第4章

Sheaddedthatanywishofhisofcoursewaslawtoher。

Hewasayoungandinexperiencedhusband；itseemedtohimahopefulopening。Hespokeofquitealotofthings——thingsaboutwhichhefeltthathewasrightandshewaswrong。Shewentandfetchedaquireofpaper，andborrowedhispencilandwrotethemdown。

Lateron，goingthroughhislettersinthestudy，hefoundanunexpectedcheque；andranupstairsandaskedherifshewouldnotliketocomeoutwithhimandgetherselfanewhat。

"Icouldhaveunderstoodit，"hemoaned，"ifshehaddroppedonmewhileIwas——well，Isuppose，youmightsaylecturingher。Shehadlistenedtoitlikealamb——hadn’topenedhermouthexcepttosay’yes，dear，’or’no，dear。’Then，whenIonlyaskedherifshe’dlikeanewhat，shegoessuddenlyravingmad。Ineversawawomangosomad。"

Idoubtiftherebeanythinginnaturequiteasunexpectedasawoman’stemper，unlessitbetumblingintoahole。ItoldallthistoDick。Ihavetoldithimbefore。Oneofthesedayshewillknowit。

"Youarerighttobeangrywithme，"Robinarepliedmeekly；"thereisnoexcuseforme。Thewholethingistheresultofmyownfolly。"

Herpathetichumilityshouldhaveappealedtohim。Hecanbesympathetic，whenheisn’thungry。Justthenhehappenedtobehungry。

"Ileftyoumakingapie，"hesaid。"Itlookedtomeafair—sizedpie。Therewasaduckonthetable，withacauliflowerandpotatoes；

Veronicawasuptoherelbowsinpeas。Itmademehungrymerelypassingthroughthekitchen。Iwouldn’thaveanythingtoeatinthetownforfearofspoilingmyappetite。Whereisitall？Youdon’tmeantosaythatyouandVeronicahaveeatenthewholeblessedlot！"

Thereisonething——sheadmitsitherself——thatexhaustsVeronica’spatience：itisunjustsuspicion。

"DoIlookasifI’deatenanythingforhoursandhours？"Veronicademanded。"Youcanfeelmywaistbandifyoudon’tbelieveme。"

"Yousaidjustnowyouhadhadyourlunch，"Dickargued。

"IknowIdid，"Veronicaadmitted。"Oneminuteyouaretoldthatitiswickedtotelllies；thenext——"

"Veronica！"Robinainterruptedthreateningly。

"It’seasyforyou，"retortedVeronica。"Youarenotagrowingchild。Youdon’tfeelit。"

"Theleastyoucando，"saidRobina，"istokeepsilence。"

"What’sthegood，"saidVeronica——notwithoutreason。"You’lltellthemwhenI’vegonetobed，andcan’tputinawordformyself。

Everythingisalwaysmyfault。IwishsometimesthatIwasdead。"

"ThatIweredead，"Icorrectedher。"Theverb’towish，’implyinguncertainty，shouldalwaysbefollowedbytheconditionalmood。"

"Youought，"saidRobina，"tobethankfultoProvidencethatyou’renotdead。"

"Peoplearesorrywhenyou’redead，"saidVeronica。

"Isupposethere’ssomebread—and—cheeseinthehouse，"suggestedDick。

"Thebaker，forsomereasonoranother，hasnotcalledthismorning，"

Robinaansweredsweetly。"Neitherunfortunatelyhasthegrocer。

Everythingthereistoeatinthehouseyouseeuponthetable。"

"Accidentswillhappen，"Isaid。"Thephilosopher——asourfriendSt。

Leonardwouldtellus——onlysmiles。"

"Icouldsmile，"saidDick，"ifitwerehislunch。"

"Cultivate，"Isaid，"asenseofhumour。Fromahumorouspointofviewthislunchisrathergood。"

"DidyouhaveanythingtoeatattheSt。Leonards’？"heasked。

"Justaglassorsoofbeerandasandwichortwo，"Iadmitted。

"Theybroughtitouttouswhileweweretalkingintheyard。Totellthetruth，Iwasfeelingratherpeckish。"

Dickmadenoanswer，butcontinuedtochewbacon—rind。NothingI

couldsayseemedtocheerhim。IthoughtIwouldtryreligion。

"Adinnerofherbs——thesentimentappliesequallytolunch——andcontentmenttherewithisbetter，"Isaid，"thanastalledox。"

"Don’ttalkaboutoxen，"heinterruptedfretfully。"IfeelIcouldjusteatone——aplumpone。"

ThereisamanIknow。Iconfessheirritatesme。Hisargumentisthatyoushouldalwaysrisefromamealfeelinghungry。AsIonceexplainedtohim，youcannotrisefromamealfeelinghungrywithoutsittingdowntoamealfeelinghungry；whichmeans，ofcourse，thatyouarealwayshungry。Heagreedwithme。Hesaidthatwastheidea——alwaysready。

"Mostpeople，"hesaid，"risefromamealfeelingnomoreinterestintheirfood。Thatwasamentalattitudeinjurioustodigestion。Keepitalwaysinterested；thatwastheproperwaytotreatit。"

"By’it’youmean……？"Isaid。

"Ofcourse，"heanswered；"I’mtalkingaboutit。"

"NowImyself；"heexplained——"Irisefrombreakfastfeelingeagerformylunch。Igetupfrommylunchlookingforwardtomydinner。

Igotobedjustreadyformybreakfast。"

Cheerfulexpectancy，hesaid，wasawonderfulaidtodigestion。"I

callmyself；"hesaid，"acheerfulfeeder。"

"Youdon’tseemtome，"Isaid，"tobeanythingelse。Youtalklikeatadpole。Haven’tyouanyotherinterestinlife？Whatabouthome，andpatriotism，andShakespeare——allthosesortofthings？Whynotgiveitasquaremeal，andsilenceitforanhourortwo；leaveyourselffreetothinkofsomethingelse。"

"Howcanyouthinkofanything，"heargued，"whenyourstomach’soutoforder？"

"Howcanyouthinkofanything，"Iargued，"whenittakesyouallyourtimetokeepitinorder？Youarenotaman；youareanursetoyourownstomach。"Weweregrowingexcited，bothofus，forgettingournaturalrefinement。"Youdon’tgetevenyouroneafternoonaweek。Youarehealthyenough，Iadmitit。SoaretheconvictsatPortland。Theyneversufferfromindigestion。Iknewadoctoroncewhoprescribedforapatienttwoyears’penalservitudeastheonlythinglikelytodohimpermanentgood。Yourstomachwon’tletyousmoke。Itwon’tletyoudrink——notwhenyouarethirsty。ItallowsyouaglassofApentawaterattimeswhenyoudon’twantit，assumingtherecouldeverbeatimewhenyoudidwantit。Youaredeprivedofyournaturalvictuals，andmadetoliveuponpreparedfood，asthoughyouweresomesortofaprizechicken。Youaresenttobedateleven，anddressedinhygienicclothingthatmakesnopretencetofityou。Talkofbeinghen—pecked！Why，themildesthusbandlivingwouldrunawayordrownhimself，ratherthanremaintiedfortherestofhisexistencetoyourstomach。"

"Itiseasytosneer，"hesaid。

"Iamnotsneering，"Isaid；"Iamsympathisingwithyou。"

Hesaidhedidnotwantanysympathy。HesaidifonlyIwouldgiveupover—eatinganddrinkingmyself，itwouldsurprisemehowbrightandintelligentIshouldbecome。

Ithoughtthismanmightbeofusetousonthepresentoccasion。

AccordinglyIspokeofhimandofhistheory。Dickseemedimpressed。

"Nicesortofman？"heasked。

"Anearnestman，"Ireplied。"Hepractiseswhathepreaches，andwhetherbecause，orinspiteofit，thefactremainsthatachirpiersoulIamsuredoesnotexist。"

"Married？"demandedDick。

"Asingleman，"Ianswered。"Inallthingsanidealist。Hehastoldmehewillnevermarryuntilhecanfindhisidealwoman。"

"WhataboutRobinahere！"suggestedDick。"Seemtohavebeenmadeforoneanother。"

Robinasmiled。Itwasawan，patheticsmile。

"Evenhe，"thoughtRobina，"wouldwanthisbeanscookedtotime，andtofeelthatareasonablesupplyofnutswasalwaysinthehouse。Weincompetentwomenneveroughttomarry。"

Wehadfinishedthebacon。Dicksaidhewouldtakeastrollintothetown。RobinasuggestedhemighttakeVeronicawithhim，thatperhapsabunandaglassofmilkwoulddothechildnoharm。

Veronicaforawonderseemedtoknowwhereallherthingswere。

BeforeDickhadfilledhispipeshewasreadydressedandwaitingforhim。Robinasaidshewouldgivethemalistofthingstheymightbringbackwiththem。ShealsoaskedDicktogettogetheraplumber，acarpenter，abricklayer，aglazier，andacivilengineer，andtoseetoitthattheystartedoffatonce。Shethoughtthatamongthemtheymightbeabletodoallthatwastemporarilynecessary，butthegreatthingwasthattheworkshouldbecommencedwithoutdelay。

"Why，whatonearth’sthematter，oldgirl？"askedDick。"Haveyouhadanaccident？"

ThenitwasthatRobinaexploded。Ihadbeenwonderingwhenitwouldhappen。ToDick’sastonishmentithappenedthen。

Yes，sheanswered，therehadbeenanaccident。Didhesupposethatsevenscrimpyscrapsofbaconwashernotionofalunchbetweenfourhungrypersons？Didhe，judgingfromhimself，imaginethatourfamilyyieldedonlylunatics？Wasitkind——wasitcourteoustohisparents，tothemotherhepretendedtolove，tothefatherwhosegreyhairshewasbyhisgeneralbehaviourbringingdowninsorrowtothegrave——toassumewithoutfurtherenquirythattheireldestdaughterwasanimbecile？（Myhair，by—the—bye，isnotgrey。Theremaybeasuggestionofgreynesshereandthere，thenaturalresultofdeepthinking。Todescribeitinthelumpasgreyistoshowlackofobservation。Andatforty—eight——oratrifleover——oneisnotgoingdownintothegrave，notstraightdown。Robinawhenexcitedusesexaggeratedlanguage。Ididnot，however，interrupther；shemeantwell。Addedtowhich，interruptingRobina，when——touseherownexpression——sheistiredofbeingaworm，isliketryingtostopacyclonewithanumbrella。）Hadhisattentionbeenlessconcentratedontheguzzlingofcoldbacon（hehadonlyhadfourmouthfuls，poorfellow）——hadhenoticedthesweetpatientchildstarvingbeforehisveryeyes（thisreferredtoVeronica）——hispooreldersister，wornoutwithworkandworry，piningfornourishmentherself，itmighthaveoccurredtoevenhisintelligencethattherehadbeenanaccident。Theselfishness，theegotismofmenitwasthatstaggered，overwhelmedRobina，whenshecametothinkofit。

Robinapaused。Notforwantofmaterial，Ijudged，somuchaswantofbreath。Veronicaperformedausefulservicebyseizingthemomenttoexpressahopethatitwasnotearly—closingday。Robinafeltaconvictionthatitwas：itwouldbejustlikeDicktostandtheredawdlinginacornertillitwastoolatetodoanything。

"Ihavebeentryingtogetoutofthiscornerforthelastfiveminutes，"explainedDick，withthatangelicsmileofhisthatI

confessisirritating。"Ifyouhavedonetalking，andwillgivemeanopening，Iwillgo。"

Robinatoldhimthatshehaddonetalking。Shegavehimherreasonsforhavingdonetalking。Iftalkingtohimwouldbeofanyuseshewouldoftenhavefeltitherdutytotalktohim，notonlywithregardtohisstupidityandselfishnessandgeneralaggravatingness，butwithreferencetohischaracterasawhole。Herexcusefornottalkingtohimwasthecrushingconvictionofthehopelessnessofevereffectinganyimprovementinhim。Wereitotherwise—

"Seriouslyspeaking，"saidDick，nowescapedfromhiscorner，"something，Itakeit，hasgonewrongwiththestove，andyouwantasortofgeneralsmith。"

Heopenedthekitchendoorandlookedin。

"GreatScott！"hesaid。"Whatwasit——anearthquake？"

Ilookedinoverhisshoulder。

"Butitcouldnothavebeenanearthquake，"Isaid。"Weshouldhavefeltit。"

"Itisnotanearthquake，"explainedRobina。"Itisyouryoungestdaughter’snotionofmakingherselfuseful。"

Robinaspokeseverely。IfeltforthemomentasifIhaddoneitallmyself。Ihadanunclewhousedtotalklikethat。"Youraunt，"hewouldsay，regardingmewithareproachfuleye，"yourauntcanbe，whenshelikes，themosttryingwomantolivewithIhaveeverknown。"Itwoulddepressmefordays。IwouldwonderwhetherI

oughttospeaktoheraboutit，orwhetherIshouldbedoingonlyharm。

"Buthowdidshedoit？"Idemanded。"Itisimpossiblethatamerechild——whereisthechild？"

TheparlourcontainedbutRobina。Ihurriedtothedoor；Dickwasalreadyhalfacrossthefield。VeronicaIcouldnotsee。

"Wearemakinghaste，"Dickshoutedback，"incaseitisearly—

closingday。"

"IwantVeronica！"Ishouted。

"What？"shoutedDick。

"Veronica！"Ishoutedwithmyhandstomymouth。

"Yes！"shoutedDick。"She’sonahead。"

Itwasuselessscreaminganymore。Hewasnowclimbingthestile。

"Theyalwaystakeeachother’spart，thosetwo，"sighedRobina。

"Yes，andyouarejustasbad，"Itoldher；"ifhedoesn’t，youdo。

Andthenifit’syoutheytakeyourpart。Andyoutakehispart。

Andhetakesbothyourparts。AndbetweenyouallIamjustgettingtiredofbringinganyofyouup。"（Whichisthetruth。）"Howdidthisthinghappen？"

"Ihadgoteverythingfinished，"answeredRobina。"Theduckwasintheovenwiththepie；thepeasandpotatoeswereboilingnicely。I

wasfeelinghot，andIthoughtIcouldtrustVeronicatowatchthethingsforawhile。ShepromisednottoplayKingAlfred。"

"What’sthat？"Iasked。

"Youknow，"saidRobina——"KingAlfredandthecakes。Ileftheroneafternoonlastyearwhenwewereonthehouseboattowatchsomebuns。

WhenIcamebackshewassittinginfrontofthefire，wrappedupinthetable—cloth，withDick’sbanjoonherkneesandacardboardcrownuponherhead。Thebunswereallburnttoacinder。AsItoldher，ifIhadknownwhatshewantedtobeuptoIcouldhavegivenhersomeextrabitsofdoughtomakebelievewith。Butoh，no！ifyouplease，thatwouldnothavesuitedheratall。Itwastheirbeingrealbuns，andmybeingrealmad，thatwasthebestpartofthegame。

Sheisanuncannychild。"

"Whatwasthegamethistime？"Iasked。

"Idon’tthinkitwasintendedforagame——notatfirst，"answeredRobina。"Iwentintothewoodtopicksomeflowersforthetable。I

wasonmywayback，stillatsomedistancefromthehouse，whenI

heardquitealoudreport。Itookitforagun，andwonderedwhatanyonewouldbeshootinginJuly。Itmustberabbits，Ithought。

Rabbitsneverseemtohaveanytimeatalltothemselves，poorthings。AndinconsequenceIdidnothurrymyself。ItmusthavebeenabouttwentyminuteslaterwhenIcameinsightofthehouse。

Veronicawasinthegardendeepinconfabulationwithanawful—

lookingboy，dressedinnothingbutrags。Hisfaceandhandswerealmostblack。Youneversawsuchanobject。Theybothseemedveryexcited。Veronicacametomeetme；andwithafaceasseriousasmineisnow，stoodthereandtoldmethemostbarefacedpackofliesyoueverheard。ShesaidthatafewminutesafterIhadgone，robbershadcomeoutofthewood——shetalkedaboutthemasthoughtherehadbeenhundreds——andhadwiththemostawfulthreatsdemandedtobeadmittedintothehouse。Whytheyhadnotliftedthelatchandwalkedin，shedidnotexplain。Itappearedthiscottagewastheirsecretrendezvous，wherealltheirtreasurelieshidden。Veronicawouldnotletthemin，butshoutedforhelp：andimmediatelythisawful—lookingboy，towhomsheintroducedmeas’SirRobert’

somethingoranother，hadappeareduponthescene；andthentherehadfollowed——well，Ihavenotthepatiencetotellyouthewholeoftherigmaroletheyhadconcocted。Theupshotofitwasthattherobbers，defeatedintheirattempttogetintothehouse，hadfiredasecretmine，whichhadexplodedinthekitchen。IfIdidnotbelievethemI

couldgointothekitchenandseeformyself。SaywhatIwould，thatisthestorytheybothstuckto。ItwasnottillIhadtalkedtoVeronicaforaquarterofanhour，andhadtoldherthatyouwouldmostcertainlycommunicatewiththepolice，andthatshewouldhavetoconvinceajudgeandjuryofthetruthofherstory，thatIgotanysenseatalloutofher。"

"Whatwasthesenseyoudidgetoutofher？"Iasked。

"Well，Iamnotsureevennowthatitisthetruth，"saidRobina——

"thechilddoesnotseemtopossessaproperconscience。Whatshewillgrowuplike，ifsomethingdoesnothappentochangeher，itisawfultothink。"

"Idon’twanttoappearahustler，"Isaid，"andmaybeIammistakenintheactualtime，butitfeelstomelikehourssinceIaskedyouhowthecatastrophereallyoccurred。"

"Iamtellingyou，"explainedRobina，hurt。"ShewasinthekitchenyesterdaywhenImentionedtoHarry’smother，whohadlookedintohelpmewashup，thatthekitchenchimneysmoked：andthenshesaid—

—"

"Whosaid？"Iasked。

"Why，shedid，"answeredRobina，"Harry’smother。Shesaidthatveryoftenapennyworthofgunpowder——"

"Nowatlastwehavebegun，"Isaid。"FromthispointImaybeabletohelpyou，andwewillgeton。Attheword’gunpowder’Veronicaprickedupherears。ThethingbyitsverynaturewouldappealtoVeronica’ssympathies。Shewenttobeddreamingofgunpowder。Leftinsolitudebeforethekitchenfire，othermaidensmighthaveseenpicturedintheglowingcoals，princes，carriages，andballs。

Veronicasawvisionsofgunpowder。Whoknows？——perhapsevensheonedaywillhavegunpowderofherown！Shelooksupfromherreverie：

afairygodmammainthedisguiseofasmallboy——itwasasmallboy，wasitnot？"

"Ratheranicelittleboy，hegavemetheideaofhavingbeen，originally，"answeredRobina；"thechild，Ishouldsay，ofwell—to—doparents。HewasdressedinalittleLordFauntleroysuit——orrather，hehadbeen。"

"DidVeronicaknowhowhewas——anythingabouthim？"Iasked。

"NothingthatIcouldgetoutofher，"repliedRobina；"youknowherway——howshechumsonwithanybodyandeverybody。AsItoldher，ifshehadbeenattendingtoherdutiesinsteadofstaringoutofthewindow，shewouldnothaveseenhim。Hehappenedtobecrossingthefieldjustatthetime。"

"Aboyborntoill—luck，evidently，"Iobserved。"ToVeronicaofcourseheseemedliketheanswertoaprayer。Aboywouldsurelyknowwheregunpowdercouldbeculled。"

"Theymusthavegotapoundofitfromsomewhere，"saidRobina，"judgingfromtheresult。"

"Anynotionwheretheygotitfrom？"Iasked。

"No，"explainedRobina。"AllVeronicacansayisthathetoldherheknewwherehecouldgetsome，andwasgoneabouttenminutes。Ofcoursetheymusthavestolenit——eventhatdidnotseemtotroubleher。"

"Itcametoherasagiftfromthegods，Robina，"Iexplained。"I

rememberhowImyselfusedtofeelaboutthesethings，atten。Tohaveenquiredfurtherwouldhaveseemedtoherimpious。Howwasittheywerenotbothkilled？"

"Providence，"wasRobina’ssuggestion：itseemedtobetheonlyonepossible。"Theyliftedoffoneofthesaucepansandjustdroppedthethingin——fortunatelywrappedupinabrownpaperparcel，whichgavethembothtimetogetoutofthehouse。AtleastVeronicagotclearoff。Forachangeitwasnotshewhofelloverthemat，itwastheboy。"

Ilookedagainintothekitchen；thenIreturnedandputmyhandsonRobina’sshoulders。"Itisamostamusingincident——asithasturnedout，"Isaid。

"Itmighthaveturnedoutratherseriously，"thoughtRobina。

"Itmight，"Iagreed："shemightbelyingupstairs。"

"Sheisawicked，heartlesschild，"saidRobina；"sheoughttobepunished。"

IlentRobinamyhandkerchief；sheneverhasoneofherown。

"Sheisgoingtobepunished，"Isaid；"Iwillthinkofsomething。"

"AndsooughtI，"saidRobina；"itwasmyfault，leavingher，knowingwhatshe’slike。Imighthavemurderedher。Shedoesn’tcare。

She’sstuffingherselfwithcakesatthisverymoment。"

"Theywillprobablygiveherindigestion，"Isaid。"Ihopetheydo。"

"Whydidn’tyouhavebetterchildren？"sobbedRobina；"wearenoneofusanygoodtoyou。"

"YouarenotthechildrenIwanted，Iconfess，"Ianswered。

"That’sanicekindthingtosay！"retortedRobinaindignantly。

"Iwantedsuchcharmingchildren，"Iexplained——"myideaofcharmingchildren：thechildrenIhadimaginedformyself。Evenasbabiesyoudisappointedme。"

Robinalookedastonished。

"You，Robina，werethemostdisappointing，"Icomplained。"Dickwasaboy。Onedoesnotcalculateuponboyangels；andbythetimeVeronicaarrivedIhadgotmoreusedtothings。ButIwassoexcitedwhenyoucame。TheLittleMotherandIwouldstealatnightintothenursery。’Isn’titwonderful，’theLittleMotherwouldwhisper，’tothinkitalllieshiddenthere：thelittletiresomechild，thesweethearttheywillonedaytakeawayfromus，thewife，themother？’’Iamgladitisagirl，’Iwouldwhisper；’Ishallbeabletowatchhergrowintowomanhood。Mostofthegirlsonecomesacrossinbooksstrikeoneasnotperhapsquitetruetolife。Itwillgivemesuchanadvantagehavingagirlofmyown。Ishallkeepanote—

book，withalockandkey，devotedtoher。’"

"Didyou？"askedRobina。

"Iputitaway，"Ianswered；"therewerebutafewpageswrittenon。

Itcametomequiteearlyinyourlifethatyouwerenotgoingtobethemodelheroine。Iwaslookingforthepicturebaby，theclean，thoughtfulbaby，withitsmagical，mysticalsmile。Iwrotepoetryaboutyou，Robina，butyouwouldslobberandhowl。Yourlittlenosewasalwayshavingtobewiped，andsomehowthepoetrydidnotseemtofityou。Youwereatyourbestwhenyouwereasleep，butyouwouldnotevensleepwhenitwasexpectedofyou。Ithink，Robina，thatthefellowswhodrawthepicturesforthecomicjournalsofthemaninhisnight—shirtwiththesquallingbabyinhisarmsmustallbesinglemen。Themarriedmanseesonlysadnessinthedesign。Itisnotthemerediscomfort。Ifthelittlecreaturewereillorinpainweshouldnotthinkofthat。Itisthereflectionthatwe，whomeantsowell，havebroughtintotheworldjustanordinaryfretfulhumancreaturewithanastytemperofitsown：thatisthetragedy，Robina。Andthenyougrewintoalittlegirl。Iwantedthesoulfullittlegirlwiththefathomlesseyes，whowouldstealtomeattwilightandquestionmeconcerninglife’sconundrums。

"ButIusedtoaskyouquestions，"grumbledRobina，"andyouwouldtellmenottobesilly。"

"Don’tyouunderstand，Robina？"Ianswered。"Iamnotblamingyou，I

amblamingmyself。Wearelikechildrenwhoplantseedsinagarden，andthenareangrywiththeflowersbecausetheyarenotwhatweexpected。Youwereadearlittlegirl；Iseethatnow，lookingback。

ButnotthelittlegirlIhadinmymind。SoImissedyou，thinkingofthelittlegirlyouwerenot。Wedothatallourlives，Robina。

Wearealwayslookingfortheflowersthatdonotgrow，passingby，tramplingunderfoot，theblossomsroundaboutus。ItwasthesamewithDick。Iwantedanaughtyboy。Well，Dickwasnaughty，noonecansaythathewasnot。Butitwasnotmynaughtiness。Iwaspreparedforhisrobbingorchards。Iratherhopedhewouldroborchards。Allthehigh—spiritedboysinbooksroborchards，andbecomegreatmen。Buttherewerenotanyorchardshandy。WehappenedtobelivinginChelseaatthetimeheoughttohavebeenrobbingorchards：that，ofcourse，wasmyfault。Ididnotthinkofthat。Hestoleabicyclethataladyhadleftoutsidethetea—roominBatterseaPark，heandanotherboy，thesonofacommonbarber，whoshavedpeopleforthree—halfpence。IamaRepublicanintheory，butitgrievedmethatasonofminecouldbedrawntosuchcompanionship。Theycontrivedtokeepitforaweek——tillthepolicefounditonenight，artfullyhiddenbehindbushes。Logically，Idonotseewhystealingapplesshouldbenobleandstealingbicyclesshouldbemean，butitstruckmethatwayatthetime。ItwasnottheparticularstealIhadbeenhopingfor。

"Iwantedhimwild；theheroofthebookwaseverinhiscollegedaysawildyoungman。Well，hewaswild。ItcostmethreehundredpoundstokeepthatbreachofpromisecaseoutofCourt；Ihadneverimaginedabreachofpromisecase。Thenhegotdrunk，andbonnetedabishopinmistakefora’bull—dog。’Ididn’tmindthebishop。Thatbyitselfwouldhavebeenwholesomefun。Buttothinkthatasonofmineshouldhavebeendrunk！"

"Hehasneverbeendrunksince，"pleadedRobina。"Hehadonlythreeglassesofchampagneandaliqueur：itwastheliqueur——hewasnotusedtoit。Hegotintothewrongset。Youcannotincollegebelongtothewildsetwithoutgettingdrunkoccasionally。"

"Perhapsnot，"Iadmitted。"Inthebookthewildyoungmandrinkswithoutevergettingdrunk。Maybethereisadifferencebetweenlifeandthebook。Inthebookyouenjoyyourfun，butcontrivesomehowtoescapethelicking：inlifethelickingistheonlythingsure。

ItwasthewildyoungmanoffictionIwaslookingfor，who，afortnightbeforetheexam。，tiesawettowelroundhishead，drinksstrongtea，andpasseseasilywithhonours。Hetriedthewettowel，hetellsme。Itneverwouldkeepinitsplace。Addedtowhichitgavehimneuralgia；whilethestrongteagavehimindigestion。I

usedtopicturemyselftheproud，indulgentfatherlecturinghimforhiswildness——turningawayatsomepointinthemiddleofmytiradetohideasmile。Therewasneveranysmiletohide。Ifeelthathehasbehaveddisgracefully，wastinghistimeandmymoney。"

"Heisgoingtoturnoveranewleaf；"saidRobina："Iamsurehewillmakeanexcellentfarmer。"

"Ididnotwantafarmer，"Iexplained；"IwantedaPrimeMinister。

Children，Robina，areverydisappointing。Veronicaisallwrong。I

likeamischievouschild。Ilikereadingstoriesofmischievouschildren：theyamuseme。Butnotthechildwhoputsapoundofgunpowderintoared—hotfire，andescapeswithherlifebyamiracle。"

"Andyet，Idaresay，"suggestedRobina，"thatifoneputitintoabook——Imeanthatifyouputitintoabook，itwouldreadamusingly。"

"Likelyenough，"Iagreed。"Otherpeople’stroublescanalwaysbeamusing。Asitis，Ishallbeinastateofanxietyforthenextsixmonths，wondering，everymomentthatsheisoutofmysight，whatnewdevilmentsheisupto。TheLittleMotherwillbeworriedoutofherlife，unlesswecankeepitfromher。"

"Childrenwillbechildren，"murmuredRobina，meaningtobecomforting。

"ThatiswhatIamcomplainingof，Robina。Wearealwayshopingthatourswon’tbe。Sheisfulloffaults，Veronica，andtheyarenotalwaysnicefaults。Sheislazy——lazyisnotthewordforit。"

"Sheislazy，"Robinawascompelledtoadmit。

"Thereareotherfaultsshemighthavehadandwelcome，"Ipointedout；"faultsIcouldhavetakenaninterestinandlikedherallthebetterfor。Youchildrenaresoobstinate。Youwillchooseyourownfaults。Veronicaisnottruthfulalways。IwantedafamilyoflittleGeorgeWashingtons，whocouldnottellalie。Veronicacan。

Togetherselfoutoftrouble——andprovidedthereisanyhopeofanybodybelievingher——shedoes。"

"Weallofususedtowhenwewereyoung，"Robinamaintained；"Dickusedto，Iusedto。Itisacommonfaultwithchildren。"

"Iknowitis，"Ianswered。"Ididnotwantachildwithcommonfaults。Iwantedsomethingallmyown。Iwantedyou，Robina，tobemyidealdaughter。IhadagirlinmymindthatIamsurewouldhavebeencharming。Youarenotabitlikeher。Idon’tsayshewasperfect，shehadherfailings，buttheyweresuchdelightfulfailings——muchbetterthanyours，Robina。Shehadatemper——awomanwithoutatemperisinsipid；butitwasthatkindoftemperthatmadeyouloveherallthemore。Yoursdoesn’t，Robina。Iwishyouhadnotbeeninsuchahurry，andhadleftmetoarrangeyourtemperforyou。Weshouldallofushavepreferredmine。Ithadalltheattractionsoftemperwithoutthedrawbacksoftheordinarytemper。"

"Couldn’tuseitup，Isuppose，foryourself，Pa？"suggestedRobina。

"Itwasalady’stemper，"Iexplained。"Besides，"asIaskedher，"whatiswrongwiththeoneIhave？"

"Nothing，"answeredRobina。Yethertoneconveyeddoubt。"Itseemstomesometimesthatanoldertemperwouldsuityoubetter，thatwasall。"

"Youhavehintedasmuchbefore，Robina，"Iremarked，"notonlywithreferencetomytemper，butwithreferencetothingsgenerally。OnewouldthinkthatyouweredissatisfiedwithmebecauseIamtooyoung。"

"Notinyearsperhaps，"repliedRobina，"but——well，youknowwhatI

mean。Onewantsone’sfathertobealwaysgreatanddignified。"

"Wecannotchangeourego，"Iexplainedtoher。"Somedaughterswouldappreciateafatheryouthfulenoughintemperamenttosympathisewithandtoindulgethem。Thesolemnoldfogeyyouhaveinyourmindwouldhavebroughtyouupverydifferently。Letmetellyouthat，mygirl。Youwouldnothavelikedhim，ifyouhadhadhim。"

"Perhapsnot，"Robinaagreed。"Youareawfullygoodinsomeways。"

"Whatwehavegottodointhisworld，Robina，"Isaid，"istotakepeopleastheyare，andmakethebestofthem。Wecannotexpecteverybodytobejustaswewouldhavethem，andmaybeweshouldnotlikethemanybetteriftheywere。Don’tbotheryourselfabouthowmuchnicertheymightbe；thinkhownicetheyare。"

Robinasaidshewouldtry。IhavehopesofmakingRobinaasensiblewoman。

CHAPTERVII

DickandVeronicareturnedladenwithparcels。Theyexplainedthat"DaddySlee，"asitappearedhewasgenerallycalled，alocalbuilderofrenown，wasfollowinginhispony—cart，andwaskindlybringingthebulkierthingswithhim。

"Itriedtohustlehim，"saidDick，"butcomingupafterhehadwashedhimselfandhadhisteaseemedtobehisideaofhustling。HehasgotthereputationofbeinganhonestoldJohnny，slowbutsure；

theothers，theytellme，areslower。Ithoughtyoumightcare，lateron，totalktohimaboutthehouse。"

Veronicatookoffherthingsandputthemaway，eachoneinitsproperplace。Shesaid，ifnoonewantedher，shewouldreadachapterof"TheVicarofWakefield，"andretiredupstairs。RobinaandIhadaneggwithourtea；Mr。Sleearrivedaswehadfinished，andItookhimstraightintothekitchen。Hewasalargeman，withadreamyexpressionandahabitofsighing。Hesighedwhenhesawourkitchen。

"There’sfourdays’workforthreemenhere，"hesaid，"andyou’llwantanewstove。Lord！whattroublechildrencanbe！"

Robinaagreedwithhim。

"Meanwhile，"shedemanded，"howamItocook？"

"Myself，missie，"sighedMr。Slee，"Idon’tseehowyouaregoingtocook。"

"We’llallhavetotramphomeagain，"thoughtDick。

"AndtellLittleMotherthereason，andfrightenheroutofherlife！"retortedRobinaindignantly。

Robinahadotherideas。Mr。Sleedeparted，promisingthatworkshouldbecommencedatseveno’clockonMondaymorning。Robina，thedoorclosed，begantotalk。

"LetPahaveasandwich，"saidRobina，"andcatchthesix—fifteen。"

"Wemightallhaveasandwich，"suggestedDick；"Icoulddowithonemyself。"

"Pacanexplain，"saidRobina，"thathehasbeencalledbacktotownonbusiness。Thatwillaccountforeverything，andLittleMotherwillnotbealarmed。"

"Shewon’tbelievethatbusinesshasbroughthimbackatnineo’clockonaSaturdaynight，"arguedDick；"youthinkthatLittleMotherhasn’tanysense。She’llseethere’ssomethingup，andaskahundredquestions。Youknowwhatsheis。"

"Pa，"saidRobina，"willhavetimewhileinthetraintothinkoutsomethingplausible；that’swherePaisclever。WithPaoffmyhandsIsha’n’tmind。Wethreecanliveoncoldhamandthingslikethat。

ByThursdaywewillbeallright，andthenhecancomedownagain。"

IpointedouttoRobina，kindlybutfirmly，theutterabsurdityofheridea。HowcouldIleavethem，threehelplesschildren，withnoonetolookafterthem？WhatwouldtheLittleMothersay？WhatmightnotVeronicabeuptoinmyabsence？Therewereotherthingstobeconsidered。Thedonkeymightarriveatanymoment——noresponsiblepersontheretoreceivehim——toseetoitthathissimplewantswouldbeprovidedfor。IshouldhavetointerviewMr。St。

LeonardagaintofixupfinaldetailsasregardedDick。Whowasgoingtolookafterthecow，abouttobeseparatedfromus？YoungButewouldbedownagainwithplans。Whowasgoingtotakehimoverthehouse，explainthingstohimintelligibly？Thenewboymightturnup——thissimplesonofthesoilMissJaniehadpromisedtodigoutandsendalong。HewouldtalkBerkshire。Whowouldtherebetounderstandhim——toreplytohimindialect？Whatwastheuseofherbeingimpetuousandtalkingnonsense？

Shewentoncuttingsandwiches。Shesaidtheywerenothelplesschildren。ShesaidifsheandDickatforty—twohadn’tgritenoughtorunasix—roomedcottageitwastimetheylearned。

"Who’sforty—two？"Idemanded。

"Weare，"explainedRobina，"DickandI——betweenus。Weshallbeforty—twonextbirthday。Nearlyyourownage。"

"Veronica，"shecontinued，"forthenextfewdayswon’tbeachildatall。Sheknowsnothingofthehappymedium。Sheiseitherherselforshegoestotheoppositeextreme，andtriestobeanangel。Tillabouttheendoftheweekitwillbelikelivingwithavision。Asforthedonkey，we’lltryandmakehimfeelasmuchathomeasifyouwerehere。"

"Idon’tmeantoberude，Pa，"Robinaexplained，"butfromthewayyouputityouevidentlyregardyourselfastheonlyoneamonguscapableofinterestinghim。Itakeithewon’tmindforanightortwosharingtheshedwiththecow。Ifhelooksshockedatthesuggestion，Dickcanknockupapartition。I’dratherforthepresent，tillyoucomedownagain，thecowstoppedwhereshewas。

Shehelpstowakemeinthemorning。YoumayreckonyouhavesettledeverythingasfarasDickisconcerned。IfyoutalktoSt。LeonardagainforanhouritwillbeaboutthefutureoftheYellowRacesorthepossibilityoflifeinJupiter。Ifyoumentiontermshewillbeinsulted，andifhewon’tletyouthenyouwillbeinsulted，andthewholethingwillbeoff。LetmetalktoJanie。We’vebothofusgotsense。AsforMr。Bute，Iknowallyourideasaboutthehouse，andI

sha’n’tlistentoanyofhissillyarguments。Whatthatyoungmanwantsissomeonetotellhimwhathe’sgottodo，andthenlettherebeanendofit。Andthesoonerthathandyboyturnsupthebetter。

Idon’tmindwhathetalks。AllIwanthimtodoistocleanknivesandfetchwaterandchopwood。AttheworstI’llgetthathometohimbypantomime。Forconversationhecanwaittillyoucomedown。"

Thatisthegistofwhatshesaid。Itdidn’trunexactlyasIhaveputitdown。TherewerepointsatwhichIinterrupted，butRobinaneverlistens；shejusttalkson，andattheendsheassumesthat，asamatterofcourse，youhavecomeroundtoherpointofview，andpersuadingherthatyouhaven’tmeansbeginningthewholethingoveragain。

ShesaidIhadn’ttimetotalk，andthatshewouldwriteandtellmeeverything。Dickalsosaidhewouldwriteandtellmeeverything；

andthatifIfeltmovedtosendthemdownahamper——thesortofthingthat，lefttothemselves，Fortnum&Masonwouldputtogetherforagood—classpicnic，say，forsixpersons——Imightrelyuponitthatnothingwouldbewasted。

Veronica，bymydesire，walkedwithmetotheendofthelane。I

talkedtoherveryseriously。Herdifficultywasthatshehadnotbeenblownup。Hadshebeenblownup，thenshewouldhaveknownherselfshehaddonewrong。Inthebookitisthedisobedientchildthatistossedbythebull。Thechildthathasbeensentwiththelittlebaskettovisitthesickauntmayberightinthebull’sway。

Thatisabitofbadluckforthebull。Thepoorbulliscompelledtowastevaluabletimeworkingroundcarefully，soasnottoupsetthebasket。Ifthewickedchildhadsense（whichinthebookdoesnothappen），itwould，whilethebullwasdodgingtogetpastthegoodchild，seizetheopportunitytomoveitselfquickly。Thewickedchildneverlooksround，butpegsalongsteadily；andwhenthebullarrivesitissuretobeinthemostconvenientpositionforreceivingmorallessons。Thegoodchild，whateveritsweight，crossestheiceinsafety。Thebadchildmayturnthescaleattwostonelighter；theicewillhavenoneofhim。"Don’tyoutalktomeaboutrelativepressuretothesquareinch，"saystheindignantice。

"Youwereunkindtoyourlittlebabybrothertheweekbeforelast：

inyougo。"Veronica’sargument，temperatelyandcourteouslyexpressed，Iadmit，camepracticallytothis：

"Imayhaveactedwithoutsufficientknowledgetoguideme。Myeducationhasnot，perhaps，onthewhole，beenorderedwisely。

SubjectsthatIfeelwillneverbeoftheslightestinterestorconsequencetomehavebeeninsisteduponwithalmosttiresomereiteration。Mattersthatshouldbeusefulandhelpfultome——

gunpowder，totakebutoneexample——Ihavebeenleftinignoranceconcerning。AboutallthatIsaynothing；peoplehavedonetheirbestaccordingtotheirlights，nodoubt。When，however，wecometopurityofmotives，singlenessofintention，then，Imaintain，Iamabovereproach。TheproofofthisisthatProvidencehasbestoweduponmethesealofitsapproval：Iwasnotblownup。Hadmyconductbeenopentocensure——asincertainquartershasbeensuggested——shouldIbewalkingbesidesyounow，undamaged——notahairturned，asthesayingis？No。DiscriminatingFate——thatis，ifanyrelianceatallistobeplacedonliteraturefortheyoung——wouldhavemadeitherbusinessthatatleastIwasincludedinthedebris。

Instead，whatdowenotice！——ashatteredchimney，aruinedstove，brokenwindows，awreckageofhouseholdutensils；I，aloneofallthings，miraculouslypreserved。Idonotwishtopressthepointoffensively，butreallyitwouldalmostseemthatitmustbeyouthree——you，mydearparent，uponwhomwillfallthebillforrepairs；

Dick，apttoattachtoomuchimportance，maybe，tohisvictuals，andwhoforthenextfewdayswillbecompelledtoexistchieflyupontinnedgoods；Robina，bynatureofaworryingdisposition，certaintillthingsgetstraightagaintobenextdoortooffherhead——whomust，byreasonofconductintowhichIdonotenquire，havemeritedchastisementatthehandsofProvidence。Themorallessonwouldcertainlyappeartobebetweenyouthree。I——itgrowscleartome——

havebeenthroughoutbuttheinnocentinstrument。"

Admitthepremisethattobevirtuousistoescapewhipping，theargumentislogical。Ifeltthatleftuncombateditmightleadusintoyetfurthertrouble。

"Veronica，"Isaid，"thetimehascometorevealtoyouasecret：

literatureisnotalwaysasafeguidetolife。"

"Youmean——"saidVeronica。

"Imean，"Isaid，"thatthewriterofbooksis，generallyspeaking，anexceptionallymoralman。Thatiswhatleadshimastray：heistoogood。Thisworlddoesnotcomeuptohisideas。Itisnottheworldashewouldhavemadeithimself。Tosatisfyhiscravingformoralityhesetstoworktomakeaworldofhisown。Itisnotthisworld。Itisnotabitlikethisworld。Inaworldasitshouldbe，Veronica，youwouldundoubtedlyhavebeenblownup——ifnotaltogether，atalleventspartially。Whatyouhavetodo，Veronica，is，withafullheart，topraiseHeaventhatthisisnotaperfectworld。IfitwereIdoubtverymuch，Veronica，yourbeinghere。

Thatyouareherehappyandthrivingprovesthatallisnotasitshouldbe。Thebullofthisworld，feelinghewantstotosssomebody，doesnotsituponhimself，sotospeak，tillthewickedchildcomesby。Hetakesthefirstchildthatturnsup，andthanksGodforit。Ahundredtooneitisthebestchildformilesaround。

Thebulldoesnotcare。Hespoilsthatpatternchild。He’dspoilabishop，feelingashedoesthatmorning。Yourlittlefriendinthevelvetsuitwhodidgethimselfblownup，atalleventsasregardsthesuit——Whichofyouwasitthatthoughtofthatgunpowder，youorhe？"

Veronicaclaimedthattheinspirationhadbeenhers。

"Icaneasilybelieveit。Andwasheanxioustostealthegunpowderandputitonthefire，ordidhehavetobepersuaded？"

Veronicaadmittedthatinthequalitiesofafirst—classherohewaswanting。Nottillithadbeensuggestedtohimthathemustatheartbeacowardycowardycustardhadhebeenmovedtotakeahandintheenterprise。

"Alad，clearly，"Icontinued，"thatlefttohimselfwouldbeacomforttohisfriends。Andthestoryoftherobbers——yourinventionorhis？"

Veronicawasgenerouslyofopinionthathemighthavethoughtofithadhenotbeenchieflyconcernedatthemomentwiththeideaofgettinghometohismother。Asitwas，theclothingwithromanceofincidentsotherwisebaldanduninterestinghadfallenuponher。

"Thegoodchildofthestory。Thefactstandsoutateverypoint。

Hisonefailinganamiableweakness。Doyounotseeitforyourself；

Veronica？Inthebook，you，nothe，wouldhavetumbledoverthemat。

Inthiswickedworlditisthewickedwhoprosper。He，theinnocent，thevirtuous，istornintorags。You，thevillainofthestory，escape。"

"Isee，"saidVeronica；"thenwhenevernothinghappenstoyouthatmeansthatyou’reawrong’un。"

"Idon’tgosofarastosaythat，Veronica。AndIwishyouwouldn’tuseslang。Dickisaman，andaman——well，nevermindaboutaman。

You，Veronica，mustneverforgetthatyou’realady。Justicemustnotbelookedforinthisworld。Sometimesthewickedgetwhattheydeserve。Moreoftentheydon’t。Thereseemstobenorule。Followthedictatesofyourconscience，Veronica，andblow——Imeanbeindifferenttotheconsequences。Sometimesyou’llcomeoutallright，andsometimesyouwon’t。Butthebeautifulsensationwillalwaysbewithyou：Ididright。Thingshaveturnedoutunfortunately：butthat’snotmyfault。Nobodycanblameme。"

"Buttheydo，"saidVeronica，"theyblameyoujustasifyou’dmeanttogoanddoit。"

"Itdoesnotmatter，Veronica，"Ipointedout，"theopinionoftheworld。Thegoodmandisregardsit。"

"Buttheysendyoutobed，"persistedVeronica。

"Letthem，"Isaid。"WhatisbedsolongasthevoiceoftheinwardMonitorconsolesuswiththereflection——"

"Butitdon’t，"interruptedVeronica；"itmakesyoufeelallthemadder。Itdoesreally。"

"Itoughtn’tto，"Itoldher。

"Thenwhydoesit？"arguedVeronica。"Whydon’titdowhatitoughtto？"

Thetroubleaboutarguingwithchildrenisthattheywillarguetoo。

"Life’sadifficultproblem，Veronica，"Iallowed。"Thingsarenotastheyoughttobe，Iadmitit。Butonemustnotdespair。

Something’sgottobedone。"

"It’sjollyhardonsomeofus，"saidVeronica。"Striveasyoumay，youcan’tpleaseeveryone。Andifyoujustasmuchasstandupforyourself，oh，crikey！"

"Thedutyofthegrown—upperson，Veronica，"Isaid，"istobringupthechildinthewaythatitshouldgo。Itisn’teasywork，andoccasionallyirritabilitymaycreepin。"

"There’ssuchalotof’ematit，"grumbledVeronica。"Therearetimes，between’emall，whenyoudon’tknowwhetheryou’restandingonyourheadoryourheels。"

"Theymeanwell，Veronica，"Isaid。"WhenIwasalittleboyIusedtothinkjustasyoudo。Butnow——"

"Didyouevergetintorows？"interruptedVeronica。

"DidIever？——wasneveroutofthem，sofarasIcanrecollect。Ifitwasn’tonething，thenitwasanother。"

"Anddidn’titmakeyouwild？"enquiredVeronica，"whenfirstofallthey’daskwhatyou’dgottosayandwhyyou’ddoneit，andthen，whenyoutriedtoexplainthingstothem，wouldn’tlistentoyou？"

"Whatusedtoirritatememost，Veronica，"Ireplied——"Icanrememberitsowell——waswhentheytalkedsteadilyforhalfanhourthemselves，andthen，whenIwouldattemptwithonesentencetoputthemrightaboutthething，turnroundandbully—ragmeforbeingargumentative。"

"Iftheywouldonlylisten，"agreedVeronica，"youmightgetthemtograspthings。Butno，theytalkandtalk，tillattheendtheydon’tknowwhattheyaretalkingaboutthemselves，andthentheypretendit’syourfaultforhavingmadethemtired。"

"Iknow，"Isaid，"theyalwaysenduplikethat。’Iamtiredoftalkingtoyou，’theysay——asifwewerenottiredoflisteningtothem！"

"Andthenwhenyouthink，"saidVeronica，"theysayyououghtn’ttothink。Andifyoudon’tthink，andletitoutbyaccident，thentheysay’whydon’tyouthink？’Itdon’tseemasthoughwecoulddoright。Itmakesonealmostdespair。"

"Anditisn’tevenasiftheywerealwaysrightthemselves，"I

pointedouttoher。"Whentheyknockoveraglassitis，’Whoputthatglassthere？’You’dthinkthatsomebodyhadputitthereonpurposeandmadeitinvisible。Theyarenotexpectedtoseeaglasssixinchesinfrontoftheirnose，intheplacewheretheglassoughttobe。Thewaytheytalkyou’dsupposethataglasshadnobusinessonatable。IfIbrokeit，thenitwasalways，’Clumsylittledevil！

oughttohavehisdinnerinthenursery。’Iftheymislaytheirthingsandcan’tfindthem，it’s，’Who’sbeeninterferingwithmythings？Who’sbeeninhererummagingabout？’Thenwhentheyfindittheywanttoknowindignantlywhoputitthere。IfIcouldnotfindathing，forthesimplereasonthatsomebodyhadtakenitawayandputitsomewhereelse，thenwherevertheyhadputitwastherightplaceforit，andIwasalittleidiotfornotknowingit。"

"Andofcourseyoumustn’tsayanything，"commentedVeronica。"Oh，no！Iftheydosomethingsillyandyoujustpointitouttothem，thenthereisalwaysareasonforitthatyouwouldn’tunderstand。

Oh，yes！Andifyoumakejusttheslightestmistake，likewhatisnaturaltoallofus，thatisbecauseyouarewickedandunfeelinganddon’twanttobeanythingelse。"

"Iwilltellyouwhatwewilldo，Veronica，"Isaid；"wewillwriteabook。Youshallhelpme。Andinitthechildrenshallbethewiseandgoodpeoplewhonevermakemistakes，andtheyshallbosstheshow——youknowwhatImean——lookafterthegrown—uppeopleandbringthemupproperly。Andeverythingthegrown—uppeopledo，ordon’tdo，willbewrong。"

Veronicaclappedherhands。"No，willyoureally？"shesaid。"Oh，do。"

"Iwillreally，"Ianswered。"Wewillcallitamoraltaleforparents；andallthechildrenwillbuyitandgiveittotheirfathersandmothersandsuch—likefolkfortheirbirthdays，withwritingonthetitle—page，’FromJohnny，orJenny，todearPapa，ortodearAunty，witheverygoodwishforhisorherimprovement！’"

"Doyouthinktheywillreadit？"doubtedVeronica。

"Wewillputinitsomethingshocking，"Isuggested，"andgetsomepapertodenounceitasadisgracetoEnglishliterature。Andifthatwon’tdoitwewillsayitisatranslationfromtheRussian。

Thechildrenshallstopathomeandarrangewhattohavefordinner，andthegrown—uppeopleshallbesenttoschool。Wewillstartthemoffeachmorningwithalittlesatchel。Theyshallbemadetoread’Grimm’sFairyTales’intheoriginalGerman，withnotes；andlearn’OldMotherHubbard’byheartandexplainthegrammar。"

"Andgotobedearly，"suggestedVeronica。

"Wewillhavethemallinbedbyeighto’clock，Veronica，andtheywillgocheerfully，asiftheylikedit，orwewillknowthereasonwhy。Wewillmakethemsaytheirprayers。Betweenourselves，Veronica，Idon’tbelievetheyalwaysdo。Andnoreadinginbed，andnofinalglassofwhiskytoddy，oranynonsenseofthatsort。AnAbernethybiscuitandperhapsiftheyaregoodajujube，andthen’Goodnight，’anddownwiththeirheadonthepillow。Andnocallingout，andnopretendingtheyhavegotapainintheirtummyandcreepingdownstairsintheirnight—shirtsandclamouringforbrandy。

Wewillbeuptoalltheirtricks。"

"Andthey’llhavetotaketheirmedicine，"Veronicaremembered。

"Theslightestsuggestionofsulkiness，thefirstintimationthattheyarenotenjoyingthemselves，willmeancodliveroilinatablespoon，Veronica。"

"Andwewillaskthemwhytheyneverusetheircommonsense，"chirpedVeronica。

"Thatwillbeourtrouble，Veronica；thattheywon’thaveanysenseofanysort——notwhatweshalldeemsense。But，nevertheless，wewillbejust。Wewillalwaysgivethemareasonwhytheyhavegottodoeverythingtheydon’twanttodo，andnothingthattheywanttodo。Theywon’tunderstanditandtheywon’tagreethatitisareason；buttheywillkeepthattothemselves，iftheyarewise。"

"Andofcoursetheymustnotargue，"Veronicainsisted。

"Iftheyanswerback，Veronica，thatwillshowtheyarecursedwithanargumentativetemperamentwhichmustberootedoutatanycost，"I

agreed；"andiftheydon’tsayanything，thatwillprovethempossessedofasurlydispositionwhichmustbecheckedatonce，beforeitdevelopsintoavice。"

"Andwhateverwedotothemwewilltellthemit’sfortheirowngood，"Veronicachortled。

"Ofcourseitwillbefortheirowngood，"Ianswered。"Thatwillbeourchiefpleasure——makingthemgoodandhappy。Itwon’tbetheirpleasure，butthatwillbeowingtotheirignorance。"

"Theywillbegratefultouslateron，"gurgledVeronica。

"Withthatassurancewewillcomfortthemfromtimetotime，"I

answered。"Wewillbegoodtotheminallways。Wewillletthemplaygames——notstupidgames，golfandcroquet，thatdoyounogoodandleadonlytolanguageanddispute——butbearsandwolvesandwhales；educationalsortofgamesthatwillaidtheminacquiringknowledgeofnaturalhistory。WewillshowthemhowtoplayPiratesandRedIndiansandOgres——sensibleplaythatwillhelpthemtodeveloptheirimaginativefaculties。Thatiswhygrown—uppeoplearesodull；theyarenevermadetothink。Butnowandthen，"I

continued，"wewillletthemplaytheirowngames，sayonWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons。Wewillinviteothergrown—upstocometoteawiththem，andletthemflirtinthegarden，orifwetmakeloveinthedining—room，tillnursecomesforthem。Butwe，ofcourse，mustchoosetheirfriendsforthem——nice，well—behavedladiesandgentlemen，theparentsofrespectablechildren；becauselefttothemselves——well，youknowwhattheyare！Theywouldjustaslikelyfallinlovewithquiteundesirablepeople——menandwomenwecouldnotthinkofhavingaboutthehouse。Wewillselectforthemcompanionswefeelsurewillbethemostsuitableforthem；andiftheydon’tlikethem——ifUncleWilliamsayshecan’tbearthegirlwehaveinviteduptolovehim——thathepositivelyhatesher，wetilltellhimthatitisonlyhiswilfultemper，andthathe’sgottolikeherbecauseshe’sgoodforhim；anddon’tletushaveanyofhisfretfulness。AndifGrandmammapoutsandsaysshewon’tloveoldmanJonesmerelybecausehe’sgotarednose，oraglasseye，orsomesillyreasonofthatsort，wewillsaytoher：’Allright，mylady，youwillplaywithMr。Jonesandbenicetohim，oryouwillspendtheafternoonputtingyourroomtidy；makeupyourmind。’Wewillletthemmarry（onWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons），andplayatkeepinghouse。Andiftheyquarrelwewillshakethemandtakethebabiesawayfromthem，andlockthemupindrawers，andtellthemtheysha’n’thavethemagaintilltheyaregood。"

"Andthemoretheytrytobegood，themoreitwillturnoutthattheyain’tbeengood，"Veronicareflected。

"Theirgoodnessandtheirbadnesswilldependuponusinmoresensesthanone，Veronica，"Iexplained。"WhenConsolsaredown，whentheeastwindhastouchedupourliver，theywillbesurprisedhowbadtheyare。"

"Andtheymustn’teverforgetwhatthey’veeverbeenoncetold，"

crowedVeronica。"Wemustn’thavetotell’emthesamethingoverandoveragain，likewewastalkingtobrickwalls。"

"Andifwemeanttotellthemandforgottotellthem，"Iadded，"wewilltellthemthattheyoughtnottowantustotellthemasimplethinglikethat，asiftheyweremerebabies。Wemustrememberallthesepoints。"

"Andiftheygrumblewe’lltellthemthat’s’costheydon’tknowhowhappytheyare。Andwe’lltellthemhowgoodweusedtobewhen——I

say，don’tyoumissyourtrain，orIshallgetintoarow。"

"GreatScott！I’dforgottenallaboutthattrain，Veronica，"I

admitted。

"Betterrun，"suggestedVeronica。

Itsoundedgoodadvice。

"Keeponthinkingaboutthatbook，"shoutedVeronica。

"Makeanoteofthingsastheyoccurtoyou，"Ishoutedback。

"Whatshallwecallit？"Veronicascreamed。

"’WhytheManintheMoonlookssatupon，’"Ishrieked。

WhenIturnedagainshewassittingonthetoprailofthestileconductinganimaginaryorchestrawithoneofherownshoes。Thesix—fifteenwasfortunatelytwentyminuteslate。

IthoughtitbesttotellEthelberthathetruth；thatthingshadgonewrongwiththekitchenstove。

"Letmeknowtheworst，"shesaid。"IsVeronicahurt？"

"Theworst，"Isaid，"isthatIshallhavetopayforanewrange。

Why，whenanythinggoesamiss，poorVeronicashouldbeassumedasamatterofcoursetobeinit，appearstomeunjust。"

"Youaresureshe’sallright？"persistedEthelbertha。

"HonestInjun——confoundthosechildrenandtheirslang——Imeanpositively，"Ianswered。TheLittleMotherlookedrelieved。

Itoldherallthetroublewehadhadinconnectionwiththecow。