第8章

JohnDouglasSpeaksatLastAnnewasnotwithoutafeeblehopethatsomethingmightcomeofitafterall。Butnothingdid。JohnDouglascameandtookJanetdriving，andwalkedhomefromprayer-meetingwithher，ashehadbeendoingfortwentyyears，andasheseemedlikelytodofortwentyyearsmore。Thesummerwaned。Annetaughtherschoolandwrotelettersandstudiedalittle。Herwalkstoandfromschoolwerepleasant。Shealwayswentbywayoftheswamp；itwasalovelyplace——aboggysoil，greenwiththegreenestofmossyhillocks；asilverybrookmeanderedthroughitandsprucesstooderectly，theirboughsa-trailwithgray-greenmosses，theirrootsovergrownwithallsortsofwoodlandlovelinesses。

Nevertheless，AnnefoundlifeinValleyRoadalittlemonotonous。

Tobesure，therewasonedivertingincident。

Shehadnotseenthelank，tow-headedSamuelofthepeppermintssincetheeveningofhiscall，saveforchancemeetingsontheroad。

ButonewarmAugustnightheappeared，andsolemnlyseatedhimselfontherusticbenchbytheporch。Heworehisusualworkinghabiliments，consistingofvaripatchedtrousers，abluejeanshirt，outattheelbows，andaraggedstrawhat。HewaschewingastrawandhekeptonchewingitwhilehelookedsolemnlyatAnne。Annelaidherbookasidewithasighandtookupherdoily。ConversationwithSamwasreallyoutofthequestion。

AfteralongsilenceSamsuddenlyspoke。

"I’mleavingoverthere，"hesaidabruptly，wavinghisstrawinthedirectionoftheneighboringhouse。

"Oh，areyou？"saidAnnepolitely。

"Yep。"

"Andwhereareyougoingnow？"

"Wall，I’vebeenthinkingsomeofgittingaplaceofmyown。

There’sonethat’dsuitmeoveratMillersville。ButefIrentsitI’llwantawoman。"

"Isupposeso，"saidAnnevaguely。

"Yep。"

Therewasanotherlongsilence。FinallySamremovedhisstrawagainandsaid，"Willyehhevme？"

"Wh——a——t！"gaspedAnne。

"Willyehhevme？"

"Doyoumean——MARRYyou？"queriedpoorAnnefeebly。

"Yep。"

"Why，I’mhardlyacquaintedwithyou，"criedAnneindignantly。

"Butyeh’dgitacquaintedwithmeafterwewasmarried，"saidSam。

Annegatheredupherpoordignity。

"CertainlyIwon’tmarryyou，"shesaidhaughtily。

"Wall，yehmightdoworse，"expostulatedSam。"I’magoodworkerandI’vegotsomemoneyinthebank。"

"Don’tspeakofthistomeagain。Whateverputsuchanideaintoyourhead？"saidAnne，hersenseofhumorgettingthebetterofherwrath。Itwassuchanabsurdsituation。

"Yeh’realikely-lookinggirlandhevaright-smartwayo’stepping，"

saidSam。"Idon’twantnolazywoman。Thinkitover。Iwon’tchangemymindyitawhile。Wall，Imustbegitting。Gottermilkthecows。"

Anne’sillusionsconcerningproposalshadsufferedsomuchoflateyearsthattherewerefewofthemleft。Soshecouldlaughwholeheartedlyoverthisone，notfeelinganysecretsting。ShemimickedpoorSamtoJanetthatnight，andbothofthemlaughedimmoderatelyoverhisplungeintosentiment。

Oneafternoon，whenAnne’ssojourninValleyRoadwasdrawingtoaclose，AlecWardcamedrivingdownto"Wayside"inhothasteforJanet。

"TheywantyouattheDouglasplacequick，"hesaid。"IreallybelieveoldMrs。Douglasisgoingtodieatlast，afterpretendingtodoitfortwentyyears。"

Janetrantogetherhat。AnneaskedifMrs。Douglaswasworsethanusual。

"She’snothalfasbad，"saidAlecsolemnly，"andthat’swhatmakesmethinkit’sserious。Othertimesshe’dbescreamingandthrowingherselfallovertheplace。Thistimeshe’slyingstillandmum。WhenMrs。Douglasismumsheisprettysick，youbet。"

"Youdon’tlikeoldMrs。Douglas？"saidAnnecuriously。

"IlikecatsasIScats。Idon’tlikecatsasiswomen，"wasAlec’scrypticreply。

Janetcamehomeinthetwilight。

"Mrs。Douglasisdead，"shesaidwearily。"ShediedsoonafterIgotthere。Shejustspoketomeonce——`Isupposeyou’llmarryJohnnow？’shesaid。Itcutmetotheheart，Anne。

TothinkJohn’sownmotherthoughtIwouldn’tmarryhimbecauseofher！Icouldn’tsayawordeither——therewereotherwomenthere。IwasthankfulJohnhadgoneout。"

Janetbegantocrydrearily。ButAnnebrewedherahotdrinkofgingerteatohercomforting。Tobesure，Annediscoveredlateronthatshehadusedwhitepepperinsteadofginger；butJanetneverknewthedifference。

TheeveningafterthefuneralJanetandAnneweresittingonthefrontporchstepsatsunset。Thewindhadfallenasleepinthepinelandsandluridsheetsofheat-lightningflickeredacrossthenorthernskies。Janetworeheruglyblackdressandlookedherveryworst，hereyesandnoseredfromcrying。Theytalkedlittle，forJanetseemedfaintlytoresentAnne’seffortstocheerherup。Sheplainlypreferredtobemiserable。

Suddenlythegate-latchclickedandJohnDouglasstrodeintothegarden。Hewalkedtowardsthemstraightoverthegeraniumbed。

Janetstoodup。SodidAnne。Annewasatallgirlandworeawhitedress；butJohnDouglasdidnotseeher。

"Janet，"hesaid，"willyoumarryme？"

ThewordsburstoutasiftheyhadbeenwantingtobesaidfortwentyyearsandMUSTbeutterednow，beforeanythingelse。

Janet’sfacewassoredfromcryingthatitcouldn’tturnanyredder，soitturnedamostunbecomingpurple。

"Whydidn’tyouaskmebefore？"shesaidslowly。

"Icouldn’t。Shemademepromisenotto——mothermademepromisenotto。Nineteenyearsagoshetookaterriblespell。

Wethoughtshecouldn’tlivethroughit。Sheimploredmetopromisenottoaskyoutomarrymewhileshewasalive。Ididn’twanttopromisesuchathing，eventhoughweallthoughtshecouldn’tliveverylong——thedoctoronlygavehersixmonths。

Butshebeggeditonherknees，sickandsuffering。Ihadtopromise。"

"Whathadyourmotheragainstme？"criedJanet。

"Nothing——nothing。Shejustdidn’twantanotherwoman——ANYwoman——therewhileshewasliving。ShesaidifI

didn’tpromiseshe’ddierightthereandI’dhavekilledher。

SoIpromised。Andshe’sheldmetothatpromiseeversince，thoughI’vegoneonmykneestoherinmyturntobeghertoletmeff。"

"Whydidn’tyoutellmethis？"askedJanetchokingly。

"IfI’donlyKNOWN！Whydidn’tyoujusttellme？"

"ShemademepromiseIwouldn’ttellasoul，"saidJohnhoarsely。

"ShesworemetoitontheBible；Janet，I’dneverhavedoneitifI’ddreameditwastobeforsolong。Janet，you’llneverknowwhatI’vesufferedthesenineteenyears。IknowI’vemadeyousuffer，too，butyou’llmarrymeforall，won’tyou，Janet？

Oh，Janet，won’tyou？I’vecomeassoonasIcouldtoaskyou。"

AtthismomentthestupefiedAnnecametohersensesandrealizedthatshehadnobusinesstobethere。SheslippedawayanddidnotseeJanetuntilthenextmorning，whenthelattertoldhertherestofthestory。

"Thatcruel，relentless，deceitfuloldwoman！"criedAnne。

"Hush——she’sdead，"saidJanetsolemnly。"Ifshewasn’t——butsheIS。

Sowemustn’tspeakevilofher。ButI’mhappyatlast，Anne。AndI

wouldn’thavemindedwaitingsolongabitifI’donlyknownwhy。"

"Whenareyoutobemarried？"

"Nextmonth。Ofcourseitwillbeveryquiet。Isupposepeoplewilltalkterrible。They’llsayImadeenoughhastetosnapJohnupassoonashispoormotherwasoutoftheway。JohnwantedtoletthemknowthetruthbutIsaid，`No，John；afterallshewasyourmother，andwe’llkeepthesecretbetweenus，andnotcastanyshadowonhermemory。Idon’tmindwhatpeoplesay，nowthatIknowthetruthmyself。Itdon’tmatteramite。Letitallbeburiedwiththedead’saysItohim。SoIcoaxedhimroundtoagreewithme。"

"You’remuchmoreforgivingthanIcouldeverbe，"Annesaid，rathercrossly。

"You’llfeeldifferentlyaboutagoodmanythingswhenyougettobemyage，"saidJanettolerantly。"That’soneofthethingswelearnaswegrowolder——howtoforgive。Itcomeseasieratfortythanitdidattwenty。"

ChapterXXXV

TheLastRedmondYearOpens"Hereweare，allbackagain，nicelysunburnedandrejoicingasastrongmantorunarace，"saidPhil，sittingdownonasuitcasewithasighofpleasure。"Isn’titjollytoseethisdearoldPatty’sPlaceagain——andAunty——andthecats？Rustyhaslostanotherpieceofear，hasn’the？"

"Rustywouldbethenicestcatintheworldifhehadnoearsatall，"

declaredAnneloyallyfromhertrunk，whileRustywrithedaboutherlapinafrenzyofwelcome。

"Aren’tyougladtoseeusback，Aunty？"demandedPhil。

"Yes。ButIwishyou’dtidythingsup，"saidAuntJamesinaplaintively，lookingatthewildernessoftrunksandsuitcasesbywhichthefourlaughing，chatteringgirlsweresurrounded。"Youcantalkjustaswelllateron。WorkfirstandthenplayusedtobemymottowhenIwasagirl。"

"Oh，we’vejustreversedthatinthisgeneration，Aunty。

OURmottoisplayyourplayandthendigin。Youcandoyourworksomuchbetterifyou’vehadagoodboutofplayfirst。"

"Ifyouaregoingtomarryaminister，"saidAuntJamesina，pickingupJosephandherknittingandresigningherselftotheinevitablewiththecharminggracethatmadeherthequeenofhousemothers，"youwillhavetogiveupsuchexpressionsas`digin。’"

"Why？"moanedPhil。"Oh，whymustaminister’swifebesupposedtoutteronlyprunesandprisms？Ishan’t。EverybodyonPattersonStreetusesslang——thatistosay，metaphoricallanguage——andifIdidn’ttheywouldthinkmeinsufferablyproudandstuckup。"

"Haveyoubrokenthenewstoyourfamily？"askedPriscilla，feedingtheSarah-catbitsfromherlunchbasket。

Philnodded。

"Howdidtheytakeit？"

"Oh，motherrampaged。ButIstoodrockfirm——evenI，PhilippaGordon，whoneverbeforecouldholdfasttoanything。Fatherwascalmer。

Father’sowndaddywasaminister，soyouseehehasasoftspotinhisheartforthecloth。IhadJouptoMountHolly，aftermothergrewcalm，andtheybothlovedhim。Butmothergavehimsomefrightfulhintsineveryconversationregardingwhatshehadhopedforme。Oh，myvacationpathwayhasn’tbeenexactlystrewnwithroses，girlsdear。

But——I’vewonoutandI’vegotJo。Nothingelsematters。"

"Toyou，"saidAuntJamesinadarkly。

"NortoJo，either，"retortedPhil。"Youkeeponpityinghim。

Why，pray？Ithinkhe’stobeenvied。He’sgettingbrains，beauty，andaheartofgoldinME。"

"It’swellweknowhowtotakeyourspeeches，"saidAuntJamesinapatiently。"Ihopeyoudon’ttalklikethatbeforestrangers。

Whatwouldtheythink？"

"Oh，Idon’twanttoknowwhattheythink。Idon’twanttoseemyselfasothersseeme。I’msureitwouldbehorriblyuncomfortablemostofthetime。Idon’tbelieveBurnswasreallysincereinthatprayer，either。"

"Oh，Idaresayweallprayforsomethingsthatwereallydon’twant，ifwewereonlyhonestenoughtolookintoourhearts，"

ownedAuntJamesinacandidly。"I’veanotionthatsuchprayersdon’triseveryfar。_I_usedtopraythatImightbeenabledtoforgiveacertainperson，butIknownowIreallydidn’twanttoforgiveher。WhenIfinallygotthatIDIDwanttoIforgaveherwithouthavingtoprayaboutit。"

"Ican’tpictureyouasbeingunforgivingforlong，"saidStella。

"Oh，Iusedtobe。Butholdingspitedoesn’tseemworthwhilewhenyougetalonginyears。"

"Thatremindsme，"saidAnne，andtoldthetaleofJohnandJanet。

"Andnowtellusaboutthatromanticsceneyouhintedsodarklyatinoneofyourletters，"demandedPhil。

AnneactedoutSamuel’sproposalwithgreatspirit。ThegirlsshriekedwithlaughterandAuntJamesinasmiled。

"Itisn’tingoodtastetomakefunofyourbeaux，"shesaidseverely；"but，"sheaddedcalmly，"Ialwaysdiditmyself。"

"Tellusaboutyourbeaux，Aunty，"entreatedPhil。"Youmusthavehadanynumberofthem。"

"They’renotinthepasttense，"retortedAuntJamesina。

"I’vegotthemyet。Therearethreeoldwidowersathomewhohavebeencastingsheep’seyesatmeforsometime。

Youchildrenneedn’tthinkyouownalltheromanceintheworld。"

"Widowersandsheep’seyesdon’tsoundveryromantic，Aunty。"

"Well，no；butyoungfolksaren’talwaysromanticeither。

Someofmybeauxcertainlyweren’t。Iusedtolaughatthemscandalous，poorboys。TherewasJimElwood——hewasalwaysinasortofday-dream——neverseemedtosensewhatwasgoingon。

Hedidn’twakeuptothefactthatI’dsaid`no’tillayearafterI’dsaidit。Whenhedidgetmarriedhiswifefelloutofthesleighonenightwhentheyweredrivinghomefromchurchandhenevermissedher。ThentherewasDanWinston。Heknewtoomuch。

Hekneweverythinginthisworldandmostofwhatisinthenext。

Hecouldgiveyouananswertoanyquestion，evenifyouaskedhimwhentheJudgmentDaywastobe。MiltonEdwardswasrealniceandIlikedhimbutIdidn’tmarryhim。Foronething，hetookaweektogetajokethroughhishead，andforanotherheneveraskedme。

HoratioReevewasthemostinterestingbeauIeverhad。Butwhenhetoldastoryhedresseditupsothatyoucouldn’tseeitforfrills。

Inevercoulddecidewhetherhewaslyingorjustlettinghisimaginationrunloose。"

"Andwhatabouttheothers，Aunty？"

"Goawayandunpack，"saidAuntJamesina，wavingJosephatthembymistakeforaneedle。"Theothersweretoonicetomakefunof。

Ishallrespecttheirmemory。There’saboxofflowersinyourroom，Anne。Theycameaboutanhourago。"

AfterthefirstweekthegirlsofPatty’sPlacesettleddowntoasteadygrindofstudy；forthiswastheirlastyearatRedmondandgraduationhonorsmustbefoughtforpersistently。AnnedevotedherselftoEnglish，Priscillaporedoverclassics，andPhilippapoundedawayatMathematics。Sometimestheygrewtired，sometimestheyfeltdiscouraged，sometimesnothingseemedworththestruggleforit。InonesuchmoodStellawandereduptotheblueroomonerainyNovemberevening。Annesatonthefloorinalittlecircleoflightcastbythelampbesideher，amidasurroundingsnowofcrumpledmanuscript。

"Whatintheworldareyoudoing？"

"JustlookingoversomeoldStoryClubyarns。IwantedsomethingtocheerANDinebriate。I’dstudieduntiltheworldseemedazure。

SoIcameuphereanddugtheseoutofmytrunk。Theyaresodrenchedintearsandtragedythattheyareexcruciatinglyfunny。"

"I’mblueanddiscouragedmyself，"saidStella，throwingherselfonthecouch。"Nothingseemsworthwhile。Myverythoughtsareold。I’vethoughtthemallbefore。Whatistheuseoflivingafterall，Anne？"

"Honey，it’sjustbrainfagthatmakesusfeelthatway，andtheweather。

Apouringrainynightlikethis，comingafterahardday’sgrind，wouldsquelchanyonebutaMarkTapley。YouknowitISworthwhiletolive。"

"Oh，Isupposeso。ButIcan’tproveittomyselfjustnow。"

"Justthinkofallthegreatandnoblesoulswhohavelivedandworkedintheworld，"saidAnnedreamily。"Isn’titworthwhiletocomeafterthemandinheritwhattheywonandtaught？Isn’titworthwhiletothinkwecansharetheirinspiration？Andthen，allthegreatsoulsthatwillcomeinthefuture？Isn’titworthwhiletoworkalittleandpreparethewayforthem——

makejustonestepintheirpatheasier？"

"Oh，mymindagreeswithyou，Anne。Butmysoulremainsdolefulanduninspired。I’malwaysgrubbyanddingyonrainynights。"

"SomenightsIliketherain——Iliketolieinbedandhearitpatteringontheroofanddriftingthroughthepines。"

"Ilikeitwhenitstaysontheroof，"saidStella。"Itdoesn’talways。Ispentagruesomenightinanoldcountryfarmhouselastsummer。Theroofleakedandtheraincamepatteringdownonmybed。TherewasnopoetryinTHAT。Ihadtogetupinthe`mirkmidnight’andchivyroundtopullthebedsteadoutofthedrip——anditwasoneofthosesolid，old-fashionedbedsthatweighaton——moreorless。Andthenthatdrip-drop，drip-dropkeptupallnightuntilmynervesjustwenttopieces。You’venoideawhataneerienoiseagreatdropofrainfallingwithamushythudonabarefloormakesinthenight。Itsoundslikeghostlyfootstepsandallthatsortofthing。Whatareyoulaughingover，Anne？"

"Thesestories。AsPhilwouldsaytheyarekilling——inmoresensesthanone，foreverybodydiedinthem。Whatdazzlinglylovelyheroineswehad——andhowwedressedthem！Silks——satins——velvets——jewels——laces——theyneverworeanythingelse。HereisoneofJaneAndrews’

storiesdepictingherheroineassleepinginabeautifulwhitesatinnightdresstrimmedwithseedpearls。"

"Goon，"saidStella。"Ibegintofeelthatlifeisworthlivingaslongasthere’salaughinit。"

"Here’soneIwrote。Myheroineisdisportingherselfataball`glitteringfromheadtofootwithlargediamondsofthefirstwater。’Butwhatbootedbeautyorrichattire？`Thepathsofgloryleadbuttothegrave。’Theymusteitherbemurderedordieofabrokenheart。Therewasnoescapeforthem。"

"Letmereadsomeofyourstories。"

"Well，here’smymasterpiece。Noteitscheerfultitle——`MyGraves。’

Ishedquartsoftearswhilewritingit，andtheothergirlsshedgallonswhileIreadit。JaneAndrews’motherscoldedherfrightfullybecauseshehadsomanyhandkerchiefsinthewashthatweek。It’saharrowingtaleofthewanderingsofaMethodistminister’swife。ImadeheraMethodistbecauseitwasnecessarythatsheshouldwander。Sheburiedachildeveryplaceshelivedin。Therewerenineofthemandtheirgraveswereseveredfarapart，rangingfromNewfoundlandtoVancouver。

Idescribedthechildren，picturedtheirseveraldeathbeds，anddetailedtheirtombstonesandepitaphs。IhadintendedtoburythewholeninebutwhenIhaddisposedofeightmyinventionofhorrorsgaveoutandIpermittedtheninthtoliveasahopelesscripple。"

WhileStellareadMyGraves，punctuatingitstragicparagraphswithchuckles，andRustysleptthesleepofajustcatwhohasbeenoutallnightcurleduponaJaneAndrewstaleofabeautifulmaidenoffifteenwhowenttonurseinalepercolony——ofcoursedyingoftheloathsomediseasefinally——AnneglancedovertheothermanuscriptsandrecalledtheolddaysatAvonleaschoolwhenthemembersoftheStoryClub，sittingunderthesprucetreesordownamongthefernsbythebrook，hadwrittenthem。Whatfuntheyhadhad！

Howthesunshineandmirthofthoseoldensummersreturnedassheread。

NotalltheglorythatwasGreeceorthegrandeurthatwasRomecouldweavesuchwizardryasthosefunny，tearfultalesoftheStoryClub。

AmongthemanuscriptsAnnefoundonewrittenonsheetsofwrappingpaper。

Awaveoflaughterfilledhergrayeyesassherecalledthetimeandplaceofitsgenesis。ItwasthesketchshehadwrittenthedayshefellthroughtheroofoftheCobbduckhouseontheToryRoad。

Anneglancedoverit，thenfelltoreadingitintently。Itwasalittledialoguebetweenastersandsweet-peas，wildcanariesinthelilacbush，andtheguardianspiritofthegarden。Aftershehadreadit，shesat，staringintospace；andwhenStellahadgoneshesmoothedoutthecrumpledmanuscript。

"IbelieveIwill，"shesaidresolutely。

ChapterXXXVI

TheGardners’Call"HereisaletterwithanIndianstampforyou，AuntJimsie，"

saidPhil。"HerearethreeforStella，andtwoforPris，andagloriousfatoneformefromJo。There’snothingforyou，Anne，exceptacircular。"

NobodynoticedAnne’sflushasshetookthethinletterPhiltossedhercarelessly。ButafewminuteslaterPhillookeduptoseeatransfiguredAnne。

"Honey，whatgoodthinghashappened？"

"TheYouth’sFriendhasacceptedalittlesketchIsentthemafortnightago，"saidAnne，tryinghardtospeakasifshewereaccustomedtohavingsketchesacceptedeverymail，butnotquitesucceeding。

"AnneShirley！Howglorious！Whatwasit？Whenisittobepublished？Didtheypayyouforit？"

"Yes；they’vesentacheckfortendollars，andtheeditorwritesthathewouldliketoseemoreofmywork。Dearman，heshall。

ItwasanoldsketchIfoundinmybox。Ire-wroteitandsentitin——butIneverreallythoughtitcouldbeacceptedbecauseithadnoplot，"saidAnne，recallingthebitterexperienceofAveril’sAtonement。

"Whatareyougoingtodowiththattendollars，Anne？Let’sallgouptownandgetdrunk，"suggestedPhil。

"IAMgoingtosquanderitinawildsoullessrevelofsomesort，"

declaredAnnegaily。"Atalleventsitisn’ttaintedmoney——

likethecheckIgotforthathorribleReliableBakingPowderstory。

IspentITusefullyforclothesandhatedthemeverytimeIputthemon。"

"ThinkofhavingarealliveauthoratPatty’sPlace，"saidPriscilla。

"It’sagreatresponsibility，"saidAuntJamesinasolemnly。

"Indeeditis，"agreedPriswithequalsolemnity。"Authorsarekittlecattle。Youneverknowwhenorhowtheywillbreakout。

Annemaymakecopyofus。"

"ImeantthattheabilitytowriteforthePresswasagreatresponsibility，"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。"andIhopeAnnerealizes，it。Mydaughterusedtowritestoriesbeforeshewenttotheforeignfield，butnowshehasturnedherattentiontohigherthings。Sheusedtosayhermottowas`Neverwritealineyouwouldbeashamedtoreadatyourownfuneral。’You’dbettertakethatforyours，Anne，ifyouaregoingtoembarkinliterature。

Though，tobesure，"addedAuntJamesinaperplexedly，"Elizabethalwaysusedtolaughwhenshesaidit。ShealwayslaughedsomuchthatIdon’tknowhowsheevercametodecideonbeingamissionary。

I’mthankfulshedid——Iprayedthatshemight——but——Iwishshehadn’t。"

ThenAuntJamesinawonderedwhythosegiddygirlsalllaughed。

Anne’seyesshoneallthatday；literaryambitionssproutedandbuddedinherbrain；theirexhilarationaccompaniedhertoJennieCooper’swalkingparty，andnoteventhesightofGilbertandChristine，walkingjustaheadofherandRoy，couldquitesubduethesparkleofherstarryhopes。Nevertheless，shewasnotsoraptfromthingsofearthastobeunabletonoticethatChristine’swalkwasdecidedlyungraceful。

"ButIsupposeGilbertlooksonlyatherface。Solikeaman，"

thoughtAnnescornfully。

"ShallyoubehomeSaturdayafternoon？"askedRoy。

"Yes。"

"Mymotherandsistersarecomingtocallonyou，"saidRoyquietly。

SomethingwentoverAnnewhichmightbedescribedasathrill，butitwashardlyapleasantone。ShehadnevermetanyofRoy’sfamily；

sherealizedthesignificanceofhisstatement；andithad，somehow，anirrevocablenessaboutitthatchilledher。

"Ishallbegladtoseethem，"shesaidflatly；andthenwonderedifshereallywouldbeglad。Sheoughttobe，ofcourse。Butwoulditnotbesomethingofanordeal？GossiphadfilteredtoAnneregardingthelightinwhichtheGardnersviewedthe"infatuation"ofsonandbrother。Roymusthavebroughtpressuretobearinthematterofthiscall。Anneknewshewouldbeweighedinthebalance。Fromthefactthattheyhadconsentedtocallsheunderstoodthat，willinglyorunwillingly，theyregardedherasapossiblememberoftheirclan。

"Ishalljustbemyself。IshallnotTRYtomakeagoodimpression，"

thoughtAnneloftily。ButshewaswonderingwhatdressshewouldbetterwearSaturdayafternoon，andifthenewstyleofhighhair-dressingwouldsuitherbetterthantheold；andthewalkingpartywasratherspoiledforher。BynightshehaddecidedthatshewouldwearherbrownchiffononSaturday，butwoulddoherhairlow。

FridayafternoonnoneofthegirlshadclassesatRedmond。

StellatooktheopportunitytowriteapaperforthePhilomathicSociety，andwassittingatthetableinthecorneroftheliving-roomwithanuntidylitterofnotesandmanuscriptontheflooraroundher。Stellaalwaysvowedshenevercouldwriteanythingunlessshethreweachsheetdownasshecompletedit。

Anne，inherflannelblouseandsergeskirt，withherhairratherblownfromherwindywalkhome，wassittingsquarelyinthemiddleofthefloor，teasingtheSarah-catwithawishbone。

JosephandRustywerebothcurledupinherlap。Awarmplummyodorfilledthewholehouse，forPriscillawascookinginthekitchen。Presentlyshecamein，enshroudedinahugework-apron，withasmudgeofflouronhernose，toshowAuntJamesinathechocolatecakeshehadjusticed。

Atthisauspiciousmomenttheknockersounded。NobodypaidanyattentiontoitsavePhil，whosprangupandopenedit，expectingaboywiththehatshehadboughtthatmorning。OnthedoorstepstoodMrs。Gardnerandherdaughters。

Annescrambledtoherfeetsomehow，emptyingtwoindignantcatsoutofherlapasshedidso，andmechanicallyshiftingherwishbonefromherrighthandtoherleft。Priscilla，whowouldhavehadtocrosstheroomtoreachthekitchendoor，lostherhead，wildlyplungedthechocolatecakeunderacushionontheinglenooksofa，anddashedupstairs。Stellabeganfeverishlygatheringuphermanuscript。OnlyAuntJamesinaandPhilremainednormal。Thankstothem，everybodywassoonsittingatease，evenAnne。Priscillacamedown，apronlessandsmudgeless，Stellareducedhercornertodecency，andPhilsavedthesituationbyastreamofreadysmalltalk。

Mrs。Gardnerwastallandthinandhandsome，exquisitelygowned，cordialwithacordialitythatseemedatrifleforced。

AlineGardnerwasayoungereditionofhermother，lackingthecordiality。Sheendeavoredtobenice，butsucceededonlyinbeinghaughtyandpatronizing。DorothyGardnerwasslimandjollyandrathertomboyish。AnneknewshewasRoy’sfavoritesisterandwarmedtoher。ShewouldhavelookedverymuchlikeRoyifshehadhaddreamydarkeyesinsteadofroguishhazelones。ThankstoherandPhil，thecallreallywentoffverywell，exceptforaslightsenseofstrainintheatmosphereandtworatheruntowardincidents。RustyandJoseph，lefttothemselves，beganagameofchase，andsprangmadlyintoMrs。Gardner’ssilkenlapandoutofitintheirwildcareer。

Mrs。Gardnerliftedherlorgnetteandgazedaftertheirflyingformsasifshehadneverseencatsbefore，andAnne，chokingbackslightlynervouslaughter，apologizedasbestshecould。

"Youarefondofcats？"saidMrs。Gardner，withaslightintonationoftolerantwonder。

Anne，despiteheraffectionforRusty，wasnotespeciallyfondofcats，butMrs。Gardner’stoneannoyedher。InconsequentlysherememberedthatMrs。JohnBlythewassofondofcatsthatshekeptasmanyasherhusbandwouldallow。

"TheyAREadorableanimals，aren’tthey？"shesaidwickedly。

"Ihaveneverlikedcats，"saidMrs。Gardnerremotely。

"Ilovethem，"saidDorothy。"Theyaresoniceandselfish。

DogsareTOOgoodandunselfish。Theymakemefeeluncomfortable。

Butcatsaregloriouslyhuman。"

"Youhavetwodelightfuloldchinadogsthere。MayIlookatthemclosely？"saidAline，crossingtheroomtowardsthefireplaceandtherebybecomingtheunconsciouscauseoftheotheraccident。

PickingupMagog，shesatdownonthecushionunderwhichwassecretedPriscilla’schocolatecake。PriscillaandAnneexchangedagonizedglancesbutcoulddonothing。ThestatelyAlinecontinuedtositonthecushionanddiscusschinadogsuntilthetimeofdeparture。

DorothylingeredbehindamomenttosqueezeAnne’shandandwhisperimpulsively。

"IKNOWyouandIaregoingtobechums。Oh，Royhastoldmeallaboutyou。I’mtheonlyoneofthefamilyhetellsthingsto，poorboy——nobodyCOULDconfideinmammaandAline，youknow。

Whatglorioustimesyougirlsmusthavehere！Won’tyouletmecomeoftenandhaveashareinthem？"

"Comeasoftenasyoulike，"Annerespondedheartily，thankfulthatoneofRoy’ssisterswaslikable。ShewouldneverlikeAline，somuchwascertain；andAlinewouldneverlikeher，thoughMrs。Gardnermightbewon。Altogether，Annesighedwithreliefwhentheordealwasover。

"`OfallsadwordsoftongueorpenThesaddestareitmighthavebeen，’"

quotedPriscillatragically，liftingthecushion。"Thiscakeisnowwhatyoumightcallaflatfailure。Andthecushionislikewiseruined。NevertellmethatFridayisn’tunlucky。"

"PeoplewhosendwordtheyarecomingonSaturdayshouldn’tcomeonFriday，"saidAuntJamesina。

"IfancyitwasRoy’smistake，"saidPhil。"Thatboyisn’treallyresponsibleforwhathesayswhenhetalkstoAnne。WhereISAnne？"

Annehadgoneupstairs。Shefeltoddlylikecrying。Butshemadeherselflaughinstead。RustyandJosephhadbeenTOOawful！

AndDorothyWASadear。

ChapterXXXVII

Full-fledgedB。A。’s"IwishIweredead，orthatitweretomorrownight，"groanedPhil。

"Ifyoulivelongenoughbothwisheswillcometrue，"saidAnnecalmly。

"It’seasyforyoutobeserene。You’reathomeinPhilosophy。

I’mnot——andwhenIthinkofthathorriblepapertomorrowIquail。

IfIshouldfailinitwhatwouldJosay？"

"Youwon’tfail。HowdidyougetoninGreektoday？"

"Idon’tknow。PerhapsitwasagoodpaperandperhapsitwasbadenoughtomakeHomerturnoverinhisgrave。I’vestudiedandmulledovernotebooksuntilI’mincapableofforminganopinionofanything。HowthankfullittlePhilwillbewhenallthisexaminatingisover。"

"Examinating？Ineverheardsuchaword。"

"Well，haven’tIasgoodarighttomakeawordasanyoneelse？"

demandedPhil。

"Wordsaren’tmade——theygrow，"saidAnne。

"Nevermind——Ibeginfaintlytodiscernclearwateraheadwherenoexaminationbreakersloom。Girls，doyou——canyourealizethatourRedmondLifeisalmostover？"

"Ican’t，"saidAnne，sorrowfully。"ItseemsjustyesterdaythatPrisandIwerealoneinthatcrowdofFreshmenatRedmond。

AndnowweareSeniorsinourfinalexaminations。"

"`Potent，wise，andreverendSeniors，’"quotedPhil。"DoyousupposewereallyareanywiserthanwhenwecametoRedmond？"

"Youdon’tactasifyouwerebytimes，"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。

"Oh，AuntJimsie，haven’twebeenprettygoodgirls，takeusbyandlarge，thesethreewintersyou’vemotheredus？"pleadedPhil。

"You’vebeenfourofthedearest，sweetest，goodestgirlsthateverwenttogetherthroughcollege，"averredAuntJamesina，whoneverspoiledacomplimentbymisplacedeconomy。

"ButImistrustyouhaven’tanytoomuchsenseyet。It’snottobeexpected，ofcourse。Experienceteachessense。Youcan’tlearnitinacollegecourse。You’vebeentocollegefouryearsandIneverwas，butIknowheapsmorethanyoudo，youngladies。"

"`Therearelotsofthingsthatnevergobyrule，There’sapowerfulpileo’knowledgeThatyounevergetatcollege，Thereareheapsofthingsyouneverlearnatschool，’"

quotedStella。

"HaveyoulearnedanythingatRedmondexceptdeadlanguagesandgeometryandsuchtrash？"queriedAuntJamesina。

"Oh，yes。Ithinkwehave，Aunty，"protestedAnne。

"We’velearnedthetruthofwhatProfessorWoodleightolduslastPhilomathic，"saidPhil。"Hesaid，`Humoristhespiciestcondimentinthefeastofexistence。Laughatyourmistakesbutlearnfromthem，jokeoveryourtroublesbutgatherstrengthfromthem，makeajestofyourdifficultiesbutovercomethem。’

Isn’tthatworthlearning，AuntJimsie？"

"Yes，itis，dearie。Whenyou’velearnedtolaughatthethingsthatshouldbelaughedat，andnottolaughatthosethatshouldn’t，you’vegotwisdomandunderstanding。"

"WhathaveyougotoutofyourRedmondcourse，Anne？"murmuredPriscillaaside。

"Ithink，"saidAnneslowly，"thatIreallyhavelearnedtolookuponeachlittlehindranceasajestandeachgreatoneastheforeshadowingofvictory。Summingup，IthinkthatiswhatRedmondhasgivenme。"

"IshallhavetofallbackonanotherProfessorWoodleighquotationtoexpresswhatithasdoneforme，"saidPriscilla。

"Yourememberthathesaidinhisaddress，`Thereissomuchintheworldforusallifweonlyhavetheeyestoseeit，andthehearttoloveit，andthehandtogatherittoourselves——

somuchinmenandwomen，somuchinartandliterature，somucheverywhereinwhichtodelight，andforwhichtobethankful。’

IthinkRedmondhastaughtmethatinsomemeasure，Anne。"

"Judgingfromwhatyouall，say"remarkedAuntJamesina，"thesumandsubstanceisthatyoucanlearn——ifyou’vegotnaturalgumptionenough——infouryearsatcollegewhatitwouldtakeabouttwentyyearsoflivingtoteachyou。Well，thatjustifieshighereducationinmyopinion。It’samatterIwasalwaysdubiousaboutbefore。"

"Butwhataboutpeoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumption，AuntJimsie？"

"Peoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumptionneverlearn，"retortedAuntJamesina，"neitherincollegenorlife。Iftheylivetobeahundredtheyreallydon’tknowanythingmorethanwhentheywereborn。It’stheirmisfortunenottheirfault，poorsouls。

ButthoseofuswhohavesomegumptionshoulddulythanktheLordforit。"

"Willyoupleasedefinewhatgumptionis，AuntJimsie？"askedPhil。

"No，Iwon’t，youngwoman。Anyonewhohasgumptionknowswhatitis，andanyonewhohasn’tcanneverknowwhatitis。Sothereisnoneedofdefiningit。"

Thebusydaysflewbyandexaminationswereover。AnnetookHighHonorsinEnglish。PriscillatookHonorsinClassics，andPhilinMathematics。Stellaobtainedagoodall-roundshowing。

ThencameConvocation。

"ThisiswhatIwouldoncehavecalledanepochinmylife，"

saidAnne，asshetookRoy’svioletsoutoftheirboxandgazedatthemthoughtfully。Shemeanttocarrythem，ofcourse，buthereyeswanderedtoanotherboxonhertable。Itwasfilledwithlilies-of-the-valley，asfreshandfragrantasthosewhichbloomedintheGreenGablesyardwhenJunecametoAvonlea。

GilbertBlythe’scardlaybesideit。

AnnewonderedwhyGilbertshouldhavesentherflowersforConvocation。

Shehadseenverylittleofhimduringthepastwinter。HehadcometoPatty’sPlaceonlyoneFridayeveningsincetheChristmasholidays，andtheyrarelymetelsewhere。Sheknewhewasstudyingveryhard，aimingatHighHonorsandtheCooperPrize，andhetooklittlepartinthesocialdoingsofRedmond。Anne’sownwinterhadbeenquitegaysocially。ShehadseenagooddealoftheGardners；sheandDorothywereveryintimate；collegecirclesexpectedtheannouncementofherengagementtoRoyanyday。Anneexpecteditherself。YetjustbeforesheleftPatty’sPlaceforConvocationsheflungRoy’svioletsasideandputGilbert’slilies-of-the-valleyintheirplace。

Shecouldnothavetoldwhyshedidit。Somehow，oldAvonleadaysanddreamsandfriendshipsseemedveryclosetoherinthisattainmentofherlong-cherishedambitions。SheandGilberthadoncepicturedoutmerrilythedayonwhichtheyshouldbecappedandgownedgraduatesinArts。ThewonderfuldayhadcomeandRoy’svioletshadnoplaceinit。

Onlyheroldfriend’sflowersseemedtobelongtothisfruitionofold-blossominghopeswhichhehadonceshared。

Foryearsthisdayhadbeckonedandalluredtoher；butwhenitcametheonesingle，keen，abidingmemoryitleftwithherwasnotthatofthebreathlessmomentwhenthestatelypresidentofRedmondgavehercapanddiplomaandhailedherB。A。；itwasnotoftheflashinGilbert’seyeswhenhesawherlilies，northepuzzledpainedglanceRoygaveherashepassedherontheplatform。

ItwasnotofAlineGardner’scondescendingcongratulations，orDorothy’sardent，impulsivegoodwishes。Itwasofonestrange，unaccountablepangthatspoiledthislong-expecteddayforherandleftinitacertainfaintbutenduringflavorofbitterness。

TheArtsgraduatesgaveagraduationdancethatnight。WhenAnnedressedforitshetossedasidethepearlbeadssheusuallyworeandtookfromhertrunkthesmallboxthathadcometoGreenGablesonChristmasday。Initwasathread-likegoldchainwithatinypinkenamelheartasapendant。Ontheaccompanyingcardwaswritten，"Withallgoodwishesfromyouroldchum，Gilbert。"Anne，laughingoverthememorytheenamelheartconjuredupthefataldaywhenGilberthadcalledher"Carrots"andvainlytriedtomakehispeacewithapinkcandyheart，hadwrittenhimanicelittlenoteofthanks。

Butshehadneverwornthetrinket。Tonightshefasteneditaboutherwhitethroatwithadreamysmile。

SheandPhilwalkedtoRedmondtogether。Annewalkedinsilence；

Philchatteredofmanythings。Suddenlyshesaid，"IheardtodaythatGilbertBlythe’sengagementtoChristineStuartwastobeannouncedassoonasConvocationwasover。

Didyouhearanythingofit？"

"No，"saidAnne。

"Ithinkit’strue，"saidPhillightly。

Annedidnotspeak。Inthedarknessshefeltherfaceburning。

Sheslippedherhandinsidehercollarandcaughtatthegoldchain。Oneenergetictwistanditgaveway。Annethrustthebrokentrinketintoherpocket。Herhandsweretremblingandhereyesweresmarting。

Butshewasthegayestofallthegayrevellersthatnight，andtoldGilbertunregretfullythathercardwasfullwhenhecametoaskherforadance。Afterwards，whenshesatwiththegirlsbeforethedyingembersatPatty’sPlace，removingthespringchillinessfromtheirsatinskins，nonechattedmoreblithelythansheoftheday’sevents。

"MoodySpurgeonMacPhersoncalledheretonightafteryouleft，"

saidAuntJamesina，whohadsatuptokeepthefireon。"Hedidn’tknowaboutthegraduationdance。Thatboyoughttosleepwitharubberbandaroundhisheadtotrainhisearsnottostickout。

Ihadabeauoncewhodidthatanditimprovedhimimmensely。

ItwasIwhosuggestedittohimandhetookmyadvice，butheneverforgavemeforit。"

"MoodySpurgeonisaveryseriousyoungman，"yawnedPriscilla。

"Heisconcernedwithgravermattersthanhisears。Heisgoingtobeaminister，youknow。"

"Well，IsupposetheLorddoesn’tregardtheearsofaman，"

saidAuntJamesinagravely，droppingallfurthercriticismofMoodySpurgeon。AuntJamesinahadaproperrespectfortheclotheveninthecaseofanunfledgedparson。

ChapterXXXVIII

FalseDawn"Justimagine——thisnightweekI’llbeinAvonlea——delightfulthought！"

saidAnne，bendingovertheboxinwhichshewaspackingMrs。RachelLynde’squilts。"Butjustimagine——thisnightweekI’llbegoneforeverfromPatty’sPlace——horriblethought！"

"IwonderiftheghostofallourlaughterwillechothroughthemaidendreamsofMissPattyandMissMaria，"speculatedPhil。

MissPattyandMissMariawerecominghome，afterhavingtrottedovermostofthehabitableglobe。

"We’llbebackthesecondweekinMay"wroteMissPatty。"IexpectPatty’sPlacewillseemrathersmallaftertheHalloftheKingsatKarnak，butIneverdidlikebigplacestolivein。AndI’llbegladenoughtobehomeagain。Whenyoustarttravelinglateinlifeyou’reapttodotoomuchofitbecauseyouknowyouhaven’tmuchtimeleft，andit’sathingthatgrowsonyou。I’mafraidMariawillneverbecontentedagain。"

"Ishallleaveheremyfanciesanddreamstoblessthenextcomer，"

saidAnne，lookingaroundtheblueroomwistfully——herprettyblueroomwhereshehadspentthreesuchhappyyears。Shehadkneltatitswindowtoprayandhadbentfromittowatchthesunsetbehindthepines。Shehadheardtheautumnraindropsbeatingagainstitandhadwelcomedthespringrobinsatitssill。Shewonderedifolddreamscouldhauntrooms——if，whenoneleftforevertheroomwhereshehadjoyedandsufferedandlaughedandwept，somethingofher，intangibleandinvisible，yetnonethelessreal，didnotremainbehindlikeavoicefulmemory。

"Ithink，"saidPhil，"thataroomwhereonedreamsandgrievesandrejoicesandlivesbecomesinseparablyconnectedwiththoseprocessesandacquiresapersonalityofitsown。IamsureifI

cameintothisroomfiftyyearsfromnowitwouldsay’Anne，Anne’

tome。Whatnicetimeswe’vehadhere，honey！Whatchatsandjokesandgoodchummyjamborees！Oh，dearme！I’mtomarryJoinJuneandIknowIwillberapturouslyhappy。ButjustnowIfeelasifIwantedthislovelyRedmondlifetogoonforever。"

"I’munreasonableenoughjustnowtowishthat，too，"admittedAnne。

"Nomatterwhatdeeperjoysmaycometouslateronwe’llneveragainhavejustthesamedelightful，irresponsibleexistencewe’vehadhere。

It’soverforever，Phil。"