第6章

Wenowapproachedastilecommunicatingwithafootpaththatconductedtoafarm-house，where，Isuppose，Mr。Westonpurposedtomakehimself"useful；"forhepresentlytookleaveofme，crossedthestile，andtraversedthepathwithhisusualfirm，elastictread，leavingmetoponderhiswordsasIcontinuedmycoursealone。Ihadheardbeforethathehadlosthismothernotmanymonthsbeforehecame。Shethenwasthelastanddearestofhisearlyfriends；andhehadNOHOME。Ipitiedhimfrommyheart:

I

almostweptforsympathy。Andthis，Ithought，accountedfortheshadeofprematurethoughtfulnessthatsofrequentlycloudedhisbrow，andobtainedforhimthereputationofamoroseandsullendispositionwiththecharitableMissMurrayandallherkin。

"But，"thoughtI，"heisnotsomiserableasIshouldbeundersuchadeprivation:heleadsanactivelife；andawidefieldforusefulexertionliesbeforehim。HecanMAKEfriends；andhecanmakeahometoo，ifhepleases；and，doubtless，hewillpleasesometime。Godgrantthepartnerofthathomemaybeworthyofhischoice，andmakeitahappyone-suchahomeashedeservestohave!Andhowdelightfulitwouldbeto-"ButnomatterwhatI

thought。

Ibeganthisbookwiththeintentionofconcealingnothing；thatthosewholikedmighthavethebenefitofperusingafellow-

creature"sheart:butwehavesomethoughtsthatalltheangelsinheavenarewelcometobehold，butnotourbrother-men-noteventhebestandkindestamongstthem。

BythistimetheGreenshadtakenthemselvestotheirownabode，andtheMurrayshadturneddowntheprivateroad，whitherI

hastenedtofollowthem。Ifoundthetwogirlswarminananimateddiscussionontherespectivemeritsofthetwoyoungofficers；butonseeingmeRosaliebrokeoffinthemiddleofasentencetoexclaim，withmaliciousglee-

"Oh-ho，MissGrey!you"recomeatlast，areyou？NoWONDERyoulingeredsolongbehind；andnoWONDERyoualwaysstandupsovigorouslyforMr。WestonwhenIabusehim。Ah-ha!Iseeitallnow!"

"Now，come，MissMurray，don"tbefoolish，"saidI，attemptingagood-naturedlaugh；"youknowsuchnonsensecanmakenoimpressiononme。"

Butshestillwentontalkingsuchintolerablestuff-hersisterhelpingherwithappropriatefictioncoinedfortheoccasion-thatIthoughtitnecessarytosaysomethinginmyownjustification。

"Whatfollyallthisis!"Iexclaimed。"IfMr。Weston"sroadhappenedtobethesameasmineforafewyards，andifhechosetoexchangeawordortwoinpassing，whatistheresoremarkableinthat？Iassureyou，Ineverspoketohimbefore:exceptonce。"

"Where？where？andwhen？"criedtheyeagerly。

"InNancy"scottage。"

"Ah-ha!you"vemethimthere，haveyou？"exclaimedRosalie，withexultantlaughter。"Ah!now，Matilda，I"vefoundoutwhyshe"ssofondofgoingtoNancyBrown"s!ShegoestheretoflirtwithMr。

Weston。"

"Really，thatisnotworthcontradicting-Ionlysawhimthereonce，Itellyou-andhowcouldIknowhewascoming？"

IrritatedasIwasattheirfoolishmirthandvexatiousimputations，theuneasinessdidnotcontinuelong:whentheyhadhadtheirlaughout，theyreturnedagaintothecaptainandlieutenant；and，whiletheydisputedandcommenteduponthem，myindignationrapidlycooled；thecauseofitwasquicklyforgotten，andIturnedmythoughtsintoapleasanterchannel。Thusweproceededupthepark，andenteredthehall；andasIascendedthestairstomyownchamber，Ihadbutonethoughtwithinme:myheartwasfilledtooverflowingwithonesingleearnestwish。

Havingenteredtheroom，andshutthedoor，Ifelluponmykneesandofferedupaferventbutnotimpetuousprayer:"Thywillbedone，"Istrovetosaythroughout；but，"Father，allthingsarepossiblewithThee，andmayitbeThywill，"wassuretofollow。

Thatwish-thatprayer-bothmenandwomenwouldhavescornedmefor-"But，Father，THOUwiltNOTdespise!"Isaid，andfeltthatitwastrue。Itseemedtomethatanother"swelfarewasatleastasardentlyimploredforasmyown；nay，evenTHATwastheprincipalobjectofmyheart"sdesire。Imighthavebeendeceivingmyself；butthatideagavemeconfidencetoask，andpowertohopeIdidnotaskinvain。Asfortheprimroses，Ikepttwooftheminaglassinmyroomuntiltheywerecompletelywithered，andthehousemaidthrewthemout；andthepetalsoftheotherIpressedbetweentheleavesofmyBible-Ihavethemstill，andmeantokeepthemalways。

chapter14

CHAPTERXIV-THERECTOR

THEfollowingdaywasasfineastheprecedingone。SoonafterbreakfastMissMatilda，havinggallopedandblunderedthroughafewunprofitablelessons，andvengeablythumpedthepianoforanhour，inaterriblehumourwithbothmeandit，becausehermammawouldnotgiveheraholiday，hadbetakenherselftoherfavouriteplacesofresort，theyards，thestables，andthedog-kennels；andMissMurraywasgoneforthtoenjoyaquietramblewithanewfashionablenovelforhercompanion，leavingmeintheschoolroomhardatworkuponawater-colourdrawingwhichIhadpromisedtodoforher，andwhichsheinsisteduponmyfinishingthatday。

Atmyfeetlayalittleroughterrier。ItwasthepropertyofMissMatilda；butshehatedtheanimal，andintendedtosellit，allegingthatitwasquitespoiled。Itwasreallyanexcellentdogofitskind；butsheaffirmeditwasfitfornothing，andhadnoteventhesensetoknowitsownmistress。

Thefactwasshehadpurchaseditwhenbutasmallpuppy，insistingatfirstthatnooneshouldtouchitbutherself；butsoonbecomingtiredofsohelplessandtroublesomeanursling，shehadgladlyyieldedtomyentreatiestobeallowedtotakechargeofit；andI，bycarefullynursingthelittlecreaturefrominfancytoadolescence，ofcourse，hadobtaineditsaffections:arewardI

shouldhavegreatlyvalued，andlookeduponasfaroutweighingallthetroubleIhadhadwithit，hadnotpoorSnap"sgratefulfeelingsexposedhimtomanyaharshwordandmanyaspitefulkickandpinchfromhisowner，andwerehenotnowindangerofbeing"putaway"inconsequence，ortransferredtosomerough，stony-

heartedmaster。ButhowcouldIhelpit？Icouldnotmakethedoghatemebycrueltreatment，andshewouldnotpropitiatehimbykindness。

However，whileIthussat，workingawaywithmypencil，Mrs。Murraycame，half-sailing，half-bustling，intotheroom。

"MissGrey，"shebegan，-"dear!howcanyousitatyourdrawingsuchadayasthis？"(ShethoughtIwasdoingitformyownpleasure。)"IWONDERyoudon"tputonyourbonnetandgooutwiththeyoungladies。"

"Ithink，ma"am，MissMurrayisreading；andMissMatildaisamusingherselfwithherdogs。"

"IfyouwouldtrytoamuseMissMatildayourselfalittlemore，I

thinkshewouldnotbedriventoseekamusementinthecompanionshipofdogsandhorsesandgrooms，somuchassheis；andifyouwouldbealittlemorecheerfulandconversablewithMissMurray，shewouldnotsooftengowanderinginthefieldswithabookinherhand。However，Idon"twanttovexyou，"addedshe，seeing，Isuppose，thatmycheeksburnedandmyhandtrembledwithsomeunamiableemotion。"Do，pray，trynottobesotouchy-

there"snospeakingtoyouelse。AndtellmeifyouknowwhereRosalieisgone:andwhyshelikestobesomuchalone？"

"Shesaysshelikestobealonewhenshehasanewbooktoread。"

"Butwhycan"tshereaditintheparkorthegarden？-whyshouldshegointothefieldsandlanes？AndhowisitthatthatMr。

Hatfieldsooftenfindsherout？Shetoldmelastweekhe"dwalkedhishorsebyhersideallupMossLane；andnowI"msureitwasheIsaw，frommydressing-roomwindow，walkingsobrisklypastthepark-gates，andontowardsthefieldwhereshesofrequentlygoes。

Iwishyouwouldgoandseeifsheisthere；andjustgentlyremindherthatitisnotproperforayoungladyofherrankandprospectstobewanderingaboutbyherselfinthatmanner，exposedtotheattentionsofanyonethatpresumestoaddressher；likesomepoorneglectedgirlthathasnoparktowalkin，andnofriendstotakecareofher:andtellherthatherpapawouldbeextremelyangryifheknewofhertreatingMr。HatfieldinthefamiliarmannerthatIfearshedoes；and-oh!ifyou-ifANYgovernesshadbuthalfamother"swatchfulness-halfamother"sanxiouscare，Ishouldbesavedthistrouble；andyouwouldseeatoncethenecessityofkeepingyoureyeuponher，andmakingyourcompanyagreeableto-Well，go-go；there"snotimetobelost，"criedshe，seeingthatIhadputawaymydrawingmaterials，andwaswaitinginthedoorwayfortheconclusionofheraddress。

Accordingtoherprognostications，IfoundMissMurrayinherfavouritefieldjustwithoutthepark；and，unfortunately，notalone；forthetall，statelyfigureofMr。Hatfieldwasslowlysaunteringbyherside。

Herewasaposerforme。ItwasmydutytointerrupttheTETE-A-

TETE:buthowwasittobedone？Mr。HatfieldcouldnottobedrivenawaybysoinsignificantpersonasI；andtogoandplacemyselfontheothersideofMissMurray，andintrudemyunwelcomepresenceuponherwithoutnoticinghercompanion，wasapieceofrudenessIcouldnotbeguiltyof:neitherhadIthecouragetocryaloudfromthetopofthefieldthatshewaswantedelsewhere。

SoItooktheintermediatecourseofwalkingslowlybutsteadilytowardsthem；resolving，ifmyapproachfailedtoscareawaythebeau，topassbyandtellMissMurrayhermammawantedher。

Shecertainlylookedverycharmingasshestrolled，lingeringalongunderthebuddinghorse-chestnuttreesthatstretchedtheirlongarmsoverthepark-palings；withherclosedbookinonehand，andintheotheragracefulsprigofmyrtle，whichservedherasaveryprettyplaything；herbrightringletsescapingprofuselyfromherlittlebonnet，andgentlystirredbythebreeze，herfaircheekflushedwithgratifiedvanity，hersmilingblueeyes，nowslylyglancingtowardsheradmirer，nowgazingdownwardathermyrtlesprig。ButSnap，runningbeforeme，interruptedherinthemidstofsomehalf-pert，half-playfulrepartee，bycatchingholdofherdressandvehementlytuggingthereat；tillMr。Hatfield，withhiscane，administeredaresoundingthwackupontheanimal"sskull，andsentityelpingbacktomewithaclamorousoutcrythataffordedthereverendgentlemangreatamusement:butseeingmesonear，hethought，Isuppose，hemightaswellbetakinghisdeparture；and，asIstoopedtocaressthedog，withostentatiouspitytoshowmydisapprovalofhisseverity，Iheardhimsay:"WhenshallIseeyouagain，MissMurray？"

"Atchurch，Isuppose，"repliedshe，"unlessyourbusinesschancestobringyouhereagainattheprecisemomentwhenIhappentobewalkingby。"

"Icouldalwaysmanagetohavebusinesshere，ifIknewpreciselywhenandwheretofindyou。"

"ButifIwould，Icouldnotinformyou，forIamsoimmethodical，Inevercantellto-daywhatIshalldotomorrow。"

"Thengivemethat，meantime，tocomfortme，"saidhe，halfjestinglyandhalfinearnest，extendinghishandforthesprigofmyrtle。

"No，indeed，Ishan"t。"

"Do!PRAYdo!Ishallbethemostmiserableofmenifyoudon"t。

Youcannotbesocruelastodenymeafavoursoeasilygrantedandyetsohighlyprized!"pleadedheasardentlyasifhislifedependedonit。

BythistimeIstoodwithinaveryfewyardsofthem，impatientlywaitinghisdeparture。

"Therethen!takeitandgo，"saidRosalie。

Hejoyfullyreceivedthegift，murmuredsomethingthatmadeherblushandtossherhead，butwithalittlelaughthatshowedherdispleasurewasentirelyaffected；andthenwithacourteoussalutationwithdrew。

"Didyoueverseesuchaman，MissGrey？"saidshe，turningtome；

"I"msoGLADyoucame!IthoughtIneverSHOULD，getridofhim；

andIwassoterriblyafraidofpapaseeinghim。"

"Hashebeenwithyoulong？"

"No，notlong，buthe"ssoextremelyimpertinent:andhe"salwayshangingabout，pretendinghisbusinessorhisclericaldutiesrequirehisattendanceintheseparts，andreallywatchingforpoorme，andpouncinguponmewhereverheseesme。"

"Well，yourmammathinksyououghtnottogobeyondtheparkorgardenwithoutsomediscreet，matronlypersonlikemetoaccompanyyou，andkeepoffallintruders。ShedescriedMr。Hatfieldhurryingpastthepark-gates，andforthwithdespatchedmewithinstructionstoseekyouupandtotakecareofyou，andlikewisetowarn-"

"Oh，mamma"ssotiresome!AsifIcouldn"ttakecareofmyself。

ShebotheredmebeforeaboutMr。Hatfield；andItoldhershemighttrustme:Inevershouldforgetmyrankandstationforthemostdelightfulmanthateverbreathed。Iwishhewouldgodownonhiskneesto-morrow，andimploremetobehiswife，thatImightjustshowherhowmistakensheisinsupposingthatIcouldever-Oh，itprovokesmeso!TothinkthatIcouldbesuchafoolastofallinLOVE!Itisquitebeneaththedignityofawomantodosuchathing。Love!Idetesttheword!Asappliedtooneofoursex，I

thinkitaperfectinsult。ApreferenceIMIGHTacknowledge；butneverforonelikepoorMr。Hatfield，whohasnotsevenhundredayeartoblesshimselfwith。Iliketotalktohim，becausehe"ssocleverandamusing-IwishSirThomasAshbywerehalfasnice；

besides，ImusthaveSOMEBODYtoflirtwith，andnooneelsehasthesensetocomehere；andwhenwegoout，mammawon"tletmeflirtwithanybodybutSirThomas-ifhe"sthere；andifhe"sNOT

there，I"mboundhandandfoot，forfearsomebodyshouldgoandmakeupsomeexaggeratedstory，andputitintohisheadthatI"mengaged，orlikelytobeengaged，tosomebodyelse；or，whatismoreprobable，forfearhisnastyoldmothershouldseeorhearofmyongoings，andconcludethatI"mnotafitwifeforherexcellentson:asifthesaidsonwerenotthegreatestscampinChristendom；andasifanywomanofcommondecencywerenotaworldtoogoodforhim。"

"Isitreallyso，MissMurray？anddoesyourmammaknowit，andyetwishyoutomarryhim？"

"Tobesure，shedoes!SheknowsmoreagainsthimthanIdo，I

believe:shekeepsitfrommelestIshouldbediscouraged；notknowinghowlittleIcareaboutsuchthings。Forit"snogreatmatter，really:he"llbeallrightwhenhe"smarried，asmammasays；andreformedrakesmakethebesthusbands，EVERYBODYknows。

Ionlywishhewerenotsougly-THAT"SallIthinkabout:butthenthere"snochoicehereinthecountry；andpapaWILLNOTletusgotoLondon-"

"ButIshouldthinkMr。Hatfieldwouldbefarbetter。"

"Andsohewould，ifhewerelordofAshbyPark-there"snotadoubtofit:butthefactis，IMUSThaveAshbyPark，whoeversharesitwithme。"

"ButMr。Hatfieldthinksyoulikehimallthistime；youdon"tconsiderhowbitterlyhewillbedisappointedwhenhefindshimselfmistaken。"

"NO，indeed!Itwillbeaproperpunishmentforhispresumption-

foreverDARINGtothinkIcouldlikehim。Ishouldenjoynothingsomuchasliftingtheveilfromhiseyes。"

"Thesooneryoudoitthebetterthen。"

"No；Itellyou，Iliketoamusemyselfwithhim。Besides，hedoesn"treallythinkIlikehim。Itakegoodcareofthat:

youdon"tknowhowcleverlyImanage。Hemaypresumetothinkhecaninducemetolikehim；forwhichIshallpunishhimashedeserves。"

"Well，mindyoudon"tgivetoomuchreasonforsuchpresumption-

that"sall，"repliedI。

Butallmyexhortationswereinvain:theyonlymadehersomewhatmoresolicitoustodisguiseherwishesandherthoughtsfromme。

ShetalkednomoretomeabouttheRector；butIcouldseethathermind，ifnotherheart，wasfixeduponhimstill，andthatshewasintentuponobtaininganotherinterview:forthough，incompliancewithhermother"srequest，Iwasnowconstitutedthecompanionofherramblesforatime，shestillpersistedinwanderinginthefieldsandlanesthatlayinthenearestproximitytotheroad；

and，whethershetalkedtomeorreadthebookshecarriedinherhand，shekeptcontinuallypausingtolookroundher，orgazeuptheroadtoseeifanyonewascoming；andifahorsemantrottedby，Icouldtellbyherunqualifiedabuseofthepoorequestrian，whoeverhemightbe，thatshehatedhimBECAUSEhewasnotMr。

Hatfield。

"Surely，"thoughtI，"sheisnotsoindifferenttohimasshebelievesherselftobe，orwouldhaveotherstobelieveher；andhermother"sanxietyisnotsowhollycauselessassheaffirms。"

Threedayspassedaway，andhedidnotmakehisappearance。Ontheafternoonofthefourth，aswewerewalkingbesidethepark-palingsinthememorablefield，eachfurnishedwithabook(forIalwaystookcaretoprovidemyselfwithsomethingtobedoingwhenshedidnotrequiremetotalk)，shesuddenlyinterruptedmystudiesbyexclaiming-

"Oh，MissGrey!dobesokindastogoandseeMarkWood，andtakehiswifehalf-a-crownfromme-Ishouldhavegivenorsentitaweekago，butquiteforgot。There!"saidshe，throwingmeherpurse，andspeakingveryfast-"Nevermindgettingitoutnow，buttakethepurseandgivethemwhatyoulike；Iwouldgowithyou，butIwanttofinishthisvolume。I"llcomeandmeetyouwhenI"vedoneit。Bequick，willyou-and-oh，wait；hadn"tyoubetterreadtohimabit？Runtothehouseandgetsomesortofagoodbook。Anythingwilldo。"

IdidasIwasdesired；but，suspectingsomethingfromherhurriedmannerandthesuddennessoftherequest，IjustglancedbackbeforeIquittedthefield，andtherewasMr。Hatfieldabouttoenteratthegatebelow。Bysendingmetothehouseforabook，shehadjustpreventedmymeetinghimontheroad。

"Nevermind!"thoughtI，"there"llbenogreatharmdone。PoorMarkwillbegladofthehalf-crown，andperhapsofthegoodbooktoo；andiftheRectordoesstealMissRosalie"sheart，itwillonlyhumbleherpridealittle；andiftheydogetmarriedatlast，itwillonlysaveherfromaworsefate；andshewillbequiteagoodenoughpartnerforhim，andheforher。"

MarkWoodwastheconsumptivelabourerwhomImentionedbefore。

Hewasnowrapidlywearingaway。MissMurray，byherliberality，obtainedliterallytheblessingofhimthatwasreadytoperish；

forthoughthehalf-crowncouldbeofverylittleservicetohim，hewasgladofitforthesakeofhiswifeandchildren，sosoontobewidowedandfatherless。AfterIhadsatafewminutes，andreadalittleforthecomfortandedificationofhimselfandhisafflictedwife，Ileftthem；butIhadnotproceededfiftyyardsbeforeIencounteredMr。Weston，apparentlyonhiswaytothesameabode。Hegreetedmeinhisusualquiet，unaffectedway，stoppedtoinquireabouttheconditionofthesickmanandhisfamily，andwithasortofunconscious，brotherlydisregardtoceremonytookfrommyhandthebookoutofwhichIhadbeenreading，turnedoveritspages，madeafewbriefbutverysensibleremarks，andrestoredit；thentoldmeaboutsomepoorsuffererhehadjustbeenvisiting，talkedalittleaboutNancyBrown，madeafewobservationsuponmylittleroughfriendtheterrier，thatwasfriskingathisfeet，andfinallyuponthebeautyoftheweather，anddeparted。

Ihaveomittedtogiveadetailofhiswords，fromanotionthattheywouldnotinterestthereaderastheydidme，andnotbecauseIhaveforgottenthem。No；Irememberthemwell；forIthoughtthemoverandoveragaininthecourseofthatdayandmanysucceedingones，Iknownothowoften；andrecalledeveryintonationofhisdeep，clearvoice，everyflashofhisquick，browneye，andeverygleamofhispleasant，buttootransientsmile。Suchaconfessionwilllookveryabsurd，Ifear:

butnomatter:Ihavewrittenit:andtheythatreaditwillnotknowthewriter。

WhileIwaswalkingalong，happywithin，andpleasedwithallaround，MissMurraycamehasteningtomeetme；herbuoyantstep，flushedcheek，andradiantsmilesshowingthatshe，too，washappy，inherownway。Runninguptome，sheputherarmthroughmine，andwithoutwaitingtorecoverbreath，began-"Now，MissGrey，thinkyourselfhighlyhonoured，forI"mcometotellyoumynewsbeforeI"vebreathedawordofittoanyoneelse。"

"Well，whatisit？"

"Oh，SUCHnews!Inthefirstplace，youmustknowthatMr。

Hatfieldcameuponmejustafteryouweregone。Iwasinsuchawayforfearpapaormammashouldseehim；butyouknowIcouldn"tcallyoubackagain，andso!-oh，dear!Ican"ttellyouallaboutitnow，forthere"sMatilda，Isee，inthepark，andImustgoandopenmybudgettoher。But，however，Hatfieldwasmostuncommonlyaudacious，unspeakablycomplimentary，andunprecedentedlytender-triedtobeso，atleast-hedidn"tsucceedverywellinTHAT，becauseit"snothisvein。I"lltellyouallhesaidanothertime。"

"ButwhatdidYOUsay-I"mmoreinterestedinthat？"

"I"lltellyouthat，too，atsomefutureperiod。Ihappenedtobeinaverygoodhumourjustthen；but，thoughIwascomplaisantandgraciousenough，Itookcarenottocompromisemyselfinanypossibleway。But，however，theconceitedwretchchosetointerpretmyamiabilityoftemperhisownway，andatlengthpresumeduponmyindulgencesofar-whatdoyouthink？-heactuallymademeanoffer!"

"Andyou-"

"Iproudlydrewmyselfup，andwiththegreatestcoolnessexpressedmyastonishmentatsuchanoccurrence，andhopedhehadseennothinginmyconducttojustifyhisexpectations。YoushouldhaveSEENhowhiscountenancefell!Hewentperfectlywhiteintheface。IassuredhimthatIesteemedhimandallthat，butcouldnotpossiblyaccedetohisproposals；andifIdid，papaandmammacouldneverbebroughttogivetheirconsent。"

""Butiftheycould，"saidhe，"wouldyoursbewanting？"

""Certainly，Mr。Hatfield，"Ireplied，withacooldecisionwhichquelledallhopeatonce。Oh，ifyouhadseenhowdreadfullymortifiedhewas-howcrushedtotheearthbyhisdisappointment!

really，Ialmostpitiedhimmyself。

"Onemoredesperateattempt，however，hemade。Afterasilenceofconsiderableduration，duringwhichhestruggledtobecalm，andI

tobegrave-forIfeltastrongpropensitytolaugh-whichwouldhaveruinedall-hesaid，withtheghostofasmile-"Buttellmeplainly，MissMurray，ifIhadthewealthofSirHughMeltham，ortheprospectsofhiseldestson，wouldyoustillrefuseme？Answermetruly，uponyourhonour。"

""Certainly，"saidI。"Thatwouldmakenodifferencewhatever。"

"Itwasagreatlie，buthelookedsoconfidentinhisownattractionsstill，thatIdeterminednottoleavehimonestoneuponanother。Helookedmefullintheface；butIkeptmycountenancesowellthathecouldnotimagineIwassayinganythingmorethantheactualtruth。

""Thenit"sallover，Isuppose，"hesaid，lookingasifhecouldhavediedonthespotwithvexationandtheintensityofhisdespair。Buthewasangryaswellasdisappointed。Therewashe，sufferingsounspeakably，andtherewasI，thepitilesscauseofitall，soutterlyimpenetrabletoalltheartilleryofhislooksandwords，socalmlycoldandproud，hecouldnotbutfeelsomeresentment；andwithsingularbitternesshebegan-"Icertainlydidnotexpectthis，MissMurray。Imightsaysomethingaboutyourpastconduct，andthehopesyouhaveledmetofoster，butI

forbear，oncondition-"

""Noconditions，Mr。Hatfield!"saidI，nowtrulyindignantathisinsolence。

""Thenletmebegitasafavour，"hereplied，loweringhisvoiceatonce，andtakingahumblertone:"letmeentreatthatyouwillnotmentionthisaffairtoanyonewhatever。Ifyouwillkeepsilenceaboutit，thereneedbenounpleasantnessoneitherside-

nothing，Imean，beyondwhatisquiteunavoidable:formyownfeelingsIwillendeavourtokeeptomyself，ifIcannotannihilatethem-Iwilltrytoforgive，ifIcannotforgetthecauseofmysufferings。Iwillnotsuppose，MissMurray，thatyouknowhowdeeplyyouhaveinjuredme。Iwouldnothaveyouawareofit；

butif，inadditiontotheinjuryyouhavealreadydoneme-pardonme，but，whetherinnocentlyornot，youHAVEdoneit-andifyouaddtoitbygivingpublicitytothisunfortunateaffair，ornamingitATALL，youwillfindthatItoocanspeak，andthoughyouscornedmylove，youwillhardlyscornmy-"

"Hestopped，buthebithisbloodlesslip，andlookedsoterriblyfiercethatIwasquitefrightened。However，myprideupheldmestill，andIanswereddisdainfully；"IdonotknowwhatmotiveyousupposeIcouldhavefornamingittoanyone，Mr。Hatfield；butifIweredisposedtodoso，youwouldnotdetermebythreats；anditisscarcelythepartofagentlemantoattemptit。"

""Pardonme，MissMurray，"saidhe，"Ihavelovedyousointensely-Idostilladoreyousodeeply，thatIwouldnotwillinglyoffendyou；butthoughIneverhaveloved，andneverCANloveanywomanasIhavelovedyou，itisequallycertainthatIneverwassoill-

treatedbyany。Onthecontrary，IhavealwaysfoundyoursexthekindestandmosttenderandobligingofGod"screation，tillnow。"

(Thinkoftheconceitedfellowsayingthat!)"Andthenoveltyandharshnessofthelessonyouhavetaughtmeto-day，andthebitternessofbeingdisappointedintheonlyquarteronwhichthehappinessofmylifedepended，mustexcuseanyappearanceofasperity。Ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，"

hesaid(forIwaslookingaboutmetoshowhowlittleIcaredforhim，sohethoughtIwastiredofhim，Isuppose)-"ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，youhaveonlytopromisemethefavourInamed，andIwillrelieveyouatonce。Therearemanyladies-someeveninthisparish-whowouldbedelightedtoacceptwhatyouhavesoscornfullytrampledunderyourfeet。Theywouldbenaturallyinclinedtohateonewhosesurpassinglovelinesshassocompletelyestrangedmyheartfromthemandblindedmetotheirattractions；andasinglehintofthetruthfrommetooneofthesewouldbesufficienttoraisesuchatalkagainstyouaswouldseriouslyinjureyourprospects，anddiminishyourchanceofsuccesswithanyothergentlemanyouoryourmammamightdesigntoentangle。"

""Whatdoyourmean，sir？"saidI，readytostampwithpassion。

""Imeanthatthisaffairfrombeginningtoendappearstomelikeacaseofarrantflirtation，tosaytheleastofit-suchacaseasyouwouldfinditratherinconvenienttohaveblazonedthroughtheworld:especiallywiththeadditionsandexaggerationsofyourfemalerivals，whowouldbetoogladtopublishthematter，ifI

onlygavethemahandletoit。ButIpromiseyou，onthefaithofagentleman，thatnowordorsyllablethatcouldtendtoyourprejudiceshalleverescapemylips，providedyouwill-"

""Well，well，Iwon"tmentionit，"saidI。"Youmayrelyuponmysilence，ifthatcanaffordyouanyconsolation。"

""Youpromiseit？"

""Yes，"Ianswered；forIwantedtogetridofhimnow。

""Farewell，then!"saidhe，inamostdoleful，heart-sicktone；andwithalookwherepridevainlystruggledagainstdespair，heturnedandwentaway:longing，nodoubt，togethome，thathemightshuthimselfupinhisstudyandcry-ifhedoesn"tburstintotearsbeforehegetsthere。"

"Butyouhavebrokenyourpromisealready，"saidI，trulyhorrifiedatherperfidy。

"Oh!it"sonlytoyou；Iknowyouwon"trepeatit。"

"Certainly，Ishallnot:butyousayyouaregoingtotellyoursister；andshewilltellyourbrotherswhentheycomehome，andBrownimmediately，ifyoudonottellheryourself；andBrownwillblazonit，orbethemeansofblazoningit，throughoutthecountry。"

"No，indeed，shewon"t。Weshallnottellheratall，unlessitbeunderthepromiseofthestrictestsecrecy。"

"Buthowcanyouexpecthertokeepherpromisesbetterthanhermoreenlightenedmistress？"

"Well，well，sheshan"thearitthen，"saidMissMurray，somewhatsnappishly。

"Butyouwilltellyourmamma，ofcourse，"pursuedI；"andshewilltellyourpapa。"

"OfcourseIshalltellmamma-thatistheverythingthatpleasesmesomuch。Ishallnowbeabletoconvinceherhowmistakenshewasinherfearsaboutme。"

"Oh，THAT"Sit，isit？Iwaswonderingwhatitwasthatdelightedyousomuch。"

"Yes；andanotherthingis，thatI"vehumbledMr。Hatfieldsocharmingly；andanother-why，youmustallowmesomeshareoffemalevanity:Idon"tpretendtobewithoutthatmostessentialattributeofoursex-andifyouhadseenpoorHatfield"sintenseeagernessinmakinghisardentdeclarationandhisflatteringproposal，andhisagonyofmind，thatnoeffortofpridecouldconceal，onbeingrefused，youwouldhaveallowedIhadsomecausetobegratified。"

"Thegreaterhisagony，Ishouldthink，thelessyourcauseforgratification。"

"Oh，nonsense!"criedtheyounglady，shakingherselfwithvexation。"Youeithercan"tunderstandme，oryouwon"t。

IfIhadnotconfidenceinyourmagnanimity，Ishouldthinkyouenviedme。

Butyouwill，perhaps，comprehendthiscauseofpleasure-whichisasgreatasany-namely，thatIamdelightedwithmyselfformyprudence，myself-command，myheartlessness，ifyouplease。I

wasnotabittakenbysurprise，notabitconfused，orawkward，orfoolish；IjustactedandspokeasIoughttohavedone，andwascompletelymyownmistressthroughout。Andherewasaman，decidedlygood-looking-JaneandSusanGreencallhimbewitchinglyhandsomeIsupposethey"retwooftheladieshepretendswouldbesogladtohavehim；but，however，hewascertainlyaveryclever，witty，agreeablecompanion-notwhatyoucallclever，butjustenoughtomakehimentertaining；andamanoneneedn"tbeashamedofanywhere，andwouldnotsoongrowtiredof；andtoconfessthetruth，Iratherlikedhim-bettereven，oflate，thanHarryMeltham-andheevidentlyidolisedme；andyet，thoughhecameuponmeallaloneandunprepared，Ihadthewisdom，andthepride，andthestrengthtorefusehim-andsoscornfullyandcoollyasI

did:Ihavegoodreasontobeproudofthat。"

"AndareyouequallyproudofhavingtoldhimthathishavingthewealthofSirHughMelthamwouldmakenodifferencetoyou，whenthatwasnotthecase；andofhavingpromisedtotellnooneofhismisadventure，apparentlywithouttheslightestintentionofkeepingyourpromise？"

"Ofcourse!whatelsecouldIdo？Youwouldnothavehadme-

butIsee，MissGrey，you"renotinagoodtemper。Here"sMatilda；

I"llseewhatsheandmammahavetosayaboutit。"

Sheleftme，offendedatmywantofsympathy，andthinking，nodoubt，thatIenviedher。Ididnot-atleast，IfirmlybelievedIdidnot。Iwassorryforher；Iwasamazed，disgustedatherheartlessvanity；Iwonderedwhysomuchbeautyshouldbegiventothosewhomadesobadauseofit，anddeniedtosomewhowouldmakeitabenefittoboththemselvesandothers。

But，Godknowsbest，Iconcluded。Thereare，Isuppose，somemenasvain，asselfish，andasheartlessassheis，and，perhaps，suchwomenmaybeusefultopunishthem。

chapter15

CHAPTERXV-THEWALK

"OH，dear!IwishHatfieldhadnotbeensoprecipitate!"saidRosalienextdayatfourP。M。，as，withaportentousyawn，shelaiddownherworsted-workandlookedlistlesslytowardsthewindow。

"There"snoinducementtogooutnow；andnothingtolookforwardto。Thedayswillbesolonganddullwhentherearenopartiestoenliventhem；andtherearenonethisweek，ornexteither，thatI

knowof。"

"Pityyouweresocrosstohim，"observedMatilda，towhomthislamentationwasaddressed。"He"llnevercomeagain:andIsuspectyoulikedhimafterall。Ihopedyouwouldhavetakenhimforyourbeau，andleftdearHarrytome。"

"Humph!mybeaumustbeanAdonisindeed，Matilda，theadmiredofallbeholders，ifIamtobecontentedwithhimalone。I"msorrytoloseHatfield，Iconfess；butthefirstdecentman，ornumberofmen，thatcometosupplyhisplace，willbemorethanwelcome。

It"sSundayto-morrow-Idowonderhowhe"lllook，andwhetherhe"llbeabletogothroughtheservice。Mostlikelyhe"llpretendhe"sgotacold，andmakeMr。Westondoitall。"

"Nothe!"exclaimedMatilda，somewhatcontemptuously。"Foolasheis，he"snotsosoftasthatcomesto。"

Hersisterwasslightlyoffended；buttheeventprovedMatildawasright:thedisappointedloverperformedhispastoraldutiesasusual。Rosalie，indeed，affirmedhelookedverypaleanddejected:

hemightbealittlepaler；butthedifference，ifany，wasscarcelyperceptible。Asforhisdejection，Icertainlydidnothearhislaughringingfromthevestryasusual，norhisvoiceloudinhilariousdiscourse；thoughIdidhearitupliftedinratingthesextoninamannerthatmadethecongregationstare；and，inhistransitstoandfromthepulpitandthecommunion-table，therewasmoreofsolemnpomp，andlessofthatirreverent，self-confident，orratherself-delightedimperiousnesswithwhichheusuallysweptalong-thatairthatseemedtosay，"Youallreverenceandadoreme，Iknow；butifanyonedoesnot，Idefyhimtotheteeth!"

Butthemostremarkablechangewas，thatheneveroncesufferedhiseyestowanderinthedirectionofMr。Murray"spew，anddidnotleavethechurchtillweweregone。

Mr。Hatfieldhaddoubtlessreceivedaverysevereblow；buthisprideimpelledhimtouseeveryefforttoconcealtheeffectsofit。Hehadbeendisappointedinhiscertainhopeofobtainingnotonlyabeautiful，and，tohim，highlyattractivewife，butonewhoserankandfortunemightgivebrilliancetofarinferiorcharms:hewaslikewise，nodoubt，intenselymortifiedbyhisrepulse，anddeeplyoffendedattheconductofMissMurraythroughout。Itwouldhavegivenhimnolittleconsolationtohaveknownhowdisappointedshewastofindhimapparentlysolittlemoved，andtoseethathewasabletorefrainfromcastingasingleglanceatherthroughoutbothservices；though，shedeclared，itshowedhewasthinkingofherallthetime，orhiseyeswouldhavefallenuponher，ifitwereonlybychance:butiftheyhadsochancedtofall，shewouldhaveaffirmeditwasbecausetheycouldnotresisttheattraction。Itmighthavepleasedhim，too，insomedegree，tohaveseenhowdullanddissatisfiedshewasthroughoutthatweek(thegreaterpartofit，atleast)，forlackofherusualsourceofexcitement；andhowoftensheregrettedhaving"usedhimupsosoon，"likeachildthat，havingdevoureditsplumcaketoohastily，sitssuckingitsfingers，andvainlylamentingitsgreediness。

AtlengthIwascalledupon，onefinemorning，toaccompanyherinawalktothevillage。OstensiblyshewenttogetsomeshadesofBerlinwool，atatolerablyrespectableshopthatwaschieflysupportedbytheladiesofthevicinity:really-ItrustthereisnobreachofcharityinsupposingthatshewentwiththeideaofmeetingeitherwiththeRectorhimself，orsomeotheradmirerbytheway；foraswewentalong，shekeptwondering"whatHatfieldwoulddoorsay，ifwemethim，"&；c。&；c。；aswepassedMr。Green"spark-gates，she"wonderedwhetherhewasathome-greatstupidblockhead"；asLadyMeltham"scarriagepassedus，she"wonderedwhatMr。Harrywasdoingthisfineday"；andthenbegantoabusehiselderbrotherforbeing"suchafoolastogetmarriedandgoandliveinLondon。"

"Why，"saidI，"IthoughtyouwantedtoliveinLondonyourself。"

"Yes，becauseit"ssodullhere:butthenhemakesitstilldullerbytakinghimselfoff:andifhewerenotmarriedImighthavehiminsteadofthatodiousSirThomas。"

Then，observingtheprintsofahorse"sfeetonthesomewhatmiryroad，she"wonderedwhetheritwasagentleman"shorse，"andfinallyconcludeditwas，fortheimpressionsweretoosmalltohavebeenmadebya"greatclumsycart-horse"；andthenshe"wonderedwhotheridercouldbe，"andwhetherweshouldmeethimcomingback，forshewassurehehadonlypassedthatmorning；andlastly，whenweenteredthevillageandsawonlyafewofitshumbleinhabitantsmovingabout，she"wonderedwhythestupidpeoplecouldn"tkeepintheirhouses；shewassureshedidn"twanttoseetheiruglyfaces，anddirty，vulgarclothes-itwasn"tforthatshecametoHorton!"

Amidallthis，Iconfess，Iwondered，too，insecret，whetherweshouldmeet，orcatchaglimpseofsomebodyelse；andaswepassedhislodgings，Ievenwentsofarastowonderwhetherhewasatthewindow。Onenteringtheshop，MissMurraydesiredmetostandinthedoorwaywhileshetransactedherbusiness，andtellherifanyonepassed。Butalas!therewasnoonevisiblebesidesthevillagers，exceptJaneandSusanGreencomingdownthesinglestreet，apparentlyreturningfromawalk。

"Stupidthings!"mutteredshe，asshecameoutafterhavingconcludedherbargain。"Whycouldn"ttheyhavetheirdoltofabrotherwiththem？evenhewouldbebetterthannothing。"

Shegreetedthem，however，withacheerfulsmile，andprotestationsofpleasureatthehappymeetingequaltotheirown。Theyplacedthemselvesoneoneachsideofher，andallthreewalkedawaychattingandlaughingasyoungladiesdowhentheygettogether，iftheybebutontolerablyintimateterms。ButI，feelingmyselftobeonetoomany，leftthemtotheirmerrimentandlaggedbehind，asusualonsuchoccasions:IhadnorelishforwalkingbesideMissGreenorMissSusanlikeonedeafanddumb，whocouldneitherspeaknorbespokento。

ButthistimeIwasnotlongalone。Itstruckme，first，asveryodd，thatjustasIwasthinkingaboutMr。Westonheshouldcomeupandaccostme；butafterwards，onduereflection，Ithoughttherewasnothingoddaboutit，unlessitwerethefactofhisspeakingtome；foronsuchamorningandsonearhisownabode，itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldbeabout；andasformythinkingofhim，Ihadbeendoingthat，withlittleintermission，eversincewesetoutonourjourney；sotherewasnothingremarkableinthat。

"Youarealoneagain，MissGrey，"saidhe。

"Yes。"

"Whatkindofpeoplearethoseladies-theMissesGreen？"

"Ireallydon"tknow。"

"That"sstrange-whenyoulivesonearandseethemsooften!"

"Well，Isupposetheyarelively，good-temperedgirls；butI

imagineyoumustknowthembetterthanIdo，yourself，forIneverexchangedawordwitheitherofthem。"

"Indeed？Theydon"tstrikemeasbeingparticularlyreserved。"

"Verylikelytheyarenotsotopeopleoftheirownclass；buttheyconsiderthemselvesasmovinginquiteadifferentspherefromme!"

Hemadenoreplytothis:butafterashortpause，hesaid，-

"I

supposeit"sthesethings，MissGrey，thatmakeyouthinkyoucouldnotlivewithoutahome？"

"Notexactly。ThefactisIamtoosociallydisposedtobeabletolivecontentedlywithoutafriend；andastheonlyfriendsIhave，oramlikelytohave，areathome，ifit-orrather，iftheyweregone-IwillnotsayIcouldnotlive-butIwouldrathernotliveinsuchadesolateworld。"

"Butwhydoyousaytheonlyfriendsyouarelikelytohave？Areyousounsociablethatyoucannotmakefriends？"

"No，butInevermadeoneyet；andinmypresentpositionthereisnopossibilityofdoingso，orevenofformingacommonacquaintance。Thefaultmaybepartlyinmyself，butIhopenotaltogether。"

"Thefaultispartlyinsociety，andpartly，Ishouldthink，inyourimmediateneighbours:andpartly，too，inyourself；formanyladies，inyourposition，wouldmakethemselvesbenoticedandaccountedof。Butyourpupilsshouldbecompanionsforyouinsomedegree；theycannotbemanyyearsyoungerthanyourself。"

"Oh，yes，theyaregoodcompanysometimes；butIcannotcallthemfriends，norwouldtheythinkofbestowingsuchanameonme-theyhaveothercompanionsbettersuitedtotheirtastes。"

"Perhapsyouaretoowiseforthem。Howdoyouamuseyourselfwhenalone-doyoureadmuch？"

"Readingismyfavouriteoccupation，whenIhaveleisureforitandbookstoread。"

Fromspeakingofbooksingeneral，hepassedtodifferentbooksinparticular，andproceededbyrapidtransitionsfromtopictotopic，tillseveralmatters，bothoftasteandopinion，hadbeendiscussedconsiderablywithinthespaceofhalfanhour，butwithouttheembellishmentofmanyobservationsfromhimself；hebeingevidentlylessbentuponcommunicatinghisownthoughtsandpredilections，thanondiscoveringmine。Hehadnotthetact，ortheart，toeffectsuchapurposebyskilfullydrawingoutmysentimentsorideasthroughtherealorapparentstatementofhisown，orleadingtheconversationbyimperceptiblegradationstosuchtopicsashewishedtoadvertto:butsuchgentleabruptness，andsuchsingle-

mindedstraightforwardness，couldnotpossiblyoffendme。

"Andwhyshouldheinteresthimselfatallinmymoralandintellectualcapacities:whatisittohimwhatIthinkorfeel？"

Iaskedmyself。Andmyheartthrobbedinanswertothequestion。

ButJaneandSusanGreensoonreachedtheirhome。Astheystoodparleyingatthepark-gates，attemptingtopersuadeMissMurraytocomein，IwishedMr。Westonwouldgo，thatshemightnotseehimwithmewhensheturnedround；but，unfortunately，hisbusiness，whichwastopayonemorevisittopoorMarkWood，ledhimtopursuethesamepathaswedid，tillnearlythecloseofourjourney。When，however，hesawthatRosaliehadtakenleaveofherfriendsandIwasabouttojoinher，hewouldhaveleftmeandpassedonataquickerpace；but，ashecivillyliftedhishatinpassingher，tomysurprise，insteadofreturningthesalutewithastiff，ungraciousbow，sheaccostedhimwithoneofhersweetestsmiles，and，walkingbyhisside，begantotalktohimwithallimaginablecheerfulnessandaffability；andsoweproceededallthreetogether。

Afterashortpauseintheconversation，Mr。Westonmadesomeremarkaddressedparticularlytome，asreferringtosomethingwehadbeentalkingofbefore；butbeforeIcouldanswer，MissMurrayrepliedtotheobservationandenlargeduponit:herejoined；

and，fromthencetothecloseoftheinterview，sheengrossedhimentirelytoherself。Itmightbepartlyowingtomyownstupidity，mywantoftactandassurance:butIfeltmyselfwronged:

I

trembledwithapprehension；andIlistenedwithenvytohereasy，rapidflowofutterance，andsawwithanxietythebrightsmilewithwhichshelookedintohisfacefromtimetotime:forshewaswalkingalittleinadvance，forthepurpose(asIjudged)ofbeingseenaswellasheard。Ifherconversationwaslightandtrivial，itwasamusing，andshewasneveratalossforsomethingtosay，orforsuitablewordstoexpressitin。Therewasnothingpertorflippantinhermannernow，aswhenshewalkedwithMr。Hatfield，therewasonlyagentle，playfulkindofvivacity，whichIthoughtmustbepeculiarlypleasingtoamanofMr。Weston"sdispositionandtemperament。

Whenhewasgoneshebegantolaugh，andmutteredtoherself，"I

thoughtIcoulddoit!"

"Dowhat？"Iasked。

"Fixthatman。"

"Whatintheworlddoyoumean？"

"Imeanthathewillgohomeanddreamofme。Ihaveshothimthroughtheheart!"

"Howdoyouknow？"

"Bymanyinfallibleproofs:moreespeciallythelookhegavemewhenhewentaway。Itwasnotanimpudentlook-Iexoneratehimfromthat-itwasalookofreverential，tenderadoration。Ha，ha!he"snotquitesuchastupidblockheadasIthoughthim!"

Imadenoanswer，formyheartwasinmythroat，orsomethinglikeit，andIcouldnottrustmyselftospeak。"OGod，avertit!"

I

cried，internally-"forhissake，notformine!"

MissMurraymadeseveraltrivialobservationsaswepassedupthepark，towhich(inspiteofmyreluctancetoletoneglimpseofmyfeelingsappear)Icouldonlyanswerbymonosyllables。Whethersheintendedtotormentme，ormerelytoamuseherself，Icouldnottell-anddidnotmuchcare；butIthoughtofthepoormanandhisonelamb，andtherichmanwithhisthousandflocks；andIdreadedIknewnotwhatforMr。Weston，independentlyofmyownblightedhopes。

RightgladwasItogetintothehouse，andfindmyselfaloneoncemoreinmyownroom。Myfirstimpulsewastosinkintothechairbesidethebed；andlayingmyheadonthepillow，toseekreliefinapassionateburstoftears:therewasanimperativecravingforsuchanindulgence；but，alas!Imustrestrainandswallowbackmyfeelingsstill:therewasthebell-theodiousbellfortheschoolroomdinner；andImustgodownwithacalmface，andsmile，andlaugh，andtalknonsense-yes，andeat，too，ifpossible，asifallwasright，andIwasjustreturnedfromapleasantwalk。

chapter16

CHAPTERXVI-THESUBSTITUTION

NEXTSundaywasoneofthegloomiestofAprildays-adayofthick，darkclouds，andheavyshowers。NoneoftheMurraysweredisposedtoattendchurchintheafternoon，exceptingRosalie: