第6章

"Someofthepapershavedonegoodworkinthatline。There’stheMorningMars，forinstance。Itwarmeduptwoorthreetrails，andgotthemanafterthepolicehadlet’emgetcold。"

"I’llshowyou，"saidTiernan，rising，andexpand—

inghischest。"I’llshowyouwhatIthinkofnews—

papersingeneral，andyourMorningMarsinpar—

ticular。"

Threefeetfromtheirtablewasthetelephonebooth。Kernanwentinsideandsatattheinstrument，leavingthedooropen。Hefoundanumberinthebook，tookdownthereceiverandmadehisdemanduponCentral。Woodssatstill，lookingatthesneer—

ing，cold，vigilantfacewaitingclosetothetrans—

mitter，andlistenedtothewordsthatcamefromthethin，truculentlipscurvedintoacontemptuoussmile。

"ThattheMorningMars？……Iwanttospeaktothemanagingeditor……Why，tellhimit’ssomeonewhowantstotalktohimabouttheNorcrossmurder。

"Youtheeditor？……Allright……I

amthemanwhokilledoldNorcross……Wait！

Holdthewire;I’mnottheusualcrank……oh，thereisn’ttheslightestdanger。I’vejustbeendis—

cussingitwithadetectivefriendofmine。Ikilledtheoldmanat2：30A。M。twoweeksagoto—

morrow……Haveadrinkwithyou？Now，hadn’tyoubetterleavethatkindoftalktoyourfunnyman？Can’tyoutellwhetheraman’sguyingyouorwhetheryou’rebeingofferedthebiggestscoopyourdulldishragofapapereverhad？……

Well，that’sso;it’sabobtailscoop——butyoucanhardlyexpectmeto’phoneinmynameandaddress……Why？Oh，becauseIbeardyoumakeaspecialtyofsolvingmysteriouscrimesthatstumpthepolice……No，that’snotall。Iwanttotellyouthatyourrotten，lying，pennysheetisofnomoreuseintrackinganintelligentmurdererorhighway—

manthanablindpoodlewouldbe……What？……Oh，no，thisisn’tarivalnewspaperoffice;

you’regettingitstraight。IdidtheNorcrossjob，andI’vegotthejewelsinmysuitcaseat——’thenameofthehotelcouldnotbelearned’——yourecog—

nizethatphrase，don’tyou？Ithoughtso。You’veuseditoftenenough。Kindofrattlesyou，doesn’tit，tohavethemysteriousvillaincallupyourgreat，big，all—powerfulorganofrightandjusticeandgoodgovernmentandtellyouwhatahelplessoldgas—bagyouare？……Cutthatout;you’renotthatbigafool——no，youdon’tthinkI’mafraud。Icantellitbyyourvoice……Now，listen，andI’llgiveyouapointerthatwillproveittoyou。Ofcourseyou’vehadthismurdercaseworkedoverbyyourstaffofbrightyoungblockheads。Halfofthesecondbut—

tononoldMrs。Norcross’snightgownisbrokenoff。

IsawitwhenItookthegarnetringoffherfinger。

Ithoughtitwasaruby……——Stopthat！itwon’twork。"

KernanturnedtoWoodswithadiabolicsmile。

"I’vegothimgoing。Hebelievesmenow。Hedidn’tquitecoverthetransmitterwithhishandwhenhetoldsomebodytocallupCentralonanother’phoneandgetournumber。I’llgivehimjustonemoredig，andthenwe’llmakea’get—away。’

"Hello！……Yes。I’mhereyet。Youdidn’tthink——I’drunfromsuchalittlesubsidized，turn—

coatragofanewspaper，didyou？……Havemeinsideofforty—eighthours？Say，willyouquitbeingfunny？Now，youletgrownmenaloneandat—

tendtoyourbusinessofhuntingupdivorcecasesandstreet—caraccidentsandprintingthefilthandscandalthatyoumakeyourlivingby。Good—by，oldboy——sorryIhaven’ttimetocallonyou。I’dfeelperfectlysafeinyoursanctumasinorum。Tra—la！"

"He’sasmadasacatthat’slostamouse，"saidKernan，hangingupthereceiverandcomingout。

"Andnow，Barney，myboy，we’llgotoashowandenjoyourselvesuntilareasonablebedtime。Fourhours’sleepforme，andthenthewest—bound。"

ThetwodinedinaBroadwayrestaurant。Kernanwaspleasedwithhimself。Hespentmoneylikeaprinceoffiction。Andthenaweirdandgorgeousmusicalcomedyengagedtheirattention。Afterwardtherewasalatesupperinagrillroom，withchampagne，andKernanattheheightofhiscom—

placency。

Half—pastthreeinthemorningfoundtheminacornerofanall—nightcafe，Kernanstillboastinginavapidandramblingway，Woodsthinkingmoodilyovertheendthathadcometohisusefulnessasanupholderofthelaw。

But，ashepondered，hiseyebrightenedwithaspeculativelight。

"Iwonderifit’spossible，"besaidtohimself，"I

won—derifit’spos—si—ble！

Andthenoutsidethecafethecomparativestillnessoftheearlymorningwaspuncturedbyfaint，uncer—

taincriesthatseemedmerefirefliesofsound，somegrowinglouder，somefainter，waxingandwaningamidtherumbleofmilkwagonsandinfrequentcars。

Shrillcriestheywerewhennear——well—knowncriesthatconveyedmanymeaningstotheearsofthoseoftheslumberingmillionsofthegreatcitywhowakedtohearthem。Criesthatboreupontheirsignificant，smallvolumetheweightofaworld’swoeandlaugh—

teranddelightandstress。Tosome，coweringbe—

neaththeprotectionofanight’sephemeralcover，theybroughtnewsofthehideous，brightday;toothers，wrappedinhappysleep，theyannouncedamorningthatwoulddawnblackerthansablenight。

Tomanyoftherichtheybroughtabesomtosweepawaywhathadbeentheirswhilethestarsshone;tothepoortheybrought——anotherday。

Alloverthecitythecrieswerestartingup，keenandsonorous，heraldingthechancesthattheslip—

pingofonecogwheelinthemachineryoftimehadmade;apportioningtothesleeperswhiletheylayatthemercyoffate，thevengeance，profit，grief，rewardanddoomthatthenewfigureinthecalen—

darhadbroughtthem。Shrillandyetplaintivewerethecries，asiftheyoungvoicesgrievedthatsomuchevilandsolittlegoodwasintheirirresponsiblehands。Thusechoedinthestreetsofthehelplesscitythetransmissionofthelatestdecreesofthegods，thecriesofthenewsboys——theClarionCallofthePress。

Woodsflippedadimetothewaiter，andsaid：

"GetmeaMorningMars。"

Whenthepapercameheglancedatitsfirstpage，andthentorealeafoutofhismemorandumbookandbegantowriteonitwiththelittleoldpencil。

"What’sthenews？"’yawnedKernan。

Woodsflippedovertohimthepieceofwriting：

"TheNewYorkMorningMars：

"PleasepaytotheorderofJohnKernantheonethousanddollarsrewardcomingtomeforhisarrestandconviction。

"BARNARDWOODS。"

"Ikindofthoughttheywoulddothat，"saidWoods，"whenyouwerejollyingthemsohard。Now，Johnny，you’llcometothepolicestationwithme。"

EXTRADITEDFROMBOHEMIA

FromnearthevillageofHarmony，atthefootoftheGreenMountains，cameMissMedoraMartintoNewYorkwithhercolor—boxandeasel。

MissMedoraresembledtherosewhichtheautum—

nalfrostshadsparedthelongestofallhersisterblossoms。InHarmony，whenshestartedalonetothewickedcitytostudyart，theysaidshewasamad，reckless，headstronggirl。InNewYork，whenshefirsttookherseatataWestSideboardinghousetable，theboardersasked："Whoisthenice—lookingoldmaid？"

Medoratookheart，acheaphallbedroomandtwoartlessonsaweekfromProfessorAngelini，aretiredbarberwhohadstudiedhisprofessioninaHarlemdancingacademy。Therewasnoonetosetherright，forhereinthebigcitytheydoituntoallofus。

Howmanyofusarebadlyshaveddailyandtaughtthetwo—stepimperfectlybyex—pupilsofBastienLePageandGerome？ThemostpatheticsightinNewYork——exceptthemannersoftherush—hourcrowds——isthedrearymarchofthehopelessarmyofMe—

diocrity。HereArtisnobenignantgoddess，butaCircewhoturnsherwooersintomewingTomsandTabbieswholingeraboutthedoorstepsofherabode，unmindfuloftheflyingbrickbatsandboot—jacksofthecritics。Someofuscreepbacktoournativevil—

lagestotheskim—milkof"Itoldyouso";butmostofusprefertoremaininthecoldcourtyardofourmistress’stemple，snatchingthescrapsthatfallfromherdivinetabled’hote。Butsomeofusgrowwearyatlastofthefruitlessservice。Andthentherearetwofatesopentous。Wecangetajobdrivingagrocer’swagon，orwecangetswallowedupintheVortexofBohemia。Thelattersoundsgood;buttheformerreallypansoutbetter。For，whenthegrocerpaysusoffwecanrentadresssuitand——thecap—

italizedsystemofhumordescribesitbest——GetBo—

hemiaOntheRun。

MissMedorachosetheVortexandtherebyfur—

nishesuswithourlittlestory。

ProfessorAngelinipraisedhersketchesexcessively。

Oncewhenshehadmadeaneatstudyofahorse—

chestnuttreeintheparkhedeclaredshewouldbe—

comeasecondRosaBonheur。Again——agreatart—

isthashismoods——hewouldsaycruelandcuttingthings。Forexample，Medorahadspentanafter—

noonpatientlysketchingthestatueandthearchi—

tectureatColumbusCircle。Tossingitasidewithasneer，theprofessorinformedherthatGiottohadoncedrawnaperfectcirclewithonesweepofhishand。

Onedayitrained，theweeklyremittancefromHar—

monywasoverdue，Medorahadaheadache，thepro—

fessorhadtriedtoborrowtwodollarsfromher，herartdealerhadsentbackallherwater—colorsunsold，and——Mr。Binkleyaskedherouttodinner。

Mr。Binkleywasthegayboyoftheboarding—

house。Hewasforty—nine，andownedafishstallinadowntownmarket。Butaftersixo’clockheworeaneveningsuitandwhoopedthingsupconnectedwiththebeauxarts。Theyoungmensaidhewasan"Indian。"HewassupposedtobeanaccomplishedhabitueoftheinnercirclesofBohemia。Itwasnosecretthathehadonceloaned$10toayoungmanwhohadhadadrawingprintedinPuck。Oftenhasonethusobtainedhisentreeintothecharmedcircle，whiletheotherobtainedbothhisentreeandroast。

TheotherboardersenviouslyregardedMedoraassheleftatMr。Binkley’ssideatnineo’clock。Shewasassweetasaclusterofdriedautumngrassesinherpaleblue——oh——er——thatverythinstuff——inherpaleblueComstockizedsilkwaistandbox—

pleatedvoileskirt，withasoftpinkglowonherthincheeksandthetiniestbitofrougepowderonherface，withherhandkerchiefandroomkeyinherbrownwalrus，pebble—grainband—bag。

AndMr。Binkleylookedimposinganddashingwithhisredfaceandgraymustache，andhistightdresscoat，thatmadethebackofhisneckrollupjustlikeasuccessfulnovelist’s。

TheydroveinacabtotheCafeTerence，justoffthemostglitteringpartofBroadway，which，aseveryoneknows，isoneofthemostpopularandwidelypatronized，jealouslyexclusiveBohemianre—

sortsinthecity。

DownbetweentherowsoflittletablestrippedMedora，oftheGreenMountains，afterherescort。

Thriceinalifetimemaywomanwalkuponcloudsoncewhenshetrippethtothealtar，oncewhenshefirstentersBohemianhalls，thelastwhenshemarchesbackacrossherfirstgardenwiththedeadhenofherneighborinherband。

Therewasatableset，withthreeorfouraboutit。

Awaiterbuzzedarounditlikeabee，andsilverandglassshoneuponit。And，preliminarytothemeal，astheprehistoricgranitestrataheraldedthepro—

tozoa，thebreadofGaul，compoundedafterthefor—

mulaoftherecipefortheeternalbills，wastheresetforthtothehandandtoothofalong—sufferingcity，whilethegodslaybesidetheirnectarandhome—madebiscuitsandsmiled，andthedentistsleapedforjoyintheirgold—leafydens。

TheeyeofBinkleyfixedayoungmanathistablewiththeBobemiangleam，whichisacompoundofthelookoftheBasilisk，theshineofabubbleofWurzburger，theinspirationofgeniusandtheplead—

ingofapanhandler。

Theyoungmansprangtohisfeet。"Hello，Bink，oldboy！beshouted。"Don’ttellmeyouwerego—

ingtopassourtable。Joinus——unlessyou’vean—

othercrowdonhand。"

"Don’tmind，oldchap，"saidBinkley，ofthefish—

stall。"YouknowhowIliketobuttupagainstthefinearts。Mr。Vandyke——Mr。Madder——er——

MissMartin，oneoftheelectalsoinart——er——"

Theintroductionwentaround。TherewerealsoMissEliseandMiss’Toinette。Perhapstheyweremodels，fortheychatteredoftheSt。Regisdecora—

tionsandHenryJames——andtheydiditnotbadly。

Medorasatintransport。Music——wild，intoxi—

eatingmusicmadebytroubadoursdirectfromarearbasementroominElysium——setherthoughtstodancing。Herewasaworldneverbeforepenetratedbyherwarmestimaginationoranyofthelinescon—

trolledbyHarriman。WiththeGreenMountains’

externalcalmuponhershesat，hersoulflaminginherwiththefireofAndalusia。ThetableswerefilledwithBohemia。Theroomwasfullofthefragranceofflowers——bothmilleandcauli。Questionsandcorkspopped;laughterandsilverrang;champagneflashedinthepail，witflashedinthepan。

Vandykeruffledhislong，blacklocks，disarrangedhiscarelesstieandleanedovertoMadder。

"Say，Maddy，"hewhispered，feelingly，"some—

timesI’mtemptedtopaythisPhilistinehistendol—

larsandgetridofhim。"

Madderruffledhislong，sandylocksanddisar—

rangedhiscarelesstie。

"Don’tthinkofit，Vandy，"hereplied。"Weareshort，andArtislong。"

Medoraatestrangeviandsanddrankelderberrywinethattheypouredinherglass。ItwasjustthecolorofthatintheVermonthome。Thewaiterpouredsomethinginanotherglassthatseemedtobeboiling，butwhenshetastedititwasnothot。

Shehadneverfeltsolight—heartedbefore。ShethoughtlovinglyoftheGreenMountainfarmanditsfauna。Sheleaned，smiling，toMissElise。

"IfIwereathome，"shesaid，beamingly，"I

couldshowyouthecutestlittlecalf！"

"NothingforyouintheWhiteLane，"saidMissElise。"Whydon’tyoupad？

TheorchestraplayedawailingwaltzthatMedorahadlearnedfromthehand—organs。Shefollowedtheairwithnoddingheadinasweetsopranohum。

Madderlookedacrossthetableather，andwonderedinwhatstrangewatersBinkleyhadcaughtherinhisseine。Shesmiledathim，andtheyraisedglassesanddrankofthewinethatboiledwhenitwascold。

Binkleyhadabandonedartandwaspratingoftheunusualspringcatchofshad。MissElisearrangedthepalette—and—maul—sticktiepinofMr。Vandyke。

APhilistineatsomedistanttablewasmaunderingvolublyeitheraboutJeromeorGerome。Afamousactresswasdiscoursingexcitablyaboutmonogrammedhosiery。Ahoseclerkfromadepartmentstorewasloudlyproclaiminghisopinionsofthedrama。A

writerwasabusingDickens。Amagazineeditorandaphotographerweredrinkingadrybrandatare—

servedtable。A36—25—42youngladywassayingtoaneminentsculptor："FudgeforyourPraxItalys！

BringoneofyourVenusAnnoDominisdowntoCohen’sandseebowquickshe’dbeturneddownforacloakmodel。BacktothequarrieswithyourGreeksandDagos！"

ThuswentBohemia。

AtelevenMr。BinkleytookMedoratotheboard—

ing—bouseandlefther，withasocietybow，atthefootofthehallstairs。Shewentuptoherroomandlitthegas。

Andthen，assuddenlyasthedreadfulgeniearoseinvaporfromthecoppervaseofthefisherman，aroseinthatroomtheformidableshapeoftheNewEnglandConscience。TheterriblethingthatMedorahaddonewasrevealedtoherinitsfullenormity。Shehadsatinthepresenceoftheun—

godlyandlookeduponthewinebothwhenitwasredandeffervescent。

Atmidnightshewrotethisletter：

"Mr。BERLAHHOSKINS，Harmony，Vermont。

"DearSir：Henceforth，considermeasdeadtoyouforever。Ihavelovedyoutoowelltoblightyourcareerbybringingintoitmyguiltyandsin—stainedlife。IhavesuccumbedtotheinsidiouswilesofthiswickedworldandhavebeendrawnintothevortexofBohemia。ThereisscarcelyanydepthofglitteringiniquitythatIhavenotsounded。Itishopelesstocombatmydecision。ThereisnorisingfromthedepthstowhichIhavesunk。Endeavortoforgetme。IamlostforeverinthefairbutbrutalmazeofawfulBohemia。Farewell。

"ONCEYOURMEDORA。"

OnthenextdayMedoraformedherresolutions。

Beelzebub，flungfromheaven，wasnomorecastdown。

BetweenherandtheappleblossomsofHarmonytherewasafixedgulf。Flamingcherubimwardedherfromthegatesofherlostparadise。Inoneevening，bytheaidofBinkleyandMumm，Bohemiahadgatheredherintoitsawfulmidst。

Thereremainedtoherbutonething——alifeofbrilliant，butirremediableerror。Vermontwasashrinethatsheneverwoulddaretoapproachagain。

Butshewouldnotsink——thereweregreatandcom—

pellingonesinhistoryuponwhomshewouldmodelhermeteoriccareer——Camille，LolaMontez，RoyalMary，Zaza——suchanameasoneofthesewouldthatofMedoraMartinbetofuturegenerationsFortwodaysMedorakeptherroom。OnthethirdsheopenedamagazineattheportraitoftheKingofBelgium，andlaughedsardonically。Ifthatfar—famedbreakerofwomen’sheartsshouldcrossherpath，hewouldhavetobowbeforehercoldandim—

periousbeauty。Shewouldnotsparetheoldortheyoung。AllAmerica——allEuropeshoulddohomagetohersinister，butcompellingcharm。

Asyetshecouldnotbeartothinkofthelifeshehadoncedesired——apeacefuloneintheshadowoftheGreenMountainswithBeriahatherside，andordersforexpensiveoilpaintingscominginbyeachmailfromNewYork。Heronefatalmisstephadshatteredthatdream。

OnthefourthdayMedorapowderedherfaceandrougedherlips。OnceshehadseenCarterin"Zaza。"Shestoodbeforethemirrorinarecklessattitudeandcried："Zut！zut！"Sherhymeditwith"nut，"butwiththelawlesswordHarmonyseemedtopassawayforever。TheVortexhadher。

ShebelongedtoBohemiaforevermore。AndneverwouldBeriah——

ThedooropenedandBeriahwalkedin。

"’Dory，"saidhe，"what’sallthatchalkandpinkstuffonyourface，honey？

Medoraextendedanarm。

"Toolate，"shesaid，solemnly。Thedieiscast。

Ibelonginanotherworld。Cursemeifyouwill——

itisyourright。Go，andleavemeinthepathI

havechosen。Bidthemallathomenevertomen—

tionmynameagain。Andsometimes，Beriah，prayformewhenIamrevellinginthegaudy，buthol—

low，pleasuresofBohemia。"

"Getatowel，’Dory，"saidBeriah，"andwipethatpaintoffyourface。IcameassoonasIgotyourletter。Thempicturesofyoursain’tamount—

ingtoanything。I’vegotticketsforbothofusbackontheeveningtrain。Hurryandgetyourthingsinyourtrunk。"

"Fatewastoostrongforme，Beriah。GowhileIamstrongtobearit。"

"Howdoyoufoldthiseasel，’Dory？——nowbegintopack，sowehavetimetoeatbeforetraintime。

Themaplesisalloutinfull—grownleaves，’Dory——

youjustoughttosee’em！

"Notthisearly，Beriah？

"Yououghttosee’em，’Dory;they’relikeanoceanofgreeninthemorningsunlight。"

"Oh，Beriah！"

Onthetrainshesaidtohimsuddenly：

"Iwonderwhyyoucamewhenyougotmylet—

ter。"

"Oh，shucks！"saidBeriah。"Didyouthinkyoucouldfoolme？HowcouldyouberunawaytothatBohemiacountrylikeyousaidwhenyourletterwaspostmarkedNewYorkasplainasday？"

APHILISTINEINBOHEMIA

GeorgeWashington，withhisrightarmup—

raised，sitshisironhorseatthelowercornerofUnionSquare，foreversignalingtheBroadwaycarstostopastheyroundthecurveintoFourteenthStreet。Butthecarsbuzzon，heedless，astheydoatthebeckofaprivatecitizen，andthegreatGeneralmustfeel，unlesshisnervesareiron，thatrapidtran—

sitgloriamundi。

ShouldtheGeneralraisehislefthandashehasraisedhisrightitwouldpointtoaquarterofthecitythatformsahavenfortheoppressedandsup—

pressedofforeignlands。Inthecauseofnationalorpersonalfreedomtheyhavefoundarefugehere，andthepatriotwhomadeitforthemsitshissteed，overlookingtheirdistrict，whilehelistensthroughhisleftcartovaudevillethatcaricaturestheposterityofhisproteges。Italy，Poland，theformerSpanishpossessionsandthepolyglottribesofAustria—Hun—

garyhavespilledhereathicklatheroftheireffer—

vescentsons。Intheeccentriccafesandlodging—

housesofthevicinitytheyhoverovertheirnativewinesandpoliticalsecrets。Thecolonychangeswithmuchfrequency。Facesdisappearfromthehauntstobereplacedbyothers。Whitherdotheseuneasybirdsflit？Forhalfoftheanswerobservecarefullythesuaveforeignairandforeigncourtesyofthenextwaiterwhoservesyourtabled’hote。

Fortheotherhalf，perhapsifthebarbershopshadtongues（andwhowilldisputeit？）theycouldtelltheirshare。

Titlesareasplentifulasfingerringsamongthesetransitoryexiles。ForlackofproperexploitationastockoftitledgoodslargeenoughtosupplythetradeofupperFifthAvenueisherecondemnedtoamerepushcarttraffic。Thenew—worldlandlordswhoen—

tertaintheseoffshootsofnobilityarenotdazzledbycoronetsandcrests。Theyhavedoughnutstosellinsteadofdaughters。Withthemitisaseriousmatteroftradinginflourandsugarinsteadofpearlpowderandbonbons。

Theseassertionsaredeemedfittingasanintro—

ductiontothetale，whichisofplebeiansandcontainsnoonewitheventheghostofatitle。

KatyDempsey’smotherkeptafurnished—roomhouseinthisoasisofthealiens。Thebusinesswasnotprofitable。Ifthetwoscrapedtogetherenoughtomeetthelandlord’sagentonrentdayandnego—

tiatefortheingredientsofadailyIrishstewtheycalleditsuccess。Oftenthestewlackedbothmeatandpotatoes。Sometimesitbecameasbadascon—

somme’withmusic。

InthismouldyoldhouseKatywaxedplumpandpertandwholesomeandasbeautifulandfreckledasatigerlily。ShewasthegoodfairywhowasguiltyofplacingthedampcleantowelsandcrackedpitchersoffreshlylaunderedCrotoninthelodgers’rooms。

Youareinformed（byvirtueoftheprivilegesofastronomicaldiscovery）thatthestarlodger’snamewasMr。Brunelli。Hiswearingayellowtieandpay—

inghisrentpromptlydistinguishedhimfromtheotherlodgers。Hisraimentwassplendid，hiscom—

plexionolive，his，mustachefierce，hismannersaprince’s，hisringsandpinsasmagnificentasthoseofatravelingdentist。

Hehadbreakfastservedinhisroom，andheateitinareddressinggownwithgreentassels。Heleftthehouseatnoonandreturnedatmidnight。Thoseweremysterioushours，buttherewasnothingmy—

teriousaboutMrs。Dempsey’slodgersexceptthethingsthatwerenotmysterious。OneofMr。Kip—

ling’spoemsisaddressedto"Yewhoholdtheun—

writtencluetoallsaveallunwrittenthing。"Thesame"readers"areinvitedtotackletheforegoingassertion。

Mr。Brunelli，beingimpressionableandaLatin，felltoconjugatingtheverb"amare，"withKatyintheobjectivecase，thoughnotbecauseofantipathy。

Shetalkeditoverwithhermother。

"Sure，Ilikehim，"saidKaty。"He’smorepo—

litenessthantwintycandidatesforAlderman，andliemakesmefeellikeaqueenwhinhewalksatmeside。

Butwhatishe，Idinno？I’vemesuspicions。Themarnin’llcoomwhinhe’llthrotoutthepictureavhisbaronialhallsandaxtohavetheweek’srinthungupintheicechistalongwidalltheristof’em。"

"’Tistrue，"admittedMrs。Dempsey，"thatheseemstobeasortivaDago，andtoocoolchuredinhisspacheforaralegentleman。Butyemaybemis—

judgin’him。Yeshouldniversuspectanywanofbein’ofnobledescintthatpayscashandpathronizesthelaundryrig’lar。"

"He’sthesametbricksofspakin’andblarneyin’

widhishands，"sighedKaty，"astheFrinchnoble—

manatMrs。Toole’sthatranawaywidMr。Toole’sSundaypantsandleftthephotographoftheBastile，hisgrandfather’schat—taw，assecurityfortinweeks’

rint。"

Mr。Brunellicontinuedhiscalorificwooing。Katycontinuedtohesitate。Onedayheaskedherouttodineandshefeltthatadenouementwasintheair。

Whiletheyareontheirway，withKatyinherbestmuslin，youmusttakeasanentr’acteabriefpeepatNewYork’sBohemia。

’Tonio’srestaurantisinBohemia。Theverylo—

cationofitissecret。Ifyouwishtoknowwhereitisaskthefirstpersonyoumeet。Hewilltellyouinawhisper。’Toniodiscountenancescustom;hekeepshishouse—frontblackandforbidding;hegivesyouaprettybaddinner;helockshisdooratthedininghour;butheknowsspaghettiastheboarding—houseknowscoldveal;and——hehasdepositedmanydol—

larsinacertainBancodi——somethingwithmanygoldvowelsinthenameonitswindows。

TothisrestaurantMr。BrunelliconductedKaty。

Thehousewasdarkandtheshadeswerelowered;butMr。Brunellitouchedanelectricbuttonbythebase—

mentdoor，andtheywereadmitted。

Alongalong，dark，narrowhallwaytheywentandthenthroughashiningandspotlesskitchenthatopeneddirectlyuponabackyard。

Thewallsofhouseshemmedthreesidesoftheyard;ahigh，boardfence，surroundedbycats，theother。Awashofclotheswassuspendedhighuponalinestretchedfromdiagonalcorners。Thosewerepropertyclothes，andwerenevertakeninby’Tonio。

Theyweretherethatwitswithdefectivepronuncia—

tionmightmakepunsinconnectionwiththeragout。

AdozenandahalflittletablessetuponthebaregroundwerecrowdedwithBohemia—hunters，whoflockedtherebecause’Toniopretendednottowantthemandpretendedtogivethemagooddinner。

TherewasasprinklingofrealBohemianspresentwhocameforachangebecausetheyweretiredoftherealBohemia，andasmartshowerofthemenwhooriginatethebrightsayingsofCongressmenandthelittlenephewofthewell—knowngeneralpassen—

geragentoftheEvansvilleandTerreHauteRail—

roadCompany。

Hereisabonmotthatwasmanufacturedat’Tonio’s：

"Adinnerat’Tonio’s，"saidaBohemian，"alwaysamountstotwicethepricethatisaskedforit。"

Letusassumethatanaccommodatingvoicein—

quires：

"Howso？"

"Thedinnercostsyou40cents;yougive10centstothewaiter，anditmakesyoufeellike30cents。"

Mostofthedinerswereconfirmedtabled’hoters——

gastronomicadventuress，foreverseekingtheElDo—

radoofagoodclaret，andconsistentlycomingtogriefinCalifornia。

Mr。BrunelliescortedKatytoalittletableem—

boweredwithshrubberyintubs，andaskedhertoexcusehimforawhile。

Katysat，enchantedbyascenesobrillianttoher。

Thegrandladies，insplendiddressesandplumesandsparklingrings;thefinegentlemenwholaughedsoloudly，thecriesof"Garsong！"and"We，mon—

seer，"and"Hello，Mame！"thatdistinguishBo—

hemia;thelivelychatter，thecigarettesmoke，theinterchangeofbrightsmilesandeye—glances——allthisdisplayandmagnificenceoverpoweredthedaugh—

terofMrs。Dempseyandheldhermotionless。

Mr。Brunellisteppedintotheyardandseemedtospreadhissmileandbowovertheentirecompany。

Andeverywheretherewasagreatclappingofbandsandafewcriesof"Bravo！"and"’Tonio！’Tonio！"

whateverthosewordsmightmean。Ladieswavedtheirnapkinsathim，gentlemenalmosttwistedtheirnecksoff，tryingtocatchhisnod。

WhentheovationwasconcludedMr。Brunelli，withafinalbow，steppednimblyintothekitchenandflungoffhiscoatandwaistcoat。

"Flaherty，thenimblest"garsong"amongthewaiters，hadbeenassignedtothespecialserviceofKaty。Shewasalittlefaintfromhunger，fortheIrishstewontheDempseytablehadbeenparticu—

larlyweakthatday。Deliciousodorsfromunknowndishestantalizedher。AndFlahertybegantobringtohertablecourseaftercourseofambrosialfoodthatthegodsmighthavepronouncedexcellent。

ButeveninthemidstofherLucullianrepastKatylaiddownherknifeandfork。Herheartsankaslead，andatearfelluponherfiletmignon。Herhauntingsuspicionsofthestarlodgeraroseagain，fourfold。Thuscourtedandadmiredandsmileduponbythatfashionableandgraciousassembly，whatelsecouldMr。Brunellibebutoneofthosedazzlingtitledpatricians，gloriousofnamebutshyofrentmoney，concerningwhomexperiencehadmadeherwise？Withasenseofhisineligibilitygrowingwithinhertherewasmingledatorturingconvictionthathispersonalitywasbecomingmorepleasingtoherdaybyday。Andwhyhadhelefthertodinealone？

Butherehewascomingagain，nowcoatless，hissnowyshirt—sleevesrolledhighabovehisJeffries—

onianelbows，awhiteyachtingcappercheduponhisjettycurls。

"’Tonio！’Tonio！"shoutedmany，and"Thespaghetti！Thespaghetti！"shoutedtherest。

Neverat’Tonio’sdidawaiterdaretoserveadishofspaghettiuntil’Toniocametotestit，toprovethesauceandaddtheneedfuldashofseasoningthatgaveitperfection。

Fromtabletotablemoved’Tonio，likeaprinceinhispalace，greetinghisguests。White，jewelledbandssignalledhimfromeveryside。

Aglassofwinewiththisoneandthat，smilesforall，ajestandreparteeforanythatmightchallenge——trulyfewprincescouldbesoagreeableahost！

Andwhatartistcouldaskforfurtherappreciationofhishandiwork？KatydidnotknowthattheproudestconsummationofaNewYorker’sambitionistoshakebandswithaspaghettichefortoreceiveanodfromaBroadwayhead—waiter。

Atlastthecompanythinned，leaving’butafewcouplesandquartetteslingeringovernewwineandoldstories。AndthencameMr。BrunellitoKaty’ssecludedtable，anddrewachairclosetohers。

Katysmiledathimdreamily。ShewaseatingthelastspoonfulofaraspberryrollwithBurgundysauce。

"Youhaveseen！"saidMr。Brunelli，layingonehanduponhiscollarbone。"IamAntonioBrunelli！

Yes;Iamthegreat’Tonio！Youhavenotsuspectthat！Iloaveyou，Katy，andyoushallmarrywithme。Isitnotso？Callme’Antonio，’andsaythatyouwillbemine。"

Katy’sheaddroopedtotheshoulderthatwasnowfreedfromallsuspicionofhavingreceivedtheknightlyaccolade。

"Oh，Andy，"shesighed，"thisisgreat！Sure，I’llmarrywidye。Butwhydidn’tyetellmeyewasthecook？Iwasnearturnin’yedownforbein’oneofthimforeigncounts！"

FROMEACHACCORDINGTOHISABILITY

Vuyninglefthisclub，cursingitsoftly，withoutanyparticularanger。Fromteninthemorningun—

tilelevenithadboredhimimmeasurably。Kirkwithhisfishstory，BrookswithhisPortoRicocigars，oldMorrisonwithhisanecdoteaboutthewidow，Hep—

burnwithhisinvariableluckatbilliards——alltheseafflictionshadbeenrepeatedwithoutchangeofbillorscenery。BesidesthesemorningevilsMissAllisonhadrefusedhimagainonthenightbefore。Butthatwasachronictrouble。FivetimesshehadlaughedathisoffertomakeherMrs。Vuyning。HeintendedtoaskheragainthenextWednesdayevening。

VuyningwalkedalongForty—fourthStreettoBroadway，andthendrifteddownthegreatsluicethatwashesoutthedustofthegold—minesofGotham。

Heworeamorningsuitoflightgray，low，dullkidshoes，aplain，finelywovenstrawhat，andhisvisiblelinenwasthemostdelicatepossibleshadeofbelio—

trope。Hisnecktiewastheblue—grayofaNovem—

bersky，anditsknotwasplainlytheoutcomeofalordlycarelessnesscombinedwithanaccuratecon—

ceptionofthemostrecentdictumoffashion。

Now，towriteofaman’shaberdasheryisaworsethingthantowriteahistoricalnovel"around"

PaulJones，ortopenatestimonialtoahay—fevercure。

Therefore，letitbeknownthatthedescriptionofVuyning’sapparelisgermanetothemovementsofthestory，andnottomakeroomforthenewfallstockofgoods。

EvenBroadwaythatmorningwasadiscordinVuyning’sears;andinhiseyesitparalleledforafewdreamy，drearyminutesacertainhowling，scorching，seething，malodoroussliceofstreetthatherememberedinMorocco。Hesawthestrugglingmassofdogs，beggars，fakirs，slave—driversandveiledwomenincartswithouthorses，thesunblazingbrightlyamongthebazaars，thepilesofrubbishfromruinedtemplesinthestreet—andthenalady，passing，jabbedtheferruleofaparasolinhissideandbroughthimbacktoBroadway。

Fiveminutesofhisstrollbroughthimtoacertaincorner，whereanumberofsilent，pale—facedmenareaccustomedtostand，immovably，forhours，busywiththefilebladesoftheirpenknives，withtheirhatbrimsonalevelwiththeireyelids。WallStreetspeculators，drivinghomeintheircarriages，lovetopointoutthesementotheirvisitingfriendsandtellthemofthisratherfamouslounging—placeofthe"crooks。"OnWallStreetthespeculatorsneverusethefilebladesoftheirknives。

Vuyningwasdelightedwhenoneofthiscompanysteppedforthandaddressedhimashewaspassing。

Hewashungryforsomethingoutoftheordinary，andtobeaccostedbythissmooth—faced，keen—eyed，low—voiced，athleticmemberoftheunderworld，withhisgrim，yetpleasantsmile，hadallthetasteofanadventuretotheconvention—wearyVuyning。

"Excuseme，friend，"saidbe。"CouldIhaveafewminutes’talkwithyou——onthelevel？"

"Certainly，"saidVuyning，withasmile。"But，supposewestepasidetoaquieterplace。Thereisadivan——acafeoverherethatwilldo。Schrummwillgiveusaprivatecorner。"

Schrummestablishedthemunderagrowingpalm，withtwoseidlsbetweenthem。Vuyningmadeapleasantreferencetometeorologicalconditions，thusformingabingeuponwhichmightbeswungthedoorleadingfromthethoughtrepositoryoftheother。

"Inthefirstplace，"saidhiscompanion，withtheairofonewhopresentshiscredentials，"IwantyoutounderstandthatIamacrook。OutWestIamknownasRowdytheDude。Pickpocket，supperman，second—storyman，yeggman，boxman，all—roundbur—

glar，cardsharpandslickestconmanwestoftheTwenty—thirdStreetferrylanding——that’smyhis—

tory。That’stoshowI’monthesquare——withyou。

Myname’sEmerson。"

"ConfoundoldKirkwithhisfishstories"saidVuyningtohimself，withsilentgleeashewentthroughhispocketsforacard。"It’spronounced’Vining，’"hesaid，ashetosseditovertotheother。

"AndI’llbeasfrankwithyou。I’mjustakindofaloafer，Iguess，livingonmydaddy’smoney。Attheclubtheycallme’Left—at—the—Post。’Ineverdidaday’sworkinmylife;andIhaven’tthehearttorunoverachickenwhenI’mmotoring。It’saprettyshabbyrecord，altogether。"

"There’sonethingyoucando，"saidEmerson，admiringly;"youcancarryduds。I’vewatchedyouseveraltimespassonBroadway。YoulookthebestdressedmanI’veseen。AndI’llbetyouagoldmineI’vegot$50worthmoregent’sfurnishingsonmyframethanyouhave。That’swhatIwantedtoseeyouabout。Ican’tdothetrick。Takealookatme。What’swrong？"

"Standup，"saidVuyning。

Emersonarose，andslowlyrevolved。

"You’vebeen’outfitted，’"declaredtheclubman。

"SomeBroadwaywindow—dresserhasmisusedyou。"

"That’sanexpensivesuit，though，Emerson。"

"Ahundreddollars，"saidEmerson。

"Twentytoomuch，"saidVuyning。"Sixmonthsoldincut，oneinchtoolong，andhalfaninchto—

muchlapel。Yourhatisplainlydatedoneyearago，althoughthere’sonlyasixteenthofaninchlackinginthebrimtotellthestory。ThatEnglishpokeinyourcollaristooshortbythedistancebetweenTroyandLondon。Aplaingoldlinkcuff—buttonwouldtakealltheshineoutofthosepearloneswithdia—

mondsettings。ThosetanshoeswouldbeexactlythearticlestoworkintotheheartofaBrooklynschool—ma’amonatwoweeks’visittoLakeRonkon—

koma。IthinkIcaughtaglimpseofabluesilksockembroideredwithrussetliliesofthevalleywhenyou——improperly——drewupyourtrousersasyousatdown。Therearealwaysplainonestobehadinthestores。HaveIhurtyourfeelings，Emer—

son？"

"Doubletheante！"criedthecriticisedone，greed—

ily。"Givememoreofit。There’sawaytototethehaberdashery，andIwanttogetwisetoit。Say，you’retherightkindofaswell。Anythingelsetothequeeraboutme？"

"Yourtie，"saidVuyning，"istiedwithabsoluteprecisionandcorrectness。"

"Thanks，"gratefully——"IspentoverhalfanhouratitbeforeI——"

"Thereby，"interruptedVuyning，"completingyourresemblancetoadummyinaBroadwaystorewindow。"

"Yourstruly，"saidEmerson，sittingdownagain。

"It’sbullyofyoutoputmewise。Iknewtherewassomethingwrong，butIcouldn’tjustputmyfingeronit。Iguessitcomesbynaturetoknowhowtowearclothes。"

"Oh，Isuppose，"saidVuyning，withalaugh，"thatmyancestorspickeduptheknackwhiletheywerepeddlingclothesfromhousetohouseacoupleofhundredyearsago。I’mtoldtheydidthat。"

"Andmine，"saidEmerson，cheerfully，"weremakingtheirvisitsatnight，Iguess，anddidn’thaveachancetocatchontothecorrectstyles。"

"Itellyouwhat，"saidVuyning，whoseennuihadtakenwings，"I’lltakeyoutomytailor。He’lleliminatethemarkofthebeastfromyourexterior。

Thatis，ifyoucaretogoanyfurtherinthewayofexpense。"

"Play’emtotheceiling，"saidEmerson，withaboyishsmileofjoy。"I’vegotarollasbigaroundasabarrelofblack—eyedpeasandaslooseasthewrapperofatwo—for—fiver。Idon’tmindtellingyouthatIwasnottouringamongtheAntipodeswhentheburglar—proofsafeoftheFarmers’NationalBankofButterville，Ia。，flewopensomemoonlessnightsagotothetuneof$16，000。"

"Aren’tyouafraid，"askedVuyning，"thatI’llcallacopandhandyouover？"

"Youtellme，"saidEmerson，coolly，"whyI

didn’tkeepthem。"

HelaidVuyning’spocketbookandwatch——theVuyning100—year—oldfamilywatchonthetable。

"Man，"saidVuyning，revelling，"didyoueverhearthetaleKirktellsaboutthesix—poundtroutandtheoldfisherman？"

"Seemsnot，"saidEmerson，politely。"I’dliketo。"

"Butyouwon’t，"saidVuyning。"I’vehearditscoresoftimes。That’swhyIwon’ttellyou。Iwasjustthinkinghowmuchbetterthisisthanaclub。

Now，shallwegotomytailor？"

"Boys，andelderlygents，"saidVuyning，fivedayslaterathisclub，standingupagainstthewindowwherehiscoteriewasgathered，andkeepingoutthebreeze，"afriendofminefromtheWestwilldineatourtablethisevening。"

"WillheaskifwehaveheardthelatestfromDenver？"saidamember，squirminginhischair。

"Willhementionthenewtwenty—three—storyMa—

sonicTemple，inQuincy，Ill。？"inquiredanother，droppinghisnose—glasses。

"WillhespringoneofthoseWesternMississippiRivercatfishstories，inwhichtheyuseyearlingcalvesforbait？"demandedKirk，fiercely。

"Becomforted，"saidVuyning。"Hehasnoneofthelittlevices。Heisaburglarandsafe—blower，andapalofmine。"

"Oh，MaryAnn！"saidthey。"Mustyoualwaysadorneverystatementwithyourallegedhumor？"

Itcametopassthatateightintheeveningacalm，smooth，brilliant，affablemansatatVuyning’srighthandduringdinner。AndwhentheoneswhopasstheirlivesincitystreetsspokeofskyscrapersorofthelittleCzaronhisfar，frozenthrone，orofinsig—

nificantfishfrominconsequentialstreams，thisbig，deep—chestedman，faultlesslyclothed，andeyedlikeanEmperor，disposedoftheirLilliputianchatterwithawinkofhiseyelash。

Andthenhepaintedforthemwithhard，broadstrokesamarvellouslingualpanoramaoftheWest。

Hestackedsnow—toppedmountainsonthetable，freezingthehotdishesofthewaitingdiners。Withawaveofhishandheswepttheclubhouseintoapine—crownedgorge，turningthewaitersintoagrimposse，andeachlistenerintoablood—stainedfugitive，climbingwithtornfingersupontheensanguinedrocks。Hetouchedthetableandspake，andthefivepantedastheygazedonbarrenlavabeds，andeachmantookhistonguebetweenhisteethandfelthismouthbakeatthetaleofalandemptyofwaterandfood。AssimplyasHomersang，whilehedugatineofhisforkleisurelyintothetablecloth，heopenedanewworldtotheirview，asdoesonewhotellsachildoftheLooking—GlassCountry。

AsoneofhislistenersmighthavespokenofteatoostrongataMadisonSquare"afternoon，"sohedepictedtheravagesofredeyeinabordertownwhenthecaballerosofthelariatand"forty—five"

reducedennuitoaminimum。

Andthen，withasweepofhiswhite，unringedhands，bedismissedMelpomene，andforthwithDianaandAmaryllisfooteditbeforethemind’seyesoftheclubmen。

Thesavannasofthecontinentspreadbeforethem。

Thewind，hummingthroughahundredleaguesofsagebrushandmesquite，closedtheirearstothecity’sstaccatonoises。Hetoldthemofcamps，ofranchesmaroonedinaseaoffragrantprairieblos—

soms，ofgallopsinthestillynightthatApollowouldhaveforsakenhisdaytimesteedstoenjoy;hereadthemthegreat，roughepicofthecattleandthehillsthathavenotbeenspoiledbythebandofman，themason。Hiswordswereatelescopetothecitymen，whoseeyeshadlookeduponYoungstown，O。，andwhosetongueshadcalledit"West。"

Infact，Emersonhadthem"going。"

ThenextmorningattenhemetVuyning，byap—

pointment，ataForty—secondStreetcafe。

EmersonwastoleavefortheWestthatday。HeworeasuitofdarkcheviotthatlookedtohavebeendrapeduponhimbyanancientGreciantailorwhowasafewthousandyearsaheadofthestyles。

"Mr。Vuyning，"saidhe，withtheclear，ingenuoussmileofthesuccessful"crook，"it’suptometogothelimitforyouanytimeIcandoso。You’retherealthing;andifIcaneverreturnthefavor，youbetyourlifeI’lldoit。"

"Whatwasthatcow—puncher’sname？"askedVuyning，"whousedtocatchamustangbythenoseandmane，andthrowhimtillheputthebridleon？"

"Bates，"saidEmerson。

"Thanks，"saidVuyning。"IthoughtitwasYates。Oh，aboutthattoggerybusiness——I’dfor—

gottenthat。"

"I’vebeenlookingforsomeguytoputmeontherighttrackforyears，"saidEmerson。"You’rethegoods，dutyfree，andhalf—waytothewarehouseinaredwagon。"

"Bacon，toastedonagreenwillowswitchoverredcoals，oughttoputbroiledlobstersoutofbusiness，"

saidVuyning。"Andyousayahorseattheendofathirty—footropecan’tpullaten—inchstakeoutofwetprairie？Well，good—bye，oldman，ifyoumustbeoff。"

Atoneo’clockVuyninghadluncheonwithMissAllisonbypreviousarrangement。

Forthirtyminutesbebabbledtoher，unaccount—

ably，ofranches，horses，cations，cyclones，round—ups，RockyMountainsandbeansandbacon。Shelookedathimwithwonderingandhalf—terrifiedeyes。

"Iwasgoingtoproposeagainto—day，"saidVuy—

ning，cheerily，butIwon’t。I’veworriedyouoftenenough。YouknowdadhasaranchinColorado。

What’sthegoodofstayinghere？Jumpingjon—

quils！butit’sgreatoutthere。I’mgoingtostartnextTuesday。"

"No，youwon’t，"saidMissAllison。

"What？"saidVuyning。

"Notalone，"saidMissAllison，droppingatearuponhersalad。"Whatdoyouthink？"

"Betty！"exclaimedVuyning，"whatdoyoumean？

"I’llgotoo，"saidMissAllison，forcibly。

VuyningfilledherglasswithApollinaris。

"Here’stoRowdytheDude！"hegave——atoastmysterious。

"Don’tknowhim，"saidMissAllison;"butifhe’syourfriend，Jimmy——heregoes！"

THEMEMENTO

MissLynnetteD’ArmandeturnedherbackonBroadway。Thiswasbuttitfortat，be—

causeBroadwayhadoftendonethesamethingtoMissD’Armande。Still，the"tats"seemedtohaveit，fortheex—leadingladyofthe"ReapingtheWhirlwind"companyhadeverythingtoaskofBroadway，whiletherewasnovice—versa。

SoMissLynnetteD’ArmandeturnedthebackofherchairtoherwindowthatoverlookedBroadway，andsatdowntostitchintimethelisle—threadheelofablacksilkstocking。ThetumultandglitteroftheroaringBroadwaybeneathherwindowhadnocharmforher;whatshegreatlydesiredwasthestiflingairofadressing—roomonthatfairylandstreetandtheroarofanaudiencegatheredinthatcapriciousquarter。Inthemeantime，thosestock—

ingsmustnotbeneglected。Silkdoeswearoutso，but——afterall，isn’titjusttheonlygoodsthereis？

TheHotelThalialooksonBroadwayasMarathonlooksonthesea。Itstandslikeagloomycliffabovethewhirlpoolwherethetidesoftwogreatthorough—

faresclash。Heretheplayer—bandsgatherattheendoftheirwanderings，toloosenthebuskinanddustthesock。Thickinthestreetsarounditarebooking—

offices，theatres，agents，schools，andthelobster—pal—

acestowhichthosethornypathslead。

WanderingthroughtheeccentrichallsofthedimandfustyThalia，youseemtohavefoundyourselfinsomegreatarkorcaravanabouttosail，orfly，orrollawayonwheels。Aboutthehouselingersasenseofunrest，ofexpectation，oftransientness，evenofanxietyandapprehension。Thehallsarealabyrinth。

Withoutaguide，youwanderlikealostsoulinaSamLoydpuzzle。

Turninganycorner，adressing—sackoracul—de—sacmaybringyouupshort。Youmeetalarmingtragediansstalkinginbath—robesinsearchofru—

moredbathrooms。Fromhundredsofroomscomethebuzzoftalk，scrapsofnewandoldsongs，andthereadylaughteroftheconvenedplayers。

Summerhascome;theircompanieshavedisbanded，andtheytaketheirrestintheirfavoritecaravansary，whiletheybesiegethemanagersforengagementsforthecomingseason。

Atthishouroftheafternoontheday’sworkoftrampingtheroundsoftheagents’officesisover。

Pastyou，asyourambledistractedlythroughthemossyhalls，flitaudiblevisionsofhouris，withveiled，starryeyes，flyingtag—endsofthingsandaswishofsilk，bequeathingtothedullhallwaysanodorofgaietyandamemoryoffrangipanni。Seriousyoungcomedians，withversatileAdam’sapples，gatherindoorwaysandtalkofBooth。Far—reachingfromsomewherecomesthesmellofhamandredcabbage，andthecrashofdishesontheAmericanplan。

TheindeterminatehumoflifeintheThaliaisenlivenedbythediscreetpopping——atreasonableandsalubriousintervals——ofbeer—bottlecorks。

Thuspunctuated，lifeinthegenialhostelscanseasily——thecommabeingthefavoritemark，semicolonsfrownedupon，andperiodsbarred。

MissD’Armannde’sroomwasasmallone。Therewasroomforherrockerbetweenthedresserandthewash—standifitwereplacedlongitudinally。Onthedresserwereitsusualaccoutrements，plustheex—lead—

inglady’scollectedsouvenirsofroadengagementsandphotographsofherdearestandbestprofessionalfriends。

Atoneofthesephotographsshelookedtwiceorthriceasshedarned，andsmiledfriendlily。

"I’dliketoknowwhereLeeisjustthisminute，"

shesaid，half—aloud。

Ifyouhadbeenprivilegedtoviewthephotographthusflattered，youwouldhavethoughtatthefirstglancethatyousawthepictureofamany—petalledwhiteflower，blownthroughtheairbyastorm。Butthefloralkingdomwasnotresponsibleforthatswirlofpetalouswhiteness。

Yousawthefilmy，briefskirtofMissRosalieRayasshemadeacompleteheels—over—headturninherwistaria—entwinedswing，faroutfromthestage，highabovetheheadsoftheaudience。Yousawthecam—

era’sinadequaterepresentationofthegraceful，strongkick，withwhichshe，atthisexcitingmoment，sentflying，highandfar，theyellowsilkgarterthateacheveningspunfromheragilelimbanddescendeduponthedelightedaudiencebelow。

Yousaw，too，amidtheblack—clothed，mainlymas—

culinepatronsofselectvaudevilleahundredhandsraisedwiththehopeofstayingtheflightofthebril—

liantaerialtoken。

FortyweeksofthebestcircuitsthisacthadbroughtMissRosalieRay，foreachoftwoyears。

Shedidotherthingsduringhertwelveminutes——asonganddance，imitationsoftwoorthreeactorswhoarebutimitationsofthemselves，andabalancingfeatwithastep—ladderandfeather—duster;butwhentheblossom—deckedswingwasletdownfromtheflies，andMissRosaliesprangsmilingintotheseat，withthegoldencircletconspicuousintheplacewhenceitwassoontoslideandbecomeasoaringandcovetedguerdon——thenitwasthattheaudienceroseinitsseatasasingleman——orpresumablyso——andin—

dorsedthespecialtythatmadeMissRay’snameafavoriteinthebooking—offices。

AttheendofthetwoyearsMissRaysuddenlyan—

nouncedtoherdearfriend，MissD’Armande，thatshewasgoingtospendthesummeratanantediluvianvillageonthenorthshoreofLongIsland，andthatthestagewouldseehernomore。

SeventeenminutesafterMissLynnetteD’Armandehadexpressedherwishtoknowthewhereaboutsofheroldchum，thereweresharprapsatherdoor。

DoubtnotthatitwasRosalieRay。Attheshrillcommandtoentershedidso，withsomethingofatiredflutter，anddroppedaheavyhand—bagonthefloor。Uponmyword，itwasRosalie，inaloose，travel—stainedautomobilelesscoat，closelytiedbrownveilwithyard—long，flyingends，graywalking—suitandtanoxfordswithlavenderovergaiters。

Whenshethrewoffherveilandhat，yousawaprettyenoughface，nowflushedanddisturbedbysomeunusualemotion，andrestless，largeeyeswithdiscontentmarringtheirbrightness。Aheavypileofdullauburnhair，hastilyputup，wasescapingincrinkly，wavingstrandsandcurling，smalllocksfromtheconfiningcombsandpins。

Themeetingofthetwowasnotmarkedbytheeffusionvocal，gymnastical，osculatoryandcatecheti—

calthatdistinguishesthegreetingsoftheirunpro—

fessionalsistersinsociety。Therewasabriefclinch，twosimultaneouslabialdabsandtheystoodonthesamefootingoftheolddays。Verymuchliketheshortsalutationsofsoldiersoroftravellersinfor—

eignwildsarethewelcomesbetweenthestrollersatthecornersoftheircrisscrossroads。

"I’vegotthehall—roomtwoflightsupaboveyours，"saidRosalie，"butIcamestraighttoseeyoubeforegoingup。Ididn’tknowyouwereheretilltheytoldme。"

"I’vebeeninsincethelastofApril，"saidLyn—

nette。"AndI’mgoingontheroadwitha’FatalInheritance’company。WeopennextweekinEliz—

abeth。Ithoughtyou’dquitthestage，Lee。Tellmeaboutyourself。"

RosaliesettledherselfwithaskilfulwriggleonthetopofMissD’Armande’swardrobetrunk，andleanedherheadagainstthepaperedwall。Fromlonghabit，thuscanperipateticleadingladiesandtheirsistersmakethemselvesascomfort。

ableasthoughthedeepestarmchairsembracedthem。

"I’mgoingtotellyou，Lynn，"shesaid，withastrangelysardonicandyetcarelesslyresignedlookonheryouthfulface。"Andthento—morrowI’llstriketheoldBroadwaytrailagain，andwearsomemorepaintoffthechairsintheagents’offices。Ifanybodyhadtoldmeanytimeinthelastthreemonthsuptofouro’clockthisafternoonthatI’deverlistentothat’Leave—your—name—and—address’rotofthebookingbunchagain，I’dhavegiven’emtherealMrs。

Fiskelaugh。Loanmeahandkerchief，Lynn。Gee！

butthoseLongIslandtrainsarefierce。I’vegotenoughsoft—coalcindersonmyfacetogoonandplayTopsywithoutusingthecork。And，speakingofcorks——gotanythingtodrink，Lynn？"

MissD’Armandeopenedadoorofthewash—standandtookoutabottle。

"There’snearlyapintofManhattan。There’saclusterofcarnationsinthedrinkingglass，but——"

"Oh，passthebottle。Savetheglassforcom—

pany。Thanks！Thathitsthespot。Thesametoyou。Myfirstdrinkinthreemonths！"

"Yes，Lynn，Iquitthestageattheendoflastseason。IquititbecauseIwassickofthelife。Andespeciallybecausemyheartandsoulweresickofmenofthekindofmenwestagepeoplehavetobeupagainst。Youknowwhatthegameistous——it’safightagainst’emallthewaydownthelinefromthemanagerwhowantsustotryhisnewmotor—cartothebill—posterswhowanttocallusbyourfrontnames。

"Andthemenwehavetomeetaftertheshowaretheworstofall。Thestage—doorkind，andtheman—

ager’sfriendswhotakeustosupperandshowtheirdiamondsandtalkaboutseeing’Dan’and’Dave’

and’Charlie’forus。They’rebeasts，andIhate’em。

"Itellyou，Lynn，it’sthegirlslikeusonthestagethatoughttobepitied。It’sgirlsfromgoodhomesthatarehonestlyambitiousandworkhardtoriseintheprofession，butneverdogetthere。Youbearalotofsympathysloshedaroundonchorusgirlsandtheirfifteendollarsaweek。Piffle！Thereain’tasorrowinthechorusthatalobstercannotheal。

"Ifthere’sanytearstoshed，let’emfallfortheactressthatgetsasalaryoffromthirtytoforty—fivedollarsaweekfortakingaleadingpartinabumshow。Sheknowsshe’llneverdoanybetter;butshehangsonforyears，hopingforthe’chanceIthatnevercomes。

"Andthefoolplayswehavetoworkin！Havinganothergirlrollyouaroundthestagebythehindlegsina’WheelbarrowChorus’inamusicalcomedyisdignifieddramacomparedwiththeidioticthingsI’vehadtodointhethirty—centers。

"ButwhatIhatedmostwasthemen——themenleeringandblatheringatyouacrosstables，tryingtobuyyouwithWurzburgerorExtraDry，accord—

ingtotheirestimateofyourprice。Andthemenintheaudiences，clapping，yelling，snarling，crowding，writhing，gloating——likealotofwildbeasts，withtheireyesfixedonyou，readytoeatyouupifyoucomeinreachoftheirclaws。Oh，howIhate’em！

"Well，I’mnottellingyoumuchaboutmyself，amI，Lynn？

"Ihadtwohundreddollarssavedup，andIcutthestagethefirstofthesummer。IwentoveronLongIslandandfoundthesweetestlittlevillagethateverwas，calledSoundport，rightonthewater。Iwasgoingtospendthesummerthere，andstudyuponelocution，andtrytogetaclassinthefall。Therewasanoldwidowladywithacottagenearthebeachwhosometimesrentedaroomortwojustforcom—

pany，andshetookmein。Shehadanotherboarder，too——theReverendArthurLyle。

"Yes，hewasthehead—liner。You’reon，Lynn。

I’lltellyouallofitinaminute。It’sonlyaone—actplay。

"Thefirsttimehewalkedon，Lynn，Ifeltmyselfgoing;thefirstlineshespoke，hehadme。Hewasdifferentfromthemeninaudiences。Hewastallandslim，andyouneverheardhimcomeintheroom，butyoufelthim。Hehadafacelikeapictureofaknight——likeoneofthatRoundTablebunch——andavoicelikea’cellosolo。Andhismanners！

"Lynn，ifyou’dtakeJohnDrewinhisbestdraw—

ing—roomsceneandcomparethetwo，you’dhaveJohnarrestedfordisturbingthepeace。

"I’llspareyoutheparticulars;butinlessthanamonthArthurandIwereengaged。Hepreachedatalittleone—nightstandofaMethodistchurch。Therewastobeaparsonagethesizeofalunch—wagon，andhensandhoneysuckleswhenweweremarried。Ar—

thurusedtopreachtomeagooddealaboutHeaven，butbenevercouldgetmymindquiteoffthosehoney—

sucklesandhens。

"No;Ididn’ttellhimI’dbeenonthestage。I

hatedthebusinessandallthatwentwithit;I’dcutitoutforever，andIdidn’tseeanyuseofstirringthingsup。Iwasagoodgirl，andIdidn’thaveany—

thingtoconfess，exceptbeinganelocutionist，andthatwasaboutallthestrainmyconsciencewouldstand。

"Oh，Itellyou，Lynn，Iwashappy。Isanginthechoirandattendedthesewingsociety，andre—

citedthat’AnnieLaurie’thingwiththewhistlingstuntinit，’inamannerborderingupontheprofes—

sional，’astheweeklyvillagepaperreportedit。AndArthurandIwentrowing，andwalkinginthewoods，andclamming，andthatpokylittlevillageseemedtomethebestplaceintheworld。I’dhavebeenhappytolivetherealways，too，if——

"ButonemorningoldMrs。Gurley，thewidowlady，gotgossipywhileIwashelpingherstringbeansonthebackporch，andbegantogushinformation，asfolkswhorentouttheirroomsusuallydo。Mr。Lylewasherideaofasaintonearth——ashewasmine，too。Shewentoverallhisvirtuesandgraces，andwoundupbytellingmethatArthurhadhadanex—

tremelyromanticlove—affair，notlongbefore，thathadendedunhappily。Shedidn’tseemtobeontothede—

tails，butsheknewthathehadbeenhitprettyhard。

Hewaspalerandthinner，shesaid，andhehadsomekindofaremembranceorkeepsakeoftheladyinalittlerosewoodboxthathekeptlockedinhisdeskdrawerinhisstudy。

"’Severaltimes，"saysshe，"I’veseenhimgloomerin’overthatboxofevenings，andhealwayslocksituprightawayifanybodycomesintotheroom。’

"Well，youcanimaginehowlongitwasbeforeI

gotArthurbythewristandledhimdownstageandhissedinhisear。

"Thatsameafternoonwewerelazyingaroundinaboatamongthewater—liliesattheedgeofthebay。

"’Arthur，’saysI，’younevertoldmeyou’dhadanotherlove—affair。ButMrs。Gurleydid，’Iwenton，tolethimknowIknew。Ihatetobearamanlie。

"’Beforeyoucame，’sayshe，lookingmefranklyintheeye，’therewasapreviousaffection—astrongone。Sinceyouknowofit，Iwillbeperfectlycandidwithyou。’

"’Iamwaiting，’saysI。

"’MydearIda，’saysArthur——ofcourseIwentbymyrealname，whileIwasinSoundport——’thisformeraffectionwasaspiritualone，infact。Al—

thoughtheladyarousedmydeepestsentiments，andwas，asIthought，myidealwoman，Inevermether，andneverspoketoher。Itwasanideallove。Myloveforyou，whilenolessideal，isdifferent。Youwouldn’tletthatcomebetweenus。’

"’Wasshepretty？’iasked。

"’Shewasverybeautiful，’saidArthur。

"’Didyouseeheroften？’Iasked。

"’Somethinglikeadozentimes，’sayshe。

"’Alwaysfromadistance？’saysI。

"’Alwaysfromquiteadistance，’sayshe。

"’Andyoulovedher？’Iasked。

"’Sheseemedmyidealofbeautyandgrace——andsoul，"saysArthur。

"’Andthiskeepsakethatyoukeepunderlockandkey，andmoonoverattimes，isthataremembrancefromher？’

"’Amemento，’saysArthur，’thatIhavetreasured。’

"’Didshesendittoyou？’

"’Itcametomefromher’saysbe。

"’Inaroundaboutway？’Iasked。

"’Somewhatroundabout，’sayshe，’andyetratherdirect。’

"’Whydidn’tyouevermeether？’Iasked。

’Wereyourpositionsinlifesodifferent？’

"Shewasfaraboveme，’saysArthur。’Now，Ida，’hegoeson，’thisisallofthepast。You’renotgoingtobejealous，areyou？’

’Jealous！’saysI。’Why，man，whatareyoutalkingabout？ItmakesmethinktentimesasmuchofyouasIdidbeforeIknewaboutit。’

"Anditdid，Lynn—ifyoucanunderstandit。

Thatideallovewasanewoneonme，butitstruckmeasbeingthemostbeautifulandgloriousthingI’deverheardof。Thinkofamanlovingawomanhe’dneverevenspokento，andbeingfaithfuljusttowhathismindandheartpicturedher！Oh，itsoundedgreattome。ThemenI’dalwaysknowncomeatyouwitheitherdiamonds，knock—out—dropsoraraiseofsalary，——andtheirideals！——well，we’llsaynomore。"

"Yes，itmademethinkmoreofArthurthanIdidbefore。Icouldn’tbejealousofthatfar—awaydivin—

itythatheusedtoworship，forIwasgoingtohavehimmyself。AndIbegantolookuponhimasasaintonearth，justasoldladyGurleydid。

"Aboutfouro’clockthisafternoonamancametothehouseforArthurtogoandseesomebodythatwassickamonghischurchbunch。OldladyGurleywastakingherafternoonsnoreonacouch，sothatleftmeprettymuchalone。

"InpassingbyArthur’sstudyIlookedin，andsawhisbunchofkeyshanginginthedrawerofhisdesk，wherehe’dforgotten’em。Well，Iguesswe’realltotheMrs。Bluebeardnowandthen，ain’twe，Lynn？ImadeupmymindI’dhavealookatthatmementohekeptsosecret。NotthatIcaredwhatitwas——itwasjustcuriosity。

"WhileIwasopeningthedrawerIimaginedoneortwothingsitmightbe。Ithoughtitmightbeadriedrosebudshe’ddroppeddowntohimfromabalcony，ormaybeapictureofherhe’dcutoutofamagazine，shebeingsohighupintheworld。

"Iopenedthedrawer，andtherewastherosewoodcasketaboutthesizeofagent’scollarbox。Ifoundthelittlekeyinthebunchthatfittedit，andunlockeditandraisedthelid。

"Itookonelookatthatmemento，andthenIwenttomyroomandpackedmytrunk。Ithrewafewthingsintomygrip，gavemyhairaflirtortwowithaside—comb，putonmyhat，andwentinandgavetheoldlady’sfootakick。I’dtriedawfullyhardtouseproperandcorrectlanguagewhileIwasthereforArthur’ssake，andIhadthehabitdownpat，butitleftmethen。

"Stopsawinggourds，"saysI，"andsitupandtakenotice。Theghost’sabouttowalk。I’mgoingawayfromhere，andIoweyoueightdollars。Theexpressmanwillcallformytrunk。’

"Ihandedherthemoney。

"’Dearme，MissCrosby！’saysshe。’Isany—

thingwrong？Ithoughtyouwerepleasedhere。

Dearme，youngwomenaresohardtounderstand，andsodifferentfromwhatyouexpect’emtobe。’

"’You’redamnright，’saysI。’Someof’emare。

Butyoucan’tsaythataboutmen。Whenyouknowonemanyouknow’emall！Thatsettlesthehuman—

racequestion。’

"AndthenIcaughtthefour—thirty—eight，soft—

coalunlimited;andhereIam。"

"Youdidn’ttellmewhatwasinthebox，Lee，"saidMissD’armande，anxiously。

"OneofthoseyellowsilkgartersthatIusedtokickoffmylegintotheaudienceduringthatoldvaudevilleswingactofmine。Isthereanyofthecocktailleft，Lynn？"