletomyyearsandpositionintheworld），andtheseexcursionsofours——inwhichI
oftentookmycompanionsthroughunaccustomedspotsanddells——
wereverypleasant。Indeed，onsomeoftheseoccasionsIgrewquiteboyish，andthegirlswouldpraisemyridinganddaring，andpretendthatIwastheirprotector。Intheevening，ifwehadnoguestswithus，tea（servedinthedimverandah），wouldbefollowedbyawalkroundthehomesteadwithPapa，andthenI
wouldstretchmyselfonmyusualsettee，andreadandponderasofold，asIlistenedtoKatenkaorLubotshkaplaying。Atothertimes，ifIwasaloneinthedrawing-roomandLubotshkawasperformingsomeold-timeair，Iwouldfindmyselflayingmybookdown，andgazingthroughtheopendoorwayontothebalconyatthependent，sinuousbranchesofthetallbirch-treeswheretheystoodovershadowedbythecomingnight，andattheclearskywhere，ifonelookedatitintentlyenough，misty，yellowishspotswouldappearsuddenly，andthendisappearagain。Next，asI
listenedtothesoundsofthemusicwaftedfromthesalon，andtothecreakingofgatesandthevoicesofthepeasantwomenwhenthecattlereturnedtothevillage，IwouldsuddenlybethinkmeofNataliaSavishnaandofMammaandofKarlIvanitch，andbecomemomentarilysad。Butinthosedaysmyspiritwassofulloflifeandhopethatsuchreminiscencesonlytouchedmeinpassing，andsoonfledawayagain。
Aftersupperand（sometimes）anightstrollwithsomeoneinthegarden（forIwasafraidtowalkdownthedarkavenuesbymyself），Iwouldrepairtomysolitarysleeping-placeontheverandah——aproceedingwhich，despitethecountlessmosquitoswhichalwaysdevouredme，affordedmethegreatestpleasure。Ifthemoonwasfull，Ifrequentlyspentwholenightssittinguponmymattress，lookingatthelightandshade，listeningtothesoundsorstillness，dreamingofonematterandanother（butmoreparticularlyofthepoetic，voluptuoushappinesswhich，inthosedays，Ibelievedwastoprovetheacmeofmyfelicity）andlamentingthatuntilnowithadonlybeengiventometoIMAGINE
things。Nosoonerhadeveryonedispersed，andIhadseenlightspassfromthedrawing-roomtotheupperchambers（whencefemalevoiceswouldpresentlybeheard，andthenoiseofwindowsopeningandshutting），thanIwoulddeparttotheverandah，andwalkupanddownthereasIlistenedattentivelytothesoundsfromtheslumberingmansion。Tothisday，wheneverIfeelanyexpectation（nomatterhowsmallandbaseless）ofrealisingafractionofsomehappinessofwhichImaybedreaming，Isomehowinvariablyfailtopicturetomyselfwhattheimaginedhappinessisgoingtobelike。
Attheleastsoundofbarefootsteps，orofacough，orofasnore，oroftherattlingofawindow，oroftherustlingofadress，Iwouldleapfrommymattress，andstandfurtivelygazingandlistening，thrown，withoutanyvisiblecause，intoextremeagitation。Butthelightswoulddisappearfromtheupperrooms，thesoundsoffootstepsandtalkinggiveplacetosnores，thewatchmanbeginhisnightlytappingwithhisstick，thegardengrowbrighterandmoremysteriousasthestreaksoflightvanishedfromthewindows，thelastcandlepassfromthepantrytothehall（throwingaglimmerintothedewygardenasitdidso），andthestoopingfigureofFoka（deckedinanightcap，andcarryingthecandle）becomevisibletomyeyesashewenttohisbed。OftenIwouldfindagreatandfearfulpleasureinstealingoverthegrass，intheblackshadowofthehouse，untilIhadreachedthehallwindow，whereIwouldstandlisteningwithbatedbreathtothesnoringoftheboy，toFoka’sgruntings（inthebeliefthatnooneheardhim），andtothesoundofhissenilevoiceashedrawledouttheeveningprayers。Atlengthevenhiscandlewouldbeextinguished，andthewindowslammeddown，sothatIwouldfindmyselfutterlyalone；whereupon，glancingnervouslyfromsidetoside，lesthaplyIshouldseethewhitewomanstandingnearaflower-bedorbymycouch，Iwouldrunatfullspeedbacktotheverandah。Then，andonlythen，Iwouldliedownwithmyfacetothegarden，and，coveringmyselfover，sofaraspossible，fromthemosquitosandbats，falltogazinginfrontofmeasIlistenedtothesoundsofthenightanddreamedofloveandhappiness。
Atsuchtimeseverythingwouldtakeonformeadifferentmeaning。Thelookoftheoldbirchtrees，withtheonesideoftheircurlingbranchesshowingbrightagainstthemoonlitsky，andtheotherdarkeningthebushesandcarriage-drivewiththeirblackshadows；thecalm，richglitterofthepond，everswellinglikeasound；themoonlitsparkleofthedewdropsontheflowersinfrontoftheverandah；thegracefulshadowsofthoseflowerswheretheylaythrownuponthegreystonework；thecryofaquailonthefarsideofthepond；thevoiceofsomeonewalkingonthehighroad；thequiet，scarcelyaudiblescrunchingoftwooldbirchtreesagainstoneanother；thehummingofamosquitoatmycarunderthecoverlet；thefallofanappleasitcaughtagainstabranchandrustledamongthedryleaves；theleapingsoffrogsastheyapproachedalmosttotheverandah-stepsaridsatwiththemoonshiningmysteriouslyontheirgreenbacks——allthesethingstookonformeastrangesignificance——asignificanceofexceedingbeautyandofinfinitelove。BeforemewouldriseSHE，withlongblacktressesandahighbust，butalwaysmournfulinherfairness，withbarehandsandvoluptuousarms。Shelovedme，andforonemomentofherloveIwouldsacrificemywholelife！——
Butthemoonwouldgoonrisinghigherandhigher，andshiningbrighterandbrighter，intheheavens；therichsparkleofthepondwouldswelllikeasound，andbecomeevermoreandmorebrilliant，whiletheshadowswouldgrowblackerandblacker，andthesheenofthemoonmoreandmoretransparent：until，asI
lookedatandlistenedtoallthis，somethingwouldsaytomethatSHEwiththebarehandsandvoluptuousarmsdidnotrepresentALLhappiness，thatloveforherdidnotrepresentALL
good；sothat，themoreIgazedatthefull，high-ridingmoon，thehigherwouldtruebeautyandgoodnessappeartometolie，andthepurerandpurertheywouldseem——thenearerandnearertoHimwhoisthesourceofallbeautyandallgoodness。Andtearsofasortofunsatisfied，yettumultuous，joywouldfillmyeyes。
Always，too，Iwasalone；yetalways，too，itseemedtomethat，althoughgreat，mysteriousNaturecoulddrawtheshiningdiscofthemoontoherself，andsomehowholdinsomehigh，indefiniteplacethepale-bluesky，andbeeverywherearoundme，andfillofherselftheinfinityofspace，whileIwasbutalowlyworm，alreadydefiledwiththepoor，pettypassionsofhumanity——alwaysitseemedtomethat，nevertheless，bothNatureandthemoonandIwereone。
XXXIII
OURNEIGHBOURS
ONthefirstdayafterourarrival，IhadbeengreatlyastonishedthatPapashouldspeakofourneighbours，theEpifanovs，as"nicepeople，"andstillmoresothatheshouldgotocalluponthem。
Thefactwasthatwehadlongbeenatlawoversomelandwiththisfamily。Whenachild，IhadmorethanonceheardPaparagingoverthelitigation，abusingtheEpifanovs，andwarningpeople（soIunderstoodhim）againstthem。Likewise，IhadheardJakoffspeakofthemas"ourenemies"and"blackpeople"andcouldrememberMammarequestingthattheirnamesshouldneverbementionedinherpresence，nor，indeed，inthehouseatall。
FromthesedataI，asachild，hadarrivedattheclearandassuredconvictionthattheEpifanovswerefoemenofourswhowouldatanytimestaborstranglebothPapaandhissonsiftheyshouldevercomeacrossthem，aswellasthattheywere"blackpeople"，intheliteralsenseoftheterm。Consequently，when，intheyearthatMammadied，IchancedtocatchsightofAvdotia（"LaBelleFlamande"）ontheoccasionofavisitwhichshepaidtomymother，Ifoundithardtobelievethatshedidnotcomeofafamilyofnegroes。Allthesame，Ihadthelowestpossibleopinionofthefamily，and，forallthatwesawmuchofthemthatsummer，continuedtobestronglyprejudicedagainstthem。Asamatteroffact，theirhouseholdonlyconsistedofthemother（awidowoffifty，butaverywell-preserved，cheeryoldwoman），abeautifuldaughternamedAvdotia，andason，Peter，whowasastammerer，unmarried，andofveryseriousdisposition。
Forthelasttwentyyearsbeforeherhusband’sdeath，MadameEpifanovhadlivedapartfromhim——sometimesinSt。Petersburg，whereshehadrelatives，butmorefrequentlyathervillageofMitishtchi，whichstoodsomethreeverstsfromours。YettheneighbourhoodhadtakentocirculatingsuchhorribletalesconcerninghermodeoflifethatMessalinawas，bycomparison，ablamelesschild：whichwaswhymymotherhadrequestedhernamenevertobementioned。Asamatteroffact，notone-tenthpartofthemostcruelofallgossip——thegossipofcountry-houses——isworthyofcredence；andalthough，whenIfirstmadeMadame’sacquaintance，shehadlivingwithherinthehouseaclerknamedMitusha，whohadbeenpromotedfromaserf，andwho，curled，pomaded，anddressedinafrockcoatofCircassianpattern，alwaysstoodbehindhismistress’schairatluncheon，whilefromtimetotimesheinvitedhergueststoadmirehishandsomeeyesandmouth，therewasnothingforgossiptotakeholdof。Ibelieve，too，thatsincethetime——tenyearsearlier——whenshehadrecalledherdutifulsonPeterfromtheservice，shehadwhollychangedhermodeofliving。Itseemsherpropertyhadneverbeenalargeone——merelyahundredsoulsorso——[Thisrefers，ofcourse，tothedaysofserfdom。]andthatduringherpreviouslifeofgaietyshehadspentagreatdeal。Consequently，when，sometenyearsago，thoseportionsofthepropertywhichhadbeenmortgagedandre-
mortgagedhadbeenforecloseduponandcompulsorilysoldbyauction，shehadcometotheconclusionthatalltheseunpleasantdetailsofdistressuponandvaluationofherpropertyhadbeenduenotsomuchtofailuretopaytheinterestastothefactthatshewasawoman：whereforeshehadwrittentoherson（thenservingwithhisregiment）tocomeandsavehismotherfromherembarrassments，andhe，likeadutifulson——conceivingthathisfirstdutywastocomforthismotherinheroldage——hadstraightwayresignedhiscommission（forallthathehadbeendoingwellinhisprofession，andwashopingsoontobecomeindependent），andhadcometojoinherinthecountry。
Despitehisplainface，uncouthdemeanour，andfaultofstuttering，Peterwasamanofunswervingprinciplesandofthemostextraordinarygoodsense。Somehow——bysmallborrowings，sundrystrokesofbusiness，petitionsforgrace，andpromisestorepay——hecontrivedtocarryontheproperty，and，makinghimselfoverseer，donnedhisfather’sgreatcoat（stillpreservedinadrawer），dispensedwithhorsesandcarriages，discouragedguestsfromcallingatMitishtchi，fashionedhisownsleighs，increasedhisarablelandandcurtailedthatoftheserfs，felledhisowntimber，soldhisproduceinperson，andsawtomattersgenerally。
Indeed，heswore，andkepthisoath，that，untilalloutstandingdebtswerepaid，hewouldneverwearanyclothesthanhisfather’sgreatcoatandacorduroyjacketwhichhehadmadeforhimself，noryetrideinaughtbutacountrywaggon，drawnbypeasants’horses。Thisstoicalmodeoflifehesoughttoapplyalsotohisfamily，sofarasthesympatheticrespectwhichheconceivedtobehismother’sduewouldallowof；sothat，although，inthedrawing-room，hewouldshowheronlystutteringservility，andfulfilallherwishes，andblameanyonewhodidnotdopreciselyasshebidthem，inhisstudyorhisofficehewouldoverhaulthecookifshehadservedupsomuchasaduckwithouthisorders，oranyoneresponsibleforsendingaserf（eventhoughatMadame’sownbidding）toinquireafteraneighbour’shealthorfordespatchingthepeasantgirlsintothewoodtogatherwildraspberriesinsteadofsettingthemtoweedthekitchen-garden。
Withinfouryearseverydebthadbeenrepaid，andPeterhadgonetoMoscowandreturnedthenceinanewjacketandtarantass。[A
two-wheeledcarriage。]Yet，despitethisflourishingpositionofaffairs，hestillpreservedthestoicaltendenciesinwhich，totellthetruth，hetookacertainvaguepridebeforehisfamilyandstrangers，sincehewouldfrequentlysaywithastutter："AnyonewhoREALLYwishestoseemewillbegladtoseemeeveninmydressing-gown，andtoeatnothingbutshtchi[Cabbage-soup。]andkasha[Buckwheatgruel。]atmytable。""ThatiswhatIeatmyself，"hewouldadd。Inhiseverywordandmovementspokepridebaseduponaconsciousnessofhavingsacrificedhimselfforhismotherandredeemedtheproperty，aswellascontemptforanyonewhohadnotdonesomethingofthesamekind。
ThemotheranddaughterwerealtogetherdifferentcharactersfromPeter，aswellasaltogetherdifferentfromoneanother。Theformerwasoneofthemostagreeable，uniformlygood-tempered，andcheerfulwomenwhomonecouldpossiblymeet。Anythingattractiveandgenuinelyhappydelightedher。Eventhefacultyofbeingpleasedwiththesightofyoungpeopleenjoyingthemselves（itisonlyinthebest-naturedofelderlyfolkthatonemeetswiththatTRAIT）shepossessedtothefull。Ontheotherhand，herdaughterwasofagraveturnofmind。Rather，shewasofthatpeculiarlycareless，absent-minded，gratuitouslydistantbearingwhichcommonlydistinguishesunmarriedbeauties。Whenevershetriedtobegay，hergaietysomehowseemedtobeunnaturaltoher，sothatshealwaysappearedtobelaughingeitheratherselforatthepersonstowhomshewasspeakingorattheworldingeneral——athingwhich，possibly，shehadnorealintentionofdoing。OftenIaskedmyselfinastonishmentwhatshecouldmeanwhenshesaidsomethinglike，"Yes，Iknowhowterriblygood-
lookingIam，"or，"Ofcourseeveryoneisinlovewithme，"andsoforth。Hermotherwasapersonalwaysbusy，sinceshehadapassionforhousekeeping，gardening，flowers，canaries，andprettytrinkets。Herroomsandgarden，itistrue，weresmallandpoorlyfitted-up，yeteverythinginthemwassoneatandmethodical，andboresuchageneralairofthatgentlegaietywhichonehearsexpressedinawaltzorpolka，thattheword"toy"bywhichguestsoftenexpressedtheirpraiseofitallexactlysuitedhersurroundings。Sheherselfwasa"toy"——beingpetite，slender，fresh-coloured，small，andpretty-handed，andinvariablygayandwell-dressed。Theonlyfaultinherwasthataslightover-prominenceofthedark-blueveinsonherlittlehandsrathermarredthegeneraleffectofherappearance。Ontheotherhand，herdaughterscarcelyeverdidanythingatall。Notonlyhadshenolovefortriflingwithflowersandtrinkets，butsheneglectedherpersonalexterior，andonlytroubledtodressherselfwellwhenguestshappenedtocall。Yet，onreturningtotheroominsocietycostume，shealwayslookedextremelyhandsome——saveforthatcold，uniformexpressionofeyesandsmilewhichiscommontoallbeauties。Infact，herstrictlyregular，beautifulfaceandsymmetricalfigurealwaysseemedtobesayingtoyou，"Yes，youmaylookatme。"
Atthesametime，forallthemother’slivelinessofdispositionandthedaughter’sairofindifferenceandabstraction，somethingtoldonethattheformerwasincapableoffeelingaffectionforanythingthatwasnotprettyandgay，butthatAvdotia，onthecontrary，wasoneofthosenatureswhich，oncetheylove，arewillingtosacrificetheirwholelifeforthemantheyadore。
XXXIV
MYFATHER’SSECONDMARRIAGE
MYfatherwasforty-eightwhenhetookashissecondwifeAvdotiaVassilievnaEpifanov。
Isuspectthatwhen，thatspring，hehaddepartedforthecountrywiththegirls，hehadbeeninthatcommunicativelyhappy，sociablemoodinwhichgamblersusuallyfindthemselveswhohaveretiredfromplayafterwinninglargestakes。Hehadfeltthathestillhadafortunelefttohimwhich，solongashedidnotsquanderitongaming，mightbeusedforouradvancementinlife。
Moreover，itwasspringtime，hewasunexpectedlywellsuppliedwithreadymoney，hewasalone，andhehadnothingtodo。AsheconversedwithJakoffonvariousmatters，andrememberedboththeinterminablesuitwiththeEpifanovsandAvdotia’sbeauty（itwasalongwhilesincehehadseenher），Icanimaginehimsaying：
"Howdoyouthinkweoughttoactinthissuit，Jakoff？Myideaissimplytoletthecursedlandgo。Eh？Whatdoyouthinkaboutit？"Icanimagine，too，how，thusinterrogated，Jakofftwirledhisfingersbehindhisbackinadeprecatorysortofway，andproceededtoarguethatitallthesame，PeterAlexandritch，weareintheright。"Nevertheless，Ifurtherconjecture，Papaorderedthedogcarttobegotready，putonhisfashionableolive-coloureddriving-coat，brusheduptheremnantsofhishair，sprinkledhisclotheswithscent，and，greatlypleasedtothinkthathewasactingalaseignior（aswellas，evenmore，revellingintheprospectofsoonseeingaprettywoman），droveofftovisithisneighbours。
Icanimagine，too，thatwhentheflusteredhousemaidrantoinformPeterVassilievitchthatMonsieurIrtenieffhimselfhadcalled，Peteransweredangrily，"Well，whathashecomefor？"
and，steppingsoftlyaboutthehouse，firstwentintohisstudytoputonhisoldsoiledjacket，andthensentdownwordtothecookthatonnoaccountwhatever——no，notevenifshewereorderedtodosobythemistressherself——wasshetoaddanythingtoluncheon。
Since，later，IoftensawPapawithPeter，Icanformaverygoodideaofthisfirstinterviewbetweenthem。Icanimaginethat，despitePapa’sproposaltoendthesuitinapeacefulmanner，Peterwasmoroseandresentfulatthethoughtofhavingsacrificedhiscareertohismother，andatPapahavingdonenothingofthekind——abynomeanssurprisingcircumstance，Peterprobablysaidtohimself。Next，IcanseePapatakingnonoticeofthisill-humour，butcrackingquipsandjests，whilePetergraduallyfoundhimselfforcedtotreathimasahumoristwithwhomhefeltoffendedonemomentandinclinedtobereconciledthenext。Indeed，withhisinstinctformakingfunofeverything，PapaoftenusedtoaddressPeteras"Colonel；"andthoughIcanrememberPeteroncereplying，withanunusuallyviolentstutterandhisfacescarletwithindignation，thathehadneverbeenac-c-colonel，butonlyal-l-lieutenant，Papacalledhim"Colonel"
againbeforeanotherfiveminuteswereout。
Lubotshkatoldmethat，uptothetimeofWoloda’sandmyarrivalfromMoscow，therehadbeendailymeetingswiththeEpifanovs，andthatthingshadbeenverylively，sincePapa，whohadageniusforarranging，everythingwithatouchoforiginalityandwit，aswellasinasimpleandrefinedmanner，haddevisedshootingandfishingpartiesandfireworksfortheEpifanovs’
benefit。Allthesefestivities——sosaidLubotshka——wouldhavegoneoffsplendidlybutfortheintolerablePeter，whohadspoilteverythingbyhispuffingandstuttering。Afterourcoming，however，theEpifanovsonlyvisitedustwice，andwewentoncetotheirhouse，whileafterSt。Peter’sDay（onwhich，itbeingPapa’snameday，theEpifanovscalleduponusincommonwithacrowdofotherguests）ourrelationswiththatfamilycameentirelytoanend，and，infuture，onlyPapawenttoseethem。
DuringthebriefperiodwhenIhadopportunitiesofseeingPapaandDunetchka（ashermothercalledAvdotia）together，thisiswhatIremarkedaboutthem。Paparemainedunceasinglyinthesamebuoyantmoodashadsogreatlystruckmeonthedayafterourarrival。Sogayandyouthfulandfulloflifeandhappydidheseemthatthebeamsofhisfelicityextendedthemselvestoallaroundhim，andinvoluntarilycommunicatedtothemasimilarframeofmind。HeneverstirredfromAvdotia’ssidesolongasshewasintheroom，buteitherkeptonplyingherwithsugary-
sweetcomplimentswhichmademefeelashamedforhimor，withhisgazefixeduponherwithanairatoncepassionateandcomplacent，sathitchinghisshoulderandcoughingasfromtimetotimehesmiledandwhisperedsomethinginherear。Yetthroughoutheworethesameexpressionofrailleryaswaspeculiartohimeveninthemostseriousmatters。
Asarule，AvdotiaherselfseemedtocatchtheinfectionofthehappinesswhichsparkledatthisperiodinPapa’slargeblueeyes；yetthereweremomentsalsowhenshewouldbeseizedwithsuchafitofshynessthatI，whoknewthefeelingwell，wasfullofsympathyandcompassionasIregardedherembarrassment。Atmomentsofthiskindsheseemedtobeafraidofeveryglanceandeverymovement——tobesupposingthateveryonewaslookingather，everyonethinkingofnoonebuther，andthatunfavourably。Shewouldglancetimidlyfromonepersontoanother，thecolourcomingandgoinginhercheeks，andthenbegintotalkloudlyanddefiantly，but，forthemostpart，nonsense；untilpresently，realisingthis，andsupposingthatPapaandeveryoneelsehadheardher，shewouldblushmorepainfullythanever。YetPapanevernoticedhernonsense，forhewastoomuchtakenupwithcoughingandwithgazingatherwithhislookofhappy，triumphantdevotion。Inoticed，too，that，althoughthesefitsofshynessattackedAvdotia，withoutanyvisiblecause，theynotinfrequentlyensueduponPapa’smentionofoneoranotheryoungandbeautifulwoman。Frequenttransitionsfromdepressiontothatstrange，awkwardgaietyofherstowhichIhavereferredbefore。
therepetitionoffavouritewordsandturnsofspeechofPapa’s；
thecontinuationofdiscussionswithotherswhichPapahadalreadybegun——allthesethings，ifmyfatherhadnotbeentheprincipalactorinthematterandIhadbeenalittleolder，wouldhaveexplainedtometherelationssubsistingbetweenhimandAvdotia。Atthetime，however，Ineversurmisedthem——no，notevenwhenPapareceivedfromherbrotherPeteraletterwhichsoupsethimthatnotagainuntiltheendofAugustdidhegotocallupontheEpifanovs’。Then，however，hebeganhisvisitsoncemore，andendedbyinformingus，onthedaybeforeWolodaandI
weretoreturntoMoscow，thathewasabouttotakeAvdotiaVassilievnaEpifanovtobehiswife。
XXXV
HOWWERECEIVEDTHENEWS
Yet，evenontheeveoftheofficialannouncement，everyonehadlearntofthematter，andwasdiscussingit。Mimineverleftherroomthatday，andweptcopiously。Katenkakepthercompany，andonlycameoutforluncheon，withagrievedexpressiononherfacewhichwasmanifestlyborrowedfromhermother。Lubotshka，onthecontrary，wasverycheerful，andtoldusafterluncheonthatsheknewofasplendidsecretwhichshewasgoingtotellnoone。
"Thereisnothingsosplendidaboutyoursecret，"saidWoloda，whodidnotintheleastsharehersatisfaction。"Ifyouwerecapableofanyseriousthoughtatall，youwouldunderstandthatitisaverybadlookoutforus。"
Lubotshkastaredathiminamazement，andsaidnomore。Afterthemealwasover，Wolodamadeafeintoftakingmebythearm，andthen，fearingthatthiswouldseemtoomuchlike"affection，"
nudgedmegentlybytheelbow，andbeckonedmetowardsthesalon。
"Youknow，Isuppose，whatthesecretisofwhichLubotshkawasspeaking？"hesaidwhenhewassurethatwewerealone。ItwasseldomthatheandIspoketogetherinconfidence：withtheresultthat，wheneveritcameabout，wefeltakindofawkwardnessinoneanother’spresence，and"boysbegantojumpabout"inoureyes，asWolodaexpressedit。Onthepresentoccasion，however，heansweredtheexcitementinmyeyeswithagrave，fixedlookwhichsaid："Youneednotbesurprised，forwearebrothers，andwehavetoconsideranimportantfamilymatter。"Iunderstoodhim，andhewenton：
"Youknow，Isuppose，thatPapaisgoingtomarryAvdotiaEpifanov？"
Inodded，forIhadalreadyheardso。"Well，itisnotagoodthing，"continuedWoloda。
"Whyso？"
"Why？"herepeatedirritably。"Becauseitwillbesopleasant，won’tit，tohavethisstuttering’colonel’andallhisfamilyforrelations！Certainlysheseemsniceenough，asyet；butwhoknowswhatshewillturnouttobelater？Itwon’tmattermuchtoyouormyself，butLubotshkawillsoonbemakingherdebut，anditwillhardlybeniceforhertohavesucha’bellemere’asthis——awomanwhospeaksFrenchbadly，andhasnomannerstoteachher。"
AlthoughitseemedoddtohearWolodacriticisingPapa’schoicesocoolly，Ifeltthathewasright。
"Whyishemarryingher？"Iasked。
"Oh，itisahole-and-cornerbusiness，andGodonlyknowswhy，"
heanswered。"AllIknowisthatherbrother，Peter，triedtomakeconditionsaboutthemarriage，andthat，althoughatfirstPapawouldnothearofthem，heafterwardstooksomefancyorknight-errantryoranotherintohishead。But，asIsay，itisahole-and-cornerbusiness。Iamonlyjustbeginningtounderstandmyfather"——thefactthatWolodacalledPapa"myfather"insteadof"Papa"somehowhurtme——"andthoughIcanseethatheiskindandclever，heisirresponsibleandfrivoloustoadegreethat——
Well，thewholethingisastonishing。Hecannotsomuchaslookuponawomancalmly。Youyourselfknowhowhefallsinlovewitheveryonethathemeets。Youknowit，andsodoesMimi。"
"Whatdoyoumean？"Isaid。