第7章

Hoopdriver，revertingtoanger，ifwithaslightcatchinhisthroat——thanwhichthreatofpersonalviolencenothinghadbeenfurtherfromhisthoughtsonenteringtheroom。Hesaidthisbecausehecouldthinkofnothingelsetosay，andstuckouthiselbowstruculentlytohidethesinkingofhisheart。Itiscurioushowsituationsrunawaywithus。

"’Ullo，Charlie！"saidthelittleman，and"Myeye！"saidtheownerofthechins。’You’regoingtowipeyourbootson’im？"

saidthefairyoungman，inatoneofmildsurprise。

"Iam，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，withemphaticresolution，andglaredintheyoungman’sface。

"That’sfairandreasonable，"saidthemaninthevelveteenjacket;"ifyoucan。"

Theinterestofthemeetingseemedtransferredtotheyoungmaninthewhitetic。"Ofcourse，ifyoucan’tfindoutwhichitis，Isupposeyou’repreparedtowipeyourbootsinaliberalwayoneverybodyintheroom，"saidthisyoungman，inthesametoneofimpersonalquestion。"Thisgentleman，thechampionlightweight——"

"Ownup，Charlie，"saidtheyoungmanwiththegaiters，lookingupforamoment。"Anddon’tgoa—dragginginyourbetters。It’sfairandsquare。Youcan’tgetoutofit。"

"Wasitthis——gent？"beganMr。Hoopdriver。

"Ofcourse，"saidtheyoungmaninthewhitetie，"whenitcomestotalkingofwipingboots——"

"I’mnottalking;I’mgoingtodoit，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。

Helookedroundatthemeeting。Theywerenolongerantagonists;

theywerespectators。Hewouldhavetogothroughwithitnow。

ButthistoneofpersonalaggressiononthemakeroftheremarkhadsomehowgotridoftheoppressivefeelingofHoopdrivercontramundum。Apparently，hewouldhavetofightsomeone。Wouldhegetablackeye？Wouldhegetverymuchhurt？Praygoodnessitwasn’tthatsturdychapinthegaiters！Shouldheriseandbegin？

Whatwouldshethinkifhebroughtablackeyetobreakfastto—morrow？"Isthistheman？"saidMr。Hoopdriver，withabusiness—likecalm，andarmsmoreangularthanever。

"Eat’im！"saidthelittlemanwiththebeard;"eat’imstraightorf。"

"Steadyon！"saidtheyoungmaninthewhitetie。"Steadyonaminute。IfIdidhappentosay——"

"Youdid，didyou？"saidMr。Hoopdriver。

Backingoutofit，Charlie？"saidtheyoungmanwiththegaiters。

"Notabit，"saidCharlie。"Surelywecanpassabitofajoke——"

"I’mgoingtoteachyoutokeepyourjokestoyourself，"saidMr。

Hoopdriver。

"Bray—vo！"saidtheshepherdoftheflockofchins。

"CharlieISabittoofreewithhisjokes，"saidthelittlemanwiththebeard。

"It’sdownrightdisgusting，"saidHoopdriver，fallingbackuponhisspeech。"Aladycan’trideabicycleinacountryroad，orwearadressalittleoutoftheordinary，buteverydirtylittlegreasermustneedsgoshoutinginsults——"

"_I_didn’tknowtheyoungladywouldhearwhatIsaid，"saidCharlie。"Surelyonecanspeakfriendlytoone’sfriends。HowwasItoknowthedoorwasopen——"

Hoopdriverbegantosuspectthathisantagonistwas，ifpossible，moreseriouslyalarmedattheprospectofviolencethanhimself，andhisspiritsroseagain。Thesechapsoughttohaveathoroughlesson。"OfCOURSEyouknewthedoorwasopen，"heretortedindignantly。"OfCOURSEyouthoughtweshouldhearwhatyousaid。

Don’tgotellingliesaboutit。It’snogoodyoursayingthingslikethat。You’vehadyourfun，andyoumeanttohaveyourfun。

AndImeantomakeanexampleofyou，Sir。"

"Gingerbeer，"saidthelittlemanwiththebeard，inaconfidentialtonetothevelveteenjacket，"isregularupthis’otweather。Bustin’itsbottlesitiseverywhere。"

"What’sthegoodofscrappingaboutinapublichouse？"saidCharlie，appealingtothecompany。"Afairfightwithoutinterruptions，now，IWOULDN’Tmind，ifthegentleman’ssodisposed。"

Evidentlythemanwashorriblyafraid。Mr。Hoopdrivergrewtruculent。

"Whereyoulike，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"jestwhereveryoulike。"

"Youinsultedthegent，"saidthemaninvelveteen。

"Don’tbeabloomin’funk，Charlie，"saidthemaningaiters。

"Why，yougotastoneofhim，ifyougotanounce。"

"WhatIsay，isthis，"saidthegentlemanwiththeexcessivechins，tryingtogetahearingbybanginghischairarms。"IfCharliegoessayingthings，heoughttoback’emup。That’swhatIsay。Idon’tmindhissayin’suchthings’tall，butheoughttobepreparedtoback’emup。"

"I’llBACK’emupallright，"saidCharlie，withextremelybitteremphasison’back。’"IfthegentlemanlikestocomeToosdayweek——"

"Rot！"choppedinHoopdriver。"Now。"

"’Ear，’ear，"saidtheownerofthechins。

"Neverputofftillto—morrow，Charlie，whatyoucandoto—day，"

saidthemaninthevelveteencoat。

"Yougottodoit，Charlie，"saidthemaningaiters。"It’snogood。"

"It’slikethis，"saidCharlie，appealingtoeveryoneexceptHoopdriver。"Here’sme，gottotakeinherladyship’sdinnerto—morrownight。HowshouldIlookwithablackeye？Andgoingroundwiththecarriagewithasplitlip？"

"Ifyoudon’twantyourfacesp’iled，Charlie，whydon’tyoukeepyourmouthshut？"saidthepersoningaiters。

"Exactly，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，drivingithomewithgreatfierceness。"Whydon’tyoushutyouruglymouth？"

"It’sasmuchasmysituation’sworth，"protestedCharlie。

"Youshouldhavethoughtofthatbefore，"saidHoopdriver。

"There’snooccasiontobesothunderin’’otaboutit。Ionlymeantthethingjoking，"saidCharlie。"ASonegentlemantoanother，I’mverysorryifthegentleman’sannoyed——"

Everybodybegantospeakatonce。Mr。Hoopdrivertwirledhismoustache。HefeltthatCharlie’srecognitionofhisgentlemanlinesswasatanyratearedeemingfeature。Butitbecamehisposetoridehardandheavyovertheroutedfoc。Heshoutedsomeinsultingphraseoverthetumult。

"You’reregularabject，"themaningaiterswassayingtoCharlie。

Moreconfusion。

"Onlydon’tthinkI’mafraid，——notofaspindle—leggedcusslikehimshoutedCharlie。"BecauseIain’t。"

"Changeoffront，"thoughtHoopdriver，alittlestartled。"Wherearewegoing？"

"Don’tsitthereandbeabusive，"saidthemaninvelveteen。

"He’sofferedtohityou，andifIwashim，I’dhityounow。"

"Allright，then，"saidCharlie，withasuddenchangeoffrontandspringingtohisfeet。"IfImust，Imust。Now，then！"Atthat，Hoopdriver，thechildofFate，rosetoo，withahorriblesensethathisinternalmonitorwasright。Thingshadtakenaturn。Hehadmadeamessofit，andnowtherewasnothingforit，sofarashecouldsee，buttohitthemanatonce。HeandCharliestoodsixfeetapart，withatablebetween，bothverybreathlessandfierce。Avulgarfightinapublic—house，andwithwhatwasonlytoopalpablyafootman！GoodHeavens！Andthiswasthedignified，scornfulremonstrance！Howthejuicehaditallhappened？Goroundthetableathim，Isuppose。Butbeforethebrawlcouldachieveitself，themaningaitersintervened。"Nothere，"hesaid，steppingbetweentheantagonists。Everyonewasstandingup。

"Charlie’sartful，"saidthelittlemanwiththebeard。

"Buller’syard，"saidthemanwiththegaiters，takingthecontroloftheentireaffairwiththeeasyreadinessofanaccomplishedpractitioner。"IfthegentlemanDON’Tmind。"

Buller’syard，itseemed，wastheveryplace。"We’lldothethingregularanddecent，ifyouplease。"Andbeforehecompletelyrealizedwhatwashappening，Hoopdriverwasbeingmarchedoutthroughthebackpremisesoftheinn，tothefirstandonlyfightwithfiststhatwasevertoglorifyhislife。

Outwardly，sofarastheintermittentmoonlightshowed，Mr。

Hoopdriverwasquietlybuteagerlypreparedtofight。Butinwardlyhewasachaosofconflictingpurposes。Itwasextraordinaryhowthingshappened。Oneremarkhadtrodsocloselyontheheelsofanother，thathehadhadthegreatestdifficultyinfollowingthedevelopmentofthebusiness。Hedistinctlyrememberedhimselfwalkingacrossfromoneroomtotheother，——adignified，evenanaristocraticfigure，primedwithconsideredeloquence，intentuponascathingremonstrancetothesewretchedyokels，regardingtheirmanners。Thenincidenthadflickeredintoincidentuntilherehewasoutinamoonlitlane，——aslight，darkfigureinagroupoflarger，indistinctfigures，——marchinginaquiet，business—likewaytowardssomeunknownhorroratBuller’syard。Fists！Itwasastonishing。Itwasterrible！InfrontofhimwasthepallidfigureofCharles，andhesawthatthemaningaitersheldCharleskindlybutfirmlybythearm。

"It’sblastedrot，"Charleswassaying，"gettingupafightjustforathinglikethat;allverywellfor’im。’E’sgot’is’olidays;’e’asn’tnoblesseddinnertotakeupto—morrownightlikeI’ave。——Noneedtonumbmyarm，ISthere？"

TheywentintoBuller’syardthroughgates。TherewereshedsinBuller’syard——shedsofmysterythatthemoonlightcouldnotsolve——asmellofcows，andapumpstoodoutclearandblack，throwingaclearblackshadowonthewhitewashedwall。Andhereitwashisfacewastobebatteredtoapulp。Heknewthiswastheuttermostfolly，tostanduphereandbepounded，butthewayoutofitwasbeyondhisimagining。Yetafterwards——？Couldheeverfaceheragain？HepattedhisNorfolkjacketandtookhisgroundwithhisbacktothegate。Howdidonesquare？So？Supposeoneweretoturnandrunevennow，runstraightbacktotheinnandlockhimselfintohisbedroom？Theycouldn’tmake，himcomeout——anyhow。Hecouldprosecutethemforassaultiftheydid。Howdidonesetaboutprosecutingforassault？HesawCharles，withhisfaceghastlywhiteunderthemoon，squaringinfrontofhim。

Hecaughtablowonthearmandgaveground。Charlespressedhim。

Thenhehitwithhisrightandwiththeviolenceofdespair。Itwasahitofhisowndevising，——animpromptu，——butitchancedtocoincidewiththeregulationhookhitatthehead。HeperceivedwithaleapofexultationthatthethinghisfisthadmetwasthejawboneofCharles。Itwasthesolegleamofpleasureheexperiencedduringthefight，anditwasquitemomentary。HehadhardlygothomeuponCharlesbeforehewasstruckinthechestandwhirledbackward。Hehadthegreatestdifficultyinkeepinghisfeet。Hefeltthathisheartwassmashedflat。"Gorddarm！"

saidsomebody，dancingtoeinhandsomewherebehindhim。AsMr。

Hoopdriverstaggered，Charlesgavealoudandfear—compellingcry。HeseemedtotoweroverHoopdriverinthemoonlight。Bothhisfistswerewhirling。Itwasannihilationcoming——noless。Mr。

Hoopdriverduckedperhapsandcertainlygavegroundtotheright，hit，andmissed。Charlessweptroundtotheleft，missinggenerously。AblowglancedoverMr。Hoopdriver’sleftear，andtheflankingmovementwascompleted。Anotherblowbehindtheear。

HeavenandearthspunfuriouslyroundMr。Hoopdriver，andthenhebecameawareofafigureinalightsuitshootingviolentlythroughanopengateintothenight。ThemaningaiterssprangforwardpastMr。Hoopdriver，buttoolatetointerceptthefugitive。Therewereshouts，laughter，andMr。Hoopdriver，stillsolemnlysquaring，realizedthegreatandwonderfultruth——Charleshadfled。He，Hoopdriver，hadfoughtand，byalltherulesofwar，hadwon。

"Thatwasaprettycutunderthejawyougavehim，"thetoothlesslittlemanwiththebeardwasremarkinginanunexpectedlyfriendlymanner。

"Thefactofitis，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，sittingbesidetheroadtoSalisbury，andwiththesoundofdistantchurchbellsinhiscars，"Ihadtogivethefellowalesson;simplyhadto。"

"Itseemssodreadfulthatyoushouldhavetoknockpeopleabout，"saidJessie。

"Theseloutsgetunbearable，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"Ifnowandthenwedidn’tgivethemalesson，——well，aladycyclistintheroadswouldbeanimpossibility。"

"Isupposeeverywomanshrinksfromviolence，"saidJessie。"I

supposemenAREbraver——inaway——thanwomen。Itseemstome—I

can’timagine—howonecouldbringoneselftofacearoomfulofroughcharacters，pickoutthebravest，and。givehimanexemplarythrashing。Iquailattheidea。IthoughtonlyOuida’sguardsmendidthingslikethat。"

"Itwasnothingmorethanmyjuty——asagentleman，"saidMr。

Hoopdriver。

"Buttowalkstraightintothefaceofdanger！"

"It’shabit，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，quitemodestly，flickingoffaparticleofcigaretteashthathadsettledonhisknee。

THEABASEMENTOFMR。HOOPDRIVER

XXXIII

OnMondaymorningthetwofugitivesfoundthemselvesbreakfastingattheGoldenPheasantinBlandford。TheywereinthecourseofanelaboratedoublingmovementthroughDorsetshiretowardsRingwood，whereJessieanticipatedananswerfromherschoolmistressfriend。Bythistimetheyhadbeennearlysixtyhourstogether，andyouwillunderstandthatMr。Hoopdriver’sfeelingshadundergoneaconsiderableintensificationanddevelopment。AtfirstJessiehadbeenonlyanimpressionistsketchuponhismind，somethingfeminine，active，anddazzling，somethingemphatically"above"him，castintohiscompanybyakindlyfate。Hischiefidea，attheoutset，asyouknow，hadbeentoliveuptoherlevel，bypretendingtobemoreexceptional，morewealthy，bettereducated，and，aboveall，betterbornthanhewas。Hisknowledgeofthefemininemindwasalmostentirelyderivedfromtheyoungladieshehadmetinbusiness，andinthatclass（asinmilitarysocietyandamonggentlemen’sservants）thegoodoldtraditionofabrutalsocialexclusivenessisstillreligiouslypreserved。HehadanalmostintolerabledreadofherthinkinghimaIbounder。’Laterhebegantoperceivethedistinctionofheridiosyncracies。Coupledwithamagnificentwantofexperiencewasasplendidenthusiasmforabstractviewsofthemostadvanceddescription，andherstrengthofconvictioncompletelycarriedHoopdriveraway。ShewasgoingtoLiveherOwnLife，withemphasis，andMr。Hoopdriverwasprofoundlystirredtosimilarresolves。Sosoonashegraspedthetenorofherviews，heperceivedthathehimselfhadthoughtasmuchfromhisearliestyears。"Ofcourse，"heremarked，inaflashofsexualpride，"amanisfreerthanawoman。EndintheColonies，y’know，thereisn’thalftheConventionalityyoufindinsocietyinthiscountry。"

Hemadeoneortwoessaysinthedisplayofunconventionality，andwasquiteunawarethatheimpressedherasanarrow—mindedperson。Hesuppressedthehabitsofyearsandmadenoproposaltogotochurch。Hediscussedchurch—goinginaliberalspirit。

"It’sjestahabit，"hesaid，"jestacustom。Idon’tseewhatgooditdoesyouatall，really。"Andhemadealotofexcellentjokesatthechimney—pothat，jokeshehadreadintheGlobe’turnovers’onthatsubject。ButheshowedhisgentlebreedingbykeepinghisglovesonallthroughtheSunday’sride，andostentatiouslythrowingawaymorethanhalfacigarettewhentheypassedachurchwhosecongregationwasgatheringforafternoonservice。Hecautiouslyavoidedliterarytopics，exceptbywayofcompliment，seeingthatshewaspresentlytobewritingbooks。

ItwasonJessie’sinitiativethattheyattendedserviceintheold—fashionedgalleryofBlandfordchurch。Jessie’sconscience，I

mayperhapstellyou，wasnowsufferingtheseveresttwinges。Sheperceivedclearlythatthingswerenotworkingoutquitealongthelinesshehaddesigned—。ShehadreadherOliveSchreinerandGeorgeEgerton，andsoforth，withallthewantofperfectcomprehensionofonewhoisstillemotionallyagirl。SheknewthethingtodowastohaveaflatandtogototheBritishMuseumandwriteleadingarticlesforthedailyp，tpersuntilsomethingbettercamealong。IfBechamel（detestableperson）hadkepthispromises，insteadofbehavingwithunspeakablehorridness，allwouldhavebeenwell。Nowheronlyhopewasthatliberal—mindedwoman，MissMergle，who，ayearago，hadsentherout，highlyeducated，intotheworld。MissMerglehadtoldheratpartingtolivefearlesslyandtruly，andhadfurthergivenheravolumeofEmerson’sEssaysandMotley’s"DutchRepublic，"tohelpherthroughtherapidsofadolescence。

Jessie’sfeelingsforherstepmother’shouseholdatSurbitonamountedtoanactivedetestation。Therearenograverormoresolemnwomenintheworldthantheseclevergirlswhosescholasticadvancementhasretardedtheirfemininecoquetry。Inspiteoftheadvancedtoneof’ThomasPlantagenet’s’antimaritalnovel，Jessiehadspeedilyseenthroughthatamiablewoman’samiabledefences。Thevarietyofposenecessitatedbythecorpsof’Men’annoyedhertoanaltogetherunreasonabledegree。Toreturntothislifeofridiculousunreality——unconditionalcapitulationto’Conventionality’wasanexasperatingprospect。

Yetwhatelsewastheretodo？Youwillunderstand，therefore，thatattimesshewasmoody（andMr。Hoopdriverrespectfullysilentandattentive）andattimesinclinedtoeloquentdenunciationoftheexistingorderofthings。ShewasaSocialist，Hoopdriverlearnt，andhegaveavagueintimationthathewentfurther，intending，thereby，nolessthanthehorrorsofanarchism。HewouldhaveowneduptothedestructionoftheWinterPalaceindeed，hadhehadthefaintestideawheretheWinterPalacewas，andhadhisassuranceamountedtocertaintythattheWinterPalacewasdestroyed。Heagreedwithhercordiallythatthepositionofwomenwasintolerable，butcheckedhimselfonthe’vergeofthepropositionthatagirloughtnottoexpectafellowtohanddownboxesforherwhenhewasgettingthe’swap’fromacustomer。ItwasJessie’spreoccupationwithherownperplexities，nodoubt，thatdelayedtheunveilingofMr。

HoopdriverallthroughSaturdayandSunday。Onceortwice，however，therewereincidentsthatputhimaboutterribly——evenquestionsthatsavouredofsuspicion。

OnSundaynight，fornoconceivablereason，anunwontedwakefulnesscameuponhim。Unaccountablyherealisedhewasacontemptibleliar，AllthroughthesmallhoursofMondayhereviewedthetaleofhisfalsehoods，andwhenhetriedtoturnhismindfromthat，thefinancialproblemsuddenlyroseuponhim。

Heheardtwoo’clockstrike，andthree。Itisoddhowunhappysomeofusareattimes，whenweareatourhappiest。

XXXIV

"Goodmorning，Madam，"saidHoopdriver，asJessiecameintothebreakfastroomoftheGoldenPheasantonMondaymorning，andhesmiled，bowed，rubbedhishandstogether，andpulledoutachairforher，andrubbedhishandsagain。

Shestoppedabruptly，withapuzzledexpressiononherface。

"WhereHAVEIseenthatbefore？"shesaid。

"Thechair？"saidHoopdriver，flushing。

"No——theattitude。"

Shecameforwardandshookhandswithhim，lookingthewhilecuriouslyintohisface。"And——Madam？"

"It’sahabit，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，guiltily。"Abadhabit。

CallingladiesMadam。Youmustputitdowntoourcolonialroughness。Outthereupcountry——y’know——theladies——sorare——wecall’emallMadam。"

"YouHAVEsomefunnyhabits，brotherChris，"saidJessie。"Beforeyousellyourdiamondsharesandgointosociety，asyousay，andstandforParliament——Whatafinethingitistobeaman！——youmustcureyourself。Thathabitofbowingasyoudo，andrubbingyourhands，andlookingexpectant。"

"It’sahabit。"

"Iknow。ButIdon’tthinkitagoodone。Youdon’tmindmytellingyou？"

"Notabit。I’mgrateful。"

"I’mblessedorafflictedwithatrickofobservation，"saidJessie，lookingatthebreakfasttable。Mr。Hoopdriverputhishandtohismoustacheandthen，thinkingthismightbeanotherhabit，checkedhisarmandstuckhishandintohispocket。Hefeltjuicedawkward，tousehisprivateformula。Jessie’seyewanderedtothearmchair，whereapieceofbindingwasloose，and，possiblytocarryouthertheoryofanobservantdisposition，sheturnedandaskedhimforapin。

Mr。Hoopdriver’shandflutteredinstinctivelytohislappel，andthere，plantedbyhabit，wereacoupleofstraypinshehadimpounded。

"Whatanoddplacetoputpins！"exclaimedJessie，takingit。

"It’s’andy，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"Isawachapinashopdoitonce。"

"Youmusthaveacarefuldisposition，"shesaid，overhershoulder，kneelingdowntothechair。

"InthecentreofAfrica——upcountry，thatis——onelearnstovaluepins，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，afteraperceptiblepause。

"Thereweren’tovermanypinsinAfrica。Theydon’tlieaboutonthegroundthere。"Hisfacewasnowinafine，redglow。Wherewouldthedraperbreakoutnext？Hethrusthishandsintohiscoatpockets，thentookoneoutagain，furtivelyremovedthesecondpinanddroppeditbehindhimgently。Itfellwithaloud’ping’onthefender。Happilyshemadenoremark，beingpreoccupiedwiththebindingofthechair。

Mr。Hoopdriver，insteadofsittingdown，wentuptothetableandstoodagainstit，withhisfinger—tipsuponthecloth。Theywerekeepingbreakfastatremendoustime。Hetookuphisrolledserviettelookedcloselyandscrutinisinglyatthering，thenputhishandunderthefoldofthenapkinandexaminedthetexture，andputthethingdownagain。Thenhehadavagueimpulsetofingerhishollowwisdomtooth——happilychecked。Hesuddenlydiscoveredhewasstandingasifthetablewasacounter，andsatdownforthwith。Hedrummedwithhishandonthetable。Hefeltdreadfullyhotandself—conscious。

"Breakfastislate，"saidJessie，standingup。

"Isn’tit？"

Conversationwasslack。JessiewantedtoknowthedistancetoRingwood。Thensilencefellagain。

Mr。Hoopdriver，veryuncomfortableandstudyinganeasybearing，lookedagainatthebreakfastthingsandthenidlyliftedthecornerofthetableclothontheendsofhisfingers，andregardedit。"Fifteenthree，"hethought，privately。

"Whydoyoudothat？"saidJessie。

"WHAT？"saidHoopdriver，droppingthetableclothconvulsively。

"Lookattheclothlikethat。Isawyoudoityesterday，too。"

Mr。Hoopdriver’sfacebecamequiteabrightred。Hebeganpullinghismoustachenervously。"Iknow，"hesaid。"Iknow。It’saqueerhabit，Iknow。Butoutthere，youknow，there’snativeservants，youknow，and——it’saqueerthingtotalkabout——butonehastolookatthingstosee，don’ty’know，whetherthey’requitecleanornot。It’sgottobeahabit。"

"Howodd！"saidJessie。

"Isn’tit？"mumbledHoopdriver。

"IfIwereaSherlockHolmes，"saidJessie，"IsupposeIcouldhavetoldyouwereacolonialfromlittlethingslikethat。Butanyhow，Iguessedit，didn’tI？"

"Yes，"saidHoopdriver，inamelancholytone，"youguessedit。"

Whynotseizetheopportunityforaneatconfession，andadd，"unhappilyinthiscaseyouguessedwrong。"Didshesuspect？

Then，atthepsychologicalmoment，thegirlbumpedthedooropenwithhertrayandbroughtinthecoffeeandscrambledeggs。

"Iamratherluckywithmyintuitions，sometimes，"saidJessie。

Remorsethathadbeenaccumulatinginhismindfortwodayssurgedtothetopofhismind。Whatashabbyliarhewas！

And，besides，hemustsoonerorlater，inevitably，givehimselfaway。

XXXV

Mr。Hoopdriverhelpedtheeggsandthen，insteadofbeginning，satwithhischeekonhishand，watchingJessiepouroutthecoffee。Hisearswereabrightred，andhiseyesbright。Hetookhiscoffeecupclumsily，clearedhisthroat，suddenlyleantbackinhischair，andthrusthishandsdeepintohispockets。"I’lldoit，"hesaidaloud。

"Dowhat？"saidJessie，lookingupinsurpriseoverthecoffeepot。Shewasjustbeginningherscrambledegg。

"Ownup。"

"Ownwhat？"

"MissMilton——I’maliar。"Heputhisheadononesideandregardedherwithafrownoftremendousresolution。Theninmeasuredaccents，andmovinghisheadslowlyfromsidetoside，heannounced，"Ay’maderaper。"

"You’readraper？Ithought——"

"Youthoughtwrong。Butit’sboundtocomeup。Pins，attitude，habits——It’splainenough。

"I’madraper’sassistantletoutforaten—daysholiday。Jestadraper’sassistant。Notmuch，isit？Acounter—jumper。"

"Adraper’sassistantisn’tapositiontobeashamedof，"shesaid，recovering，andnotquiteunderstandingyetwhatthisallmeant。

"Yes，itis，"hesaid，"foraman，inthiscountrynow。Tobejustanotherman’shand，asIam。Tohavetowearwhatclothesyouaretold，andgotochurchtopleasecustomers，andwork——There’snootherkindofmenstandsuchhours。Adrunkenbricklayer’sakingtoit。"

"Butwhyareyoutellingmethisnow？"

"It’simportantyoushouldknowatonce。"

"But，Mr。Benson——"

"Thatisn’tall。Ifyoudon’tmindmyspeakingaboutmyselfabit，there’safewthingsI’dliketotellyou。Ican’tgoondeceivingyou。Myname’snotBenson。WHYItoldyouBenson，I

DON’Tknow。ExceptthatI’makindoffool。Well——IwantedsomehowtoseemmorethanIwas。Myname’sHoopdriver。"

"Yes？"

"AndthataboutSouthAfrica——andthatlion。"

"Well？"

"Lies。"

"Lies！"

Andthediscoveryofdiamondsontheostrichfarm。Liestoo。Andallthereminiscencesofthegiraffes——liestoo。Ineverrodeonnogiraffes。I’dbeafraid。"

Helookedatherwithakindofsullensatisfaction。Hehadeasedhisconscience，anyhow。Sheregardedhimininfiniteperplexity。

Thiswasanewsidealtogethertotheman。"ButWHY，"shebegan。

"WhydidItellyousuchthings？_I_don’tknow。Sillysortofchap，Iexpect。IsupposeIwantedtoimpressyou。Butsomehow，now，Iwantyoutoknowthetruth。"

Silence。Breakfastuntouched。"IthoughtI’dtellyou，"saidMr。

Hoopdriver。"Isupposeit’ssnobbishnessandallthatkindofthing，asmuchasanything。Ilayawakeprettynearalllastnightthinkingaboutmyself;thinkingwhatagot—upimitationofamanIwas，andallthat。"

"Andyouhaven’tanydiamondshares，andyouarenotgoingintoParliament，andyou’renot——"

"AllLies，"saidHoopdriver，inasepulchralvoice。"Liesfrombeginningtoend。’OwIcametotell’emIDON’Tknow。"

Shestaredathimblankly。

"IneverseteyesonAfricainmylife，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，completingtheconfession。Thenhepulledhisrighthandfromhispocket，andwiththenonchalanceofonetowhomthebitternessofdeathispassed，begantodrinkhiscoffee。

"It’salittlesurprising，"beganJessie，vaguely。

"Thinkitover，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"I’msorryfromthebottomofmyheart。"

Andthenbreakfastproceededinsilence。Jessieateverylittle，andseemedlostinthought。Mr。Hoopdriverwassoovercomebycontritionandanxietythatheconsumedanextraordinarilylargebreakfastoutofpurenervousness，andatehisscrambledeggsforthemostpartwiththespoonthatbelongedproperlytothemarmalade。Hiseyesweregloomilydowncast。Sheglancedathimthroughhereyelashes。Onceortwiceshestruggledwithlaughter，onceortwicesheseemedtobeindignant。

"Idon’tknowwhattothink，"shesaidatlast。"Idon’tknowwhattomakeofyou——brotherChris。Ithought，doyouknow？thatyouwereperfectlyhonest。Andsomehow——"

"Well？"

"Ithinksostill。"

"Honest——withallthoselies！"

"Iwonder。"

"Idon’t，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"I’mfairashamedofmyself。Butanyhow——I’vestoppeddeceivingyou。"

"ITHOUGHT，"saidtheYoungLadyinGrey，"thatstoryofthelion——"

"Lord！"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"Don’tremindmeofTHAT。"

"Ithought，somehow，IFELT，thatthethingsyousaiddidn’tringquitetrue。"Shesuddenlybrokeoutinlaughter，attheexpressionofhisface。"OfCOURSEyouarehonest，"shesaid。

"HowcouldIeverdoubtit？Asif_I_hadneverpretended！Iseeitallnow。"

Abruptlysherose，andextendedherhandacrossthebreakfastthings。Helookedatherdoubtfully，andsawthedancingfriendlinessinhereyes。Hescarcelyunderstoodatfirst。Herose，holdingthemarmaladespoon，andtookherprofferedhandwithabjecthumility。"Lord，"hebrokeout，"ifyouaren’tenough——butthere！"

"Iseeitallnow。"Abrilliantinspirationhadsuddenlyobscuredherhumour。Shesatdownsuddenly，andhesatdowntoo。"Youdidit，"shesaid，"becauseyouwantedtohelpme。AndyouthoughtI

wastooConventionaltotakehelpfromoneImightthinkmysocialinferior。"

"Thatwaspartlyit，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。

"Howyoumisunderstoodme！"shesaid。

"Youdon’tmind？"

"Itwasnobleofyou。ButIamsorry，"shesaid，"youshouldthinkmelikelytobeashamedofyoubecauseyoufollowadecenttrade。"

"Ididn’tknowatfirst，yousee，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。

Andhesubmittedmeeklytoarestorationofhisself—respect。Hewasasusefulacitizenascouldbe，——itwasproposedandcarried，——andhislyingwasofthenoblest。Andsothebreakfastconcludedmuchmorehappilythanhisbrightestexpectation，andtheyrodeoutofruddylittleBlandfordasthoughnoshadowofanysorthadcomebetweenthem。

XXXVI

Astheyweresittingbytheroadsideamongthepinetreeshalf—wayupastretchofhillbetweenWimborneandRingwood，however，Mr。Hoopdriverreopenedthequestionofhisworldlyposition。

"Juthink，"hebeganabruptly，removingameditativecigarettefromhismouth，"thatadraper’sshopmanISadecentcitizen？"

"Whynot？"

"Whenheputspeopleoffwithwhattheydon’tquitewant，forinstance？"

"Needhedothat？"

"Salesmanship，"saidHoopdriver。"Wouldn’tgetacribifhedidn’t。——It’snogoodyourarguing。It’snotaparticularlyhonestnoraparticularlyusefultrade;it’snotveryhighup;

there’snofreedomandnoleisure——seventoeight—thirtyeverydayintheweek;don’tleavemuchedgetoliveon，doesit？——realworkmenlaughatusandeducatedchapslikebankclerksandsolicitors’clerkslookdownonus。Youlookrespectableoutside，andinsideyouarepackedindormitorieslikeconvicts，fedonbreadandbutterandbulliedlikeslaves。You’rejustsuperiorenoughtofeelthatyou’renotsuperior。Withoutcapitalthere’snoprospects;onedraperinahundreddon’tevenearnenoughtomarryon;andifheDOESmarry，hisG。V。canjustusehimtoblackbootsifhelikes，andhedaren’tputhisbackup。That’sdrapery！Andyoutellmetobecontented。WouldYOUbecontentedifyouwasashopgirl？"

Shedidnotanswer。Shelookedathimwithdistressinherbrowneyes，andheremainedgloomilyinpossessionofthefield。

Presentlyhespoke。"I’vebeenthinking，"hesaid，andstopped。

Sheturnedherface，restinghercheekonthepalmofherhand。

Therewasalightinhereyesthatmadetheexpressionofthemtender。Mr。Hoopdriverhadnotlookedinherfacewhilehehadtalked。Hehadregardedthegrass，andpointedhisremarkswithredknuckledhandsheldopenandpalmsupwards。Nowtheyhunglimplyoverhisknees。

"Well？"shesaid。

"Iwasthinkingitthismorning，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。

"Yes？"

"Ofcourseit’ssilly。""Well？"

"It’slikethis。I’mtwenty—three，about。Ihadmyschoolingallrighttofifteen，say。Well，thatleavesmeeightyearsbehind。——Isittoolate？Iwasn’tsobackward。Ididalgebra，andLatinuptoauxiliaryverbs，andFrenchgenders。Igotakindofgrounding。"

"Andnowyoumean，shouldyougoonworking？"

"Yes，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"That’sit。Youcan’tdomuchatdraperywithoutcapital，youknow。ButifIcouldgetreallyeducated。I’vethoughtsometimes……"

"Whynot？saidtheYoungLadyinGrey。

Mr。Hoopdriverwassurprisedtoseeitinthatlight。"Youthink？"hesaid。"Ofcourse。YouareaMan。Youarefree——"Shewarmed。"IwishIwereyoutohavethechanceofthatstruggle。"

"AmIManENOUGH？"saidMr。Hoopdriveraloud，butaddressinghimself。"There’sthateightyears，"hesaidtoher。

"Youcanmakeitup。Whatyoucalleducatedmen——They’renotgoingon。Youcancatchthem。Theyarequitesatisfied。Playinggolf，andthinkingofcleverthingstosaytowomenlikemystepmother，anddiningout。You’reinfrontofthemalreadyinonething。Theythinktheyknoweverything。Youdon’t。Andtheyknowsuchlittlethings。"

"Lord！"saidMr。Hoopdriver。"Howyouencourageafellow！"

"IfIcouldonlyhelpyou，"shesaid，andleftaneloquenthiatus。Hebecamepensiveagain。

"It’sprettyevidentyoudon’tthinkmuchofadraper，"hesaidabruptly。

Anotherinterval。"Hundredsofmen，"shesaid，"havecomefromtheverylowestranksoflife。TherewasBurns，aploughman;andHughMiller，astonemason;andplentyofothers。Dodsleywasafootman——"

"Butdrapers！We’retoosortofshabbygenteeltorise。Ourcoatsandcuffsmightgetcrumpled——"

"Wasn’tthereaClarkewhowrotetheology？Hewasadraper。"

"Therewasonestartedasewingcotton，theonlyoneIeverheardtellof。"

"Haveyoueverread’HeartsInsurgent’？"

"Never，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。Hedidnotwaitforhercontext，butsuddenlybrokeoutwithanaccountofhisliteraryrequirements。"Thefactis——I’vereadpreciouslittle。Onedon’tgetmuchofachance，situatedasIam。Wehavealibraryatbusiness，andI’vegonethroughthat。MostBesantI’veread，andalotofMrs。Braddon’sandRiderHaggardandMarieCorelli——and，well——aOuidaorso。They’regoodstories，ofcourse，andfirst—classwriters，buttheydidn’tseemtohavemuchtodowithme。Butthere’sheapsofbooksonehearstalkedabout，IHAVEN’T

read。"

"Don’tyoureadanyotherbooksbutnovels？"

"Scarcelyever。Onegetstiredafterbusiness，andyoucan’tgetthebooks。Ihavebeentosomeextensionlectures，ofcourse，’LizabethanDramatists，’itwas，butitseemedalittlehigh—flown，youknow。AndIwentanddidwood—carvingatthesameplace。Butitdidn’tseemleadingnowhere，andIcutmythumbandchuckedit。"

Hemadeadepressingspectacle，withhisfaceanxiousandhishandslimp。"Itmakesmesick，"hesaid，"tothinkhowI’vebeenfooledwith。MyoldschoolmasteroughttohaveajuicedHIDING。

He’sathief。Hepretendedtoundertaketomakeamanofme，andbe’sstoletwenty—threeyearsofmylife，filledmeupwithscrapsandsweepings。HereIam！Idon’tKNOWanything，andI

can’tDOanything，andallthelearningtimeisover。"

"Isit？"shesaid;buthedidnotseemtohearher。"Myo’

peopledidn’tknowanybetter，andwentandpaidthirtypoundspremium——thirtypoundsdowntohavememadeTHIS。TheG。V。

promisedtoteachmethetrade，andhenevertaughtmeanythingbuttobeaHand。It’sthewaytheydowithdraper’sapprentices。

Ifeveryswindlerwaslockedup——well，you’dhavenowheretobuytapeandcotton。It’sallverywelltobringupBurnsandthosechaps，butI’mnotthatmake。YetI’mnotsuchmuckthatImightnothavebeenbetter——withteaching。Iwonderwhatthechapswhosneerandlaughatsuchasmewouldbeifthey’dbeenfooledaboutasI’vebeen。Attwenty—three——it’salongstart。"

Helookedupwithawintrysmile，asadderandwiserHoopdriverindeedthanhimofthegloriousimaginings。"It’sYOUdonethis，"

hesaid。"You’rereal。AnditsetsmethinkingwhatIreallyam，andwhatImighthavebeen。Supposeitwasalldifferent——"

"MAKEitdifferent。"

"How？"

"WORK。Stopplayingatlife。Faceitlikeaman。"

"Ah！"saidHoopdriver，glancingatheroutofthecornersofhiseyes。"Andeventhen——"

"No！It’snotmuchgood。I’mbeginningtoolate。"

Andthere，inblanklythoughtfulsilence，thatconversationended。

INTHENEWFOREST

XXXVII

AtRingwoodtheylunched，andJessiemetwithadisappointment。

Therewasnoletterforheratthepostoffice。Oppositethehotel，TheChequeredCareer，wasamachineshopwithaconspicuouslysecond—handMarlboroughClubtandemtricycledisplayedinthewindow，togetherwiththeannouncementthatbicyclesandtricycleswereonhirewithin。TheestablishmentwasimpressedonMr。Hoopdriver’smindbytheproprietor’sactionincomingacrosstheroadandnarrowlyinspectingtheirmachines。

Hisactionrevivedanumberofdisagreeableimpressions，but，happily，cametonothing。Whiletheywerestilllunching，atallclergyman，withaheatedface，enteredtheroomandsatdownatthetablenexttotheirs。Hewasinakindofholidaycostume;

thatistosay，hehadamorethanusuallyhighcollar，fastenedbehindandrathertheworsefortheweather，andhislong—tailcoathadbeenreplacedbyablackjacketofquiteremarkablebrevity。Hehadfadedbrownshoesonhisfeet，histrouserlegsweregreywithdust，andheworeahatofpiebaldstrawintheplaceofthecustomarysoftfelt。Hewasevidentlysociallyinclined。