第5章

shewas，invitinghimtodineanddrivedaily，butwhenhebroachedthesubjectof"sitting，"was"toobusyjustthatday。"Laterintheautumnshewouldbequiteathisdisposal。Intheautumn，however，shewasvisiting，nevertendaysinthesameplace。Earlywinterfoundher"gettingherhouseinorder，"amysteriousriteapparentlyattendedwithvastworryandfatigue。Withcoolingenthusiasm，thepaintercalledandcoaxedandwaited。NovemberbroughttheoperaandthefullswingofaNewYorkseason。Sofarshehasgivenhimhalfadozensittings，squeezedinbetweenaluncheon，whichmadeher"unavoidablylate，"forwhichsheischarmingly"sorry，"andareceptionthatshewasforcedtoattend，although"itbreaksmyhearttoleavejustasyouarebeginningtoworksowell，butI

reallymust，orthetiresomeoldcatwhoisgivingtheteawillbesayingallsortsofunpleasantthingsaboutme。"Sosheflitsoff，leavingthepoor，disillusionedpainterbeforehiscanvas，knowingnowthathisdreamisover，thatinamonthortwohisprettysitterwillbeoffagaintoNewOrleansforthecarnival，orabroad，andthathiswearyroundofwaitingwillrecommence。Hewillbefortunateifsomedayitdoesnotfloatbacktohim，inthemysteriouswaydisagreeablethingsdocometoone，thatshehasbeenheardtosay，"IfeardearMr。Paletteisnotveryclever，forIhavebeensittingtohimforoverayear，andhehasreallydonenothingyet。"

Hehasbeensimplythevictimofastateofaffairsthatneitherofthemwerestrongenoughtobreakthrough。ItneverenteredintoBeauty"sheadthatshecouldleadalifedifferentfromherfriends。Shewashonestlyanxioustohaveasuccessfulportraitofherself，butthesacrificeofanyofherhabitswasmorethanshecouldmake。

Whoamongmyreaders(andIamtemptedtobelievetheyareallmoresensiblethantheaboveyoungwoman)hasnot，duringasummerpassedwithagreeablefriends，madeathousandpleasantlittleplanswiththemfortheensuingwinter，-thebookstheyweretoreadatthesametime，the"exhibitions"theyweretosee，thevisitstoourwonderfulcollectionsintheMetropolitanMuseumorprivategalleries，cosylittledinners，etc。？Andwhohasnotfound，asthewinterslipsaway，thatfewofthesecharmingplanshavebeencarriedout？Heandhisfriendshaveunconsciouslyfallenbackintotheirrutsofformeryears，andthepleasantthingsprojectedhavebeenbrushedasidebythatstrongestoftyrants，habit。

Ionceaskedaverygreatlady，whosegraciousmannerwasneverdisturbed，whofloatedthroughtheendlesscomplicationsofherlifewithsmilingserenity，howsheachievedthisOlympiancalm。

Shewasgoodenoughtoexplain。"ImakealistofwhatIwanttodoeachday。Then，asIfindmydaypassing，orIgetbehind，ortired，Ithrowovereveryotherengagement。Icouldhavedonethemallwithhurryandfatigue。Iprefertodoone-halfandenjoywhatIdo。IfIgotoahouse，itistoremainandappreciatewhateverentertainmenthasbeenpreparedforme。Ineveroffertoanyhostesstheslightofahurried，DISTRAIT"call，"withglancesatmywatch，andan"on-the-wing"manner。Itismucheasiernottogo，ortosendacard。"

ThisbringsmearoundtoasubjectwhichIbelieveisoneofthecausesofmycorrespondent"sdilemma。Ifearthatshenevercanrefuseanything。Itisapeculiartraitofpeoplewhogoabouttoamusethemselves，thattheyarealwayssuretheparticularentertainmenttheyhavebeenaskedtolastisgoingto"beamusing。"Itrarelyisdifferentfromtheothers，butthesepeopleareconvinced，thattostayawaywouldbetomisssomething。A

weary-lookinggirlabout1A。M。(atahouse-party)whenaskedwhyshedidnotgotobedifshewassotired，answered，"thenightsI

gotobedearly，theyalwaysseemtodosomethingjolly，andthenI

missit。"

Thereisnogreaterproofofhowmuchthiswearyroundwearsonwomenthantheactsofthefewwhofeelthemselvesstrongenoughintheirpositiontodefycustom。Theyhavethrownofftheyoke(atleasttheyoungeroneshave)doubtlessbackedupbytheirhusbands，formenaremuchquickertoseetheaimlessnessofthisstupidsocialroutine。FirsttheybrokedownthegreatNew-Year-call"grind。"Menoverfortydoubtlessrecallwithashudder，thatawfulcustomwhichcompelledamantogetintohisdressclothesattenA。M。，andpasshisdayrushingaboutfromhousetohouselikeapostman。Out-of-townclubsandsporthelpedtodoawaywiththatremnantofNewAmsterdam。Nextcamethemalerevoltfromtheafternoon"tea"or"musical。"Ablackcoatisrarenowateitherofthesefunctions，orifseenisprettysuretobeonabackoverfifty。Next，welordsofcreationrefusedtocallatall，orleaveourcards。Amarriedwomannowleavesherhusband"scardwithherown，andsistersleavethe"pasteboard"oftheirbrothersandoftenthoseoftheirbrothers"friends。Anycombinationisgoodenoughto"shootacard。"

InLondonthemenhavegoneastepfurther。Itisnotuncommontohearayoungmanboastthatheneverownedavisitingcardormadea"duty"callinhislife。Neithertherenorwithusdoesamancountasa"call"aquietcupofteawithawomanhelikes，andacigaretteandquiettalkuntildressingtime。Lettheyoungwomenhavecourageandtakemattersintotheirownhands。(TheolderonesarehopelessandwillgoonpushingthisJuggernautcarovereachother"swearybodies，untiltheendofthechapter。)Letthemhavethecourageoccasionallyto"refuse"something，tokeepthemselvesfreefromaimlessengagements，andbringthispaste-

boardwartoaclose。Ifawomanisattractive，shewillbeaskedoutallthesame，neverfear!Ifsheisnotpopular，thefewdozenof"egg-shellextra"thatshecanmanagetoslipinatthefrontdoorsofheracquaintanceswillnothelphermuch。

Ifthismatteris，however，sovastlyimportantinwomen"seyes，whynotadoptthecontinentalanddiplomaticcustomandsendcardsbypostorotherwise？There，ifanew-comerdinesoutandmeetstwenty-fivepeopleforthefirsttime，cardsmustbeleftthenextdayattheirtwenty-fiverespectiveresidences。Howthecardsgetthereisofnoimportance。Itisadiplomaticfictionthatthenewacquaintancehascalledinperson，andthecallwillbereturnedwithintwenty-fourhours。Thinkofthesavingoftimeandstrength!InParis，onNewYear"sDay，peoplesendcardsbyposttoeverybodytheywishtokeepup。Thatdoesforayear，andnomoreisthoughtaboutit。Allthetimethusgainedcanbegiventocultureorrecreation。

Ihaveoftenwonderedwhyoneseessofewwomenoneknowsatourpictureexhibitionsorflowershows。Itisnolongeramysterytome。Theyareallbusytrottingupanddownourlongsidestreetsleavingcards。Hideousvision!ShouldDantebyanychancereincarnate，hewouldfindherethematerialreadymadetohishandforaneighthcircleinhisINFERNO。

CHAPTER21-"LikeMasterLikeMan。"

AFREQUENTandnaivecomplaintonehears，isoftheunsatisfactorinessofservantsgenerally，andtheiringratitudeandastonishinglackofaffectionfortheirmasters，inparticular。

"AfterallIhavedoneforthem，"isprettysuretosumupthelongtaleofahousewife"sgriefs。Ofallthedelightfulinconsistenciesthatgracethefemalemind，thislatterpointofviewalwaysstrikesmeasbeingthemostcomplete。Iartfullyleadmyfairfriendontotellmeallaboutherwoes，andsheissuretobeexquisitelyone-sidedandquiteunconsciousofherposition。

"Theyaresoextravagant，takesolittleinterestinmythings，andleavemeatamoment"snotice，iftheygetanideaIamgoingtobreakup。Horridthings!IwishIcoulddowithoutthem!Theycausemeendlessworryandannoyance。"Myfriendisverynearlyright，-butwithwhomliesthefault？

Theconditionswerebadenoughyearsago，whenservantswerekeptfordecadesinthesamefamily，descendinglikeheirloomsfromfathertoson，often(abroad)beingthefostersistersorbrothersoftheirmasters，andboundtothehouseholdbyanhundredtiesofsympathyandtradition。Butinourday，andinAmerica，wherethereisrarelyevenacommonlanguageornationalitytoformabond，andwherehouseholdsarebrokenupwithsuchfacility，therelationbetweenmasterandservantisoftensostrainedandsounpleasantthatweriskbecoming(whatforeignersreproachuswithbeing)，anationofhotel-dwellers。Noristhisclass-feelinggreatlytobewonderedat。Thecontrarywouldbeastonishing。

Fromtheprimitivehousehold，whereapoorneighborcomesinas"help，"tothe"great"establishmentwherethebutlerandhousekeepereatapart，andagroupofplush-cladflunkiesimportedfromEnglandadorntheentrance-hall，nothingcouldbebettercontrivedtosetoneclassagainstanotherthandomesticservice。

Proverbshavegrownoutofitineverylanguage。"Nomanisaherotohisvalet，"and"familiaritybreedscontempt，"areclearenough。

Ourcomicpapersarefullofthemisunderstandingsandabsurditiesofthesituation，whileonerarelyseesajokemadeabouttheotherwaysthatthepoorearntheirliving。Thinkofitforamoment!

Tobeobligedtoattendpeopleatthetimesofdaywhentheyareleastattractive，whenfromfatigueortempertheydropthemaskthatsocietygluestotheirfacessomanyhoursinthetwenty-four；

toseealwaystheseamysideoflife，thesmallexpedients，theaidstonature；tostandbehindachairandhearanacquaintanceofyourmaster"sridiculed，whohasjustbeenwarmlypraisedtohisface；toseeahostesswhohasbeengraciouslyurgingherguests"nottogososoon，"blurtoutallherboredomandthankfulness"thatthosetiresomeSo-and-So"s"are"paidoffatlast，"assoonasthedoorisclosedbehindthem，mustneedsgiveacuriousbenttoaservant"smind。Theyseetheiremployersinsincere，andcopythem。Manyamistresswhohasbeensmilinglyassuredbyhermaidhowmuchherdressbecomesher，andhowyoungsheislooking，wouldbethunderstrucktohearherselflaughedatandcriticised(nonetoodelicately)fiveminuteslaterinthatservant"stalk。

Servantsaretrainedfromtheiryouthuptoconcealtheirtruefeelings。Adomesticwhosaidwhatshethoughtwouldquicklyloseherplace。Frankly，isitnotaskingagooddealtoexpectamaidtobeveryfondofaladywhomakeshersitupnightafternightuntilthesmallhourstounlaceherbodiceortakedownherhair；

orimagineavaletcanbedevotedtoamasterhehastogetintobedasbesthecanbecauseheistootipsytogetthereunaided？

Immortal"Figaro"isthetype!Supple，liar，corrupt，intelligent，-heaidshismasterandlaughsathim，featheringhisownnestthewhile。Thereisasayingthat"horsescorruptwhoeverliveswiththem。"Itwouldbemorecorrecttosaythatdomesticservicedemoralizesalikebothmasterandman。

AlreadyweareobligedtodependonimmigrationforourservantsbecauseanAmericanrevoltsfromthefalseposition，thoughhewillinglyacceptslongerhoursorharderworkwherehehasnoonearoundhimbuthisequals。Itistheoldstoryofthefree，hungrywolf，andthewell-fed，butchained，house-dog。Theforeignersthatimmigrationnowbringsus，fromcountrieswheregreatclassdistinctionsexist，finditnaturalto"serve。"Withtheincreaseineducationandconsequentself-respect，thedifficultyofgettingefficientandcontentedservantswillincreasewithus。IthasalreadybecomeagreatsocialprobleminEngland。Thetroubleliesbeneaththesurface。Ifasuperiorclassacceptserviceatall，itiswiththeintentionofquicklygettingmoneyenoughtodosomethingbetter。Withthemserviceismerelythemeanstoanend。

Afirststepontheladder!

Badmastersarethecauseofsomuchsuffering，thattoprotectthemselves，thegreatbrother-hoodofservantshaveimaginedasystemofkeepingrunof"places，"andgivingthema"character"

whichanaspirantcanfindoutwithlittletrouble。Thisorganizationissocomplete，andsowellcarriedout，thatahouseholdwheretheladyhasa"temper，"wherethefoodispoor，orwhichbreaksupoften，canrarelygetafirst-classdomestic。The"place"hasbeenboycotted，agoodservantwillsoonerremainidlethanenterit。Ifcircumstancesaretoomuchforhimandheacceptsthesituation，itiswithhiseyesopen，knowinginfinitelymoreabouthisnewemployersandtheirfailingsthantheydreamof，orthantheycouldpossiblyfindoutabouthim。

Onethingnevercanbesufficientlyimpressedonpeople，viz。:thatweareforcedtolivewithdetectives，alwaysbehindusincapsordress-suits，readytonoteeverycarelessword，everyincautiouscriticismoffriendoracquaintance-theirmoneymattersortheirloveaffairs-andwhohavenothingmoreinterestingtodothantorepeatwhattheyhaveheard，withembroideriesandadditionsoftheirown。Consideringthis，andthatninepeopleoutoftentalkquiteobliviousoftheirservants"presence，itistobewonderedatthatsolittle(andnotthatsomuch)troubleismade。

ItalwaysamusesmewhenIaskafriendifsheisgoingabroadinthespring，tohavehersay"Hush!"withafrightenedglancetowardsthedoor。

"Iam；butIdonotwanttheservantstoknow，orthehorridthingswouldleaveme!"

Poor，simplelady!Theyknewitbeforeyoudid，andhaddiscussedthewholematterovertheir"tea"whileitwasanalmostunutteredthoughtinyourmind。Iftheyhavenotalreadygivenyounotice，itisbecause，onthewholeyourhousesuitsthemwellenoughforthepresent，whiletheylookabout。Donotworryyoursimplesoul，tryingtokeepanythingfromthem。Theyknowtheamountofyourlastdressmaker"sbill，andtherowyourhusbandmadeoverit。

Theyknowhowmuchyouwouldhavelikedyoung"Croesus"foryourdaughter，andthelittletricksyouplayedtobringthatmarriageabout。TheyknowwhyyouarenolongeraskedtodineatMrs。

Swell"s，whichismorethanyouknowyourself。Mrs。Swellexplainedthemattertoafewfriendsoverherlunch-tablerecently，andthebutlertoldyourmaidthatsameevening，whowaslaughingatthestoryassheputonyourslippers!

Beforeweblamethemtoomuch，however，letusrememberthattheyhaveitintheirpowertomakegreattroubleiftheychoose。Andconsideringthelittlethatismadeinthisway，wemustconcludethat，onthewhole，theyarebetterthanwegivethemcreditforbeing，andfillatryingsituationwithmuchgoodhumorandkindliness。Theladywhoisastonishedthattheytakesolittleinterestinher，willperhapsfeeldifferentlyifshereflectshowlittletroubleshehasgivenherselftofindouttheiranxietiesandgriefs，theirtemptationsandheart-burnings；theirmaterialsituation；whomtheysupportwiththeirslowlyearnedwages，whatclaimstheyhaveonthemfromoutside。Ifshewillalsoreflectonthenumberofdaysinayearwhensheis"notherself，"whenheadachesordisappointmentsrufflehercharmingtemper，shemaycometotheconclusionthatitistoomuchtoexpectallthevirtuesfortwentydollarsamonth。

Alittlemorehumaninterest，mygoodfriends，alittlemoreindulgence，andyouwillnotriskfindingyourselfinthepositionoftheladywhowrotemethatlastsummershehadbeenobligedtokeepopenhousefor""Cook"tourists!"

CHAPTER22-AnEnglishInvasionoftheRivieraWHENsixtyyearsagoLordBrougham，ENROUTEforItaly，wasthrownfromhistravellingberlineandhislegwasbroken，neartheItalianhamletofCannes，theRivierawasasunknowntothepoliteworldasthecentreofChina。TheGRANDTOURwhicheveryyoungaristocratmadewithhistutor，oncomingofage，onlyincludedcrossingfromFranceintoItalybytheAlps。ItwastheoccurrenceofanunusuallyseverewinterinSwitzerlandthatturnedBroughamasideintothelongerandlesstravelledrouteVIAtheCorniche，themarvellousRomanroadatthattimefallenintooblivion，andlittleusedevenbythelocalpeasantry。

Duringthetediousweekswhilehislegwasmending，LordBroughamamusedhimselfbyexploringthesurroundingcountryinhiscarriage，andwasquicktorealizetheadvantagesoftheclimate，andappreciatethemarvellousbeautyofthatcoast。Beforethebrokenmemberwaswholeagain，hehadboughtatractoflandandbegunavilla。Smallseed，tofurnishsuchaharvest!Tothetravellerofto-daytheRivieraoffersanalmostunbrokenchainofbeautifulresidencesfromMarseillestoGenoa。

ABritonwillinglyfollowswherealordleads，andCannesbecamethecentreofEnglishfashion，apositionitholdsto-dayinspiteofmanyattractiverivals，andthedefectionofVictoriawhocomesnowtoCimiez，backofNice，beingunwillingtovisitCannessincethesuddendeaththereoftheDukeofAlbany。AstatueofLordBrougham，the"discoverer"ofthelittoral，hasbeenerectedinthesunnylittlesquareatCannes，andtheEnglishhaveinmanyotherways，stampedthecityfortheirown。

Nootherracecarrytheirindividualitywiththemastheydo。Theycanliveyearsinacountryandassimilatenoneofitscustoms；onthecontrary，imposinghabitsoftheirown。Itisjustthisthatmakesthemsuchwonderfulcolonizers，andexplainswhyyouwillfindlittlegroupsofEnglishpeopledrinkingaleandplayinggolfintheshadeofthePyramidsornearthefrozenslopesofFoosiyama。Therealinwardnessofitisthattheyareadullrace，and，likedullpeopledespiseallthattheydonotunderstand。Todifferfromthemistobeinthewrong。Theycannotarguewithyou；theysimplyknow，andthatendsthematter。

IhadadiscussionrecentlywithaBritononthepronunciationofaword。Asthereisno"Institute，"asinFrance，tosettlemattersofthiskind，ImaintainedthatweAmericanshadasmuchauthorityforourpronunciationofthisparticularwordastheEnglish。Theanswerwascharacteristic。

"IknowIamright，"saidmyIslandfriend，"becausethatisthewayIpronounceit!"

WalkingalongtheprincipalstreetsofCannesto-day，youmightimagineyourself(exceptfortheclimate)atCowesorBrighton，soBritisharetheshopsandthecrowdthatpassesthem。Everyrestaurantadvertises"afternoontea"andBass"sale，andeveryothersignbearsaLondonname。ThislittlematterofteaisparticularlycharacteristicofthewaytheEnglishhaveimposedatasteoftheirownonarebelliousnation。NothingisfurtherfromtheFrenchtastethantea-drinking，andyetaParisianladywillnowinviteyougravelyto"fiveo"clocker"withher，althoughIcanrememberwhenthatbeveragewasabhorredbytheFrenchasamedicine；ifyouhadaskedaFrenchmantotakeacupoftea，hewouldhaveanswered:

"Why？Iamnotill!"

EvenParis(thatsupremeandundisputedarbiteroftaste)hassubmittedtoEnglishinfluence；tailor-madedressesandlow-heeledshoeshavebecomeas"goodform"inFranceasinLondon。ThelasttwoPresidentsoftheFrenchRepublichavetakentheoathofofficedressedinfrock-coatsinsteadofthedressclothestowhichFrenchofficialsformerlyclungastothesacraments。

ThemunicipalitiesofthelittleSoutherncitieswerequicktoseizetheirgoldenopportunity，andeverythingwasdonetodetaintherichEnglishwanderingdowntowardsItaly。Millionswerespentintransformingtheircramped，dirty，littletowns。Wideboulevardsborderedwithpalmandeucalyptusspreadtheirsunnylinesinalldirections，beingbaptizedPROMENADEDESANGLAISorBOULEVARDVICTORIA，inartfulflattery。Thenarrowmountainroadswerewidened，casinosandtheatresbuiltandcarnivalFETES

organized，thecitiesoffering"cups"foryacht-orhorse-races，andgivinggroundsfortennisandgolfclubs。CleverSouthernpeople!Themoneyreturnedtothemahundredfold，andtheylivedtoseetheirwildcoastbecomethechosenresidenceofthewealthiestaristocracyinEurope，andtherockyhillsidesblossomintoterraceaboveterraceofvillagardens，wherepalmandroseandgeraniumviewiththeoliveandthemimosatoshadethewhitevillasfromthesun。To-day，nolittletownonthecoastiswithoutitsEnglishchapel，Britishclub，tennisground，andgolflinks。OnafairdayatMonteCarlo，Nice，orCannes，theprevailingconversationisinEnglish，andthehandsome，well-

dressedsonsofAlbionloungealongbesidetheirastonishingwomankindasthoroughlyathomeasonBondStreet。

ThosewonderfulEnglishwomenarethesourceofunendingmarvelandamusementtotheFrench。Theycanneverunderstandthem，andsmallwonder，forwiththeexceptionofthesmall"set"thatsurroundsthePrinceofWales，whoaredressedintheParisianfashion，allEnglishwomenseemtobeoverwhelmedwithregretatnotbeingbornmen，andtohavespenttheirtimeandingenuitysince，intryingtomakeupfornature"smistake。Everymasculinegarmentistwistedbythemtofitthefemalefigure；theirconversation，likethatoftheirbrothers，isabouthorsesanddogs；theirhatsandglovesarethesameasthemen"s；andwhenwiththeirfine，largefeetinstoutshoestheystartoff，withthatparticularswinginggaitthatmakestheskirtseemsuperfluous，forastrolloftwentymilesorso，Englishwomendoseemtotheuninitiatedtohavesucceededintheirambitionofobliteratingthedifferencebetweenthesexes。

Itisofanevening，however，whenconcealmentisnolongerpossible，thatthenativetasteburstsforth，theAnglo-Saxonstandingdeclaredinallherplainness。Strongisthecontrasthere，wheretheyareplacedsidebysidewithallthatEuropeholdsofelegant，andwell-dressedFrenchwomen，whetherofthe"world"orthe"half-world，"areinvariablymarvelsoffitnessandfreshness，thesimplestmaterialsbeingconvertedbytheirskilfultouchintotoilettes，soartfullyadaptedtothewearer"sfigureandcomplexion，astoraisesuch"creations"tothelevelofafineart。

Anartistfeels，hemustfixoncanvasthatparticularcombinationofcolorsorthatwonderfullineofbustandhip。ItiswithashudderthatheturnstotheBritishmatron，forshehasprobably，forthisoccasion，drapedherselfinan"artmaterial，"-

principally"Liberty"silksofdirtygreensandblues(aestheticshades!)。Heistemptedtocryoutinhisdisgust:"Oh，Liberty!

Liberty!Howmanycrimesarecommittedinthyname!"ItisoneoftheoddestthingsintheworldthattheEnglishshouldhaveelectedtolivesomuchinFrance，forthereareprobablynowheretwopeoplessodiametricallyopposedoneverypoint，orwhosopersistentlyandwilfullymisunderstandeachother，astheEnglishandtheFrench。

IthasbeenmyfatetoliveagooddealonbothsidesoftheChannel，andnothingismoreamusingthantoheartheabsurditiesthataregravelyassertedbyeachoftheirneighbors。ToaBriton，aFrenchmanwillalwaysbe"eithertigerormonkey"accordingtoVoltaire；whiletotheFrenchmindEnglishgravityisonlyhypocrisytocovereveryvice。NothingpleaseshimsomuchasagreatscandalinEngland；hewillgleefullybringyouapapercontainingtheaccountofit，toprovehowtrueishisopinion。ItisquiteuselesstoexplaintotheBritishmind，asIhaveoftentriedtodo，thatallFrenchmendonotpasstheirlivesdrinkingabsintheontheboulevards；andasEnglishmenseemtoleavetheirmoralsinavaliseatDoverwhenoffforavisittoParis，tobepickedupontheirreturn，itistimelosttotrytomakeaGaulunderstandwhatgoodhusbandsandfathersthesonsofAlbionare。

ThesetwogreatnationsseemtostandintherelationtoeachotherthatRomeandGreeceheld。TheEnglisharetheconquerorsoftheworld，anditsgreatcolonizers；withavastcapitalinwhichwealthandmiseryjostleeachotheronthestreets；ahideousconglomerationofbuildingsandmonuments，withoutformandvoid，verymuchasoldRomemusthavebeenundertheCaesars，enormousbuildingswithouttaste，andenormouswealth。

TheFrenchhaveinheritedthetemperamentoftheGreeks。Thedrama，painting，andsculpturearethepreoccupationofthepeople。Theyearlyexhibitionsare，foramonthbeforetheyopen，theuniquesubjectofconversationindrawing-roomorclub。Thestateprotectstheartistandbuyshiswork。TheirCONSERVATOIRESformthesingers，andtheirschoolsthepaintersandarchitectsofEuropeandAmerica。

TheEnglishcopythemintheirbigway，justastheRomanscopiedthemasterpiecesofGreekart，whiletheydespisedtheauthors。ItisrarethataplaysucceedsinPariswhichisnotinstantlytranslatedandproducedinLondon，oftenwiththeadapter"snameprintedontheprogrammeinplaceoftheauthor"s，theFrench-man，whoonlywroteit，beingignored。JustastheGreeksfadedawayanddisappearedbeforetheirRomanconquerors，itistobefearedthatinourdaythispeopleofafinerclaywillsuccumb。The"defectsoftheirqualities"willbetheirruin。Theywillstopathome，occupiedwithliteratureandart，perfectingtheirdaintycities；whiletheirtougherneighborsaredominatingtheglobe，imposingtheirlanguageandcustomsontheconqueredpeoplesortheearth。OnefeelsthisontheRiviera。

Itremindsyouofthecuckoowho，onceinstalledinarobin"snest，thatseemstohimconvenientandwarmlylocatedinthesunshine，endsbykickingoutalltheyoungrobins。

CHAPTER23-ACommonWeaknessGOVERNMENTSmaychangeandalltheconditionsoflifebemodified，butcertainambitionsandneedsofmanremainimmutable。Climates，customs，centuries，haveinnowaydiminishedthecravingforconsideration，thedesiretobesomebody，tobearsomemarkindicatingtotheworldthatoneisnotasothermen。

Forcenturiestitlessuppliedthewant。Thissatisfactionhasbeendeniedtous，soambitioussoulsareobligedtoseekothermeanstofeedtheirvanity。

Evenbeforewewerebornintotheworldofnations，anattemptwasmadeamongstthearistocraticallymindedcourtsurroundingourchiefmagistrate，toformasocietythatshould(withoutthename)

bethebeginningofaclassapart。

TheorderoftheCincinnatiwastohavebeenthenucleusofanAmericannobility。Thetendenciesofthissocietyarerevealedbythefactthatprimogeniturewasitsfundamentallaw。Nothingcouldhavebeenmoreopposedtothespiritoftheage，normoreatvariancewiththedeclarationofourindependence，thantheinsertionofsuchaclause。Thisfactwasdiscoveredbythefar-

seeingeyeofWashington，andthesocietywassuppressedinthehope(sharedbyalmostallcontemporaries)thatwithnewformsofgovernmentthenatureofmanwouldundergoatransformationandriseabovesuchpuerileambitions。

Timehasshownthefallacyofthesedreams。Allthathasbeenaccomplishedisthedisplacementoftheobjectivepoint；thedesire，themaniaforahandletoone"snameisasprevalentasever。Leavethecentresofcivilizationandwanderinthesmalltownsandvillagesofourcountry。EveryothermanyoumeetisintroducedastheColonelortheJudge，andyouwilldowellnottoinquiretoocloselyintothematter，nortoasktoseethetitle-

deedstosuchdistinctions。Ontheotherhand，toomithisprefixinaddressingoneoftheselocalmagnates，wouldbetooffendhimdeeply。Thewomen-folkwerequicktoborrowalittleofthisdistinction，andinWashingtonto-dayoneisgravelypresentedtoMrs。SenatorSmithorMrs。ColonelJones。Theclimaxbeingreachedbyoneaspiringfemalewhostylesherselfonhervisitingcards，"Mrs。Acting-Assistant-PaymasterRobinson。"Ifbyanychanceitshouldoccurtoanyonetoaskhermotiveinsportingsuchanunwieldyhandle，shewouldsaythatshedidit"becauseonecan"tbegoingaboutexplainingthatoneisnotjustordinaryMrs。

RobinsonorThompson，likethethousandothersintown。"Awomanwhocannotfindanexcuseforassumingsuchaprefixwillsometimehaverecoursetoanotherstratagem，toparticularizeanordinarysurname。Sheremembersthatherhusband，whoeversincehewasbornhasbeenknowntoeverybodyasJim，istheproudpossessorofthemiddlenameIvanhoe，orPericles(probablytheresultofaromanticmother"sreading)；soonefinedaytheyoungcouplebloomoutasMr。andMrs。J。PericlesSparks，totheamusementoftheirfriends，theirownsatisfaction，andthehopelessconfusionoftheirtradespeople。

NotlongagoaWesterner，whowentabroadwithatravellingshow，wasreceivedwithenthusiasminEnglandbecauseitwasthought"TheHonorable"whichprecededhisnameonhiscardsimpliedthatalthoughanAmericanhewassomehowthesonofanearl。Asamatteroffactheowedthistitletohavingsat，manyyearsbeforeintheSenateofafar-westernState。Hewillclingtothat"Honorable"andprintitonhiscardswhilelifelasts。IwastoldtheotherdayofanAmericancarpetwarriorwhoappearedatcourtfunctionabroaddecoratedwitheverycollegebadge，andfootballmedalinhispossession，towhichheaddedatthelastmomentabrasstrunkcheck，tocompletethebrilliancyoftheeffect。ThislatterdecorationattractedtheattentionoftheHeirApparent，whoinquiredthemeaningofthemystic"416"uponit。Thiswouldhavebeena"facer"toanybutatruesonofUncleSam。Nothingdaunted，however，our"General"replied"That，Sir，isthenumberofpitchedbattlesIhavewon。"

Ihavemydoubtsastotheabsoluteveracityofthistale。Butthatthesonofoneofourgenerals，appearednotlongagoatapublicreceptionabroad，wearinghisfather"smedalsanddecorations，issaidtobetrue。DecorationsontheContinentareofficialbadgesofdistinctionconferredandrecognizedbythedifferentgovernments。AnAmericanwhowears，outofhisowncountry，anarmyorcollegebadgewhichhasnoofficialexistence，properlyspeaking，beingrecognizedbynogovernment，butwhichismadeintentionallytolookasmuchaspossiblelikethe"Legiond"Honneur，"isdeliberatelyimposingontheignoranceofforeigners，andisbutlittlelessofapretentiousidiotthantheownersofthetrunkcheckandtheborroweddecorations。

Thereseemsnoendtothewaysalittleambitiousgamecanbeplayed。Onedevicemuchinfavorisforthewifetoattachherownfamilynametothatofherhusbandbymeansofahyphen。Bythisarrangementshedoesnotentirelyloseherindividuality；asaresultwehaveasplendidassortmentofhybridnames，suchasVanCortland-SmithandBeekman-Brown。Betheyneversoincongruousthesedouble-barrelledcognomensservetheirpurposeandraiseambitiousmortalsabovethelevelofotherSmithsandBrowns。

Findingthatthisarrangementworkswellintheirowncase，itispassedontothenextgeneration。TherearenomoreTomsandBillsintheseaspiringdays。ThelittleboysareallCadwalladersorCarrolls。Theirschool-fellows，however，worksadhavocwiththesehigh-soundingtitlesandquicklyabbreviatethemintohumble"Cad"

or"Rol。"

Itissurprisingtonoticewhatanumberofmiddle-agedgentlemenhaveblossomedoutoflatewithdecorationsintheirbutton-holesaccordingtotheforeignfashion。OninquiryIhavediscoveredthattheseornamentsdesignatemembersoftheG。A。R。，theLoyalLegion，orsomelocalPost，fortherosettesdifferinformandcolor。Whenthesegentlementravelabroad，toreducetheirwaistsorimprovetheirminds，theeffectsonthehotelwaitersandcabmenmustbeimmense。Theywillbechargedthreetimestheordinarytariffinsteadofonlythedoublewhichisthestranger"susualfateatthehandsofsimple-mindedforeigners。Thesatisfactionmustbecheap，however，atthatprice。

Evenourwisemenandsagesdonotseemtohaveescapedthecontagion。Oneseesprofessorsandclergymen(whooughttosetabetterexample)trailinghalfadozenlettersaftertheirnames，initialswhichtotheinitiateddoubtlessmeansomething，butwhicharealsointendedtofillthesoulsoftheignorantwithenvy。I

canrecallbutonecaseofaforeigndecorationbeingrefusedbyacompatriot。Hewasageniusandweallknowthatgeniusesarecrazy。ThisgentlemanhaddonesomethingparticularlygratifyingtoanEasternpotentate，whoinreturnofferedhimoneofhissecond-bestorders。Itwasatoncerefused。Whenurgedonhimasecondtimeourcountrymanlosthistemperandanswered，"Ifyouwanttogiveittosomebody，presentittomyvalet。Heismostanxioustobedecorated。"Anditwasdone!

Itdoesnotrequireadeeplymeditativemindtodiscoverthemotivesofambitiousstruggles。Thefirstandstrongestillusionofthehumanmindistobelievethatwearedifferentfromourfellows，andournaturalimpulseistotryandimpressthisbeliefuponothers。

Prideofbirthisbutoneofthemanifestationsoftheuniversalweakness-invariablytakingstrongerandstrongerholdofthepeople，whofromthemodestdimensionoftheirincome，orotheruntowardcircumstances，canfindnooutwardandvisibleformwithwhichtodazzletheworld。Youwillfindthatadesiretoshineisthesecretofmostofthetipsandpresentsthataregivenwhiletravellingorvisiting，fortheycanhardlybeattributedtopurespontaneousgenerosity。

Howmanypeopledoesonemeetwhotalkoftheirpoorandunsuccessfulrelativeswhileomittingtomentionrichandpowerfulconnections？Wearetoldthatfarfromblamingsuchatendencywearetoadmireit。Thatitisproperpridetoputone"sbestfootforwardandkeepanoffendingmemberwelloutofsight，thatthemanwhowearsarosetteinthebutton-holeofhiscoatandhashalfthealphabetgallopingafterhisname，isanhonortohisfamily。

Farbeitfrommetoderidethisweaknessinothers，forinmyheartIampersuadedthatifIlivedinChina，nothingwouldpleasememorethantohavemycapadornedwithacoralbutton，whileiffatehadcastmylifeinthepleasantplacesofcentralAfrica，aringinmynosewoulddoubtlesshavefilledmysoulwithjoy。ThefactthatIsharethisweaknessdoesnot，however，preventmylaughingatsuchfollyinothers。

CHAPTER24-ChangingParisPARISisbeginningtoshowsignsofthecoming"Exhibitionof1900，"andisinmanywaysgoingthroughacuriousstageoftransformation，sociallyaswellasmaterially。ThePALAISDE

L"INDUSTRIE，familiartoallvisitorshere，asthehomeoftheSALONS，theHorseShows，andathousandgayFETESandmerry-

makings，isbeingtorndowntomakewayforthenewavenueleading，withthebridgeAlexanderIII。，fromtheChampsElyseestotheEsplanadedesInvalides。ThisthoroughfarewiththegildeddomeofNapoleon"stombtocloseitsperspectiveisintendedtobethefeatureofthecoming"show。"

Curiousironyofthingsinthisworld!ThePALAISDEL"INDUSTRIE

wasintendedtobetheonepermanentbuildingoftheexhibitionof1854。Anold"Journal"Ioftenreadtellshowthewritersawthelonglineofgildedcoaches(borrowedfromVersaillesfortheoccasion)，eighthorsesapiece，ledbyfootmen-horsesandmenblazinginembroideredtrappings-leavetheTuileriesandproceedatawalktothegreatgatewayofthenowdisappearingpalace。

VictoriaandAlbertwhowereonanofficialvisittotheEmperorwerethefirsttoalight；thenEugenieintheradianceofherperfectbeautysteppedfromthecoach(sadomen!)thatfiftyyearsbeforehadtakenJosephineintearstoMalmaison。

ItmayinterestsomeladiestoknowhowanEmpresswasdressedonthatspringmorningforty-fouryearsago。Sheworerose-coloredsilkwithanover-dress(Ithinkthatiswhatitiscalled)ofblacklaceflounces，immensehoops，andablackCHANTILLYlaceshawl。Herhair，abrilliantgoldenauburn，wasdressedlowonthetemples，coveringtheears，andhungdownherbackinagoldnetalmosttoherwaist；attheextremebackofherheadwasplacedablackandrose-coloredbonnet；open"flowing"sleevesshowedherbarearms，one-buttoned，straw-coloredgloves，andrubybracelets；

shecarriedatinyrose-coloredparasolnotafootindiameter。

HowEngland"sgreatsovereignwasdressedthewriterofthejournaldoesnotsowellremember，forinthosedaysEugeniewasthecynosureofalleyes，andpeoplerarelylookedatanythingelsewhentheycouldgetaglimpseofherlovelyface。

Itappears，however，thattheQueensportedanIndiashawl，hoops，andagreenbonnet，whichwasnotparticularlybecomingtoherredface。SheandNapoleonenteredthebuildingfirst；theEmpress(whowasindelicatehealth)wascarriedinanopenchair，withPrinceAlbertwalkingatherside，amarvellouslyhandsomecoupletofollowthetwodowdylittlesovereignswhoprecededthem。ThewriterhadbybriberysucceededingettingplacesinanENTRESOL

windowunderthearchway，andwasgreatlyimpressedtoseethosefourgreatoneslaughingandjokingtogetheroverEugenie"stroubleingettingherhoopsintothenarrowchair!

Whatchangeshavecometothatlaughinggroup!Twoaredead，onedyinginexileanddisgrace；anditwouldbehardtofindinthetworheumaticoldladieswhomoneseespotteringabouttheRivieranow，anytraceofthosesmilingwives。InFranceitisasifatidalwavehadsweptoverNapoleon"scourt。OnlytheoldpalacestoodseverelybackfromtheChampsElysees，asifguardingitssouvenirs。Thepickofthemasonhasbroughtdowntheproudgatewaywhichitsimperialbuilderfondlyimaginedwastolastforages。TheTuileriesprecededitintooblivion。TheAlphaandOmegaofthatgorgeouspageantofthefiftiesvanishedlikeamirage!

ItisnotherealoneonefindsParischanging。ArailwayisbeingbroughtalongthequaiswithitsdepotattheInvalides。AnotheristofinditsterminusoppositetheLouvre，wherethepicturesqueruinoftheCourdesCompteshasstoodhalf-hiddenbythetreessince1870。AlineofelectriccarscrossestheRondPoint，inspiteoftheoppositionofalltheneighborhood，anxioustokeep，atleastthatfineperspectivefreefromsuchdesecration。And，lastbutnotleast，thereiseveryprospectofanimmensesystemofelevatedrailwaysbeinginauguratedinconnectionwiththecomingworld"sfair。ThedirectionofthiskindofimprovementisentirelyinthehandsoftheMunicipalCouncil，andthatbodyhasbecome(hereinParis)extremelyradical，nottosaycommunistic；

andtakespleasureinannoyingtheinhabitantsofthericherquartersofthecity，underpretextofimprovementsandfacilitiesofcirculation。

Itiseasytoseehowstrongthefeelingisagainstthearistocraticclass。Norisitmuchtobewonderedat!Thearistocracyseemtotrytomakethemselvesunpopular。Theydetesttherepublic，whichhasshornthemoftheirsplendor，anddoeverythingintheirpower(sociallyanddiplomaticallytheirpowerisstillgreat)tointerferewithandfrustratetheplansofthegovernment。OnlylastyeartheyseizedanopportunityatthefuneralsoftheDuchessed"AlenconandtheDucd"Aumaletomakearoyalistmanifestationofthemostpronouncedcharacter。TheyoungDuchessed"Orleanswaspubliclyspokenofandtreatedasthe"QueenofFrance；"attheprivatereceptionsgivenduringherstayinParisthesameceremonialwasobservedasifshehadbeenreallyonthethrone。TheyoungDuke，herhusband，wasnotpresent，beinginexileasapretender，butarmorialbearingsofthe"reigningfamily，"astheirfollowersinsistoncallingthem，werehungaroundtheMadeleineandonthefuneral-carsofboththeillustriousdead。

Thegovernmentissingularlylenienttothearistocrats。Ifapoormancries"LonglivetheCommune!"inthestreet，heisarrested。

Thepolice，however，stoodquietlybyandletagroupoftheoldnobilityshout"LonglivetheQueen!"asthetraincontainingtheyoungDuchessed"Orleansmovedoutofthestation。Thesecretofthisleniencytowardthe"pretenders"tothethrone，isthattheyareverylittlefeared。Ifitamusesasetofwealthypeopletoplayatholdingacourt，thestronggovernmentoftherepubliccaresnotonejot。TheOrleansfamilyhaveneverbeenpopularinFrance，andtheyoungpretender"smarriagetoanAustrianArchduchesslastyearhasnotimprovedmatters。

ItisthefashionintheconservativeFaubourgSt。Germain，toridiculethePresident，hiswifeandtheirbourgeoissurroundings，asfortyyearsagotheparentsofthesearistocratsaffectedtodespisetheimperialPARVENUS。TheswellsamusedthemselvesduringtheofficialvisitoftheEmperorandEmpressofRussialastyear(whichwasgallandwormwoodtothem)byexaggeratingandrepeatingallthesmallslipsinetiquettethatthePresident，anintelligent，butsimple-manneredgentleman，wassupposedtohavemadeduringthesojournofhisimperialguests。

BothM。andMme。Faureareextremelypopularwiththepeople，andareheartilycheeredwhenevertheyareseeninpublic。ThePresidentisthedespairoftheloversofroutineandetiquette，walkinginandoutofhisPalaisoftheElysee，likeaprivateindividual，andbreakingallrulesandregulations。Heisfondofriding，andjogsofftotheBoisofamorningwithnoescort，andoftenofaneveningdropsinatthetheatresinacasualway。TheothernightattheFrancaishesuddenlyappearedintheFOYERDES

ARTISTES(Abeautifulgreenroom，hungwithhistoricalportraitsofgreatactorsandactresses，oneofthepridesofthetheatre)inthisinformalmanner。Mme。Bartet，whohappenedtobetherealoneatthetime，wassoimpressedatsuchanunprecedentedeventthatshefainted，andthePresidenthadtorunforwaterandhelpreviveher。ThenextdayhesentthegreatactressabeautifulvaseofSevreschina，fullofwater，insouvenir。

ToaloverofoldthingsandoldwaysanychangesintheParishehasknownandlovedareasadtrial。HenriDrumont，inhisdelightfulMONVIEUXPARIS，deploresthismodernmaniaforreformwhichhasdonesuchgoodworkinthenewquartersbutshould，hethinks，respectthehistoricstreetsandshadysquares。

Onenaturallyfeelsthatthesightsfamiliarinyouthlosebybeingtransformedanddoubtsthenecessityofsuchimprovements。

TheRomeofmychildhoodisnomore!HalfofCairowasruthlesslytransformedinsixty-fiveintoahideouscaricatureofmodernParis。Milanhasbeenremodelled，eachcitylosingincharmasitgainedinconvenience。

SofarParishasheldherown。Thespiritofthecityhasnotbeenlost，asintheothercapitals。ThefairmetropolisofFrance，inspiteofmanytransformations，stillholdsheradmirerswithadominatingsway。Shepoursoutforthemastrongelixirthatoncetastedtakestheflavoroutofexistenceinothercitiesandmakesheradorers，wheninexile，thirstforanotherdraughtofthesubtlenectar。

CHAPTER25-ContentmentAStheresultofcertainidealstandardsadoptedamonguswhenthiscountrywasstillinlongclothes，atimewhentheequalityofmanwasthenew"fad"ofmanynations，andtheprizesoflifefirstcamewithinthereachofthosefortunateorunscrupulousenoughtoseizethem，itbecamethefashion(andhasremainedsodowntoourday)toteacheverylittleboyattendingavillageschooltolookuponhimselfasapossiblefuturePresident，andtoassumethateverygirlwaspreparingherselfforthepositionoffirstladyintheland。Thisisverywellintheory，andpracticehasshownthat，asNapoleonsaid，"Everyprivatemaycarryamarshal"sbatoninhisknapsack。"Alongsideofthegoodsuchincentivemayproduce，itisonlyfair，however，toconsideralsohowmuchharmmaylieinthiswayofpresentinglifetoachild"smind。

AsafirstresultofsuchtalltalkingwefindinAmerica，morethaninanyothercountry，aninclinationamongallclassestoleavethesurroundingswheretheywerebornandbendtheirenergiestostrugglingoutofthepositioninlifeoccupiedbytheirparents。Therearenotwantingtheoristswhoholdthatthisisaqualityinanation，andthatitleadstogreatresults。A

propositionopentodiscussion。

Itisdoubtlesssatisfactorytodesignatefirstmagistrateswhohaveraisedthemselvesfromhumblebeginningstothatproudposition，andtherearetimeswhenitispropertorecallsuchachievementstotherisinggeneration。Butasyouthisproverbiallyover-confidentitmightalsobewelltopointout，withoutdangerofdiscouragingoursanguineyoungsters，thatforonewhohassucceeded，abouttenmillionconfidentAmericanyouths，fullofambitionandloftyaims，havebeenobligedtocontentthemselveswithbeinghonestmeninhumblepositions，evenastheirfathersbeforethem。Asadhumiliation，Igrantyou，foraself-

respectingcitizen，toendlifejustwherehisfatherdid；oftenthecase，nevertheless，inthishardworld，wheresomanyfinequalitiesgounappreciated，-nosocietieshavingasyetbeenformedtoseekout"mute，ingloriousMiltons，"andasktocrownthem!