第18章

Anditwasrequiredofmethatthisshouldbethegravestofresponsibilities，forshewastheonewomanintheworld——theonesmallwoman，asIlovedtothinkofher。TheSeaWolf：Chapter30CHAPTER30

NowonderwecalleditEndeavorIsland。Fortwoweekswetoiledatbuildingahut。Maudinsistedonhelping，andIcouldhaveweptoverherbruisedandbleedinghands。Andstill，Iwasproudofherbecauseofit。Therewassomethingheroicaboutthisgentlybredwomanenduringourterriblehardshipandwithherpittanceofstrengthbendingtothetasksofapeasantwoman。ShegatheredmanyofthestoneswhichIbuiltintothewallsofthehut；also，sheturnedadeafeartomyentreatieswhenIbeggedhertodesist。Shecompromised，however，bytakinguponherselfthelighterlaborsofcookingandgatheringdriftwoodandmossforourwinter’ssupply。

Thehut’swallsrosewithoutdifficulty，andeverythingwentsmoothlyuntiltheproblemoftheroofconfrontedme。Ofwhatusethefourwallswithoutaroof？Andofwhatcouldaroofbemade？Therewerethespareoars，verytrue。Theywouldserveasroof—beams；butwithwhatwasItocoverthem？Mosswouldneverdo。Tundragrasswasimpracticable。Weneededthesailfortheboat，andthetarpaulinhadbeguntoleak。

"Wintersusedwalrusskinsonhishut，"Isaid。

"Therearetheseals，"shesuggested。

Sonextdaythehuntingbegan。Ididnotknowhowtoshoot，butIproceededtolearn。AndwhenIhadexpendedsomethirtyshellsforthreeseals，I

decidedthattheammunitionwouldbeexhaustedbeforeIacquiredthenecessaryknowledge。IhadusedeightshellsforlightingfiresbeforeIhituponthedeviceofbankingtheemberswithwetmoss，andthereremainednotoverahundredshellsinthebox。

"Wemustclubtheseals，"Iannounced，whenconvincedofmypoormarksmanship。

"Ihaveheardthesealerstalkaboutclubbingthem。"

"Theyaresopretty，"sheobjected。"Icannotbeartothinkofitbeingdone。Itissodirectlybrutal，youknow；sodifferentfromshootingthem。"

"Thatroofmustgoon，"Iansweredgrimly。"Winterisalmosthere。Itisourlivesagainsttheirs。Itisunfortunatewehaven’tplentyofammunition，butIthink，anyway，thattheysufferlessfrombeingclubbedthanfrombeingallshotup。Besides，Ishalldotheclubbing。"

"That’sjustit，"shebeganeagerly，andbrokeoffinsuddenconfusion。

"Ofcourse，"Ibegan。"Ifyouprefer——"

"ButwhatshallIbedoing？"sheinterrupted，withthatsoftnessIknewfullwelltobeinsistence。

"Gatheringfirewoodandcookingdinner，"Iansweredlightly。

Sheshookherhead。"Itistoodangerousforyoutoattemptalone。"

"Iknow，Iknow，"shewaivedmyprotest。"Iamonlyaweakwoman，butjustmysmallassistancemayenableyoutoescapedisaster。"

"Buttheclubbing？"Isuggested。

"Ofcourse，youwilldothat。Ishallprobablyscream。I’lllookawaywhen——"

"Thedangerismostserious，"Ilaughed。

"Ishallusemyjudgmentwhentolookandwhennottolook，"sherepliedwithagrandair。

Theupshotoftheaffairwasthatsheaccompaniedmenextmorning。I

rowedintotheadjoiningcoveanduptotheedgeofthebeach。Thereweresealsallaboutusinthewater，andthebellowingthousandsonthebeachcompelledustoshoutateachothertomakeourselvesheard。

"Iknowmenclubthem，"Isaid，tryingtoreassuremyselfandgazingdoubtfullyatalargebull，notthirtyfeetaway，uprearedonhisfore—flippersandregardingmeintently。"Butthequestionis，Howdotheyclubthem？"

"Letusgathertundragrassandthatchtheroof，"Maudsaid。

ShewasasfrightenedasIattheprospect，andwehadreasontobe，gazingatcloserangeatthegleamingteethanddog—likemouths。

"Ialwaysthoughttheywereafraidofmen，"Isaid。

"HowdoIknowtheyarenotafraid？"Iqueriedamomentlater，afterhavingrowedafewmorestrokesalongthebeach。"Perhaps，ifIweretostepboldlyashore，theywouldcutforit，andcouldnotcatchupwithone。"

AndstillIhesitated。

"Iheardofaman，once，whoinvadedthenestinggroundsofwildgeese，"

Maudsaid。"Theykilledhim。"

"Thegeese？"

"Yes，thegeese。MybrothertoldmeaboutitwhenIwasalittlegirl。"

"ButIknowmenclubthem，"Ipersisted。

"Ithinkthetundragrasswillmakejustasgoodaroof，"shesaid。

Farfromherintention，herwordsweremaddeningme，drivingmeon。

Icouldnotplaythecowardbeforehereyes。

"Heregoes，"Isaid，backingwaterwithoneoarandrunningthebowashore。

Isteppedoutandadvancedvaliantlyuponalong—manedbullinthemidstofhiswives。Iwasarmedwiththeregularclubwithwhichtheboat—pullerskilledthewoundedsealsgaffedaboardbythehunters。Itwasonlyafootandahalflong，andinmysuperbignoranceIneverdreamedthattheclubusedashorewhenraidingtherookeriesmeasuredfourtofivefeet。Thecowslumberedoutofmyway，andthedistancebetweenmeandthebulldecreased。

Heraisedhimselfonhisflipperswithanangrymovement。Wewereadozenfeetapart。StillIadvancedsteadily，lookingforhimtoturntailatanymomentandrun。

Atsixfeetthepanickythoughtrushedintomymind，Whatifhewillnotrun？Why，thenIshallclubhim，cametheanswer。InmyfearIhadforgottenthatIwastheretogetthebullinsteadoftomakehimrun。

Andjustthenhegaveasnortandasnarlandrushedatme。Hiseyeswereblazing，hismouthwaswideopen；theteethgleamedcruellywhite。Withoutshame，IconfessthatitwasIwhoturnedandfootedit。Heranawkwardly，butheranwell。Hewasbuttwopacesbehindwhentumbledintotheboat，andasIshovedoffwithanoarhisteethcruncheddownupontheblade。

Thestoutwoodwascrushedlikeanegg—shell。MaudandIwereastounded。

Amomentlaterhehaddivedundertheboat，seizedthekeelinhismouth，andwasshakingtheboatviolently。

"My！"saidMaud。"Let’sgoback。"

Ishookmyhead。"Icandowhatothermenhavedone，andknowthatothermenhaveclubbedseals。ButIthinkI’llleavethebullsalonenexttime。"

"Iwishyouwouldn’t，"shesaid。

"Nowdon’tsay，`Please，please，’"Icried，halfangrily，Idobelieve。

Shemadenoreply，andIknewmytonemusthavehurther。

"Ibegyourpardon，"Isaid，orshouted，rather，inordertomakemyselfheardabovetheroaroftherookery。"Ifyousayso，I’llturnandgoback；

buthonestly，I’dratherstay。"

"Nowdon’tsaythatthisiswhatyougetforbringingawomanalong，"

shesaid。Shesmiledatmewhimsically，gloriously，andIknewtherewasnoneedforforgiveness。

Irowedacoupleofhundredfeetalongthebeachsoastorecovermynerves，andthensteppedashoreagain。

"Dobecautious，"shecalledafterme。

Inoddedmyheadandproceededtomakeaflankattackonthenearestharem。AllwentwelluntilIaimedablowatanoutlyingcow’sheadandfellshort。Shesnortedandtriedtoscrambleaway。Iranincloseandstruckanotherblow，hittingtheshoulderinsteadofthehead。

"Watchout！"IheardMaudscream。

InmyexcitementIhadnotbeentakingnoticeofotherthings，andI

lookeduptoseethelordoftheharemchargingdownuponme。AgainIfledtotheboat，hotlypursued；butthistimeMaudmadenosuggestionofturningback。

"Itwouldbebetter，Iimagine，ifyouletharemsaloneanddevotedyourattentiontolonelyandinoffensive—lookingseals，"waswhatshesaid。

"IthinkIhavereadsomethingaboutthem。Dr。Jordan’sbook，Ibelieve。

Theyaretheyoungbulls，notoldenoughtohaveharemsoftheirown。Hecalledthemtheholluschickie，orsomethinglikethat。Itseemstomeifwefindwheretheyhaulout——"

"Itseemstomethatyourfightinginstinctisaroused，"laughed。

Sheflushedquicklyandprettily。"I’lladmitIdon’tlikedefeatanymorethanyoudo，oranymorethanIliketheideaofkillingsuchpretty，inoffensivecreatures。"

"Pretty！"Isniffed。"Ifailedtomarkanythingpreeminentlyprettyaboutthosefoamy—mouthedbeaststhatracedme。"

"Yourpointofview，"shelaughed。"Youlackedperspective。Nowifyoudidnothavetogetsoclosetothesubject——"

"Theverything！"Icried。"WhatIneedisalongerclub。Andthere’sthatbrokenoarreadytohand。"

"Itjustcomestome，"shesaid，"thatCaptainLarsenwastellingmehowthemenraidedtherookeries。Theydrivetheseals，insmallherds，ashortdistanceinlandbeforetheykillthem。"

"Idon’tcaretoundertaketheherdingofoneofthoseharems，"Iobjected。

"Buttherearetheholluschickie，"shesaid。"Theholluschickiehauloutbythemselves，andDr。Jordansaysthatpathsareleftbetweentheharems，andthataslongastheholluschickiekeepstrictlytothepaththeyareunmolestedbythemastersoftheharem。"

"There’sonenow，"Isaid，pointingtoayoungbullinthewater。"Let’swatchhim，andfollowhimifhehaulsout。"

Heswamdirectlytothebeachandclamberedoutintoasmallopeningbetweentwoharems，themastersofwhichmadewarningnoisesbutdidnotattackhim。Wewatchedhimtravelslowlyinward，threadingaboutamongtheharemsalongwhatmusthavebeenthepath。

"Heregoes，"Isaid，steppingout；butIconfessmyheartwasinmymouthasIthoughtofgoingthroughtheheartofthatmonstrousherd。

"Itwouldbewisetomaketheboatfast，"Maudsaid。

Shehadsteppedoutbesideme，andIregardedherwithwonderment。

Shenoddedherheaddeterminedly。"Yes，I’mgoingwithyou，soyoumayaswellsecuretheboatandarmmewithaclub。"

"Let’sgoback，"Isaiddejectedly。"Ithinktundragrasswilldo，afterall。"

"Youknowitwon’t，"washerreply。"ShallIlead？"

Withashrugoftheshoulders，butwiththewarmestadmirationandprideatheartforthiswoman，Iequippedherwiththebrokenoarandtookanotherformyself。Itwaswithnervoustrepidationthatwemadethefirstfewrodsofthejourney。OnceMaudscreamedinterrorasacowthrustaninquisitivenosetowardherfoot，andseveraltimesIquickenedmypaceforthesamereason。But，beyondwarningcoughsfromeitherside，therewerenosignsofhostility。Itwasarookerywhichhadneverbeenraidedbythehunters，andinconsequencethesealsweremild—temperedandatthesametimeunafraid。

Intheveryheartoftheherdthedinwasterrific。Itwasalmostdizzyinginitseffect。IpausedandsmiledreassuringlyatMaud，forIhadrecoveredmyequanimitysoonerthanshe。Icouldseethatshewasstillbadlyfrightened。

Shecameclosetomeandshouted：

"I’mdreadfullyafraid！"

AndIwasnot。Thoughthenoveltyhadnotyetwornoff，thepeacefulcomportmentofthesealshadquietedmyalarm。Maudwastrembling。

"I’mafraid，andI’mnotafraid，"shechatteredwithshakingjaws。"It’smymiserablebody，notI。"

"It’sallright，it’sallright，"Ireassuredher，myarmpassinginstinctivelyandprotectinglyaroundher。

Ishallneverforget，inthatmoment，howinstantlyconsciousbecameofmymanhood。Theprimitivedeepsofmynaturestirred。Ifeltmyselfmasculine，theprotectoroftheweak，thefightingmale。And，bestofall，Ifeltmyselftheprotectorofmylovedone。Sheleanedagainstme，solightandlily—frail，andashertremblingeasedawayitseemedasthoughIbecameawareofprodigiousstrength。Ifeltmyselfamatchforthemostferociousbullintheherd，andIknow，hadsuchabullchargeduponme，thatIshouldhavemetitunflinchinglyandquitecoolly，andIknowthatIshouldhavekilledit。

"Iamallright，now，"shesaid，lookingupatmegratefully。"Letusgoon。"

Andthatthestrengthinmehadquietedherandgivenherconfidence，filledmewithanexultantjoy。Theyouthoftheraceseemedburgeoninginme，over—civilizedmanthatIwas，andIlivedformyselftheoldhuntingdaysandforestnightsofmyremoteandforgottenancestry。IhadmuchforwhichtothankWolfLarsen，wasmythoughtaswewentalongthepathbetweenthejostlingharems。

Aquarterofamileinlandwecameupontheholluschickie——sleekyoungbulls，livingoutthelonelinessoftheirbachelorhoodandgatheringstrengthagainstthedaywhentheywouldfighttheirwayintotheranksofthebenedicts。

Everythingnowwentsmoothly。Iseemedtoknowjustwhattodoandhowtodoit。Shouting，makingthreateninggestureswithmyclub，andevenproddingthelazyones，Iquicklycutoutascoreoftheyoungbachelorsfromtheircompanions。Wheneveronemadeanattempttobreakbacktowardthewater，Iheadeditoff。Maudtookanactivepartinthedrive，andwithhercriesandflourishingsofthebrokenoarwasofconsiderableassistance。

Inoticed，though，thatwheneveronelookedtiredandlagged，sheletitslippast。ButInoticed，also，wheneverone，withashowoffight，triedtobreakpast，thathereyesglintedandshowedbright，andsherappeditsmartlywithherclub。

"My，it’sexciting！"shecried，pausingfromsheerweakness。"IthinkI’llsitdown。"

Idrovethelittleherd（adozenstrong，now，whatoftheescapesshehadpermitted）ahundredyardsfartheron；andbythetimeshejoinedmeIhadfinishedtheslaughterandwasbeginningtoskin。Anhourlaterwewentproudlybackalongthepathbetweentheharems。Andtwiceagainwecamedownthepathburdenedwithskins，tillthoughtwehadenoughtoroofthehut。Isetthesail，laidonetackoutofthecove，andontheothertackmadeourownlittleinnercove。

"It’sjustlikehome—coming，"Maudsaid，asIrantheboatashore。

Iheardherwordswitharesponsivethrill，itwasallsodearlyintimateandnatural，andIsaid：

"ItseemsasthoughIhavelivedthislifealways。Theworldofbooksandbookishfolkisveryvague，morelikeadreammemorythananactuality。

Isurelyhavehuntedandforayedandfoughtallthedaysofmylife。Andyou，too，seemapartofit。Youare——"Iwasonthevergeofsaying，"mywoman，mymate，"butgliblychangeditto——"standingthehardshipwell。"

Butherearhadcaughttheflaw。Sherecognizedaflightthatmidmostbroke。Shegavemeaquicklook。

"Notthat。Youweresaying——？"

"ThattheAmericanMrs。Meynellwaslivingthelifeofasavageandlivingitquitesuccessfully，"Isaideasily。

"Oh，"wasallshereplied；butIcouldhavesworntherewasanoteofdisappointmentinhervoice。

But"mywoman，mymate"keptringinginmyheadfortherestofthedayandformanydays。Yetneverdiditringmoreloudlythanthatnight，asIwatchedherdrawbacktheblanketofmossfromthecoals，blowupthefire，andcooktheeveningmeal。Itmusthavebeenlatentsavagerystirringinme，fortheoldwords，soboundupwiththerootsoftherace，togripmeandthrillme。Andgripandthrilltheydid，tillIfellasleep，murmuringthemtomyselfoverandoveragain。TheSeaWolf：Chapter31CHAPTER31

Itwillsmell，"Isaid，"butitwillkeepintheheatandkeepouttherainandsnow。"

Weweresurveyingthecompletedsealskinroof。

"Itisclumsy，butitwillservethepurpose，andthatisthemainthing，"

Iwenton，yearningforherpraise。

Andsheclappedherhandsanddeclaredthatshewashugelypleased。

"Butitisdarkinhere，"shesaidthenextmoment，hershouldersshrinkingwithalittleinvoluntaryshiver。

"Youmighthavesuggestedawindowwhenthewallsweregoingup，"I

said。"Itwasforyou，andyoushouldhaveseentheneedofawindow。"

"ButIneverdoseetheobvious，youknow，"shelaughedback。"Andbesides，youcanknockaholeinthewallatanytime。"

"Quitetrue；Ihadnotthoughtofit，"Ireplied，waggingmyheadsagely。

"Buthaveyouthoughtoforderingthewindow—glass？Justcallupthefirm，——Red，4451，Ithinkitis，——andtellthemwhatsizeandkindofglassyouwish。"

"Thatmeans——"shebegan。

"Nowindow。"

Itwasadarkandevil—appearingthing，thathut，notfitforaughtbetterthanswineinacivilizedland；butforus，whohadknownthemiseryoftheopenboat，itwasasnuglittlehabitation。Followingthehousewarming，whichwasaccomplishedbymeansofseal—oilandawickmadefromcottoncalking，camethehuntingforourwinter’smeatandthebuildingofthesecondhut。Itwasasimpleaffair，now，togoforthinthemorningandreturnbynoonwithaboat—loadofseals。Andthen，whileIworkedatbuildingthehut，Maudtriedouttheoilfromtheblubberandkeptaslowfireundertheframesofmeat。Ihadheardofjerkingbeefontheplains，andourseal—meat，cutinthinstripsandhunginthesmoke，curedexcellently。

Thesecondhutwaseasiertoerect，forIbuiltitagainstthefirst，andonlythreewallswererequired。Butitwaswork，hardwork，allofit。MaudandIworkedfromdawntilldark，tothelimitofourstrength，sothatwhennightcamewecrawledstifflytobedandslepttheanimal—likesleepofexhaustion。AndyetMauddeclaredthatshehadneverfeltbetterorstrongerinherlife。Iknewthiswastrueofmyself，butherswassuchalilystrengththatIfearedshewouldbreakdown。Oftenandoften，herlastreserveforcegone，Ihaveseenherstretchedflatonherbackonthesandinthewayshehadofrestingandrecuperating。Andthenshewouldbeuponherfeetandtoilinghardasever。Wheresheobtainedthisstrengthwasthemarveltome。

"Thinkofthelongrestthiswinter，"washerreplytomyremonstrances。

"Why，we’llbeclamorousforsomethingtodo。"

Weheldahousewarminginmyhutthenightitwasroofed。Itwastheendofthethirddayofafiercestormwhichhadswungaroundthecompassfromthesoutheasttothenorthwest，andwhichwasthenblowingdirectlyinuponus。Thebeachesoftheoutercovewerethunderingwiththesurf，andeveninourland—lockedinnercovearespectableseawasbreaking。

Nohighbackboneofislandshelteredusfromthewind，anditwhistledandbellowedaboutthehuttillattimesIfearedforthestrengthofthewalls。Theskinroof，stretchedtightlyasadrum—headIhadthought，saggedandbelliedwitheverygust；andinnumerableintersticesinthewalls，notsotightlystuffedwithmossasMaudhadsupposed，disclosedthemselves。

Yettheseal—oilburnedbrightlyandwewerewarmandcomfortable。

Itwasapleasanteveningindeed，andwevotedthatasasocialfunctiononEndeavorIslandithadnotyetbeeneclipsed。Ourmindswereatease。

Notonlyhadweresignedourselvestothebitterwinter，butwewerepreparedforit。Thesealscoulddepartontheirmysteriousjourneyintothesouthatanytime，now，forallwecared；andthestormsheldnoterrorforus。

Notonlywerewesureofbeingdryandwarmandshelteredfromthewind，butwehadthesoftestandmostluxuriousmattressesthatcouldbemadefrommoss。ThishadbeenMaud’sidea，andshehadherselfjealouslygatheredallthemoss。Thiswastobemyfirstnightonthemattress，andIknewIshouldsleepthesweeterbecauseshehadmadeit。

Assherosetogosheturnedtomewiththewhimsicalwayshehad，andsaid：

"Somethingisgoingtohappen——ishappening，forthatmatter。Ifeelit。Somethingiscominghere，tous。Itiscomingnow。Idon’tknowwhat，butitiscoming。"

"Goodorbad？"Iasked。

Sheshookherhead。"Idon’tknow，butitisthere，somewhere。"

Shepointedinthedirectionoftheseaandwind。

"It’saleeshore，"Ilaughed，"andIamsureI’dratherbeherethanarriving，anightlikethis。"

"Youarenotfrightened？"Iasked，asIsteppedtoopenthedoorforher。

Hereyeslookedbravelyintomine。

"Andyoufeelwell？perfectlywell？"

"Neverbetter，"washeranswer。

Wetalkedalittlelongerbeforeshewent。

"Goodnight，Maud，"Isaid。

"Goodnight，Humphrey，"shesaid。

Thisuseofourgivennameshadcomeaboutquiteasamatterofcourse，andwasasunpremeditatedasitwasnatural。Inthatmomentcouldhaveputmyarmsaroundheranddrawnhertome。Ishouldcertainlyhavedonesooutinthatworldtowhichwebelonged。Asitwas，thesituationstoppedthereintheonlywayitcould；butIwasleftaloneinmylittlehut，glowingwarmlythroughandthroughwithapleasantsatisfaction；andI

knewthatatie，oratacitsomething，existedbetweenuswhichhadnotexistedbefore。TheSeaWolf：Chapter32CHAPTER32

Iawoke，oppressedbyamysterioussensation。Thereseemedsomethingmissinginmyenvironment。Butthemysteryandoppressivenessvanishedafterthefirstfewsecondsofwaking，whenIidentifiedthemissingsomethingasthewind。Ihadfallenasleepinthatstateofnervetensionwithwhichonemeetsthecontinuousshockofsoundormovement，andIhadawakened，stilltense，bracingmyselftomeetthepressureofsomethingwhichnolongerboreuponme。

ItwasthefirstnightIhadspentundercoverinseveralmonths，andIlayluxuriouslyforsomeminutesundermyblankets，（foroncenotwetwithfogorspray），analyzing，first，theeffectproduceduponmebythecessationofthewind，andnext，thejoywhichwasminefromrestingonthemattressmadebyMaud’shands。WhenIhaddressedandopenedthedoor，Iheardthewavesstilllappingonthebeach，garrulouslyattestingthefuryofthenight。Itwasaclearday，andthesunwasshining。Ihadsleptlate，andIsteppedoutsidewithsuddenenergy，bentuponmakinguplosttimeasbefittedadwelleronEndeavorIsland。

Andwhenoutside，Istoppedshort。Ibelievedmyeyeswithoutquestion，andyetIwasforthemomentstunnedbywhattheydisclosedtome。There，onthebeach，notfiftyfeetaway，bowon，dismasted，wasablack—hulledvessel。Mastsandbooms，tangledwithshrouds，sheets，andrentcanvas，wererubbinggentlyalongside。IcouldhaverubbedmyeyesasIlooked。

Therewasthehome—madegalleywehadbuilt，thefamiliarbreakofthepoop，thelowyacht—cabinscarcelyrisingabovetherail。ItwastheGhost。

Whatfreakoffortunehadbroughtithere——hereofallspots？whatchanceofchances？Ilookedatthebleak，inaccessiblewallatmybackandknewtheprofundityofdespair。Escapewashopeless，outofthequestion。

IthoughtofMaud，asleepthereinthehutwehadreared；Irememberedher"Goodnight，Humphrey"；"mywoman，mymate，"wentringingthroughmybrain，butnow，alas，itwasaknellthatsounded。Theneverythingwentblackbeforemyeyes。

Possiblyitwasthefractionofasecond，butIhadnoknowledgeofhowlonganintervalhadlapsedbeforeIwasmyselfagain。TherelaytheGhost，bowontothebeach，hersplinteredbowspritprojectingoverthesand，hertangledsparsrubbingagainsthersidetotheliftofthecrooningwaves。Somethingmustbedone，mustbedone。

Itcameuponmesuddenly，asstrange，thatnothingmovedaboard。Weariedfromthenightofstruggleandwreck，allhandswereyetasleep，Ithought。

MynextthoughtwasthatMaudandImightyetescape。Ifwecouldtaketotheboatandmakearoundthepointbeforeanyoneawoke？Iwouldcallherandstart。Myhandwasliftedatherdoortoknock，whenIrecollectedthesmallnessoftheisland。Wecouldneverhideourselvesuponit。Therewasnothingforusbutthewiderawocean。Ithoughtofoursnuglittlehuts，oursuppliesofmeatandoilandmossandfirewood，andIknewthatwecouldneversurvivethewintryseaandthegreatstormswhichweretocome。

SoIstood，withhesitantknuckle，withoutherdoor。Itwasimpossible，impossible。Awildthoughtofrushinginandkillingherasshesleptroseinmymind。Andthen，inaflash，thebettersolutioncametome。Allhandswereasleep。WhynotcreepaboardtheGhost，——wellIknewthewaytoWolfLarsen’sbunk，——andkillhiminhissleep？Afterthat——

well，wewouldsee。Butwithhimdeadtherewastimeandspaceinwhichtopreparetodootherthings；andbesides，whatevernewsituationarose，itcouldnotpossiblybeworsethanthepresentone。

Myknifewasatmyhip。Ireturnedtomyhutfortheshotgun，madesureitwasloaded，andwentdowntotheGhost。Withsomedifficulty，andattheexpenseofawettingtothewaist，Iclimbedaboard。Theforecastlescuttlewasopen。Ipausedtolistenforthebreathingofthemen，buttherewasnobreathing。Ialmostgaspedasthethoughtcametome：WhatiftheGhostisdeserted？Ilistenedmoreclosely。Therewasnosound。Icautiouslydescendedtheladder。Theplacehadtheemptyandmustyfeelandsmellusualtoadwellingnolongerinhabited。Everywherewasathicklitterofdiscardedandraggedgarments，oldsea—boots，leakyoilskins——alltheworthlessforecastledunnageofalongvoyage。

Abandonedhastily，wasmyconclusion，asIascendedtothedeck。Hopewasaliveagaininmybreast，andIlookedaboutmewithgreatercoolness。

Inotedthattheboatsweremissing。Thesteeragetoldthesametaleastheforecastle。Thehuntershadpackedtheirbelongingswithsimilarhaste。

TheGhostwasdeserted。ItwasMaud’sandmine。Ithoughtoftheship’sstoresandthelazarettebeneaththecabin，andtheideacametomeofsurprisingMaudwithsomethingniceforbreakfast。

Thereactionfrommyfear，andtheknowledgethattheterribledeedIhadcometodowasnolongernecessary，mademeboyishandeager。Iwentupthesteeragecompanionwaytwostepsatatime，withnothingdistinctinmymindexceptjoyandthehopethatMaudwouldsleeponuntilthesurprisebreakfastwasquitereadyforher。AsIroundedthegalley，anewsatisfactionwasmineatthoughtofallthesplendidcookingutensilsinside。Isprangupthebreakofthepoop，andsaw——WolfLarsen。Whatofmyimpetusandthestunningsurprise，IclatteredthreeorfourstepsalongthedeckbeforeIcouldstopmyself。Hewasstandinginthecompanionway，onlyhisheadandshouldersvisible，staringstraightatme。Hisarmswererestingonthehalf—openslide。Hemadenomovementwhatever——simplystoodthere，staringatme。

Ibegantotremble。Theoldstomachsicknessclutchedme。putonehandontheedgeofthehousetosteadymyself。MylipsseemedsuddenlydryandImoistenedthemagainsttheneedofspeech。Nordidforaninstanttakemyeyesoffhim。Neitherofusspoke。Therewassomethingominousinhissilence，hisimmobility。Allmyoldfearofhimreturnedandbynewfearwasincreasedanhundredfold。Andstillwestood，thepairofus，staringateachother。

Iwasawareofthedemandforaction，and，myoldhelplessnessstronguponme，Iwaswaitingforhimtotaketheinitiative。Then，asthemomentswentby，itcametomethatthesituationwasanalogoustotheoneinwhichIhadapproachedthelong—manedbull，myintentionofclubbingobscuredbyfearuntilitbecameadesiretomakehimrun。SoitwasatlastimpresseduponmethatIwasthere，nottohaveWolfLarsentaketheinitiative，buttotakeitmyself。

Icockedbothbarrelsandlevelledtheshotgunathim。Hadhemoved，attemptedtodropdownthecompanionway，IknowIwouldhaveshothim。