第12章

Insteadofbeingaprisonerhereyoumaygoabroadagain，Pyecraft；

youmaytravel——“

Astillhappierideacametome。“Youneedneverfearashipwreck。

Allyouneeddoisjustslipoffsomeorallofyourclothes，takethenecessaryamountofluggageinyourhand，andfloatupintheair——“

Inhisemotionhedroppedthetack-hammerwithinanaceofmyhead。

“ByJove！“hesaid，“Ishallbeabletocomebacktotheclubagain。“

Thethingpulledmeupshort。“ByJove！“Isaidfaintly。“Yes。

Ofcourse——youwill。“

Hedid。Hedoes。Therehesitsbehindmenow，stuffing——asIlive！——

athirdgoofbutteredtea-cake。Andnooneinthewholeworldknows——

excepthishousekeeperandme——thatheweighspracticallynothing；

thatheisamereboringmassofassimilatorymatter，merecloudsinclothing，niente，nefas，themostinconsiderableofmen。TherehesitswatchinguntilIhavedonethiswriting。Then，ifhecan，hewillwaylayme。Hewillcomebillowinguptome……

Hewilltellmeoveragainallaboutit，howitfeels，howitdoesn’tfeel，howhesometimeshopesitispassingoffalittle。

Andalwayssomewhereinthatfat，abundantdiscoursehewillsay，“Thesecret’skeeping，eh？Ifanyoneknewofit——Ishouldbesoashamed……Makesafellowlooksuchafool，youknow。

Crawlingaboutonaceilingandallthat……“

AndnowtoeludePyecraft，occupying，ashedoes，anadmirablestrategicpositionbetweenmeandthedoor。

5。MR。SKELMERSDALEINFAIRYLAND

“There’samaninthatshop，“saidtheDoctor，“whohasbeeninFairyland。“

“Nonsense！“Isaid，andstaredbackattheshop。Itwastheusualvillageshop，post-office，telegraphwireonitsbrow，zincpansandbrushesoutside，boots，shirtings，andpottedmeatsinthewindow。

“Tellmeaboutit，“Isaid，afterapause。

“_I_don’tknow，“saidtheDoctor。“He’sanordinarysortoflout——

Skelmersdaleishisname。ButeverybodyaboutherebelievesitlikeBibletruth。“

Irevertedpresentlytothetopic。

“Iknownothingaboutit，“saidtheDoctor，“andIdon’tWANTtoknow。

Iattendedhimforabrokenfinger——MarriedandSinglecricketmatch——

andthat’swhenIstruckthenonsense。That’sall。ButitshowsyouthesortofstuffIhavetodealwith，anyhow，eh？Nicetogetmodernsanitaryideasintoapeoplelikethis！“

“Very，“Isaidinamildlysympathetictone，andhewentontotellmeaboutthatbusinessoftheBonhamdrain。Thingsofthatkind，Iobserve，areapttoweighonthemindsofMedicalOfficersofHealth。

IwasassympatheticasIknewhow，andwhenhecalledtheBonhampeople“asses，“Isaidtheywere“thunderingasses，“buteventhatdidnotallayhim。

Afterwards，laterinthesummer，anurgentdesiretosecludemyself，whilefinishingmychapteronSpiritualPathology——itwasreally，Ibelieve，stiffertowritethanitistoread——tookmetoBignor。

Ilodgedatafarmhouse，andpresentlyfoundmyselfoutsidethatlittlegeneralshopagain，insearchoftobacco。“Skelmersdale，“

saidItomyselfatthesightofit，andwentin。

Iwasservedbyashort，butshapely，youngman，withafairdownycomplexion，good，smallteeth，blueeyes，andalanguidmanner。

Iscrutinisedhimcuriously。Exceptforatouchofmelancholyinhisexpression，hewasnothingoutofthecommon。Hewasintheshirt-sleevesandtucked-upapronofhistrade，andapencilwasthrustbehindhisinoffensiveear。Athwarthisblackwaistcoatwasagoldchain，fromwhichdangledabentguinea。

“Nothingmoreto-day，sir？“heinquired。Heleantforwardovermybillashespoke。

“AreyouMr。Skelmersdale？“saidI。

“Iam，sir，“hesaid，withoutlookingup。

“IsittruethatyouhavebeeninFairyland？“

Helookedupatmeforamomentwithwrinkledbrows，withanaggrieved，exasperatedface。“OSHUTit！“hesaid，and，afteramomentofhostility，eyetoeye，hewentonaddingupmybill。“Four，sixandahalf，“hesaid，afterapause。“Thankyou，Sir。“

So，unpropitiously，myacquaintancewithMr。Skelmersdalebegan。

Well，Igotfromthattoconfidence——throughaseriesoftoilsomeefforts。IpickedhimupagainintheVillageRoom，whereofanightIwenttoplaybilliardsaftermysupper，andmitigatetheextremeseclusionfrommykindthatwassohelpfultoworkduringtheday。

Icontrivedtoplaywithhimandafterwardstotalkwithhim。IfoundtheonesubjecttoavoidwasFairyland。Oneverythingelsehewasopenandamiableinacommonplacesortofway，butonthathehadbeenworried——itwasamanifesttaboo。OnlyonceintheroomdidIheartheslightestallusiontohisexperienceinhispresence，andthatwasbyacross-grainedfarmhandwhowaslosingtohim。

Skelmersdalehadrunabreakintodoublefigures，which，bytheBignorstandards，wasuncommonlygoodplay。“Steadyon！“saidhisadversary。

“Noneofyourfairyflukes！“

Skelmersdalestaredathimforamoment，cueinhand，thenflungitdownandwalkedoutoftheroom。

“Whycan’tyouleave’imalone？“saidarespectableelderwhohadbeenenjoyingthegame，andinthegeneralmurmurofdisapprovalthegrinofsatisfiedwitfadedfromtheploughboy’sface。

Iscentedmyopportunity。“What’sthisjoke，“saidI，“aboutFairyland？“

“’Tain’tnojokeaboutFairyland，nottoyoungSkelmersdale，“saidtherespectableelder，drinking。Alittlemanwithrosycheekswasmorecommunicative。“TheyDOsay，sir，“hesaid，“thattheytookhimintoAldingtonKnollan’kep’himthereamatterofthreeweeks。“

Andwiththatthegatheringwaswellunderweigh。Onceonesheephadstarted，otherswerereadyenoughtofollow，andinalittletimeIhadatleasttheexterioraspectoftheSkelmersdaleaffair。

Formerly，beforehecametoBignor，hehadbeeninthatverysimilarlittleshopatAldingtonCorner，andtherewhateveritwasdidhappenhadtakenplace。ThestorywasclearthathehadstayedoutlateonenightontheKnollandvanishedforthreeweeksfromthesightofmen，andhadreturnedwith“hiscuffsascleanaswhenhestarted，“

andhispocketsfullofdustandashes。Hereturnedinastateofmoodywretchednessthatonlyslowlypassedaway，andformanydayshewouldgivenoaccountofwhereitwashehadbeen。ThegirlhewasengagedtoatClaptonHilltriedtogetitoutofhim，andthrewhimoverpartlybecauseherefused，andpartlybecause，asshesaid，hefairlygaveherthe“’ump。“Andthenwhen，sometimeafter，heletouttosomeonecarelesslythathehadbeeninFairylandandwantedtogoback，andwhenthethingspreadandthesimplebadinageofthecountrysidecameintoplay，hethrewuphissituationabruptly，andcametoBignortogetoutofthefuss。ButastowhathadhappenedinFairylandnoneofthesepeopleknew。TherethegatheringintheVillageRoomwenttopieceslikeapackatfault。Onesaidthis，andanothersaidthat。

Theirairindealingwiththismarvelwasostensiblycriticalandsceptical，butIcouldseeaconsiderableamountofbeliefshowingthroughtheirguardedqualifications。Itookalineofintelligentinterest，tingedwithareasonabledoubtofthewholestory。

“IfFairyland’sinsideAldingtonKnoll，“Isaid，“whydon’tyoudigitout？“

“That’swhatIsays，“saidtheyoungploughboy。

“There’sa-manyhavetriedtodigonAldingtonKnoll，“saidtherespectableelder，solemnly，“onetimeandanother。Butthere’snoneasgoesaboutto-daytotellwhattheygotbydigging。“

Theunanimityofvaguebeliefthatsurroundedmewasratherimpressive；

IfelttheremustsurelybeSOMETHINGattherootofsomuchconviction，andthealreadyprettykeencuriosityIfeltabouttherealfactsofthecasewasdistinctlywhetted。Iftheserealfactsweretobegotfromanyone，theyweretobegotfromSkelmersdalehimself；

andIsetmyself，therefore，stillmoreassiduouslytoeffacethefirstbadimpressionIhadmadeandwinhisconfidencetothepitchofvoluntaryspeech。InthatendeavourIhadasocialadvantage。

Beingapersonofaffabilityandnoapparentemployment，andwearingtweedsandknickerbockers，IwasnaturallyclassedasanartistinBignor，andintheremarkablecodeofsocialprecedenceprevalentinBignoranartistranksconsiderablyhigherthanagrocer’sassistant。

Skelmersdale，liketoomanyofhisclass，issomethingofasnob；