第17章
"IwishIhadthoughttobringWolfLarsen’schronometerandsextant，"
Isaid，stillgloomily。"Sailingonedirection，driftinganotherdirection，tosaynothingofthesetofthecurrentinsomethirddirection，makesaresultantwhichdeadreckoningcannevercalculate。Beforelongwewon’tknowwherewearebyfivehundredmiles。"
ThenIbeggedherpardonandpromisedIshouldnotbedisheartenedanymore。AthersolicitationIlethertakethewatchtillmidnight，——itwasthennineo’clock，butIwrappedherinblanketsandputanoilskinaboutherbeforeIlaydown。Isleptonlycat—naps。Theboatwasleapingandpoundingasitfelloverthecrests，Icouldheartheseasrushingpast，andspraywascontinuallybeingthrownaboard。Andstill，itwasnotabadnight，Imused——nothingtothenightsIhadbeenthroughontheGhost；nothing，perhaps，tothenightsweshouldgothroughinthiscockle—shell。Itsplankingwasthree—quartersofaninchthick。
Betweenusandthebottomoftheseawaslessthananinchofwood。
Andyet，Iaverit，andIaveritagain，Iwasunafraid。ThedeathwhichWolfLarsenandevenThomasMugridgehadmademefear，Inolongerfeared。
ThecomingofMaudBrewsterintomylifeseemedtohavetransformedme。
Afterall，Ithought，itisbetterandfinertolovethantobeloved，ifitmakessomethinginlifesoworthwhilethatoneisnotloathtodieforit。Iforgetmyownlifeintheloveofanotherlife；andyet，suchistheparadox，IneverwantedsomuchtoliveasrightnowwhenIplacetheleastvalueuponmyownlife。Ineverhadsomuchreasonforliving，wasmyconcludingthought；andafterthat，untilIdozed，IcontentedmyselfwithtryingtopiercethedarknesstowhereIknewMaudcrouchedlowinthestern—sheets，watchfulofthefoamingseaandreadytocallmeonaninstant’snotice。TheSeaWolf：Chapter28CHAPTER28
Thereisnoneedofgoingintoanextendedrecitalofoursufferinginthesmallboatduringthemanydaysweweredrivenanddrifted，hereandthere，willy—nilly，acrosstheocean。Thehighwindblewfromthenorthwestfortwenty—fourhours，whenitfellcalm，andinthenightsprangupfromthesouthwest。Thiswasdeadinourteeth，butItookinthesea—anchorandsetsail，haulingacourseonthewindwhichtookusinasouth—southeasterlydirection。Itwasanevenchoicebetweenthisandthewest—northwesterlycoursewhichthewindpermitted；butthewarmairsofthesouthfannedmydesireforawarmerseaandswayedmydecision。
Inthreehours，——itwasmidnight，Iwellremember，andasdarkasIhadeverseenitonthesea，——thewind，stillblowingoutofthesouthwest，rosefuriously，andonceagainIwascompelledtosetthesea—anchor。
Daybrokeandfoundmewan—eyedandtheoceanlashedwhite，theboatpitching，almostonend，toitsdrag。Wewereinimminentdangerofbeingswampedbythewhitecaps。Asitwas，sprayandspumecameaboardinsuchquantitiesthatIbailedwithoutcessation。Theblanketsweresoaking。
EverythingwaswetexceptMaud，andshe，inoilskins，rubberboots，andsou’wester，wasdry，allbutherfaceandhandsandastraywispofhair。
Sherelievedmeatthebailing—holefromtimetotime，andbravelyshethrewoutthewaterandfacedthestorm。Allthingsarerelative。Itwasnomorethanastiffblow，buttous，fightingforlifeinourfrailcraft，itwasindeedastorm。
Coldandcheerless，thewindbeatingonourfaces，thewhiteseasroaringby，westruggledthroughtheday。Nightcame，butneitherofusslept。
Daycame，andstillthewindbeatonourfacesandthewhiteseasroaredpast。BythesecondnightMaudwasfallingasleepfromexhaustion。Icoveredherwithoilskinsandatarpaulin。Shewascomparativelydry，butshewasnumbwiththecold。Ifearedgreatlythatshemightdieinthenight；butdaybroke，coldandcheerless，withthesamecloudedskyandbeatingwindandroaringseas。
Ihadhadnosleepforforty—eighthours。Iwaswetandchilledtothemarrow，tillIfeltmoredeadthanalive。Mybodywasstifffromexertionaswellasfromcold，andmyachingmusclesgavemetheseveresttorturewheneverIusedthem，andIusedthemcontinually。Andallthetimewewerebeingdrivenoffintothenortheast，directlyawayfromJapanandtowardbleakBeringSea。
Andstillwelived，andtheboatlived，andthewindblewunabated。
Infact，towardnightfallofthethirddayitincreasedatrifleandsomethingmore。Theboat’sbowplungedunderacrest，andwecamethroughquarter—fullofwater。Ibailedlikeamadman。Theliabilityofshippinganothersuchseawasenormouslyincreasedbythewaterthatweighedtheboatdownandrobbeditofitsbuoyancy。Andanothersuchseameanttheend。WhenIhadtheboatemptyagainIwasforcedtotakeawaythetarpaulinwhichcoveredMaud，inorderthatmightlashitdownacrossthebow。ItwaswellIdid，foritcoveredtheboatfullyathirdofthewayaft，andthreetimes，inthenextseveralhours，itflungoffthebulkofthedown—rushingwaterwhenthebowshovedundertheseas。
Maud’sconditionwaspitiable。Shesatcrouchedinthebottomoftheboat，herlipsblue，herfacegrayandplainlyshowingthepainshesuffered。
Buteverhereyeslookedbravelyatme，andeverherlipsutteredbravewords。
Theworstofthestormmusthaveblownthatnight，thoughlittleInoticedit。IhadsuccumbedandsleptwhereIsatinthestern—sheets。Themorningofthefourthdayfoundthewinddiminishedtoagentlewhisper，theseadyingdownandthesunshininguponus。Oh，theblessedsun！Howwebathedourpoorbodiesinitsdeliciouswarmth，revivinglikebugsandcrawlingthingsafterastorm。Wesmiledagain，saidamusingthings，andwaxedoptimisticoveroursituation。Yetitwas，ifanything，worsethanever。WewerefartherfromJapanthanthenightwelefttheGhost。NorcouldImorethanroughlyguessourlatitudeandlongitude。Atacalculationofatwo—miledriftperhour，duringtheseventyandoddhoursofthestorm，wehadbeendrivenatleastonehundredandfiftymilestothenortheast。Butwassuchcalculateddriftcorrect？ForallIknew，itmighthavebeenfourmilesperhourinsteadoftwo。Inwhichcasewewereanotherhundredandfiftymilestothebad。
WherewewereIdidnotknow，thoughtherewasquitealikelihoodthatwewereinthevicinityoftheGhost。Thereweresealsaboutus，andIwaspreparedtosightasealingschooneratanytime。Wedidsightone，intheafternoon，whenthenorthwestbreezehadsprungupfreshlyoncemore。Butthestrangeschoonerlostitselfonthesky—lineandwealoneoccupiedthecircleofthesea。
Camedaysoffog，whenevenMaud’sspiritdroopedandtherewerenomerrywordsuponherlips；daysofcalm，whenwefloatedonthelonelyimmensityofsea，oppressedbyitsgreatnessandyetmarvellingatthemiracleoftinylife，forwestilllivedandstruggledtolive；daysofsleetandwindandsnow—squalls，whennothingcouldkeepuswarm；ordaysofdrizzlingrain，whenwefilledourwater—breakersfromthedripofthewetsail。
AndeverIlovedMaudwithanincreasinglove。Shewassomany—sided，somany—mooded——"protean—mooded"Icalledher。Butcalledherthis，andotheranddearerthings，inmythoughtsonly。Thoughthedeclarationofmyloveurgedandtrembledonmytongueathousandtimes，Iknewthatitwasnotimeforsuchadeclaration。Iffornootherreason，itwasnotime，whenonewasprotectingandtryingtosaveawoman，toaskthatwomanforherlove。Delicateaswasthesituation，notaloneinthisbutinotherways，IflatteredmyselfthatIwasabletodealdelicatelywithit；andalsoIflatteredmyselfthatbylookorsignIgavenoadvertisementoftheloveIfeltforher。Wewerelikegoodcomrades，andwegrewbettercomradesasthedayswentby。
Onethingaboutherwhichsurprisedmewasherlackoftimidityandfear。Theterriblesea，thefrailboat，thestorms，thesuffering，thestrangenessandisolationofthesituation，——allthatshouldhavefrightenedarobustwoman，——seemedtomakenoimpressionuponherwhohadknownlifeonlyinitsmostshelteredandconsummatelyartificialaspects，andwhowasherselfallfireanddewandmist，sublimatedspirit，allthatwassoftandtenderandclinginginwoman。Andyetamwrong。Shewastimidandafraid，butshepossessedcourage。Thefleshandthequalmsofthefleshshewasheirto，butthefleshboreheavilyonlyontheflesh。
Andshewasspirit，firstandalwaysspirit，etherealizedessenceoflife，calmashercalmeyes，andsureofpermanenceinthechangingorderoftheuniverse。
Camedaysofstorm，daysandnightsofstorm，whentheoceanmenaceduswithitsroaringwhiteness，andthewindsmoteourstrugglingboatwithaTitan’sbuffets。Andeverwewereflungoff，fartherandfarther，tothenortheast。Itwasinsuchastorm，andtheworstthatwehadexperienced，thatIcastawearyglancetoleeward，notinquestofanything，butmorefromthewearinessoffacingtheelementalstrife，andinmuteappeal，almost，tothewrathfulpowerstoceaseandletusbe。WhatIsawIcouldnotatfirstbelieve。Daysandnightsofsleeplessnessandanxietyhaddoubtlessturnedmyhead。IlookedbackatMaud，toidentifymyself，asitwere，intimeandspace。Thesightofherdearwetcheeks，herflyinghair，andherbravebrowneyesconvincedmethatmyvisionwasstillhealthy。
AgainIturnedmyfacetoleeward，andagainIsawthejuttingpromontory，blackandhighandnaked，theragingsurfthatbrokeaboutitsbaseandbeatitsfronthighupwithspoutingfountains，theblackandforbiddingcoast—linerunningtowardthesoutheastandfringedwithatremendousscarfofwhite。
"Maud，"Isaid。"Maud。"
Sheturnedherheadandbeheldthesight。
"ItcannotbeAlaska！"shecried。
"Alas，no，"Ianswered，andasked，"Canyouswim？"
Sheshookherhead。
"NeithercanI，"Isaid。"Sowemustgetashorewithoutswimming，insomeopeningbetweentherocksthroughwhichwecandrivetheboatandclamberout。Butwemustbequick，mostquick——andsure。"
IspokewithaconfidencesheknewIdidnotfeel，forshelookedatmewiththatunfalteringgazeofhersandsaid：
"Ihavenotthankedyouyetforallyouhavedoneforme，but——"
Shehesitated，asifindoubthowbesttowordhergratitude。
"Well？"Isaid，brutally，forIwasnotquitepleasedwithherthankingme。
"Youmighthelpme，"shesmiled。
"Toacknowledgeyourobligationsbeforeyoudie？Notatall。Wearenotgoingtodie。Weshalllandonthatisland，andweshallbesnugandshelteredbeforethedayisdone。"
Ispokestoutly，butIdidnotbelieveaword。Norwaspromptedtoliethroughfear。Ifeltnofear，thoughIwassureofdeathinthatboilingsurgeamongsttherockswhichwasrapidlygrowingnearer。Itwasimpossibletohoistsailandclawoffthatshore。Thewindwouldinstantlycapsizetheboat；theseaswouldswampitthemomentitfellintothetrough；and，besides，thesail，lashedtothespareoars，draggedintheseaaheadofus。
AsIsay，Iwasnotafraidtomeetmyowndeath，there，afewhundredyardstoleeward；butIwasappalledatthethoughtthatMaudmustdie。
Mycursedimaginationsawherbeatenandmangledagainsttherocks，anditwastooterrible。Istrovetocompelmyselftothinkwewouldmakethelandingsafely，andsoIspoke，notwhatIbelieved，butwhatIpreferredtobelieve。
Irecoiledbeforecontemplationofthatfrightfuldeath，andforamomentIentertainedthewildideaofseizingMaudinmyarmsandleapingoverboard。
ThenIresolvedtowait，andatthelastmoment，whenweenteredonthefinalstretch，totakeherinmyarmsandproclaimmylove，and，withherinmyembrace，tomakethedesperatestruggleanddie。
Instinctivelywedrewclosertogetherinthebottomoftheboat。Ifelthermittenedhandcomeouttomine。Andthus，withoutspeech，wewaitedtheend。Wewerenotfaroffthelinethewindmadewiththewesternedgeofthepromontory，andIwatchedinthehopethatsomesetofthecurrentorsendoftheseawoulddriftuspastbeforewereachedthesurf。
"Weshallgoclear，"Isaid，withaconfidencewhichIknewdeceivedneitherofus。
"ByGod，wewillgoclear！"Icried，fiveminuteslater。
Theoathleftmylipsinmyexcitement——thefirst，Idobelieve，inmylife，unless"troubleit，"anexpletiveofmyyouth，beaccountedanoath。
"Ibegyourpardon，"Isaid。
"Youhaveconvincedmeofyoursincerity，"shesaid，withafaintsmile。
"Idoknow，now，thatweshallgoclear。"
Ihadseenadistantheadlandpasttheextremeedgeofthepromontory，andaswelookedwecouldseegrowtheinterveningcoast—lineofwhatwasevidentlyadeepcove。Atthesametimetherebrokeuponourearsacontinuousandmightybellowing。Itpartookofthemagnitudeandvolumeofdistantthunder，anditcametousdirectlyfromleeward，risingabovethecrashofthesurfandtravellingdirectlyintheteethofthestorm。
Aswepassedthepointthewholecoveburstuponourview，ahalf—moonofwhitesandybeachuponwhichbrokeahugesurf，andwhichwascoveredwithmyriadsofseals。Itwasfromthemthatthegreatbellowingwentup。
"Arookery！"Icried。"Nowareweindeedsaved。Theremustbemenandcruiserstoprotectthemfromtheseal—hunters。Possiblythereisastationashore。"
ButasIstudiedthesurfwhichbeatuponthebeach，Isaid，"Stillbad，butnotsobad。Andnow，ifthegodsbetrulykind，weshalldriftbythatnextheadlandandcomeuponaperfectlyshelteredbeach，wherewemaylandwithoutwettingourfeet。"
Andthegodswerekind。Thefirstandsecondheadlandsweredirectlyinlinewiththesouthwestwind；butoncearoundthesecond，——andwewentperilouslynear，——wepickedupthethirdheadland，stillinlinewiththewindandwiththeothertwo。Butthecovethatintervened！Itpenetrateddeepintotheland，andthetide，settingin，driftedusundertheshelterofthepoint。Heretheseawascalm，saveforaheavybutsmoothground—swell，andItookinthesea—anchorandbegantorow。Fromthepointtheshorecurvedaway，moreandmoretothesouthandwest，until，atlast，itdisclosedacovewithinthecove，alittleland—lockedharbor，thewaterlevelasapond，brokenonlybytinyrippleswherevagrantbreathsandwispsofthestormhurtleddownfromoverthefrowningwallofrockthatbackedthebeachahundredfeetinshore。
Herewerenosealswhatever。Theboat’sstemtouchedthehardshingle。
Isprangout，extendingmyhandtoMaud。Thenextmomentshewasbesideme。Asmyfingersreleasedhers，sheclutchedformyarmhastily。AtthesamemomentIswayed，asabouttofalltothesand。Thiswasthestartlingeffectofthecessationofmotion。Wehadbeensolonguponthemoving，rockingseathatthestablelandwasashocktous。Weexpectedthebeachtoliftupthiswayandthat，andtherockywallstoswingbackandforthlikethesidesofaship；andwhenwebracedourselves，automatically，forthesevariousexpectedmovements，theirnon—occurrencequiteovercameourequilibrium。
"Ireallymustsitdown，"Maudsaid，withanervouslaughandadizzygesture，andforthwithshesatdownonthesand。
Iattendedtomakingtheboatsecureandjoinedher。ThuswelandedonEndeavorIsland，aswecametoit，land—sickfromlongcustomofthesea。TheSeaWolf：Chapter29CHAPTER29
"Fool！"Icriedaloudinmyvexation。
Ihadunloadedtheboatandcarrieditscontentshighuponthebeach，whereIhadsetaboutmakingacamp。Therewasdriftwood，thoughnotmuch，onthebeach，andthesightofacoffeetinIhadtakenfromtheGhost’slarderhadgivenmetheideaofafire。
"Blitheringidiot！"Iwascontinuing。
ButMaudsaid，"Tut，tut，"ingentlereproval，andthenaskedwhyI
wasablitheringidiot。
"Nomatches，"Igroaned。"NotamatchdidIbring。Andnowweshallhavenohotcoffee，soup，tea，oranything！"
"Wasn’tit——er——Crusoewhorubbedstickstogether？"shedrawled。
"ButIhavereadthepersonalnarrativesofascoreofshipwreckedmenwhotried，andtriedinvain，"Ianswered。"IrememberWinters，anewspaperfellowwithanAlaskanandSiberianreputation。MethimattheBibelotonce，andhewastellingushowheattemptedtomakeafirewithacoupleofsticks。Itwasmostamusing。Hetolditinimitably，butitwasthestoryofafailure。Irememberhisconclusion，hisblackeyesflashingashesaid，`Gentlemen，theSouthSeaIslandermaydoit，theMalaymaydoit，buttakemywordit’sbeyondthewhiteman。’"
"Oh，well，we’vemanagedsofarwithoutit，"shesaidcheerfully。"Andthere’snoreasonwhywecannotstillmanagewithoutit。"
"Butthinkofthecoffee！"Icried。"It’sgoodcoffee，too。know。I
tookitfromLarsen’sprivatestores。Andlookatthatgoodwood。"
Iconfess，Iwantedthecoffeebadly；andIlearned，notlongafterward，thattheberrywaslikewisealittleweaknessofMaud’s。Besides，wehadbeensolongonacolddietthatwewerenumbinsideaswellasout。Anythingwarmwouldhavebeenmostgratifying。Butcomplainednomore，andsetaboutmakingatentofthesailforMaud。
Ihadlookeduponitasasimpletask，whatoftheoars，mast，boom，andsprit，tosaynothingofplentyoflines。ButasIwaswithoutexperience，andaseverydetailwasanexperimentandeverysuccessfuldetailaninvention，thedaywaswellgonebeforehershelterwasanaccomplishedfact。Andthen，thatnight，itrained，andshewasfloodedoutanddrivenbackintotheboat。
ThenextmorningIdugashallowditcharoundthetent，and，anhourlater，asuddengustofwind，whippingovertherockywallbehindus，pickedupthetentandsmasheditdownonthesandthirtyyardsaway。
Maudlaughedatmycrestfallenexpression，andIsaid，"AssoonasthewindabatesIintendgoingintheboattoexploretheisland。Theremustbeastationsomewhere，andmen。Andshipsmustvisitthestation。Somegovernmentmustprotectalltheseseals。ButIwishtohaveyoucomfortablebeforeIstart。"
"Ishouldliketogowithyou，"wasallshesaid。
"Itwouldbebetterifyouremained。Youhavehadenoughofhardship。
Itisamiraclethatyouhavesurvived。Anditwon’tbecomfortableintheboat，rowingandsailinginthisrainyweather。Whatyouneedisrest，andIshouldlikeyoutoremainandgetit。"
Somethingsuspiciouslyakintomoistnessdimmedherbeautifuleyesbeforeshedroppedthemandpartlyturnedawayherhead。
"Ishouldprefergoingwithyou，"shesaidinalowvoice，inwhichtherewasjustahintofappeal。
"Imightbeabletohelpyoua——"hervoicebroke，——"alittle。Andifanythingshouldhappentoyou，thinkofmeleftherealone。"
"Oh，Iintendbeingverycareful，"Ianswered。"AndIshallnotgosofarbutwhatIcangetbackbeforenight。Yes，allsaidanddone，Ithinkitvastlybetterforyoutoremain，andsleep，andrest，anddonothing。"
Sheturnedandlookedmeintheeyes。Hergazewasunfaltering，butsoft。
"Please，please，"shesaid，oh，sosoftly。
Istiffenedmyselftorefuse，andshookmyhead。Stillshewaitedandlookedatme。Itriedtowordmyrefusal，butwavered。IsawthegladlightspringintohereyesandknewthatIhadlost。Itwasimpossibletosaynoafterthat。
Thewinddieddownintheafternoon，andwewerepreparedtostartthefollowingmorning。Therewasnowayofpenetratingtheislandfromourcove，forthewallsroseperpendicularlyfromthebeach，and，oneithersideofthecove，rosefromthedeepwater。
Morningbrokedullandgray，butcalm，andIwasawakeearlyandhadtheboatinreadiness。
"Fool！Imbecile！Yahoo！"Ishouted，whenIthoughtitwasmeettoarouseMaud；butthistimeIshoutedinmerrimentasIdancedaboutthebeach，bareheaded，inmockdespair。
Herheadappearedundertheflapofthesail。
"Whatnow？"sheaskedsleepily，and，withal，curiously。
"Coffee！"Icried。"Whatdoyousaytoacupofcoffee？hotcoffee？
pipinghot？"
"My！"shemurmured，"youstartledme，andyouarecruel。HereIhavebeencomposingmysoultodowithoutit，andhereyouarevexingmewithyourvainsuggestions。"
"Watchme，"Isaid。
FromundercleftsamongtherocksIgatheredafewdrysticksandchips。
TheseIwhittledintoshavingsorsplitintokindling。Frommynote—bookItoreoutapage，andfromtheammunitionboxtookashotgunshell。Removingthewadsfromthelatterwithmyknife，emptiedthepowderonaflatrock。
NextIpriedtheprimer，orcap，fromtheshell，andlaiditontherockinthemidstofthescatteredpowder。Allwasready。Maudstillwatchedfromthetent。Holdingthepaperinmylefthand，Ismasheddownuponthecapwitharockheldinmyright。Therewasapuffofwhitesmoke，aburstofflame，andtheroughedgeofthepaperwasalight。
Maudclappedherhandsgleefully。"Prometheus！"shecried。
ButIwastoooccupiedtoacknowledgeherdelight。Thefeebleflamemustbecherishedtenderlyifitweretogatherstrengthandlive。Ifedit，shavingbyshaving，andsliverbysliver，tillatlastitwassnappingandcracklingasitlaidholdofthesmallerchipsandsticks。Tobecastawayonanislandhadnotenteredintomycalculations，sowewerewithoutakettleorcookingutensilsofanysort；butImadeshiftwiththetinusedforbailingtheboat，andlater，asweconsumedoursupplyofcannedgoods，weaccumulatedquiteanimposingarrayofcookingvessels。
Iboiledthewater，butitwasMaudwhomadethecoffee。Andhowgooditwas！Mycontributionwascannedbeeffriedwithcrumbledsea—biscuitandwater。Thebreakfastwasasuccess，andwesataboutthefiremuchlongerthanenterprisingexplorersshouldhavedone，sippingthehotblackcoffeeandtalkingoveroursituation。
Iwasconfidentthatweshouldfindastationinsomeoneofthecoves，forIknewthattherookeriesofBeringSeawerethusguarded；butMaudadvancedthetheory，——topreparemefordisappointment，Idobelieve，ifdisappointmentweretocome，——thatwehaddiscoveredanunknownrookery。
Shewasinverygoodspirits，however，andmadequitemerryinacceptingourplightasagraveone。
"Ifyouareright，"Isaid，"thenwemustpreparetowinterhere。Ourfoodwillnotlast，buttherearetheseals。Theygoawayinthefall，soImustsoonbegintolayinasupplyofmeat。Thentherewillbehutstobuildanddriftwoodtogather。Also，weshalltryoutsealfatforlightingpurposes。Altogether，we’llhaveourhandsfullifwefindtheislanduninhabited。
Whichweshallnot，Iknow。"
Butshewasright。Wesailedwithabeamwindalongtheshore，searchingthecoveswithourglassesandlandingoccasionally，withoutfindingasignofhumanlife。YetwelearnedthatwewerenotthefirstwhohadlandedonEndeavorIsland。Highuponthebeachofthesecondcovefromours，wediscoveredthesplinteredwreckofaboat——asealer’sboat，fortherowlockswereboundinsennit，agun—rackwasonthestarboardsideofthebow，andinwhiteletterswasfaintlyvisibleGazelleNo。2。Theboathadlainthereforalongtime，foritwashalffilledwithsand，andthesplinteredwoodhadthatweather—wornappearanceduetolongexposuretotheelements。Inthesternsheetsfoundarustyten—gaugeshotgunandasailor’ssheath—knifebrokenshortacrossandsorustedastobealmostunrecognizable。
"Theygotaway，"Isaidcheerfully；butIfeltasinkingattheheartandseemedtodivinethepresenceofbleachedbonessomewhereonthatbeach。
IdidnotwishMaud’sspiritstobedampenedbysuchafind，soIturnedseawardagainwithourboatandskirtedthenortheasternpointoftheisland。
Therewerenobeachesonthesouthernshore，andbyearlyafternoonweroundedtheblackpromontoryandcompletedthecircumnavigationoftheisland。Iestimateditscircumferenceattwenty—fivemiles，itswidthasvaryingfromtwotofivemiles；whilemymostconservativecalculationplacedonitsbeachestwohundredthousandseals。Theislandwashighestatitsextremesouthwesternpoint，theheadlandsandbackbonediminishingregularlyuntilthenortheasternportionwasonlyafewfeetabovethesea。Withtheexceptionofourlittlecove，theotherbeachesslopedgentlybackforadistanceofhalfamileorso，intowhatImightcallrockymeadows，withhereandtherepatchesofmossandtundragrass。Herethesealshauledout，andtheoldbullsguardedtheirharems，whiletheyoungbullshauledoutbythemselves。
ThisbriefdescriptionisallthatEndeavorIslandmerits。Dampandsoggywhereitwasnotsharpandrocky，buffetedbystormwindsandlashedbythesea，withtheaircontinuallya—tremblewiththebellowingoftwohundredthousandamphibians，itwasamelancholyandmiserablesojourningplace。Maud，whohadpreparedmefordisappointment，andwhohadbeensprightlyandvivaciousallday，brokedownaswelandedinourownlittlecove。
Shestrovebravelytohideitfromme，butwhileIwaskindlinganotherfireIknewshewasstiflinghersobsintheblanketsunderthesail—tent。
Itwasmyturntobecheerful，andIplayedtheparttothebestofmyability，andwithsuchsuccessthatIbroughtthelaughterbackintoherdeareyesandsongonherlips；forshesangtomebeforeshewenttoanearlybed。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadheardhersing，andIlaybythefire，listeningandtransported，forshewasnothingifnotanartistineverythingshedid，andhervoice，thoughnotstrong，waswonderfullysweetandexpressive。
Istillsleptintheboat，andIlayawakelongthatnight，gazingupatthefirststarsIhadseeninmanynightsandponderingthesituation。
Responsibilityofthissortwasanewthingtome。WolfLarsenhadbeenquiteright。Ihadstoodonmyfather’slegs。Mylawyersandagentshadtakencareofmymoneyforme。Ihadhadnoresponsibilitiesatall。Then，ontheGhostIhadlearnedtoberesponsibleformyself。Andnow，forthefirsttimeinmylife，foundmyselfresponsibleforsomeoneelse。