第17章

Thepoorwardengroanedashesatperfectlystill，lookingupatthehard-heartedoratorwhothustormentedhim，andthebishopechoedthesoundfaintlyfrombehindhishands；

butthearchdeaconcaredlittleforsuchsignsofweakness，andcompletedhisexhortation。

’Butletussupposetheofficetobeleftvacant，andthatyourowntroublesconcerningitwereover；wouldthatsatisfyyou？

Areyouronlyaspirationsinthematterconfinedtoyourselfandfamily？Iknowtheyarenot。Iknowyouareasanxiousasanyofusforthechurchtowhichwebelong；andwhatagrievousblowwouldsuchanactofapostacygiveher！Youoweittothechurchofwhichyouareamemberandaminister，tobearwiththisaffliction，howeversevereitmaybe:youoweittomyfather，whoinstitutedyou，tosupporthisrights:youoweittothosewhoprecededyoutoassertthelegalityoftheirposition；youoweittothosewhoaretocomeafteryou，tomaintainuninjuredforthemthatwhichyoureceiveduninjuredfromothers；andyouowetousalltheunflinchingassistanceofperfectbrotherhoodinthismatter，sothatupholdingoneanotherwemaysupportourgreatcausewithoutblushingandwithoutdisgrace。’

Andsothearchdeaconceased，andstoodself-satisfied，watchingtheeffectofhisspokenwisdom。

Thewardenfelthimself，toacertainextent，stifled；hewouldhavegiventheworldtogethimselfoutintotheopenairwithoutspeakingto，ornoticingthosewhowereintheroomwithhim；butthiswasimpossible。Hecouldnotleavewithoutsayingsomething，andhefelthimselfconfoundedbythearchdeacon’seloquence。Therewasaheavy，unfeeling，unanswerabletruthinwhathehadsaid；therewassomuchpractical，butodiouscommonsenseinit，thatheneitherknewhowtoassentortodiffer。Ifitwerenecessaryforhimtosuffer，hefeltthathecouldendurewithoutcomplaintandwithoutcowardice，providingthathewasself-satisfiedofthejusticeofhisowncause。Whathecouldnotendurewas，thatheshouldbeaccusedbyothers，andnotacquittedbyhimself。

Doubting，ashehadbeguntodoubt，thejusticeofhisownpositioninthehospital，heknewthathisownself-confidencewouldnotberestoredbecauseMrBoldhadbeeninerrorastosomelegalform；norcouldhebesatisfiedtoescape，because，throughsomelegalfiction，hewhoreceivedthegreatestbenefitfromthehospitalmightbeconsideredonlyasoneofitsservants。

Thearchdeacon’sspeechhadsilencedhim——stupefiedhim——annihilatedhim；anythingbutsatisfiedhim。Withthebishopitfarednotmuchbetter。Hedidnotdiscernclearlyhowthingswere，buthesawenoughtoknowthatabattlewastobepreparedfor；abattlethatwoulddestroyhisfewremainingcomforts，andbringhimwithsorrowtothegrave。

Thewardenstillsat，andstilllookedatthearchdeacon，tillhisthoughtsfixedthemselveswhollyonthemeansofescapefromhispresentposition，andhefeltlikeabirdfascinatedbygazingonasnake。

’Ihopeyouagreewithme，’saidthearchdeaconatlast，breakingthedreadsilence；’mylord，Ihopeyouagreewithme。’

Oh，whatasighthebishopgave！’Mylord，Ihopeyouagreewithme，’againrepeatedthemercilesstyrant。

’Yes，Isupposeso，’groanedthepooroldman，slowly。

’Andyou，warden？’

MrHardingwasnowstirredtoaction——hemustspeakandmove，sohegotupandtookoneturnbeforeheanswered。

’Donotpressmeforananswerjustatpresent；Iwilldonothinglightlyinthematter，andofwhateverIdoIwillgiveyouandthebishopnotice。’Andsowithoutanotherwordhetookhisleave，escapingquicklythroughthepalacehall，anddowntheloftysteps，nordidhebreathefreelytillhefoundhimselfaloneunderthehugeelmsofthesilentclose。Herehewalkedlongandslowly，thinkingonhiscasewithatroubledair，andtryinginvaintoconfutethearchdeacon’sargument。

Hethenwenthome，resolvedtobearitall——ignominy，suspense，disgrace，self-doubt，andheart-burning——andtodoasthosewouldhavehim，whohestillbelievedweremostfitandmostabletocounselhimaright。

TribulationMrHardingwasasaddermanthanhehadeveryetbeenwhenhereturnedtohisownhouse。Hehadbeenwretchedenoughonthatwell-rememberedmorningwhenhewasforcedtoexposebeforehisson-in-lawthepublisher’saccountforusheringintotheworldhisdearbookofsacredmusic:whenaftermakingsuchpaymentsashecoulddounassisted，hefoundthathewasadebtorofmorethanthreehundredpounds；buthissufferingsthenwereasnothingtohispresentmisery；——thenhehaddonewrong，andheknewit，andwasabletoresolvethathewouldnotsininlikemanneragain；butnowhecouldmakenoresolution，andcomforthimselfbynopromisesoffirmness。Hehadbeenforcedtothinkthathislothadplacedhiminafalseposition，andhewasabouttomaintainthatpositionagainsttheopinionoftheworldandagainsthisownconvictions。

Hehadreadwithpity，amountingalmosttohorror，thestrictureswhichhadappearedfromtimetotimeagainsttheEarlofGuildfordasmasterofStCross，andtheinvectivesthathadbeenheapedonrichdiocesandignitariesandovergrownsinecurepluralists。Injudgingofthem，hejudgedleniently；

thewholebiasofhisprofessionhadtaughthimtothinkthattheyweremoresinnedagainstthansinning，andthattheanimositywithwhichtheyhadbeenpursuedwasvenomousandunjust；buthehadnotthelessregardedtheirplightasmostmiserable。

Hishairhadstoodonendandhisfleshhadcreptashereadthethingswhichhadbeenwritten；hehadwonderedhowmencouldliveundersuchaloadofdisgrace；howtheycouldfacetheirfellow-creatureswhiletheirnameswerebandiedaboutsoinjuriouslyandsopublicly——andnowthislotwastobehis——he，thatshy，retiringman，whohadsocomfortedhimselfinthehiddenobscurityofhislot，whohadsoenjoyedtheunassumingwarmthofhisownlittlecorner，hewasnowdraggedforthintotheglaringday，andgibbetedbeforeferociousmultitudes。Heenteredhisownhouseacrestfallen，humiliatedman，withoutahopeofovercomingthewretchednesswhichaffectedhim。

Hewanderedintothedrawing-roomwherewashisdaughter；

buthecouldnotspeaktohernow，soheleftit，andwentintothebook-room。HewasnotquickenoughtoescapeEleanor’sglance，ortopreventherfromseeingthathewasdisturbed；

andinalittlewhileshefollowedhim。Shefoundhimseatedinhisaccustomedchairwithnobookopenbeforehim，nopenreadyinhishand，noill-shapennotesofblottedmusiclyingbeforehimaswasusual，noneofthosehospitalaccountswithwhichhewassopreciseandyetsounmethodical:hewasdoingnothing，thinkingofnothing，lookingatnothing；

hewasmerelysuffering。

’Leaveme，Eleanor，mydear，’hesaid；’leaveme，mydarling，forafewminutes，forIambusy。’

Eleanorsawwellhowitwas，butshedidleavehim，andglidedsilentlybacktoherdrawing-room。Whenhehadsatawhile，thusaloneandunoccupied，hegotuptowalkagain——

hecouldmakemoreofhisthoughtswalkingthansitting，andwascreepingoutintohisgarden，whenhemetBunceonthethreshold。

’Well，Bunce，’saidhe，inatonethatforhimwassharp，’whatisit？doyouwantme？’

’Iwasonlycomingtoaskafteryourreverence，’saidtheoldbedesman，touchinghishat；’andtoinquireaboutthenewsfromLondon，’headdedafterapause。

Thewardenwinced，andputhishandtohisforeheadandfeltbewildered。

’AttorneyFinneyhasbeentherethismorning，’continuedBunce，’andbyhislooksIguessheisnotsowellpleasedasheoncewas，andithasgotabroadsomehowthatthearchdeaconhashaddowngreatnewsfromLondon，andHandyandMoodyarebothasblackasdevils。AndIhope，’saidtheman，tryingtoassumeacheerytone，’thatthingsarelookingup，andthatthere’llbeanendsoontoallthisstuffwhichbothersyourreverencesosorely。’

’Well，Iwishtheremaybe，Bunce。’

’Butaboutthenews，yourreverence？’saidtheoldman，almostwhispering。

MrHardingwalkedon，andshookhisheadimpatiently。

PoorBuncelittleknewhowhewastormentinghispatron。

’Iftherewasanythingtocheeryou，Ishouldbesogladtoknowit，’saidhe，withatoneofaffectionwhichthewardeninallhismiserycouldnotresist。

Hestopped，andtookboththeoldman’shandsinhis。

’Myfriend，’saidhe，’mydearoldfriend，thereisnothing；

thereisnonewstocheerme——God’swillbedone’:andtwosmallhottearsbrokeawayfromhiseyesandstoledownhisfurrowedcheeks。

’ThenGod’swillbedone，’saidtheothersolemnly；’buttheytoldmethattherewasgoodnewsfromLondon，andI

cametowishyourreverencejoy；butGod’swillbedone，’

andsothewardenagainwalkedon，andthebedesman，lookingwistfullyafterhimandreceivingnoencouragementtofollow，returnedsadlytohisownabode。

Foracoupleofhoursthewardenremainedthusinthegarden，nowwalking，nowstandingmotionlessontheturf，andthen，ashislegsgotweary，sittingunconsciouslyonthegardenseats，andthenwalkingagain。AndEleanor，hiddenbehindthemuslincurtainsofthewindow，watchedhimthroughthetreesashenowcameinsight，andthenagainwasconcealedbytheturningsofthewalk；andthusthetimepassedawaytillfive，whenthewardencreptbacktothehouseandpreparedfordinner。

Itwasbutasorrymeal。Thedemureparlour-maid，asshehandedthedishesandchangedtheplates，sawthatallwasnotright，andwasmoredemurethanever:neitherfathernordaughtercouldeat，andthehatefulfoodwassoonclearedaway，andthebottleofportplaceduponthetable。