第4章

Therewassomethingpersonalintheworld，asinaworkofart；

whateveritmeantitmeantviolently。Third，Ithoughtthispurposebeautifulinitsolddesign，inspiteofitsdefects，suchasdragons。Fourth，thattheproperformofthankstoitissomeformofhumilityandrestraint：weshouldthankGodforbeerandBurgundybynotdrinkingtoomuchofthem。Weowed，also，anobediencetowhatevermadeus。Andlast，andstrangest，therehadcomeintomymindavagueandvastimpressionthatinsomewayallgoodwasaremnanttobestoredandheldsacredoutofsomeprimordialruin。ManhadsavedhisgoodasCrusoesavedhisgoods：

hehadsavedthemfromawreck。AllthisIfeltandtheagegavemenoencouragementtofeelit。AndallthistimeIhadnoteventhoughtofChristiantheology。

VTHEFLAGOFTHEWORLD

WhenIwasaboythereweretwocuriousmenrunningaboutwhowerecalledtheoptimistandthepessimist。Iconstantlyusedthewordsmyself，butIcheerfullyconfessthatIneverhadanyveryspecialideaofwhattheymeant。Theonlythingwhichmightbeconsideredevidentwasthattheycouldnotmeanwhattheysaid；

fortheordinaryverbalexplanationwasthattheoptimistthoughtthisworldasgoodasitcouldbe，whilethepessimistthoughtitasbadasitcouldbe。Boththesestatementsbeingobviouslyravingnonsense，onehadtocastaboutforotherexplanations。

Anoptimistcouldnotmeanamanwhothoughteverythingrightandnothingwrong。Forthatismeaningless；itislikecallingeverythingrightandnothingleft。Uponthewhole，Icametotheconclusionthattheoptimistthoughteverythinggoodexceptthepessimist，andthatthepessimistthoughteverythingbad，excepthimself。

Itwouldbeunfairtoomitaltogetherfromthelistthemysteriousbutsuggestivedefinitionsaidtohavebeengivenbyalittlegirl，"Anoptimistisamanwholooksafteryoureyes，andapessimistisamanwholooksafteryourfeet。"Iamnotsurethatthisisnotthebestdefinitionofall。Thereisevenasortofallegoricaltruthinit。Fortheremight，perhaps，beaprofitabledistinctiondrawnbetweenthatmoredrearythinkerwhothinksmerelyofourcontactwiththeearthfrommomenttomoment，andthathappierthinkerwhoconsidersratherourprimarypowerofvisionandofchoiceofroad。

Butthisisadeepmistakeinthisalternativeoftheoptimistandthepessimist。Theassumptionofitisthatamancriticisesthisworldasifhewerehouse-hunting，asifhewerebeingshownoveranewsuiteofapartments。Ifamancametothisworldfromsomeotherworldinfullpossessionofhispowershemightdiscusswhethertheadvantageofmidsummerwoodsmadeupforthedisadvantageofmaddogs，justasamanlookingforlodgingsmightbalancethepresenceofatelephoneagainsttheabsenceofaseaview。

Butnomanisinthatposition。Amanbelongstothisworldbeforehebeginstoaskifitisnicetobelongtoit。Hehasfoughtfortheflag，andoftenwonheroicvictoriesfortheflaglongbeforehehaseverenlisted。Toputshortlywhatseemstheessentialmatter，hehasaloyaltylongbeforehehasanyadmiration。

Inthelastchapterithasbeensaidthattheprimaryfeelingthatthisworldisstrangeandyetattractiveisbestexpressedinfairytales。Thereadermay，ifhelikes，putdownthenextstagetothatbellicoseandevenjingoliteraturewhichcommonlycomesnextinthehistoryofaboy。Weallowemuchsoundmoralitytothepennydreadfuls。Whateverthereason，itseemedandstillseemstomethatourattitudetowardslifecanbebetterexpressedintermsofakindofmilitaryloyaltythanintermsofcriticismandapproval。Myacceptanceoftheuniverseisnotoptimism，itismorelikepatriotism。Itisamatterofprimaryloyalty。

Theworldisnotalodging-houseatBrighton，whichwearetoleavebecauseitismiserable。Itisthefortressofourfamily，withtheflagflyingontheturret，andthemoremiserableitisthelessweshouldleaveit。Thepointisnotthatthisworldistoosadtoloveortoogladnottolove；thepointisthatwhenyoudoloveathing，itsgladnessisareasonforlovingit，anditssadnessareasonforlovingitmore。AlloptimisticthoughtsaboutEnglandandallpessimisticthoughtsaboutherarealikereasonsfortheEnglishpatriot。Similarly，optimismandpessimismarealikeargumentsforthecosmicpatriot。

Letussupposeweareconfrontedwithadesperatething——

sayPimlico。IfwethinkwhatisreallybestforPimlicoweshallfindthethreadofthoughtleadstothethroneorthemysticandthearbitrary。ItisnotenoughforamantodisapproveofPimlico：

inthatcasehewillmerelycuthisthroatormovetoChelsea。

Nor，certainly，isitenoughforamantoapproveofPimlico：

forthenitwillremainPimlico，whichwouldbeawful。

TheonlywayoutofitseemstobeforsomebodytolovePimlico：

toloveitwithatranscendentaltieandwithoutanyearthlyreason。

IftherearoseamanwholovedPimlico，thenPimlicowouldriseintoivorytowersandgoldenpinnacles；Pimlicowouldattireherselfasawomandoeswhensheisloved。Fordecorationisnotgiventohidehorriblethings：buttodecoratethingsalreadyadorable。

Amotherdoesnotgiveherchildabluebowbecauseheissouglywithoutit。Aloverdoesnotgiveagirlanecklacetohideherneck。

IfmenlovedPimlicoasmotherslovechildren，arbitrarily，becauseitisTHEIRS，PimlicoinayearortwomightbefairerthanFlorence。

Somereaderswillsaythatthisisamerefantasy。Ianswerthatthisistheactualhistoryofmankind。This，asafact，ishowcitiesdidgrowgreat。Gobacktothedarkestrootsofcivilizationandyouwillfindthemknottedroundsomesacredstoneorencirclingsomesacredwell。Peoplefirstpaidhonourtoaspotandafterwardsgainedgloryforit。MendidnotloveRomebecauseshewasgreat。

Shewasgreatbecausetheyhadlovedher。

Theeighteenth-centurytheoriesofthesocialcontracthavebeenexposedtomuchclumsycriticisminourtime；insofarastheymeantthatthereisatthebackofallhistoricgovernmentanideaofcontentandco-operation，theyweredemonstrablyright。

Buttheyreallywerewrong，insofarastheysuggestedthatmenhadeveraimedatorderorethicsdirectlybyaconsciousexchangeofinterests。Moralitydidnotbeginbyonemansayingtoanother，"Iwillnothityouifyoudonothitme"；thereisnotraceofsuchatransaction。ThereISatraceofbothmenhavingsaid，"Wemustnothiteachotherintheholyplace。"Theygainedtheirmoralitybyguardingtheirreligion。Theydidnotcultivatecourage。

Theyfoughtfortheshrine，andfoundtheyhadbecomecourageous。

Theydidnotcultivatecleanliness。Theypurifiedthemselvesforthealtar，andfoundthattheywereclean。ThehistoryoftheJewsistheonlyearlydocumentknowntomostEnglishmen，andthefactscanbejudgedsufficientlyfromthat。TheTenCommandmentswhichhavebeenfoundsubstantiallycommontomankindweremerelymilitarycommands；

acodeofregimentalorders，issuedtoprotectacertainarkacrossacertaindesert。Anarchywasevilbecauseitendangeredthesanctity。

AndonlywhentheymadeaholydayforGoddidtheyfindtheyhadmadeaholidayformen。

Ifitbegrantedthatthisprimarydevotiontoaplaceorthingisasourceofcreativeenergy，wecanpassontoaverypeculiarfact。

Letusreiterateforaninstantthattheonlyrightoptimismisasortofuniversalpatriotism。Whatisthematterwiththepessimist？

Ithinkitcanbestatedbysayingthatheisthecosmicanti-patriot。

Andwhatisthematterwiththeanti-patriot？Ithinkitcanbestated，withoutunduebitterness，bysayingthatheisthecandidfriend。

Andwhatisthematterwiththecandidfriend？Therewestriketherockofreallifeandimmutablehumannature。

Iventuretosaythatwhatisbadinthecandidfriendissimplythatheisnotcandid。Heiskeepingsomethingback——

hisowngloomypleasureinsayingunpleasantthings。Hehasasecretdesiretohurt，notmerelytohelp。Thisiscertainly，Ithink，whatmakesacertainsortofanti-patriotirritatingtohealthycitizens。Idonotspeak（ofcourse）oftheanti-patriotismwhichonlyirritatesfeverishstockbrokersandgushingactresses；

thatisonlypatriotismspeakingplainly。AmanwhosaysthatnopatriotshouldattacktheBoerWaruntilitisoverisnotworthansweringintelligently；heissayingthatnogoodsonshouldwarnhismotheroffacliffuntilshehasfallenoverit。

Butthereisananti-patriotwhohonestlyangershonestmen，andtheexplanationofhimis，Ithink，whatIhavesuggested：

heistheuncandidcandidfriend；themanwhosays，"Iamsorrytosayweareruined，"andisnotsorryatall。Andhemaybesaid，withoutrhetoric，tobeatraitor；forheisusingthatuglyknowledgewhichwasallowedhimtostrengthenthearmy，todiscouragepeoplefromjoiningit。Becauseheisallowedtobepessimisticasamilitaryadviserheisbeingpessimisticasarecruitingsergeant。

Justinthesamewaythepessimist（whoisthecosmicanti-patriot）

usesthefreedomthatlifeallowstohercounsellorstolureawaythepeoplefromherflag。Grantedthathestatesonlyfacts，itisstillessentialtoknowwhatarehisemotions，whatishismotive。

ItmaybethattwelvehundredmeninTottenhamaredownwithsmallpox；

butwewanttoknowwhetherthisisstatedbysomegreatphilosopherwhowantstocursethegods，oronlybysomecommonclergymanwhowantstohelpthemen。

Theevilofthepessimistis，then，notthathechastisesgodsandmen，butthathedoesnotlovewhathechastises——hehasnotthisprimaryandsupernaturalloyaltytothings。Whatistheevilofthemancommonlycalledanoptimist？Obviously，itisfeltthattheoptimist，wishingtodefendthehonourofthisworld，willdefendtheindefensible。Heisthejingooftheuniverse；

hewillsay，"Mycosmos，rightorwrong。"Hewillbelessinclinedtothereformofthings；moreinclinedtoasortoffront-benchofficialanswertoallattacks，soothingeveryonewithassurances。

Hewillnotwashtheworld，butwhitewashtheworld。Allthis（whichistrueofatypeofoptimist）leadsustotheonereallyinterestingpointofpsychology，whichcouldnotbeexplainedwithoutit。

Wesaytheremustbeaprimalloyaltytolife：theonlyquestionis，shallitbeanaturalorasupernaturalloyalty？

Ifyouliketoputitso，shallitbeareasonableoranunreasonableloyalty？Now，theextraordinarythingisthatthebadoptimism（thewhitewashing，theweakdefenceofeverything）

comesinwiththereasonableoptimism。Rationaloptimismleadstostagnation：itisirrationaloptimismthatleadstoreform。

Letmeexplainbyusingoncemoretheparallelofpatriotism。

Themanwhoismostlikelytoruintheplacehelovesisexactlythemanwholovesitwithareason。Themanwhowillimprovetheplaceisthemanwholovesitwithoutareason。IfamanlovessomefeatureofPimlico（whichseemsunlikely），hemayfindhimselfdefendingthatfeatureagainstPimlicoitself。ButifhesimplylovesPimlicoitself，hemaylayitwasteandturnitintotheNewJerusalem。

Idonotdenythatreformmaybeexcessive；Ionlysaythatitisthemysticpatriotwhoreforms。Merejingoself-contentmentiscommonestamongthosewhohavesomepedanticreasonfortheirpatriotism。

TheworstjingoesdonotloveEngland，butatheoryofEngland。

IfweloveEnglandforbeinganempire，wemayoverratethesuccesswithwhichweruletheHindoos。Butifweloveitonlyforbeinganation，wecanfaceallevents：foritwouldbeanationeveniftheHindoosruledus。Thusalsoonlythosewillpermittheirpatriotismtofalsifyhistorywhosepatriotismdependsonhistory。

AmanwholovesEnglandforbeingEnglishwillnotmindhowshearose。

ButamanwholovesEnglandforbeingAnglo-Saxonmaygoagainstallfactsforhisfancy。Hemayend（likeCarlyleandFreeman）

bymaintainingthattheNormanConquestwasaSaxonConquest。

Hemayendinutterunreason——becausehehasareason。AmanwholovesFranceforbeingmilitarywillpalliatethearmyof1870。

ButamanwholovesFranceforbeingFrancewillimprovethearmyof1870。ThisisexactlywhattheFrenchhavedone，andFranceisagoodinstanceoftheworkingparadox。Nowhereelseispatriotismmorepurelyabstractandarbitrary；andnowhereelseisreformmoredrasticandsweeping。Themoretranscendentalisyourpatriotism，themorepracticalareyourpolitics。

Perhapsthemosteverydayinstanceofthispointisinthecaseofwomen；andtheirstrangeandstrongloyalty。Somestupidpeoplestartedtheideathatbecausewomenobviouslybackuptheirownpeoplethrougheverything，thereforewomenareblindanddonotseeanything。Theycanhardlyhaveknownanywomen。Thesamewomenwhoarereadytodefendtheirmenthroughthickandthinare（intheirpersonalintercoursewiththeman）almostmorbidlylucidaboutthethinnessofhisexcusesorthethicknessofhishead。

Aman’sfriendlikeshimbutleaveshimasheis：hiswifeloveshimandisalwaystryingtoturnhimintosomebodyelse。Womenwhoareuttermysticsintheircreedareuttercynicsintheircriticism。

ThackerayexpressedthiswellwhenhemadePendennis’mother，whoworshippedhersonasagod，yetassumethathewouldgowrongasaman。Sheunderratedhisvirtue，thoughsheoverratedhisvalue。

Thedevoteeisentirelyfreetocriticise；thefanaticcansafelybeasceptic。Loveisnotblind；thatisthelastthingthatitis。

Loveisbound；andthemoreitisboundthelessitisblind。

Thisatleasthadcometobemypositionaboutallthatwascalledoptimism，pessimism，andimprovement。Beforeanycosmicactofreformwemusthaveacosmicoathofallegiance。

Amanmustbeinterestedinlife，thenhecouldbedisinterestedinhisviewsofit。"Mysongivemethyheart"；theheartmustbefixedontherightthing：themomentwehaveafixedheartwehaveafreehand。Imustpausetoanticipateanobviouscriticism。

Itwillbesaidthatarationalpersonacceptstheworldasmixedofgoodandevilwithadecentsatisfactionandadecentendurance。

ButthisisexactlytheattitudewhichImaintaintobedefective。

Itis，Iknow，verycommoninthisage；itwasperfectlyputinthosequietlinesofMatthewArnoldwhicharemorepiercinglyblasphemousthantheshrieksofSchopenhauer——

"Enoughwelive：——andifalife，Withlargeresultssolittlerife，Thoughbearable，seemhardlyworthThispompofworlds，thispainofbirth。"

Iknowthisfeelingfillsourepoch，andIthinkitfreezesourepoch。ForourTitanicpurposesoffaithandrevolution，whatweneedisnotthecoldacceptanceoftheworldasacompromise，butsomewayinwhichwecanheartilyhateandheartilyloveit。

Wedonotwantjoyandangertoneutralizeeachotherandproduceasurlycontentment；wewantafiercerdelightandafiercerdiscontent。

Wehavetofeeltheuniverseatonceasanogre’scastle，tobestormed，andyetasourowncottage，towhichwecanreturnatevening。

Noonedoubtsthatanordinarymancangetonwiththisworld：

butwedemandnotstrengthenoughtogetonwithit，butstrengthenoughtogetiton。Canhehateitenoughtochangeit，andyetloveitenoughtothinkitworthchanging？Canhelookupatitscolossalgoodwithoutoncefeelingacquiescence？

Canhelookupatitscolossalevilwithoutoncefeelingdespair？

Canhe，inshort，beatoncenotonlyapessimistandanoptimist，butafanaticalpessimistandafanaticaloptimist？Isheenoughofapagantodiefortheworld，andenoughofaChristiantodietoit？

Inthiscombination，Imaintain，itistherationaloptimistwhofails，theirrationaloptimistwhosucceeds。Heisreadytosmashthewholeuniverseforthesakeofitself。

Iputthesethingsnotintheirmaturelogicalsequence，butastheycame：andthisviewwasclearedandsharpenedbyanaccidentofthetime。UnderthelengtheningshadowofIbsen，anargumentarosewhetheritwasnotaverynicethingtomurderone’sself。

Gravemodernstoldusthatwemustnotevensay"poorfellow，"

ofamanwhohadblownhisbrainsout，sincehewasanenviableperson，andhadonlyblownthemoutbecauseoftheirexceptionalexcellence。

Mr。WilliamArcherevensuggestedthatinthegoldenagetherewouldbepenny-in-the-slotmachines，bywhichamancouldkillhimselfforapenny。InallthisIfoundmyselfutterlyhostiletomanywhocalledthemselvesliberalandhumane。Notonlyissuicideasin，itisthesin。Itistheultimateandabsoluteevil，therefusaltotakeaninterestinexistence；therefusaltotaketheoathofloyaltytolife。Themanwhokillsaman，killsaman。

Themanwhokillshimself，killsallmen；asfarasheisconcernedhewipesouttheworld。Hisactisworse（symbolicallyconsidered）

thananyrapeordynamiteoutrage。Foritdestroysallbuildings：

itinsultsallwomen。Thethiefissatisfiedwithdiamonds；

butthesuicideisnot：thatishiscrime。Hecannotbebribed，evenbytheblazingstonesoftheCelestialCity。Thethiefcomplimentsthethingshesteals，ifnottheownerofthem。

Butthesuicideinsultseverythingonearthbynotstealingit。

Hedefileseveryflowerbyrefusingtoliveforitssake。

Thereisnotatinycreatureinthecosmosatwhomhisdeathisnotasneer。Whenamanhangshimselfonatree，theleavesmightfalloffinangerandthebirdsflyawayinfury：

foreachhasreceivedapersonalaffront。Ofcoursetheremaybepatheticemotionalexcusesfortheact。Thereoftenareforrape，andtherealmostalwaysarefordynamite。Butifitcomestoclearideasandtheintelligentmeaningofthings，thenthereismuchmorerationalandphilosophictruthintheburialatthecross-roadsandthestakedriventhroughthebody，thaninMr。Archer’ssuicidalautomaticmachines。Thereisameaninginburyingthesuicideapart。

Theman’scrimeisdifferentfromothercrimes——foritmakesevencrimesimpossible。

AboutthesametimeIreadasolemnflippancybysomefreethinker：

hesaidthatasuicidewasonlythesameasamartyr。Theopenfallacyofthishelpedtoclearthequestion。Obviouslyasuicideistheoppositeofamartyr。Amartyrisamanwhocaressomuchforsomethingoutsidehim，thatheforgetshisownpersonallife。

Asuicideisamanwhocaressolittleforanythingoutsidehim，thathewantstoseethelastofeverything。Onewantssomethingtobegin：theotherwantseverythingtoend。Inotherwords，themartyrisnoble，exactlybecause（howeverherenouncestheworldorexecratesallhumanity）heconfessesthisultimatelinkwithlife；

hesetshisheartoutsidehimself：hediesthatsomethingmaylive。

Thesuicideisignoblebecausehehasnotthislinkwithbeing：

heisameredestroyer；spiritually，hedestroystheuniverse。

AndthenIrememberedthestakeandthecross-roads，andthequeerfactthatChristianityhadshownthisweirdharshnesstothesuicide。

ForChristianityhadshownawildencouragementofthemartyr。

HistoricChristianitywasaccused，notentirelywithoutreason，ofcarryingmartyrdomandasceticismtoapoint，desolateandpessimistic。TheearlyChristianmartyrstalkedofdeathwithahorriblehappiness。Theyblasphemedthebeautifuldutiesofthebody：theysmeltthegraveafarofflikeafieldofflowers。

Allthishasseemedtomanytheverypoetryofpessimism。YetthereisthestakeatthecrossroadstoshowwhatChristianitythoughtofthepessimist。

ThiswasthefirstofthelongtrainofenigmaswithwhichChristianityenteredthediscussion。AndtherewentwithitapeculiarityofwhichIshallhavetospeakmoremarkedly，asanoteofallChristiannotions，butwhichdistinctlybeganinthisone。

TheChristianattitudetothemartyrandthesuicidewasnotwhatissooftenaffirmedinmodernmorals。Itwasnotamatterofdegree。

Itwasnotthatalinemustbedrawnsomewhere，andthattheself-slayerinexaltationfellwithintheline，theself-slayerinsadnessjustbeyondit。TheChristianfeelingevidentlywasnotmerelythatthesuicidewascarryingmartyrdomtoofar。

TheChristianfeelingwasfuriouslyforoneandfuriouslyagainsttheother：thesetwothingsthatlookedsomuchalikewereatoppositeendsofheavenandhell。Onemanflungawayhislife；

hewassogoodthathisdrybonescouldhealcitiesinpestilence。

Anothermanflungawaylife；hewassobadthathisboneswouldpollutehisbrethren’s。Iamnotsayingthisfiercenesswasright；

butwhywasitsofierce？

HereitwasthatIfirstfoundthatmywanderingfeetwereinsomebeatentrack。Christianityhadalsofeltthisoppositionofthemartyrtothesuicide：haditperhapsfeltitforthesamereason？HadChristianityfeltwhatIfelt，butcouldnot（andcannot）express——thisneedforafirstloyaltytothings，andthenforaruinousreformofthings？ThenIrememberedthatitwasactuallythechargeagainstChristianitythatitcombinedthesetwothingswhichIwaswildlytryingtocombine。

Christianitywasaccused，atoneandthesametime，ofbeingtoooptimisticabouttheuniverseandofbeingtoopessimisticabouttheworld。Thecoincidencemademesuddenlystandstill。

Animbecilehabithasariseninmoderncontroversyofsayingthatsuchandsuchacreedcanbeheldinoneagebutcannotbeheldinanother。Somedogma，wearetold，wascredibleinthetwelfthcentury，butisnotcredibleinthetwentieth。

YoumightaswellsaythatacertainphilosophycanbebelievedonMondays，butcannotbebelievedonTuesdays。Youmightaswellsayofaviewofthecosmosthatitwassuitabletohalf-pastthree，butnotsuitabletohalf-pastfour。Whatamancanbelievedependsuponhisphilosophy，notupontheclockorthecentury。

Ifamanbelievesinunalterablenaturallaw，hecannotbelieveinanymiracleinanyage。Ifamanbelievesinawillbehindlaw，hecanbelieveinanymiracleinanyage。Suppose，forthesakeofargument，weareconcernedwithacaseofthaumaturgichealing。

Amaterialistofthetwelfthcenturycouldnotbelieveitanymorethanamaterialistofthetwentiethcentury。ButaChristianScientistofthetwentiethcenturycanbelieveitasmuchasaChristianofthetwelfthcentury。Itissimplyamatterofaman’stheoryofthings。Thereforeindealingwithanyhistoricalanswer，thepointisnotwhetheritwasgiveninourtime，butwhetheritwasgiveninanswertoourquestion。AndthemoreIthoughtaboutwhenandhowChristianityhadcomeintotheworld，themoreIfeltthatithadactuallycometoanswerthisquestion。

ItiscommonlythelooseandlatitudinarianChristianswhopayquiteindefensiblecomplimentstoChristianity。TheytalkasiftherehadneverbeenanypietyorpityuntilChristianitycame，apointonwhichanymediaevalwouldhavebeeneagertocorrectthem。

TheyrepresentthattheremarkablethingaboutChristianitywasthatitwasthefirsttopreachsimplicityorself-restraint，orinwardnessandsincerity。Theywillthinkmeverynarrow（whateverthatmeans）

ifIsaythattheremarkablethingaboutChristianitywasthatitwasthefirsttopreachChristianity。Itspeculiaritywasthatitwaspeculiar，andsimplicityandsincerityarenotpeculiar，butobviousidealsforallmankind。Christianitywastheanswertoariddle，notthelasttruismutteredafteralongtalk。

OnlytheotherdayIsawinanexcellentweeklypaperofPuritantonethisremark，thatChristianitywhenstrippedofitsarmourofdogma（aswhoshouldspeakofamanstrippedofhisarmourofbones），turnedouttobenothingbuttheQuakerdoctrineoftheInnerLight。

Now，ifIweretosaythatChristianitycameintotheworldspeciallytodestroythedoctrineoftheInnerLight，thatwouldbeanexaggeration。Butitwouldbeverymuchnearertothetruth。

ThelastStoics，likeMarcusAurelius，wereexactlythepeoplewhodidbelieveintheInnerLight。Theirdignity，theirweariness，theirsadexternalcareforothers，theirincurableinternalcareforthemselves，wereallduetotheInnerLight，andexistedonlybythatdismalillumination。NoticethatMarcusAureliusinsists，assuchintrospectivemoralistsalwaysdo，uponsmallthingsdoneorundone；itisbecausehehasnothateorloveenoughtomakeamoralrevolution。Hegetsupearlyinthemorning，justasourownaristocratslivingtheSimpleLifegetupearlyinthemorning；

becausesuchaltruismismucheasierthanstoppingthegamesoftheamphitheatreorgivingtheEnglishpeoplebacktheirland。

MarcusAureliusisthemostintolerableofhumantypes。Heisanunselfishegoist。Anunselfishegoistisamanwhohaspridewithouttheexcuseofpassion。OfallconceivableformsofenlightenmenttheworstiswhatthesepeoplecalltheInnerLight。Ofallhorriblereligionsthemosthorribleistheworshipofthegodwithin。

Anyonewhoknowsanybodyknowshowitwouldwork；anyonewhoknowsanyonefromtheHigherThoughtCentreknowshowitdoeswork。

ThatJonesshallworshipthegodwithinhimturnsoutultimatelytomeanthatJonesshallworshipJones。LetJonesworshipthesunormoon，anythingratherthantheInnerLight；letJonesworshipcatsorcrocodiles，ifhecanfindanyinhisstreet，butnotthegodwithin。Christianitycameintotheworldfirstlyinordertoassertwithviolencethatamanhadnotonlytolookinwards，buttolookoutwards，tobeholdwithastonishmentandenthusiasmadivinecompanyandadivinecaptain。TheonlyfunofbeingaChristianwasthatamanwasnotleftalonewiththeInnerLight，butdefinitelyrecognizedanouterlight，fairasthesun，clearasthemoon，terribleasanarmywithbanners。

Allthesame，itwillbeaswellifJonesdoesnotworshipthesunandmoon。Ifhedoes，thereisatendencyforhimtoimitatethem；

tosay，thatbecausethesunburnsinsectsalive，hemayburninsectsalive。Hethinksthatbecausethesungivespeoplesun-stroke，hemaygivehisneighbourmeasles。Hethinksthatbecausethemoonissaidtodrivemenmad，hemaydrivehiswifemad。Thisuglysideofmereexternaloptimismhadalsoshownitselfintheancientworld。

AboutthetimewhentheStoicidealismhadbeguntoshowtheweaknessesofpessimism，theoldnatureworshipoftheancientshadbeguntoshowtheenormousweaknessesofoptimism。Natureworshipisnaturalenoughwhilethesocietyisyoung，or，inotherwords，PantheismisallrightaslongasitistheworshipofPan。

ButNaturehasanothersidewhichexperienceandsinarenotslowinfindingout，anditisnoflippancytosayofthegodPanthathesoonshowedtheclovenhoof。TheonlyobjectiontoNaturalReligionisthatsomehowitalwaysbecomesunnatural。AmanlovesNatureinthemorningforherinnocenceandamiability，andatnightfall，ifheislovingherstill，itisforherdarknessandhercruelty。

HewashesatdawninclearwaterasdidtheWiseManoftheStoics，yet，somehowatthedarkendoftheday，heisbathinginhotbull’sblood，asdidJuliantheApostate。Themerepursuitofhealthalwaysleadstosomethingunhealthy。Physicalnaturemustnotbemadethedirectobjectofobedience；itmustbeenjoyed，notworshipped。Starsandmountainsmustnotbetakenseriously。

Iftheyare，weendwherethepagannatureworshipended。

Becausetheearthiskind，wecanimitateallhercruelties。

Becausesexualityissane，wecanallgomadaboutsexuality。

Mereoptimismhadreacheditsinsaneandappropriatetermination。

Thetheorythateverythingwasgoodhadbecomeanorgyofeverythingthatwasbad。

OntheothersideouridealistpessimistswererepresentedbytheoldremnantoftheStoics。MarcusAureliusandhisfriendshadreallygivenuptheideaofanygodintheuniverseandlookedonlytothegodwithin。Theyhadnohopeofanyvirtueinnature，andhardlyanyhopeofanyvirtueinsociety。Theyhadnotenoughinterestintheouterworldreallytowreckorrevolutioniseit。

Theydidnotlovethecityenoughtosetfiretoit。Thustheancientworldwasexactlyinourowndesolatedilemma。Theonlypeoplewhoreallyenjoyedthisworldwerebusybreakingitup；

andthevirtuouspeopledidnotcareenoughaboutthemtoknockthemdown。Inthisdilemma（thesameasours）Christianitysuddenlysteppedinandofferedasingularanswer，whichtheworldeventuallyacceptedasTHEanswer。Itwastheanswerthen，andIthinkitistheanswernow。

Thisanswerwasliketheslashofasword；itsundered；

itdidnotinanysensesentimentallyunite。Briefly，itdividedGodfromthecosmos。ThattranscendenceanddistinctnessofthedeitywhichsomeChristiansnowwanttoremovefromChristianity，wasreallytheonlyreasonwhyanyonewantedtobeaChristian。

ItwasthewholepointoftheChristiananswertotheunhappypessimistandthestillmoreunhappyoptimist。AsIamhereonlyconcernedwiththeirparticularproblem，Ishallindicateonlybrieflythisgreatmetaphysicalsuggestion。Alldescriptionsofthecreatingorsustainingprincipleinthingsmustbemetaphorical，becausetheymustbeverbal。ThusthepantheistisforcedtospeakofGodinallthingsasifhewereinabox。Thustheevolutionisthas，inhisveryname，theideaofbeingunrolledlikeacarpet。

Allterms，religiousandirreligious，areopentothischarge。

Theonlyquestioniswhetheralltermsareuseless，orwhetheronecan，withsuchaphrase，coveradistinctIDEAabouttheoriginofthings。

Ithinkonecan，andsoevidentlydoestheevolutionist，orhewouldnottalkaboutevolution。AndtherootphraseforallChristiantheismwasthis，thatGodwasacreator，asanartistisacreator。

Apoetissoseparatefromhispoemthathehimselfspeaksofitasalittlethinghehas"thrownoff。"Eveningivingitforthhehasflungitaway。Thisprinciplethatallcreationandprocreationisabreakingoffisatleastasconsistentthroughthecosmosastheevolutionaryprinciplethatallgrowthisabranchingout。Awomanlosesachildeveninhavingachild。Allcreationisseparation。

Birthisassolemnapartingasdeath。

ItwastheprimephilosophicprincipleofChristianitythatthisdivorceinthedivineactofmaking（suchasseversthepoetfromthepoemorthemotherfromthenew-bornchild）wasthetruedescriptionoftheactwherebytheabsoluteenergymadetheworld。

Accordingtomostphilosophers，Godinmakingtheworldenslavedit。

AccordingtoChristianity，inmakingit，Hesetitfree。

Godhadwritten，notsomuchapoem，butratheraplay；aplayhehadplannedasperfect，butwhichhadnecessarilybeenlefttohumanactorsandstage-managers，whohadsincemadeagreatmessofit。

Iwilldiscussthetruthofthistheoremlater。HereIhaveonlytopointoutwithwhatastartlingsmoothnessitpassedthedilemmawehavediscussedinthischapter。Inthiswayatleastonecouldbebothhappyandindignantwithoutdegradingone’sselftobeeitherapessimistoranoptimist。Onthissystemonecouldfightalltheforcesofexistencewithoutdesertingtheflagofexistence。

Onecouldbeatpeacewiththeuniverseandyetbeatwarwiththeworld。St。Georgecouldstillfightthedragon，howeverbigthemonsterbulkedinthecosmos，thoughhewerebiggerthanthemightycitiesorbiggerthantheeverlastinghills。Ifhewereasbigastheworldhecouldyetbekilledinthenameoftheworld。

St。Georgehadnottoconsideranyobviousoddsorproportionsinthescaleofthings，butonlytheoriginalsecretoftheirdesign。

Hecanshakehisswordatthedragon，evenifitiseverything；

eveniftheemptyheavensoverhisheadareonlythehugearchofitsopenjaws。

Andthenfollowedanexperienceimpossibletodescribe。

ItwasasifIhadbeenblunderingaboutsincemybirthwithtwohugeandunmanageablemachines，ofdifferentshapesandwithoutapparentconnection——theworldandtheChristiantradition。

Ihadfoundthisholeintheworld：thefactthatonemustsomehowfindawayoflovingtheworldwithouttrustingit；

somehowonemustlovetheworldwithoutbeingworldly。IfoundthisprojectingfeatureofChristiantheology，likeasortofhardspike，thedogmaticinsistencethatGodwaspersonal，andhadmadeaworldseparatefromHimself。Thespikeofdogmafittedexactlyintotheholeintheworld——ithadevidentlybeenmeanttogothere——

andthenthestrangethingbegantohappen。Whenoncethesetwopartsofthetwomachineshadcometogether，oneafteranother，alltheotherpartsfittedandfellinwithaneerieexactitude。

Icouldhearboltafterboltoverallthemachineryfallingintoitsplacewithakindofclickofrelief。Havinggotonepartright，alltheotherpartswererepeatingthatrectitude，asclockafterclockstrikesnoon。Instinctafterinstinctwasansweredbydoctrineafterdoctrine。Or，tovarythemetaphor，Iwaslikeonewhohadadvancedintoahostilecountrytotakeonehighfortress。Andwhenthatforthadfallenthewholecountrysurrenderedandturnedsolidbehindme。Thewholelandwaslitup，asitwere，backtothefirstfieldsofmychildhood。AllthoseblindfanciesofboyhoodwhichinthefourthchapterIhavetriedinvaintotraceonthedarkness，becamesuddenlytransparentandsane。

IwasrightwhenIfeltthatroseswereredbysomesortofchoice：

itwasthedivinechoice。IwasrightwhenIfeltthatIwouldalmostrathersaythatgrasswasthewrongcolourthansayitmustbynecessityhavebeenthatcolour：itmightverilyhavebeenanyother。Mysensethathappinesshungonthecrazythreadofaconditiondidmeansomethingwhenallwassaid：itmeantthewholedoctrineoftheFall。EventhosedimandshapelessmonstersofnotionswhichIhavenotbeenabletodescribe，muchlessdefend，steppedquietlyintotheirplaceslikecolossalcaryatidesofthecreed。Thefancythatthecosmoswasnotvastandvoid，butsmallandcosy，hadafulfilledsignificancenow，foranythingthatisaworkofartmustbesmallinthesightoftheartist；

toGodthestarsmightbeonlysmallanddear，likediamonds。

Andmyhauntinginstinctthatsomehowgoodwasnotmerelyatooltobeused，butarelictobeguarded，likethegoodsfromCrusoe’sship——

eventhathadbeenthewildwhisperofsomethingoriginallywise，for，accordingtoChristianity，wewereindeedthesurvivorsofawreck，thecrewofagoldenshipthathadgonedownbeforethebeginningoftheworld。

Buttheimportantmatterwasthis，thatitentirelyreversedthereasonforoptimism。Andtheinstantthereversalwasmadeitfeltliketheabrupteasewhenaboneisputbackinthesocket。

Ihadoftencalledmyselfanoptimist，toavoidthetooevidentblasphemyofpessimism。Butalltheoptimismoftheagehadbeenfalseanddishearteningforthisreason，thatithadalwaysbeentryingtoprovethatwefitintotheworld。TheChristianoptimismisbasedonthefactthatwedoNOTfitintotheworld。

Ihadtriedtobehappybytellingmyselfthatmanisananimal，likeanyotherwhichsoughtitsmeatfromGod。ButnowIreallywashappy，forIhadlearntthatmanisamonstrosity。Ihadbeenrightinfeelingallthingsasodd，forImyselfwasatonceworseandbetterthanallthings。Theoptimist’spleasurewasprosaic，foritdweltonthenaturalnessofeverything；theChristianpleasurewaspoetic，foritdweltontheunnaturalnessofeverythinginthelightofthesupernatural。ThemodernphilosopherhadtoldmeagainandagainthatIwasintherightplace，andIhadstillfeltdepressedeveninacquiescence。ButIhadheardthatIwasintheWRONGplace，andmysoulsangforjoy，likeabirdinspring。

Theknowledgefoundoutandilluminatedforgottenchambersinthedarkhouseofinfancy。Iknewnowwhygrasshadalwaysseemedtomeasqueerasthegreenbeardofagiant，andwhyIcouldfeelhomesickathome。

VITHEPARADOXESOFCHRISTIANITY

Therealtroublewiththisworldofoursisnotthatitisanunreasonableworld，noreventhatitisareasonableone。Thecommonestkindoftroubleisthatitisnearlyreasonable，butnotquite。

Lifeisnotanillogicality；yetitisatrapforlogicians。

Itlooksjustalittlemoremathematicalandregularthanitis；

itsexactitudeisobvious，butitsinexactitudeishidden；

itswildnessliesinwait。IgiveonecoarseinstanceofwhatImean。

Supposesomemathematicalcreaturefromthemoonweretoreckonupthehumanbody；hewouldatonceseethattheessentialthingaboutitwasthatitwasduplicate。Amanistwomen，heontherightexactlyresemblinghimontheleft。Havingnotedthattherewasanarmontherightandoneontheleft，alegontherightandoneontheleft，hemightgofurtherandstillfindoneachsidethesamenumberoffingers，thesamenumberoftoes，twineyes，twinears，twinnostrils，andeventwinlobesofthebrain。

Atlasthewouldtakeitasalaw；andthen，wherehefoundaheartononeside，woulddeducethattherewasanotherheartontheother。

Andjustthen，wherehemostfelthewasright，hewouldbewrong。

Itisthissilentswervingfromaccuracybyaninchthatistheuncannyelementineverything。Itseemsasortofsecrettreasonintheuniverse。Anappleoranorangeisroundenoughtogetitselfcalledround，andyetisnotroundafterall。

Theearthitselfisshapedlikeanorangeinordertoluresomesimpleastronomerintocallingitaglobe。Abladeofgrassiscalledafterthebladeofasword，becauseitcomestoapoint；

butitdoesn’t。Everywhereinthingsthereisthiselementofthequietandincalculable。Itescapestherationalists，butitneverescapestillthelastmoment。Fromthegrandcurveofourearthitcouldeasilybeinferredthateveryinchofitwasthuscurved。

Itwouldseemrationalthatasamanhasabrainonbothsides，heshouldhaveaheartonbothsides。YetscientificmenarestillorganizingexpeditionstofindtheNorthPole，becausetheyaresofondofflatcountry。Scientificmenarealsostillorganizingexpeditionstofindaman’sheart；andwhentheytrytofindit，theygenerallygetonthewrongsideofhim。

Now，actualinsightorinspirationisbesttestedbywhetheritguessesthesehiddenmalformationsorsurprises。Ifourmathematicianfromthemoonsawthetwoarmsandthetwoears，hemightdeducethetwoshoulder-bladesandthetwohalvesofthebrain。Butifheguessedthattheman’sheartwasintherightplace，thenIshouldcallhimsomethingmorethanamathematician。Now，thisisexactlytheclaimwhichIhavesincecometopropoundforChristianity。

Notmerelythatitdeduceslogicaltruths，butthatwhenitsuddenlybecomesillogical，ithasfound，sotospeak，anillogicaltruth。

Itnotonlygoesrightaboutthings，butitgoeswrong（ifonemaysayso）exactlywherethethingsgowrong。Itsplansuitsthesecretirregularities，andexpectstheunexpected。Itissimpleaboutthesimpletruth；butitisstubbornaboutthesubtletruth。

Itwilladmitthatamanhastwohands，itwillnotadmit（thoughalltheModernistswailtoit）theobviousdeductionthathehastwohearts。

Itismyonlypurposeinthischaptertopointthisout；toshowthatwheneverwefeelthereissomethingoddinChristiantheology，weshallgenerallyfindthatthereissomethingoddinthetruth。

Ihavealludedtoanunmeaningphrasetotheeffectthatsuchandsuchacreedcannotbebelievedinourage。Ofcourse，anythingcanbebelievedinanyage。But，oddlyenough，therereallyisasenseinwhichacreed，ifitisbelievedatall，canbebelievedmorefixedlyinacomplexsocietythaninasimpleone。

IfamanfindsChristianitytrueinBirmingham，hehasactuallyclearerreasonsforfaiththanifhehadfoundittrueinMercia。Forthemorecomplicatedseemsthecoincidence，thelessitcanbeacoincidence。

Ifsnowflakesfellintheshape，say，oftheheartofMidlothian，itmightbeanaccident。ButifsnowflakesfellintheexactshapeofthemazeatHamptonCourt，Ithinkonemightcallitamiracle。

ItisexactlyasofsuchamiraclethatIhavesincecometofeelofthephilosophyofChristianity。Thecomplicationofourmodernworldprovesthetruthofthecreedmoreperfectlythananyoftheplainproblemsoftheagesoffaith。ItwasinNottingHillandBatterseathatIbegantoseethatChristianitywastrue。

ThisiswhythefaithhasthatelaborationofdoctrinesanddetailswhichsomuchdistressesthosewhoadmireChristianitywithoutbelievinginit。Whenonceonebelievesinacreed，oneisproudofitscomplexity，asscientistsareproudofthecomplexityofscience。Itshowshowrichitisindiscoveries。Ifitisrightatall，itisacomplimenttosaythatit’selaboratelyright。

Astickmightfitaholeorastoneahollowbyaccident。

Butakeyandalockarebothcomplex。Andifakeyfitsalock，youknowitistherightkey。

ButthisinvolvedaccuracyofthethingmakesitverydifficulttodowhatInowhavetodo，todescribethisaccumulationoftruth。

Itisveryhardforamantodefendanythingofwhichheisentirelyconvinced。Itiscomparativelyeasywhenheisonlypartiallyconvinced。Heispartiallyconvincedbecausehehasfoundthisorthatproofofthething，andhecanexpoundit。

Butamanisnotreallyconvincedofaphilosophictheorywhenhefindsthatsomethingprovesit。Heisonlyreallyconvincedwhenhefindsthateverythingprovesit。Andthemoreconvergingreasonshefindspointingtothisconviction，themorebewilderedheisifaskedsuddenlytosumthemup。Thus，ifoneaskedanordinaryintelligentman，onthespurofthemoment，"Whydoyouprefercivilizationtosavagery？"

hewouldlookwildlyroundatobjectafterobject，andwouldonlybeabletoanswervaguely，"Why，thereisthatbookcase……andthecoalsinthecoal-scuttle……andpianos……andpolicemen。"

Thewholecaseforcivilizationisthatthecaseforitiscomplex。

Ithasdonesomanythings。Butthatverymultiplicityofproofwhichoughttomakereplyoverwhelmingmakesreplyimpossible。

Thereis，therefore，aboutallcompleteconvictionakindofhugehelplessness。Thebeliefissobigthatittakesalongtimetogetitintoaction。Andthishesitationchieflyarises，oddlyenough，fromanindifferenceaboutwhereoneshouldbegin。

AllroadsleadtoRome；whichisonereasonwhymanypeoplenevergetthere。InthecaseofthisdefenceoftheChristianconvictionIconfessthatIwouldassoonbegintheargumentwithonethingasanother；Iwouldbeginitwithaturniporataximetercab。

ButifIamtobeatallcarefulaboutmakingmymeaningclear，itwill，Ithink，bewisertocontinuethecurrentargumentsofthelastchapter，whichwasconcernedtourgethefirstofthesemysticalcoincidences，orratherratifications。AllIhadhithertoheardofChristiantheologyhadalienatedmefromit。

Iwasapaganattheageoftwelve，andacompleteagnosticbytheageofsixteen；andIcannotunderstandanyonepassingtheageofseventeenwithouthavingaskedhimselfsosimpleaquestion。

Idid，indeed，retainacloudyreverenceforacosmicdeityandagreathistoricalinterestintheFounderofChristianity。

ButIcertainlyregardedHimasaman；thoughperhapsIthoughtthat，eveninthatpoint，HehadanadvantageoversomeofHismoderncritics。