第6章

ItwasinthisorderthatwearrivedattheSt。Leonards’。Veronica，underanawning，sippingicedsherbet，appearedtobethecentreoftheparty。Shewasrecountingherexperienceswithamodestythathadalreadywonallhearts。Therestofus，shehadexplained，hadpreferredwalking，andwouldarrivelater。Shewasevidentlypleasedtoseeme，andvolunteeredtheinformationthatthegreys，toallseeming，hadenjoyedtheirgallop。

IsentDickbacktobreakthegoodnewstohismother。YoungButesaidhewouldgotoo。HesaidhewasfresherthanDick，andwouldgettherefirst。Asamatterofhistoryhedid，andwasimmediatelysorrythathehad。

Thisisnotawell—orderedworld，oritwouldnotbeourgooddeedsthatwouldsooftengetusintotrouble。Robina’sinsistenceonourwalkingupthehillhadbeenpromptedbytenderfeelingfordumbanimals：avirtuousemotionthatsurelytheangelsshouldhaveblessed。Theresulthadbeentobringdownuponhersufferingandreproach。ItisnotoftenthatEthelberthaloseshertemper。Whenshedoesshemakesuseoftheoccasiontoperformwhatonemightdescribeasamentalspring—cleaning。Alllooseoddsandendsoftemperthatmaybelyingaboutinhermind——anyscrapofindignationthathasbeenreposingpeacefully，halfforgotten，inacornerofherbrain，sheferretsoutandbrushesintothegeneralheap。Smallannoyancesoftheyearbeforelast——littlethingsshehadn’tnoticedatthetime——incidentsinyourpastlifethat，sofarasyouareconcerned，presentthemselvesasdimvisionsconnectedmaybewithsomepreviousexistence，shewhiskstriumphantlyintoherpan。Themethodhasitsadvantages。Itleavesher，sweptandgarnished，withoutascrapofill—feelingtowardsanylivingsoul。Forquitealongperiodafteroneoftheseexplosionsitisimpossibletogetacrosswordoutofher。Onehastowaitsometimesformonths。Butwhiletheclearingupisinprogresstheatmosphereroundaboutisdisturbing。Theelementofthewholethingisitscomprehensiveswiftness。Beforetheyhadreachedthesummitofthehill，RobinahadacquiredatolerablycompleteideaofallshehaddonewrongsinceChristmastwelvemonth：thepresentafternoon’sproceedings——

includingastheydidthealmostcertainsacrificingofasistertoaviolentdeath，togetherwiththeprobabledestructionofafather，nolongerofanagetotriflewithapoplexy——beingbutafitandpropercomplementtowhathadgonebefore。Itwouldbelong，asRobinaherselfthateveningbitterlydeclared，beforeshewouldagaingiveeartothepromptingsofherbetternature。

TotakenextthesadcaseofArchibaldBute：hissoledesirehadbeentorelieve，attheearliestmomentpossible，theanxietiesofasisterandamother。Robina’snewhat，notintendedforsport，hadbrokenawayfromitsfastenings。Withit，ithadbroughtdownherhair。Thereisaharmlesscontrivanceforbuildingupthefemalehaircalled，Iamtold，apad。Itcanbemadeofcombings，andthen，ofcourse，isliterallythegirl’sownhair。HecameuponRobinaatthemomentwhen，retracingherstepsandwithherbacktowardshim，shewaslookingforit。Withhisusualluck，hewasthefirsttofindit。EthelberthathankedhimforhisinformationconcerningVeronica，butseemedchieflyanxioustopushonandconvinceherselfthatitwastrue。ShetookDick’sarm，andleftRobinatofollowonwithBute。

AsIexplainedtohimafterwards，hadhestoppedtoaskmyadviceI

shouldhavecounselledhisleavingthejobtoDick，who，afterall，wasonlythirtysecondsbehindhim。Asregardedhimself，Ishouldhavesuggestedhistakingawalkintheoppositedirection，returning，say，inhalfanhour，andpretendingtohavejustarrived。

BythattimeRobina，withtheassistanceofJanie’sbrushandcomb，andpossiblyherpowder—puff，wouldhavebeenfeelingherselfagain。

HecouldhavelistenedsympatheticallytoanaccountoftheaffairfromRobinaherself——herversion，inwhichshewouldhaveappearedtoadvantage。Givehertime，andshehasasenseofhumour。Shewouldhavemadeitbrightandwhimsical。Withoutassertingitinsomanywords，shewouldhaveconveyedtheimpression——Iknowherway——thatshealone，throughoutthewholecommotion，hadremainedcalmandhelpful。"DearoldDick"and"Poordearpapa"——Icanhearhersayingit——wouldhavesuppliedthelowcomedy，andVeronica，alludedtowithaffectionfreefromsentimentality，wouldhavefurnishedthedramaticinterest。ItisnotthatRobinaintendstomislead，butshehastheartisticinstinct。Itwouldhavemadequiteacharmingstory；Robinaalwaysthecentralfigure。Shewouldhaveenjoyedtellingit，andwouldhavebeenpleasedwiththepersonlistening。Allthis——whichwouldhavebeentherewardofsubterfuge——hehadmissed。VirtuousintentionhadgainedforhimnothingbutafewscatteredobservationsfromRobinaconcerninghimself；theprobableobjectofhisCreatorinfashioninghim——hisrelationtotheschemeofthingsingeneral：

observationsallofwhichhehadfelttobeunjust。

Wecomparedexperiencesoverapipethatsameevening；andhetoldmeofafriendofhis，alawstudent，whohadshareddiggingswithhiminEdinburgh。Akinder—heartedyoungman，Butefeltsure，couldneverhavebreathed；noronewithatenderer，morechivalrousregardforwomen；andthemiserythisbroughthim，tosaynothingoftheirritationcausedtoquiteanumberofrespectablepeople，couldhardlybeimagined，soyoungButeassuredme，byanyonenotpersonallyacquaintedwiththeparties。Itwastheplainandsnappygirl，andthelessattractivetypeofoldmaid，forwhomhefeltthemostsorrow。Hecouldnothelpthinkingofalltheyhadmissed，andwerelikelytogoonmissing；therapture——surelythewoman’sbirthright——offeelingherselfadored，anyhow，onceinherlife；thedelightofseeingthelover’seyelightupathercoming。HadhebeenaMormonhewouldhavemarriedthemall。Theytoo——theneglectedthatnonehadinvitedtothefeastoflove——theyalsoshouldknowthejoysofhome，feelthesweetcomfortofahusband’sarm。BeingaChristian，hispowerforgoodwaslimited。Butatleasthecouldliftfromthemthedespairingconvictionthattheywereoutsidethepaleofmasculineaffection。Notoneofthem，sofarashecouldhelpit，butshouldbeabletosay：

"I——evenIhadaloveronce。No，dear，wenevermarried。Itwasoneofthosespiritualloves；aformalengagementwitharingwouldhavespoiledit——coarsenedit。No；itwasjustabeautifulthingthatcameintomylifeandpassedawayagain，leavingbehinditafragrancethathassweetenedallmydays。"

Thatishowheimaginedtheywouldtalkaboutit，yearsafterwards，tothelittlenieceornephew，askingartlessquestions——howtheywouldfeelaboutitthemselves。Whetherlawcirclesarepeculiarlyrichinunattractivespinsters，orwhetheritmerelyhappenedtobeanexceptionalseasonforthem，Butecouldnotsay；butcertainitwasthatthenumberofsour—facedgirlsandfretfuloldmaidsinexcessofthedemandseemedtobegreaterthanusualthatwinterinEdinburgh，withtheresultthatyoungHapgoodhadabusytimeofit。

Hemadelovetothem，notobtrusively，whichmighthavelaidthemopentoridicule——manyofthemwereoldenoughtohavebeenhismother——butmorebyinsinuation，bysubtlesuggestion。Hisfeelings，sotheygathered，weretoodeepforwords；buttheadoringeyeswithwhichhewouldfollowtheireverymovement，theraptecstasywithwhichhewoulddrinkintheirlightestremarkabouttheweather，thetoneofalmostreverentialawewithwhichhewouldenquireofthemconcerningtheirlesserailments——allconveyedtotheirsympatheticobservationthemessagethathedarednottell。Hehadnofavourites。Sufficientitwasthatawomanshouldbeunpleasant，forhimtopouroutatherfeetthesimulatedpassionofalifetime。Hesentthempresents——nothingexpensive——wrappedinpleasingpretenceofanonymity；valentinescarefullyselectedfortheircompromisingcharacter。Onecarroty—headedoldmaidwithwartshehadkisseduponthebrow。

Allthishedidoutofhisgreatpityforthem。Itwasabeautifulidea，butitworkedbadly。Theydidnotunderstand——nevergotthehangofthething：notoneofthem。Theythoughthewasreallygoneonthem。Foratimehiselusiveness，hisbackwardnessincomingtothepoint，theyattributedtoafitandproperfearofhisfate；butasthemonthswentbythefeelingofeachonewasthathewascarryingtheapprehensionofhisownunworthinesstoofar。Theygavehimencouragement，providedforhim"openings，"tillthewondergrewuponthemhowanywomaneverdidgetmarried。Attheendoftheirresources，theyconsultedbosomfriends。Inseveralinstancesthebosomfriendturnedouttobethebosomfriendofmorethanoneofthem。Thebosomfriendsbegantotakeahandinit。Someofthemcametohimwithquitealittlelist，insisting——playfullyatfirst——

onhismakinguphismindwhathewasgoingtotakeandwhathewasgoingtoleave；offering，asrewardforpromptdecision，tomakethingsaseasyforhimaspossiblewiththeremainderofthecolumn。

Itwasthenhesawthathisgoodintentionswerelikelytoendincatastrophe。Hewouldnottellthetruth：thatthewholeschemehadbeenconceivedoutofcharitytowardsallill—constructedordilapidatedladies；thatpersonallyhedidn’tcareahangforanyofthem；hadonlytakenthemon，vulgarlyspeaking，togivethematreat，andbecausenobodyelsewould。Thatwasn’tgoingtobeagoldenmemory，colouringtheirotherwisedrabexistence。Heexplainedthatitwasnotlove——notthelovethatalonewouldjustifyaman’saskingofawomanthatsheshouldgiveherselftohimforlife——thathefeltandalwaysshouldfeelforthem，butmerelyadmirationanddeepesteem；andseventeenofthemthoughtthatwouldbesufficienttostartwith，andofferedtochancetherest。

Thetruthhadtocomeout。Friendswhoknewhisnoblenaturecouldnotsitbyandhearhimdenouncedasaheartlessandeccentricprofligate。Ladieswhosebeautyandpopularitywerebeyonddisputethoughtitatouchingandtenderthingforhimtohavedone；buteverywomantowhomhehadeveraddressedakindwordwantedtowringhisneck。

Hedidthemostsensiblethinghecould，underallthecircumstances；

changedhisaddresstoAberdeen，wherehehadanauntliving。Butthestoryfollowedhim。Nowomanwouldbeseenspeakingtohim。OneadmiringglancefromHapgoodwouldsendtheprettiestgirlshomeweepingtotheirmothers。Lateronhefellinlove——hopelessly，madlyinlove。Buthedarednottellher——darednotletalivingsoulguessit。Thatwastheonlywayhecouldshowit。Itisnotsufficient，inthisworld，towanttodogood；there’sgottobeaknackaboutit。

TherewasamanImetinColorado，oneChristmas—time。Iwasonalecturingtour。HisideawastosendalovinggreetingtohiswifeinNewYork。Hehadbeenmarriednineteenyears，andthiswasthefirsttimehehadbeenseparatedfromhisfamilyonChristmasDay。

Hepicturedthemroundthetableinthelittlefar—awayNewEnglandparlour；hiswife，hissister—in—law，UncleSilas，CousinJane，JackandWilly，andgolden—hairedLena。Theywouldbejustsittingdowntodinner，talkingabouthim，mostlikely；wishinghewereamongthem。Theywereanicefamilyandallfondofhim。Whatjoyitwouldgivethemtoknowthathewassafeandsound；toheartheverytonesofhislovedvoicespeakingtothem！Modernsciencehasmadepossiblethesemiracles。True，thelong—distancetelephonewouldcosthimfivedollars；butwhatisfivedollarsweighedagainsttheprivilegeofwaftinghappinesstoanentirefamilyonChristmasDay！

Wehadjustcomebackfromawalk。Heslammedthemoneydown，andlaughedaloudatthethoughtofthesurprisehewasabouttogivethemall。

Thetelephonebellrangoutclearanddistinctattheprecisemomentwhenhiswife，withknifeandforkinhand，waspreparingtocarvetheturkey。Shewasanervouslady，andtwicethatweekhaddreamedthatshehadseenherhusbandwithoutbeingabletogettohim。Onthefirstoccasionshehadseenhimenteradry—goodsstoreinBroadway，andhasteningacrosstheroadhadfollowedhimin。Hewashardlyadozenyardsinfrontofher，butbeforeshecouldovertakehimalltheyoungladyassistantshadrushedfrombehindtheircountersand，formingacircleroundher，hadrefusedtoletherpass，whichinherdreamhadirritatedherconsiderably。OnthenextoccasionhehadboardedaBrooklyncarinwhichshewasreturninghome。Shehadtriedtoattracthisattentionwithherumbrella，buthedidnotseemtoseeher；andeverytimesherosetogoacrosstohimthecargaveajerkandbumpedherbackintoherseat。Whenshedidgetovertohimitwasnotherhusbandatall，butthegentlemanoutoftheQuakerOatsadvertisement。Shewenttothetelephone，feeling——asshesaidherselfafterwards——allofatremble。

ThatyoucouldspeakfromColoradotoNewYorkshewouldnotthenhavebelievedhadyoutoldher。Thethingwasinitsearlystages，whichmayalsohaveaccountedforthevoicereachingherstrangeandbroken。Iwasstandingbesidehimwhilehespoke。WewereinthevestibuleoftheSavoyHotelatColoradoSprings。Itwasfiveo’clockintheafternoon，whichwouldbeaboutseveninNewYork。Hetoldherhewassafeandwell，andthatshewasnottofretabouthim。HetoldherhehadbeenthatmorningforawalkintheGardenoftheGods，whichisthenamegiventothelocalpark；theydothatsortofthinginColorado。Alsothathehaddrunkfromthesilicialspringsaboundinginthatfavouredland。Iamnotsurethat"silicial"wasthecorrectword。Hewasnotsurehimself：addedtowhichhepronounceditbadly。Whatevertheywere，heassuredhertheyhaddonehimgood。HesentaspecialmessagetohisCousinJane——amaidenladyofmeans——totheeffectthatshecouldrelyuponseeinghimsoon。Shewasatouchyoldlady，andlikedtobesingledoutforspecialattention。Hemadetheusualkindenquiriesabouteverybody，sentthemallhisblessing，andonlywishedtheycouldbewithhiminthisdelectablelandwhereitseemedtobealwayssunshineandbalmybreezes。Hecouldhavesaidmore，buthistimebeingupthetelephonepeopleswitchedhimoff；andfeelinghehaddoneagoodandthoughtfuldeed，hesuggestedagameofbilliards。

Couldhehavebeenawitnessofeventsattheotherendofthewire，hisconditionwouldhavebeenoneoflessself—complacence。Longbeforetheendofthefirstsentencehiswifehadcometotheconclusionthatthiswasamessagefromthedead。Whythroughatelephonedidnotgreatlyworryher。Itseemedasreasonableamediumasanyothershehadeverheardof——indeedatriflemoreso。

Later，whenshewasabletoreviewthemattercalmly，itaffordedhersomeconsolationtoreflectthatthingsmighthavebeenworse。That"garden，"togetherwiththe"silicialsprings"——whichshetooktobe"celestial，"therewasnotmuchdifferencethewayhepronouncedit——

wasdistinctlyreassuring。The"eternalsunshine"andthe"balmybreezes"likewiseagreedwithherknowledgeofheavenlytopographyasderivedfromtheCongregationalHymn—Book。Thatheshouldhaveneededtoenquireconcerningthehealthofherselfandthechildrenhadpuzzledher。Theonlyexplanationwasthattheydidn’tknoweverything，notevenup。There——maybe，notthenew—comers。Shehadansweredascoherentlyasherstateofdistractionwouldpermit，andhadthendroppedlimplytothefloor。Itwasthesoundofherfallingagainsttheumbrella—standandupsettingitthatbroughtthemalltroopingoutfromthedining—room。

Ittookhersometimetogetthethinghometothem；andwhenshehadfinished，herbrotherSilas，actingontheimpulseofthemoment，ranguptheExchange，withsomevagueideaofgettingintocommunicationwithSt。Peterandobtainingfurtherparticulars，butrecollectedhimselfintimetoexplaintothe"hulloagirl"thathehadmadeamistake。

Theeldestboy，apracticalyouth，pointedout，verysensibly，thatnothingcouldbegainedbytheirnotgoingonwiththeirdinner，butwasbitterlyreproachedforbeingabletothinkofanyformofenjoymentatamomentwhenhispoordearfatherwasinheaven。ItremindedhismotherofthespecialmessagetoCousinJane，whouptothatmomenthadbeenplayingthepartofcomforter。WiththecollapseofCousinJane，dramaticinitssuddenness，conversationdisappeared。Atnineo’clocktheentirefamilywentdinnerlesstobed。

Theeldestboy——asIhavesaid，apracticalyouth——hadthesensetogetupearlythenextmorningandsendawire，whichbroughtthegladnewsbacktothemthattheirbelovedonewasnotinheaven，butwasstillinColorado。Buttheonlyrewardmyfriendgotforallhistenderthoughtfulnesswasthevehementinjunctionneverfortheremainderofhislifetoplaysuchafool’strickagain。

TherewereothercasesIcouldhaverecitedshowingtheillrecompensethatsooftenovertakesthevirtuousaction；but，asI

explainedtoBute，itwouldhavesaddenedmetodwelluponthetheme。

ItwasquitealargepartyassembledattheSt。Leonards’，includingoneortwocountypeople，andIshouldhaveliked，myself，tohavemadeabetterentrance。AlargeladywithaverysmallvoiceseemedtobeundertheimpressionthatIhadarrangedthewholebusinessonpurpose。Shesaiditwas"sodramatic。"Onegoodthingcameoutofit：Janie，inherquiet，quickway，sawtoitthatEthelberthaandRobinaslippedintothehouseunnoticedbywayofthedairy。Whentheyjoinedtheotherguests，halfanhourlater，theyhadhadacupofteaandarest，andwerefeelingcalmandcool，withtheirhairnicelydone；andEthelbertharemarkedtoRobinaonthewayhomewhatacomfortitmustbetoMrs。St。Leonardtohaveadaughtersocapable，onewhoknewjusttherightthingtodo，anddiditwithoutmakingafussandadisturbance。

Everyonewasverynice。Ofcoursewemadetheusualmistake：theytalkedtomeaboutbooksandplays，andIgavethemmyviewsonagricultureandcub—hunting。I’mnotquitesurewhatfoolitwaswhodescribedaboreasamanwhotalkedabouthimself。Asamatteroffactitistheonlysubjecttheaveragemanknowssufficientlywelltomakeinteresting。There’samanIknow；hemakesafortuneoutofapatentfoodforinfants。Hebeganlifeasadairyfarmer，andhituponitquitebyaccident。Whenhetalksaboutthehumoursofcompanypromotingandthetricksoftheadvertisingagentheisamusing。Ihavesatathistable，whenhewasabachelor，andlistenedtohimbythehourwithenjoyment。Themistakehemadewasmarryingabroad—minded，culturedwoman，whoruinedhim——

conversationally，Imean。Heisnowwell—informedandtiresomeonmosttopics。Thatiswhyactorsandactressesarealwayssuchdelightfulcompany：theyarenotashamedtotalkaboutthemselves。

Irememberadinner—partyonce：ourhostwasoneofthebest—knownbarristersinLondon。Afamousladynovelistsatonhisright，andascientistofworld—widereputationhadtheplaceofhonournextourhostess，whoherselfhadwrittenahistoryofthestrugglefornationalityinSouthAmericathatservesasanauthoritytoalltheForeignOfficesinEurope。Amongtheremainingguestswereabishop，theeditor—in—chiefofaLondondailynewspaper，amanwhoknewtheinteriorofChinaaswellasmostmenknowtheirownclub，aRussianrevolutionistjustescapedfromSiberia，aleadingdramatist，aCabinetMinister，andapoetwhosenameisahouseholdwordwherevertheEnglishtongueisspoken。Andfortwohourswesatandlistenedtoawicked—lookinglittlewomanwhofromtheboardsofaBowerymusic—hallhadworkedherwayuptothepositionofastarinmusicalcomedy。Education，assheobservedherselfwithoutregret，hadnotbeencompulsorythroughoutthewatersidedistrictofChicagoinheryoungdays；and，compelledtoearnherownlivingfromtheageofthirteen，opportunityforsupplyingtheoriginaldeficiencyhadbeenwanting。Butsheknewhersubject，whichwasHerself——herexperiences，herreminiscences：andbadsenseenoughtosticktoit。

Untilthemomentwhenshetook"thelibertyofchippingin，"touseherownexpression，theamountoftwaddletalkedhadbeenappalling。

ThebishophadtoldusallhehadlearntaboutChinaduringavisittoSanFrancisco，whilethemanwhohadspentthelasttwentyyearsofhislifeinthecountrywasbusyexplaininghisviewsonthesubjectoftheEnglishdrama。Ourhostesshadbeenendeavouringtomakethescientistfeelathomebytalkingtohimaboutradium。ThedramatisthadexplainedatsomelengthhisviewsofthecrisisinRussia。ThepoethadquitespoilthisdinnertryingtosuggesttotheCabinetMinisternewsourcesoftaxation。TheRussianrevolutionisthadtolduswhatoughttohavebeenafunnystoryaboutaduck；andtheladynovelistandtheCabinetMinisterhaddiscussedChristianScienceforaquarterofanhour，eachunderthemistakenimpressionthattheotheronewasabelieverinit。TheeditorhadbeenexplainingtheattitudeoftheChurchtowardstheNewTheology；

andourhost，oneofthewittiestmenattheBar，hadbeentalkingchieflytothebutler。Thereliefoflisteningtoanybodytalkingaboutsomethingtheyknewwaslikefindingamatch—boxtoamanwhohasbeenbarkinghisshinsinthedark。Fortherestofthedinnerweclungtoher。

IcouldhavemademyselfquiteinterestingtothesegoodsquiresandfarmerstalkingtothemabouttheatresandtheliterarycelebritiesI

havemet；andtheycouldhavetoldmedogstoriesandgivenmeusefulinformationastotheworkingoftheSmallHoldingsAct。Theysaidsomeverycharmingthingsaboutmybooks——mostlytotheeffectthattheyreadandenjoyedthemwhenfeelingillorsufferingfrommentalcollapse。Igatheredthathadtheyalwayscontinuedinahealthystateofmindandbodyitwouldnothaveoccurredtothemtoreadme。

OnemanassuredmeIhadsavedhislife。Itwashisbrain，hetoldme。Hehadbeensoupsetbysomethingthathadhappenedtohimthathehadalmostlosthisreason。Thereweretimeswhenhecouldnotevenrememberhisownname；hismindseemedanabsoluteblank。Andthenonedaybychance——orProvidence，orwhateveryouchoosetocallit——hehadtakenupabookofmine。Itwastheonlythinghehadbeenabletoreadformonthsandmonths！Andnow，wheneverhefelthimselfrundown——hisbrainlikeasqueezedorange（thatwashissimile）——hewouldputeverythingelseasideandreadabookofmine——

anyone：itdidn’tmatterwhich。Isupposeoneoughttobegladthatonehassavedsomebody’slife；butIshouldliketohavethechoosingofthemmyself。

IamnotsurethatEthelberthaisgoingtolikeMrs。St。Leonard；andIdon’tthinkMrs。St。LeonardwillmuchlikeEthelbertha。IhavegatheredthatMrs。St。Leonarddoesn’tlikeanybodymuch——except，ofcourse，whenitisherduty。Shedoesnotseemtohavethetime。

Manisborntotrouble，anditisnotbadphilosophytogetoneselfaccustomedtothefeeling。ButMrs。St。Leonardhasgivenherselfuptothepursuitoftroubletotheexclusionofallotherinterestsinlife。SheappearstoregarditastheonlycallingworthyaChristianwoman。Ifoundheraloneoneafternoon。Hermannerwaspreoccupied；IaskedifIcouldbeofanyassistance。

"No，"sheanswered，"Iammerelytryingtothinkwhatitcanbethathasbeenworryingmeallthemorning。Ithascleangoneoutofmyhead。"

Sheremembereditalittlelaterwithagladsigh。

St。Leonardhimself，Ethelberthathinkscharming。WearetogoagainonSundayforhertoseethechildren。ThreeorfourpeoplewemetI

fancyweshallbeabletofitinwith。Weleftathalf—pastsix，andtookButebackwithustosupper。

CHAPTERX

"She’sagoodwoman，"saidRobina。

"Who’sagoodwoman？"Iasked。

"He’strying，Iexpect；althoughheisanolddear：tolivewith，I

mean，"continuedRobina，addressingapparentlytherisingmoon。"Andthenthereareallthosechildren。"

"YouarethinkingofMrs。St。Leonard，"Isuggested。

"Thereseemsnowayofmakingherhappy，"explainedRobina。"OnThursdayIwentroundearlyinthemorningtohelpJaniepackthebasketsforthepicnic。Itwasherownidea，thepicnic。"

"Speakingofpicnics，"Isaid。

"Youmighthavethought，"wentonRobina，"thatshewasdressingforherownfuneral。Shesaidsheknewshewasgoingtocatchherdeathofcold，sittingonthewetgrass。Somethingtoldher。Iremindedherithadn’trainedforthreeweeks，andthateverythingwasasdryasabone，butshesaidthatmadenodifferencetograss。Thereisalwaysamoistureingrass，andthatcushionsandallthatonlyhelpedtodrawitout。Notthatitmattered。Theendhadtocome，andsolongastheotherswerehappy——youknowherstyle。Nobodyeverthoughtofher。Shewastobedraggedhere，draggedthere。Shetalkedaboutherselfasifsheweresomesacredimage。Itgotuponmynervesatlast，sothatIpersuadedJanietoletmeoffertostopathomewithher。Iwasn’ttookeenaboutgoingmyself；notbythattime。"

"Whenourdesiresleaveus，saysRochefoucauld，"Iremarked，"weprideourselvesuponourvirtueinhavingovercomethem。"

"Well，itwasherfault，anyhow，"retortedRobina；"andIdidn’tmakeavirtueofit。ItoldherI’djustassoonnotgo，andthatIfeltsuretheotherswouldbeallrightwithouther，sothattherewasnoneedforhertobedraggedanywhere。Andthensheburstintotears。"

"Shesaid，"Isuggested，"thatitwashardonhertohavechildrenwhocouldwishtogotoapicnicandleavetheirmotherathome；thatitwaslittleenoughenjoymentshehadinherlife，heavenknows；

thatiftherewasonethingshehadbeenlookingforwardtoitwasthisday’souting；butstill，ofcourse，ifeverybodywouldbehappierwithouther——"

"Somethingofthesort，"admittedRobina；"onlytherewasalotofit。Wehadtoallfussroundher，andswearthatwithoutheritwouldn’tbeworthcallingapicnic。Shebrighteneduponthewayhome。"

Thescreech—owlintheyew—treeemittedablood—curdlingscream。Heperchesthereeacheveningontheextremeendofthelongestbough。

Dimlyoutlinedagainstthenight，hehastheappearanceofafriendlyhobgoblin。ButIwishhedidn’tfancyhimselfasavocalist。Itisagainsthisowninterests，Iamsure，ifheonlyknewit。ThatAmericancollegeyellofhismusthavetheeffectofsendingeverylivingthingwithinhalfamilebackintoitshole。Maybeitisaprovisionofnatureforclearingofftheveryoldmicewhohavebecomestonedeafandwouldotherwisebeaburdenontheirrelatives。

Theothers，unlessoutforsuicide，must，onethinks，betolerablysafe。Ethelberthaispersuadedheisasignofdeath；butseeingthereisn’tasquarequarterofamileinthiscountywithoutitsscreech—owl，therecanhardlybythistimebearesidentthatanAssuranceSocietywouldlookat。Veronicalikeshim。Sheevenlikeshisscreech。Ifoundherunderthetreetheothernight，wrappedupinashawl，tryingtolearnit。Asifoneofthemwerenotenough！

Itmademequitecrosswithher。Besides，itwasn’tabitlikeit，asItoldher。ShesaiditwasbetterthanIcoulddo，anyhow；andI

wasidiotenoughtotakeupthechallenge。Itmakesmeangrynow，whenIthinkofit：arespectable，middle—agedliteraryman，standingunderayew—treetryingtoscreechlikeanowl。Andthebirdwassillyenoughtoencourageus。

"Shewasacharminggirl，"Isaid，"seven—and—twentyyearsago，whenSt。Leonardfellinlovewithher。Shehadthosedark，dreamyeyessosuggestiveofveiledmysteries；andherlipsmusthavelookedbewitchingwhentheypouted。Iexpecttheyoftendid。Theydosostill；butthepoutofawomanofforty—sixnolongerfascinates。Toaprettygirlofnineteenaspiceoftemper，anillogicalunreasonableness，areaddedattractions：thescratchofablue—eyedkittenonlytemptsustoteaseherthemore。YoungHubertSt。

Leonard——hehadcurlybrownhair，withaprettytrickofblushing，andwasgoingtoconquertheworld——foundherfretfulness，herveryselfishnessadorable：andtoldherso，kneelingbeforeher，gazingintoherbewilderingeyes——onlyhecalleditherwaywardness，herimperiousness；beggedherforhissaketobemorecapricious。Toldherhowbeautifulshelookedwhendispleased。So，nodoubt，shedid—

—atnineteen。"

"Hedidn’ttellyouallthat，didhe？"demandedRobina。

"Notaword，"Ireassuredher，"exceptthatshewasacknowledgedbyallauthoritiestohavebeenthemostbeautifulgirlinTunbridgeWells，andthatherfatherhadbeenruinedbyarascallysolicitor。

No，Iwasmerely，tousethephraseoftheFrenchpolicecourts，’reconstructingthecrime。’"

"Itmaybeallwrong，"grumbledRobina。

"Itmaybe，"Iagreed。"Butwhy？Doesitstrikeyouasimprobable？"

Weweresittingintheporch，waitingforDicktocomebythewhitepathacrossthefield。

"No，"answeredRobina。"Itallsoundsveryprobable。Iwishitdidn’t。"

"Youmustremember，"Icontinued，"thatIamanoldplaygoer。Ihavesatoutsomanyofthisworld’sdramas。Itisaseasytoreconstructthembackwardsasforwards。WearewitnessingthelastactoftheSt。Leonarddrama：thatunsatisfactorylastactthatmerelyfillsouttimeaftertheplayisended！Theintermediateactswereprobablymoreexciting，containing’passionatescenes’playedwithmuchearnestness；chieflyfortheamusementoftheservants。Butthefirstact，withtheKentishlanesandwoodsforaback—cloth，musthavebeencharming。Herewasthedevoutlovershehadheardof，dreamedof。Itisdelightfultoberegardedasperfection——notabsoluteperfection，forthatmightputastrainuponustoliveupto，butassonearperfectionthattobemoreperfectwouldjustspoilit。Thespotsuponus，thatunappreciativefriendsandrelationswouldmagnifyintoblemishes，seenintheirtruelight：

artisticshadingrelievingafaultlessnessthatmightotherwiseprovetooglaring。DearHubertfoundherexcellentjustasshewasineverydetail。ItwouldhavebeenacrimeagainstLoveforhertoseektochangeherself。"

"Well，then，itwashisfault，"arguedRobina。"Ifhewassillyenoughtolikeherfaults，andencourageherinthem——"

"Whatcouldhehavedone，"Iasked，"evenifhehadseenthem？A

loverdoesnotpointouthismistress’sshortcomingstoher。"

"Muchthemoresensibleplanifhedid，"insistedRobina。"Thenifshecaredforhimshecouldsettoworktocureherself。"

"Youwouldlikeit？"Isaid；"youwouldappreciateitinyourowncase？CanyouimagineyoungBute——？"

"WhyyoungBute？"demandedRobina；"what’shegottodowithit？"

"Nothing，"Ianswered；"exceptthathehappenstobethefirstmalecreatureyouhaveevercomeacrosssinceyouweresixthatyouhaven’tflirtedwith。"

"Idon’tflirtwiththem，"saidRobina；"Imerelytrytobenicetothem。"

"WiththeexceptionofyoungBute，"Ipersisted。

"Heirritatesme，"Robinaexplained。

"Iwasreading，"Isaid，"theotherday，anaccountofthemarriagecustomsprevailingamongtheLowerCaucasians。Thelovertakeshisstandbeneathhislady’swindow，and，havingattractedherattention，proceedstosing。Andifsheseemstolikeit——ifshelistenstoitwithoutgettingmad，thatmeansshedoesn’twanthim。Butifshegetsupsetaboutit——slamsdownthewindowandwalksaway，thenit’sallright。Ithinkit’stheLowerCaucasians。"

"Mustbeaverysillypeople，"saidRobina；"Isupposeapailofwaterwouldbethehighestproofofheraffectionhecouldhopefor。"

"Acomplexbeing，man，"Iagreed。"WewillcallhimX。CanyouimagineyoungXcomingtoyouandsaying：’MydearRobina，youhavemanyexcellentqualities。Youcanbeamiable——solongasyouarehavingyourownwayineverything；butthwartedyoucanbejusthorrid。Youareverykind——tothosewhoarewillingforyoutobekindtotheminyourownway，whichisnotalwaystheirway。Youcanbequiteunselfish——whenyouhappentobeinanunselfishmood，whichisfarfromfrequent。Youarecapableandclever，but，likemostcapableandcleverpeople，impatientanddomineering；highlyenergeticwhennotfeelinglazy；readytoforgivethemomentyourtemperisexhausted。Youaregenerousandfrank，butifyourobjectcouldonlybegainedthroughmeannessordeceityouwouldnothesitateamomentlongerthanwasnecessarytoconvinceyourselfthatthecircumstancesjustifiedthemeans。Youaresympathetic，tender—

hearted，andhaveafinesenseofjustice；butIcanseethattongueofyours，ifnotcarefullywatched，wearingdecidedlyshrewish。Youhaveanyamountofgrit。Amanmightgotiger—huntingwithyou——withnoonebetter；butyouareobstinate，conceited，andexacting。Inshort，tosumyouup，youhaveallthemakingsinyouofanidealwifecombinedwithfaultssufficienttomakeaSocratesregrethe’devermarriedyou。’"

"Yes，Iwould！"saidRobina，springingtoherfeet。Icouldnotseeherface，butIknewtherewasthelookuponitthatmadePrimgatewanttopaintherasJoanofArc；onlyitwouldneverstoplongenough。"I’dlovehimfortalkinglikethat。AndI’drespecthim。

IfhewasthatsortofmanI’dprayGodtohelpmetobethesortofwomanhewantedmetobe。I’dtry。I’dtryalldaylong。Iwould！"

"Iwonder，"Isaid。Robinahadsurprisedme。Iadmitit。IthoughtIknewthesexbetter。

"Anygirlwould，"saidRobina。"He’dbeworthit。"

"Itwouldbeanewidea，"Imused。"GottimHimmel！whatanewworldmightitnotcreate！"Thefancybegantotakeholdofme。"Lovenolongerblind。Loverefusinganymoretobethepoorblindfool——

sportofgodsandmen。Lovenolongerpassion’sslave。Hisbondsbroken，thesenselessbandageflungaside。Lovehelpinglifeinsteadofmuddlingit。Marriage，thefoundationofcivilisation，nolongerreareduponthesandsofliesandillusions，butgrappledtotherockoftruth——reality。Haveyoueverread’TomJones？’"Isaid。

"No，"answeredRobina；"I’vealwayshearditwasn’tanicebook。"

"Itisn’t，"Isaid。"Manisn’taniceanimal，notallofhim。Norwomaneither。There’sadealofthebeastinman。Whatcanyouexpect？TillafewpaltrythousandsofyearsagoheWASabeast，fightingwithotherbeasts，hisfellowdenizensofthewoodsandcaves；watchingforhisprey，crouchedinthelonggrassoftheriver’sbank，tearingitwithclawsandteeth，growlingasheate。

Sohelivedanddiedthroughthedimunnamedages，transmittinghisbeast’sblood，hisbestialinstincts，tohisoffspring，growingeverstronger，fiercer，fromgenerationtogeneration，whiletherockspileduptheirstrataandtheoceansshapedtheirbeds。Moses！Why，LordRothschild’sgreat—grandfather，afewscoretimesremoved，musthaveknownMoses，talkedwithhim。Babylon！Itisamoderncity，fallenintodisuseforthemoment，owingtoalterationoftrafficroutes。History！itisataleofto—day。Manwascrawlingabouttheworldonallfours，learningtobeananimalformillionsofyearsbeforethesecretofhisbirthwaswhisperedtohim。Itisonlyduringthelastfewcenturiesthathehasbeentryingtobeaman。

Ourmodernmorality！Why，comparedwiththeteachingsofnature，itisbutafewdaysold。Whatdoyouexpect？Thatheshallforgetthelessonsoftheaeonsatthebiddingofthehours？"

"Thenyouadvisemetoread’TomJones’？"saidRobina。

"Yes，"Isaid，"Ido。IshouldnotifIthoughtyouwerestillachild，knowingonlyblindtrust，orblindterror。Thesunisnotextinguishedbecauseoccasionallyobscuredbymist；thescentoftheroseisnotdeadbecauseofthewormintheleaf。Ahealthyrosecanaffordafewworms——hasgotto，anyhow。AllmenarenotTomJoneses。

Thestandardofmasculinebehaviourcontinuestogoup：manyofusmakefineeffortstoconformtoit，andsomeofussucceed。ButtheTomJonesisthereinallofuswhoarenotanaemicorconsumptive。

Andthere’snosenseatallingettingcrosswithusaboutit，becausewecannothelpit。Wearedoingourbest。Inanotherhundredthousandyearsorso，providedallgoeswell，weshallbetheperfectman。Andseeingourearlytraining，Iflattermyselfthat，uptothepresent，wehavedoneremarkablywell。"

"Nothinglikebeingsatisfiedwithoneself，"saidRobina。

"I’mnotsatisfied，"Isaid；"I’monlyhopeful。ButitirritatesmewhenIhearpeopletalkasthoughmanhadbeenbornawhite—souledangelandwasmakingsupernaturaleffortstobecomeasinner。Thatseemstomethewaytodiscouragehim。Whathewantsisbuckingup；

somebodytosaytohim，’Bravo！why，thisissplendid！Justthink，myboy，whatyouwere，andthatnotsoverylongago——anunwashed，hairysavage；yourlawthatofthejungle，yourmoralsthoseoftherabbit—warren。Nowlookatyourself——dressedinyourlittleshinyhat，yourtrousersneatlycreased，walkingwithyourwifetochurchonSunday！Keepon——that’sallyou’vegottodo。InafewmorecenturiesyourownmotherNaturewon’tknowyou。

"Youwomen，"Icontinued；"why，ahandfulofyearsagoweboughtandsoldyou，keptyouincages，tookthesticktoyouwhenyouwerenotspryindoingwhatyouweretold。DidyoueverreadthehistoryofPatientGriselda？"

"Yes，"saidRobina，"Ihave。"IgatheredfromhertonethattheJoanofArcexpressionhaddeparted。HadPrimgatewantedtopaintheratthatparticularmomentIshouldhavesuggestedKatherine——duringtheearlierstages——listeningtoacurtainlecturefromPetruchio。"Areyousuggestingthatallwomenshouldtakeherforamodel？"

"No，"Isaid，"I’mnot。ThoughwerewelivinginChaucer’stimeI

might；andyouwouldnotthinkitevensilly。WhatI’mimpressinguponyouisthatthehumanracehasyetalittlewaytotravelbeforetheaveragemancanberegardedasanup—to—dateeditionofKingArthur——theKingArthurofthepoeticallegend，Imean。Don’tbetooimpatientwithhim。"

"Thinkingwhatabeasthehasbeenoughttomakehimimpatienthimselfwithhimself，"consideredRobina。"Heoughttobefeelingsoashamedofhimselfastobewillingtodoanything。"

Theowlintheoldyewscreamed，whetherwithindignationoramusementIcannottell。

"Andwoman，"Isaid，"hadthepowerbeenhers，wouldshehaveusedittosweeterpurpose？Whereisyourevidence？YourCleopatras，Pompadours，Jezebels；yourCatherinesofRussia，lateEmpressesofChina；yourFaustinesofallagesandallclimes；yourMotherBrownriggs；yourLucretiaBorgias，Salomes——Icouldwearyyouwithnames。YourRomantask—mistresses；yourdriversoflodging—houseslaveys；yourladieswhowhippedtheirpagestodeathintheMiddleAges；yourmoderndamesoffashion，deckedwiththeplumageofthetorturedgrove。Therehavebeenotherwomenalso——noblewomen，theirnameslikebeacon—lightsstuddingthedarkwasteofhistory。Sotherehavebeennoblemen——saints，martyrs，heroes。Thesex—linedividesusphysically，notmorally。Womanhasbeenman’saccompliceintoomanycrimestoclaimtobehisjudge。’MaleandfemalecreatedHethem’——likeandlike，forgoodandevil。"

BygoodfortuneIfoundaloosematch。Ilightedafreshcigar。

"Dick，Isuppose，istheaverageman，"saidRobina。

"Mostofusare，"Isaid，"whenweareathome。CarlylewastheaveragemaninthelittlefrontparlourinCheyneRow，though，tohearfoolstalk，youmightthinknomarriedcoupleoutsideliterarycircleshadeverbeenknowntoexchangeacrosslook。SowasOliverCromwellinhisownpalacewiththedoorshut。Mrs。Cromwellmusthavethoughthimmonstroussilly，placingstickysweetmeatsforhisgueststositon——toldhimso，mostlikely。Acheery，kindlyman，notwithstanding，thoughgiventomoods。HeandMrs。Cromwellseemtohaverubbedalong，onthewhole，prettywelltogether。OldSamJohnson——great，God—fearing，lovable，cantankerousoldbrute！Lifewithhim，inasmallhouseonalimitedincome，musthavehaditsupsanddowns。MiltonandFredericktheGreatwere，onehopes，alittlebelowtheaverage。Didtheirbest，nodoubt；lackedunderstanding。

Notsoeasyasitlooks，livinguptothestandardoftheaverageman。Verycleverpeople，inparticular，findittiring。"

"Ishallnevermarry，"saidRobina。"Atleast，IhopeIsha’n’t。"

"Why’hope’？"Iasked。

"BecauseIhopeIshallneverbeidiotenough，"sheanswered。"Iseeitallsoclearly。IwishIdidn’t。Love！it’sonlyanuglythingwithaprettyname。Itwillnotbemethathewillfallinlovewith。Hewillnotknowmeuntilitistoolate。Howcanhe？Itwillbemerelywiththeoutsideofme——mypink—and—whiteskin，myroundedarms。IfeelitsometimeswhenIseemenlookingatme，anditmakesmemad。Andatothertimestheadmirationintheireyespleasesme。Andthatmakesmemadderstill。"

Themoonhadslippedbehindthewood。Shehadrisen，and，leaningagainsttheporch，wasstandingwithherhandsclasped。Ifancyshehadforgottenme。Sheseemedtobetalkingtothenight。

"It’sonlyatrickofNaturetomakefoolsofus，"shesaid。"HewilltellmeIamalltheworldtohim；thathislovewilloutlivethestars——willbelieveithimselfatthetime，poorfellow！Hewillcallmeahundredprettynames，willkissmyfeetandhands。AndifI’mfoolenoughtolistentohim，itmaylast"——shelaughed；itwasratheranuglylaugh——"sixmonths；withluckperhapsayear，ifI’mcarefulnottogooutintheeastwindandcomehomewitharednose，andneverlethimcatchmeincurlpapers。Itwillnotbemethathewillwant：onlymyyouth，andthenoveltyofme，andthemystery。

Andwhenthatisgone——"

Sheturnedtome。ItwasastrangefaceIsawtheninthepalelight，quiteafiercelittleface。Shelaidherhandsuponmyshoulders，andIfeltthemcold。"Whatcomeswhenitisdead？"shesaid。"Whatfollows？Youmustknow。Tellme。Iwantthetruth。"

Hervehemencehadarisensosuddenly。ThelittlegirlIhadsetouttotalkwithwasnolongerthere。Tomybewilderment，itwasawomanthatwasquestioningme。

Idrewherdownbesideme。Butthechildishfacewasstillstern。

"Iwantthetruth，"shesaid；sothatIansweredverygravely：

"Whenthepassionispassed；whenthegloryandthewonderofDesire—

—Nature’seternalritualofmarriage，solemnising，sanctifyingittohercommands——isended；when，soonerorlater，somegreydawnfindsyouwanderingbewilderedinoncefamiliarplaces，seekingvainlythelostpalaceofyouth’sdreams；whenLove’sfrenzyisfaded，likethefragranceoftheblossom，likethesplendourofthedawn；therewillremaintoyou，justwhatwastherebefore——nomore，noless。Ifpassionwasallyouhadtogivetooneanother，Godhelpyou。Youhavehadyourhourofmadness。Itisfinished。Ifgreedofpraiseandworshipwasyourprice——well，youhavehadyourpayment。Thebargainiscomplete。Ifmerehopetobemadehappywasyourlure，onepitiesyou。Wedonotmakeeachotherhappy。Happinessisthegiftofthegods，notofman。Thesecretlieswithinyou，notwithout。WhatremainstoyouwilldependnotuponwhatyouTHOUGHT，butuponwhatyouARE。Ifbehindthelovertherewastheman——behindtheimpossiblegoddessofhislove—sickbrainsomehonest，humanwoman，thenlifeliesnotbehindyou，butbeforeyou。

"Lifeisgiving，notgetting。Thatisthemistakewemostofussetoutwith。Itistheworkthatisthejoy，notthewages；thegame，notthescore。Thelover’sdelightistoyield，nottoclaim。Thecrownofmotherhoodispain。ToservetheStateatcostofeaseandleisure；tospendhisthoughtandlabouruponahundredschemes，istheman’sambition。Lifeisdoing，nothaving。Itistogainthepeaktheclimberstrives，nottopossessit。Foolsmarrythinkingwhattheyaregoingtogetoutofit：goodstoreofjoysandpleasure，opportunitiesforself—indulgence，eternalsoftcaresses——

thewagesofthewanton。Therewardsofmarriagearetoil，duty，responsibility——manhood，womanhood。Love’sbabytalkyouwillhaveoutgrown。Youwillnolongerbehis’Goddess，’’Angel，’’PopsyWopsy，’’Queenofhisheart。’Therearefinernamesthanthese：

wife，mother，priestessinthetempleofhumanity。Marriageisrenunciation，thesacrificeofSelfuponthealtaroftherace。’A

trickofNature’youcallit。Perhaps。ButatrickofNaturecompellingyoutosurrenderyourselftothepurposesofGod。"

Ifancywemusthavesatinsilenceforquitealongwhile；forthemoon，creepingupwardpastthewood，hadfloodedthefieldsagainwithlightbeforeRobinaspoke。

"Thenallloveisneedless，"shesaid，"wecoulddobetterwithoutit，choosewithmorediscretion。Ifitisonlysomethingthatworriesusforalittlewhileandthenpasses，whatisthesenseofit？"

"YoucouldaskthesamequestionofLifeitself，"Isaid；"’somethingthatworriesusforalittlewhile，thenpasses。’Perhapsthe’worry，’asyoucallit，hasitsuses。Volcanicupheavalsarenecessarytothemakingofaworld。Withoutthemthegroundwouldremainrock—bound，unfittedforitspurposes。ThatexplosionofYouth’spent—upforcesthatwetermLoveservestothemakingofmanandwoman。Itdoesnotdie，ittakesnewshape。Theblossomfadesasthefruitforms。Thepassionpassestogiveplacetopeace。Thetremblingloverhasbecomethehelper，thecomforter，thehusband。"

"Butthefailures，"Robinapersisted；"Idonotmeanthesillyorthewickedpeople；butthepeoplewhobeginbyreallylovingoneanother，onlytoendindisliking——almosthatingoneanother。HowdoTHEYgetthere？"

"Sitdown，"Isaid，"andIwilltellyouastory。

"Onceuponatimetherewasagirl，andaboywholovedher。Shewasaclever，brilliantgirl，andshehadthefaceofanangel。Theylivedneartooneanother，seeingeachotheralmostdaily。Buttheboy，awedbythedifferenceoftheirsocialposition，kepthissecret，ashethought，tohimself；dreaming，asyouthwill，ofthedaywhenfameandwealthwouldbridgethegulfbetweenthem。Thekindlookinhereyes，theoccasionalseemingpressureofherhand，heallowedtofeedhishopes；andonthemorningofhisdepartureforLondonanincidentoccurredthatchangedhisvagueimaginingstosetresolve。Hehadsentonhisscantybaggagebythecarrier，intendingtowalkthethreemilestothestation。Itwasearlyinthemorning，andhehadnotexpectedtomeetasoul。Butamilefromthevillageheovertookher。Shewasreadingabook，butshemadenopretencethatthemeetingwasaccidental，leavinghimtoformwhatconclusionshewould。Shewalkedwithhimsomedistance，andhetoldherofhisplansandhopes；andsheansweredhimquitesimplythatsheshouldalwaysrememberhim，alwaysbemoregladthanshecouldtelltohearofhissuccess。Neartheendofthelanetheyparted，shewishinghiminthatlowsweetwoman’svoiceofhersallthingsgood。Heturned，alittlefartheron，andfoundthatshehadalsoturned。Shewavedherhandtohim，smiling。Andthroughthelongday’sjourneyandthroughmanydaystocomethereremainedwithhimthatpictureofher，bringingwithitthescentofthepine—woods：herwhitehandwavingtohim，hersweeteyessmilingwistfully。

"Butfameandfortunearenotwonsoquicklyasboysdream，norislifeaseasytolivebravelyasitlooksinvisions。Itwasnearlytwentyyearsbeforetheymetagain。Neitherhadmarried。Herpeopleweredeadandshewaslivingalone；andtohimtheworldatlasthadopenedherdoors。Shewasstillbeautiful。Agracious，gentlelady，shehadgrown；clothedwiththatsoftsweetdignitythatTimebestowsuponrarewomen，renderingthemfairerwiththeyears。

"Tothemanitseemedamiracle。Thedreamofthoseearlydayscamebacktohim。Surelytherewasnothingnowtoseparatethem。Nothinghadchangedbuttheyears，bringingtothembothwidersympathies，calmer，moreenduringemotions。Shewelcomedhimagainwiththeoldkindsmile，awarmerpressureofthehand；and，allowingalittletimetopassforcourtesy’ssake，hetoldherwhatwasthetruth：

thathehadneverceasedtoloveher，neverceasedtokeepthevisionofherfairpurefacebeforehim，hisidealofallthatmancouldfindofhelpinwomanhood。Andheranswer，untilyearslaterhereadtheexplanation，remainedamysterytohim。Shetoldhimthatshelovedhim，thatshehadneverlovedanyothermanandnevershould；

thathislove，forsolongashechosetogiveittoher，sheshouldalwaysprizeasthegreatestgiftofherlife。Butwiththatsheprayedhimtoremaincontent。

"Hethoughtperhapsitwasatouchofwoman’spride，ofhurtdignitythathehadkeptsilentsolong，nottrustingher；thatperhapsastimewentbyshewouldchangehermind。Butsheneverdid；andafterawhile，findingthathispersistenceonlypainedher，heacceptedthesituation。Shewasnotthetypeofwomanaboutwhompeopletalkscandal，norwouldithavetroubledhermuchhadtheydoneso。Ablenowtoworkwherehewould，hetookahouseinaneighbouringvillage，whereforthebestpartoftheyearhelived，neartoher。

Andtotheendtheyremainedlovers。"

"IthinkIunderstand，"saidRobina。"IwilltellyouafterwardsifIamwrong。"

"Itoldthestorytoawomanmanyyearsago，"Isaid，"andshealsothoughtsheunderstood。Butshewasonlyhalfright。"

"Wewillsee，"saidRobina。"Goon。"

"Sheleftaletter，tobegiventohimafterherdeath，incasehesurvivedher；ifnot，tobeburnedunopened。Initshetoldhimherreason，orratherherreasons，forhavingrefusedhim。Itwasanoddletter。The’reasons’soundedsopitiablyinsufficient。Untilonetookthepainstoexaminetheminthecoldlightofexperience。Andthenherletterstruckone，notasfoolish，butasoneofthegrimmestcommentariesuponmarriagethatperhapshadeverbeenpenned。

"Itwasbecauseshehadwishedalwaystoremainhisideal；tokeeptheirloveforoneanothertotheend，untarnished；tobehistruehelpmeetinallthings，thatshehadrefusedtomarryhim。

"Hadhespokenthatmorningshehadwaitedforhiminthelane——shehadhalfhoped，halffearedit——shemighthavegivenherpromise：

’ForYouth，’soshewrote，’alwaysdreamsitcanfindanewway。’

ShethankedGodthathehadnot。

"’Soonerorlater，’sorantheletter，’youwouldhavelearned，Dear，thatIwasneithersaintnorangel；butjustawoman——suchatiresome，inconsistentcreature；shewouldhaveexasperatedyou——fullofathousandfolliesandirritabilitiesthatwouldhavemarredforyouallthatwasgoodinher。Iwantedyoutohaveofmeonlywhatwasworthy，andthisseemedtheonlyway。Countingthehourstoyourcoming，hatingthepainofyourgoing，Icouldalwaysgivetoyoumybest。Theuglywords，thewhimsandfretsthatpoisonspeech——theycouldwait；itwasmylover’shour。

"’Andyou，Dear，werealwayssotender，sogay。Youbroughtmejoywithbothyourhands。Wouldithavebeenthesame，hadyoubeenmyhusband？Howcouldit？Thereweretimes，evenasitwas，whenyouvexedme。Forgiveme，Dear，Imeanitwasmyfault——waysofthoughtandactionthatdidnotfitinwithmyways，thatIwasnotlarge—

mindedenoughtopassover。Asmylover，theywerebutasspotsuponthesun。Itwaseasytocontrolthemomentaryirritationthattheycausedme。Timewastoopreciousforevenamomentofestrangement。

Asmyhusband，thejarringnotewouldhavebeencontinuous，wouldhavewidenedintodiscord。Yousee，Dear，IwasnotgreatenoughtoloveALLofyou。Iremember，asachild，howindignantIalwaysfeltwithGodwhenmynursetoldmeHewouldnotlovemebecauseIwasnaughty，thatHeonlylovedgoodchildren。Itseemedsuchapoorsortoflove，that。Yetthatispreciselyhowwemenandwomendolove；takingonlywhatgivesuspleasure，repayingtherestwithanger。Therewouldhavearisentheunkindwordsthatcanneverberecalled；theuglysilences；thegradualwithdrawingfromoneanother。Idarednotfaceit。

"’Itwasnotallselfishness。TruthfullyIcansayIthoughtmoreofyouthanofmyself。Iwantedtokeeptheshadowsoflifeawayfromyou。Wemenandwomenareliketheflowers。Itisinsunshinethatwecometoourbest。Youweremyhero。Iwantedyoutobegreat。I

wantedyoutobesurroundedbylovelydreams。Iwantedyourlovetobeathingholy，helpfultoyou。’

"Itwasalongletter。Ihavegivenyouthegistofit。"

Againtherewasasilencebetweenus。

"Youthinkshedidright？"askedRobina。

"Icannotsay，"Ianswered；"therearenorulesforLife，onlyfortheindividual。"

"Ihavereaditsomewhere，"saidRobina——"wherewasit？——’Lovesuffersallthings，andrejoices。’"

"MaybeinoldThomasKempis。Iamnotsure，"Isaid。

"Itseemstome，"saidRobina，"thattheexplanationliesinthatonesentenceofhers：’IwasnotgreatenoughtoloveALLofyou。’"

"Itseemstome，"Isaid，"thatthewholeartofmarriageistheartofgettingonwiththeotherfellow。Itmeanspatience，self—

control，forbearance。Itmeansthelayingasideofourself—conceitandadmittingtoourselvesthat，judgedbyeyeslesspartialthanourown，theremaybemuchinusthatisobjectionable，thatcallsforalteration。Itmeanstolerationforviewsandopinionsdiametricallyopposedtoourmostcherishedconvictions。Itmeans，ofnecessity，theabandonmentofmanyhabitsandindulgencesthathowevertrivialhavegrowntobeimportanttous。Itmeanstheshapingofourowndesirestotheneedsofothers；theacceptanceoftenofsurroundingsandconditionspersonallydistastefultous。Itmeansaffectiondeepandstrongenoughtobearawaytheuglythingsoflife——itsquarrels，wrongs，misunderstandings——swiftlyandsilentlyintotheseaofforgetfulness。Itmeanscourage，goodhumour，commonsense。"

"ThatiswhatIamsaying，"explainedRobina。"Itmeanslovinghimevenwhenhe’snaughty。"

Dickcameacrossthefields。Robinaroseandslippedintothehouse。

"Youarelookingmightysolemn，Dad，"saidDick。

"ThinkingofLife，Dick，"Iconfessed。"Ofthemeaningandtheexplanationofit。"

"Yes，it’saproblem，Life，"admittedDick。

"Abitofateaser，"Iagreed。

Wesmokedinsilenceforawhile。

"Lovingagoodwomanmustbeatremendoushelptoaman，"saidDick。

Helookedveryhandsome，verygallant，hisboyishfaceflashingchallengetotheFates。

"Tremendous，Dick，"Iagreed。

Robinacalledtohimthathissupperwasready。Heknockedtheashesfromhispipe，andfollowedherintothehouse。Theirlaughingvoicescametomebrokenthroughthehalf—closeddoors。Fromthenightaroundmeroseastrangelowmurmur。ItseemedtomeasthoughabovethesilenceIheardthefar—offmusicoftheMillsofGod。