第5章

thatsheinvariablywentonwithherworkheedlessofhispresence，andineverythingtreatedhimasifshehadbeenhisequal。Shepersistedintalkingwithhiminahalfsisterlyfashionabouthisstudiesandhisfuturecareer，warnedhimwithgreatsolicitudeagainstsomeofhisreprobatefriends，ofwhosemerryadventureshehadtoldher;andifheventuredtocomplimentheronherbeautyorheraccomplishments，shewouldlookupgravelyfromhersewing，oranswerhiminawaywhichseemedtobanishtheideaoflove—makingintothelandoftheimpossible。Hewasconstantlytormentedbythesuspicionthatshesecretlydisapprovedofhim，andthatfromameremoralinterestinhiswelfareshewasconscientiouslylaboringtomakehimabetterman。Dayafterdayhepartedfromherfeelinghumiliated，faint—hearted，andsecretlyindignantbothathimselfandher，anddayafterdayhereturnedonlytorenewthesameexperience。Atlastitbecametoointolerable，hecouldendureitnolonger。Letitmakeorbreak，certainty，atallrisks，wasatleastpreferabletothissickeningsuspense。Thathelovedher，hecouldnolongerdoubt;lethisparentsfoamandfretasmuchastheypleased;

foroncehewasgoingtostandonhisownlegs。

Andintheend，hethought，theywouldhavetoyield，fortheyhadnosonbuthim。

Berthawasgoingtoreturntoherhomeonthesea—coastinaweek。Ralphstoodinthelittlelow—ceiledparlor，assheimagined，tobidhergood—bye。Theyhadbeenspeakingofherfather，herbrothers，andthefarm，andshehadexpressedthewishthatifheevershouldcometothatpartofthecountryhemightpaythemavisit。Herwordshadkindledavaguehopeinhisbreast，butintheirveryfranknessandfriendlyregardtherewassomethingwhichslewthehopetheyhadbegotten。Heheldherhandinhis，andherlargeconfidingeyesshonewithanemotionwhichwasbeautiful，butwasyetnotlove。

"Ifyouwerebutapeasantbornlikemyself，"

saidshe，inavoicewhichsoundedalmosttender，"thenIshouldliketotalktoyouasIwouldtomyownbrother;but——"

"No，notbrother，Bertha，"criedhe，withsuddenvehemence;"IloveyoubetterthanIeverlovedanyearthlybeing，andifyouknewhowfirmlythislovehasclutchedattherootsofmyheart，youwouldperhaps——youwouldatleastnotlooksoreproachfullyatme。"

Shedroppedhishand，andstoodforamomentsilent。

"Iamsorrythatitshouldhavecometothis，Mr。Grim，"saidshe，visiblystrugglingforcalmness。"AndIamperhapsmoretoblamethanyou。"

"Blame，"mutteredhe，"whyareyoutoblame？"

"BecauseIdonotloveyou;althoughIsometimesfearedthatthismightcome。ButthenagainIpersuadedmyselfthatitcouldnotbeso。"

Hetookasteptowardthedoor，laidhishandontheknob，andgazeddownbeforehim。

"Bertha，"beganhe，slowly，raisinghishead，"youhavealwaysdisapprovedofme，youhavedespisedmeinyourheart，butyouthoughtyouwouldbedoingagoodworkifyousucceededinmakingamanofme。"

"Youusestronglanguage，"answeredshe，hesitatingly;"butthereistruthinwhatyousay。"

Againtherewasalongpause，inwhichthetickingoftheoldparlorclockgrewlouderandlouder。

"Then，"hebrokeoutatlast，"tellmebeforewepartifIcandonothingtogain——Iwillnotsayyourlove——butonlyyourregard？Whatwouldyoudoifyouwereinmyplace？"

"Myadviceyouwillhardlyheed，andIdonotevenknowthatitwouldbewellifyoudid。

ButifIwereamaninyourposition，Ishouldbreakwithmywholepast，startoutintotheworldwherenobodyknewme，andwhereI

shouldbedependentonlyuponmyownstrength，andthereIwouldconqueraplaceformyself，ifitwereonlyforthesatisfactionofknowingthatIwasreallyaman。Herecushionsaresewedunderyourarms，ahundredinvisiblethreadsbindyoutoalifeofidlenessandvanity，everybodyisreadytocarryyouonhishands，theroadissmoothedforyou，everystonecarefullymovedoutofyourpath，andyouwillprobablygotoyourgravewithouthavingeverharboredoneearnestthought，withouthavingdoneonemanlydeed。"

Ralphstoodtransfixed，gazingatherwithopenmouth;hefeltakindofstupidfright，asifsomeonehadsuddenlyseizedhimbytheshouldersandshakenhimviolently。HetriedvainlytoremovehiseyesfromBertha。Sheheldhimasbyapowerfulspell。Hesawthatherfacewaslightedwithanaltogethernewbeauty;henoticedthedeepglowuponhercheek，thebrilliancyofhereye，theslightquiverofherlip。Buthesawallthisasoneseesthingsinahalf—trance，withoutattemptingtoaccountforthem;thedoorbetweenhissoulandhissenseswasclosed。

"IknowthatIhavebeenboldinspeakingtoyouinthisway，"shesaidatlast，seatingherselfinachairatthewindow。"Butitwasyourselfwhoaskedme。AndIhavefeltallthetimethatIshouldhavetotellyouthisbeforeweparted。"

"And，"answeredhe，makingastrongefforttoappearcalm，"ifIfollowyouradvice，willyouallowmetoseeyouoncemorebeforeyougo？"

"Ishallremainhereanotherweek，andshall，duringthattime，alwaysbereadytoreceiveyou。"

"Thankyou。Good—bye。"

"Good—bye。"

Ralphcarefullyavoidedallthefashionablethoroughfares;hefeltdegradedbeforehimself，andhehadanideathateverymancouldreadhishumiliationinhiscountenance。Nowhewalkedonquickly，strikingthesidewalkwithhisheels;now，again，hefellintoanuneasy，recklesssaunter，accordingasthechangingmoodsinspireddefianceofhissentence，oraqualifiedsurrender。And，ashewalkedon，thebitternessgrewwithinhim，andhepitilesslyreviledhimselfforhavingallowedhimselftobemadeafoolofby"thatlittlecountrygoose，"

whenhewaswellawarethattherewerehundredsofwomenofthebestfamiliesofthelandwhowouldfeelhonoredatreceivinghisattentions。

Butthissortofreasoningheknewtohebothweakandcontemptible，andhisbetterselfsoonroseinloudrebellion。

"Afterall，"hemuttered，"inthemainthingshewasright。Iamamiserablegood—for—

nothing，ahot—houseplant，apoorstick，andifI

wereawomanmyself，Idon’tthinkIshouldwastemyaffectionsonamanofthatcalibre。"

ThenheunconsciouslyfelltoanalyzingBertha’scharacter，wonderingvaguelythatapersonwhomovedsotimidlyinsociallife，appearingsodiffident，fromanever—presentfearofblunderingagainsttheestablishedformsofetiquette，couldjudgesoquickly，andwithsuchamercilesscertainty，wheneveramoralquestion，aquestionofrightandwrong，wasatissue。

And，pursuingthesametrainofthought，hecontrastedherwithhimself，whomovedinthehighestspheresofsocietyasinhisnativeelement，heedlessofmoralscruples，andconsciousofnoloftiermotiveforhisactionsthantheimmediatepleasureofthemoment。

AsRalphturnedthecornerofastreet，heheardhimselfhailedfromtheothersidewalkbyachorusofmerryvoices。

"Ah，mydearBaroness，"criedayoungman，springingacrossthestreetandgraspingRalph’shand（allhisstudentfriendscalledhimtheBaroness），"inthenameofthisillustriouscompany，allowmetosaluteyou。Butwhythedeuce——whatisthematterwithyou？IfyouhavetheKatzenjammer，[7]soda—wateristhething。Comealong，——it’smytreat！"

[7]Katzenjammeristhesensationamanhasthemorningafteracarousal。

ThestudentsinstantlythrongedaroundRalph，whostooddistractedlyswinginghiscaneandsmilingidiotically。

"Iamnotquitewell，"saidhe;"leavemealone。"

"No，tobesure，youdon’tlookwell，"criedajollyyouth，againstwhomBerthahadfrequentlywarnedhim;"butaglassofsherrywillsoonrestoreyou。Itwouldbehighlyimmoraltoleaveyouinthisconditionwithouttakingcareofyou。"

Ralphagainvainlytriedtoremonstrate;buttheendwas，thathereluctantlyfollowed。

Hehadalwaysbeenaconspicuousfigureinthestudentworld;butthatnightheastonishedhisfriendsbyhiseloquence，hisrecklesshumor，andhiscapacityfordrinking。Hemadeaspeechfor"Woman，"whichbristledwithwit，cynicism，andsarcasticepigrams。Oneyoungman，namedVinter，whowasengaged，undertooktoprotestagainsthissweepingcondemnation，anddeclaredthatRalph，whowasaUniversalfavoriteamongtheladies，oughttobethelasttorevilethem。

"If，"hewenton，"theBaronessshouldproposetosixwell—knownladieshereinthiscitywhomIcouldmention，IwouldwagersixJohannisbergers，andanequalamountofchampagne，thateveryoneofthemwouldaccepthim。"

Theothersloudlyapplaudedthisproposal，andRalphacceptedthewager。Theletterswerewrittenonthespot，andimmediatelydispatched。

Towardmorning，themerrycarousalbrokeup，andRalphwasconductedintriumphtohishome。

III。

Twodayslater，RalphagainknockedonBertha’sdoor。Helookedpalerthanusual，almosthaggard;hisimmaculatelinenwasalittlecrumpled，andhecarriednocane;hislipsweretightlycompressed，andhisfaceworeanairofdesperateresolution。

"Itisdone，"hesaid，asheseatedhimselfoppositeher。"Iamgoing。"

"Going！"criedshe，startledathisunusualappearance。"How，where？"

"ToAmerica。Isailto—night。Ihavefollowedyouradvice，yousee。Ihavecutoffthelastbridgebehindme。"

"But，Ralph，"sheexclaimed，inavoiceofalarm。"Somethingdreadfulmusthavehappened。

Tellmequick;Imustknowit。"

"No;nothingdreadful，"mutteredhe，smilingbitterly。"Ihavemadealittlescandal，thatisall。Myfathertoldmeto—daytogotothedevil，ifIchose，andmymothergavemefivehundreddollarstohelpmealongontheway。

Ifyouwishtoknow，hereistheexplanation。"

Andhepulledfromhispocketsixperfumedandcarefullyfoldednotes，andthrewthemintoherlap。

"Doyouwishmetoreadthem？"sheasked，withgrowingsurprise。

"Certainly。Whynot？"

Shehastilyopenedonenoteaftertheother，andread。

"But，Ralph，"shecried，springingupfromherseat，whilehereyesflamedwithindignation，"whatdoesthismean？Whathaveyoudone？"

"Ididn’tthinkitneededanyexplanation，"

repliedhe，withfeignedindifference。"I

proposedtothemall，and，yousee，theyallacceptedme。Ireceivedalltheselettersto—day。

IonlywishedtoknowwhetherthewholeworldregardedmeassuchaworthlessscampasyoutoldmeIwas。"

Shedidnotanswer，butsatmutelystaringathim，fiercelycrumplingarose—colorednoteinherhand。Hebegantofeeluncomfortableunderhergaze，andthrewhimselfaboutuneasilyinhischair。

"Well，"saidhe，atlength，rising，"Isupposethereisnothingmore。Good—bye。"

"Onemoment，Mr。Grim，"demandedshe，sternly。"SinceIhavealreadysaidsomuch，andyouhaveobliginglyrevealedtomeanewsideofyourcharacter，IclaimtherighttocorrecttheopinionIexpressedofyouatourlastmeeting。"

"Iamallattention。"

"Ididthink，Mr。Grim，"beganshe，breathinghard，andsteadyingherselfagainstthetableatwhichshestood，"thatyouwereaveryselfishman——anembodimentofselfishness，absoluteandsupreme，butIdidnotbelievethatyouwerewicked。"

"AndwhatconvincedyouthatIwasselfish，ifImayask？"

"Whatconvincedme？"repeatedshe，inatoneofinexpressiblecontempt。"Whendidyoueveractfromanygenerousregardforothers？Whatgooddidyoueverdotoanybody？"

"Youmightask，withequaljustice，whatgoodIeverdidtomyself。"

"Inacertainsense，yes;becausetogratifyameremomentarywishishardlydoingone’sselfgood。"

"ThenIhave，atallevents，followedtheBiblicalprecept，andtreatedmyneighborverymuchasItreatmyself。"

"Ididthink，"continuedBertha，withoutheedingtheremark，"thatyouwereatbottomkind—hearted，buttoohopelesslywell—bredevertocommitanactofanydecidedcomplexion，eithergoodorbad。NowIseethatIhavemisjudgedyou，andthatyouarecapableofoutragingthemostsacredfeelingsofawoman’sheartinmerewantonness，orforthesakeofsatisfyingabasecuriosity，whichnevercouldhaveenteredthemindofanuprightandgenerousman。"

Thehard，benumbedlookinRalph’sfacethawedinthewarmthofherpresence，andherwords，thoughstern，touchedasecretspringinhisheart。Hemadetwoorthreevainattemptstospeak，thensuddenlybrokedown，andcried：

"Bertha，Bertha，evenifyouscornme，havepatiencewithme，andlisten。"

Andhetoldher，inrapid，brokensentences，howhisloveforherhadgrownfromdaytoday，untilhecouldnolongermasterit;andhow，inanunguardedmoment，whenhisprideroseinfierceconflictagainsthislove，hehaddonethisrecklessdeedofwhichhewasnowheartilyashamed。Thefervorofhiswordstouchedher，forshefeltthattheyweresincere。

Largemutetearstrembledinhereyelashesasshesatgazingtenderlyathim，andinthedepthofhersoulthewishawokethatshemighthavebeenabletoreturnthisgreatandstrongloveofhis;forshefeltthatinthislovelaythegermofanew，ofastrongerandbetterman。Shenoticed，withahalf—regretfulpleasure，hishandsomefigure，hisdelicatelyshapedhands，andthenoblecastofhisfeatures;anoverwhelmingpityforhimrosewithinher，andshebegantoreproachherselfforhavingspokensoharshly，and，asshenowthought，sounjustly。Perhapshereadinhereyestheunspokenwish。Heseizedherhand，andhiswordsfellwithawarmandalluringcadenceuponherear。

"Ishallnotseeyouforalongtimetocome，Bertha，"saidhe，"butif，attheendoffiveorsixyearsyourhandisstillfree，andIreturnanotherman——amantowhomyoucouldsafelyintrustyourhappiness——wouldyouthenlistentowhatImayhavetosaytoyou？ForIpromise，byallthatwebothholdsacred——"

"No，no，"interruptedshe，hastily。"Promisenothing。Itwouldbeunjustto——yourself，andperhapsalsotome;forasacredpromiseisaterriblething，Ralph。Letusbothremainfree;

and，ifyoureturnandstillloveme，thencome，andIshallreceiveyouandlistentoyou。Andevenifyouhaveoutgrownyourlove，whichis，indeed，moreprobable，comestilltovisitmewhereverImaybe，andweshallmeetasfriendsandrejoiceinthemeeting。"

"Youknowbest，"hemurmured。"Letitbeasyouhavesaid。"

Hearose，tookherfacebetweenhishands，gazedlongandtenderlyintohereyes，pressedakissuponherforehead，andhastenedaway。

ThatnightRalphboardedthesteamerforHull，andthreeweekslaterlandedinNewYork。

IV。

ThefirstthreemonthsofRalph’ssojourninAmericawerespentinvainattemptstoobtainasituation。DayafterdayhewalkeddownBroadway，callingatvariousplacesofbusinessandnightafternighthereturnedtohischeer—

lessroomwithafaintheartanddecliningspirits。

Itwas，afterall，amoreseriousthingthanhehadimagined，tocutthecablewhichbindsonetothelandofone’sbirth。Thereahundredsubtileinfluences，theexistenceofwhichnoonesuspectsuntilthemomenttheyarewithdrawn，unitetokeeponeinthestraightpathofrectitude，oratleastofexternalrespectability;andRalph’slifehadbeenallinsociety;theopinionofhisfellow—menhadbeentheoneforcetowhichheimplicitlydeferred，andtheconsciencebywhichhehadbeenwonttotesthisactionshadbeennothingbuttheaggregatejudgmentofhisfriends。Tosuchamantheisolationandtheutterirresponsibilityofalifeamongstrangerswastenfoldmoredangerous;andRalphfound，tohishorror，thathischaractercontainedinnumerablelatentpossibilitieswhichtheeasy—

goinglifeinhishomeprobablyneverwouldhaverevealedtohim。Itoftencuthimtothequick，when，onenteringanofficeinhisdailysearchforemployment，hewasmetbyhostileorsuspiciousglances，orwhen，asitoccasionallyhappened，thedoorwasslammedinhisface，asifhewereavagabondoranimpostor。Thenthewolfwasoftenrousedwithinhim，andhefeltamomentarywilddesiretobecomewhatthepeoplehereevidentlybelievedhimtobe。

Manyanighthesaunteredirresolutelyaboutthegamblingplacesinobscurestreets，andtheglareoflight，therudeshoutsandclamorsinthesamemomentrepelledandattractedhim。

Ifhewenttothedevil，whowouldcare？Hisfatherhadhimselfpointedoutthewaytohim;

andnobodycouldblamehimifhefollowedtheadvice。Butthenagainamemoryemergedfromthatchamberofhissoulwhichstillheheldsacred;andBertha’sdeep—blueeyesgazeduponhimwiththeirearnestlookoftenderwarningandregret。

Whenthesummerwashalfgone，Ralphhadgainedmanyahardvictoryoverhimself，andlearnedmanyausefullesson;andatlengthheswallowedhispride，divestedhimselfofhisfineclothes，andacceptedapositionasassistantgardeneratavillaontheHudson。Andashestoodperspiringwithaspadeinhishand，andacheapbroad—brimmedstrawhatonhishead，heoftentookagrimpleasureinpicturingtohimselfhowhisaristocraticfriendsathomewouldreceivehim，ifheshouldintroducehimselftotheminthisnewcostume。

"Afterall，itwasonlymypositiontheycaredfor，"hereflected，bitterly;"withoutmyfather’snamewhatwouldIbetothem？"

Then，again，therewasacertainsatisfactioninknowingthat，forhispresentsituation，humbleasitwas，hewasindebtedtonobodybuthimself;andthethoughtthatBertha’seyes，iftheycouldhaveseenhimnowwouldhavedweltuponhimwithpleasureandapprobation，wentfartoconsolehimforhisachingback，hissunburnedface，andhisswollenandblisteredhands。

Oneday，asRalphwasrakingthegravel—

walksinthegarden，hisemployer’sdaughter，ayoungladyofseventeen，cameoutandspoketohim。Hiscultureandrefinementofmannerstruckherwithwonder，andsheaskedhimtotellherhishistory;butthenhesuddenlygrewverygrave，andsheforborepressinghim。Fromthattimesheattachedakindofromanticinteresttohim，andfinallyinducedherfathertoobtainhimasituationthatwouldbemoretohistaste。And，beforewintercame，Ralphsawthedawnofanewfutureglimmeringbeforehim。

Hehadwrestledbravelywithfate，andhadoncemoregainedavictory。Hebeganthecareerinwhichsuccessanddistinctionawaitedhim，asproof—readeronanewspaperinthecity。

HehadfortunatelybeenfamiliarwiththeEnglishlanguagebeforehelefthome，andbythestrengthofhiswillheconqueredalldifficulties。

Attheendoftwoyearshebecameattachedtotheeditorialstaff;newambitioushopes，hithertoforeigntohismind，awokewithinhim;

andwithjoyoustumultofhearthesawlifeopeningitswidevistasbeforehim，andhelaboredonmanfullytorepairthelossesofthepast，andtopreparehimselfforgreaterusefulnessintimestocome。Hefeltinhimselfastrongerandfullermanhood，asifthegreatarteriesofthevastuniversalworld—lifepulsedinhisownbeing。Thedrowsy，indolentexistenceathomeappearedlikeadullremotedreamfromwhichhehadawaked，andheblessedthedestinywhich，byitsverysternness，hadmercifullysavedhim;heblessedher，too，who，fromtheverywantofloveforhim，had，perhaps，madehimworthieroflove。

Theyearsflewrapidly。Societyhadflungitsdoorsopentohim，andwhatwasmore，hehadfoundsomewarmfriends，inwhosehouseshecouldcomeandgoatpleasure。Heenjoyedkeenlytheprivilegeofdailyassociationwithhigh—mindedandrefinedwomen;theireageractivityofintellectstimulatedhim，theirexquisiteetherealgraceandtheirdelicatelychiseledbeautysatisfiedhisaestheticcravings，andtheresponsivevivacityoftheirnaturepreparedhimevernewsurprises。Hefeltastrangefascinationinthepresenceofthesewomen，andtheconvictiongrewuponhimthattheirtypeofwomanhoodwassuperiortoanyhehadhithertoknown。Andbywayofrefutinghisownargument，hewoulddrawfromhispocket—bookthephotographofBertha，whichhadasecretcompartmenttherealltoitself，and，gazingtenderlyatit，wouldeagerlydefendheragainstthedisparagingreflectionswhichtheinvoluntarycomparisonhadprovoked。Andstill，howcouldhehelpseeingthatherfeatures，thoughwellmolded，lackedanimation;thathereye，withitsdeep，trustfulglance，wasnotbrilliant，andthatthecalmearnestnessofherface，whencomparedwiththebright，intellectualbeautyofhispresentfriends，appearedpaleandsimple，likeavioletinabouquetofvividlycoloredroses？

Itgavehimaquickpang，when，attimes，hewasforcedtoadmitthis;nevertheless，itwasthetruth。

AftersixyearsofresidenceinAmerica，Ralphhadgainedaveryhighreputationasajournalistofrarecultureandability，and，in1867hewassenttotheWorld’sExhibitioninParis，ascorrespondentofthepaperonwhichhehadduringalltheseyearsbeenemployed。

Whatwonder，then，thathestartedforEuropeafewweeksbeforehispresencewasneededintheimperialcity，andthathesteeredhiscoursedirectlytowardthefjordvalleywhereBerthahadherhome？ItwasshewhohadbiddenhimGodspeedwhenhefledfromthelandofhisbirth，andshe，too，shouldreceivehisfirstgreetingonhisreturn。

V。

Thesunhadfortifieditselfbehindacitadelofflamingclouds，andtheupperforestregionshonewithastrangeetherealglow，whilethelowerplainswerewrappedinshadow;buttheshadowitselfhadastrongsuffusionofcolor。

Themountainpeaksrosecoldandblueinthedistance。

Ralph，havinginquiredhiswayoftheboatmanwhohadlandedhimatthepier，walkedrapidlyalongthebeach，withasmallvaliseinhishand，andalightsummerovercoatflungoverhisshoulder。Manyhalf—thoughtsgrazedhismind，anderethefirsthadtakenshape，thesecond，andthethirdcameandchaseditaway。

AndstilltheyallinsomefashionhadreferencetoBertha;forinamisty，abstractway，shefilledhiswholemind;butforsomeindefinablereason，hewasafraidtogivefreereintothesentimentwhichlurkedintheremotercornersofhissoul。

Onwardhehastened，whilehisheartthrobbedwiththequickeningtempoofmingledexpectationandfear。Nowandthenoneofthosechillgustsofairwhichseemtobecareeringaboutaimlesslyintheatmosphereduringearlysummer，wouldstrikeintohisface，andrecallhimtoakeenerself—consciousness。

Ralphconcluded，fromhisincreasingagitation，thathemustbeverynearBertha’shome。

Hestoppedandlookedaroundhim。Hesawalargemapleattheroadside，somethirtystepsfromwherehewasstanding，andthegirlwhowassittingunderit，restingherheadinherhandandgazingoutoverthesea，herecognizedinaninstanttobeBertha。Hesprangupontheroad，notcrossing，however，herlineofvision，andapproachedhernoiselesslyfrombehind。

"Bertha，"hewhispered。

Shegavealittlejoyouscry，sprangup，andmadeagestureasiftothrowherselfinhisarms;

thensuddenlycheckedherself，blushedcrimson，andmovedastepbackward。

"Youcamesosuddenly，"shemurmured。

"But，Bertha，"criedhe（andthefullbassofhisvoicerangthroughherverysoul），"haveI

goneintoexileandwaitedthesemanyyearsforsocoldawelcome？"

"Youhavechangedsomuch，Ralph，"sheanswered，withthatoldgravesmilewhichheknewsowell，andstretchedoutbothherhandstowardhim。"AndIhavethoughtofyousomuchsinceyouwentaway，andblamedmyselfbecauseIhadjudgedyousoharshly，andwonderedthatyoucouldlistentomesopatiently，andneverbearmeanymaliceforwhatIsaid。"

"Ifyouhadsaidawordless，"declaredRalph，seatinghimselfathersideonthegreensward，"orifyouhadvarnisheditoverwithpoliteness，thenyouwouldprobablyhavefailedtoproduceanyeffectandIshouldnothavebeenburdenedwiththatheavydebtofgratitudewhichInowoweyou。Iwasaprettythick—skinnedanimalinthosedays，Bertha。Yousaidtherightwordattherightmoment;yougavemeaholdandagoodpieceofadvice，whichmyowningenuitywouldneverhavesuggestedtome。Iwillnotthankyou，because，insograveacaseasthis，spokenthankssoundlikeameremockery。WhateverIam，Bertha，andwhateverImayhopetobe，Ioweitalltothathour。"

Shelistenedwithrapturetothemanlyassuranceofhisvoice;hereyesdweltwithunspeakablejoyuponhisstrong，bronzedfeatures，hisfullthickblondebeard，andthevigorousproportionsofhisframe。Manyandmanyatimeduringhisabsencehadshewonderedhowhewouldlookifheevercameback，andwiththatminuteconscientiousnesswhich，asitwere，pervadedherwholecharacter，shehadheldherselfresponsiblebeforeGodforhisfate，prayedforhim，andtrembledlestevilpowersshouldgaintheascendencyoverhissoul。

Ontheirwaytothehousetheytalkedtogetherofmanythings，butinaguarded，cautiousfashion，andwithoutthecheerfulabandonmentofformeryears。Theyboth，asitwere，gropedtheirwaycarefullyineachother’sminds，andeachvaguelyfeltthattherewassomethingintheother’sthoughtwhichitwasnotwelltotouchunbidden。Berthasawthatallherfearsforhimhadbeengroundless，andhisveryappearanceliftedthewholeweightofresponsibilityfromherbreast;andstill，didsherejoiceatherdeliverancefromherburden？Ah，no，inthismomentsheknewthatthatwhichshehadfoolishlycherishedasthebestandnoblestpartofherself，hadbeenbutaselfishneedofherownheart。Shefearedthatshehadonlytakenthatinterestinhimwhichonefeelsinathingofone’sownmaking;andnow，whenshesawthathehadrisenquiteaboveher;thathewasfreeandstrong，andcouldhavenomoreneedofher，shehad，insteadofgenerouspleasureathissuccess，butapainfulsenseofemptiness，asifsomethingverydearhadbeentakenfromher。

Ralph，too，wasloathtoanalyzetheimpressionhisoldlovemadeuponhim。Hisfeelingswereofsocomplexanature，hewasanxioustokeephismoremagnanimousimpulsesactive，andhestrovehardtoconvincehimselfthatshewasstillthesametohimasshehadbeenbeforetheyhadeverparted。But，alas！thoughtheheartbewarmandgenerous，theeyeisamercilesscritic。Andthemanwhohadmovedonthewidearenaoftheworld，whosemindhadhousedthelargethoughtsofthiscentury，andexpandedwithitsinvigoratingbreath，——washetoblamebecausehehadunconsciouslyoutgrownhisoldprovincialself，andcouldnomorejudgebyitsstandards？

Bertha’sfatherwasapeasant，buthehad，byhislumbertrade，acquiredwhatinNorwaywascalledaveryhandsomefortune。Hereceivedhisguestwithdignifiedreserve，andRalphthoughthedetectedinhiseyesalurkinglookofdistrust。"Iknowyourerrand，"thatlookseemedtosay，"butyouhadbettergiveitupatonce。Itwillbeofnouseforyoutotry。"

Andaftersupper，asRalphandBerthasattalkingconfidinglywitheachotheratthewindow，hesenthisdaughteraquick，sharpglance，andthen，withoutceremony，commandedhertogotobed。Ralph’sheartgaveagreatthumpwithinhim;notbecausehefearedtheoldman，butbecausehiswords，aswellashisglances，revealedtohimthesadhistoryoftheselong，patientyears。Hedoubtednolongerthatthelovewhichhehadoncesoardentlydesiredwashisatlast;andhemadeasilentvowthat，comewhatmight，hewouldremainfaithful。

Ashecamedowntobreakfastthenextmorning，hefoundBerthasittingatthewindow，engagedinhemmingwhatappearedtobearoughkitchentowel。Shebenteagerlyoverherwork，andonlyavividflushuponhercheektoldhimthatshehadnoticedhiscoming。Hetookachair，seatedhimselfoppositeher，andbadeher"good—morning。"Sheraisedherhead，andshowedhimasweet，troubledcountenance，whichtheearlysunlightilluminedwithahighspiritualbeauty。Itremindedhimforciblyofthosepale，sweet—facedsaintsofFraAngelico，withwhomthefrailfleshseemseveronthepointofyieldingtotheardentaspirationsofthespirit。Andstill，eveninthismomenthecouldnotpreventhiseyesfromobservingthatonesideofherforefingerwasroughfromsewing，andthatthewhitenessofherarm，whichtheloosesleevesdisplayed，contrastedstronglywiththebrownedandsun—burnedcomplexionofherhands。

Afterbreakfasttheyagainwalkedtogetheronthebeach，andRalph，havingonceformedhisresolution，nowtalkedfreelyoftheNewWorld——ofhissphereofactivitythere;ofhisfriendsandofhisplansforthefuture;andshelistenedtohimwithamild，perplexedlookinhereyes，asiftryingvainlytofollowtheflightofhisthoughts。Andhewondered，withsecretdismay，whethershewasstillthesamestrong，brave—heartedgirlwhomhehadonceaccountedalmostbold;whetherthelifeinthisnarrowvalley，amidahundredpettyanddepressingcares，hadnotcrampedherspiritualgrowth，andnarrowedthesphereofherthought。Orwasshestillthesame，andwasitonlyhewhohadchanged？Atlasthegaveutterancetohiswonder，andsheansweredhiminthosegrave，earnesttoneswhichseemedinthemselvestobehalfarefutationofhisdoubts。

"Itwaseasyformetogiveyoudaringadvice，then，Ralph，"shesaid。"Likemostschool—

girls，Ithoughtthatlifewasagreatandgloriousthing，andthathappinesswasafruitwhichhungwithinreachofeveryhand。NowIhavelivedforsixyearstryingsingle—handedtorelievethewantandsufferingoftheneedypeoplewithwhomIcomeincontact，andtheirsqualorandwretchednesshavesickenedme，and，whatisstillworse，IfeelthatallIcandoisasadropintheocean，andafterall，amountstonothing。

IknowIamnolongerthesamerecklessgirl，who，withtheverybestintention，sentyouwanderingthroughthewideworld;andIthankGodthatitprovedtobeforyourgood，althoughthewholenowappearsquiteincredibletome。Mythoughtshavemovedsolongwithinthenarrowcircleofthesemountainsthattheyhavelosttheiryouthfulelasticity，andcannomoreriseabovethem。"

Ralphdetected，inthemidstofherdespondency，asparkofherformerfire，andgreweloquentinhisendeavorstopersuadeherthatshewasunjusttoherself，andthattherewasbutawidersphereoflifeneededtodevelopallthelatentpowersofherrichnature。

Atthedinner—table，herfatheragainsateyeinghisguestwiththatsamecoldlookofdistrustandsuspicion。Andwhenthemealwasatanend，heroseabruptlyandcalledhisdaughterintoanotherroom。PresentlyRalphheardhisangryvoiceresoundingthroughthehouse，interruptednowandthenbyawoman’ssobs，andasubdued，passionatepleading。WhenBerthaagainenteredtheroom，hereyeswereveryred，andhesawthatshehadbeenweeping。

Shethrewashawloverhershoulders，beckonedtohimwithherhand，andhearoseandfollowedher。Sheledthewaysilentlyuntiltheyreachedathickcopseofbirchandaldernearthestrand。Shedroppeddownuponabenchbetweentwotrees，andhetookhisseatatherside。

"Ralph，"beganshe，withavisibleeffort，"I

hardlyknowwhattosaytoyou;butthereissomethingwhichImusttellyou——myfatherwishesyoutoleaveusatonce。"

"AndYOU，Bertha？"

"Well——yes——Iwishittoo。"

Shesawthepainfulshockwhichherwordsgavehim，andshestrovehardtospeak。Herlipstrembled，hereyesbecamesuffusedwithtears，whichgrewandgrew，butneverfell;shecouldnotutteraword。

"Well，Bertha，"answeredhe，withalittlequiverinhisvoice，"ifyou，too，wishmetogo，Ishallnottarry。Good—bye。"

Herosequickly，and，withavertedface，heldouthishandtoher;butasshemadenomotiontograspthehand，hebegandistractedlytobuttonhiscoat，andmovedslowlyaway。

"Ralph。"

Heturnedsharply，and，beforeheknewit，shelaysobbinguponhisbreast。

"Ralph，"shemurmured，whilethetearsalmostchokedherwords，"Icouldnothaveyouleavemethus。Itishardenough——itishardenough——"

"Whatishard，beloved？"

Sheraisedherheadabruptly，andturneduponhimagazefullofhopeanddoubt，andsweetperplexity。

"Ah，no，youdonotloveme，"shewhispered，sadly。

"WhyshouldIcometoseekyou，afterthesemanyyears，dearest，ifIdidnotwishtomakeyoumywifebeforeGodandmen？WhyshouldI——"

"Ah，yes，Iknow，"sheinterruptedhimwithafreshfitofweeping，"youaretoogoodandhonesttowishtothrowmeaway，nowwhenyouhaveseenhowmysoulhashungeredforthesightofyouthesemanyyears，howevennowIclingtoyouwithadespairingclutch。

Butyoucannotdisguiseyourself，Ralph，andI

sawfromthefirstmomentthatyoulovedmenomore。"

"Donotbesuchanunreasonablechild，"heremonstrated，feebly。"Idonotloveyouwiththewild，irrationalpassionofformeryears;

butIhavethetenderestregardforyou，andmyheartwarmsatthesightofyoursweetface，andIshalldoallinmypowertomakeyouashappyasanymancanmakeyouwho——"

"Whodoesnotloveme，"shefinished。

Asuddenshudderseemedtoshakeherwholeframe，andshedrewherselfmoretightlyuptohim。

"Ah，no，"shecontinued，afterawhile，sinkingbackuponherseat。"Itisahopelessthingtocompelareluctantheart。Iwillacceptnosacrificefromyou。Youowemenothing，foryouhaveactedtowardmehonestlyanduprightly，andIshallbeastronger，or——atleast——

abetterwomanforwhatyougaveme——and——

forwhatyoucouldnotgiveme，eventhoughyouwould。"

"But，Bertha，"exclaimedhe，lookingmournfullyather，"itisnottruewhenyousaythatI

oweyounothing。Sixyearsago，whenfirstI

wooedyou，youcouldnotreturnmylove，andyousentmeoutintotheworld，andevenrefusedtoacceptanypledgeorpromiseforthefuture。"

"Andyoureturned，"sheresponded，"aman，suchasmyhopehadpicturedyou;but，whileI

hadalmostbeenstandingstill，youhadoutgrownme，andoutgrownyouroldself，and，withyouroldself，outgrownitsloveforme，foryourlovewasnotofyournewself，butoftheold。Alas！itisasadtale，butitistrue。"

Shespokegravelynow，andwithasteadiervoice，buthereyeshunguponhisfacewithaneagerlookofexpectation，asifyearningtodetecttheresomegleamofhope，somecontradictionofthedismaltruth。Hereadthatlookaright，anditpiercedhimlikeasharpsword。

Hemadeabraveefforttorespondtoitsappeal，buthisfeaturesseemedhardasstone，andhecouldonlycryoutagainsthisdestiny，andbewailhismisfortuneandhers。

Towardevening，Ralphwassittinginanopenboat，listeningtothemeasuredoar—strokesoftheboatmenwhowererowinghimouttotheneareststopping—placeofthesteamer。Themountainsliftedtheirgreatplacidheadsupamongthesun—bathedclouds，andthefjordopeneditscooldepthsasiftomakeroomfortheirvastreflections。Ralphfeltasifhewerefloatinginthemidstoftheblueinfinitespace，and，withthestrengthwhichthisfeelinginspired，hetriedtofaceboldlythethoughtfromwhichhehadbutamomentagoshrunkasfromsomethinghopelesslysadandperplexing。

AndinthathourhelookedfearlesslyintothegulfwhichseparatestheNewWorldfromtheOld。Hehadhopedtobridgeit;but，alas！itcannotbebridged。

ASCIENTIFICVAGABOND。

I。

THEsteamerwhichasfarbackas1860

passedeveryweekonitsnorthwardwayupalongthecoastofNorway，wasofaverysociableturnofmind。Itranwithmuchshriekingandneedlessblusterinandoutthecalm，windingfjords，paidunceremoniouslittlevisitsineveryout—of—the—waynookandbay，droppednowandthenablackheapofcoalintotheshiningwater，andsentthickvolleysofsmokeandshrilllittleechoescareeringaimlesslyamongthemountains。Itseemed，onthewhole，fromanaestheticpointofview，anobjectionablephenomenon——ablotupontheperfectsummerday。Bytheinhabitants，however，oftheseremoteregions（withtheexceptionofafewobstinateindividuals，whohadatfirstlookeduponitasthesureheraldofdooms—

day，andstillwerevaguelywonderingwhattheworldwascomingto，）itwasregardedinaverydifferentlight。Thischolericlittlemonsterwastothemafriendlyandwelcomevisitor，whichestablishedtheirconnectionwiththeoutsideworld，andgavethemaproudconsciousnessoflivingintheveryheartofcivilization。

Therefore，onsteamboatdaystheyflockedenmassedownonthepiers，and，withanever—freshsenseofnovelty，greetedtheapproachingboatwithlivelycheers，withfiringofmusketsandwavingofhandkerchiefs。Themenofcondition，asthejudge，thesheriff，andtheparson，whosedignityforbadethemtoreceivethesteamerinperson，contentedthemselveswithwatchingitthroughanopera—glassfromtheirbalconies;andifahighofficialwasknowntobeonboard，theyperhapsdisplayedthenationalbannerfromtheirflag—poles，asadelicatecomplimenttotheirsuperior。

ButtheRev。Mr。Oddson，theparsonofwhomIhavetospeak，hadthisdayyieldedtothegentleurgingsofhisdaughters（as，indeed，healwaysdid），andhadwiththemboardedthesteamertoreceivehisnephew，ArnfinnVording，whowasreturningfromtheuniversityforhissummervacation。Andnowtheyhadhimbetweenthemintheirprettywhite—paintedpar—

sonageboat，withthebluelinealongthegunwale，beleagueringhimwitheagerquestionsaboutfriendsandrelativesinthecapital，chums，universitysports，andamedleyofotherthingsinterestingtoyoungladieswhohaveacollegianforacousin。Hisunclewascharitableenoughtocheckhisowncuriosityaboutthenephew’sprogressintheartsandsciences，andtheresultofhisrecentexaminations，tillheshouldhavebecomefairlysettledunderhisroof;andArnfinn，who，inspiteofhisnaturalbrightnessandreadyhumor，wasanythingbuta"dig，"wasgratefulfortherespite。

Theparsonagelaysnuglynestledattheendofthebay，shiningcontentedlythroughthegreenfoliagefromamultitudeofsmallsun—

smittenwindows。Itspinkishwhitewash，whichwaspeelingofffromlongexposuretotheweather，wasincheerfulcontrasttothebroadblacksurfaceoftheroof，withitsglazedtiles，andthestarlings’nestsunderthechimney—tops。

Thethick—leavedmaplesandwalnut—treeswhichgrewinrandomclustersaboutthewallsseemedloftilyconsciousofstandingthereforpurposesofprotection;for，wherevertheirlong—fingeredbrancheshappenedtograzetheroof，itwasalwayswithatouch，light，graceful，andairilycaressing。Theirregularlypavedyardwasinclosedontwosidesbythemainbuilding，andonthethirdbyaspeciesoflogcabin，which，inNorway，iscalledabrew—house;buttowardthewesttheviewwasbutslightlyobscuredbyanelevatedpigeoncotandaclumpofbirches，throughwhosesparseleavesthefjordbeneathsentitsrapidjetsandgleamsoflight，anditsstrangesuggestionsofdistance，peaceandunaccountablegladness。

ArnfinnVording’scareerhadpresentedthatsubtlecombinationoffarceandtragedywhichmosthumanlivesareapttobe;andifthetragicelementhadduringhisearlyyearsbeenpreponderating，hewashardlyhimselfawareofit;forhehadbeentooyoungatthedeathofhisparentstofeelthatkeennessofgriefwhichthesameprivationwouldhavegivenhimatalaterperiodofhislife。Itmighthavebeenhumiliatingtoconfessit，butitwasneverthelesstruethattheterrorhehadoncesustainedonbeingpursuedbyafuriousbullwasmuchmorevividinhismemorythanthevaguewonderanddepressionwhichhadfilledhismindatseeinghismothersosuddenlystrickenwithage，asshelaymotionlessinherwhiterobesinthefrontparlor。

Sincethenhisuncle，whowashisguardianandnearestrelative，hadtakenhimintohisfamily，hadinstructedhimwithhisowndaughters，andfinallysenthimtotheUniversity，leavingthelittlefortunewhichhehadinheritedtoaccumulateforfutureuse。ArnfinnhadapainfullydistinctrecollectionofhisearlyhardshipsintryingtoacquirethatsoftpronunciationoftherwhichispeculiartothewesternfjorddistrictsofNorway，andwhichheadmiredsomuchinhiscousins;forthemerry—eyedInga，whowaslessscrupulousbyagooddealthanheroldersister，Augusta，hadfromthebeginningpersistedininterpretingtheirrelationofcousinshipasanunboundedprivilegeonherparttoridiculehimforhispersonalpeculiarities，andespeciallyforhisharshrandhisbroadeasternaccent。Herridiculewasalwaysverygood—natured，tobesure，butthereforenolessannoying。

But——suchistheperversenessofhumannature——

inspiteofaseriesofapparentrebuffs，interruptednowandthenbyfitsofviolentattachment，Arnfinnhadearlyselectedthisdimpledandyellow—hairedyounggirl，withherpiquantlittlenose，forhisfavoritecousin。Itwastheprospectofseeingherwhich，aboveallelse，hadlent，inanticipation，analtogethernewradiancetothedaywhenheshouldpresenthim—

selfinhishomewiththelong—tasseledstudentcaponhishead，theunnecessary"pinchers"onhisnose，andwiththeothertraditionalparaphernaliaoftheNorwegianstudent。Thatgreatdayhadnowcome;ArnfinnsatatInga’ssideplayingwithherwhitefingers，whichlayrestingonhisknee，andcoveringthedepthofhisfeelingwithharmlessbanterabouther"amusinglyunclassicallittlenose。"Hehadoncedetectedher，whenachild，standingbeforeamirror，andpinchingthisunhappyfeatureinthemiddle，inthehopeofmakingit"likeAugusta’s;"andsincethenhehadnolongerfeltsoutterlydefenselesswheneverhisownfoibleswereattacked。