第17章

Hewasnotsurprised，therefore，whenhereceivednoreplytohisring。

ThattherewastheslightesttruthinBessieBailey’sabsurdelopement’idea，Bertramdidnot，ofcourse，foraninstantbelieve。Theonlythingthatrankledaboutthatwasthefactthatshehadsuggestedsuchathing，andthatMissWinthropandthosesillychildrenhadheardher。HerecognizedhalfofBessie’sfriendsasneighborhoodyoungsters，andheknewverywellthattherewouldbemanyaquietlaughathisexpensearoundvariousBeaconStreetdinner-

tablesthatnight。Atthethoughtofthosedinner-tables，hescowledagain。_He_hadnodinner-table——atleast，hehadnodinneronit!

WhothemanmightbeBertramthoughthecouldeasilyguess。ItwaseitherArkwrightorCalderwell，ofcourse；andprobablythattiresomeAliceGreggorywasmixedupinitsomehow。

HedidwishBilly——

Sixo’clockcame，thenhalf-past。Bertramwasindeedfrightenednow，buthewasmoreangry，andstillmorehungry。Hehad，infact，reachedthatstateofblindunreasonablenesssaidtobepeculiartohungrymalesfromtimeimmemorial。

Attenminutesofsevenakeyclickedinthelockoftheouterdoor，andWilliamandBillyenteredthehall。

Itwasalmostdark。Bertramcouldnotseetheirfaces。Hehadnotlightedthehallatall。

Well，’hebegansharply，isthisthewayyoureceiveyourcallers，Billy？IcamehomeandfoundMissWinthropjustleaving——nooneheretoreceiveher!Where’veyoubeen？Where’sEliza？Where’smydinner？OfcourseIdon’tmeantoscold，Billy，butthereisalimittoevenmypatience——andit’sreachednow。Ican’thelpsuggestingthatifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore，andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless，that——WhereisEliza，anyway？’hefinishedirritably，switchingonthelightswithasnap。

Therewasamomentofdeadsilence。AtBertram’sfirstwordsBillyandWilliamhadstoppedshort。Neitherhadmovedsince。NowWilliamturnedandbegantospeak，butBillyinterrupted。Shemetherhusband’sgazesteadily。

Iwillbedownatoncetogetyourdinner，’

shesaidquietly。Elizawillnotcometo-night。

Peteisdead。’

Bertramstartedforwardwithaquickcry。

Dead!Oh，Billy!Thenyouwere——_there!_

Billy!’

Buthiswifedidnotapparentlyhearhim。Shepassedhimwithoutturningherhead，andwentonupthestairs，leavinghimtomeetthesorrowful，accusingeyesofWilliam。

Theyounghusband’sapologieswereprofuseandabject。Bertramwasheartilyashamedofhimself，andwasmanenoughtoacknowledgeit。

AlmostonhiskneeshebeggedBillytoforgivehim；andinafrenzyofself-denunciationhefollowedherdownintothekitchenthatnight，piteouslybeseechinghertospeaktohim，tojust_look_athim，even，sothathemightknowhewasnotutterlydespised——thoughhedid，indeed，deservetobemorethandespised，hemoaned。

AtfirstBillydidnotspeak，orevenvouchsafeaglanceinhisdirection。Veryquietlyshewentaboutherpreparationsforasimplemeal，payingapparentlynomoreattentiontoBertramthanasifhewerenotthere。Butthatherearswereonlyseemingly，andnotreallydeaf，wasshownveryclearlyalittlelater，when，ataparticularlyabjectwailonthepartofthebabblingshadowatherheels，Billychokedintoalittlegasp，halflaughter，halfsob。Itwasalloverthen。Bertramhadherinhisarmsinatwinkling，whiletothefloorclatteredandrolledaknifeandahalf-peeledbakedpotato。

Naturally，afterthat，therecouldbenomoredignifiedsilencesonthepartoftheinjuredwife。

Therewere，instead，half-smiles，tears，sobs，atremuloustellingofPete’sgoingandhismessages，followedbyatearfullisteningtoBertram’sstoryofthetorturehehadenduredatthehandsofMissWinthrop，BessieBailey，andanempty，dinnerlesshouse。Andthus，inonecornerofthekitchen，sometimelater，ahungry，desperateWilliamfoundthem，thehalf-peeled，coldbakedpotatostillattheirfeet。

Tornbetweenhiscravingforfoodandhisdesirenottointerferewithanypossiblepeace-

making，Williamwasobviouslyhesitatingwhattodo，whenBillyglancedupandsawhim。Shesaw，too，atthesametime，theempty，blazinggas-stoveburner，andthepileofhalf-preparedpotatoes，towarmwhichtheburnerhadlongsincebeenlighted。Withalittlecryshebrokeawayfromherhusband’sarms。

Mercy!andhere’spoorUncleWilliam，blesshisheart，withnotathingtoeatyet!’

Theyallgotdinnerthen，together，withmanyasighandquick-comingtearaseverywheretheymetsomesadreminderofthegentleoldhandsthatwouldneveragainministertotheircomfort。

Itwasasilentmeal，andlittle，afterall，waseaten，thoughbraveattemptsatcheerfulnessandnaturalnessweremadebyallthree。Bertram，especially，talked，andtriedtomakesurethattheshadowonBilly’sfacewasatleastnottheonehisownconducthadbroughtthere。

Foryoudo——yousurelydoforgiveme，don’tyou？’hebegged，ashefollowedherintothekitchenafterthesorrymealwasover。

Why，yes，dear，yes，’sighedBilly，tryingtosmile。

Andyou’llforget？’

Therewasnoanswer。

Billy!Andyou’llforget？’Bertram’svoicewasinsistent，reproachful。

Billychangedcolorandbitherlip。Shelookedplainlydistressed。

Billy!’criedtheman，stillmorereproachfully。

But，Bertram，Ican’tforget——quiteyet，’

falteredBilly。

Bertramfrowned。Foraminutehelookedasifhewereabouttotakeupthematterseriouslyandargueitwithher；butthenextmomenthesmiledandtossedhisheadwithjauntyplayfulness——

Bertram，totellthetruth，hadnowhadquiteenoughofwhatheprivatelytermedscenes’andheroics’；and，manlike，hewasveryardentlylongingfortheoldeasy-goingfriendliness，withallunpleasantnessbanishedtooblivion。

Oh，butyou’llhavetoforget，’heclaimed，withcheeryinsistence，foryou’vepromisedtoforgiveme——andonecan’tforgivewithoutforgetting。

So，there!’hefinished，withasmilinglydeterminednow-everything-is-just-as-it-was-before’air。

Billymadenoresponse。Sheturnedhurriedlyandbegantobusyherselfwiththedishesatthesink。Inherheartshewaswondering：couldsheeverforgetwhatBertramhadsaid？Wouldanythingeverblotoutthoseawfulwords：Ifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore，andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless——’？Itseemednowthatalways，forevermore，theywouldringinherears；always，forevermore，theywouldburndeeperanddeeperintohersoul。Andnotonce，inallBertram’sapologies，hadhereferredtothem——thosewordshehaduttered。Hehadnotsaidhedidnotmeanthem。Hehadnotsaidhewassorryhespokethem。Hehadignoredthem；andheexpectedthatnowshe，too，wouldignorethem。Asifshecould!’Ifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore，andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless——’Oh，ifonlyshecould，indeed，——forget!

WhenBillywentup-stairsthatnightsheranacrossherTalktoYoungWives’inherdesk。

Withahalf-stifledcryshethrustitfarbackoutofsight。

Ihateyou，Ihateyou——withallyouroldtalkabout`brushingupagainstoutsideinterests’!’

shewhisperedfiercely。Well，I’ve`brushed’——andnowseewhatI’vegotforit!’

Later，however，afterBertramwasasleep，Billycreptoutofbedandgotthebook。Underthecarefullyshadedlampintheadjoiningroomsheturnedthepagessoftlytillshecametothesentence：

Perhapsitwouldbehardtofindamoreutterlyunreasonable，irritable，irresponsiblecreaturethanahungryman。’Withalongsighshebegantoread；andnotuntilsomeminuteslaterdidsheclosethebook，turnoffthelight，andstealbacktobed。

Duringthenextthreedays，untilafterthefuneralattheshabbylittleSouthBostonhouse，ElizaspentonlyabouthalfofeachdayattheStrata。This，muchtoherdistress，leftmanyofthehouseholdtasksforheryoungmistresstoperform。Billy，however，attackedeachnewdutywithafeverisheagernessthatseemedtomaketheperformanceofitverylikesomegladpenancedoneforpastmisdeeds。Andwhen——onthedayaftertheyhadlaidtheoldservantinhislastrestingplace——adespairingmessagecamefromElizatotheeffectthatnowhermotherwasveryill，andwouldneedhercare，BillypromptlytoldElizatostayaslongaswasnecessary；thattheycouldgetalongallrightwithouther。

But，Billy，what_are_wegoingtodo？’

Bertramdemanded，whenheheardthenews。Wemusthavesomebody!’

_I’m_goingtodoit。’

Nonsense!Asifyoucould!’scoffedBertram。

Billyliftedherchin。

Couldn’tI，indeed，’sheretorted。Doyourealize，youngman，howmuchI’vedonethelastthreedays？Howaboutthosemuffinsyouhadthismorningforbreakfast，andthatcakelastnight？Anddidn’tyouyourselfsaythatyouneverateabetterpuddingthanthatdatepuffyesterdaynoon？’

Bertramlaughedandshruggedhisshoulders。

Mydearlove，I’mnotquestioningyour_ability_todoit，’hesoothedquickly。Still，’headded，withawhimsicalsmile，ImustremindyouthatElizahasbeenherehalfthetime，andthatmuffinsanddatepuffs，howeverdelicious，aren’tallthereistorunningabighouselikethis。

Besides，justbesensible，Billy，’hewentonmoreseriously，ashenotedtherebelliousgleamcomingintohisyoungwife’seyes；you’dknowyoucouldn’tdoit，ifyou’djuststoptothink。There’stheCarletonscomingtodinnerMonday，andmystudioTeato-morrow，tosaynothingoftheSymphonyandtheopera，andtheconcertsyou’dlosebecauseyouweretoodeadtiredtogotothem。

YouknowhowitwaswiththatconcertyesterdayafternoonwhichAliceGreggorywantedyoutogotowithher。’

Ididn’t——want——togo，’chokedBilly，underherbreath。

Andthere’syourmusic。Youhaven’tdoneathingwiththatfordays，yetonlylastweekyoutoldmethepublisherswerehurryingyouforthatlastsongtocompletethegroup。’

Ihaven’tfeltlike——writing，’stammeredBilly，stillhalfunderherbreath。

Ofcourseyouhaven’t，’triumphedBertram。

You’vebeentoodeadtired。Andthat’sjustwhatIsay。Billy，you_can’t_doitallyourself!’

ButIwantto。Iwantto——totendtothings，’falteredBilly，withahalf-fearfulglanceintoherhusband’sface。

BillywashearingveryloudlynowthataccusingIfyou’dtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore——’Bertram，however，wasnothearingit，evidently。Indeed，heseemednevertohaveheardit——muchlesstohavespokenit。

`Tendtothings，’’helaughedlightly。

Well，you’llhaveenoughtodototendtothemaid，Ifancy。Anyhow，we’regoingtohaveone。

I’lljuststepintooneofthose——whatdoyoucall’em？——intelligenceofficesonmywaydownandsendoneup，’hefinished，ashegavehiswifeagood-bykiss。

AnhourlaterBilly，strugglingwiththebroomandthedrawing-roomcarpet，wascalledtothetelephone。Itwasherhusband’svoicethatcametoher。

Billy，forheaven’ssake，takepityonme。

Won’tyouputonyourdudsandcomeandengageyourmaidyourself？’

Why，Bertram，what’sthematter？’

Matter？Holysmoke!Well，I’vebeentothreeofthoseintelligenceoffices——thoughwhytheycallthemthatIcan’timagine。Ifevertherewasaplaceutterlydevoidofintelligence-butnevermind!I’veinterviewedfourfatladies，twothinones，andonemediumwithawart。I’vecheerfullydivulgedallourfamilysecrets，promisedeveryotherhalf-hourout，andtakenoaththatourhouseholdnumbersthreeadultmembers，andnomore；butIsimply_can’t_rememberhowmanyhandkerchiefswehaveinthewasheachweek。Billy，willyoucome？Maybeyoucandosomethingwiththem。I’msureyoucan!’

Why，ofcourseI’llcome，’chirpedBilly。

WhereshallImeetyou？’

Bertramgavethestreetandnumber。

Good!I’llbethere，’promisedBilly，asshehungupthereceiver。

Quiteforgettingthebroominthemiddleofthedrawing-roomfloor，Billytrippedup-stairstochangeherdress。Onherlipswasagaylittlesong。Inherheartwasjoy。

Iratherguess_now_I’mtendingtomyhusbandandmyhome!’shewascrowingtoherself