第13章

Beforemyhusbanddiedhiselderbrotherwasmarried，and

we，beingthenremovedtoLondon，werewrittentobytheold

ladytocomeandbeatthewedding。

Myhusbandwent，butI

pretendedindisposition，andthatIcouldnotpossiblytravel，

soIstayedbehind；for，inshort，Icouldnotbearthesightof

hisbeinggiventoanotherwoman，thoughIknewIwasnever

tohavehimmyself。

Iwasnow，asabove，leftloosetotheworld，andbeingstill

youngandhandsome，aseverybodysaidofme，andIassure

youIthoughtmyselfso，andwithatolerablefortuneinmy

pocket，Iputnosmallvalueuponmyself。

Iwascourtedby

severalveryconsiderabletradesmen，andparticularlyvery

warmlybyone，alinen-draper，atwhosehouse，aftermy

husband’sdeath，Itookalodging，hissisterbeingmyacquaintance。

HereIhadallthelibertyandalltheopportunitytobegayand

appearincompanythatIcoulddesire，mylandlord’ssister

beingoneofthemaddest，gayestthingsalive，andnotsomuch

mistressofhervirtueasIthoughtasfirstshehadbeen。

She

broughtmeintoaworldof

wildcompany，andevenbrought

homeseveralpersons，suchasshelikedwellenoughtogratify，

toseeherprettywidow，soshewaspleasedtocallme，and

thatnameIgotinalittletimeinpublic。

Now，asfameand

foolsmakeanassembly，Iwasherewonderfullycaressed，had

abundanceofadmirers，andsuchascalledthemselveslovers；

butIfoundnotonefairproposalamongthemall。

Asfortheir

commondesign，thatIunderstoodtoowelltobedrawninto

anymoresnaresofthatkind。

Thecasewasalteredwithme:

Ihadmoneyinmypocket，andhadnothingtosaytothem。

I

hadbeentrickedoncebythatcheatcalledlove，butthegame

wasover；

Iwasresolvednowtobemarriedornothing，and

tobewellmarriedornotatall。

Ilovedthecompany，indeed，ofmenofmirthandwit，menof

gallantryandfigure，andwasoftenentertainedwithsuch，as

Iwasalsowithothers；butIfoundbyjustobservation，thatthe

brightestmencameuponthedullesterrand——thatistosay，the

dullestastowhatIaimedat。

Ontheotherhand，thosewho

camewiththebestproposalswerethedullestandmost

disagreeablepartoftheworld。

Iwasnotaversetoatradesman，

butthenIwouldhaveatradesman，forsooth，thatwas

somethingofagentlemantoo；thatwhenmyhusbandhada

mindtocarrymetothecourt，ortotheplay，hemightbecome

asword，andlookaslikeagentlemanasanotherman；andnot

beonethathadthemarkofhisapron-stringsuponhiscoat，

orthemarkofhishatuponhisperiwig；thatshouldlookasif

hewassetontohissword，whenhisswordwasputontohim，

andthatcarriedhistradeinhiscountenance。

Well，atlastIfoundthisamphibiouscreature，thisland-water

thingcalledagentleman-tradesman；andasajustplagueupon

myfolly，Iwascatchedintheverysnarewhich，asImightsay，

Ilaidformyself。

Isaidformyself，forIwasnottrepanned，

Iconfess，butIbetrayedmyself。

Thiswasadraper，too，forthoughmycomradewouldhave

broughtmetoabargainwithherbrother，yetwhenitcameto

thepoint，itwas，itseems，foramistress，notawife；andIkept

truetothisnotion，thatawomanshouldneverbekeptfora

mistressthathadmoneytokeepherself。

Thusmypride，notmyprinciple，mymoney，notmyvirtue，

keptmehonest；though，asitproved，IfoundIhadmuchbetter

havebeensoldbymyshe-comradetoherbrother，thanhave

soldmyselfasIdidtoatradesmanthatwasrake，gentleman，

shopkeeper，andbeggar，alltogether。

ButIwashurriedon(bymyfancytoagentleman)toruin

myselfinthegrossestmannerthateverywomandid；formy

newhusbandcomingtoalumpofmoneyatonce，fellinto

suchaprofusionofexpense，thatallIhad，andallhehad

before，ifhehadanythingworthmentioning，wouldnothave

helditoutaboveoneyear。

Hewasveryfondofmeforaboutaquarterofayear，and

what

Igotbythatwas，thatIhadthepleasureofseeingagreat

dealofmymoneyspentuponmyself，and，asImaysay，had

someofthespendingittoo。

’Come，mydear，’sayshetome

oneday，’shallwegoandtakeaturnintothecountryforabout

aweek？’’Ay，mydear，’saysI，’whitherwouldyougo？’

’I

carenotwhither，’sayshe，’butIhaveamindtolooklike

qualityforaweek。

We’llgotoOxford，’sayshe。

’How，’says

I，’shallwego？Iamnohorsewoman，and’tistoofarforacoach。’

’Toofar！’sayshe；’noplaceistoofarforacoach-and-six。

If

Icarryyouout，youshalltravellikeaduchess。’

’Hum，’says

I，’mydear，’tisafrolic；butifyouhaveamindtoit，Idon’t

care。’

Well，thetimewasappointed，wehadarichcoach，very

goodhorses，acoachman，postillion，andtwofootmeninvery

goodliveries；agentlemanonhorseback，andapagewitha

featherinhishatuponanotherhorse。

Theservantsallcalled

himmylord，andtheinn-keepers，youmaybesure，didthelike，

andIwasherhonourtheCountess，andthuswetraveledto

Oxford，andaverypleasantjourneywehad；for，givehimhis

due，notabeggaraliveknewbetterhowtobealordthanmy

husband。

WesawalltheraritiesatOxford，talkedwithtwoor

threeFellowsofcollegesaboutputtingoutayoungnephew，

thatwaslefttohislordship’scare，totheUniversity，andof

theirbeinghistutors。

Wedivertedourselveswithbantering

severalotherpoorscholars，withhopesofbeingatleasthis

lordship’schaplainsandputtingonascarf；andthushaving

livedlikequalityindeed，astoexpense，wewentawayfor

Northampton，and，inaword，inabouttwelvedays’ramble

camehomeagain，tothetuneofabout#93expense。

Vanityistheperfectionofafop。

Myhusbandhadthis

excellence，thathevaluednothingofexpense；andashis

history，youmaybesure，hasverylittleweightinit，’tis

enoughtotellyouthatinabouttwoyearsandaquarterhe

broke，andwasnotsohappytogetoverintotheMint，butgot

intoasponging-house，beingarrestedinanactiontooheavy

fromhimtogivebailto，sohesentformetocometohim。

Itwasnosurprisetome，forIhadforeseensometimethat

allwasgoingtowreck，andhadbeentakingcaretoreserve

somethingifIcould，thoughitwasnotmuch，formyself。

But

whenhesentforme，hebehavedmuchbetterthanIexpected，

andtoldmeplainlyhehadplayedthefool，andsuffered

himselftobesurprised，whichhemighthaveprevented；that

nowheforesawhecouldnotstandit，andthereforehewould

havemegohome，andinthenighttakeawayeverythingIhad

inthehouseofanyvalue，andsecureit；andafterthat，hetold

methatifIcouldgetawayonehundredortwohundredpounds

ingoodsoutoftheshop，Ishoulddoit；’only，’sayshe，’letme

knownothingofit，neitherwhatyoutakenorwhitheryou

carryit；forasforme，’sayshe，’Iamresolvedtogetoutof

thishouseandbegone；andifyouneverhearofmemore，my

dear，’sayshe，’Iwishyouwell；Iamonlysorryfortheinjury

Ihavedoneyou。’

Hesaidsomeveryhandsomethingstome

indeedatparting；forItoldyouhewasagentleman，andthat

wasallthebenefit

Ihadofhisbeingso；thatheusedmevery

handsomelyandwithgoodmannersuponalloccasions，even

tothelast，onlyspentallIhad，andleftmetorobthecreditors

forsomethingtosubsiston。

However，Ididashebademe，thatyoumaybesure；and

havingthustakenmyleaveofhim，Ineversawhimmore，for

hefoundmeanstobreakoutofthebailiff’shousethatnight

orthenext，andgooverintoFrance，andfortherestofthe

creditorsscrambledforitaswellastheycould。

How，Iknew

not，forIcouldcomeatnoknowledgeofanything，morethan

this，thathecamehomeaboutthreeo’clockinthemorning，

causedtherestofhisgoodstoberemovedintotheMint，and

theshoptobeshutup；andhavingraisedwhatmoneyhecould

gettogether，hegotover，asIsaid，toFrance，fromwhenceI

hadoneortwolettersfromhim，andnomore。

Ididnotseehim

whenhecamehome，forhehavinggivenmesuchinstructions

asabove，andIhavingmadethebestofmytime，Ihadnomore

businessbackagainatthehouse，notknowingbutImighthave

beenstoppedtherebythecreditors；foracommissionof

bankruptbeingsoonafterissued，theymighthavestoppedme

byordersfromthecommissioners。

Butmyhusband，having

sodexterouslygotoutofthebailiff’shousebylettinghimself

downinamostdesperatemannerfromalmostthetopofthe

housetothetopofanotherbuilding，andleapingfromthence，

whichwasalmosttwostoreys，andwhichwasenoughindeed

tohavebrokenhisneck，hecamehomeandgotawayhisgoods

beforethecreditorscouldcometoseize；thatistosay，before

theycouldgetoutthecommission，andbereadytosendtheir

officerstotakepossession。

Myhusbandwassociviltome，forstillIsayhewasmuch

ofagentleman，thatinthefirstletterhewrotemefromFrance，

heletmeknowwherehehadpawnedtwentypiecesoffine

hollandfor#30，whichwerereallyworth#90，andenclosed

methetokenandanorderforthetakingthemup，payingthe

money，whichIdid，andmadeintimeabove#100ofthem，

havingleisuretocutthemandsellthem，someandsome，to

privatefamilies，asopportunityoffered。