第5章
Ireadthescientificandscepticalliteratureofmytime——allofit，atleast，thatIcouldfindwritteninEnglishandlyingabout；
andIreadnothingelse；ImeanIreadnothingelseonanyothernoteofphilosophy。ThepennydreadfulswhichIalsoreadwereindeedinahealthyandheroictraditionofChristianity；
butIdidnotknowthisatthetime。IneverreadalineofChristianapologetics。IreadaslittleasIcanofthemnow。
ItwasHuxleyandHerbertSpencerandBradlaughwhobroughtmebacktoorthodoxtheology。Theysowedinmymindmyfirstwilddoubtsofdoubt。OurgrandmotherswerequiterightwhentheysaidthatTomPaineandthefree-thinkersunsettledthemind。Theydo。
Theyunsettledminehorribly。Therationalistmademequestionwhetherreasonwasofanyusewhatever；andwhenIhadfinishedHerbertSpencerIhadgotasfarasdoubting（forthefirsttime）
whetherevolutionhadoccurredatall。AsIlaiddownthelastofColonelIngersoll’satheisticlecturesthedreadfulthoughtbrokeacrossmymind，"AlmostthoupersuadestmetobeaChristian。"Iwasinadesperateway。
Thisoddeffectofthegreatagnosticsinarousingdoubtsdeeperthantheirownmightbeillustratedinmanyways。
Itakeonlyone。AsIreadandre-readallthenon-Christianoranti-Christianaccountsofthefaith，fromHuxleytoBradlaugh，aslowandawfulimpressiongrewgraduallybutgraphicallyuponmymind——theimpressionthatChristianitymustbeamostextraordinarything。Fornotonly（asIunderstood）hadChristianitythemostflamingvices，butithadapparentlyamysticaltalentforcombiningviceswhichseemedinconsistentwitheachother。
Itwasattackedonallsidesandforallcontradictoryreasons。
Nosoonerhadonerationalistdemonstratedthatitwastoofartotheeastthananotherdemonstratedwithequalclearnessthatitwasmuchtoofartothewest。NosoonerhadmyindignationdieddownatitsangularandaggressivesquarenessthanIwascalledupagaintonoticeandcondemnitsenervatingandsensualroundness。
IncaseanyreaderhasnotcomeacrossthethingImean，IwillgivesuchinstancesasIrememberatrandomofthisself-contradictioninthescepticalattack。Igivefourorfiveofthem；therearefiftymore。
Thus，forinstance，IwasmuchmovedbytheeloquentattackonChristianityasathingofinhumangloom；forIthought（andstillthink）sincerepessimismtheunpardonablesin。
Insincerepessimismisasocialaccomplishment，ratheragreeablethanotherwise；andfortunatelynearlyallpessimismisinsincere。
ButifChristianitywas，asthesepeoplesaid，athingpurelypessimisticandopposedtolife，thenIwasquitepreparedtoblowupSt。Paul’sCathedral。Buttheextraordinarythingisthis。
TheydidprovetomeinChapterI。（tomycompletesatisfaction）
thatChristianitywastoopessimistic；andthen，inChapterII。，theybegantoprovetomethatitwasagreatdealtoooptimistic。
OneaccusationagainstChristianitywasthatitpreventedmen，bymorbidtearsandterrors，fromseekingjoyandlibertyinthebosomofNature。Butanotheraccusationwasthatitcomfortedmenwithafictitiousprovidence，andputtheminapink-and-whitenursery。
OnegreatagnosticaskedwhyNaturewasnotbeautifulenough，andwhyitwashardtobefree。AnothergreatagnosticobjectedthatChristianoptimism，"thegarmentofmake-believewovenbypioushands，"hidfromusthefactthatNaturewasugly，andthatitwasimpossibletobefree。OnerationalisthadhardlydonecallingChristianityanightmarebeforeanotherbegantocallitafool’sparadise。Thispuzzledme；thechargesseemedinconsistent。
Christianitycouldnotatoncebetheblackmaskonawhiteworld，andalsothewhitemaskonablackworld。ThestateoftheChristiancouldnotbeatoncesocomfortablethathewasacowardtoclingtoit，andsouncomfortablethathewasafooltostandit。
Ifitfalsifiedhumanvisionitmustfalsifyitonewayoranother；
itcouldnotwearbothgreenandrose-colouredspectacles。
Irolledonmytonguewithaterriblejoy，asdidallyoungmenofthattime，thetauntswhichSwinburnehurledatthedrearinessofthecreed——
"Thouhastconquered，OpaleGalilaean，theworldhasgrowngraywithThybreath。"
ButwhenIreadthesamepoet’saccountsofpaganism（asin"Atalanta"），Igatheredthattheworldwas，ifpossible，moregraybeforetheGalileanbreathedonitthanafterwards。
Thepoetmaintained，indeed，intheabstract，thatlifeitselfwaspitchdark。Andyet，somehow，Christianityhaddarkenedit。
TheverymanwhodenouncedChristianityforpessimismwashimselfapessimist。Ithoughttheremustbesomethingwrong。Anditdidforonewildmomentcrossmymindthat，perhaps，thosemightnotbetheverybestjudgesoftherelationofreligiontohappinesswho，bytheirownaccount，hadneitheronenortheother。
ItmustbeunderstoodthatIdidnotconcludehastilythattheaccusationswerefalseortheaccusersfools。IsimplydeducedthatChristianitymustbesomethingevenweirderandwickederthantheymadeout。Athingmighthavethesetwooppositevices；
butitmustbearatherqueerthingifitdid。Amanmightbetoofatinoneplaceandtoothininanother；buthewouldbeanoddshape。
AtthispointmythoughtswereonlyoftheoddshapeoftheChristianreligion；Ididnotallegeanyoddshapeintherationalisticmind。
Hereisanothercaseofthesamekind。IfeltthatastrongcaseagainstChristianitylayinthechargethatthereissomethingtimid，monkish，andunmanlyaboutallthatiscalled"Christian，"
especiallyinitsattitudetowardsresistanceandfighting。
Thegreatscepticsofthenineteenthcenturywerelargelyvirile。
Bradlaughinanexpansiveway，Huxley，inareticentway，weredecidedlymen。Incomparison，itdidseemtenablethattherewassomethingweakandoverpatientaboutChristiancounsels。
TheGospelparadoxabouttheothercheek，thefactthatpriestsneverfought，ahundredthingsmadeplausibletheaccusationthatChristianitywasanattempttomakeamantoolikeasheep。
Ireaditandbelievedit，andifIhadreadnothingdifferent，Ishouldhavegoneonbelievingit。ButIreadsomethingverydifferent。
Iturnedthenextpageinmyagnosticmanual，andmybrainturnedup-sidedown。NowIfoundthatIwastohateChristianitynotforfightingtoolittle，butforfightingtoomuch。Christianity，itseemed，wasthemotherofwars。Christianityhaddelugedtheworldwithblood。
IhadgotthoroughlyangrywiththeChristian，becauseheneverwasangry。AndnowIwastoldtobeangrywithhimbecausehisangerhadbeenthemosthugeandhorriblethinginhumanhistory；
becausehisangerhadsoakedtheearthandsmokedtothesun。
TheverypeoplewhoreproachedChristianitywiththemeeknessandnon-resistanceofthemonasteriesweretheverypeoplewhoreproacheditalsowiththeviolenceandvalouroftheCrusades。ItwasthefaultofpooroldChristianity（somehoworother）boththatEdwardtheConfessordidnotfightandthatRichardCoeurdeLeondid。
TheQuakers（weweretold）weretheonlycharacteristicChristians；
andyetthemassacresofCromwellandAlvawerecharacteristicChristiancrimes。Whatcoulditallmean？WhatwasthisChristianitywhichalwaysforbadewarandalwaysproducedwars？Whatcouldbethenatureofthethingwhichonecouldabusefirstbecauseitwouldnotfight，andsecondbecauseitwasalwaysfighting？
Inwhatworldofriddleswasbornthismonstrousmurderandthismonstrousmeekness？TheshapeofChristianitygrewaqueerershapeeveryinstant。
Itakeathirdcase；thestrangestofall，becauseitinvolvestheonerealobjectiontothefaith。TheonerealobjectiontotheChristianreligionissimplythatitisonereligion。Theworldisabigplace，fullofverydifferentkindsofpeople。Christianity（itmayreasonablybesaid）isonethingconfinedtoonekindofpeople；
itbeganinPalestine，ithaspracticallystoppedwithEurope。
Iwasdulyimpressedwiththisargumentinmyyouth，andIwasmuchdrawntowardsthedoctrineoftenpreachedinEthicalSocieties——
Imeanthedoctrinethatthereisonegreatunconsciouschurchofallhumanityfoundedontheomnipresenceofthehumanconscience。
Creeds，itwassaid，dividedmen；butatleastmoralsunitedthem。
Thesoulmightseekthestrangestandmostremotelandsandagesandstillfindessentialethicalcommonsense。ItmightfindConfuciusunderEasterntrees，andhewouldbewriting"Thoushaltnotsteal。"Itmightdecipherthedarkesthieroglyphiconthemostprimevaldesert，andthemeaningwhendecipheredwouldbe"Littleboysshouldtellthetruth。"Ibelievedthisdoctrineofthebrotherhoodofallmeninthepossessionofamoralsense，andIbelieveitstill——withotherthings。AndIwasthoroughlyannoyedwithChristianityforsuggesting（asIsupposed）
thatwholeagesandempiresofmenhadutterlyescapedthislightofjusticeandreason。ButthenIfoundanastonishingthing。
IfoundthattheverypeoplewhosaidthatmankindwasonechurchfromPlatotoEmersonweretheverypeoplewhosaidthatmoralityhadchangedaltogether，andthatwhatwasrightinoneagewaswronginanother。IfIasked，say，foranaltar，Iwastoldthatweneedednone，formenourbrothersgaveusclearoraclesandonecreedintheiruniversalcustomsandideals。ButifImildlypointedoutthatoneofmen’suniversalcustomswastohaveanaltar，thenmyagnosticteachersturnedcleanroundandtoldmethatmenhadalwaysbeenindarknessandthesuperstitionsofsavages。
IfounditwastheirdailytauntagainstChristianitythatitwasthelightofonepeopleandhadleftallotherstodieinthedark。
ButIalsofoundthatitwastheirspecialboastforthemselvesthatscienceandprogresswerethediscoveryofonepeople，andthatallotherpeopleshaddiedinthedark。TheirchiefinsulttoChristianitywasactuallytheirchiefcomplimenttothemselves，andthereseemedtobeastrangeunfairnessaboutalltheirrelativeinsistenceonthetwothings。Whenconsideringsomepaganoragnostic，weweretorememberthatallmenhadonereligion；whenconsideringsomemysticorspiritualist，wewereonlytoconsiderwhatabsurdreligionssomemenhad。WecouldtrusttheethicsofEpictetus，becauseethicshadneverchanged。WemustnottrusttheethicsofBossuet，becauseethicshadchanged。Theychangedintwohundredyears，butnotintwothousand。
Thisbegantobealarming。ItlookednotsomuchasifChristianitywasbadenoughtoincludeanyvices，butratherasifanystickwasgoodenoughtobeatChristianitywith。
Whatagaincouldthisastonishingthingbelikewhichpeopleweresoanxioustocontradict，thatindoingsotheydidnotmindcontradictingthemselves？Isawthesamethingoneveryside。
Icangivenofurtherspacetothisdiscussionofitindetail；
butlestanyonesupposesthatIhaveunfairlyselectedthreeaccidentalcasesIwillrunbrieflythroughafewothers。
Thus，certainscepticswrotethatthegreatcrimeofChristianityhadbeenitsattackonthefamily；ithaddraggedwomentothelonelinessandcontemplationofthecloister，awayfromtheirhomesandtheirchildren。But，then，othersceptics（slightlymoreadvanced）
saidthatthegreatcrimeofChristianitywasforcingthefamilyandmarriageuponus；thatitdoomedwomentothedrudgeryoftheirhomesandchildren，andforbadethemlonelinessandcontemplation。
Thechargewasactuallyreversed。Or，again，certainphrasesintheEpistlesorthemarriageservice，weresaidbytheanti-Christianstoshowcontemptforwoman’sintellect。ButIfoundthattheanti-Christiansthemselveshadacontemptforwoman’sintellect；
foritwastheirgreatsneerattheChurchontheContinentthat"onlywomen"wenttoit。Oragain，Christianitywasreproachedwithitsnakedandhungryhabits；withitssackclothanddriedpeas。
ButthenextminuteChristianitywasbeingreproachedwithitspompanditsritualism；itsshrinesofporphyryanditsrobesofgold。
Itwasabusedforbeingtooplainandforbeingtoocoloured。
AgainChristianityhadalwaysbeenaccusedofrestrainingsexualitytoomuch，whenBradlaughtheMalthusiandiscoveredthatitrestrainedittoolittle。Itisoftenaccusedinthesamebreathofprimrespectabilityandofreligiousextravagance。BetweenthecoversofthesameatheisticpamphletIhavefoundthefaithrebukedforitsdisunion，"Onethinksonething，andoneanother，"
andrebukedalsoforitsunion，"Itisdifferenceofopinionthatpreventstheworldfromgoingtothedogs。"Inthesameconversationafree-thinker，afriendofmine，blamedChristianityfordespisingJews，andthendespisedithimselfforbeingJewish。
Iwishedtobequitefairthen，andIwishtobequitefairnow；
andIdidnotconcludethattheattackonChristianitywasallwrong。
IonlyconcludedthatifChristianitywaswrong，itwasverywrongindeed。Suchhostilehorrorsmightbecombinedinonething，butthatthingmustbeverystrangeandsolitary。Therearemenwhoaremisers，andalsospendthrifts；buttheyarerare。Therearemensensualandalsoascetic；buttheyarerare。Butifthismassofmadcontradictionsreallyexisted，quakerishandbloodthirsty，toogorgeousandtoothread-bare，austere，yetpanderingpreposterouslytothelustoftheeye，theenemyofwomenandtheirfoolishrefuge，asolemnpessimistandasillyoptimist，ifthisevilexisted，thentherewasinthisevilsomethingquitesupremeandunique。
ForIfoundinmyrationalistteachersnoexplanationofsuchexceptionalcorruption。Christianity（theoreticallyspeaking）
wasintheireyesonlyoneoftheordinarymythsanderrorsofmortals。
THEYgavemenokeytothistwistedandunnaturalbadness。
Suchaparadoxofevilrosetothestatureofthesupernatural。
Itwas，indeed，almostassupernaturalastheinfallibilityofthePope。
Anhistoricinstitution，whichneverwentright，isreallyquiteasmuchofamiracleasaninstitutionthatcannotgowrong。
TheonlyexplanationwhichimmediatelyoccurredtomymindwasthatChristianitydidnotcomefromheaven，butfromhell。Really，ifJesusofNazarethwasnotChrist，HemusthavebeenAntichrist。
Andtheninaquiethourastrangethoughtstruckmelikeastillthunderbolt。Therehadsuddenlycomeintomymindanotherexplanation。
Supposeweheardanunknownmanspokenofbymanymen。Supposewewerepuzzledtohearthatsomemensaidhewastootallandsometooshort；someobjectedtohisfatness，somelamentedhisleanness；
somethoughthimtoodark，andsometoofair。Oneexplanation（ashasbeenalreadyadmitted）wouldbethathemightbeanoddshape。
Butthereisanotherexplanation。Hemightbetherightshape。
Outrageouslytallmenmightfeelhimtobeshort。Veryshortmenmightfeelhimtobetall。Oldbuckswhoaregrowingstoutmightconsiderhiminsufficientlyfilledout；oldbeauxwhoweregrowingthinmightfeelthatheexpandedbeyondthenarrowlinesofelegance。
PerhapsSwedes（whohavepalehairliketow）calledhimadarkman，whilenegroesconsideredhimdistinctlyblonde。Perhaps（inshort）
thisextraordinarythingisreallytheordinarything；atleastthenormalthing，thecentre。Perhaps，afterall，itisChristianitythatissaneandallitscriticsthataremad——invariousways。
Itestedthisideabyaskingmyselfwhethertherewasaboutanyoftheaccusersanythingmorbidthatmightexplaintheaccusation。
Iwasstartledtofindthatthiskeyfittedalock。Forinstance，itwascertainlyoddthatthemodernworldchargedChristianityatoncewithbodilyausterityandwithartisticpomp。Butthenitwasalsoodd，veryodd，thatthemodernworlditselfcombinedextremebodilyluxurywithanextremeabsenceofartisticpomp。
ThemodernmanthoughtBecket’srobestoorichandhismealstoopoor。
Butthenthemodernmanwasreallyexceptionalinhistory；nomanbeforeeveratesuchelaboratedinnersinsuchuglyclothes。Themodernmanfoundthechurchtoosimpleexactlywheremodernlifeistoocomplex；
hefoundthechurchtoogorgeousexactlywheremodernlifeistoodingy。
Themanwhodislikedtheplainfastsandfeastswasmadonentrees。
Themanwhodislikedvestmentsworeapairofpreposteroustrousers。
Andsurelyiftherewasanyinsanityinvolvedinthematteratallitwasinthetrousers，notinthesimplyfallingrobe。Iftherewasanyinsanityatall，itwasintheextravagantentrees，notinthebreadandwine。
Iwentoverallthecases，andIfoundthekeyfittedsofar。
ThefactthatSwinburnewasirritatedattheunhappinessofChristiansandyetmoreirritatedattheirhappinesswaseasilyexplained。
ItwasnolongeracomplicationofdiseasesinChristianity，butacomplicationofdiseasesinSwinburne。TherestraintsofChristianssaddenedhimsimplybecausehewasmorehedonistthanahealthymanshouldbe。ThefaithofChristiansangeredhimbecausehewasmorepessimistthanahealthymanshouldbe。
InthesamewaytheMalthusiansbyinstinctattackedChristianity；
notbecausethereisanythingespeciallyanti-MalthusianaboutChristianity，butbecausethereissomethingalittleanti-humanaboutMalthusianism。
Neverthelessitcouldnot，Ifelt，bequitetruethatChristianitywasmerelysensibleandstoodinthemiddle。Therewasreallyanelementinitofemphasisandevenfrenzywhichhadjustifiedthesecularistsintheirsuperficialcriticism。Itmightbewise，Ibeganmoreandmoretothinkthatitwaswise，butitwasnotmerelyworldlywise；itwasnotmerelytemperateandrespectable。
Itsfiercecrusadersandmeeksaintsmightbalanceeachother；
still，thecrusaderswereveryfierceandthesaintswereverymeek，meekbeyondalldecency。Now，itwasjustatthispointofthespeculationthatIrememberedmythoughtsaboutthemartyrandthesuicide。Inthatmattertherehadbeenthiscombinationbetweentwoalmostinsanepositionswhichyetsomehowamountedtosanity。
Thiswasjustsuchanothercontradiction；andthisIhadalreadyfoundtobetrue。Thiswasexactlyoneoftheparadoxesinwhichscepticsfoundthecreedwrong；andinthisIhadfounditright。
MadlyasChristiansmightlovethemartyrorhatethesuicide，theyneverfeltthesepassionsmoremadlythanIhadfeltthemlongbeforeIdreamedofChristianity。Thenthemostdifficultandinterestingpartofthementalprocessopened，andIbegantotracethisideadarklythroughalltheenormousthoughtsofourtheology。
TheideawasthatwhichIhadoutlinedtouchingtheoptimistandthepessimist；thatwewantnotanamalgamorcompromise，butboththingsatthetopoftheirenergy；loveandwrathbothburning。
HereIshallonlytraceitinrelationtoethics。ButIneednotremindthereaderthattheideaofthiscombinationisindeedcentralinorthodoxtheology。FororthodoxtheologyhasspeciallyinsistedthatChristwasnotabeingapartfromGodandman，likeanelf，noryetabeinghalfhumanandhalfnot，likeacentaur，butboththingsatonceandboththingsthoroughly，verymanandveryGod。
NowletmetracethisnotionasIfoundit。
Allsanemencanseethatsanityissomekindofequilibrium；
thatonemaybemadandeattoomuch，ormadandeattoolittle。
SomemodernshaveindeedappearedwithvagueversionsofprogressandevolutionwhichseekstodestroytheMESONorbalanceofAristotle。
Theyseemtosuggestthatwearemeanttostarveprogressively，ortogooneatinglargerandlargerbreakfastseverymorningforever。
ButthegreattruismoftheMESONremainsforallthinkingmen，andthesepeoplehavenotupsetanybalanceexcepttheirown。
Butgrantedthatwehavealltokeepabalance，therealinterestcomesinwiththequestionofhowthatbalancecanbekept。
ThatwastheproblemwhichPaganismtriedtosolve：thatwastheproblemwhichIthinkChristianitysolvedandsolvedinaverystrangeway。
Paganismdeclaredthatvirtuewasinabalance；Christianitydeclareditwasinaconflict：thecollisionoftwopassionsapparentlyopposite。Ofcoursetheywerenotreallyinconsistent；
buttheyweresuchthatitwashardtoholdsimultaneously。
Letusfollowforamomenttheclueofthemartyrandthesuicide；
andtakethecaseofcourage。Noqualityhaseversomuchaddledthebrainsandtangledthedefinitionsofmerelyrationalsages。
Courageisalmostacontradictioninterms。Itmeansastrongdesiretolivetakingtheformofareadinesstodie。"Hethatwilllosehislife，thesameshallsaveit，"isnotapieceofmysticismforsaintsandheroes。Itisapieceofeverydayadviceforsailorsormountaineers。ItmightbeprintedinanAlpineguideoradrillbook。Thisparadoxisthewholeprincipleofcourage；
evenofquiteearthlyorquitebrutalcourage。Amancutoffbytheseamaysavehislifeifhewillriskitontheprecipice。
Hecanonlygetawayfromdeathbycontinuallysteppingwithinaninchofit。Asoldiersurroundedbyenemies，ifheistocuthiswayout，needstocombineastrongdesireforlivingwithastrangecarelessnessaboutdying。Hemustnotmerelyclingtolife，forthenhewillbeacoward，andwillnotescape。Hemustnotmerelywaitfordeath，forthenhewillbeasuicide，andwillnotescape。
Hemustseekhislifeinaspiritoffuriousindifferencetoit；
hemustdesirelifelikewaterandyetdrinkdeathlikewine。
Nophilosopher，Ifancy，haseverexpressedthisromanticriddlewithadequatelucidity，andIcertainlyhavenotdoneso。
ButChristianityhasdonemore：ithasmarkedthelimitsofitintheawfulgravesofthesuicideandthehero，showingthedistancebetweenhimwhodiesforthesakeoflivingandhimwhodiesforthesakeofdying。AndithasheldupeversinceabovetheEuropeanlancesthebannerofthemysteryofchivalry：theChristiancourage，whichisadisdainofdeath；nottheChinesecourage，whichisadisdainoflife。
AndnowIbegantofindthatthisduplexpassionwastheChristiankeytoethicseverywhere。Everywherethecreedmadeamoderationoutofthestillcrashoftwoimpetuousemotions。Take，forinstance，thematterofmodesty，ofthebalancebetweenmereprideandmereprostration。Theaveragepagan，liketheaverageagnostic，wouldmerelysaythathewascontentwithhimself，butnotinsolentlyself-satisfied，thatthereweremanybetterandmanyworse，thathisdesertswerelimited，buthewouldseethathegotthem。
Inshort，hewouldwalkwithhisheadintheair；butnotnecessarilywithhisnoseintheair。Thisisamanlyandrationalposition，butitisopentotheobjectionwenotedagainstthecompromisebetweenoptimismandpessimism——the"resignation"ofMatthewArnold。
Beingamixtureoftwothings，itisadilutionoftwothings；
neitherispresentinitsfullstrengthorcontributesitsfullcolour。
Thisproperpridedoesnotlifttheheartlikethetongueoftrumpets；
youcannotgocladincrimsonandgoldforthis。Ontheotherhand，thismildrationalistmodestydoesnotcleansethesoulwithfireandmakeitclearlikecrystal；itdoesnot（likeastrictandsearchinghumility）makeamanasalittlechild，whocansitatthefeetofthegrass。Itdoesnotmakehimlookupandseemarvels；
forAlicemustgrowsmallifsheistobeAliceinWonderland。Thusitlosesboththepoetryofbeingproudandthepoetryofbeinghumble。
Christianitysoughtbythissamestrangeexpedienttosavebothofthem。
Itseparatedthetwoideasandthenexaggeratedthemboth。
InonewayManwastobehaughtierthanhehadeverbeenbefore；
inanotherwayhewastobehumblerthanhehadeverbeenbefore。
InsofarasIamManIamthechiefofcreatures。InsofarasIamamanIamthechiefofsinners。Allhumilitythathadmeantpessimism，thathadmeantmantakingavagueormeanviewofhiswholedestiny——allthatwastogo。WeweretohearnomorethewailofEcclesiastesthathumanityhadnopre-eminenceoverthebrute，ortheawfulcryofHomerthatmanwasonlythesaddestofallthebeastsofthefield。ManwasastatueofGodwalkingaboutthegarden。Manhadpre-eminenceoverallthebrutes；
manwasonlysadbecausehewasnotabeast，butabrokengod。
TheGreekhadspokenofmencreepingontheearth，asifclingingtoit。NowManwastotreadontheearthasiftosubdueit。
Christianitythusheldathoughtofthedignityofmanthatcouldonlybeexpressedincrownsrayedlikethesunandfansofpeacockplumage。
Yetatthesametimeitcouldholdathoughtabouttheabjectsmallnessofmanthatcouldonlybeexpressedinfastingandfantasticsubmission，inthegrayashesofSt。DominicandthewhitesnowsofSt。Bernard。
WhenonecametothinkofONE’SSELF，therewasvistaandvoidenoughforanyamountofbleakabnegationandbittertruth。Theretherealisticgentlemancouldlethimselfgo——aslongashelethimselfgoathimself。Therewasanopenplaygroundforthehappypessimist。
Lethimsayanythingagainsthimselfshortofblasphemingtheoriginalaimofhisbeing；lethimcallhimselfafoolandevenadamnedfool（thoughthatisCalvinistic）；buthemustnotsaythatfoolsarenotworthsaving。Hemustnotsaythataman，QUAman，canbevalueless。Here，againinshort，Christianitygotoverthedifficultyofcombiningfuriousopposites，bykeepingthemboth，andkeepingthembothfurious。TheChurchwaspositiveonbothpoints。
Onecanhardlythinktoolittleofone’sself。Onecanhardlythinktoomuchofone’ssoul。
Takeanothercase：thecomplicatedquestionofcharity，whichsomehighlyuncharitableidealistsseemtothinkquiteeasy。
Charityisaparadox，likemodestyandcourage。Statedbaldly，charitycertainlymeansoneoftwothings——pardoningunpardonableacts，orlovingunlovablepeople。Butifweaskourselves（aswedidinthecaseofpride）whatasensiblepaganwouldfeelaboutsuchasubject，weshallprobablybebeginningatthebottomofit。
Asensiblepaganwouldsaythatthereweresomepeopleonecouldforgive，andsomeonecouldn’t：aslavewhostolewinecouldbelaughedat；
aslavewhobetrayedhisbenefactorcouldbekilled，andcursedevenafterhewaskilled。Insofarastheactwaspardonable，themanwaspardonable。Thatagainisrational，andevenrefreshing；
butitisadilution。Itleavesnoplaceforapurehorrorofinjustice，suchasthatwhichisagreatbeautyintheinnocent。Anditleavesnoplaceforameretendernessformenasmen，suchasisthewholefascinationofthecharitable。Christianitycameinhereasbefore。
Itcameinstartlinglywithasword，andcloveonethingfromanother。
Itdividedthecrimefromthecriminal。Thecriminalwemustforgiveuntoseventytimesseven。Thecrimewemustnotforgiveatall。
Itwasnotenoughthatslaveswhostolewineinspiredpartlyangerandpartlykindness。Wemustbemuchmoreangrywiththeftthanbefore，andyetmuchkindertothievesthanbefore。Therewasroomforwrathandlovetorunwild。AndthemoreIconsideredChristianity，themoreIfoundthatwhileithadestablishedaruleandorder，thechiefaimofthatorderwastogiveroomforgoodthingstorunwild。
Mentalandemotionallibertyarenotsosimpleastheylook。
Reallytheyrequirealmostascarefulabalanceoflawsandconditionsasdosocialandpoliticalliberty。Theordinaryaestheticanarchistwhosetsouttofeeleverythingfreelygetsknottedatlastinaparadoxthatpreventshimfeelingatall。Hebreaksawayfromhomelimitstofollowpoetry。Butinceasingtofeelhomelimitshehasceasedtofeelthe"Odyssey。"Heisfreefromnationalprejudicesandoutsidepatriotism。Butbeingoutsidepatriotismheisoutside"HenryV。"Suchaliterarymanissimplyoutsideallliterature：
heismoreofaprisonerthananybigot。Forifthereisawallbetweenyouandtheworld，itmakeslittledifferencewhetheryoudescribeyourselfaslockedinoraslockedout。Whatwewantisnottheuniversalitythatisoutsideallnormalsentiments；
wewanttheuniversalitythatisinsideallnormalsentiments。
Itisallthedifferencebetweenbeingfreefromthem，asamanisfreefromaprison，andbeingfreeofthemasamanisfreeofacity。IamfreefromWindsorCastle（thatis，Iamnotforciblydetainedthere），butIambynomeansfreeofthatbuilding。
Howcanmanbeapproximatelyfreeoffineemotions，abletoswingtheminaclearspacewithoutbreakageorwrong？THISwastheachievementofthisChristianparadoxoftheparallelpassions。
Grantedtheprimarydogmaofthewarbetweendivineanddiabolic，therevoltandruinoftheworld，theiroptimismandpessimism，aspurepoetry，couldbeloosenedlikecataracts。
St。Francis，inpraisingallgood，couldbeamoreshoutingoptimistthanWaltWhitman。St。Jerome，indenouncingallevil，couldpainttheworldblackerthanSchopenhauer。Bothpassionswerefreebecausebothwerekeptintheirplace。Theoptimistcouldpouroutallthepraisehelikedonthegaymusicofthemarch，thegoldentrumpets，andthepurplebannersgoingintobattle。
Buthemustnotcallthefightneedless。Thepessimistmightdrawasdarklyashechosethesickeningmarchesorthesanguinewounds。
Buthemustnotcallthefighthopeless。Soitwaswithalltheothermoralproblems，withpride，withprotest，andwithcompassion。
Bydefiningitsmaindoctrine，theChurchnotonlykeptseeminglyinconsistentthingssidebyside，but，whatwasmore，allowedthemtobreakoutinasortofartisticviolenceotherwisepossibleonlytoanarchists。Meeknessgrewmoredramaticthanmadness。
HistoricChristianityroseintoahighandstrangeCOUPDETHEATRE
ofmorality——thingsthataretovirtuewhatthecrimesofNeroaretovice。Thespiritsofindignationandofcharitytookterribleandattractiveforms，rangingfromthatmonkishfiercenessthatscourgedlikeadogthefirstandgreatestofthePlantagenets，tothesublimepityofSt。Catherine，who，intheofficialshambles，kissedthebloodyheadofthecriminal。Poetrycouldbeactedaswellascomposed。Thisheroicandmonumentalmannerinethicshasentirelyvanishedwithsupernaturalreligion。They，beinghumble，couldparadethemselves：butwearetooproudtobeprominent。
Ourethicalteacherswritereasonablyforprisonreform；butwearenotlikelytoseeMr。Cadbury，oranyeminentphilanthropist，gointoReadingGaolandembracethestrangledcorpsebeforeitiscastintothequicklime。Ourethicalteacherswritemildlyagainstthepowerofmillionaires；butwearenotlikelytoseeMr。Rockefeller，oranymoderntyrant，publiclywhippedinWestminsterAbbey。
Thus，thedoublechargesofthesecularists，thoughthrowingnothingbutdarknessandconfusiononthemselves，throwareallightonthefaith。ItistruethatthehistoricChurchhasatonceemphasisedcelibacyandemphasisedthefamily；hasatonce（ifonemayputitso）
beenfiercelyforhavingchildrenandfiercelyfornothavingchildren。
Ithaskeptthemsidebysideliketwostrongcolours，redandwhite，liketheredandwhiteupontheshieldofSt。George。Ithasalwayshadahealthyhatredofpink。Ithatesthatcombinationoftwocolourswhichisthefeebleexpedientofthephilosophers。
Ithatesthatevolutionofblackintowhitewhichistantamounttoadirtygray。Infact，thewholetheoryoftheChurchonvirginitymightbesymbolizedinthestatementthatwhiteisacolour：
notmerelytheabsenceofacolour。AllthatIamurgingherecanbeexpressedbysayingthatChristianitysoughtinmostofthesecasestokeeptwocolourscoexistentbutpure。Itisnotamixturelikerussetorpurple；itisratherlikeashotsilk，forashotsilkisalwaysatrightangles，andisinthepatternofthecross。
Soitisalso，ofcourse，withthecontradictorychargesoftheanti-Christiansaboutsubmissionandslaughter。ItIStruethattheChurchtoldsomementofightandothersnottofight；
anditIStruethatthosewhofoughtwerelikethunderboltsandthosewhodidnotfightwerelikestatues。AllthissimplymeansthattheChurchpreferredtouseitsSupermenandtouseitsTolstoyans。TheremustbeSOMEgoodinthelifeofbattle，forsomanygoodmenhaveenjoyedbeingsoldiers。TheremustbeSOMEgoodintheideaofnon-resistance，forsomanygoodmenseemtoenjoybeingQuakers。AllthattheChurchdid（sofarasthatgoes）
wastopreventeitherofthesegoodthingsfromoustingtheother。
Theyexistedsidebyside。TheTolstoyans，havingallthescruplesofmonks，simplybecamemonks。TheQuakersbecameaclubinsteadofbecomingasect。MonkssaidallthatTolstoysays；theypouredoutlucidlamentationsaboutthecrueltyofbattlesandthevanityofrevenge。ButtheTolstoyansarenotquiterightenoughtorunthewholeworld；andintheagesoffaiththeywerenotallowedtorunit。TheworlddidnotlosethelastchargeofSirJamesDouglasorthebannerofJoantheMaid。Andsometimesthispuregentlenessandthispurefiercenessmetandjustifiedtheirjuncture；
theparadoxofalltheprophetswasfulfilled，and，inthesoulofSt。Louis，thelionlaydownwiththelamb。Butrememberthatthistextistoolightlyinterpreted。Itisconstantlyassured，especiallyinourTolstoyantendencies，thatwhenthelionliesdownwiththelambthelionbecomeslamb-like。Butthatisbrutalannexationandimperialismonthepartofthelamb。Thatissimplythelambabsorbingthelioninsteadofthelioneatingthelamb。
Therealproblemis——Canthelionliedownwiththelambandstillretainhisroyalferocity？THATistheproblemtheChurchattempted；
THATisthemiraclesheachieved。
ThisiswhatIhavecalledguessingthehiddeneccentricitiesoflife。Thisisknowingthataman’sheartistotheleftandnotinthemiddle。Thisisknowingnotonlythattheearthisround，butknowingexactlywhereitisflat。Christiandoctrinedetectedtheodditiesoflife。Itnotonlydiscoveredthelaw，butitforesawtheexceptions。ThoseunderrateChristianitywhosaythatitdiscoveredmercy；anyonemightdiscovermercy。Infacteveryonedid。Buttodiscoveraplanforbeingmercifulandalsosevere——
THATwastoanticipateastrangeneedofhumannature。Fornoonewantstobeforgivenforabigsinasifitwerealittleone。
Anyonemightsaythatweshouldbeneitherquitemiserablenorquitehappy。ButtofindouthowfaroneMAYbequitemiserablewithoutmakingitimpossibletobequitehappy——thatwasadiscoveryinpsychology。Anyonemightsay，"Neitherswaggernorgrovel"；
anditwouldhavebeenalimit。Buttosay，"Hereyoucanswaggerandthereyoucangrovel"——thatwasanemancipation。
ThiswasthebigfactaboutChristianethics；thediscoveryofthenewbalance。Paganismhadbeenlikeapillarofmarble，uprightbecauseproportionedwithsymmetry。Christianitywaslikeahugeandraggedandromanticrock，which，thoughitswaysonitspedestalatatouch，yet，becauseitsexaggeratedexcrescencesexactlybalanceeachother，isenthronedthereforathousandyears。
InaGothiccathedralthecolumnswerealldifferent，buttheywereallnecessary。Everysupportseemedanaccidentalandfantasticsupport；
everybuttresswasaflyingbuttress。SoinChristendomapparentaccidentsbalanced。Becketworeahairshirtunderhisgoldandcrimson，andthereismuchtobesaidforthecombination；
forBecketgotthebenefitofthehairshirtwhilethepeopleinthestreetgotthebenefitofthecrimsonandgold。Itisatleastbetterthanthemannerofthemodernmillionaire，whohastheblackandthedraboutwardlyforothers，andthegoldnexthisheart。
Butthebalancewasnotalwaysinoneman’sbodyasinBecket’s；
thebalancewasoftendistributedoverthewholebodyofChristendom。
BecauseamanprayedandfastedontheNorthernsnows，flowerscouldbeflungathisfestivalintheSoutherncities；andbecausefanaticsdrankwateronthesandsofSyria，mencouldstilldrinkciderintheorchardsofEngland。ThisiswhatmakesChristendomatoncesomuchmoreperplexingandsomuchmoreinterestingthanthePaganempire；
justasAmiensCathedralisnotbetterbutmoreinterestingthantheParthenon。Ifanyonewantsamodernproofofallthis，lethimconsiderthecuriousfactthat，underChristianity，Europe（whileremainingaunity）hasbrokenupintoindividualnations。
Patriotismisaperfectexampleofthisdeliberatebalancingofoneemphasisagainstanotheremphasis。TheinstinctofthePaganempirewouldhavesaid，"YoushallallbeRomancitizens，andgrowalike；lettheGermangrowlessslowandreverent；
theFrenchmenlessexperimentalandswift。"ButtheinstinctofChristianEuropesays，"LettheGermanremainslowandreverent，thattheFrenchmanmaythemoresafelybeswiftandexperimental。
Wewillmakeanequipoiseoutoftheseexcesses。TheabsurditycalledGermanyshallcorrecttheinsanitycalledFrance。"
Lastandmostimportant，itisexactlythiswhichexplainswhatissoinexplicabletoallthemoderncriticsofthehistoryofChristianity。Imeanthemonstrouswarsaboutsmallpointsoftheology，theearthquakesofemotionaboutagestureoraword。
Itwasonlyamatterofaninch；butaninchiseverythingwhenyouarebalancing。TheChurchcouldnotaffordtoswerveahair’sbreadthonsomethingsifshewastocontinuehergreatanddaringexperimentoftheirregularequilibrium。Onceletoneideabecomelesspowerfulandsomeotherideawouldbecometoopowerful。ItwasnoflockofsheeptheChristianshepherdwasleading，butaherdofbullsandtigers，ofterribleidealsanddevouringdoctrines，eachoneofthemstrongenoughtoturntoafalsereligionandlaywastetheworld。
RememberthattheChurchwentinspecificallyfordangerousideas；
shewasaliontamer。TheideaofbirththroughaHolySpirit，ofthedeathofadivinebeing，oftheforgivenessofsins，orthefulfilmentofprophecies，areideaswhich，anyonecansee，needbutatouchtoturnthemintosomethingblasphemousorferocious。
ThesmallestlinkwasletdropbytheartificersoftheMediterranean，andthelionofancestralpessimismbursthischainintheforgottenforestsofthenorth。OfthesetheologicalequalisationsIhavetospeakafterwards。Hereitisenoughtonoticethatifsomesmallmistakeweremadeindoctrine，hugeblundersmightbemadeinhumanhappiness。AsentencephrasedwrongaboutthenatureofsymbolismwouldhavebrokenallthebeststatuesinEurope。
Aslipinthedefinitionsmightstopallthedances；mightwitheralltheChristmastreesorbreakalltheEastereggs。Doctrineshadtobedefinedwithinstrictlimits，eveninorderthatmanmightenjoygeneralhumanliberties。TheChurchhadtobecareful，ifonlythattheworldmightbecareless。
ThisisthethrillingromanceofOrthodoxy。Peoplehavefallenintoafoolishhabitofspeakingoforthodoxyassomethingheavy，humdrum，andsafe。Thereneverwasanythingsoperilousorsoexcitingasorthodoxy。Itwassanity：andtobesaneismoredramaticthantobemad。Itwastheequilibriumofamanbehindmadlyrushinghorses，seemingtostoopthiswayandtoswaythat，yetineveryattitudehavingthegraceofstatuaryandtheaccuracyofarithmetic。
TheChurchinitsearlydayswentfierceandfastwithanywarhorse；
yetitisutterlyunhistorictosaythatshemerelywentmadalongoneidea，likeavulgarfanaticism。Sheswervedtoleftandright，soexactlyastoavoidenormousobstacles。SheleftononehandthehugebulkofArianism，buttressedbyalltheworldlypowerstomakeChristianitytooworldly。Thenextinstantshewasswervingtoavoidanorientalism，whichwouldhavemadeittoounworldly。
TheorthodoxChurchnevertookthetamecourseoracceptedtheconventions；theorthodoxChurchwasneverrespectable。ItwouldhavebeeneasiertohaveacceptedtheearthlypoweroftheArians。
Itwouldhavebeeneasy，intheCalvinisticseventeenthcentury，tofallintothebottomlesspitofpredestination。Itiseasytobeamadman：itiseasytobeaheretic。Itisalwayseasytolettheagehaveitshead；thedifficultthingistokeepone’sown。
Itisalwayseasytobeamodernist；asitiseasytobeasnob。
TohavefallenintoanyofthoseopentrapsoferrorandexaggerationwhichfashionafterfashionandsectaftersectsetalongthehistoricpathofChristendom——thatwouldindeedhavebeensimple。
Itisalwayssimpletofall；thereareaninfinityofanglesatwhichonefalls，onlyoneatwhichonestands。TohavefallenintoanyoneofthefadsfromGnosticismtoChristianSciencewouldindeedhavebeenobviousandtame。Buttohaveavoidedthemallhasbeenonewhirlingadventure；andinmyvisiontheheavenlychariotfliesthunderingthroughtheages，thedullheresiessprawlingandprostrate，thewildtruthreelingbuterect。
VIITHEETERNALREVOLUTION
Thefollowingpropositionshavebeenurged：First，thatsomefaithinourlifeisrequiredeventoimproveit；second，thatsomedissatisfactionwiththingsastheyareisnecessaryeveninordertobesatisfied；third，thattohavethisnecessarycontentandnecessarydiscontentitisnotsufficienttohavetheobviousequilibriumoftheStoic。Formereresignationhasneitherthegiganticlevityofpleasurenorthesuperbintoleranceofpain。
Thereisavitalobjectiontotheadvicemerelytogrinandbearit。
Theobjectionisthatifyoumerelybearit，youdonotgrin。
Greekheroesdonotgrin：butgargoylesdo——becausetheyareChristian。
AndwhenaChristianispleased，heis（inthemostexactsense）
frightfullypleased；hispleasureisfrightful。ChristprophesiedthewholeofGothicarchitectureinthathourwhennervousandrespectablepeople（suchpeopleasnowobjecttobarrelorgans）
objectedtotheshoutingofthegutter-snipesofJerusalem。
Hesaid，"Iftheseweresilent，theverystoneswouldcryout。"
UndertheimpulseofHisspiritaroselikeaclamorouschorusthefacadesofthemediaevalcathedrals，throngedwithshoutingfacesandopenmouths。Theprophecyhasfulfilleditself：theverystonescryout。
Ifthesethingsbeconceded，thoughonlyforargument，wemaytakeupwhereweleftitthethreadofthethoughtofthenaturalman，calledbytheScotch（withregrettablefamiliarity），"TheOldMan。"Wecanaskthenextquestionsoobviouslyinfrontofus。Somesatisfactionisneededeventomakethingsbetter。
Butwhatdowemeanbymakingthingsbetter？Mostmoderntalkonthismatterisamereargumentinacircle——thatcirclewhichwehavealreadymadethesymbolofmadnessandofmererationalism。
Evolutionisonlygoodifitproducesgood；goodisonlygoodifithelpsevolution。Theelephantstandsonthetortoise，andthetortoiseontheelephant。
Obviously，itwillnotdototakeouridealfromtheprincipleinnature；forthesimplereasonthat（exceptforsomehumanordivinetheory），thereisnoprincipleinnature。Forinstance，thecheapanti-democratofto-daywilltellyousolemnlythatthereisnoequalityinnature。Heisright，buthedoesnotseethelogicaladdendum。Thereisnoequalityinnature；alsothereisnoinequalityinnature。Inequality，asmuchasequality，impliesastandardofvalue。Toreadaristocracyintotheanarchyofanimalsisjustassentimentalastoreaddemocracyintoit。
Botharistocracyanddemocracyarehumanideals：theonesayingthatallmenarevaluable，theotherthatsomemenaremorevaluable。