第7章

withdrewmoreandmoreintoitsshell，goingsofar，afterthefallofMacMahon，astochangeits"season"tothespring，sothattheballsandFETESitgaveshouldnotcoincidewiththe"official"

entertainmentsduringthewinter。

Thenextpeopletohavea"shy"atthe"OldFaubourg"s"GothicbattlementsweretheJews，whowerevictoriousinafewlightskirmishesandsucceededincapturingoneortwoillustrioushusbandsfortheirdaughters。ThewilyIsraelites，however，discoveredthattitledsons-in-lawwereexpensivearticlesandoftenturnedoutunsatisfactorily，sotheyquicklydesisted。TheEnglish，themostpracticalofsocieties，havealwayslefttheFaubourgalone。Ithasbeenreservedforourcountrywomentolaythemostdeterminedsiegeyetrecordedtothatuntakenstronghold。

ItisacharacteristicoftheAmericantemperamenttobeunabletoseeacloseddoorwithoutdevelopinganintensecuriositytoknowwhatisbehind；ortoread"NoAdmittancetothePublic"overanentrancewithoutimmediatelydeterminingtogetinsideatanyprice。Soitiseasytounderstandtheattractionanhermeticallysealedsocietywouldhaveforourfaircompatriots。Yearafteryeartheyhaveflungthemselvesagainstitsclosedgateways。

Repulsed，theyhaveretiredonlytoformagainfortheattack，butareasfarawayto-dayfromplantingtheirflaginthatcitadelaswhentheyfirstbegan。Itdoesnotmattertothemwhatisinside；

theremaybe(asinthiscase)onlymouldyoldhallsandagroupofpeoplewithantiquatedideasandways。Itisenoughforacertaintypeofwomantoknowthatsheisnotwantedinanexclusivecircle，tobereadytodieintheattempttogetthere。ThispointofviewremindsoneofMrs。Snob"ssayingaboutanewarrivalatahotel:"Iamsureshemustbe"somebody"forshewassorudetomewhenIspoketoher；"andheranswertoherdaughterwhenthegirlsaid(onarrivingatawatering-place)thatshehadnoticedaverynicefamily"wholookasiftheywantedtoknowus，Mamma:"

"Then，mydear，"repliedMammaSnob，"theycertainlyarenotpeoplewewanttomeet!"

ThemeninFrenchsocietyarewillingenoughtomakeacquaintancewithforeigners。YoumayseetheyouthoftheFaubourgdancingatAmericanballsinParis，orrunningoverforoccasionalvisitstothiscountry。Butwhenitcomestotakingtheirwomen-kindwiththem，itisadifferentmatter。Americanswhohaveknownwell-bornFrenchmenatschoolorcollegearesurprised，onmeetingthemlater，tobeasked(cordiallyenough)todineENGARCONatarestaurant，althoughtheirParisianfriendismarried。AnEnglishman"sorAmerican"sfirstwordwouldbeonalikeoccasion:

"Comeanddinewithmeto-night。Iwanttointroduceyoutomywife。"SuchanideawouldnevercrossaFrenchman"smind!

OneAmericanIknowisastrikingexampleofthis。HewasborninParis，wenttoschoolandcollegethere，andhaslivedinthatcityallhislife。HissistermarriedaFrenchnobleman。Yetatthismoment，inspiteofhiswealth，hischarmingAmericanwife，andmanybeautifulentertainments，hehasnotonewarmFrenchfriend，ortheENTREEonafootingofintimacytoasingleGallichouse。

ThereisnoanalogybetweentheEnglisharistocracyandtheFrenchnobility，exceptthattheyarebothantiquatedinstitutions；theEnglishisthemoreharmfulonaccountofitslegislativepower，theFrenchisthemorepretentious。TheHouseofLordsisthemostopenclubinLondon，thepaymentofanentrance-feeintheshapeofachecktoapartyfundbeinganall-sufficientsesame。InFrance，onemustbeborninthemagiccircle。ThespiritoftheEmigrationof1793isnotyetextinct。Thenoblesliveintheirownworld(howexpressivethewordis，seemingtoexcludealltherestofmankind)，piningafteranimpossibleRESTAURATION，alientothepresentday，holdingalooffrompoliticsforfearofcomingintouchwiththemasses，withwhomtheypridethemselvesonhavingnothingincommon。

Whatleadsmanypeopleastrayonthissubjectisthattherehasformedaroundthisancientsocietyacirclecomposedofrich"outsiders，"whohavemarriedintogoodfamilies；andofeccentricmembersofthelatter，whofromaloveofexcitementorforinterestedmotiveshavebrokenawayfromtheirtraditions。NewlyarrivedAmericansareapttomistakethis"world"fortherealthing。Intothiscircleitisnotdifficultforforeignerswhoarerichandanxioustoseesomethingoflifetogainadmission。Tobereceivedbytheladiesofthisoutercircle，seemstoourcompatriotstobeanachievement，untiltheylearntherealstandingoftheirnewacquaintances。

Nogayerhouses，however，existthanthoseofthenewset。Attheircityorcountryhouses，theyentertaincontinually，andtheyarethepeopleonemeetstowardfiveo"clock，onthegroundsofthePoloClub，intheBois，atFETESgivenbytheIslandClubofPuteaux，attendingtheracemeetings，ordiningatAmericanhouses。

Asfarasamusementandfungo，onemightseekmuchfurtherandfareworse。

Itisvery，veryrarethatforeignersgetbeyondthiscircle。

OccasionallythereisamarriagebetweenanAmericangirlandsomeFrenchmanofhighrank。Inthesecasesthegirlis，asitwere，swallowedup。Herfamilyseelittleofher，sherarelyappearsingeneralsociety，and，littlebylittle，sheislosttoheroldfriendsandrelations。IknowofseveralcasesofthiskindwhereitistobedoubtedifadozenAmericansoutsideofthegirls"

connectionsknowthatsuchwomenexist。ThefallinrentsandlandvalueshasmadetheFrencharistocracypoor；itisonlybythegreatesteconomy(anditneverenteredintoanAmericanmindtoconceiveofsucheconomyasispractisedamongthem)thattheysucceedinholdingontotheirhistoricalchateauxorbeautifulcityresidences；sothatprideplaysalargepartintheisolationinwhichtheylive。

ThefactthatnotitlesarerecognizedofficiallybytheFrenchgovernment(themosttheycanobtainbeinga"courtesy"

recognition)hasplacedthesepeopleinasingularlyfalseposition。AnAmericangirlwhohasmarriedaDukeisagooddealastonishedtofindthatsheislegallyonlyplain"MadameSoandSo；"thatwhenherhusbanddoeshismilitaryservicethereisnotraceofthehigh-soundingtitletobefoundinhisofficialpapers。Someyearsago，acolonelwasrebukedbecauseheallowedtheDucd"Alencontobeaddressedas"Monseigneur"bytheotherofficersofhisregiment。Thisoughttomakeambitiouspapasreflect，whentheytreatthemselvestotitledsons-in-law。Theyshouldatleasttryandgetanarticlerecognizedbythelaw。

MostofwhatiswrittenhereisperfectlywellknowntoresidentAmericansinParis，andhasbeenthecauseofgraduallysplittingthatonceharmonioussettlementintotwoperfectlydistinctcamps，betweenwhichnoloveislost。Themembersofone，clingingtotheircountrymen"screedofhavingthebestornothing，havebeencontentedtoliveinFranceandknowbutfewFrenchpeople，entertainingamongthemselvesandmarryingtheirdaughterstoAmericans。Themembersoftheother，whohave"gonein"forFrenchsociety，takewhattheycanget，and，onthewhole，leadveryjollylives。Itoftenhappens(perhapsitisonlyacoincidence)thatladieswhohavenotbeenverysuccessfulathomearepartialtothiscircle，wheretheyeasilyfindguestsfortheirentertainmentsandtherecognitiontheirsoulslongfor。

Whatthefutureofthe"GreatFaubourg"willbe，itishardtosay。

AllhopeofapossibleRESTAURATIONappearstobelost。WilltheproudnecksthatrefusedtobendtotheOrleansdynastyorthetwo"empires"bowthemselvestotherepublicanyoke？Itwouldseemasifitmustterminateinthisway，foreverythinginthisworldmustfinish。Buttheendisnotyet；onecannothelpfeelingsympathyforpeoplewhoaretryingtoliveuptotheirtraditionsandbetruetosuchimmaterialidolsas"honor"and"family"inthisdiscouraginglymaterialage，wheneverythinggoesdownbeforetheGoldenCalf。NordoesonewonderthatmenwhocantracetheirancestorsbacktotheCrusadesshouldhesitatetoallythemselveswiththelastrichPARVENUwhohasraisedhimselffromthegutter，orresenttheardorwithwhichthelatestimportationofAmericanambitiontriestochumwiththemandpushitswayintotheirlife。

CHAPTER31-Men"sMannersNOTHINGmakesonefeelsooldastowakeupsuddenly，asitwere，andrealizethattheconditionsoflifehavechanged，andthatthestandardsyouknewandacceptedinyouryouthhavebeenraisedorlowered。Theyoungmenyoumeethavesomehowbecomeuncomfortablypolite，offeringyouarmchairsintheclub，andlisteningwithashadeofdeferencetoyourstories。Theyareofanothergeneration；theirwaysarenotyourways，northeirambitionsthoseyouhadinyoungerdays。Oneistemptedtolookalittlecloser，toanalyzewhatthechangeis，inwhatthissubtledifferenceconsists，whichyoufeelbetweenyourpastandtheirpresent。Youaresurprisedandalittleangrytodiscoverthat，amongotherthings，youngmenhavebettermannersthanweregeneralamongtheyouthsoffifteenyearsago。

Anyoneoverfortycanrememberthreeepochsinmen"smanners。WhenIwasaveryyoungman，therewerestillgoingaboutinsocietyanumberofgentlemenbelongingtowhatwasreverentlycalledthe"oldschool，"whohadevidentlytakenSirCharlesGrandisonastheirmodel，readLordChesterfield"sletterstohissonwithattention，andbeenbroughtuptocommenceletterstotheirfathers，"HonoredParent，"signingthemselves"Yourhumbleservantandrespectfulson。"Thereareafewsucholdgentlemenstilltobefoundinthemoreconservativeclubs，wherecertainwindowsaretacitlyabandonedtotheseelegant-manneredfossils。Theyarequiteharmlessunlessyouhappentofindtheminareminiscentmood，whentheyareapttobealittletiresome；ittakestheirrustymentalmachinerysolongtogetworking!Washingtonpossessesaparticularlyfinecollectionamongtheretiredarmyandnavyofficersandex-officials。Itisafactwellknownthatnoonedrawingapensioneverdies。

About1875，anewgenerationwithnewmannersbegantomakeitsappearance。AnumberofitsmembershadbeeneducatedatEnglishuniversities，andcamehomeburningtoupsetoldwaysandteachtheireldershowtolive。Theybrokeawayfromtheoldclubsandstartedsmallerandmoreexclusivecirclesamongthemselves，principallyinthecountry。Thiswasaperiodofbadmanners。

TruetotheirEnglishmodel，theyconsideredit"goodform"tobeuncivilandtomakenoefforttowardsthegeneralentertainmentwheninsociety。Nottospeakmorethanawordortwoduringadinnerpartytoeitherofone"sneighborswasthesupremeCHIC。Asarevoltfromthetwice-toldtalesoftheirelderstheyheldittobe"badform"totellastory，nomatterhowfreshandamusingitmightbe。Anunfortunateoutsiderwhoventuredtotelloneintheirclubwascrushedbyhavinghistalereceivedindeadsilence。

Whenitwasfinishedoneofthepartywould"ringthebell，"andthecircleorderdrinksattheexpenseofthemanwhohaddaredtoamusethem。Howtheprofessionalstory-tellermusthaveshuddered-hewhosestoryneverwasripeuntilithadbeentoldacoupleofhundredtimes，andwhowouldproduceacertaintaleatacertaincourseassurelyasclock-work。

Thatthestory-tellingtypewasabore，Igrant。TobegrabbedonenteringyourclubandobligedtolistentoSmith"slast，ortohavetheconversationafterdinnermonopolizedbyJonesandhiseternal"Speakingofcoffee，Irememberonce，"etc。addedanadditionalhardshiptoexistence。Buttheoppositepose，whichbecamethefashionamongthereformers，washardlylesswearisome。

Tositamongagroupofperfectlymutemen，withanoccasionalworddroppingintothesilencelikeastoneinawell，wassurelylittlebetter。

Agirltoldmeshehadoncesatthroughanentirecotillionwithayouthwhoseonlyremarkduringtheeveninghadbeen(afterabsorbedcontemplationofthearticlesinquestion)，"Howdoyoulikemysocks？"

Onanotheroccasionmyneighborattablesaidtome:

"Ithinkthemanonmyrighthasgonetosleep。Heissittingwithhiseyesclosed!"Shewasmistaken。Hewaspractisinghisnewlyacquired"reposeofmanner，"andlivinguptothestandardofhisset。

Themodelyoungmanofthatperiodhadanotheroffensivehabit，hisposeofneverseeingyou，whichgotonthenervesofhiselderstoaconsiderableextent。Ifhecameintoadrawing-roomwhereyouweresittingwithalady，hewouldshakehandswithherandbeginaconversation，ignoringyourexistence，althoughyoumayhavebeenhisguestatdinnerthenightbefore，orheyours。Thiswasalsoatenetofhiscreedborrowedfromtrans-Atlanticcousins，who，bythebye，duringthetimeIspeakof，foundAmerica，andespeciallyourEasternstates，ahappyhunting-ground，-alltheclubs，countryhouses，andsocietygenerallyopeningtheirdoorstothe"sesame"ofEnglishnationality。

Ittookourinnocentyouthsagoodtenyearstodiscoverthattherewasnoreciprocityinthearrangement；itwasonlyinthenextepoch(thelistofthethreereferredto)thatourmenrecoveredtheirself-respect，andassumedtowardsforeignersingeneraltheattitudeofpoliteindifferencewhichistheirmannertouswhenabroad。Nothingcouldhavebeenmoreprovincialandnarrowthantheideasofour"smart"menatthattime。Theycongregatedinlittlecliques，huddlingtogetherinpublic，andcrackingpersonaloldjokes；butwerespeechlesswithMAUVAISEHONTEifthrownamongforeignersorintoothercirclesofsociety。Allthisisnottobewonderedatconsideringtheamountoftheirgeneraleducationandreading。OnecharminglittlecustomthengreatlyinvogueamongourJEUNESSEDOREEwastoremainataball，aftertheotherguestshadretired，tipsy，andthenbreakanythingthatcametohand。Itwassoamusingtothrowchina，glass，orvaluableplants，outofthewindows，tostriptothewaistandboxorbaitthetiredwaiters。

Ilookattheboysgrowinguparoundmewithsincereadmiration，theyaresosuperiortotheirpredecessorsinbreeding，incivility，indeferencetoolderpeople，andinathousandotherlittlewaysthatmarkhigh-bredmen。ThestrayEnglishman，ofnoparticularstandingathomenolongerfindsourmeneagertoentertainhim，toputtheirbest"hunter"athisdisposition，toboard，lodge，andfeedhimindefinitely，ormakehimhonorarymemberofalltheirclubs。Itisaconstantsourceofpleasuretometowatchthisyoungergeneration，soplainlydoIseeinthemtheinfluenceoftheirmothers-womenIknewasgirls，andwhoweresofaraheadoftheirbrothersandhusbandsinrefinementandculture。Tohaveseenthesegirlsmarryandbringuptheirsonssowellhasbeenasatisfactionandacompensationformanydisillusions。Woman"sinfluencewillalwaysremainthestrongestleverthatcanbebroughttobearinraisingthetoneofafamily；

itisimpossiblenottoseeabouttheseyoungmenareflectionofwhatwefoundsocharmingintheirmothers。Onedespairsattimesofhumanity，seeingvulgarityandsnobbishnessridingtriumphantlyupward；butwherethetoneoftheyoungergenerationisashighasIhavelatelyfoundit，thereisstillmuchhopeforthefuture。

CHAPTER32-AnIdealHostessTHEsayingthat"One-halfoftheworldignoreshowtheotherhalflives"receivedformeanadditionalconfirmationthislastweek，whenIhadthegoodfortunetomeetagainanoldfriend，nowforsomeyearsretiredfromthestage，whereshehadbyhercharmandbeauty，aswellasbyhersinging，heldalltheParisianworldatherprettyfeet。

Ourmeetingwasfollowedonherpartbyaninvitationtotakeluncheonwithherthenextday，"tomeetafewfriends，andtalkoveroldtimes。"Sohalf-pasttwelve(theinvariablehourforthe"secondbreakfast，"inFrance)thefollowingdayfoundmeenteringashadydrawing-room，whereafewpeopleweresittinginthecoolhalf-lightthatstrayedacrossfromacanvas-coveredbalconyfurnishedwithplantsandlowchairs。BeyondonecaughtaglimpseofperhapsthegayestpicturethatthebrightcityofParisoffers，-thesweepoftheBoulevardasitturnstotheRueRoyale，theflowermarket，gaywithathousandcolorsinthesummersunshine，whileaboveallthecolorandmovement，rose，coolandgray，thesplendidcolonnadeoftheMadeleine。Therattleofcarriages，therolloftheheavyomnibusesandtheshrillcriesfromthestreetbelowfloatedup，softenedintoaharmoniousmurmurthatinnowayinterferedwithourconversation，andissweeterthanthefinestmusictothosewholovetheirParis。

FiveorsixroomsENSUITEopeningonthestreet，andasmanymoreonalargecourt，formedtheapartment，whereeverythingbetrayedtheARTISTEandthesinger。Thewalls，hungwithsilkortapestry，heldacollectionoforiginaldrawingsandpaintings，afortuneinthemselves；thedozenportraitsofourhostessinfavoriteroleswerebymengreatintheartworld；acoupleofpianoscoveredwithwell-wornmusicandnumberlessphotographssignedwithnamesthatwouldhavemadeanautograph-fiend"smouthwater。

Afteragracious，cooingwelcome，morewhisperedthanspoken，IwaspresentedtotheguestsIdidnotknow。Beforethisceremonywaswellover，twomaidsinblack，withwhitecaps，openedadoorintothedining-roomandannouncedluncheon。Asthisiswrittenonthethemethat"peopleknowtoolittlehowtheirneighborslive，"I

givetheMENU。Itmayamusemyreadersandserve，perhaps，asalittleobjectlessontothoseathomewhoimaginethatquantityandnotqualityisofimportance。

Ourgracioushostesshadearnedafortuneinherprofession(andI

amtoldthattwoCHEFSpresideoverhersimplemeals)；soitwasnotaspiritofeconomywhichdictatedthissimplicity。Atfirst，HORSD"OEUVRESwereserved，-allsortsoftemptinglittlethings，-verythinslicesofham，spicedsausages，olivesandcaviar，andeaten-notmerelypassedandrefused。Thencametheonehotdishofthemeal。"One!"IthinkIhearmyreaderexclaim。Yes，myfriend，butthatonewasamarvelinitsway。ChickenA

L"ESPAGNOLE，boiled，andburiedinriceandtomatoescookedwhole-

adishtobedreamedofandrememberedinone"sprayersandthanksgivings!AfteratleasttwohelpingseachtothisCHEF-

D"OEUVRE，coldlardedfilletandameatpatewereservedwiththesalad。Thenabitofcheese，abeatencreamofchocolate，fruit，andbon-bons。Foradrinkwehadthewhitewinefromwhichchampagneismade(byachemicalprocessandtheadditionofmanyinjuriousingredients)；inotherwords，apureBRUTchampagnewithjustasuggestionofsparkleatthebottomofyourglass。Allthepartythenmigratedtogetherintothesmoking-roomforcigarettes，coffee，andatinyglassofLIQUEUR。

Thesedetailshavebeengivenatlength，notonlybecausethemealseemedtome，whileIwaseatingit，tobeworthyofwholecolumnsofprint，butbecauseoneofthebesettingsinsofourdearlandistoserveaprofusionoffoodnoonewantsandwhichthehostesswouldneverhavedreamedoforderinghadshebeenalone。

Nothingismorewearisomethantositattableandseecourseaftercourse，good，bad，andindifferent，served，afteryouhaveeatenwhatyouwant。Andnothingismorevulgarthantoservethem；foreitheraguestrefusesagreatdealofthefoodandappearsuncivil，orhemusteat，andregretitafterwards。Ifweaskpeopletoameal，itshouldbetosuchasweeat，asageneralthing，ourselves，andsuchastheywouldhaveathome。Otherwiseitbecomesostentationandvulgarity。Whyshouldonebeexpelledtoeatmorethanusualbecauseafriendhasbeenniceenoughtoaskonetotakeone"sdinnerwithhim，insteadofeatingitalone？Itisthebeingamongfriendsthattempts，notthefood；thefactatskilfulwaitershavebeenabletoserveadozenvarietiesoffish，flesh，andfowlduringthetimeyouwereattablehasaddedlittletoanyone"spleasure。Onthecontrary!Halfthetimeoneeatsfrompureabsenceofmind，anumberofmostinjuriousmixturesandsopreparesanawfulto-morrowandthefoundationofmanycomplicateddiseases。

IseeSmithandJonesdailyattheclub，wherewedinecheerfullytogetheronsoup，acutofthejoint，adessert，anddrinkapintofclaret。ButifeitherMrs。SmithorMrs。Jonesasksmetodinner，wehaveeightcoursesandhalfasmanywines，andSmithwillsayquitegravelytome，"Trythis"75"PerrierJouet"，"asifhewereinthehabitofdrinkingitdaily。Itmakesmesmile，forhewouldassoonthinkoforderingabottleofthatwineattheclubashewouldthinkoforderingaflaskofnectar。

Buttoreturntoour"mutton。"Aswehadnoneofuseatentoomuch(andsobecomedigestingmachines)，wewerecheerfulandsprightly。

Alittlemusicfollowedandanauthorrepeatedsomeofhispoetry。

Inoticedthatduringthehourbeforewebrokeupourhostesscontrivedtohavealittletalkwitheachofherguests，whichshemadequitepersonal，appearingforthemomentasthoughtherestoftheworlddidnotexistforher，thanwhichthereisnomoresubtleflattery，andwhichistheactofawell-bredandappreciativewoman。GuestscannotbetreatedENMASSEanymorethanfood；toaskamantoyourhouseisnotenough。Heshouldbemadetofeel，ifyouwishhimtogoawaywithapleasantremembranceoftheentertainment，thathispresencehasinsomewayaddedtoitandbeenapersonalpleasuretohishost。

AgoodsoulthatallNewYorkknewafewyearsago，whoseentertainmentswereasthoughthestreethadbeenturnedintoaSALONforthemoment，usedtogoaboutamongherguestssaying，"Therehavebeenonehundredandseventy-fivepeopleherethisThursday，tenmorethanlastweek，"withsuchasatisfiedsmile，thatyoufeltthatshehadlittlelefttowishfor，andfoundyourselfwonderingjustwhichnumberyourepresentedinhermind。

Whenyouenteredshemusthavemurmuredanumeraltoherselfassheshookyourhand。

ThereismorethanonehouseinNewYorkwhereIhavegravedoubtsifthehostandhostessarequitesureofmynamewhenIdinethere；afteranabstractedwelcome，theyrarelyputthemselvesouttoentertaintheirguests。Blackcoatsandeveningdressesalternateinpleasingperspectivedownthelonglineoftheirtable。Theirgoldplateisout，andtheCHEFhasbeenallowedtoworkhisownsweetwill，sotheygivethemselvesnofurthertrouble。

Whydoesnotsomeonesuggesttotheseamphitrionstosendfifteendollarsinprettilymonogrammedenvelopestoeachoftheirfriends，requestingthemtoexpenditonadinner。Thecomplimentwouldbequiteaspersonal，andthentheguestsmightmakeuplittlepartiestosuitthemselves，whichwouldbemuchmoresatisfactorythangoing"in"withsomeonechosenathazardfromtheirhost"svisitinglist，andlessfatiguingtothatgentlemanandhisfamily。

CHAPTER33-TheIntroducerWEallsuffermoreorlessfromtheperennial"freshness"ofcertainacquaintances-tiresomepeoplewhomamisguidedProvidencehasendowedwithover-flowingvitalityandanirrepressibleloveoftheirfellowmen，andwho，notcontentwithlookingonlifeasacontinual"spree，"insistonmakingothershappyinspiteofthemselves。Theirnameislegionandtheirpresenceubiquitous，buttheyrarelyannoyasmuchaswhendisguisedunderthemaskofthe"Introducer。"Inhisclutchesoneishelpless。Itisimpossibletoescapefromsuchphilanthropictyranny。He，inhisfreshness，imaginesthattopresenthumanbeingstoeachotherishismissioninthisworldandmovesthroughlifemakingtheseplatonicunions，oblivious，asareothermatch-makers，ofthemiseryhecreates。

Ifyouareoutforaquietstroll，oneofthesegenialgentlemenissuretocomeboundingup，andwithoutnoticeorwarningpresentyoutohis"friend，"-thegreaterpartofthetimeamanhehasmetonlyanhourbefore，butwhomheendowsoutofthewarehouseofhisgenerousimaginationwithseveraltalentsandallthevirtues。Inordertomakethesituationjustoneshademoreuncomfortable，thiskindlyboreproceedstosingahymnofpraiseconcerningbothofyoutoyourfaces，adding，inorderthatyoumaybothfeelquitefriendlyandpleasant:

"Iknowyoutwowillfancyeachother，youaresoalike，"-aphraseneatlycalculatedtonipanyconversationinthebud。Youdetesttheunoffendingstrangeronthespotandwouldliketokillthebore。Nottoappearanabsolutebruteyoustrugglethroughsomecommonplacephrases，discoveringthewhilethatyournewacquaintanceisnomoreanxioustoknowyou，thanyouaretomeethim；thathehasnottheslightestideawhoyouare，neitherdoeshedesiretofindout。Heclassesyouwiththebore，andhisoneidea，likeyourown，istoescape。SothattheonlyresultoftheIntroducer"sgood-naturedinterferencehasbeentomaketwofellow-

creaturesmiserable。

Afriendwastellingmetheotherdayofthemartyrdomhehadsufferedfromthisclass。Hespokewithmuchfeeling，asheisthesoulofamiability，butsomewhatshort-sightedandafflictedwithahopelesslybadmemoryforfaces。Forthelastfewyears，hehasbeeninthehabitofspendingoneortwoofthewintermonthsinWashington，wherehisfriendsputhimupatonecluboranother。

Eachwinteronhisfirstappearanceatoneoftheseclubs，somekindlydisposedoldfogyissuretopresenthimtoacircleofthemembers，andhefindshimselfindiscriminatelyshakinghandswithJudgesandColonels。Aslittleornoconversationfollowstheseintroductionstofixtheindividualityofthemembersinhismind，heunconsciouslycutstwo-thirdsofhisnewlyacquiredcirclethenextafternoon，andthefollowingwinter，afteraten-months"

absence，heinnocentlyignorestheotherthird。Sohopelesslyhasheoffendedinthisway，thatlastseason，onbeingpresentedtoaclubmember，thelatterpeevishlyblurtedout:

"ThisisthefourthtimeIhavebeenintroducedtoMr。Blank，butheneverremembersme，"andglaredcoldlyathim，layingitalldowntomyfriend"ssnobbishnessandtotheairsofaNewYorkerwhenawayfromhome。Ifinsteadofbeingsacrificedtotheintroducer"smistakenzealmypoorfriendhadbeenleftquietlytohimself，hewouldingoodtimehavemetthepeoplecongenialtohimandavoidedgivingoffencetoanumberofkindlygentlemen。

Thisintroducingmaniatakesanevenmoreaggressiveforminthehostess，whoimaginesthatsheislackinginhospitalityifanytwopeopleinherdrawing-roomarenotmadeknowntoeachother。Nomatterhowinterestedyoumaybeinachatwithafriend，youwillseeherbearingdownuponyou，bringingintowtheonehumanbeingyouhavecarefullyavoidedforyears。Escapeseemsimpossible，butasaforlornhopeyouflingyourselfintoconversationwithyournearestneighbor，tryingbyyourabsorbedmannertowardoffthecalamity。Invain!Withataponyourelbowyoursmilinghostessintroducesyouand，havingspoiledyourafternoon，flitsoffinsearchofotherprey。

Thequestionofintroductionsisoneonwhichitisimpossibletolaydownanyfixedrules。Theremustconstantlyoccursituationswhereone"sactsmustdependuponakindlyconsiderationforotherpeople"sfeelings，whichafterall，isonlyanothernamefortact。

Nothingsoplainlyshowsthebreedingofamanorwomanasskillinsolvingproblemsofthiskindwithoutgivingoffence。

Foreigners，withtheirgreaterknowledgeoftheworld，rarelyfallintotheerrorofindiscriminateintroducing，appreciatingwhatapresentationmeansandwhatobligationsitentails。TheEnglishfallintoexactlythecontraryerrorfromours，andcarryittoabsurdlengths。Startingwiththeassumptionthateverybodyknowseverybody，andbeingawareofthegeneraldreadofmeeting"detrimentals，"theyavoidthedifficultybymakingnointroductions。Thismayworkwellamongthemselves，butitistryingtoastrangerwhomtheyhavebeengoodenoughtoasktotheirtables，tositoutthemealbetweentwopeoplewhoignorehispresenceandconverseacrosshim；foranEnglishmanwillexpiresoonerthanspeaktoapersontowhomhehasnotbeenintroduced。

TheFrench，withthemarvelloustactthathasforcenturiesmadethemthelaw-giversonallsubjectsofetiquetteandbreeding，haveanotherwayofavoidinguselessintroductions。Theyassumethattwopeoplemeetinginadrawing-roombelongtothesameworldandsochatpleasantlywiththosearoundthem。OnleavingtheSALON

theacquaintanceissupposedtoend，andagentlemanwhoshouldatanothertimeorplaceboworspeaktotheladywhohadofferedhimacupofteaandtalkedpleasantlytohimoveritatafriend"sreception，wouldcommitagrossbreachofetiquette。

IwasoncepresentatalargedinnergiveninColognetotheAmericanGeographicalSociety。NosoonerwasIseatedthanmytwoneighborsturnedtowardsmementioningtheirnamesandwaitingformetodothesame。Afterthattheconversationflowedonasamongfriends。Thiscustomstruckmeasexceedinglywell-bredandcalculatedtomakeaforeignerfeelathisease。

Amongothercurioustypes，therearepeoplesoconstitutedthattheyareunhappyifasinglepersoncanbefoundintheroomtowhomtheyhavenotbeenintroduced。Itdoesnotmatterwhothestrangermaybeorwhatchancethereisoffindinghimcongenial。

Theymustbepresented；nothingelsewillcontentthem。Ifyouarechattingwithafriendyoufeelapullatyoursleeve，andinanaudibleaside，theyaskforanintroduction。Theaspirantwillthenbringupandpresentthemembersofhisfamilywhohappentobenear。Afterthatheseemstobeatease，andhavingabsolutelynothingtosaywillsoondriftoff。Ourpublicmensufferterriblyfrompromiscuousintroductions；itisapartofapoliticalcareer；

agoodmemoryfornamesandfacesandacordialmannerunderfirehaveoftengonealongwayinfloatingastatesmanontosuccess。

Demand，wearetold，createssupply。DuringashortstayinaFloridahotellastwinter，Inoticedacuriouslittlemanwholookedlikeacrossbetweenawaiterandamusician。Ashespoketomeseveraltimesandseemedveryofficious，Iaskedwhohewas。

TheanswerwassogrotesquethatIcouldnotbelievemyears。I

wastoldthatheheldthepositionofofficial"introducer，"ormasterofceremonies，andthattheguestsunderhisguidancebecameknowntoeachother，danced，rode，andmarriedtotheirownanddoubtlesstohissatisfaction。Thefurtherwestonegoesthemorepronouncedthismaniabecomes。Everybodyisintroducedtoeverybodyonallimaginableoccasions。Ifamanasksyoutotakeadrink，hepresentsyoutothebar-tender。Ifhetakesyouforadrive，thecab-driverisintroduced。"Boots"makesyouacquaintedwiththechambermaid，andthehotelproprietorunitesyouinthebondsoffriendshipwiththeclerkatthedesk。Intercoursewithone"sfellowsbecomesonelongdebauchofintroduction。Inthiscountrywhereeverylibertyisrespected，itisacuriousfactthatweshouldbedeniedthemostimportantofallrights，thatofchoosingouracquaintances。

CHAPTER34-AQuestionandanAnswerDEARIDLER:

IHAVEbeenreadingyourarticlesinTheEveningPost。Theyarereallymostamusing!Youdoknowsuchalotaboutpeopleandthings，thatIamtemptedtowriteandaskyouaquestiononasubjectthatispuzzlingme。Whatisitthatisnecessarytosucceed-socially？There!Itisout!Pleasedonotlaughatme。

Suchfunnypeoplegetonandsuchclever，agreeableonesfail，thatIamallatsea。Nowdobeniceandanswerme，andyouwillhaveaverygratefulADMIRER。

Theabovenote，inaratherjuvenilefemininehand，andbreathingafaintperfumeofVIOLETTEDEPARME，waspartofthemorning"smailthatIfoundlyingonmydeskafewdaysago，indelightfulcontrasttothebillsandadvertisementswhichformedthebulkofmycorrespondence。ItwouldsupposeastoicismgreaterthanI

possess，nottohavefeltathrillofsatisfactioninitsperusal。

Therewas，then，someonewhoreadwithpleasurewhatIwrote，andwhohadbeenmovedtoconsultmeonaquestion(evidentlytoher)

ofimportance。Iinstantlydecidedtodomybestfortheedificationofmyfaircorrespondent(fornodoubtenteredmyheadthatshewasbothyoungandfair)，themorereadilybecausethatveryquestionhadfrequentlypresenteditselftomyownmindonobservingtheverycapriciouschoiceofDame"Fashion"inthedistributionofherfavors。

Thattherearepeoplewhosucceedbrilliantlyandmovefromsuccesstosuccess，amidanapplaudingcrowdoffriendsandadmirers，whileothers，apparentlytheirsuperiorsineveryway，aredistancedintherace，isanundeniablefact。Youhavebuttoglancearoundthecircleofyouracquaintancesandrelationstobeconvincedofthisanomaly。Toareflectingmindthequestionimmediatelypresentsitself，Whyisthis？Generalsocietyiscertainlycultivatedenoughtoappreciateintelligenceandsuperiorendowments。Howthendoesithappenthatthesocialfavoritesaresooftenlackinginthequalitieswhichatafirstglancewouldseemindispensabletosuccess？

Beforegoinganyfurtherletusstopamoment，andlookatthesubjectfromanotherside，foritismoreseriousthanappearstobeonthesurface。Tobelovedbythosearoundus，tostandwellintheworld，iscertainlythemostlegitimateaswellasthemostcommonofambitions，aswellastheincentivetomostoftheindustryandperseveranceinlife。Asidefromscience，whichissometimesfollowedforitselfalone，andvirtue，whichwearetoldlooksfornootherreward，thehopewhichinspiresagreatdealofthepersistenteffortswesee，isgenerallythatofraisingone"sselfandthoseonelovesbyone"seffortsintoaspherehigherthanwherecruelfatehadplacedthem；thatthey，too，maytaketheirplaceinthesunshineandenjoythegoodthingsoflife。Thisambitionisoftenpurelydisinterested；alifeofhardesttoilischeerfully

borne，withthehope(forsoleconsolation)thatdearoneswillprofitlaterbyallthework，andliveinacirclethepatienttoilerneverdreamsofentering。Surelyheisasternmoralistwhowoulddenythissatisfactiontothebreadwinnerofafamily。

Therearedoubtlessmanyhighermotivesinlife，moreelevatedgoalstowardwhichstrugglinghumanityshouldstrive。Ifyouexaminetheaveragemind，however，youwillbeprettysuretofindthatsuccessisthetouchstonebywhichwejudgeourfellowsandwhat，inourhearts，weadmirethemost。Thatisnottobewonderedat，either，forwehavedoneallwecantoimplantitthere。Fromachild"sfirstopeningthought，itisimpresseduponhimthatthegreatobjectofexistenceistosucceed。Didaparentevertellachildtotryandstandlastinhisclass？Andyethumilityisavirtueweadmireintheabstract。Areanyofuswillingtostepasideandseeourinferiorspassusintherace？

Thatistoomuchtoaskofpoorhumanity。Wereotherandhigherstandardstobeaccepted，thestructureofcivilizationasitexiststo-daywouldcrumbleawayandthegreatmachinerundown。

Inreturningtomycorrespondentandherperfectlylegitimatedesiretoknowtheroadtosuccess，wemustrealizethattoalargepartoftheworldsocialsuccessistheonlykindtheyunderstand。

Thegreatinventorsandbenefactorsofmankindlivetoofarawayonaplanebythemselvestobetheobjectofjealousytoanybutaverysmallcircle；ontheotherhand，inthesedaysofequality，especiallyinthiscountrywherecastehasneverexisted，thesocialworldseemstoholdoutalluringandtangiblegiftstohimwhocanenteritsenchantedportals。Evenpolitics，tojudgebytheactionsofsomeofourlegislators，oflate，wouldseemtobeonlyastepping-stonetoitsdoor!

"Butmyquestion，"Ihearmyfairinterlocutorsaying。"Youarenotansweringit!"

Allingoodtime，mydear。Iamjustabouttodoso。DidyoueverhearofDarwinandhistheoryof"selection？"Itwouldbeaslighttoyourintelligencenottotakeitforgrantedthatyouhad。

Well，myobservationsintheworldleadmetobelievethatwefollowthereunconsciously，thesamerulesthatguidethewildbeastsintheforest。Certainindividualsareendowedbynaturewithtemperamentswhichmakethemtakenaturallytoasociallifeandshinethere。Inittheyfindtheirnaturalelement。Theydevelopfreelyjustwhereothersshrivelupanddisappear。Thereiscontinuallygoingonunseena"naturalselection，"thediscardingofunfitmaterial，theassimilationofnewandcongenialelementsfromoutside，withthelogicalresultofasurvivalofthefittest。Asidefromthis，youwillfindin"theworld，"asanywhereelse，thatthepersonwhosucceedsisgenerallyhewhohasbeenwillingtogivethemostofhisstrengthandmindtothatoneobject，andhasnotallowedtheflowersonthehillsidetodistracthimfromhispath，rememberingalsothatgeniusisoftenbutthe"capacityfortakinginfinitepains。"

Therearepeoplesoconstitutedthattheycheerfullygivetheeffortsofalifetimetotheattainmentofabrilliantsocialposition。Nofatigueistoogreat，andnosnubstoobittertobewillinglyundergoneinpursuitofthecherishedobject。Youwillneverfindsuchanindividual，forinstance，wanderingintheflowerybywaysthatleadtoartorletters，forthatwouldwastehistime。Ifhisfamilyaretoohardtoraise，hewillabandontheattemptandrisewithoutthem，forhecannothelphimself。Heisbutanatomworkingasblindlyupwardastheplantthatpushesitsmysteriouswaytowardsthesun。Brainsarenotnecessary。Goodlooksarebutatrumpthemoreinthe"hand。"Mannersmayhelp，butarenotessential。Theobjectcanbeandisattaineddailywithoutallthree。Wealthisbuttheoilthatmakesthemachineryrunmoresmoothly。Theall-importantfactoristhedesiretosucceed，sostrongthatitmakesanypriceseemcheap，andthatcanpayitselfbyastepgained，formortificationandwearinessandheart-burnings。

There，mydear，isthesecretofsuccess!IstopbecauseIfeelmyselfbecomingbitter，andthatisaframeofmindtobecarefullyavoided，becauseitinterfereswiththedigestionandupsetsone"sgentlecalm!Ihavetriedtoansweryourquestion。Theanswerresolvesitselfintothesetwothings；thatitisnecessarytobebornwithqualitieswhichyoumaynotpossess，andcallsforsacrificesyouwoulddoubtlessbeunwillingtomake。Itremainswithyoutodecideifthelittlegameisworththecandle。ThedelightfulcommonsenseIfeelquitesureyoupossessreassuresmeastoyouranswer。

Takegaylysuchgoodthingsasmayfloatyourway，andprofitbythemwhiletheylast。Wanderoffintoallthecross-roadsthattemptyou。Stopoftentolendahelpinghandtoalessfortunatetraveller。Restintheheatoftheday，asyourspiritpromptsyou。Sitdownbeforethesunsetandrevelinitsbeautyandyouwillfindyourvoyagethroughlifemuchmoresatisfactorytolookbacktoandfulloffarsweetermemoriesthanifbysacrificinganyofthesepleasuresyouhadattainedthegreatestof"positions。"

CHAPTER35-LivingonyourFriendsTHACKERAYdevotedachapterin"VanityFair"totheproblem"HowtoLiveWellonNothingaYear。"Itwasneitheraverynewnoraveryingeniousexpedientthat"Becky"resortedtowhenshediscountedherhusband"spositionandconnectiontofleecethetradespeopleandcheatanoldfamilyservantoutofayear"srent。Theauthormightmorejustlyhaveusedhiscleverphraseindescribing"MajorPendennis"s"agreeableexistence。Wehavemadegreatprogressinthis，asinalmosteveryothermodeofliving，inthelatterhalfoftheVictorianera；intelligentindividualsofeithersex，whoknowtheropes，cannowaseasilyleadtheexistenceofamulti-

millionaire(withasmuchsatisfactiontothemselvesandtheirfriends)asthoughthebankaccount，withallitsattendantworries，stoodintheirownnames。Thissubjectissovast，itsramificationssofar-reachingandcomplicated，thatonehesitatesbeforelaunchingintoananalysisofit。Itwillbebettersimplytogiveafewinterestingexamples，andageneralruleortwo，fortheenlightenmentandguidanceofingenioussouls。

Humannaturechangeslittle；allthatoureducationalandsocialtraininghasaccomplishedisasmoothingofthesurface。Oneofthemoststrikingproofsofthisis，thathereinourprimitivecountry，assoonasaccumulationofcapitalallowedcertainfamiliestoliveingreatluxury，theyreturnedtothewaysofolderaristocracies，and，withotherwants，feltthenecessityofacourtaboutthem，ladiesandgentlemeninwaiting，pagesandjesters。Natureabhorsavacuum，soaclassofpeopleimmediatelyfeltanirresistibleimpulsetorushinandfillthevoid。Ouraristocratswerenotevenobligedtosendabroadtofillthesevacancies，astheywerefortheirfootmenandbutlers；thenativearticlewasquitereadyandwillingand，consideringthelittlepracticeitcouldhavehad，provedwonderfullyadaptedtothework。

Whenthemaniaforbuildingimmensecountryhousesandyachts(theowningofoperaboxesgoesalittlefurtherback)firstattackedthiscountry，thebuildersimaginedthat，oncecompleted，itwouldbetheeasiest，aswellasthemostdelightfultasktofillthemwiththepickoftheirfriends，thattheycouldgetallthetalentedandagreeablepeopletheywantedbysimplymakingasign。

Totheirastonishment，theydiscoveredthatwhatappearedsosimplewasadifficult，aswellasathanklesslabor。Irememberaskingaladywhohadowneda"proscenium"attheoldAcademy，whyshehaddecidednottotakeaboxinthe(then)newopera-house。

"Because，havingpassedthirtyyearsofmylifeinvitingpeopletositinmybox，Iintendnowtorest。"Itisverymuchthesamethingwithyachts。Acouplewhohaddeterminedtogoaroundtheworld，intheirlatelyfinishedboat，weredumbfoundedtofindtheirinvitationswerenoteagerlyaccepted。Afterexhaustingthesmalllistofpeopletheyreallywanted，theybeganwithothersindifferenttothem，andeventhenfilledouttheirnumberwithdifficulty。Ahostesswhocountsonaseriesofhousepartiesthroughtheautumnmonths，mustbeginearlyinthesummerifsheistohavetheguestsshedesires。

Itisjustherethatthe"professional，"ifImaybeallowedtousesuchanexpression，comestothefront。Heisalwaysavailable。

ItisindifferenttohimifhestartsonatouraroundtheworldorforawinterspreetoMontreal。Heisalwaysamusing，good-

humored，andcanbecountedonatthelastmomenttofillanyvacantplace，withoutbeingtheleastoffendedatthetardyinvitation，forhebelongstotheclasswhohavediscovered"howtolivewellonnothingayear。"Luxuryisasthebreathofhisnostrils，buthismeansallowoflittlebeyondnecessities。Thetemptationmustbegreatwheneverythingthatheappreciatesmost(andcannotafford)isurgeduponhim。Weshouldnotposeastoosternmoralists，andthrowstonesathim；fortheremayentermore"bestFrenchplate"intothecompositionofourownhousesthanweimagine。

Itishereourepochshowsitsimprovementoverearlierandcruderdays。Atpresentnotoad-eatingisconnectedwiththeacceptanceofhospitality，or，ifoccasionallyasmall"batrachian"isoffered，itissowelldisguisedbyanaccomplishedCHEF，andservedonsuchexquisiteoldDresden，thatitslipsdownwithverylittleeffort。Eventhisrarelyoccurs，unlesstheguesthasallowedhimselftobecometheinmateofaresidenceoryacht。Thenhetakeshischancewithothermembersofthehousehold，andifthehostorhostesshappenstohaveabadtemperasaset-offtotheirgoodtable，itisapttofareillwithourfriend。

Sofar，Ihavespokenofthisclassinthemasculine，whichisanerror，astheartissuccessfullypractisedbytheweakersex，withthisshadeofdifference。Asanunmarriedwomanisinlessgeneraldemand，sheisapttoattachherselftoonedearfriend，alwayssuretobealadyinpossessionoffinecountryandcityhousesandotherappurtenancesofwealth，oftenofinferiorsocialstanding；

sothatthereisgiveandtake，theguestrenderingrealservicetoanambitioushostess。Thefeminineaspirantneednotbehandsome。

Onthecontrary，anagreeableplainnessismuchmoreacceptable，servingasafoil。Butshemustbeexcellentinallgames，fromgolftopiquet，andwillingtoplayasoftenandaslongasrequired。Shemustalsocheerfullygointodinnerwiththeblueribbonboreoftheevening，onlyaskedonaccountofhisprettywife(bythebye，whyisitthatBeautyissooftenflankedbytheBeast？)，andsitbetweenhimandthe"secondprize"bore。Thesetwoworthieswouldhavebeentheportionofthehostessfifteenyearsago；shewouldhaveconsidereditherdutytoabsorbthemandpreventherotherguestssuffering。MAIS

CELA。Theladyofthehousenowthinksfirstofamusingherself，andarrangestositbetweentwofavorites。

Societyhasbecomemuchsimpler，andespeciallylessexpensive，forunmarriedmenthanitusedtobe。Evenifahostessasksafavorinreturnforweeksofhospitality，thesacrificesherequiresofamanisrarelygreaterthanacotillionwithanunattractivedebutantewhomsheistryingtolaunch；orthesittingthroughaparticularlydulloperainordertoseehertothecarriage，herlordandmasterhavingslippedoffearlytohisclubandaquietgameofpool。Manypeoplewhoreadtheselinesareoldenoughtorememberthatprehistoricperiodwhenunmarriedgirlswenttothetheatreandparties，alonewiththementheyknew。ThiscustomstillprevailsinourirrepressibleWest。Itwasanarrangementbywhichalltheexpensesfellontheman-theatretickets，carriagesifitrained，andoftenabitofsupperafter。Ifayouthaskedagirltodancethecotillion，hewasexpectedtosendabouquet，suretocostbetweentwentyandtwenty-fivedollars。Whatablessedchangefortheimpecuniousswellwhenallthiswentoutoffashion!NewYorkishisparadisenow；inotherpartsoftheworldsomethingisstillexpectedofhim。InFranceittakestheformofahandsomebagofbon-bonsonNewYear"sDay，ifhehasacceptedhospitalityduringthepastyear。Whilehereheneeddoabsolutelynothing(unlesshewishesto)，theoccasionalleavingofacardhavingbeensuppressedoflatebyourJEUNESSEDOREE，fiveminutesoftheirsocietyinanoperaboxbeingestimated(bythem)asamplereturnforadinneroraweekinacountryhouse。

Thetruthofitis，therearesofewmenwho"goout"(itbeingpracticallyimpossibleforanyoneworkingataseriousprofessiontositupnightafternight，evenifhedesired)，andatthesametimesomanywomeninsistonentertainingtoamusethemselvesorbettertheirposition，thatthemenwhogoaboutgetspoiledandalmostcometoconsidertheobligationconferred，whentheydineout。ThereisnomoreamusingsightthanpoorpaterfamiliassittingintheclubbetweensixandsevenP。M。pretendingtoreadtheeveningpaper，butreallywithhiseveonthedoor；hehasbeensentdownbyhiswifeto"getaman，"assheisoneshortforherdinnerthisevening。Hemustbeonewhowillfitinwellwiththeotherguests；hencepapa"sanxiouslook，andthereasontheeditorialgetssolittleofhisattention!Watchhimasyoung"professional"loungesin。Thereisjusthisman-ifheonlyhappenstobedisengaged!Youwillsee"Pater"crosstheroomandshakehands，then，afterafewminutes"whisperedconversation，hewillwalkdowntohiscoupewithsucharelievedlookonhisface。

Young"professional，"whoisinfaultlesseveningdress，willringforacocktailandtakeupthediscardedeveningpapertopassthetimetilleighttwenty-five。

Eighttwenty-five，advisedly，forhewillbethelasttoarrive，knowing，cleverdog，howmucheCLATitgivesonetohavearoomfullofpeopleaskingeachother，"Whomarewewaitingfor？"whenthedooropens，andheisannounced。Hewillstayamomentaftertheotherguestshavegoneandreceivethemostcordialpressuresofthehandfromagratefulhostess(ifnotspokenwordsofthanks)

inreturnforeatinganexquisitelycookeddinner，seatedbetweentwoagreeablewomen，drinkingirreproachablewine，smokingacigar，andwashingthewholedownwithaglassof1830brandy，orsomepricelesshistoricmadeira。

Thereisprobablyamoraltobeextractedfromallthis。ButfranklymyethicsaresomixedthatIfailtoseewheretheblamelies，andwhichisthelessworthyindividual，theostentatiousaxe-grindinghostortheinterestedguest。Onething，however，I

seeclearly，viz。，thatlifeisveryagreeabletohimwhostartsinwithfewprejudices，goodmanners，alargeamountofwell-concealed"cheek"andthehappyfacultyoftakingthingsastheycome。

CHAPTER36-AmericanSocietyinItalyTHEphraseattheheadofthischapterandothersentences，suchas"AmericanSocietyinParis，"orLondon，areconstantlyonthelipsofpeoplewhoshouldknowbetter。Inrealitythesesocietiesdonotexist。Doesmyreaderpause，wonderingifhecanbelievehiseyes？Hehasdoubtlessheardallhislifeofthesedelightfulcircles，andbelievesinthem。Hemayevenhavedined，ENPASSANT，atthe"palace"ofsomeresidentcompatriotinRomeorFlorence，undertheimpressionthathewaswithinitsmysticlimits。

Illusion!Aneffectofmirage，makingthatwhichappearsquitetangibleandsolidwhenviewedfromadistancedissolveintothinairasoneapproaches；likethemirage，cheatingthewearytravellerwithavisionofwhathemostlongsfor。

Forty，evenfiftyyearsago，therelivedinRomeagroupofveryagreeablepeople；StoryandthetwoGreenoughsandCrawford，thesculptor(fatherofthebrilliantnovelistoftoday)；CharlotteCushman(whodividedhertimebetweenRomeandNewport)，andherfriendMissStebbins，thesculptress，towhosehandsweowethebronzefountainontheMallinourPark；Rogers，thenworkingatthebronzedoorsofourcapitol，andmanyothercultivatedandagreeablepeople。Hawthornepassedacoupleofwintersamongthem，andthetoneofthatsocietyisreflectedinhis"MarbleFaun。"HetookStoryasamodelforhis"Kenyon，"andwasthefirsttonotetheexoticgraceofanAmericangirlinthatstrangesetting。Theyformedastranscendentalandunworldlyagroupasevergatheredabouta"tea"table。Greatthingswereexpectedofthemandtheirinfluence，buttheydisappointedtheworld，and，withtheexceptionofHawthorne，arebeingfastforgotten。

Nothingcouldbesimplerthanlifeinthepapalcapitalinthosepleasantdays。Moneywasrare，butlivingasdelightfullyinexpensive。Itwasaboutthattime，ifIdonotmistake，thatalistwaspublishedinNewYorkofthecitizensworthonehundredthousanddollars；anditwasnotalongone!TheRomancolonytook"tea"informallywitheachother，and"received"onstatedeveningsintheirstudios(whenmulledclaretandcakesweretheonlyrefreshmentoffered；verybadtheywere，too)，andmigratedinthesummertothemountainsnearRomeortoSorrento。Inthewintermonthstheircirclewasenlargedbyacontingentfromhome。AmongwealthyNewYorkers，itwasthefashionintheearlyfiftiestopassawinterinRome，when，togetherwithhisotherdissipations，paterfamiliaswouldsittooneoftheAmericansculptorsforhisbust，whichaccountsforthehorrorsonenowrunsacrossindarkcornersofcountryhouses，-ghostlyheadsin"chinwhiskers"andRomandraperies。

Thesonofoneofthesepioneers，morerichthancultivated，noticedtheotherday，whilevisitingafriendofmine，anexquisiteeighteenth-centurybustofMadamedePompadour，theprideofhishostess"sdrawing-room。"Ah!"saidMidas，"arebuststhefashionagain？Ihaveoneofmyfather，doneinRomein1850。I

willbringitdownandputitinmyparlor。"