第8章

Theycameuponaplatform，andstoodbeforehercompartment。

Hetookherhandandlookedintohereyesandspoke，dividedagainsthimself，inavoicethatwasforcedandinsincere。

"Ishallbeverygladtohaveyouforafriend，"hesaid，"lovingfriend。Ihadneverdreamedofsuchafriendasyou。"

Shesmiled，sureofherselfbeyondanypretending，intohistroubledeyes。Hadn’ttheysettledthatalready？

"Iwantyouasafriend，"hepersisted，almostasifhedisputedsomething。

Part5

Thenextmorningshewaitedinthelaboratoryatthelunch-hourinthereasonablecertaintythathewouldcometoher。

"Well，youhavethoughtitover？"hesaid，sittingdownbesideher。

"I’vebeenthinkingofyouallnight，"sheanswered。

"Well？"

"Idon’tcarearapforallthesethings。"

Hesaidnothingforaspace。

"Idon’tseethere’sanygettingawayfromthefactthatyouandIloveeachother，"hesaid，slowly。"Sofaryou’vegotmeandI

you……You’vegotme。I’mlikeacreaturejustwakenedup。

Myeyesareopentoyou。Ikeeponthinkingofyou。Ikeeponthinkingoflittledetailsandaspectsofyourvoice，youreyes，thewayyouwalk，thewayyourhairgoesbackfromthesideofyourforehead。IbelieveIhavealwaysbeeninlovewithyou。

Always。BeforeeverIknewyou。"

Shesatmotionless，withherhandtighteningovertheedgeofthetable，andhe，too，saidnomore。Shebegantotrembleviolently。

Hestoodupabruptlyandwenttothewindow。

"Wehave，"hesaid，"tobetheutmostfriends。"

Shestoodupandheldherarmstowardhim。"Iwantyoutokissme，"shesaid。

Hegrippedthewindow-sillbehindhim。

"IfIdo，"hesaid……"No！Iwanttodowithoutthat。I

wanttodowithoutthatforatime。Iwanttogiveyoutimetothink。Iamaman——ofasortofexperience。Youareagirlwithverylittle。Justsitdownonthatstoolagainandlet’stalkofthisincoldblood。Peopleofyoursort——Idon’twanttheinstinctsto——torushoursituation。Areyousurewhatitisyouwantofme？"

"Iwantyou。Iwantyoutobemylover。Iwanttogivemyselftoyou。IwanttobewhateverIcantoyou。"Shepausedforamoment。"Isthatplain？"sheasked。

"IfIdidn’tloveyoubetterthanmyself，"saidCapes，"I

wouldn’tfencelikethiswithyou。

"Iamconvincedyouhaven’tthoughtthisout，"hewenton。"Youdonotknowwhatsucharelationmeans。Weareinlove。Ourheadsswimwiththethoughtofbeingtogether。Butwhatcanwedo？HereamI，fixedtorespectabilityandthislaboratory；

you’relivingathome。Itmeans……justfurtivemeetings。"

"Idon’tcarehowwemeet，"shesaid。

"Itwillspoilyourlife。"

"Itwillmakeit。Iwantyou。IamclearIwantyou。Youaredifferentfromalltheworldforme。Youcanthinkallroundme。

YouaretheonepersonIcanunderstandandfeel——feelrightwith。Idon’tidealizeyou。Don’timaginethat。Itisn’tbecauseyou’regood，butbecauseImayberottenbad；andthere’ssomething——somethinglivingandunderstandinginyou。Somethingthatisbornaneweachtimewemeet，andpineswhenweareseparated。Yousee，I’mselfish。I’mratherscornful。Ithinktoomuchaboutmyself。You’retheonlypersonI’vereallygivengood，straight，unselfishthoughtto。I’mmakingamessofmylife——unlessyoucomeinandtakeit。Iam。Inyou——ifyoucanloveme——thereissalvation。Salvation。IknowwhatIamdoingbetterthanyoudo。Think——thinkofthatengagement！"

Theirtalkhadcometoeloquentsilencesthatcontradictedallhehadtosay。

Shestoodupbeforehim，smilingfaintly。

"Ithinkwe’veexhaustedthisdiscussion，"shesaid。

"Ithinkwehave，"heanswered，gravely，andtookherinhisarms，andsmoothedherhairfromherforehead，andverytenderlykissedherlips。

Part6

TheyspentthenextSundayinRichmondPark，andmingledthehappysensationofbeingtogetheruninterruptedlythroughthelongsunshineofasummer’sdaywiththeamplediscussionoftheirposition。"Thishasallthecleanfreshnessofspringandyouth，"saidCapes；"itislovewiththedownon；itisliketheglitterofdewinthesunlighttobeloverssuchasweare，withnomorethanonewarmkissbetweenus。Iloveeverythingto-day，andallofyou，butIlovethis，this——thisinnocenceuponusmostofall。

"Youcan’timagine，"hesaid，"whatabeastlythingafurtiveloveaffaircanbe。

"Thisisn’tfurtive，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Notabitofit。Andwewon’tmakeitso……Wemustn’tmakeitso。"

Theyloiteredundertrees，theysatonmossybankstheygossipedonfriendlybenches，theycamebacktolunchatthe"StarandGarter，"andtalkedtheirafternoonawayinthegardenthatlooksoutuponthecrescentoftheriver。Theyhadauniversetotalkabout——twouniverses。

"Whatarewegoingtodo？"saidCapes，withhiseyesonthebroaddistancesbeyondtheribbonoftheriver。

"Iwilldowhateveryouwant，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Myfirstlovewasallblundering，"saidCapes。

Hethoughtforamoment，andwenton:"Loveissomethingthathastobetakencareof。Onehastobesocareful……It’sabeautifulplant，butatenderone……Ididn’tknow。I’veadreadoflovedroppingitspetals，becomingmeanandugly。HowcanItellyouallIfeel？Iloveyoubeyondmeasure。AndI’mafraid……I’manxious，joyfullyanxious，likeamanwhenhehasfoundatreasure。"

"YOUknow，"saidAnnVeronica。"Ijustcametoyouandputmyselfinyourhands。"

"That’swhy，inaway，I’mprudish。I’ve——dreads。Idon’twanttotearatyouwithhot，roughhands。"

"Asyouwill，dearlover。Butformeitdoesn’tmatter。Nothingiswrongthatyoudo。Nothing。Iamquiteclearaboutthis。I

knowexactlywhatIamdoing。Igivemyselftoyou。"

"Godsendyoumayneverrepentit！"criedCapes。

Sheputherhandinhistobesqueezed。

"Yousee，"hesaid，"itisdoubtfulifwecanevermarry。Verydoubtful。Ihavebeenthinking——Iwillgotomywifeagain。I

willdomyutmost。Butforalongtime，anyhow，welovershavetobeasifwewerenomorethanfriends。"

Hepaused。Sheansweredslowly。"Thatisasyouwill，"shesaid。

"Whyshoulditmatter？"hesaid。

Andthen，assheanswerednothing，"Seeingthatwearelovers。"

Part7

ItwasratherlessthanaweekafterthatwalkthatCapescameandsatdownbesideAnnVeronicafortheircustomarytalkinthelunchhour。Hetookahandfulofalmondsandraisinsthatsheheldouttohim——forboththeseyoungpeoplehadgivenupthepracticeofgoingoutforluncheon——andkeptherhandforamomenttokissherfinger-tips。Hedidnotspeakforamoment。

"Well？"shesaid。

"Isay！"hesaid，withoutanymovement。"Let’sgo。"

"Go！"Shedidnotunderstandhimatfirst，andthenherheartbegantobeatveryrapidly。

"Stopthis——thishumbugging，"heexplained。"It’slikethePictureandtheBust。Ican’tstandit。Let’sgo。Gooffandlivetogether——untilwecanmarry。Dareyou？"

"DoyoumeanNOW？"

"Attheendofthesession。It’stheonlycleanwayforus。Areyoupreparedtodoit？"

Herhandsclenched。"Yes，"shesaid，veryfaintly。Andthen:

"Ofcourse！Always。ItiswhatIhavewanted，whatIhavemeantallalong。"

Shestaredbeforeher，tryingtokeepbackarushoftears。

Capeskeptobstinatelystiff，andspokebetweenhisteeth。

"There’sendlessreasons，nodoubt，whyweshouldn’t，"hesaid。

"Endless。It’swrongintheeyesofmostpeople。Formanyofthemitwillsmirchusforever……YouDOunderstand？"

"Whocaresformostpeople？"shesaid，notlookingathim。

"Ido。Itmeanssocialisolation——struggle。"

"Ifyoudare——Idare，"saidAnnVeronica。"IwasneversoclearinallmylifeasIhavebeeninthisbusiness。"Sheliftedsteadfasteyestohim。"Dare！"shesaid。Thetearswerewellingovernow，buthervoicewassteady。"You’renotamanforme——notoneofasex，Imean。You’rejustaparticularbeingwithnothingelseintheworldtoclasswithyou。Youarejustnecessarytolifeforme。I’venevermetanyonelikeyou。Tohaveyouisallimportant。Nothingelseweighsagainstit。

Moralsonlybeginwhenthatissettled。Isha’n’tcarearapifwecannevermarry。I’mnotabitafraidofanything——scandal，difficulty，struggle……Iratherwantthem。Idowantthem。"

"You’llgetthem，"hesaid。"Thismeansaplunge。"

"Areyouafraid？"

"Onlyforyou！Mostofmyincomewillvanish。Evenunbelievingbiologicaldemonstratorsmustrespectdecorum；andbesides，yousee——youwereastudent。Weshallhave——hardlyanymoney。"

"Idon’tcare。"

"Hardshipanddanger。"

"Withyou！"

"Andasforyourpeople？"

"Theydon’tcount。Thatisthedreadfultruth。This——allthisswampsthem。Theydon’tcount，andIdon’tcare。"

Capessuddenlyabandonedhisattitudeofmeditativerestraint。

"ByJove！"hebrokeout，"onetriestotakeaserious，soberview。Idon’tquiteknowwhy。Butthisisagreatlark，AnnVeronica！Thisturnslifeintoagloriousadventure！"

"Ah！"shecriedintriumph。

"Ishallhavetogiveupbiology，anyhow。I’vealwayshadasneakingdesireforthewriting-trade。ThatiswhatImustdo。

Ican。"

"Ofcourseyoucan。"

"Andbiologywasbeginningtoboremeabit。Oneresearchisverylikeanother……LatterlyI’vebeendoingthings……

Creativeworkappealstomewonderfully。Thingsseemtocomerathereasily……Butthat，andthatsortofthing，isjustaday-dream。ForatimeImustdojournalismandworkhard……

Whatisn’taday-dreamisthis:thatyouandIaregoingtoputanendtoflummery——andgo！"

"Go！"saidAnnVeronica，clenchingherhands。

"Forbetterorworse。"

"Forricherorpoorer。"

Shecouldnotgoon，forshewaslaughingandcryingatthesametime。"Wewereboundtodothiswhenyoukissedme，"shesobbedthroughhertears。"Wehavebeenallthistime——Onlyyourqueercodeofhonor——Honor！Onceyoubeginwithloveyouhavetoseeitthrough。"

CHAPTERTHEFIFTEENTH

THELASTDAYSATHOME

Part1

TheydecidedtogotoSwitzerlandatthesession’send。"We’llcleanupeverythingtidy，"saidCapes……

Forherpride’ssake，andtosaveherselffromlongday-dreamsandanunappeasablelongingforherlover，AnnVeronicaworkedhardatherbiologyduringthoseclosingweeks。Shewas，asCapeshadsaid，ahardyoungwoman。Shewaskeenlyresolvedtodowellintheschoolexamination，andnottobedrownedintheseasofemotionthatthreatenedtosubmergeherintellectualbeing。

Nevertheless，shecouldnotpreventarisingexcitementasthedawnofthenewlifedrewneartoher——athrillingofthenerves，asecretanddeliciousexaltationabovethecommoncircumstancesofexistence。Sometimesherstrayingmindwouldbecomeastonishinglyactive——embroideringbrightanddecorativethingsthatshecouldsaytoCapes；sometimesitpassedintoastateofpassiveacquiescence，intoaradiant，formless，goldenjoy。Shewasawareofpeople——heraunt，herfather，herfellow-students，friends，andneighbors——movingaboutoutsidethisglowingsecret，verymuchasanactorisawareofthedimaudiencebeyondthebarrierofthefootlights。Theymightapplaud，orobject，orinterfere，butthedramawasherveryown。Shewasgoingthroughwiththat，anyhow。

Thefeelingoflastdaysgrewstrongerwithherastheirnumberdiminished。Shewentaboutthefamiliarhomewithaclearerandclearersenseofinevitableconclusions。Shebecameexceptionallyconsiderateandaffectionatewithherfatherandaunt，andmoreandmoreconcernedaboutthecomingcatastrophethatshewasabouttoprecipitateuponthem。Heraunthadaonceexasperatinghabitofinterruptingherworkwithdemandsforsmallhouseholdservices，butnowAnnVeronicarenderedthemwithaqueerreadinessofanticipatorypropitiation。ShewasgreatlyexercisedbytheproblemofconfidingintheWidgetts；theyweredears，andshetalkedawaytwoeveningswithConstancewithoutbroachingthetopic；shemadesomevagueintimationsinletterstoMissMiniverthatMissMiniverfailedtomark。Butshedidnotbotherherheadverymuchaboutherrelationswiththesesympathizers。

AndatlengthherpenultimatedayinMorningsideParkdawnedforher。Shegotupearly，andwalkedaboutthegardeninthedewyJunesunshineandrevivedherchildhood。Shewassayinggood-byetochildhoodandhome，andhermaking；shewasgoingoutintothegreat，multitudinousworld；thistimetherewouldbenoreturning。Shewasattheendofgirlhoodandontheeveofawoman’scrowningexperience。Shevisitedthecornerthathadbeenherownlittlegarden——herforget-me-notsandcandytufthadlongsincebeenelbowedintoinsignificancebyweeds；shevisitedtheraspberry-canesthathadshelteredthatfirstloveaffairwiththelittleboyinvelvet，andthegreenhousewhereshehadbeenwonttoreadhersecretletters。HerewastheplacebehindtheshedwhereshehadusedtohidefromRoddy’spersecutions，andheretheborderofherbaceousperennialsunderwhosestemswasfairyland。ThebackofthehousehadbeentheAlpsforclimbing，andtheshrubsinfrontofitaTerai。Theknotsandbrokenpalethatmadethegarden-fencescalable，andgaveaccesstothefieldsbehind，werestilltobetraced。Andhereagainstawallweretheplum-trees。InspiteofGodandwaspsandherfather，shehadstolenplums；andoncebecauseofdiscoveredmisdeeds，andoncebecauseshehadrealizedthathermotherwasdead，shehadlainonherfaceintheunmowngrass，beneaththeelm-treesthatcamebeyondthevegetables，andpouredouthersoulinweeping。

RemotelittleAnnVeronica！Shewouldneverknowtheheartofthatchildagain！Thatchildhadlovedfairyprinceswithvelvetsuitsandgoldenlocks，andshewasinlovewitharealmannamedCapes，withlittlegleamsofgoldonhischeekandapleasantvoiceandfirmandshapelyhands。Shewasgoingtohimsoonandcertainly，goingtohisstrong，embracingarms。Shewasgoingthroughanewworldwithhimsidebyside。Shehadbeensobusywithlifethat，foravastgulfoftime，asitseemed，shehadgivennothoughttothoseancient，imaginedthingsofherchildhood。Now，abruptly，theywererealagain，thoughverydistant，andshehadcometosayfarewelltothemacrossonesunderingyear。

Shewasunusuallyhelpfulatbreakfast，andunselfishabouttheeggs:andthenshewentofftocatchthetrainbeforeherfather’s。Shedidthistopleasehim。Hehatedtravellingsecond-classwithher——indeed，heneverdid——buthealsodislikedtravellinginthesametrainwhenhisdaughterwasinaninferiorclass，becauseofthelookofthething。Sohelikedtogobyadifferenttrain。AndintheAvenueshehadanencounterwithRamage。

Itwasanoddlittleencounter，thatleftvagueanddubitableimpressionsinhermind。Shewasawareofhim——asilk-hatted，shiny-blackfigureontheoppositesideoftheAvenue；andthen，abruptlyandstartlingly，hecrossedtheroadandsalutedandspoketoher。

"IMUSTspeaktoyou，"hesaid。"Ican’tkeepawayfromyou。"

Shemadesomeinaneresponse。Shewasstruckbyachangeinhisappearance。Hiseyeslookedalittlebloodshottoher；hisfacehadlostsomethingofitsruddyfreshness。

Hebeganajerky，brokenconversationthatlasteduntiltheyreachedthestation，andleftherpuzzledatitsdriftandmeaning。Shequickenedherpace，andsodidhe，talkingatherslightlyavertedear。Shemadelumpishandinadequateinterruptionsratherthanreplies。Attimesheseemedtobeclaimingpityfromher；attimeshewasthreateningherwithhercheckandexposure；attimeshewasboastingofhisinflexiblewill，andhow，intheend，healwaysgotwhathewanted。Hesaidthathislifewasboringandstupidwithouther。Somethingorother——shedidnotcatchwhat——hewasdamnedifhecouldstand。

Hewasevidentlynervous，andveryanxioustobeimpressive；hisprojectingeyessoughttodominate。Thecrowningaspectoftheincident，forhermind，wasthediscoverythatheandherindiscretionwithhimnolongermatteredverymuch。Itsimportancehadvanishedwithherabandonmentofcompromise。Evenherdebttohimwasatrivialitynow。

Andofcourse！Shehadabrilliantidea。Itsurprisedhershehadn’tthoughtofitbefore！Shetriedtoexplainthatshewasgoingtopayhimfortypoundswithoutfailnextweek。Shesaidasmuchtohim。Sherepeatedthisbreathlessly。

"Iwasgladyoudidnotsenditbackagain，"hesaid。

Hetouchedalong-standingsore，andAnnVeronicafoundherselfvainlytryingtoexplain——theinexplicable。"It’sbecauseImeantosenditbackaltogether，"shesaid。

Heignoredherprotestsinordertopursuesomeimpressivelineofhisown。

"Hereweare，livinginthesamesuburb，"hebegan。"Wehavetobe——modern。"

Herheartleapedwithinherasshecaughtthatphrase。Thatknotalsowouldbecut。Modern，indeed！Shewasgoingtobeasprimordialaschippedflint。

Part2

Inthelateafternoon，asAnnVeronicawasgatheringflowersforthedinner-table，herfathercamestrollingacrossthelawntowardherwithanaffectationofgreatdeliberation。

"Iwanttospeaktoyouaboutalittlething，Vee，"saidMr。

Stanley。

AnnVeronica’stensenervesstarted，andshestoodstillwithhereyesuponhim，wonderingwhatitmightbethatimpended。

"YouweretalkingtothatfellowRamageto-day——intheAvenue。

Walkingtothestationwithhim。"

Sothatwasit！

"Hecameandtalkedtome。"

"Ye——e——es。"Mr。Stanleyconsidered。"Well，Idon’twantyoutotalktohim，"hesaid，veryfirmly。

AnnVeronicapausedbeforesheanswered。"Don’tyouthinkI

oughtto？"sheasked，verysubmissively。

"No。"Mr。Stanleycoughedandfacedtowardthehouse。"Heisnot——Idon’tlikehim。Ithinkitinadvisable——Idon’twantanintimacytospringupbetweenyouandamanofthattype。"

AnnVeronicareflected。"IHAVE——hadoneortwotalkswithhim，daddy。"

"Don’tlettherebeanymore。I——Infact，Idislikehimextremely。"

"Supposehecomesandtalkstome？"

"Agirlcanalwayskeepamanatadistanceifshecarestodoit。She——Shecansnubhim。"

AnnVeronicapickedacornflower。

"Iwouldn’tmakethisobjection，"Mr。Stanleywenton，"buttherearethings——therearestoriesaboutRamage。He’s——Helivesinaworldofpossibilitiesoutsideyourimagination。Histreatmentofhiswifeismostunsatisfactory。Mostunsatisfactory。Abadman，infact。Adissipated，loose-livingman。"

"I’lltrynottoseehimagain，"saidAnnVeronica。"Ididn’tknowyouobjectedtohim，daddy。"

"Strongly，"saidMr。Stanley，"verystrongly。"

Theconversationhung。AnnVeronicawonderedwhatherfatherwoulddoifsheweretotellhimthefullstoryofherrelationswithRamage。

"Amanlikethattaintsagirlbylookingather，byhismereconversation。"Headjustedhisglassesonhisnose。Therewasanotherlittlethinghehadtosay。"Onehastobesocarefulofone’sfriendsandacquaintances，"heremarked，bywayoftransition。"Theymouldoneinsensibly。"Hisvoiceassumedaneasydetachedtone。"Isuppose，Vee，youdon’tseemuchofthoseWidgettsnow？"

"IgoinandtalktoConstancesometimes。"

"Doyou？"

"Weweregreatfriendsatschool。"

"Nodoubt……Still——Idon’tknowwhetherIquitelike——Somethingramshackleaboutthosepeople，Vee。WhileIamtalkingaboutyourfriends，Ifeel——IthinkyououghttoknowhowIlookatit。"Hisvoiceconveyedstudiedmoderation。"Idon’tmind，ofcourse，yourseeinghersometimes，stilltherearedifferences——differencesinsocialatmospheres。Onegetsdrawnintothings。Beforeyouknowwhereyouareyoufindyourselfinacomplication。Idon’twanttoinfluenceyouunduly——But——They’reartisticpeople，Vee。That’sthefactaboutthem。We’redifferent。"

"Isupposeweare，"saidVee，rearrangingtheflowersinherhand。

"Friendshipsthatareallverywellbetweenschool-girlsdon’talwaysgoonintolaterlife。It’s——it’sasocialdifference。"

"IlikeConstanceverymuch。"

"Nodoubt。Still，onehastobereasonable。Asyouadmittedtome——onehastosquareone’sselfwiththeworld。Youdon’tknow。

Withpeopleofthatsortallsortsofthingsmayhappen。Wedon’twantthingstohappen。"

AnnVeronicamadenoanswer。

Avaguedesiretojustifyhimselfruffledherfather。"Imayseemunduly——anxious。Ican’tforgetaboutyoursister。It’sthathasalwaysmademe——SHE，youknow，wasdrawnintoaset——didn’tdiscriminatePrivatetheatricals。"

AnnVeronicaremainedanxioustohearmoreofhersister’sstoryfromherfather’spointofview，buthedidnotgoon。Evensomuchallusionasthistothatfamilyshadow，shefelt，wasanimmenserecognitionofherripeningyears。Sheglancedathim。

Hestoodalittleanxiousandfussy，botheredbytheresponsibilityofher，entirelycarelessofwhatherlifewasorwaslikelytobe，ignoringherthoughtsandfeelings，ignorantofeveryfactofimportanceinherlife，explainingeverythinghecouldnotunderstandinherasnonsenseandperversity，concernedonlywithaterrorofbothersandundesirablesituations。"Wedon’twantthingstohappen！"Neverhadheshownhisdaughtersoclearlythatthewomenkindhewaspersuadedhehadtoprotectandcontrolcouldpleasehiminoneway，andinonewayonly，andthatwasbydoingnothingexceptthepunctualdomesticdutiesandbeingnothingexceptrestfulappearances。HehadquiteenoughtoseetoandworryaboutintheCitywithouttheirdoingthings。HehadnouseforAnnVeronica；hehadneverhadauseforhersinceshehadbeentoooldtosituponhisknee。Nothingbuttheconstraintofsocialusagenowlinkedhimtoher。Andtheless"anything"happenedthebetter。Thelessshelived，infact，thebetter。TheserealizationsrushedintoAnnVeronica’smindandhardenedherheartagainsthim。Shespokeslowly。"ImaynotseetheWidgettsforsomelittletime，father，"shesaid。"I

don’tthinkIshall。"

"Somelittletiff？"

"No；butIdon’tthinkIshallseethem。"

Supposesheweretoadd，"Iamgoingaway！"

"I’mgladtohearyousayit，"saidMr。Stanley，andwassoevidentlypleasedthatAnnVeronica’sheartsmoteher。

"Iamverygladtohearyousayit，"herepeated，andrefrainedfromfurtherinquiry。"Ithinkwearegrowingsensible，"hesaid。"Ithinkyouaregettingtounderstandmebetter。"

Hehesitated，andwalkedawayfromhertowardthehouse。Hereyesfollowedhim。Thecurveofhisshoulders，theveryangleofhisfeet，expressedreliefatherapparentobedience。"Thankgoodness！"saidthatretreatingaspect，"that’ssaidandover。

Vee’sallright。There’snothinghappenedatall！"Shedidn’tmean，heconcluded，togivehimanymoretroubleever，andhewasfreetobeginafreshchromaticnovel——hehadjustfinishedtheBlueLagoon，whichhethoughtverybeautifulandtenderandabsolutelyirrelevanttoMorningsidePark——orworkinpeaceathismicrotomewithoutbotheringaboutherintheleast。

Theimmensedisillusionmentthatawaitedhim！Thedevastatingdisillusionment！Shehadavaguedesiretorunafterhim，tostatehercasetohim，towringsomeunderstandingfromhimofwhatlifewastoher。Shefeltacheatandasneaktohisunsuspectingretreatingback。

"Butwhatcanonedo？"askedAnnVeronica。

Part3

Shedressedcarefullyfordinnerinablackdressthatherfatherliked，andthatmadeherlookseriousandresponsible。Dinnerwasquiteuneventful。Herfatherreadadraftprospectuswarily，andherauntdroppedfragmentsofherprojectsformanagingwhilethecookhadaholiday。AfterdinnerAnnVeronicawentintothedrawing-roomwithMissStanley，andherfatherwentuptohisdenforhispipeandpensivepetrography。Laterintheeveningsheheardhimwhistling，poorman！

Shefeltveryrestlessandexcited。Sherefusedcoffee，thoughsheknewthatanyhowshewasdoomedtoasleeplessnight。Shetookuponeofherfather’snovelsandputitdownagain，fretteduptoherownroomforsomework，satonherbedandmeditatedupontheroomthatshewasnowreallyabandoningforever，andreturnedatlengthwithastockingtodarn。Herauntwasmakingherselfcuffsoutoflittleslipsofinsertionunderthenewlylitlamp。

AnnVeronicasatdownintheotherarm-chairanddarnedbadlyforaminuteorso。Thenshelookedatheraunt，andtracedwithacuriouseyethecarefularrangementofherhair，hersharpnose，thelittledroopinglinesofmouthandchinandcheek。

Herthoughtspokealoud。"Wereyoueverinlove，aunt？"sheasked。

Herauntglancedupstartled，andthensatverystill，withhandsthathadceasedtowork。"Whatmakesyouasksuchaquestion，Vee？"shesaid。

"Iwondered。"

Herauntansweredinalowvoice:"Iwasengagedtohim，dear，forsevenyears，andthenhedied。"

AnnVeronicamadeasympatheticlittlemurmur。

"Hewasinholyorders，andweweretohavebeenmarriedwhenhegotaliving。HewasaWiltshireEdmondshaw，averyoldfamily。"

Shesatverystill。

AnnVeronicahesitatedwithaquestionthathadleapedupinhermind，andthatshefeltwascruel。"Areyousorryyouwaited，aunt？"shesaid。

Herauntwasalongtimebeforesheanswered。"Hisstipendforbadeit，"shesaid，andseemedtofallintoatrainofthought。"Itwouldhavebeenrashandunwise，"shesaidattheendofameditation。"Whathehadwasaltogetherinsufficient。"

AnnVeronicalookedatthemildlypensivegrayeyesandthecomfortable，ratherrefinedfacewithapenetratingcuriosity。

Presentlyherauntsigheddeeplyandlookedattheclock。"TimeformyPatience，"shesaid。Shegotup，puttheneatcuffsshehadmadeintoherwork-basket，andwenttothebureauforthelittlecardsinthemoroccocase。AnnVeronicajumpeduptogetherthecard-table。"Ihaven’tseenthenewPatience，dear，"shesaid。"MayIsitbesideyou？"

"It’saverydifficultone，"saidheraunt。"Perhapsyouwillhelpmeshuffle？"

AnnVeronicadid，andalsoassistednimblywiththearrangementsoftherowsofeightwithwhichthestrugglebegan。Thenshesatwatchingtheplay，sometimesofferingahelpfulsuggestion，sometimeslettingherattentionwandertothesmoothlyshiningarmsshehadfoldedacrossherkneesjustbelowtheedgeofthetable。Shewasfeelingextraordinarilywellthatnight，sothatthesenseofherbodywasadeepdelight，arealizationofagentlewarmthandstrengthandelasticfirmness。Thensheglancedatthecardsagain，overwhichheraunt’smany-ringedhandplayed，andthenattheratherweak，ratherplumpfacethatsurveyeditsoperations。

ItcametoAnnVeronicathatlifewaswonderfulbeyondmeasure。

Itseemedincrediblethatsheandherauntwere，indeed，creaturesofthesameblood，onlybyabirthorsodifferentbeings，andpartofthatsamebroadinterlacingstreamofhumanlifethathasinventedthefaunsandnymphs，Astarte，Aphrodite，Freya，andallthetwiningbeautyofthegods。Thelove-songsofalltheagesweresinginginherblood，thescentofnightstockfromthegardenfilledtheair，andthemothsthatbeatupontheclosedframesofthewindownextthelampsetherminddreamingofkissesinthedusk。Yetheraunt，witharingedhandflittingtoherlipsandapuzzled，worriedlookinhereyes，deaftoallthisriotofwarmthandflittingdesire，wasplayingPatience——playingPatience，asifDionysiusandhercuratehaddiedtogether。Afaintbuzzabovetheceilingwitnessedthatpetrography，too，wasactive。Grayandtranquilworld！Amazing，passionlessworld！Aworldinwhichdayswithoutmeaning，daysinwhich"wedon’twantthingstohappen"followeddayswithoutmeaning——untilthelastthinghappened，theultimate，unavoidable，coarse，"disagreeable。"Itwasherlasteveninginthatwrapperedlifeagainstwhichshehadrebelled。Warmrealitywasnowsonearhershecouldhearitbeatinginherears。AwayinLondonevennowCapeswaspackingandpreparing；Capes，themagicmanwhosetouchturnedonetotremblingfire。Whatwashedoing？Whatwashethinking？Itwaslessthanadaynow，lessthantwentyhours。Seventeenhours，sixteenhours。Sheglancedatthesoft-tickingclockwiththeexposedbrasspendulumuponthewhitemarblemantel，andmadearapidcalculation。Tobeexact，itwasjustsixteenhoursandtwentyminutes。Theslowstarscircledontothemomentoftheirmeeting。Thesoftlyglitteringsummerstars！Shesawthemshiningovermountainsofsnow，overvalleysofhazeandwarmdarkness……Therewouldbenomoon。

"Ibelieveafterallit’scomingout！"saidMissStanley。"Theacesmadeiteasy。"

AnnVeronicastartedfromherreverie，satupinherchair，becameattentive。"Look，dear，"shesaidpresently，"youcanputthetenontheJack。"

CHAPTERTHESIXTEENTH

INTHEMOUNTAINS

Part1

NextdayAnnVeronicaandCapesfeltlikenewbornthings。Itseemedtothemtheycouldneverhavebeenreallyalivebefore，butonlydimlyanticipatingexistence。Theysatfacetofacebeneathanexperienced-lookingrucksackandabrandnewportmanteauandaleatherhandbag，intheafternoon-boattrainthatgoesfromCharingCrosstoFolkestoneforBoulogne。Theytriedtoreadillustratedpapersinanunconcernedmannerandwithforcedattention，lesttheyshouldcatchtheleapingexultationineachother’seyes。AndtheyadmiredKentsedulouslyfromthewindows。

TheycrossedtheChannelinsunshineandabreezethatjustruffledtheseatoglitteringscalesofsilver。Someofthepeoplewhowatchedthemstandingsidebysidethoughttheymustbenewlyweddedbecauseoftheirhappyfaces，andothersthattheywereanold-establishedcouplebecauseoftheireasyconfidenceineachother。

AtBoulognetheytooktraintoBasle；nextmorningtheybreakfastedtogetherinthebuffetofthatstation，andthencetheycaughttheInterlakenexpress，andsowentbywayofSpiestoFrutigen。TherewasnorailwaybeyondFrutigeninthosedays；theysenttheirbaggagebyposttoKandersteg，andwalkedalongthemulepathtotheleftofthestreamtothatqueerhollowamongtheprecipices，BlauSee，wherethepetrifyingbranchesoftreeslieinthebluedeepsofanicylake，andpine-treesclamberamonggiganticboulders。AlittleinnflyingaSwissflagnestlesunderagreatrock，andtheretheyputasidetheirknapsacksandlunchedandrestedinthemid-dayshadowofthegorgeandthescentofresin。AndlatertheypaddledinaboatabovethemysteriousdeepsoftheSee，andpeereddownintothegreen-bluesandtheblue-greenstogether。Bythattimeitseemedtothemtheyhadlivedtogethertwentyyears。

ExceptforonememorableschoolexcursiontoParis，AnnVeronicahadneveryetbeenoutsideEngland。Sothatitseemedtoherthewholeworldhadchanged——theverylightofithadchanged。

InsteadofEnglishvillasandcottagestherewerechaletsandItalian-builthousesshiningwhite；therewerelakesofemeraldandsapphireandclusteringcastles，andsuchsweepsofhillandmountain，suchshininguplandsofsnow，asshehadneverseenbefore。Everythingwasfreshandbright，fromthekindlymannersoftheFrutigencobbler，whohammeredmountainnailsintoherboots，totheunfamiliarwildflowersthatspangledthewayside。

AndCapeshadchangedintotheeasiestandjolliestcompanionintheworld。Themerefactthathewasthereinthetrainalongsideher，helpingher，sittingoppositetoherinthedining-car，presentlysleepingonaseatwithinayardofher，madeherheartsinguntilshewasafraidtheirfellowpassengerswouldhearit。Itwastoogoodtobetrue。Shewouldnotsleepforfearoflosingamomentofthatsenseofhisproximity。Towalkbesidehim，dressedakintohim，rucksackedandcompanionable，wasblissinitself；eachstepshetookwaslikesteppingoncemoreacrossthethresholdofheaven。

Onetrouble，however，shotitsslantingboltsathwarttheshiningwarmthofthatopeningdayandmarreditsperfection，andthatwasthethoughtofherfather。

Shehadtreatedhimbadly；shehadhurthimandheraunt；shehaddonewrongbytheirstandards，andshewouldneverpersuadethemthatshehaddoneright。Shethoughtofherfatherinthegarden，andofherauntwithherPatience，asshehadseenthem——howmanyageswasitago？Justonedayintervened。Shefeltasifshehadstruckthemunawares。Thethoughtofthemdistressedherwithoutsubtractingatallfromtheoceansofhappinessinwhichsheswam。Butshewishedshecouldputthethingshehaddoneinsomewaytothemsothatitwouldnothurtthemsomuchasthetruthwouldcertainlydo。Thethoughtoftheirfaces，andparticularlyofheraunt’s，asitwouldmeetthefact——

disconcerted，unfriendly，condemning，pained——occurredtoheragainandagain。

"Oh！Iwish，"shesaid，"thatpeoplethoughtalikeaboutthesethings。"

Capeswatchedthelimpidwaterdrippingfromhisoar。"Iwishtheydid，"hesaid，"buttheydon’t。"

"Ifeel——Allthisistherightestofallconceivablethings。I

wanttotelleveryone。Iwanttoboastmyself。"

"Iknow。"

"Itoldthemalie。Itoldthemlies。Iwrotethreelettersyesterdayandtorethemup。Itwassohopelesstoputittothem。Atlast——Itoldastory。"

"Youdidn’ttellthemourposition？"

"Iimpliedwehadmarried。"

"They’llfindout。They’llknow。"

"Notyet。"

"Soonerorlater。"

"Possibly——bitbybit……Butitwashopelesslyhardtoput。

IsaidIknewhedislikedanddistrustedyouandyourwork——thatyousharedallRussell’sopinions:hehatesRussellbeyondmeasure——andthatwecouldn’tpossiblyfaceaconventionalmarriage。Whatelsecouldonesay？Ilefthimtosuppose——aregistryperhaps……"

Capeslethisoarsmackonthewater。

"Doyoumindverymuch？"

Heshookhishead。

"Butitmakesmefeelinhuman，"headded。

"Andme……"

"It’stheperpetualtrouble，"hesaid，"ofparentandchild。

Theycan’thelpseeingthingsinthewaytheydo。Norcanwe。

WEdon’tthinkthey’reright，buttheydon’tthinkweare。A

deadlock。Inaverydefinitesenseweareinthewrong——hopelesslyinthewrong。But——It’sjustthis:whowastobehurt？"

"Iwishnoonehadtobehurt，"saidAnnVeronica。"Whenoneishappy——Idon’tliketothinkofthem。LasttimeIlefthomeI

feltashardasnails。Butthisisalldifferent。Itisdifferent。"

"There’sasortofinstinctofrebellion，"saidCapes。"Itisn’tanythingtodowithourtimesparticularly。Peoplethinkitis，buttheyarewrong。It’stodowithadolescence。LongbeforereligionandSocietyheardofDoubt，girlswereallformidnightcoachesandGretnaGreen。It’sasortofhome-leavinginstinct。"

Hefollowedupalineofthought。

"There’sanotherinstinct，too，"hewenton，"inastateofsuppression，unlessI’mverymuchmistaken；achild-expellinginstinct……Iwonder……There’snofamilyunitinginstinct，anyhow；it’shabitandsentimentandmaterialconvenienceholdfamiliestogetherafteradolescence。There’salwaysfriction，conflict，unwillingconcessions。Always！I

don’tbelievethereisanystrongnaturalaffectionatallbetweenparentsandgrowing-upchildren。Therewasn’t，Iknow，betweenmyselfandmyfather。Ididn’tallowmyselftoseethingsastheywereinthosedays；nowIdo。Iboredhim。I

hatedhim。Isupposethatshocksone’sideas……It’strue……Therearesentimentalandtraditionaldeferencesandreverences，Iknow，betweenfatherandson；butthat’sjustexactlywhatpreventsthedevelopmentofaneasyfriendship。

Father-worshippingsonsareabnormal——andthey’renogood。Nogoodatall。One’sgottobeabettermanthanone’sfather，orwhatisthegoodofsuccessivegenerations？Lifeisrebellion，ornothing。"

Herowedastrokeandwatchedtheswirlofwaterfromhisoarbroadenanddieaway。Atlasthetookuphisthoughtsagain:"I

wonderif，someday，onewon’tneedtorebelagainstcustomsandlaws？Ifthisdiscordwillhavegone？Someday，perhaps——whoknows？——theoldwon’tcoddleandhampertheyoung，andtheyoungwon’tneedtoflyinthefacesoftheold。They’llfacefactsasfacts，andunderstand。Oh，tofacefacts！Gods！whataworlditmightbeifpeoplefacedfacts！Understanding！Understanding！

Thereisnoothersalvation。Somedayolderpeople，perhaps，willtroubletounderstandyoungerpeople，andtherewon’tbethesefiercedisruptions；therewon’tbebarriersonemustdefyorperish……That’sreallyourchoicenow，defy——orfutility……Theworld，perhaps，willbeeducatedoutofitsideaoffixedstandards……Iwonder，AnnVeronica，if，whenourtimecomes，weshallbeanywiser？"

AnnVeronicawatchedawater-beetlefussingacrossthegreendepths。"Onecan’ttell。I’mafemalethingatbottom。Ilikehightoneforaflourishandstarsandideas；butIwantmythings。"

Part2

Capesthought。

"It’sodd——Ihavenodoubtinmymindthatwhatwearedoingiswrong，"hesaid。"AndyetIdoitwithoutcompunction。"

"Ineverfeltsoabsolutelyright，"saidAnnVeronica。

"YouAREafemalethingatbottom，"headmitted。"I’mnotnearlysosureasyou。Asforme，Ilooktwiceatit……Lifeistwothings，that’showIseeit；twothingsmixedandmuddleduptogether。Lifeismorality——lifeisadventure。Squireandmaster。Adventurerules，andmorality——looksupthetrainsintheBradshaw。Moralitytellsyouwhatisright，andadventuremovesyou。Ifmoralitymeansanythingitmeanskeepingbounds，respectingimplications，respectingimplicitbounds。Ifindividualitymeansanythingitmeansbreakingbounds——adventure。

Willyoubemoralandyourspecies，orimmoralandyourself？

We’vedecidedtobeimmoral。Weneedn’ttryandgiveourselvesairs。We’vedesertedthepostsinwhichwefoundourselves，cutourduties，exposedourselvestorisksthatmaydestroyanysortofsocialusefulnessinus……Idon’tknow。Onekeepsrulesinordertobeone’sself。OnestudiesNatureinordernottobeblindlyruledbyher。There’snosenseinmorality，Isuppose，unlessyouarefundamentallyimmoral。"

Shewatchedhisfaceashetracedhiswaythroughthesespeculativethickets。

"Lookatouraffair，"hewenton，lookingupather。"Nopoweronearthwillpersuademewe’renottworatherdisreputablepersons。

Youdesertyourhome；Ithrowupusefulteaching，riskeveryhopeinyourcareer。Hereweareabsconding，pretendingtobewhatwearenot；shady，tosaytheleastofit。It’snotabitofgoodpretendingthere’sanyHigherTruthorwonderfulprincipleinthisbusiness。Thereisn’t。Weneverstartedoutinanyhigh-browedmannertoscandalizeandShelleyfy。Whenfirstyouleftyourhomeyouhadnoideathat_I_wasthehiddenimpulse。

Iwasn’t。Youcameoutlikeanantforyournuptialflight。Itwasjustachancethatweinparticularhitagainsteachother——nothingpredestinedaboutit。Wejusthitagainsteachother，andhereweareflyingoffatatangent，alittlesurprisedatwhatwearedoing，allourprinciplesabandoned，andtremendouslyandquiteunreasonablyproudofourselves。Outofallthiswehavestruckasortofharmony……Andit’sgorgeous！"

"Glorious！"saidAnnVeronica。

"WouldYOUlikeus——ifsomeonetoldyouthebareoutlineofourstory？——andwhatwearedoing？"

"Ishouldn’tmind，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Butifsomeoneelseaskedyouradvice？Ifsomeoneelsesaid，’Hereismyteacher，ajadedmarriedmanonthevergeofmiddleage，andheandIhaveaviolentpassionforoneanother。Weproposetodisregardallourties，allourobligations，alltheestablishedprohibitionsofsociety，andbeginlifetogetherafresh。’Whatwouldyoutellher？"

"Ifsheaskedadvice，Ishouldsayshewasn’tfittodoanythingofthesort。Ishouldsaythathavingadoubtwasenoughtocondemnit。"

"Butwaivethatpoint。"

"Itwouldbedifferentallthesame。Itwouldn’tbeyou。"

"Itwouldn’tbeyoueither。Isupposethat’sthegistofthewholething。"Hestaredatalittleeddy。"Therule’sallright，solongasthereisn’tacase。Rulesareforestablishedthings，likethepiecesandpositionsofagame。Menandwomenarenotestablishedthings；they’reexperiments，allofthem。Everyhumanbeingisanewthing，existstodonewthings。Findthethingyouwanttodomostintensely，makesurethat’sit，anddoitwithallyourmight。Ifyoulive，wellandgood；ifyoudie，wellandgood。Yourpurposeisdone……Well，thisisOUR

thing。"

Hewoketheglassywatertoswirlingactivityagain，andmadethedeep-blueshapesbelowwritheandshiver。

"ThisisMYthing，"saidAnnVeronica，softly，withthoughtfuleyesuponhim。

Thenshelookedupthesweepofpine-treestothetoweringsunlitcliffsandthehighheavenaboveandthenbacktohisface。Shedrewinadeepbreathofthesweetmountainair。Hereyesweresoftandgrave，andtherewasthefaintestofsmilesuponherresolutelips。

Part3

Latertheyloiteredalongawindingpathabovetheinn，andmadelovetooneanother。Theirjourneyhadmadethemindolent，theafternoonwaswarm，anditseemedimpossibletobreatheasweeterair。Theflowersandturf，awildstrawberry，ararebutterfly，andsuchlikelittleintimatethingshadbecomemoreinterestingthanmountains。Theirflittinghandswerealwaystouching。Deepsilencescamebetweenthem……

"IhadthoughttogoontoKandersteg，"saidCapes，"butthisisapleasantplace。Thereisnotasoulintheinnbutourselves。

Letusstaythenighthere。Thenwecanloiterandgossiptoourheart’scontent。"

"Agreed，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Afterall，it’sourhoneymoon。"

"Allweshallget，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Thisplaceisverybeautiful。"

"Anyplacewouldbebeautiful，"saidAnnVeronica，inalowvoice。

Foratimetheywalkedinsilence。

"Iwonder，"shebegan，presently，"whyIloveyou——andloveyousomuch？……Iknownowwhatitistobeanabandonedfemale。

IAManabandonedfemale。I’mnotashamed——ofthethingsI’mdoing。Iwanttoputmyselfintoyourhands。Youknow——IwishI

couldrollmylittlebodyupsmallandsqueezeitintoyourhandandgripyourfingersuponit。Tight。IwantyoutoholdmeandhavemeSO……Everything。Everything。It’sapurejoyofgiving——givingtoYOU。Ihaveneverspokenofthesethingstoanyhumanbeing。Justdreamed——andranawayevenfrommydreams。Itisasifmylipshadbeensealedaboutthem。AndnowIbreaktheseals——foryou。OnlyIwish——Iwishto-dayIwasathousandtimes，tenthousandtimesmorebeautiful。"

Capesliftedherhandandkissedit。

"Youareathousandtimesmorebeautiful，"hesaid，"thananythingelsecouldbe……Youareyou。Youareallthebeautyintheworld。Beautydoesn’tmean，neverhasmeant，anything——anythingatallbutyou。Itheraldedyou，promisedyou……"

Part4

Theylaysidebysideinashallownestofturfandmossesamongbowldersandstuntedbushesonahighrock，andwatchedthedayskydeepentoeveningbetweenthevastprecipicesoverheadandlookedoverthetree-topsdownthewideninggorge。Adistantsuggestionofchaletsandaglimpseoftheroadsetthemtalkingforatimeoftheworldtheyhadleftbehind。

Capesspokecasuallyoftheirplansforwork。"It’saflabby，loose-willedworldwehavetoface。Itwon’tevenknowwhethertobescandalizedatusorforgiving。Itwillholdaloof，alittleundecidedwhethertopeltornot——"

"Thatdependswhetherwecarryourselvesasthoughweexpectedpelting，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Wewon’t。"

"Nofear！"

"Then，aswesucceed，itwillbegintosidlebacktous。Itwilldoitsbesttooverlookthings——"

"Ifweletit，poordear。"

"That’sifwesucceed。Ifwefail，"saidCapes，"then——"

"Wearen’tgoingtofail，"saidAnnVeronica。

LifeseemedaverybraveandgloriousenterprisetoAnnVeronicathatday。ShewasquiveringwiththesenseofCapesathersideandglowingwithheroiclove；itseemedtoherthatiftheyputtheirhandsjointlyagainsttheAlpsandpushedtheywouldbeabletopushthemaside。Shelayandnibbledatasprigofdwarfrhododendron。

"FAIL！"shesaid。

Part5

PresentlyitoccurredtoAnnVeronicatoaskaboutthejourneyhehadplanned。HehadhissectionsoftheSiegfriedmapfoldedinhispocket，andhesquattedupwithhislegscrossedlikeanIndianidolwhileshelaypronebesidehimandfollowedeverymovementofhisindicatoryfinger。

"Here，"hesaid，"isthisBlauSee，andherewerestuntilto-morrow。Ithinkweresthereuntilto-morrow？"

Therewasabriefsilence。

"Itisaverypleasantplace，"saidAnnVeronica，bitingarhododendronstalkthrough，andwiththatfaintshadowofasmilereturningtoherlips……

"Andthen？"saidAnnVeronica。

"Thenwegoontothisplace，theOeschinensee。It’salakeamongprecipices，andthereisalittleinnwherewecanstay，andsitandeatourdinneratapleasanttablethatlooksuponthelake。Forsomedaysweshallbeveryidlethereamongthetreesandrocks。Thereareboatsonthelakeandshadydepthsandwildernessesofpine-wood。Afteradayorso，perhaps，wewillgoononeortwolittleexcursionsandseehowgoodyourheadis——amildscrambleorso；andthenuptoahutonapassjusthere，andoutupontheBlumlis-alpglacierthatspreadsoutsoandso。"

Sherousedherselffromsomedreamattheword。"Glaciers？"shesaid。

"UndertheWildeFrau——whichwasnamedafteryou。"

Hebentandkissedherhairandpaused，andthenforcedhisattentionbacktothemap。"Oneday，"heresumed，"wewillstartoffearlyandcomedownintoKanderstegandupthesezigzagsandhereandhere，andsopastthisDaubenseetoatinyinn——itwon’tbebusyyet，though；wemaygetitalltoourselves——onthebrimofthesteepestzigzagyoucanimagine，thousandsoffeetofzigzag；andyouwillsitandeatlunchwithmeandlookoutacrosstheRhoneValleyandoverbluedistancesbeyondbluedistancestotheMatterhornandMonteRosaandalongregimentofsunny，snowymountains。Andwhenweseethemweshallatoncewanttogotothem——that’sthewaywithbeautifulthings——anddownweshallgo，likefliesdownawall，toLeukerbad，andsotoLeukStation，here，andthenbytrainuptheRhoneValleyandthislittlesidevalleytoStalden；andthere，inthecooloftheafternoon，weshallstartoffupagorge，torrentsandcliffsbelowusandaboveus，tosleepinahalf-wayinn，andgoonnextdaytoSaasFee，SaasoftheMagic，SaasofthePaganPeople。

Andthere，aboutSaas，areiceandsnowsagain，andsometimeswewillloiteramongtherocksandtreesaboutSaasorpeepintoSamuelButler’schapels，andsometimeswewillclimbupoutofthewayoftheotherpeopleontotheglaciersandsnow。And，foroneexpeditionatleast，wewillgoupthisdesolatevalleyheretoMattmark，andsoontoMonteMoro。ThereindeedyouseeMonteRosa。Almostthebestofall。"

"Isitverybeautiful？"

"WhenIsawitthereitwasverybeautiful。Itwaswonderful。

Itwasthecrownedqueenofmountainsinherrobesofshiningwhite。Ittowereduphighabovethelevelofthepass，thousandsoffeet，still，shining，andwhite，andbelow，thousandsoffeetbelow，wasaflooroflittlewoollyclouds。Andthenpresentlythesecloudsbegantowearthinandexposesteep，deepslopes，goingdownanddown，withgrassandpine-trees，downanddown，andatlast，throughagreatrentintheclouds，bareroofs，shininglikeveryminutepin-heads，andaroadlikeafibreofwhitesilk-Macugnana，inItaly。Thatwillbeafineday——itwillhavetobe，whenfirstyouseteyesonItaly……That’sasfaraswego。"

"Can’twegodownintoItaly？"

"No，"hesaid；"itwon’truntothatnow。WemustwaveourhandsatthebluehillsfarawaythereandgobacktoLondonandwork。"

"ButItaly——"

"Italy’sforagoodgirl，"hesaid，andlaidhishandforamomentonhershoulder。"ShemustlookforwardtoItaly。"

"Isay，"shereflected，"youAREratherthemaster，youknow。"

Theideastruckhimasnovel。"OfcourseI’mmanagerforthisexpedition，"hesaid，afteranintervalofself-examination。

Sheslidhercheekdownthetweedsleeveofhiscoat。"Nicesleeve，"shesaid，andcametohishandandkissedit。

"Isay！"hecried。"Lookhere！Aren’tyougoingalittletoofar？This——thisisdegradation——makingafusswithsleeves。Youmustn’tdothingslikethat。"

"Whynot？"

"Freewoman——andequal。"

"Idoit——ofmyownfreewill，"saidAnnVeronica，kissinghishandagain。"It’snothingtowhatIWILLdo。"

"Oh，well！"hesaid，alittledoubtfully，"it’sjustaphase，"

andbentdownandrestedhishandonhershoulderforamoment，withhisheartbeatingandhisnervesa-quiver。Thenasshelayverystill，withherhandsclinchedandherblackhairtumbledaboutherface，hecamestillcloserandsoftlykissedthenapeofherneck……

Part6

Mostofthethingsthathehadplannedtheydid。ButtheyclimbedmorethanhehadintendedbecauseAnnVeronicaprovedratheragoodclimber，steady-headedandplucky，ratherdaring，butquitewillingtobecautiousathiscommand。

Oneofthethingsthatmostsurprisedhiminherwashercapacityforblindobedience。Shelovedtobetoldtodothings。

HeknewthecircleofmountainsaboutSaasFeefairlywell:hehadbeentheretwicebefore，anditwasfinetogetawayfromthestragglingpedestriansintothehigh，lonelyplaces，andsitandmunchsandwichesandtalktogetheranddothingstogetherthatwerejustalittledifficultanddangerous。Andtheycouldtalk，theyfound；andneveronce，itseemed，didtheirmeaningandintentionhitch。Theywereenormouslypleasedwithoneanother；

theyfoundeachotherbeyondmeasurebetterthantheyhadexpected，ifonlybecauseofthewantofsubstanceinmereexpectation。Theirconversationdegeneratedagainandagainintoastrainofself-congratulationthatwouldhaveirkedaneavesdropper。

"You’re——Idon’tknow，"saidAnnVeronica。"You’resplendid。"

"Itisn’tthatyou’resplendidorI，"saidCapes。"Butwesatisfyoneanother。Heavenaloneknowswhy。Socompletely！Theoddestfitness！Whatisitmadeof？Textureofskinandtextureofmind？Complexionandvoice。Idon’tthinkI’vegotillusions，noryou……IfIhadnevermetanythingofyouatallbutascrapofyourskinbindingabook，AnnVeronica，IknowIwouldhavekeptthatsomewhereneartome……Allyourfaultsarejustjollymodellingtomakeyourealandsolid。"

"Thefaultsarethebestpartofit，"saidAnnVeronica；"why，evenourlittleviciousstrainsrunthesameway。Evenourcoarseness。"

"Coarse？"saidCapes，"We’renotcoarse。"

"Butifwewere？"saidAnnVeronica。

"Icantalktoyouandyoutomewithoutascrapofeffort，"saidCapes；"that’stheessenceofit。It’smadeupofthingsassmallasthediameterofhairsandbigaslifeanddeath……

Onealwaysdreamedofthisandneverbelievedit。It’stherarestluck，thewildest，mostimpossibleaccident。Mostpeople，everyoneIknowelse，seemtohavematedwithforeignersandtotalkuneasilyinunfamiliartongues，tobeafraidoftheknowledgetheotheronehas，oftheotherone’sperpetualmisjudgmentandmisunderstandings。

"Whydon’ttheywait？"headded。

AnnVeronicahadoneofherflashesofinsight。

"Onedoesn’twait，"saidAnnVeronica。

Sheexpandedthat。"_I_shouldn’thavewaited，"shesaid。"I

mighthavemuddledforatime。Butit’sasyousay。I’vehadtherarestluckandfallenonmyfeet。"

"We’vebothfallenonourfeet！We’retherarestofmortals！

Therealthing！There’snotacompromisenorashamnoraconcessionbetweenus。Wearen’tafraid；wedon’tbother。Wedon’tconsidereachother；weneedn’t。Thatwrapperedlife，asyoucallit——we’veburnedtheconfoundedrags！Dancedoutofit！

We’restark！"

"Stark！"echoedAnnVeronica。

Part7

Astheycamebackfromthatday’sclimb——itwasuptheMittaghorn——theyhadtocrossashiningspaceofwet，steeprocksbetweentwograssslopesthatneededalittlecare。Therewereafewloose，brokenfragmentsofrocktoreckonwithupontheledges，andoneplacewherehandsdidasmuchworkastoes。

Theyusedtherope——notthataropewasatallnecessary，butbecauseAnnVeronica’sexaltedstateofmindmadethefactoftheropeagreeablysymbolical；and，anyhow，itdidinsureajointdeathintheeventofsomeremotelypossiblymischance。Capeswentfirst，findingfootholdsand，wherethedropsinthestrata-edgescamelikelong，awkwardsteps，placingAnnVeronica’sfeet。Abouthalf-wayacrossthisinterval，wheneverythingseemedgoingwell，Capeshadashock。

"Heavens！"exclaimedAnnVeronica，withextraordinarypassion。

"MyGod！"andceasedtomove。

Capesbecamerigidandadhesive。Nothingensued。"Allright？"heasked。

"I’llhavetopayit。"

"Eh？"

"I’veforgottensomething。Oh，cussit！"

"Eh？"

"HesaidIwould。"

"What？"

"That’sthedevilofit！"

"Devilofwhat？……YouDOusevilelanguage！"

"Forgetaboutitlikethis。"

"ForgetWHAT？"

"AndIsaidIwouldn’t。IsaidI’ddoanything。IsaidI’dmakeshirts。"

"Shirts？"

"Shirtsatone——and——somethingadozen。Oh，goodness！Bilking！

AnnVeronica，you’reabilker！"

Pause。

"Willyoutellmewhatallthisisabout？"saidCapes。

"It’saboutfortypounds。"

Capeswaitedpatiently。

"G。I’msorry……Butyou’vegottolendmefortypounds。"

"It’ssomesortofdelirium，"saidCapes。"Therarefiedair？I

thoughtyouhadabetterhead。"

"No！I’llexplainlower。It’sallright。Let’sgoonclimbingnow。It’sathingI’veunaccountablyoverlooked。Allrightreally。Itcanwaitabitlonger。IborrowedfortypoundsfromMr。Ramage。Thankgoodnessyou’llunderstand。That’swhyI

chuckedManning……Allright，I’mcoming。Butallthisbusinesshasdrivenitcleanoutofmyhead……That’swhyhewassoannoyed，youknow。"

"Whowasannoyed？"

"Mr。Ramage——aboutthefortypounds。"Shetookastep。"Mydear，"sheadded，bywayofafterthought，"youDOobliteratethings！"

Part8

TheyfoundthemselvesnextdaytalkinglovetooneanotherhighuponsomerocksaboveasteepbankofsnowthatoverhungaprecipiceontheeasternsideoftheFeeglacier。BythistimeCapes’hairhadbleachednearlywhite，andhisskinhadbecomeaskinofredcoppershotwithgold。Theywerenowbothinastateofunprecedentedphysicalfitness。AndsuchskirtsasAnnVeronicahadhadwhensheenteredthevalleyofSaasweresafelypackedawayinthehotel，andsheworealeatherbeltandlooseknickerbockersandputtees——acostumethatsuitedthefine，longlinesofherlimbsfarbetterthananyfemininewalking-dresscoulddo。Hercomplexionhadresistedthesnow-glarewonderfully；herskinhadonlydeepeneditsnaturalwarmthalittleundertheAlpinesun。Shehadpushedasideherazureveil，takenoffhersnow-glasses，andsatsmilingunderherhandattheshiningglories——thelitcornices，theblueshadows，thesoftlyrounded，enormoussnowmasses，thedeepplacesfullofquiveringluminosity——oftheTaschhornandDom。Theskywascloudless，effulgentblue。

Capessatwatchingandadmiringher，andthenhefellpraisingthedayandfortuneandtheirloveforeachother。

"Hereweare，"hesaid，"shiningthrougheachotherlikelightthroughastained-glasswindow。Withthisairinourblood，thissunlightsoakingus……Lifeissogood。Caniteverbesogoodagain？"

AnnVeronicaputoutafirmhandandsqueezedhisarm。"It’sverygood，"shesaid。"It’sgloriousgood！"

"Supposenow——lookatthislongsnow-slopeandthenthatbluedeepbeyond——doyouseethatroundpoolofcolorintheice——athousandfeetormorebelow？Yes？Well，think——we’vegottogobuttenstepsandliedownandputourarmsabouteachother。

See？Downweshouldrushinafoam——inacloudofsnow——toflightandadream。Alltherestofourliveswouldbetogetherthen，AnnVeronica。Everymoment。Andnoill-chances。"

"Ifyoutemptmetoomuch，"shesaid，afterasilence，"Ishalldoit。Ineedonlyjustjumpupandthrowmyselfuponyou。I’madesperateyoungwoman。Andthenaswewentdownyou’dtrytoexplain。Andthatwouldspoilit……Youknowyoudon’tmeanit。"

"No，Idon’t。ButIlikedtosayit。"

"Rather！ButIwonderwhyyoudon’tmeanit？"

"Because，Isuppose，theotherthingisbetter。Whatotherreasoncouldtherebe？It’smorecomplex，butit’sbetter。

THIS，thisglissade，wouldbedamnedscoundrelism。Youknowthat，andIknowthat，thoughwemightbeputtoittofindareasonwhy。Itwouldbeswindling。Drawingthepayoflifeandthennotliving。Andbesides——We’regoingtolive，AnnVeronica！Oh，thethingswe’lldo，thelifewe’lllead！There’llbetroubleinitattimes——youandIaren’tgoingtorunwithoutfriction。Butwe’vegotthebrainstogetoverthat，andtonguesinourheadstotalktoeachother。Wesha’n’thanguponanymisunderstanding。Notus。Andwe’regoingtofightthatoldworlddownthere。Thatoldworldthathadshovedupthatsillyoldhotel，andalltherestofit……Ifwedon’tliveitwillthinkweareafraidofit……Die，indeed！We’regoingtodowork；we’regoingtounfoldabouteachother；we’regoingtohavechildren。"

"Girls！"criedAnnVeronica。

"Boys！"saidCapes。

"Both！"saidAnnVeronica。"Lotsof’em！"

Capeschuckled。"Youdelicatefemale！"

"Whocares，"saidAnnVeronica，"seeingit’syou？Warm，softlittlewonders！OfcourseIwantthem。"

Part9

"Allsortsofthingswe’regoingtodo，"saidCapes；"allsortsoftimeswe’regoingtohave。Soonerorlaterwe’llcertainlydosomethingtocleanthoseprisonsyoutoldmeabout——limewashtheundersideoflife。YouandI。Wecanloveonasnowcornice，wecanloveoverapailofwhitewash。Loveanywhere。Anywhere！

Moonlightandmusic——pleasing，youknow，butquiteunnecessary。

Wemetdissectingdogfish……Doyourememberyourfirstdaywithme？……Doyouindeedremember？Thesmellofdecayandcheapmethylatedspirit！……Mydear！we’vehadsomanymoments！Iusedtogooverthetimeswe’dhadtogether，thethingswe’dsaid——likearosaryofbeads。Butnowit’sbeadsbythecask——liketheholdofaWestAfricantrader。Itfeelsliketoomuchgold-dustclutchedinone’shand。Onedoesn’twanttoloseagrain。Andonemust——someofitmustslipthroughone’sfingers。"

"Idon’tcareifitdoes，"saidAnnVeronica。"Idon’tcarearapforremembering。Icareforyou。Thismomentcouldn’tbebetteruntilthenextmomentcomes。That’showittakesme。WhyshouldWEhoard？Wearen’tgoingoutpresently，likeJapaneselanternsinagale。It’sthepoordearswhodo，whoknowtheywill，knowtheycan’tkeepitup，whoneedtoclutchatway-sideflowers。Andput’eminlittlebooksforremembrance。Flattenedflowersaren’tforthelikesofus。Moments，indeed！Welikeeachotherfreshandfresh。Itisn’tillusions——forus。Wetwojustloveeachother——thereal，identicalother——allthetime。"

"Thereal，identicalother，"saidCapes，andtookandbitthetipofherlittlefinger。

"There’snodelusions，sofarasIknow，"saidAnnVeronica。

"Idon’tbelievethereisone。Ifthereis，it’samerewrapping——there’sbetterunderneath。It’sonlyasifI’dbeguntoknowyouthedaybeforeyesterdayorthere-abouts。Youkeeponcomingtruer，afteryouhaveseemedtocomealtogethertrue。

You……brick！"

Part10

"Tothink，"hecried，"youaretenyearsyoungerthanI！……

Therearetimeswhenyoumakemefeelalittlethingatyourfeet——ayoung，silly，protectedthing。Doyouknow，AnnVeronica，itisallalieaboutyourbirthcertificate；aforgery——andfoolingatthat。YouareoneoftheImmortals。Immortal！Youwereinthebeginning，andallthemenintheworldwhohaveknownwhatloveishaveworshippedatyourfeet。Youhaveconvertedmeto——LesterWard！Youaremydearfriend，youareaslipofagirl，buttherearemomentswhenmyheadhasbeenonyourbreast，whenyourhearthasbeenbeatingclosetomyears，whenIhaveknownyouforthegoddess，whenIhavewishedmyselfyourslave，whenIhavewishedthatyoucouldkillmeforthejoyofbeingkilledbyyou。YouaretheHighPriestessofLife……"

"Yourpriestess，"whisperedAnnVeronica，softly。"Asillylittlepriestesswhoknewnothingoflifeatalluntilshecametoyou。"

Part11

Theysatforatimewithoutspeakingaword，inanenormousshiningglobeofmutualsatisfaction。

"Well，"saidCapes，atlength，"we’vetogodown，AnnVeronica。

Lifewaitsforus。"

Hestoodupandwaitedforhertomove。

"Gods！"criedAnnVeronica，andkepthimstanding。"Andtothinkthatit’snotafullyearagosinceIwasablack-heartedrebelschool-girl，distressed，puzzled，perplexed，notunderstandingthatthisgreatforceoflovewasburstingitswaythroughme！

Allthosenamelessdiscontents——theywerenomorethanlove’sbirth-pangs。Ifelt——Ifeltlivinginamaskedworld。IfeltasthoughIhadbandagedeyes。Ifelt——wrappedinthickcobwebs。

Theyblindedme。Theygotinmymouth。Andnow——Dear！Dear！

Thedayspringfromonhighhathvisitedme。Ilove。Iamloved。

Iwanttoshout！Iwanttosing！Iamglad！Iamgladtobealivebecauseyouarealive！Iamgladtobeawomanbecauseyouareaman！Iamglad！Iamglad！Iamglad！IthankGodforlifeandyou。IthankGodforHissunlightonyourface。I

thankGodforthebeautyyouloveandthefaultsyoulove。I

thankGodfortheveryskinthatispeelingfromyournose，forallthingsgreatandsmallthatmakeuswhatweare。ThisisgraceIamsaying！Oh！mydear！allthejoyandweepingoflifearemixedinmenowandallthegratitude。Neveranew-borndragon-flythatspreaditswingsinthemorninghasfeltasgladasI！"

CHAPTERTHESEVENTEENTH

INPERSPECTIVE

Part1

Aboutfouryearsandaquarterlater——tobeexact，itwasfouryearsandfourmonths——Mr。andMrs。CapesstoodsidebysideuponanoldPersiancarpetthatdiddutyasahearthruginthedining-roomoftheirflatandsurveyedashiningdinner-tablesetforfourpeople，litbyskilfully-shadedelectriclights，brightenedbyfrequentgleamsofsilver，andcarefullyandsimplyadornedwithsweet-peablossom。Capeshadalteredscarcelyatallduringtheinterval，exceptforanewqualityofsmartnessinthecutofhisclothes，butAnnVeronicawasnearlyhalfaninchtaller；herfacewasatoncestrongerandsofter，herneckfirmerandrounder，andhercarriagedefinitelymorewomanlythanithadbeeninthedaysofherrebellion。Shewasawomannowtothetipsofherfingers；shehadsaidgood-byetohergirlhoodintheoldgardenfouryearsandaquarterago。Shewasdressedinasimpleeveninggownofsoftcreamysilk，withayokeofdarkoldembroiderythatenhancedthegentlegravityofherstyle，andherblackhairflowedoffheropenforeheadtopassunderthecontrolofasimpleribbonofsilver。Asilvernecklaceenhancedtheduskybeautyofherneck。Bothhusbandandwifeaffectedanunnaturaleaseofmannerforthebenefitoftheefficientparlor-maid，whowasputtingthefinishingtouchestothesideboardarrangements。

"Itlooksallright，"saidCapes。

"Ithinkeverything’sright，"saidAnnVeronica，withtheroamingeyeofacapablebutnotdevotedhouse-mistress。

"Iwonderiftheywillseemaltered，"sheremarkedforthethirdtime。

"ThereIcan’thelp，"saidCapes。

Hewalkedthroughawideopenarchway，curtainedwithdeep-bluecurtains，intotheapartmentthatservedasareception-room。

AnnVeronica，afteralastsurveyofthedinnerappointments，followedhim，rustling，cametohissidebythehighbrassfender，andtouchedtwoorthreeornamentsonthemantelabovethecheerfulfireplace。

"It’sstillamarveltomethatwearetobeforgiven，"shesaid，turning。

"Mycharmofmanner，Isuppose。But，indeed，he’sveryhuman。"

"Didyoutellhimoftheregistryoffice？"

"No——o——certainlynotsoemphaticallyasIdidabouttheplay。"

"Itwasaninspiration——yourspeakingtohim？"

"Ifeltimpudent。IbelieveIamgettingimpudent。IhadnotbeenneartheRoyalSocietysince——sinceyoudisgracedme。

What’sthat？"

Theybothstoodlistening。Itwasnotthearrivaloftheguests，butmerelythemaidmovingaboutinthehall。

"Wonderfulman！"saidAnnVeronica，reassured，andstrokinghischeekwithherfinger。

Capesmadeaquickmovementasiftobitethataggressivedigit，butitwithdrewtoAnnVeronica’sside。

"Iwasreallyinterestedinhisstuff。IWAStalkingtohimbeforeIsawhisnameonthecardbesidetherowofmicroscopes。

Then，naturally，Iwentontalking。He——hehasratherapooropinionofhiscontemporaries。Ofcourse，hehadnoideawhoI

was。"

"Buthowdidyoutellhim？You’venevertoldme。Wasn’tit——alittlebitofascene？"

"Oh！letmesee。IsaidIhadn’tbeenattheRoyalSocietysoireeforfouryears，andgothimtotellmeaboutsomeofthefreshMendelianwork。HelovestheMendeliansbecausehehatesallthebignamesoftheeightiesandnineties。ThenIthinkI

remarkedthatsciencewasdisgracefullyunder-endowed，andconfessedI’dhadtotaketomoreprofitablecourses。’Thefactofitis，’Isaid，’I’mthenewplaywright，ThomasMore。Perhapsyou’veheard——？’Well，youknow，hehad。"

"Fame！"

"Isn’tit？’I’venotseenyourplay，Mr。More，’hesaid，’butI’mtoldit’sthemostamusingthinginLondonatthepresenttime。Afriendofmine，Ogilvy’——Isupposethat’sOgilvy&

Ogilvy，whodosomanydivorces，Vee？——’wasspeakingveryhighlyofit——veryhighly！’"Hesmiledintohereyes。

"Youaredevelopingfartooretentiveamemoryforpraises，"saidAnnVeronica。

"I’mstillnewtothem。Butafterthatitwaseasy。Itoldhiminstantlyandshamelesslythattheplaywasgoingtobeworthtenthousandpounds。Heagreeditwasdisgraceful。ThenIassumedaratherportentousmannertopreparehim。"

"How？Showme。"

"Ican’tbeportentous，dear，whenyou’reabout。It’smyothersideofthemoon。ButIwasportentous，Icanassureyou。’Myname’sNOTMore，Mr。Stanley，’Isaid。’That’smypetname。’"

"Yes？"

"Ithink——yes，Iwentoninapleasingblendofthecasualandsottovoce，’Thefactofitis，sir，Ihappentobeyourson-in-law，Capes。Idowishyoucouldcomeanddinewithussomeevening。Itwouldmakemywifeveryhappy。’"

"Whatdidhesay？"

"Whatdoesanyonesaytoaninvitationtodinnerpoint-blank？

Onetriestocollectone’swits。’Sheisconstantlythinkingofyou，’Isaid。"

"Andheacceptedmeekly？"

"Practically。Whatelsecouldhedo？Youcan’tkickupasceneonthespurofthemomentinthefaceofsuchconflictingvaluesashehadbeforehim。Withmebehavingasifeverythingwasinfinitelymatter-of-fact，whatcouldhedo？AndjustthenHeavensentoldManningtree——Ididn’ttellyoubeforeofthefortunateinterventionofManningtree，didI？Hewaslookingquiteinfernallydistinguished，withawidecrimsonribbonacrosshim——whatISawidecrimsonribbon？Somesortofknight，I

suppose。Heisaknight。’Well，youngman，’hesaid，’wehaven’tseenyoulately，’andsomethingabout’Bateson&

Co。’——he’sfrightfullyanti-Mendelian——havingitalltheirownway。SoIintroducedhimtomyfather-in-lawlikeashot。I

thinkthatWASdecision。Yes，itwasManningtreereallysecuredyourfather。He——"

"Heretheyare！"saidAnnVeronicaasthebellsounded。

Part2

Theyreceivedtheguestsintheirprettylittlehallwithgenuineeffusion。MissStanleythrewasideablackcloaktorevealadiscreetanddignifiedarrangementofbrownsilk，andthenembracedAnnVeronicawithwarmth。"Soveryclearandcold，"shesaid。"Ifearedwemighthaveafog。"Thehousemaid’spresenceactedasausefulrestraint。AnnVeronicapassedfromheraunttoherfather，andputherarmsabouthimandkissedhischeek。

"Dearolddaddy！"shesaid，andwasamazedtofindherselfsheddingtears。Sheveiledheremotionbytakingoffhisovercoat。"AndthisisMr。Capes？"sheheardherauntsaying。

Allfourpeoplemovedalittlenervouslyintothedrawing-room，maintainingasortofflutteredamiabilityofsoundandmovement。

Mr。Stanleyprofessedagreatsolicitudetowarmhishands。

"Quiteunusuallycoldforthetimeofyear，"hesaid。

"Everythingverynice，Iamsure，"MissStanleymurmuredtoCapesashesteeredhertoaplaceuponthelittlesofabeforethefire。Alsoshemadelittlepussy-likesoundsofareassuringnature。

"Andlet’shavealookatyou，Vee！"saidMr。Stanley，standingupwithasuddengenialityandrubbinghishandstogether。

AnnVeronica，whoknewherdressbecameher，droppedacurtsytoherfather’sregard。

Happilytheyhadnooneelsetowaitfor，anditheartenedhermightilytothinkthatshehadorderedthepromptestpossibleserviceofthedinner。CapesstoodbesideMissStanley，whowasbeamingunnaturally，andMr。Stanley，inhisefforttoseematease，tookentirepossessionofthehearthrug。

"Youfoundtheflateasily？"saidCapesinthepause。"Thenumbersarealittledifficulttoseeinthearchway。Theyoughttoputalamp。"

Herfatherdeclaredtherehadbeennodifficulty。

"Dinnerisserved，m’m，"saidtheefficientparlor-maidinthearchway，andtheworstwasover。

"Come，daddy，"saidAnnVeronica，followingherhusbandandMissStanley；andinthefulnessofherheartshegaveafriendlysqueezetotheparentalarm。

"Excellentfellow！"heansweredalittleirrelevantly。"Ididn’tunderstand，Vee。"

"Quitecharmingapartments，"MissStanleyadmired；"charming！

Everythingissoprettyandconvenient。"

Thedinnerwasadmirableasadinner；nothingwentwrong，fromthegoldenandexcellentclearsouptothedelightfulicedmarronsandcream；andMissStanley’spraisesdiedawaytoanappreciativeacquiescence。AbrisktalksprangupbetweenCapesandMr。Stanley，towhichthetwoladiessubordinatedthemselvesintelligently。TheburningtopicoftheMendeliancontroversywasapproachedononeortwooccasions，butavoideddexterously；

andtheytalkedchieflyoflettersandartandthecensorshipoftheEnglishstage。Mr。Stanleywasinclinedtothinkthecensorshipshouldbeextendedtothesupplyofwhathestyledlatter-dayfiction；goodwholesomestorieswerebeingousted，hesaid，by"vicious，corruptingstuff"that"leftabadtasteinthemouth。"Hedeclaredthatnobookcouldbesatisfactorythatleftabadtasteinthemouth，howevermuchitseizedandinterestedthereaderatthetime。Hedidnotlikeit，hesaid，withasignificantlook，toberemindedofeitherhisbooksorhisdinnersafterhehaddonewiththem。Capesagreedwiththeutmostcordiality。

"Lifeisupsettingenough，withoutthenovelstakingashare，"

saidMr。Stanley。

ForatimeAnnVeronica’sattentionwasdivertedbyheraunt’sinterestinthesaltedalmonds。

"Quiteparticularlynice，"saidheraunt。"Exceptionallyso。"

WhenAnnVeronicacouldattendagainshefoundthemenwerediscussingtheethicsofthedepreciationofhousepropertythroughtheincreasingtumultoftrafficintheWestEnd，andagreeingwitheachothertoadevastatingextent。Itcameintoherheadwithrealemotionalforcethatthismustbesomeparticularlyfantasticsortofdream。Itseemedtoherthatherfatherwasinsomeinexplicablewaymeaner-lookingthanshehadsupposed，andyetalso，asunaccountably，appealing。Histiehaddemandedastruggle；heoughttohavetakenacleanoneafterhisfirstfailure。Whywasshenotingthingslikethis？Capesseemedself-possessedandelaboratelygenialandcommonplace，butsheknewhimtobenervousbyalittleoccasionalclumsiness，bythefaintestshadowofvulgarityintheurgencyofhishospitality。Shewishedhecouldsmokeanddullhisnervesalittle。Agustofirrationalimpatienceblewthroughherbeing。

Well，they’dgottothepheasants，andinalittlewhilehewouldsmoke。Whatwasitshehadexpected？Surelyhermoodsweregettingalittleoutofhand。

Shewishedherfatherandauntwouldnotenjoytheirdinnerwithsuchquietdetermination。Herfatherandherhusband，whohadbothbeenalittlepaleattheirfirstencounter，weregrowingnowjustfaintlyflushed。Itwasapitypeoplehadtoeatfood。

"Isuppose，"saidherfather，"Ihavereadatleasthalfthenovelsthathavebeenatallsuccessfulduringthelasttwentyyears。Threeaweekismyallowance，and，ifIgetshortones，four。IchangetheminthemorningatCannonStreet，andtakemybookasIcomedown。"

Itoccurredtoherthatshehadneverseenherfatherdiningoutbefore，neverwatchedhimcriticallyasanequal。ToCapeshewasalmostdeferential，andshehadneverseenhimdeferentialintheoldtime，never。Thedinnerwasstrangerthanshehadeveranticipated。Itwasasifshehadgrownrightpastherfatherintosomethingolderandofinfinitelywideroutlook，asifhehadalwaysbeenunsuspectedlyaflattenedfigure，andnowshehaddiscoveredhimfromtheotherside。

Itwasagreatrelieftoarriveatlastatthatpausewhenshecouldsaytoheraunt，"Now，dear？"andriseandholdbackthecurtainthroughthearchway。Capesandherfatherstoodup，andherfathermadeabelatedmovementtowardthecurtain。Sherealizedthathewasthesortofmanonedoesnotthinkmuchaboutatdinners。AndCapeswasthinkingthathiswifewasasupremelybeautifulwoman。Hereachedasilvercigarandcigaretteboxfromthesideboardandputitbeforehisfather-in-law，andforatimethepreliminariesofsmokingoccupiedthemboth。ThenCapesflitteredtothehearthrugandpokedthefire，stoodup，andturnedabout。"AnnVeronicaislookingverywell，don’tyouthink？"hesaid，alittleawkwardly。

"Very，"saidMr。Stanley。"Very，"andcrackedawalnutappreciatively。

"Life——things——Idon’tthinkherprospectsnow——Hopefuloutlook。"

"Youwereinadifficultposition，"Mr。Stanleypronounced，andseemedtohesitatewhetherhehadnotgonetoofar。Helookedathisportwineasthoughthattawnyrubycontainedthesolutionofthematter。"All’swellthatendswell，"hesaid；"andthelessonesaysaboutthingsthebetter。"

"Ofcourse，"saidCapes，andthrewanewlylitcigarintothefirethroughsheernervousness。"Havesomemoreportwine，sir？"

"It’saverysoundwine，"saidMr。Stanley，consentingwithdignity。

"AnnVeronicahasneverlookedquitesowell，Ithink，"saidCapes，clinging，becauseofapreconceivedplan，tothesuppressedtopic。

Part3

Atlasttheeveningwasover，andCapesandhiswifehadgonedowntoseeMr。Stanleyandhissisterintoataxicab，andhadwavedanamiablefarewellfromthepavementsteps。

"Greatdears！"saidCapes，asthevehiclepassedoutofsight。

"Yes，aren’tthey？"saidAnnVeronica，afterathoughtfulpause。

Andthen，"Theyseemchanged。"

"Comeinoutofthecold，"saidCapes，andtookherarm。

"Theyseemsmaller，youknow，evenphysicallysmaller，"shesaid。

"You’vegrownoutofthem……Yourauntlikedthepheasant。"

"Shelikedeverything。Didyouhearusthroughthearchway，talkingcookery？"

Theywentupbytheliftinsilence。

"It’sodd，"saidAnnVeronica，re-enteringtheflat。

"What’sodd？"

"Oh，everything！"

Sheshivered，andwenttothefireandpokedit。Capessatdowninthearm-chairbesideher。

"Life’ssoqueer，"shesaid，kneelingandlookingintotheflames。"Iwonder——Iwonderifweshallevergetlikethat。"

Sheturnedafirelitfacetoherhusband。"Didyoutellhim？"

Capessmiledfaintly。"Yes。"

"How？"

"Well——alittleclumsily。"

"Buthow？"

"Ipouredhimoutsomeportwine，andIsaid——letmesee——oh，’Youaregoingtobeagrandfather！’"

"Yes。Washepleased？"

"Calmly！Hesaid——youwon’tmindmytellingyou？"

"Notabit。"

"Hesaid，’PoorAlicehasgotnoend！’"

"Alice’saredifferent，"saidAnnVeronica，afteraninterval。

"Quitedifferent。Shedidn’tchooseherman……Well，Itoldaunt……Husbandofmine，Ithinkwehaveratheroverratedtheemotionalcapacityofthose——thosedears。"

"Whatdidyourauntsay？"

"Shedidn’tevenkissme。Shesaid"——AnnVeronicashiveredagain——"’Ihopeitwon’tmakeyouuncomfortable，mydear’——likethat——’andwhateveryoudo，dobecarefulofyourhair！’I

think——Ijudgefromhermanner——thatshethoughtitwasjustalittleindelicateofus——consideringeverything；butshetriedtobepracticalandsympatheticandlivedowntoourstandards。"

Capeslookedathiswife’sunsmilingface。

"Yourfather，"hesaid，"remarkedthatall’swellthatendswell，andthathewasdisposedtoletbygonesbebygones。Hethenspokewithacertainfatherlykindlinessofthepast……"

"Andmyhearthasachedforhim！"

"Oh，nodoubtitcuthimatthetime。Itmusthavecuthim。"

"Wemightevenhave——givenitupforthem！"

"Iwonderifwecould。"

"IsupposeallISwellthatendswell。Somehowto-night——Idon’tknow。"

"Isupposeso。I’mgladtheoldsoreisassuaged。Veryglad。

Butifwehadgoneunder——！"

Theyregardedoneanothersilently，andAnnVeronicahadoneofherpenetratingflashes。

"Wearenotthesortthatgoesunder，"saidAnnVeronica，holdingherhandssothattheredreflectionsvanishedfromhereyes。

"Wesettledlongago——we’rehardstuff。We’rehardstuff！"

Thenshewenton:"Tothinkthatismyfather！Oh，mydear！Hestoodovermelikeacliff；thethoughtofhimnearlyturnedmeasidefromeverythingwehavedone。Hewasthesocialorder；hewaslawandwisdom。Andtheycomehere，andtheylookatourfurnituretoseeifitisgood；andtheyarenotglad，itdoesnotstirthem，thatatlast，atlastwecandaretohavechildren。"

Shedroppedbackintoacrouchingattitudeandbegantoweep。

"Oh，mydear！"shecried，andsuddenlyflungherself，kneeling，intoherhusband’sarms。

"Doyourememberthemountains？Doyourememberhowwelovedoneanother？Howintenselywelovedoneanother！Doyourememberthelightonthingsandthegloryofthings？I’mgreedy，I’mgreedy！Iwantchildrenlikethemountainsandlifelikethesky。Oh！andlove——love！We’vehadsosplendidatime，andfoughtourfightandwon。Andit’slikethepetalsfallingfromaflower。Oh，I’velovedlove，dear！I’velovedloveandyou，andthegloryofyou；andthegreattimeisover，andIhavetogocarefullyandbearchildren，and——takecareofmyhair——andwhenIamdonewiththatIshallbeanoldwoman。Thepetalshavefallen——theredpetalswelovedso。We’rehedgedaboutwithdiscretions——andallthisfurniture——andsuccesses！Wearesuccessfulatlast！Successful！Butthemountains，dear！Wewon’tforgetthemountains，dear，ever。Thatshiningslopeofsnow，andhowwetalkedofdeath！Wemighthavedied！Evenwhenweareold，whenwearerichaswemaybe，wewon’tforgetthetunewhenwecarednothingforanythingbutthejoyofoneanother，whenweriskedeverythingforoneanother，whenallthewrappingsandcoveringsseemedtohavefallenfromlifeandleftitlightandfire。Starkandstark！Doyourememberitall？……

Sayyouwillneverforget！Thatthesecommonthingsandsecondarythingssha’n’toverwhelmus。Thesepetals！I’vebeenwantingtocryalltheevening，cryhereonyourshoulderformypetals。

Petals！……Sillywoman！……I’veneverhadthesecryingfitsbefore……"

"Bloodofmyheart！"whisperedCapes，holdingherclosetohim。

"Iknow。Iunderstand。"

End