第3章

Onedayabenevolentphysician(whohadreadthebooks)havingfoundastraypoodlesufferingfromabrokenleg，conveyedthepoorcreaturetohishome，andaftersettingandbandagingtheinjuredlimbgavethelittleoutcastitslibertyagain，andthoughtnomoreaboutthematter。

Buthowgreatwashissurprise，uponopeninghisdooronemorning，somedayslater，tofindthegratefulpoodlepatientlywaitingthere，andinitscompanyanotherstraydog，oneofwhoselegs，bysomeaccident，hadbeenbroken。Thekindphysicianatoncerelievedthedistressedanimal，nordidheforgettoadmiretheinscrutablegoodnessandmercyofGod，whohadbeenwillingtousesohumbleaninstrumentasthepooroutcastpoodlefortheinculcatingof，etc。，etc。，etc。

SEQUEL

Thenextmorningthebenevolentphysicianfoundthetwodogs，beamingwithgratitude，waitingathisdoor，andwiththemtwootherdogs-cripples。Thecrippleswerespeedilyhealed，andthefourwenttheirway，leavingthebenevolentphysicianmoreovercomebypiouswonderthanever。Thedaypassed，themorningcame。Thereatthedoorsatnowthefourreconstructeddogs，andwiththemfourothersrequiringreconstruction。Thisdayalsopassed，andanothermorningcame；andnowsixteendogs，eightofthemnewlycrippled，occupiedthesidewalk，andthepeopleweregoingaround。Bynoonthebrokenlegswereallset，butthepiouswonderinthegoodphysician"sbreastwasbeginningtogetmixedwithinvoluntaryprofanity。Thesunroseoncemore，andexhibitedthirty-twodogs，sixteenofthemwithbrokenlegs，occupyingthesidewalkandhalfofthestreet；thehumanspectatorstookuptherestoftheroom。Thecriesofthewounded，thesongsofthehealedbrutes，andthecommentsoftheonlookingcitizensmadegreatandinspiringcheer，buttrafficwasinterruptedinthatstreet。Thegoodphysicianhiredacoupleofassistantsurgeonsandgotthroughhisbenevolentworkbeforedark，firsttakingtheprecautiontocancelhischurch-membership，sothathemightexpresshimselfwiththelatitudewhichthecaserequired。

Butsomethingshavetheirlimits。Whenoncemorethemorningdawned，andthegoodphysicianlookedoutuponamassedandfar-reachingmultitudeofclamorousandbeseechingdogs，hesaid，"Imightaswellacknowledgeit，Ihavebeenfooledbythebooks；theyonlytelltheprettypartofthestory，andthenstop。Fetchmetheshotgun；thisthinghasgonealongfarenough。"

Heissuedforthwithhisweapon，andchancedtostepuponthetailoftheoriginalpoodle，whopromptlybithimintheleg。Nowthegreatandgoodworkwhichthispoodlehadbeenengagedinhadengenderedinhimsuchamightyandaugmentingenthusiasmastoturnhisweakheadatlastanddrivehimmad。Amonthlater，whenthebenevolentphysicianlayinthedeath-throesofhydrophobia，hecalledhisweepingfriendsabouthim，andsaid:

"Bewareofthebooks。Theytellbuthalfofthestory。Wheneverapoorwretchasksyouforhelp，andyoufeeladoubtastowhatresultmayflowfromyourbenevolence，giveyourselfthebenefitofthedoubtandkilltheapplicant。"

Andsosayingheturnedhisfacetothewallandgaveuptheghost。

THEBENEVOLENTAUTHOR

Apoorandyoungliterarybeginnerhadtriedinvaintogethismanuscriptsaccepted。Atlast，whenthehorrorsofstarvationwerestaringhimintheface，helaidhissadcasebeforeacelebratedauthor，beseechinghiscounselandassistance。Thisgenerousmanimmediatelyputasidehisownmattersandproceededtoperuseoneofthedespisedmanuscripts。Havingcompletedhiskindlytask，heshookthepooryoungmancordiallybythehand，saying，"Iperceivemeritinthis；comeagaintomeonMonday。"Atthetimespecified，thecelebratedauthor，withasweetsmile，butsayingnothing，spreadopenamagazinewhichwasdampfromthepress。Whatwasthepooryoungman"sastonishmenttodiscoverupontheprintedpagehisownarticle。"HowcanIever，"saidhe，fallinguponhiskneesandburstingintotears，"testifymygratitudeforthisnobleconduct!"

ThecelebratedauthorwastherenownedSnodgrass；thepooryoungbeginnerthusrescuedfromobscurityandstarvationwastheafterwardequallyrenownedSnagsby。Letthispleasingincidentadmonishustoturnacharitableeartoallbeginnersthatneedhelp。

SEQUEL

ThenextweekSnagsbywasbackwithfiverejectedmanuscripts。Thecelebratedauthorwasalittlesurprised，becauseinthebookstheyoungstrugglerhadneededbutonelift，apparently。However，heplowedthroughthesepapers，removingunnecessaryflowersanddiggingupsomeacresofadjectivestumps，andthensucceededingettingtwoofthearticlesaccepted。

Aweekorsodriftedby，andthegratefulSnagsbyarrivedwithanothercargo。Thecelebratedauthorhadfeltamightyglowofsatisfactionwithinhimselfthefirsttimehehadsuccessfullybefriendedthepooryoungstruggler，andhadcomparedhimselfwiththegenerouspeopleinthebookswithhighgratification；buthewasbeginningtosuspectnowthathehadstruckuponsomethingfreshinthenoble-episodeline。Hisenthusiasmtookachill。Still，hecouldnotbeartorepulsethisstrugglingyoungauthor，whoclungtohimwithsuchprettysimplicityandtrustfulness。

Well，theupshotofitallwasthatthecelebratedauthorpresentlyfoundhimselfpermanentlyfreightedwiththepooryoungbeginner。Allhismildeffortstounloadthiscargowentfornothing。Hehadtogivedailycounsel，dailyencouragement；hehadtokeeponprocuringmagazineacceptances，andthenrevampingthemanuscriptstomakethempresentable。

Whentheyoungaspirantgotastartatlast，herodeintosuddenfamebydescribingthecelebratedauthor"sprivatelifewithsuchacaustichumorandsuchminutenessofblisteringdetailthatthebooksoldaprodigiousedition，andbrokethecelebratedauthor"sheartwithmortification。

Withhislatestgasphesaid，"Alas，thebooksdeceivedme；theydonottellthewholestory。Bewareofthestrugglingyoungauthor，myfriends。

WhomGodseesfittostarve，letnotmanpresumptuouslyrescuetohisownundoing。"

THEGRATEFULHUSBAND

Onedayaladywasdrivingthroughtheprincipalstreetofagreatcitywithherlittleboy，whenthehorsestookfrightanddashedmadlyaway，hurlingthecoachmanfromhisboxandleavingtheoccupantsofthecarnageparalyzedwithterror。Butabraveyouthwhowasdrivingagrocery-wagonthrewhimselfbeforetheplunginganimals，andsucceededinarrestingtheirflightattheperilofhisown——[Thisisprobablyamisprint-M。T。]——Thegratefulladytookhisnumber，anduponarrivingatherhomesherelatedtheheroicacttoherhusband(whohadreadthebooks)，wholistenedwithstreamingeyestothemovingrecital，andwho，afterreturningthanks，inconjunctionwithhisrestoredlovedones，toHimwhosufferethnotevenasparrowtofalltothegroundunnoticed，sentforthebraveyoungperson，and，placingacheckforfivehundreddollarsinhishand，said，"Takethisasarewardforyournobleact，WilliamFerguson，andifeveryoushallneeda，friend，rememberthatThompsonMcSpaddenhasagratefulheart。"Letuslearnfromthisthatagooddeedcannotfailtobenefitthedoer，howeverhumblehemaybe。

SEQUEL

WilliamFergusoncalledthenextweekandaskedMr。McSpaddentousehisinfluencetogethimahigheremployment，hefeelingcapableofbetterthingsthandrivingagrocer"swagon。Mr。McSpaddengothimanunderclerkshipatagoodsalary。

PresentlyWilliamFerguson"smotherfellsick，andWilliam——Well，tocutthestoryshort，Mr。McSpaddenconsentedtotakeherintohishouse。

Beforelongsheyearnedforthesocietyofheryoungerchildren；soMaryandJuliawereadmittedalso，andlittleJimmy，theirbrother。Jimmyhadapocketknife，andhewanderedintothedrawing-roomwithitoneday，alone，andreducedtenthousanddollars"worthoffurnituretoanindeterminablevalueinratherlessthanthree-quartersofanhour。

Adayortwolaterhefelldown-stairsandbrokehisneck，andseventeenofhisfamily"srelativescametothehousetoattendthefuneral。Thismadethemacquainted，andtheykeptthekitchenoccupiedafterthat，andlikewisekepttheMcSpaddensbusyhunting-upsituationsofvarioussortsforthem，andhuntingupmorewhentheyworetheseout。Theoldwomandrankagooddealandsworeagooddeal；butthegratefulMcSpaddensknewitwastheirdutytoreformher，consideringwhathersonhaddoneforthem，sotheyclavenoblytotheirgeneroustask。Williamcameoftenandgotdecreasingsumsofmoney，andaskedforhigherandmorelucrativeemployments——whichthegratefulMcSpaddenmoreorlesspromptlyprocuredforhim。McSpaddenconsentedalso，aftersomedemur，tofitWilliamforcollege；butwhenthefirstvacationcameandtheherorequestedtobesenttoEuropeforhishealth，thepersecutedMcSpaddenroseagainstthetyrantandrevolted。Heplainlyandsquarelyrefused。WilliamFerguson"smotherwassoastoundedthatshelethergin-bottledrop，andherprofanelipsrefusedtodotheiroffice。Whensherecoveredshesaidinahalf-gasp，"Isthisyourgratitude？Wherewouldyourwifeandboybenow，butformyson？"

Williamsaid，"Isthisyourgratitude？DidIsaveyourwife"slifeornot？Tellmethat!"

Sevenrelationsswarmedinfromthekitchenandeachsaid，"Andthisishisgratitude!"

William"ssistersstared，bewildered，andsaid，"Andthisishisgrat——"

butwereinterruptedbytheirmother，whoburstintotearsandexclaimed，"TothinkthatmysaintedlittleJimmythrewawayhislifeintheserviceofsuchareptile!"

ThenthepluckoftherevolutionaryMcSpaddenrosetotheoccasion，andherepliedwithfervor，"Outofmyhouse，thewholebeggarlytribeofyou!Iwasbeguiledbythebooks，butshallneverbebeguiledagain——onceissufficientforme。"AndturningtoWilliamheshouted，"Yes，youdidsavemy，wife"slife，andthenextmanthatdoesitshalldieinhistracks!"

Notbeingaclergyman，Iplacemytextattheendofmysermoninsteadofatthebeginning。Hereitis，fromMr。NoahBrooks"sRecollectionsofPresidentLincolninScribnersMonthly:

J。H。Hackett，inhispartofFalstaff，wasanactorwhogaveMr。

Lincolngreatdelight。Withhisusualdesiretosignifytoothershissenseofobligation，Mr。Lincolnwroteageniallittlenotetotheactorexpressinghispleasureatwitnessinghisperformance。

Mr。Hackett，inreply，sentabookofsomesort；perhapsitwasoneofhisownauthorship。HealsowroteseveralnotestothePresident。Onenight，quitelate，whentheepisodehadpassedoutofmymind，IwenttothewhiteHouseinanswertoamessage。

PassingintothePresident"soffice，Inoticed，tomysurprise，Hackettsittingintheanteroomasifwaitingforanaudience。ThePresidentaskedmeifanyonewasoutside。Onbeingtold，hesaid，halfsadly，"Oh，Ican"tseehim，Ican"tseehim；Iwasinhopeshehadgoneaway。"Thenheadded，"Nowthisjustillustratesthedifficultyofhavingpleasantfriendsandacquaintancesinthisplace。YouknowhowIlikedHackettasanactor，andhowIwrotetotellhimso。Hesentmethatbook，andthereIthoughtthematterwouldend。Heisamasterofhisplaceintheprofession，I

suppose，andwellfixedinit；butjustbecausewehadalittlefriendlycorrespondence，suchasanytwomenmighthave，hewantssomething。Whatdoyousupposehewants？"Icouldnotguess，andMr。Lincolnadded，"well，hewantstobeconsultoLondon。Oh，dear!"

Iwillobserve，inconclusion，thattheWilliamFergusonincidentoccurred，andwithinmypersonalknowledge——thoughIhavechangedthenatureofthedetails，tokeepWilliamfromrecognizinghimselfinit。

AllthereadersofthisarticlehaveinsomesweetandgushinghouroftheirlivesplayedtheroleofMagnanimous-Incidenthero。IwishIknewhowmanythereareamongthemwhoarewillingtotalkaboutthatepisodeandliketoberemindedoftheconsequencesthatflowedfromit。

PUNCH，BROTHERS，PUNCH

Willthereaderpleasetocasthiseyeoverthefollowinglines，andseeifhecandiscoveranythingharmfulinthem？

Conductor，whenyoureceiveafare，Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，Abufftripslipforasix-centfare，Apinktripslipforathree-cent，fare，Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

CHORUS

Punch，brothers!punchwithcare!

Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

Icameacrossthesejinglingrhymesinanewspaper，alittlewhileago，andreadthemacoupleoftimes。Theytookinstantandentirepossessionofme。Allthroughbreakfasttheywentwaltzingthroughmybrain；andwhen，atlast，Irolledupmynapkin，IcouldnottellwhetherIhadeatenanythingornot。Ihadcarefullylaidoutmyday"sworkthedaybefore——thrillingtragedyinthenovelwhichIamwriting。Iwenttomydentobeginmydeedofblood。Itookupmypen，butallIcouldgetittosaywas，"Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。"Ifoughthardforanhour，butitwasuseless。Myheadkepthumming，"Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，abufftripslipforasix-centfare，"andsoonandsoon，withoutpeaceorrespite。Theday"sworkwasruined——Icouldseethatplainlyenough。Igaveupanddrifteddown-town，andpresentlydiscoveredthatmyfeetwerekeepingtimetothatrelentlessjingle。

WhenIcouldstanditnolongerIalteredmystep。Butitdidnogood；

thoserhymesaccommodatedthemselvestothenewstepandwentonharassingmejustasbefore。Ireturnedhome，andsufferedalltheafternoon；sufferedallthroughanunconsciousandunrefreshingdinner；

suffered，andcried，andjingledallthroughtheevening；wenttobedandrolled，tossed，andjingledrightalong，thesameasever；gotupatmidnightfrantic，andtriedtoread；buttherewasnothingvisibleuponthewhirlingpageexcept"Punch!punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。"BysunriseIwasoutofmymind，andeverybodymarveledandwasdistressedattheidioticburdenofmyravings——""Punch!oh，punch!

punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!"

Twodayslater，onSaturdaymorning，Iarose，atotteringwreck，andwentforthtofulfilanengagementwithavaluedfriend，theRev。Mr——，towalktotheTalcottTower，tenmilesdistant。Hestaredatme，butaskednoquestions。Westarted。Mr——talked，talked，talkedasishiswont。Isaidnothing；Iheardnothing。Attheendofamile，Mr——said"Mark，areyousick？Ineversawamanlooksohaggardandwornandabsent-minded。Saysomething，do!"

Drearily，withoutenthusiasm，Isaid:"Punchbrothers，punchwithcare!

Punchinthepresenceothepassenjare!"

Myfriendeyedmeblankly，lookedperplexed，theysaid:

"IdonotthinkIgetyourdrift，Mark。Thendoesnotseemtobeanyrelevancyinwhatyouhavesaid，certainlynothingsad；andyet——maybeitwasthewayyousaidthewords——Ineverheardanythingthatsoundedsopathetic。Whatis——"

ButIheardnomore。Iwasalreadyfarawaywithmypitiless，heartbreaking"bluetripslipforaneight-centfare，bufftripslipforasix-centfare，pinktripslipforathree-centfare；punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。"Idonotknowwhatoccurredduringtheotherninemiles。However，allofasuddenMr——laidhishandonmyshoulderandshouted:

"Oh，wakeup!wakeup!wakeup!Don"tsleepallday!HereweareattheTower，man!Ihavetalkedmyselfdeafanddumbandblind，andnevergotaresponse。Justlookatthismagnificentautumnlandscape!Lookatit!lookatit!Feastyoureyeonit!Youhavetraveled；youhaveseenboasterlandscapeselsewhere。Come，now，deliveranhonestopinion。

Whatdoyousaytothis？"

Isighedwearily；andmurmured:

"Abufftripslipforasix-centfare，apinktripslipforathree-centfare，punchinthepresenceofthpassenjare。"

Rev。Mr——stoodthere，verygrave，fullofconcern，apparently，andlookedlongatme；thenhesaid:

"Mark，thereissomethingaboutthisthatIcannotunderstand。Thoseareaboutthesamewordsyousaidbefore；theredoesnotseemtobeanythinginthem，andyettheynearlybreakmyheartwhenyousaythem。Punchinthe——howisittheygo？"

Ibeganatthebeginningandrepeatedallthelines。

Myfriend"sfacelightedwithinterest。Hesaid:

"Why，whatacaptivatingjingleitis!Itisalmostmusic。Itflowsalongsonicely。Ihavenearlycaughttherhymesmyself。Saythemoverjustoncemore，andthenI"llhavethem，sure。"

Isaidthemover。ThenMr——saidthem。Hemadeonelittlemistake，whichIcorrected。Thenexttimeandthenexthegotthemright。Nowagreatburdenseemedtotumblefrommyshoulders。Thattorturingjingledepartedoutofmybrain，andagratefulsenseofrestandpeacedescendeduponme。Iwaslight-heartedenoughtosing；andI

didsingforhalfanhour，straightalong，aswewentjogginghomeward。

Thenmyfreedtonguefoundblessedspeechagain，andthepenttalkofmanyawearyhourbegantogushandflow。Itflowedonandon，joyously，jubilantly，untilthefountainwasemptyanddry。AsIwrungmyfriend"shandatparting，Isaid:

"Haven"twehadaroyalgoodtime!ButnowIremember，youhaven"tsaidawordfortwohours。Come，come，outwithsomething!"

TheRev。Mr——turnedalack-lustereyeuponme，drewadeepsigh，andsaid，withoutanimation，withoutapparentconsciousness:

"Punch，brothers，punchwithcare!Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!"

ApangshotthroughmeasIsaidtomyself，"Poorfellow，poorfellow!

hehasgotit，now。"

IdidnotseeMr——fortwoorthreedaysafterthat。Then，onTuesdayevening，hestaggeredintomypresenceandsankdejectedlyintoaseat。Hewaspale，worn；hewasawreck。Heliftedhisfadedeyestomyfaceandsaid:

"Ah，Mark，itwasaruinousinvestmentthatImadeinthoseheartlessrhymes。Theyhaveriddenmelikeanightmare，dayandnight，hourafterhour，tothisverymoment。SinceIsawyouIhavesufferedthetormentsofthelost。SaturdayeveningIhadasuddencall，bytelegraph，andtookthenighttrainforBoston。TheoccasionwasthedeathofavaluedoldfriendwhohadrequestedthatIshouldpreachhisfuneralsermon。

Itookmyseatinthecarsandsetmyselftoframingthediscourse。ButInevergotbeyondtheopeningparagraph；forthenthetrainstartedandthecar-wheelsbegantheir"clack，clack-clack-clack-clack!clack-clack!——

clack-clack-clack!"andrightawaythoseodiousrhymesfittedthemselvestothataccompaniment。ForanhourIsatthereandsetasyllableofthoserhymestoeveryseparateanddistinctclackthecar-wheelsmade。Why，Iwasasfaggedout，then，asifIhadbeenchoppingwoodallday。Myskullwassplittingwithheadache。ItseemedtomethatImustgomadifIsatthereanylonger；soIundressedandwenttobed。Istretchedmyselfoutinmyberth，and——well，youknowwhattheresultwas。Thethingwentrightalong，justthesame。

"Clack-clackclack，abluetripslip，clack-clack-clack，foraneightcentfare；clack-clack-clack，abufftripslip，clackclack-clack，forasix-centfare，andsoon，andsoon，andsoonpunchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!"Sleep？Notasinglewink!IwasalmostalunaticwhenIgottoBoston。Don"taskmeaboutthefuneral。IdidthebestI

could，buteverysolemnindividualsentencewasmeshedandtangledandwoveninandoutwith"Punch，brothers，punchwithcare，punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。"Andthemostdistressingthingwasthatmydeliverydroppedintotheundulatingrhythmofthosepulsingrhymes，andIcouldactuallycatchabsent-mindedpeoplenoddingtimetotheswingofitwiththeirstupidheads。And，Mark，youmaybelieveitornot，butbeforeIgotthroughtheentireassemblagewereplacidlybobbingtheirheadsinsolemnunison，mourners，undertaker，andall。ThemomentIhadfinished，Ifledtotheanteroominastateborderingonfrenzy。Ofcourseitwouldbemylucktofindasorrowingandagedmaidenauntofthedeceasedthere，whohadarrivedfromSpringfieldtoolatetogetintothechurch。Shebegantosob，andsaid:

""Oh，oh，heisgone，heisgone，andIdidn"tseehimbeforehedied!"

""Yes!"Isaid，"heisgone，heisgone，heisgone——oh，willthissufferingnevercease!"

""Youlovedhim，then!Oh，youtoolovedhim!"

""Lovedhim!Lovedwho？"

""Why，mypoorGeorge!mypoornephew!"

""Oh——him!Yes——oh，yes，yes。Certainly——certainly。Punch——punch——oh，thismiserywillkillme!"

""Blessyou!blessyou，sir，forthesesweetwords!I，too，sufferinthisdearloss。Wereyoupresentduringhislastmoments？"

""Yes。I——whoselastmoments？"

""His。Thedeardeparted"s。"

""Yes!Oh，yes——yes——yes!Isupposeso，Ithinkso，Idon"tknow!Oh，certainly——IwasthereIwasthere!"

""Oh，whataprivilege!whatapreciousprivilege!Andhislastwords——

oh，tellme，tellmehislastwords!Whatdidhesay？"

""Hesaid——hesaid-oh，myhead，myhead，myhead!Hesaid——hesaid——heneversaidanythingbutPunch，punch，punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!Oh，leaveme，madam!Inthenameofallthatisgenerous，leavemetomymadness，mymisery，mydespair!——abufftripslipforasix-centfare，apinktripslipforathree-centfare——endu——rancecannofur——thergo!——PUNCHinthepresenceofthepassenjare!"

Myfriend"shopelesseyesresteduponmineapregnantminute，andthenhesaidimpressively:

"Mark，youdonotsayanything。Youdonotoffermeanyhope。But，ahme，itisjustaswell——itisjustaswell。Youcouldnotdomeanygood。Thetimehaslonggonebywhenwordscouldcomfortme。Somethingtellsmethatmytongueisdoomedtowagforevertothejiggerofthatremorselessjingle，There——thereitiscomingonmeagain:abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，abufftripslipfora——"

Thusmurmuringfaintandfainter，myfriendsankintoapeacefultranceandforgothissufferingsinablessedrespite。

HowdidIfinallysavehimfromanasylum？Itookhimtoaneighboringuniversityandmadehimdischargetheburdenofhispersecutingrhymesintotheeagerearsofthepoor，unthinkingstudents。Howisitwiththem，now？Theresultistoosadtotell。WhydidIwritethisarticle？

Itwasforaworthy，evenanoble，purpose。Itwastowarnyou，reader，ifyoushouldcameacrossthosemercilessrhymes，toavoidthem——avoidthemasyouwouldapestilence。

THEGREATREVOLUTIONINPITCAIRN

Letmerefreshthereader"smemoryalittle。NearlyahundredyearsagothecrewoftheBritishshipbountymutinied，setthecaptainandhisofficersadriftupontheopensea，tookpossessionoftheship，andsailedsouthward。TheyprocuredwivesforthemselvesamongthenativesofTahiti，thenproceededtoalonelylittlerockinmid-Pacific，calledPitcairn"sIsland，wreckedthevessel，strippedherofeverythingthatmightbeusefultoanewcolony，andestablishedthemselvesonshore。

Pitcairn"sissofarremovedfromthetrackofcommercethatitwasmanyyearsbeforeanothervesseltouchedthere。Ithadalwaysbeenconsideredanuninhabitedisland；sowhenashipdidatlastdropitsanchorthere，in1808，thecaptainwasgreatlysurprisedtofindtheplacepeopled。

Althoughthemutineershadfoughtamongthemselves，andgraduallykilledeachotheroffuntilonlytwoorthreeoftheoriginalstockremained，thesetragedieshadnotoccurredbeforeanumberofchildrenhadbeenborn；soin1808theislandhadapopulationoftwenty-sevenpersons。

JohnAdams，thechiefmutineer，stillsurvived，andwastolivemanyyearsyet，asgovernorandpatriarchoftheflock。Frombeingmutineerandhomicide，hehadturnedChristianandteacher，andhisnationoftwenty-sevenpersonswasnowthepurestanddevoutestinChristendom。

AdamshadlongagohoistedtheBritishflagandconstitutedhisislandanappanageoftheBritishcrown。

To-daythepopulationnumbersninetypersons——sixteenmen，nineteenwomen，twenty-fiveboys，andthirtygirls——alldescendantsofthemutineers，allbearingthefamilynamesofthosemutineers，andallspeakingEnglish，andEnglishonly。Theislandstandshighupoutofthesea，andhasprecipitouswalls。Itisaboutthree-quartersofamilelong，andinplacesisasmuchashalfamilewide。Sucharablelandasitaffordsisheldbytheseveralfamilies，accordingtoadivisionmademanyyearsago。Thereissomelivestock——goats，pigs，chickens，andcats；butnodogs，andnolargeanimals。Thereisonechurch-buildingusedalsoasacapitol，aschoolhouse，andapubliclibrary。Thetitleofthegovernorhasbeen，foragenerationortwo，"MagistrateandChiefRuler，insubordinationtoherMajestytheQueenofGreatBritain。"Itwashisprovincetomakethelaws，aswellasexecutethem。Hisofficewaselective；everybodyoverseventeenyearsoldhadavote——nomatteraboutthesex。

Thesoleoccupationsofthepeoplewerefarmingandfishing；theirsolerecreation，religiousservices。Therehasneverbeenashopintheisland，noranymoney。Thehabitsanddressofthepeoplehavealwaysbeenprimitive，andtheirlawssimpletopuerility。TheyhavelivedinadeepSabbathtranquillity，farfromtheworldanditsambitionsandvexations，andneitherknowingnorcaringwhatwasgoingoninthemightyempiresthatliebeyondtheirlimitlessoceansolitudes。Onceinthreeorfouryearsashiptouchedthere，movedthemwithagednewsofbloodybattles，devastatingepidemics，fallenthrones，andruineddynasties，thentradedthemsomesoapandflannelforsomeyamsandbreadfruit，andsailedaway，leavingthemtoretireintotheirpeacefuldreamsandpiousdissipationsoncemore。

Onthe8thoflastSeptember，AdmiraldeHorsey，commander-in-chiefoftheBritishfleetinthePacific，visitedPitcairn"sIsland，andspeaksasfollowsinhisofficialreporttotheadmiralty:

Theyhavebeans，carrots，turnips，cabbages，andalittlemaize；

pineapples，figtrees，custard-apples，andoranges；lemons，andcocoanuts。Clothingisobtainedalonefrompassingships，inbarterforrefreshments。Therearenospringsontheisland，butasitrainsgenerallyonceamonththeyhaveplentyofwater，althoughattimesinformeryearstheyhavesufferedfromdrought。Noalcoholicliquors，exceptformedicinalpurposes，areused，andadrunkardisunknown……

Thenecessaryarticlesrequiredbytheislandersarebestshownbythosewefurnishedinbarterforrefreshments:namely，flannel，serge，drill，half-boots，combs，tobacco，andsoap。Theyalsostandmuchinneedofmapsandslatesfortheirschool，andtoolsofanykindaremostacceptable。IcausedthemtobesuppliedfromthepublicstoreswithaUnionjack:fordisplayonthearrivalofships，andapit-saw，ofwhichtheyweregreatlyinneed。This，I

trust，willmeettheapprovaloftheirlordships。IfthemunificentpeopleofEnglandwereonlyawareofthewantsofthismostdeservinglittlecolony，theywouldnotlonggounsupplied……

DivineserviceisheldeverySundayat10。30A。M。andat3P。M。，inthehousebuiltandusedbyJohnAdamsforthatpurposeuntilhediedin1829。ItisconductedstrictlyinaccordancewiththeliturgyoftheChurchofEngland，byMr。SimonYoung，theirselectedpastor，whoismuchrespected。ABibleclassisheldeveryWednesday，whenallwhoconvenientlycanattend。ThereisalsoageneralmeetingforprayeronthefirstFridayineverymonth。

Familyprayersaresaidineveryhousethefirstthinginthemorningandthelastthingintheevening，andnofoodispartakenofwithoutaskingGod"sblessingbeforeandafterward。Oftheseislanders"religiousattributesnoonecanspeakwithoutdeeprespect。ApeoplewhosegreatestpleasureandprivilegeistocommuneinprayerwiththeirGod，andtojoininhymnsofpraise，andwhoare，moreover，cheerful，diligent，andprobablyfreerfromvicethananyothercommunity，neednopriestamongthem。

NowIcometoasentenceintheadmiral"sreportwhichhedroppedcarelesslyfromhispen，nodoubt，andnevergavethematterasecondthought。Helittleimaginedwhatafreightoftragicprophecyitbore!

Thisisthesentence:

Onestranger，anAmerican，hassettledontheisland——adoubtfulacquisition。

Adoubtfulacquisition，indeed!CaptainOrmsby，intheAmericanshipHornet，touchedatPitcairn"snearlyfourmonthsaftertheadmiral"svisit，andfromthefactswhichhegatheredtherewenowknowallaboutthatAmerican。Letusputthesefactstogetherinhistoricalform。TheAmerican"snamewasButterworthStavely。Assoonashehadbecomewellacquaintedwithallthepeople——andthistookbutafewdays，ofcourse——hebegantoingratiatehimselfwiththembyalltheartshecouldcommand。Hebecameexceedinglypopular，andmuchlookedupto；foroneofthefirstthingshedidwastoforsakehisworldlywayoflife，andthrowallhisenergiesintoreligion。HewasalwaysreadinghisBible，orpraying，orsinginghymns，oraskingblessings。Inprayer，noonehadsuch"liberty"ashe，noonecouldpraysolongorsowell。