第9章

chapter43

CHAPTER43

Mariannegotupthenextmorningatherusualtime;

toeveryinquiryrepliedthatshewasbetter，andtriedtoproveherselfso，byengaginginheraccustomaryemployments。

Butadayspentinsittingshiveringoverthefirewithabookinherhand，whichshewasunabletoread，orinlying，wearyandlanguid，onasofa，didnotspeakmuchinfavourofheramendment;andwhen，atlast，shewentearlytobed，moreandmoreindisposed，ColonelBrandonwasonlyastonishedathersister’scomposure，who，thoughattendingandnursingherthewholeday，againstMarianneinclination，andforcingpropermedicinesonheratnight，trusted，likeMarianne，tothecertaintyandefficacyofsleep，andfeltnorealalarm。

Averyrestlessandfeverishnight，however，disappointedtheexpectationofboth;andwhenMarianne，afterpersistinginrising，confessedherselfunabletositup，andreturnedvoluntarilytoherbed，ElinorwasveryreadytoadoptMrs。Jennings’sadvice，ofsendingforthePalmers’apothecary。

Hecame，examinedhispatient，andthoughencouragingMissDashwoodtoexpectthataveryfewdayswouldrestorehersistertohealth，yet，bypronouncingherdisordertohaveaputridtendency，andallowingtheword“infection“

topasshislips，gaveinstantalarmtoMrs。Palmer，onherbaby’saccount。Mrs。Jennings，whohadbeeninclinedfromthefirsttothinkMarianne’scomplaintmoreseriousthanElinor，nowlookedverygraveonMr。Harris’sreport，andconfirmingCharlotte’sfearsandcaution，urgedthenecessityofherimmediateremovalwithherinfant;

andMr。Palmer，thoughtreatingtheirapprehensionsasidle，foundtheanxietyandimportunityofhiswifetoogreattobewithstood。Herdeparture，therefore，wasfixedon;

andwithinanhourafterMr。Harris’sarrival，shesetoff，withherlittleboyandhisnurse，forthehouseofanearrelationofMr。Palmer’s，wholivedafewmilesontheothersideofBath;whitherherhusbandpromised，atherearnestentreaty，tojoinherinadayortwo;

andwhithershewasalmostequallyurgentwithhermothertoaccompanyher。Mrs。Jennings，however，withakindnessofheartwhichmadeElinorreallyloveher，declaredherresolutionofnotstirringfromClevelandaslongasMarianneremainedill，andofendeavouring，byherownattentivecare，tosupplytohertheplaceofthemothershehadtakenherfrom;andElinorfoundheroneveryoccasionamostwillingandactivehelpmate，desiroustoshareinallherfatigues，andoftenbyherbetterexperienceinnursing，ofmaterialuse。

PoorMarianne，languidandlowfromthenatureofhermalady，andfeelingherselfuniversallyill，couldnolongerhopethattomorrowwouldfindherrecovered;

andtheideaofwhattomorrowwouldhaveproduced，butforthisunluckyillness，madeeveryailmentsevere;

foronthatdaytheyweretohavebeguntheirjourneyhome;

and，attendedthewholewaybyaservantofMrs。Jennings，weretohavetakentheirmotherbysurpriseonthefollowingforenoon。Thelittleshesaidwasallinlamentationofthisinevitabledelay;thoughElinortriedtoraiseherspirits，andmakeherbelieve，assheTHEN

reallybelievedherself，thatitwouldbeaveryshortone。

Thenextdayproducedlittleornoalterationinthestateofthepatient;shecertainlywasnotbetter，and，exceptthattherewasnoamendment，didnotappearworse。

Theirpartywasnowfartherreduced;forMr。Palmer，thoughveryunwillingtogoaswellfromrealhumanityandgood-nature，asfromadislikeofappearingtobefrightenedawaybyhiswife，waspersuadedatlastbyColonelBrandontoperformhispromiseoffollowingher;

andwhilehewaspreparingtogo，ColonelBrandonhimself，withamuchgreaterexertion，begantotalkofgoinglikewise——Here，however，thekindnessofMrs。Jenningsinterposedmostacceptably;fortosendtheColonelawaywhilehislovewasinsomuchuneasinessonhersister’saccount，wouldbetodeprivethemboth，shethought，ofeverycomfort;andthereforetellinghimatoncethathisstayatClevelandwasnecessarytoherself，thatsheshouldwanthimtoplayatpiquetofanevening，whileMissDashwoodwasabovewithhersister，&c。sheurgedhimsostronglytoremain，thathe，whowasgratifyingthefirstwishofhisownheartbyacompliance，couldnotlongevenaffecttodemur;especiallyasMrs。Jennings’sentreatywaswarmlysecondedbyMr。Palmer，whoseemedtofeelarelieftohimself，inleavingbehindhimapersonsowellabletoassistoradviseMissDashwoodinanyemergence。

Mariannewas，ofcourse，keptinignoranceofallthesearrangements。SheknewnotthatshehadbeenthemeansofsendingtheownersofClevelandaway，inaboutsevendaysfromthetimeoftheirarrival。

ItgavehernosurprisethatshesawnothingofMrs。Palmer;

andasitgaveherlikewisenoconcern，shenevermentionedhername。

TwodayspassedawayfromthetimeofMr。Palmer’sdeparture，andhersituationcontinued，withlittlevariation，thesame。Mr。Harris，whoattendedhereveryday，stilltalkedboldlyofaspeedyrecovery，andMissDashwoodwasequallysanguine;buttheexpectationoftheotherswasbynomeanssocheerful。Mrs。JenningshaddeterminedveryearlyintheseizurethatMariannewouldnevergetoverit，andColonelBrandon，whowaschieflyofuseinlisteningtoMrs。Jennings’sforebodings，wasnotinastateofmindtoresisttheirinfluence。

Hetriedtoreasonhimselfoutoffears，whichthedifferentjudgmentoftheapothecaryseemedtorenderabsurd;

butthemanyhoursofeachdayinwhichhewasleftentirelyalone，werebuttoofavourablefortheadmissionofeverymelancholyidea，andhecouldnotexpelfromhismindthepersuasionthatheshouldseeMariannenomore。

Onthemorningofthethirddayhowever，thegloomyanticipationsofbothwerealmostdoneaway;forwhenMr。Harrisarrived，hedeclaredhispatientmateriallybetter。

Herpulsewasmuchstronger，andeverysymptommorefavourablethanontheprecedingvisit。Elinor，confirmedineverypleasanthope，wasallcheerfulness;rejoicingthatinherletterstohermother，shehadpursuedherownjudgmentratherthanherfriend’s，inmakingverylightoftheindispositionwhichdelayedthematCleveland;

andalmostfixingonthetimewhenMariannewouldbeabletotravel。

Butthedaydidnotclosesoauspiciouslyasitbegan——

TowardstheeveningMariannebecameillagain，growingmoreheavy，restless，anduncomfortablethanbefore。

Hersister，however，stillsanguine，waswillingtoattributethechangetonothingmorethanthefatigueofhavingsatuptohaveherbedmade;andcarefullyadministeringthecordialsprescribed，sawher，withsatisfaction，sinkatlastintoaslumber，fromwhichsheexpectedthemostbeneficialeffects。Hersleep，thoughnotsoquietasElinorwishedtoseeit，lastedaconsiderabletime;andanxioustoobservetheresultofitherself，sheresolvedtositwithherduringthewholeofit。Mrs。Jennings，knowingnothingofanychangeinthepatient，wentunusuallyearlytobed;

hermaid，whowasoneoftheprincipalnurses，wasrecreatingherselfinthehousekeeper’sroom，andElinorremainedalonewithMarianne。

Thereposeofthelatterbecamemoreandmoredisturbed;

andhersister，whowatched，withunremittingattentionhercontinualchangeofposture，andheardthefrequentbutinarticulatesoundsofcomplaintwhichpassedherlips，wasalmostwishingtorouseherfromsopainfulaslumber，whenMarianne，suddenlyawakenedbysomeaccidentalnoiseinthehouse，startedhastilyup，and，withfeverishwildness，criedout，——

“Ismamacoming？——“

“Notyet，“criedtheother，concealingherterror，andassistingMariannetoliedownagain，“butshewillbehere，Ihope，beforeitislong。Itisagreatway，youknow，fromhencetoBarton。”

“ButshemustnotgoroundbyLondon，“criedMarianne，inthesamehurriedmanner。”Ishallneverseeher，ifshegoesbyLondon。”

Elinorperceivedwithalarmthatshewasnotquiteherself，and，whileattemptingtosootheher，eagerlyfeltherpulse。Itwaslowerandquickerthanever！

andMarianne，stilltalkingwildlyofmama，heralarmincreasedsorapidly，astodetermineheronsendinginstantlyforMr。Harris，anddespatchingamessengertoBartonforhermother。ToconsultwithColonelBrandononthebestmeansofeffectingthelatter，wasathoughtwhichimmediatelyfollowedtheresolutionofitsperformance;

andassoonshehadrungupthemaidtotakeherplacebyhersister，shehasteneddowntothedrawing-room，wheresheknewhewasgenerallytobefoundatamuchlaterhourthanthepresent。

Itwasnotimeforhesitation。Herfearsandherdifficultieswereimmediatelybeforehim。Herfears，hehadnocourage，noconfidencetoattempttheremovalof：——

helistenedtotheminsilentdespondence;——butherdifficultieswereinstantlyobviated，forwithareadinessthatseemedtospeaktheoccasion，andtheservicepre-arrangedinhismind，heofferedhimselfasthemessengerwhoshouldfetchMrs。Dashwood。Elinormadenoresistancethatwasnoteasilyovercome。Shethankedhimwithbrief，thoughferventgratitude，andwhilehewenttohurryoffhisservantwithamessagetoMr。Harris，andanorderforpost-horsesdirectly，shewroteafewlinestohermother。

ThecomfortofsuchafriendatthatmomentasColonelBrandon——orsuchacompanionforhermother，——howgratefullywasitfelt！——acompanionwhosejudgmentwouldguide，whoseattendancemustrelieve，andwhosefriendshipmightsootheher！——asfarastheshockofsuchasummonsCOULD

belessenedtoher，hispresence，hismanners，hisassistance，wouldlessenit。

HE，meanwhile，whateverhemightfeel，actedwithallthefirmnessofacollectedmind，madeeverynecessaryarrangementwiththeutmostdespatch，andcalculatedwithexactnessthetimeinwhichshemightlookforhisreturn。Notamomentwaslostindelayofanykind。

Thehorsesarrived，evenbeforetheywereexpected，andColonelBrandononlypressingherhandwithalookofsolemnity，andafewwordsspokentoolowtoreachherear，hurriedintothecarriage。Itwasthenabouttwelveo’clock，andshereturnedtohersister’sapartmenttowaitforthearrivaloftheapothecary，andtowatchbyhertherestofthenight。Itwasanightofalmostequalsufferingtoboth。HourafterhourpassedawayinsleeplesspainanddeliriumonMarianne’sside，andinthemostcruelanxietyonElinor’s，beforeMr。Harrisappeared。

Herapprehensionsonceraised，paidbytheirexcessforallherformersecurity;andtheservantwhosatupwithher，forshewouldnotallowMrs。Jenningstobecalled，onlytorturedhermore，byhintsofwhathermistresshadalwaysthought。

Marianne’sideaswerestill，atintervals，fixedincoherentlyonhermother，andwhenevershementionedhername，itgaveapangtotheheartofpoorElinor，who，reproachingherselfforhavingtrifledwithsomanydaysofillness，andwretchedforsomeimmediaterelief，fanciedthatallreliefmightsoonbeinvain，thateverythinghadbeendelayedtoolong，andpicturedtoherselfhersufferingmotherarrivingtoolatetoseethisdarlingchild，ortoseeherrational。

ShewasonthepointofsendingagainforMr。

Harris，orifHEcouldnotcome，forsomeotheradvice，whentheformer——butnottillafterfiveo’clock——arrived。

Hisopinion，however，madesomelittleamendsforhisdelay，forthoughacknowledgingaveryunexpectedandunpleasantalterationinhispatient，hewouldnotallowthedangertobematerial，andtalkedofthereliefwhichafreshmodeoftreatmentmustprocure，withaconfidencewhich，inalesserdegree，wascommunicatedtoElinor。Hepromisedtocallagaininthecourseofthreeorfourhours，andleftboththepatientandheranxiousattendantmorecomposedthanhehadfoundthem。

Withstrongconcern，andwithmanyreproachesfornotbeingcalledtotheiraid，didMrs。Jenningshearinthemorningofwhathadpassed。Herformerapprehensions，nowwithgreaterreasonrestored，lefthernodoubtoftheevent;andthoughtryingtospeakcomforttoElinor，herconvictionofhersister’sdangerwouldnotallowhertoofferthecomfortofhope。Herheartwasreallygrieved。

Therapiddecay，theearlydeathofagirlsoyoung，solovelyasMarianne，musthavestruckalessinterestedpersonwithconcern。OnMrs。Jennings’scompassionshehadotherclaims。Shehadbeenforthreemonthshercompanion，wasstillunderhercare，andshewasknowntohavebeengreatlyinjured，andlongunhappy。

Thedistressofhersistertoo，particularlyafavourite，wasbeforeher;——andasfortheirmother，whenMrs。JenningsconsideredthatMariannemightprobablybetoHERwhatCharlottewastoherself，hersympathyinHERsufferingswasverysincere。

Mr。Harriswaspunctualinhissecondvisit;——

buthecametobedisappointedinhishopesofwhatthelastwouldproduce。Hismedicineshadfailed;——thefeverwasunabated;andMarianneonlymorequiet——notmoreherself——remainedinaheavystupor。Elinor，catchingall，andmorethanall，hisfearsinamoment，proposedtocallinfurtheradvice。Buthejudgeditunnecessary：hehadstillsomethingmoretotry，somemorefreshapplication，ofwhosesuccesshewasasconfidentasthelast，andhisvisitconcludedwithencouragingassuranceswhichreachedtheear，butcouldnotentertheheartofMissDashwood。

Shewascalm，exceptwhenshethoughtofhermother;

butshewasalmosthopeless;andinthisstateshecontinuedtillnoon，scarcelystirringfromhersister’sbed，herthoughtswanderingfromoneimageofgrief，onesufferingfriendtoanother，andherspiritsoppressedtotheutmostbytheconversationofMrs。Jennings，whoscruplednottoattributetheseverityanddangerofthisattacktothemanyweeksofpreviousindispositionwhichMarianne’sdisappointmenthadbroughton。

Elinorfeltallthereasonablenessoftheidea，anditgavefreshmiserytoherreflections。

Aboutnoon，however，shebegan——butwithacaution——adreadofdisappointmentwhichforsometimekepthersilent，eventoherfriend——tofancy，tohopeshecouldperceiveaslightamendmentinhersister’spulse;——shewaited，watched，andexamineditagainandagain;——andatlast，withanagitationmoredifficulttoburyunderexteriorcalmness，thanallherforegoingdistress，venturedtocommunicateherhopes。Mrs。Jennings，thoughforced，onexamination，toacknowledgeatemporaryrevival，triedtokeepheryoungfriendfromindulgingathoughtofitscontinuance;——

andElinor，conningovereveryinjunctionofdistrust，toldherselflikewisenottohope。Butitwastoolate。

Hopehadalreadyentered;andfeelingallitsanxiousflutter，shebentoverhersistertowatch——shehardlyknewforwhat。

Halfanhourpassedaway，andthefavourablesymptomyetblessedher。Othersevenarosetoconfirmit。

Herbreath，herskin，herlips，allflatteredElinorwithsignsofamendment;andMariannefixedhereyesonherwitharational，thoughlanguid，gaze。Anxietyandhopenowoppressedherinequaldegrees，andlefthernomomentoftranquillitytillthearrivalofMr。Harrisatfouro’clock;——whenhisassurances，hisfelicitationsonarecoveryinhersisterevensurpassinghisexpectation，gaveherconfidence，comfort，andtearsofjoy。

Mariannewasineveryrespectmateriallybetter，andhedeclaredherentirelyoutofdanger。Mrs。Jennings，perhapssatisfiedwiththepartialjustificationofherforebodingswhichhadbeenfoundintheirlatealarm，allowedherselftotrustinhisjudgment，andadmitted，withunfeignedjoy，andsoonwithunequivocalcheerfulness，theprobabilityofanentirerecovery。

Elinorcouldnotbecheerful。Herjoywasofadifferentkind，andledtoanythingratherthantogaiety。

Mariannerestoredtolife，health，friends，andtoherdotingmother，wasanideatofillherheartwithsensationsofexquisitecomfort，andexpanditinferventgratitude;——

butitleadtonooutwarddemonstrationsofjoy，nowords，nosmiles。AllwithinElinor’sbreastwassatisfaction，silentandstrong。

Shecontinuedbythesideofhersister，withlittleintermissionthewholeafternoon，calmingeveryfear，satisfyingeveryinquiryofherenfeebledspirits，supplyingeverysuccour，andwatchingalmosteverylookandeverybreath。Thepossibilityofarelapsewouldofcourse，insomemoments，occurtoremindherofwhatanxietywas——

butwhenshesaw，onherfrequentandminuteexamination，thateverysymptomofrecoverycontinued，andsawMarianneatsixo’clocksinkintoaquiet，steady，andtoallappearancecomfortable，sleep，shesilencedeverydoubt。

Thetimewasnowdrawingon，whenColonelBrandonmightbeexpectedback。Atteno’clock，shetrusted，oratleastnotmuchlaterhermotherwouldberelievedfromthedreadfulsuspenseinwhichshemustnowbetravellingtowardsthem。TheColonel，too！——perhapsscarcelylessanobjectofpity！——Oh！——howslowwastheprogressoftimewhichyetkepttheminignorance！

Atseveno’clock，leavingMariannestillsweetlyasleep，shejoinedMrs。Jenningsinthedrawing-roomtotea。

Ofbreakfastshehadbeenkeptbyherfears，andofdinnerbytheirsuddenreverse，fromeatingmuch;——

andthepresentrefreshment，therefore，withsuchfeelingsofcontentasshebroughttoit，wasparticularlywelcome。

Mrs。Jenningswouldhavepersuadedher，atitsconclusion，totakesomerestbeforehermother’sarrival，andallowHERtotakeherplacebyMarianne;butElinorhadnosenseoffatigue，nocapabilityofsleepatthatmomentabouther，andshewasnottobekeptawayfromhersisteranunnecessaryinstant。

Mrs。Jenningsthereforeattendingherupstairsintothesickchamber，tosatisfyherselfthatallcontinuedright，leftherthereagaintoherchargeandherthoughts，andretiredtoherownroomtowritelettersandsleep。

Thenightwascoldandstormy。Thewindroaredroundthehouse，andtherainbeatagainstthewindows;

butElinor，allhappinesswithin，regardeditnot。

Mariannesleptthrougheveryblast;andthetravellers——

theyhadarichrewardinstore，foreverypresentinconvenience。

Theclockstruckeight。Haditbeenten，Elinorwouldhavebeenconvincedthatatthatmomentsheheardacarriagedrivinguptothehouse;

andsostrongwasthepersuasionthatsheDID，inspiteoftheALMOSTimpossibilityoftheirbeingalreadycome，thatshemovedintotheadjoiningdressing-closetandopenedawindowshutter，tobesatisfiedofthetruth。

Sheinstantlysawthatherearshadnotdeceivedher。

Theflaringlampsofacarriagewereimmediatelyinview。

Bytheiruncertainlightshethoughtshecoulddiscernittobedrawnbyfourhorses;andthis，whileittoldtheexcessofherpoormother’salarm，gavesomeexplanationtosuchunexpectedrapidity。

NeverinherlifehadElinorfounditsodifficulttobecalm，asatthatmoment。Theknowledgeofwhathermothermustbefeelingasthecarriagestoptatthedoor——

ofherdoubt——herdread——perhapsherdespair！——andofwhatSHEhadtotell！——withsuchknowledgeitwasimpossibletobecalm。Allthatremainedtobedonewastobespeedy;and，thereforestayingonlytillshecouldleaveMrs。Jennings’smaidwithhersister，shehurrieddownstairs。

Thebustleinthevestibule，asshepassedalonganinnerlobby，assuredherthattheywerealreadyinthehouse。Sherushedtothedrawing-room，——sheenteredit，——andsawonlyWilloughby。

chapter44

CHAPTER44

Elinor，startingbackwithalookofhorroratthesightofhim，obeyedthefirstimpulseofherheartinturninginstantlytoquittheroom，andherhandwasalreadyonthelock，whenitsactionwassuspendedbyhishastilyadvancing，andsaying，inavoiceratherofcommandthansupplication，“MissDashwood，forhalfanhour——fortenminutes——

Ientreatyoutostay。”

“No，sir，“sherepliedwithfirmness，“IshallNOTstay。

YourbusinesscannotbewithME。Theservants，Isuppose，forgottotellyouthatMr。Palmerwasnotinthehouse。”

“Hadtheytoldme，“hecriedwithvehemence，“thatMr。Palmerandallhisrelationswereatthedevil，itwouldnothaveturnedmefromthedoor。Mybusinessiswithyou，andonlyyou。”

“Withme！”——intheutmostamazement——“well，sir，——

bequick——andifyoucan——lessviolent。”

“Sitdown，andIwillbeboth。”

Shehesitated;sheknewnotwhattodo。

ThepossibilityofColonelBrandon’sarrivingandfindingherthere，cameacrossher。Butshehadpromisedtohearhim，andhercuriositynolessthanherhonorwasengaged。

Afteramoment’srecollection，therefore，concludingthatprudencerequireddispatch，andthatheracquiescencewouldbestpromoteit，shewalkedsilentlytowardsthetable，andsatdown。Hetooktheoppositechair，andforhalfaminutenotawordwassaidbyeither。

“Praybequick，sir，“——saidElinor，impatiently;——

“Ihavenotimetospare。”

Hewassittinginanattitudeofdeepmeditation，andseemednottohearher。

“Yoursister，“saidhe，withabruptness，amomentafterwards——“isoutofdanger。Ihearditfromtheservant。

Godbepraised！——Butisittrue？isitreallytrue？”

Elinorwouldnotspeak。Herepeatedtheinquirywithyetgreatereagerness。

“ForGod’ssaketellme，issheoutofdanger，orisshenot？”

“Wehopesheis。”

Heroseup，andwalkedacrosstheroom。

“HadIknownasmuchhalfanhourago——ButsinceIAMhere，“——speakingwithaforcedvivacityashereturnedtohisseat——“whatdoesitsignify？——Foronce，MissDashwood——itwillbethelasttime，perhaps——letusbecheerfultogether——Iaminafinemoodforgaiety——

Tellmehonestly“——adeeperglowoverspreadinghischeeks——

“doyouthinkmemostaknaveorafool？”

Elinorlookedathimwithgreaterastonishmentthanever。

Shebegantothinkthatbemustbeinliquor;——thestrangenessofsuchavisit，andofsuchmanners，seemednootherwiseintelligible;andwiththisimpressionsheimmediatelyrose，saying，“Mr。Willoughby，IadviseyouatpresenttoreturntoCombe——Iamnotatleisuretoremainwithyoulonger——

Whateveryourbusinessmaybewithme，willitbebetterrecollectedandexplainedto-morrow。”

“Iunderstandyou，“hereplied，withanexpressivesmile，andavoiceperfectlycalm;“yes，Iamverydrunk——

ApintofporterwithmycoldbeefatMarlboroughwasenoughtoover-setme。”

“AtMarlborough！”——criedElinor，moreandmoreatalosstounderstandwhathewouldbeat。

“Yes，——IleftLondonthismorningateighto’clock，andtheonlytenminutesIhavespentoutofmychaisesincethattimeprocuredmeanuncheonatMarlborough。”

Thesteadinessofhismanner，andtheintelligenceofhiseyeashespoke，convincingElinor，thatwhateverotherunpardonablefollymightbringhimtoCleveland，hewasnotbroughttherebyintoxication，shesaid，afteramoment’srecollection，“Mr。Willoughby，youOUGHTtofeel，andIcertainlyDO——thatafterwhathaspassed——yourcominghereinthismanner，andforcingyourselfuponmynotice，requiresaveryparticularexcuse——Whatisit，thatyoumeanbyit？”——

“Imean，“——saidhe，withseriousenergy——“ifIcan，tomakeyouhatemeonedegreelessthanyoudoNOW。

Imeantooffersomekindofexplanation，somekindofapology，forthepast;toopenmywholehearttoyou，andbyconvincingyou，thatthoughIhavebeenalwaysablockhead，Ihavenotbeenalwaysarascal，toobtainsomethinglikeforgivenessfromMa——fromyoursister。”

“Isthistherealreasonofyourcoming？”

“Uponmysoulitis，“——washisanswer，withawarmthwhichbroughtalltheformerWilloughbytoherremembrance，andinspiteofherselfmadeherthinkhimsincere。

“Ifthatisall，youmaybesatisfiedalready，——

forMarianneDOES——shehasLONGforgivenyou。”

“Hasshe？”——hecried，inthesameeagertone——

“Thenshehasforgivenmebeforesheoughttohavedoneit。

Butsheshallforgivemeagain，andonmorereasonablegrounds——NOWwillyoulistentome？”

Elinorbowedherassent。

“Idonotknow，“saidhe，afterapauseofexpectationonherside，andthoughtfulnessonhisown，——“howYOU

mayhaveaccountedformybehaviourtoyoursister，orwhatdiabolicalmotiveyoumayhaveimputedtome——

Perhapsyouwillhardlythinkthebetterofme，——itisworththetrialhowever，andyoushallheareverything。

WhenIfirstbecameintimateinyourfamily，Ihadnootherintention，nootherviewintheacquaintancethantopassmytimepleasantlywhileIwasobligedtoremaininDevonshire，morepleasantlythanIhadeverdonebefore。

Yoursister’slovelypersonandinterestingmannerscouldnotbutpleaseme;andherbehaviourtomealmostfromthefirst，wasofakind——Itisastonishing，whenIreflectonwhatitwas，andwhatSHEwas，thatmyheartshouldhavebeensoinsensible！，ButatfirstImustconfess，myvanityonlywaselevatedbyit。

Carelessofherhappiness，thinkingonlyofmyownamusement，givingwaytofeelingswhichIhadalwaysbeentoomuchinthehabitofindulging，Iendeavoured，byeverymeansinmypower，tomakemyselfpleasingtoher，withoutanydesignofreturningheraffection。”

MissDashwood，atthispoint，turninghereyesonhimwiththemostangrycontempt，stoppedhim，bysaying，“Itishardlyworthwhile，Mr。Willoughby，foryoutorelate，orformetolistenanylonger。

Suchabeginningasthiscannotbefollowedbyanything——

Donotletmebepainedbyhearinganythingmoreonthesubject。”

“Iinsistonyouhearingthewholeofit，“

hereplied，“Myfortunewasneverlarge，andIhadalwaysbeenexpensive，alwaysinthehabitofassociatingwithpeopleofbetterincomethanmyself。Everyyearsincemycomingofage，orevenbefore，Ibelieve，hadaddedtomydebts;andthoughthedeathofmyoldcousin，Mrs。Smith，wastosetmefree;

yetthateventbeinguncertain，andpossiblyfardistant，ithadbeenforsometimemyintentiontore-establishmycircumstancesbymarryingawomanoffortune。Toattachmyselftoyoursister，therefore，wasnotathingtobethoughtof;——andwithameanness，selfishness，cruelty——

whichnoindignant，nocontemptuouslook，evenofyours，MissDashwood，caneverreprobatetoomuch——Iwasactinginthismanner，tryingtoengageherregard，withoutathoughtofreturningit——Butonethingmaybesaidforme：eveninthathorridstateofselfishvanity，IdidnotknowtheextentoftheinjuryImeditated，becauseIdidnotTHENknowwhatitwastolove。

ButhaveIeverknownit？——Wellmayitbedoubted;for，hadI

reallyloved，couldIhavesacrificedmyfeelingstovanity，toavarice？——or，whatismore，couldIhavesacrificedhers？——

ButIhavedoneit。Toavoidacomparativepoverty，whichheraffectionandhersocietywouldhavedeprivedofallitshorrors，Ihave，byraisingmyselftoaffluence，losteverythingthatcouldmakeitablessing。”

“Youdidthen，“saidElinor，alittlesoftened，“believeyourselfatonetimeattachedtoher？”

“Tohaveresistedsuchattractions，tohavewithstoodsuchtenderness！——Isthereamanonearthwhocouldhavedoneit？——Yes，Ifoundmyself，byinsensibledegrees，sincerelyfondofher;andthehappiesthoursofmylifewerewhatIspentwithherwhenIfeltmyintentionswerestrictlyhonourable，andmyfeelingsblameless。

EvenTHEN，however，whenfullydeterminedonpayingmyaddressestoher，Iallowedmyselfmostimproperlytoputoff，fromdaytoday，themomentofdoingit，fromanunwillingnesstoenterintoanengagementwhilemycircumstancesweresogreatlyembarrassed。

Iwillnotreasonhere——norwillIstopforYOUtoexpatiateontheabsurdity，andtheworsethanabsurdity，ofscruplingtoengagemyfaithwheremyhonourwasalreadybound。

Theeventhasproved，thatIwasacunningfool，providingwithgreatcircumspectionforapossibleopportunityofmakingmyselfcontemptibleandwretchedforever。Atlast，however，myresolutionwastaken，andIhaddetermined，assoonasIcouldengageheralone，tojustifytheattentionsIhadsoinvariablypaidher，andopenlyassureherofanaffectionwhichIhadalreadytakensuchpainstodisplay。Butintheinterim——intheinterimoftheveryfewhoursthatweretopass，beforeI

couldhaveanopportunityofspeakingwithherinprivate——

acircumstanceoccurred——anunluckycircumstance，toruinallmyresolution，andwithitallmycomfort。Adiscoverytookplace，“——herehehesitatedandlookeddown——“Mrs。Smithhadsomehoworotherbeeninformed，Iimaginebysomedistantrelation，whoseinterestitwastodeprivemeofherfavour，ofanaffair，aconnection——butIneednotexplainmyselffarther，“headded，lookingatherwithanheightenedcolourandanenquiringeye——“yourparticularintimacy——youhaveprobablyheardthewholestorylongago。”

“Ihave，“returnedElinor，colouringlikewise，andhardeningherheartanewagainstanycompassionforhim，“Ihavehearditall。Andhowyouwillexplainawayanypartofyourguiltinthatdreadfulbusiness，Iconfessisbeyondmycomprehension。”

“Remember，“criedWilloughby，“fromwhomyoureceivedtheaccount。Coulditbeanimpartialone？，Iacknowledgethathersituationandhercharacteroughttohavebeenrespectedbyme。Idonotmeantojustifymyself，butatthesametimecannotleaveyoutosupposethatIhavenothingtourge——thatbecauseshewasinjuredshewasirreproachable，andbecauseIwasalibertine，SHEmustbeasaint。

Iftheviolenceofherpassions，theweaknessofherunderstanding——Idonotmean，however，todefendmyself。

Heraffectionformedeservedbettertreatment，andIoften，withgreatself-reproach，recallthetendernesswhich，foraveryshorttime，hadthepowerofcreatinganyreturn。

Iwish——Iheartilywishithadneverbeen。ButIhaveinjuredmorethanherself;andIhaveinjuredone，whoseaffectionforme——(mayIsayit？)wasscarcelylesswarmthanhers;

andwhosemind——Oh！howinfinitelysuperior！”——

“Yourindifference，however，towardsthatunfortunategirl——Imustsayit，unpleasanttomeasthediscussionofsuchasubjectmaywellbe——yourindifferenceisnoapologyforyourcruelneglectofher。Donotthinkyourselfexcusedbyanyweakness，anynaturaldefectofunderstandingonherside，inthewantoncrueltysoevidentonyours。

Youmusthaveknown，thatwhileyouwereenjoyingyourselfinDevonshirepursuingfreshschemes，alwaysgay，alwayshappy，shewasreducedtotheextremestindigence。”

“But，uponmysoul，IdidNOTknowit，“hewarmlyreplied;“IdidnotrecollectthatIhadomittedtogivehermydirection;andcommonsensemighthavetoldherhowtofinditout。”

“Well，sir，andwhatsaidMrs。Smith？”

“Shetaxedmewiththeoffenceatonce，andmyconfusionmaybeguessed。Thepurityofherlife，theformalityofhernotions，herignoranceoftheworld——everythingwasagainstme。ThematteritselfIcouldnotdeny，andvainwaseveryendeavourtosoftenit。Shewaspreviouslydisposed，Ibelieve，todoubtthemoralityofmyconductingeneral，andwasmoreoverdiscontentedwiththeverylittleattention，theverylittleportionofmytimethatIhadbestowedonher，inmypresentvisit。

Inshort，itendedinatotalbreach。ByonemeasureI

mighthavesavedmyself。Intheheightofhermorality，goodwoman！sheofferedtoforgivethepast，ifIwouldmarryEliza。Thatcouldnotbe——andIwasformallydismissedfromherfavourandherhouse。Thenightfollowingthisaffair——Iwastogothenextmorning——

wasspentbymeindeliberatingonwhatmyfutureconductshouldbe。Thestrugglewasgreat——butitendedtoosoon。

MyaffectionforMarianne，mythoroughconvictionofherattachmenttome——itwasallinsufficienttooutweighthatdreadofpoverty，orgetthebetterofthosefalseideasofthenecessityofriches，whichIwasnaturallyinclinedtofeel，andexpensivesocietyhadincreased。

Ihadreasontobelievemyselfsecureofmypresentwife，ifIchosetoaddressher，andIpersuadedmyselftothinkthatnothingelseincommonprudenceremainedformetodo。

Aheavyscenehoweverawaitedme，beforeIcouldleaveDevonshire;——Iwasengagedtodinewithyouonthatveryday;

someapologywasthereforenecessaryformybreakingthisengagement。ButwhetherIshouldwritethisapology，ordeliveritinperson，wasapointoflongdebate。

ToseeMarianne，Ifelt，wouldbedreadful，andIevendoubtedwhetherIcouldseeheragain，andkeeptomyresolution。

Inthatpoint，however，Iundervaluedmyownmagnanimity，astheeventdeclared;forIwent，Isawher，andsawhermiserable，andlefthermiserable——andleftherhopingnevertoseeheragain。”

“Whydidyoucall，Mr。Willoughby？”saidElinor，reproachfully;“anotewouldhaveansweredeverypurpose——

Whywasitnecessarytocall？”

“Itwasnecessarytomyownpride。I

couldnotbeartoleavethecountryinamannerthatmightleadyou，ortherestoftheneighbourhood，tosuspectanypartofwhathadreallypassedbetweenMrs。Smithandmyself——

andIresolvedthereforeoncallingatthecottage，inmywaytoHoniton。Thesightofyourdearsister，however，wasreallydreadful;and，toheightenthematter，Ifoundheralone。YouwereallgoneIdonotknowwhere。

Ihadleftheronlytheeveningbefore，sofully，sofirmlyresolvedwithinmyselfondoingright！

Afewhoursweretohaveengagedhertomeforever;

andIrememberhowhappy，howgayweremyspirits，asI

walkedfromthecottagetoAllenham，satisfiedwithmyself，delightedwitheverybody！，Butinthis，ourlastinterviewoffriendship，Iapproachedherwithasenseofguiltthatalmosttookfrommethepowerofdissembling。

Hersorrow，herdisappointment，herdeepregret，whenItoldherthatIwasobligedtoleaveDevonshiresoimmediately——I

nevershallforgetit——unitedtoowithsuchreliance，suchconfidenceinme！——Oh，God！——whatahard-heartedrascalIwas！”

Theywerebothsilentforafewmoments。

Elinorfirstspoke。

“Didyoutellherthatyoushouldsoonreturn？”

“IdonotknowwhatItoldher，“hereplied，impatiently;

“lessthanwasduetothepast，beyondadoubt，andinalllikelihoodmuchmorethanwasjustifiedbythefuture。

Icannotthinkofit——Itwon’tdo——Thencameyourdearmothertotorturemefarther，withallherkindnessandconfidence。

ThankHeaven！itDIDtortureme。Iwasmiserable。

MissDashwood，youcannothaveanideaofthecomfortitgivesmetolookbackonmyownmisery。Iowesuchagrudgetomyselfforthestupid，rascallyfollyofmyownheart，thatallmypastsufferingsunderitareonlytriumphandexultationtomenow。Well，Iwent，leftallthatIloved，andwenttothosetowhom，atbest，Iwasonlyindifferent。

Myjourneytotown——travellingwithmyownhorses，andthereforesotediously——nocreaturetospeakto——myownreflectionssocheerful——whenIlookedforwardeverythingsoinviting！——whenIlookedbackatBarton，thepicturesosoothing！——oh，itwasablessedjourney！”

Hestopped。

“Well，sir，“saidElinor，who，thoughpityinghim，grewimpatientforhisdeparture，“andthisisall？”

“Ah！——no，——haveyouforgotwhatpassedintown？——

Thatinfamousletter——Didsheshewityou？”

“Yes，Isaweverynotethatpassed。”

“Whenthefirstofhersreachedme(asitimmediatelydid，forIwasintownthewholetime，)whatIfeltis——

inthecommonphrase，nottobeexpressed;inamoresimpleone——perhapstoosimpletoraiseanyemotion——

myfeelingswerevery，verypainful——Everyline，everywordwas——inthehackneyedmetaphorwhichtheirdearwriter，wereshehere，wouldforbid——adaggertomyheart。

ToknowthatMariannewasintownwas——inthesamelanguage——

athunderbolt——Thunderboltsanddaggers！——whatareproofwouldshehavegivenme！——hertaste，heropinions——Ibelievetheyarebetterknowntomethanmyown，——andIamsuretheyaredearer。”

Elinor’sheart，whichhadundergonemanychangesinthecourseofthisextraordinaryconversation，wasnowsoftenedagain;——yetshefeltitherdutytochecksuchideasinhercompanionasthelast。

“Thisisnotright，Mr。Willoughby——Rememberthatyouaremarried。Relateonlywhatinyourconscienceyouthinknecessaryformetohear。”

“Marianne’snote，byassuringmethatIwasstillasdeartoherasinformerdays，thatinspiteofthemany，manyweekswehadbeenseparated，shewasasconstantinherownfeelings，andasfulloffaithintheconstancyofmineasever，awakenedallmyremorse。Isayawakened，becausetimeandLondon，businessanddissipation，hadinsomemeasurequietedit，andIhadbeengrowingafinehardenedvillain，fancyingmyselfindifferenttoher，andchusingtofancythatshetoomusthavebecomeindifferenttome;talkingtomyselfofourpastattachmentasamereidle，triflingbusiness，shruggingupmyshouldersinproofofitsbeingso，andsilencingeveryreproach，overcomingeveryscruple，bysecretlysayingnowandthen，’Ishallbeheartilygladtohearsheiswellmarried。’——

Butthisnotemademeknowmyselfbetter。Ifeltthatshewasinfinitelydearertomethananyotherwomanintheworld，andthatIwasusingherinfamously。

ButeverythingwasthenjustsettledbetweenMissGreyandme。Toretreatwasimpossible。AllthatIhadtodo，wastoavoidyouboth。IsentnoanswertoMarianne，intendingbythattopreservemyselffromherfarthernotice;

andforsometimeIwasevendeterminednottocallinBerkeleyStreet;——butatlast，judgingitwisertoaffecttheairofacool，commonacquaintancethananythingelse，Iwatchedyouallsafelyoutofthehouseonemorning，andleftmyname。”

“Watchedusoutofthehouse！”

“Evenso。YouwouldbesurprisedtohearhowoftenIwatchedyou，howoftenIwasonthepointoffallinginwithyou。Ihaveenteredmanyashoptoavoidyoursight，asthecarriagedroveby。LodgingasIdidinBondStreet，therewashardlyadayinwhichIdidnotcatchaglimpseofoneorotherofyou;andnothingbutthemostconstantwatchfulnessonmyside，amostinvariablyprevailingdesiretokeepoutofyoursight，couldhaveseparatedussolong。IavoidedtheMiddletonsasmuchaspossible，aswellaseverybodyelsewhowaslikelytoproveanacquaintanceincommon。Notawareoftheirbeingintown，however，IblunderedonSirJohn，Ibelieve，thefirstdayofhiscoming，andthedayafterIhadcalledatMrs。Jennings’s。Heaskedmetoaparty，adanceathishouseintheevening——HadheNOTtoldmeasaninducementthatyouandyoursisterweretobethere，Ishouldhavefeltittoocertainathing，totrustmyselfnearhim。

ThenextmorningbroughtanothershortnotefromMarianne——

stillaffectionate，open，artless，confiding——everythingthatcouldmakeMYconductmosthateful。Icouldnotanswerit。Itried——butcouldnotframeasentence。

ButIthoughtofher，Ibelieve，everymomentoftheday。

IfyouCANpityme，MissDashwood，pitymysituationasitwasTHEN。Withmyheadandheartfullofyoursister，Iwasforcedtoplaythehappylovertoanotherwoman！——Thosethreeorfourweekswereworsethanall。Well，atlast，asIneednottellyou，youwereforcedonme;andwhatasweetfigureIcut！——whataneveningofagonyitwas！——

Marianne，beautifulasanangelononeside，callingmeWilloughbyinsuchatone！——Oh，God！——holdingoutherhandtome，askingmeforanexplanation，withthosebewitchingeyesfixedinsuchspeakingsolicitudeonmyface！——andSophia，jealousasthedevilontheotherhand，lookingallthatwas——Well，itdoesnotsignify;itisovernow——

Suchanevening！——IranawayfromyouallassoonasIcould;

butnotbeforeIhadseenMarianne’ssweetfaceaswhiteasdeath——THATwasthelast，lastlookIeverhadofher;——

thelastmannerinwhichsheappearedtome。Itwasahorridsight！——yetwhenIthoughtofherto-dayasreallydying，itwasakindofcomforttometoimaginethatIknewexactlyhowshewouldappeartothose，whosawherlastinthisworld。Shewasbeforeme，constantlybeforeme，asItravelled，inthesamelookandhue。”

Ashortpauseofmutualthoughtfulnesssucceeded。

Willoughbyfirstrousinghimself，brokeitthus：

“Well，letmemakehasteandbegone。

Yoursisteriscertainlybetter，certainlyoutofdanger？”

“Weareassuredofit。”

“Yourpoormother，too！——dotingonMarianne。”

“Buttheletter，Mr。Willoughby，yourownletter;

haveyouanythingtosayaboutthat？”

“Yes，yes，THATinparticular。Yoursisterwrotetomeagain，youknow，theverynextmorning。

Yousawwhatshesaid。IwasbreakfastingattheEllisons，——andherletter，withsomeothers，wasbroughttometherefrommylodgings。IthappenedtocatchSophia’seyebeforeitcaughtmine——anditssize，theeleganceofthepaper，thehand-writingaltogether，immediatelygaveherasuspicion。SomevaguereporthadreachedherbeforeofmyattachmenttosomeyoungladyinDevonshire，andwhathadpassedwithinherobservationtheprecedingeveninghadmarkedwhotheyoungladywas，andmadehermorejealousthanever。Affectingthatairofplayfulness，therefore，whichisdelightfulinawomanoneloves，sheopenedtheletterdirectly，andreaditscontents。Shewaswellpaidforherimpudence。

Shereadwhatmadeherwretched。HerwretchednessIcouldhaveborne，butherpassion——hermalice——Atalleventsitmustbeappeased。And，inshort——whatdoyouthinkofmywife’sstyleofletter-writing？——delicate——tender——

trulyfeminine——wasitnot？”

“Yourwife！——Theletterwasinyourownhand-writing。”

“Yes，butIhadonlythecreditofservilelycopyingsuchsentencesasIwasashamedtoputmynameto。

Theoriginalwasallherown——herownhappythoughtsandgentlediction。ButwhatcouldIdo！——wewereengaged，everythinginpreparation，thedayalmostfixed——ButIamtalkinglikeafool。Preparation！——day！——Inhonestwords，hermoneywasnecessarytome，andinasituationlikemine，anythingwastobedonetopreventarupture。

Andafterall，whatdiditsignifytomycharacterintheopinionofMarianneandherfriends，inwhatlanguagemyanswerwascouched？——Itmusthavebeenonlytooneend。

Mybusinesswastodeclaremyselfascoundrel，andwhetherIdiditwithaboworablusterwasoflittleimportance——

’Iamruinedforeverintheiropinion——’saidItomyself——’Iamshutoutforeverfromtheirsociety，theyalreadythinkmeanunprincipledfellow，thisletterwillonlymakethemthinkmeablackguardone。’Suchweremyreasonings，as，inasortofdesperatecarelessness，Icopiedmywife’swords，andpartedwiththelastrelicsofMarianne。Herthreenotes——unluckilytheywereallinmypocketbook，orIshouldhavedeniedtheirexistence，andhoardedthemforever——Iwasforcedtoputthemup，andcouldnotevenkissthem。Andthelockofhair——thattooIhadalwayscarriedaboutmeinthesamepocket-book，whichwasnowsearchedbyMadamwiththemostingratiatingvirulence，——thedearlock——all，everymementowastornfromme。”

“Youareverywrong，Mr。Willoughby，veryblamable，“

saidElinor，whilehervoice，inspiteofherself，betrayedhercompassionateemotion;“yououghtnottospeakinthisway，eitherofMrs。Willoughbyormysister。

Youhadmadeyourownchoice。Itwasnotforcedonyou。

Yourwifehasaclaimtoyourpoliteness，toyourrespect，atleast。Shemustbeattachedtoyou，orshewouldnothavemarriedyou。Totreatherwithunkindness，tospeakofherslightinglyisnoatonementtoMarianne——norcanI

supposeitarelieftoyourownconscience。”

“Donottalktomeofmywife，“saidhewithaheavysigh——

“Shedoesnotdeserveyourcompassion——SheknewIhadnoregardforherwhenwemarried——Well，marriedwewere，andcamedowntoCombeMagnatobehappy，andafterwardsreturnedtotowntobegay——Andnowdoyoupityme，MissDashwood？——orhaveIsaidallthistonopurpose？——

AmI——beitonlyonedegree——amIlessguiltyinyouropinionthanIwasbefore？——Myintentionswerenotalwayswrong。

HaveIexplainedawayanypartofmyguilt？”

“Yes，youhavecertainlyremovedsomething——alittle——

Youhaveprovedyourself，onthewhole，lessfaultythanI

hadbelievedyou。Youhaveprovedyourheartlesswicked，muchlesswicked。ButIhardlyknow——themiserythatyouhaveinflicted——Ihardlyknowwhatcouldhavemadeitworse。”

“Willyourepeattoyoursisterwhensheisrecovered，whatIhavebeentellingyou？——Letmebealittlelightenedtooinheropinionaswellasinyours。Youtellmethatshehasforgivenmealready。Letmebeabletofancythatabetterknowledgeofmyheart，andofmypresentfeelings，willdrawfromheramorespontaneous，morenatural，moregentle，lessdignified，forgiveness。Tellherofmymiseryandmypenitence——tellherthatmyheartwasneverinconstanttoher，andifyouwill，thatatthismomentsheisdearertomethanever。”

“Iwilltellherallthatisnecessarytowhatmaycomparativelybecalled，yourjustification。Butyouhavenotexplainedtometheparticularreasonofyourcomingnow，norhowyouheardofherillness。”

“Lastnight，inDruryLanelobby，IranagainstSirJohnMiddleton，andwhenhesawwhoIwas——forthefirsttimethesetwomonths——hespoketome——Thathehadcutmeeversincemymarriage，Ihadseenwithoutsurpriseorresentment。Now，however，hisgood-natured，honest，stupidsoul，fullofindignationagainstme，andconcernforyoursister，couldnotresistthetemptationoftellingmewhatheknewoughtto——thoughprobablyhedidnotthinkitWOULD——vexmehorridly。Asbluntlyashecouldspeakit，therefore，hetoldmethatMarianneDashwoodwasdyingofaputridfeveratCleveland——aletterthatmorningreceivedfromMrs。Jenningsdeclaredherdangermostimminent——thePalmersareallgoneoffinafright，&c——IwastoomuchshockedtobeabletopassmyselfoffasinsensibleeventotheundiscerningSirJohn。

Hisheartwassoftenedinseeingminesuffer;andsomuchofhisill-willwasdoneaway，thatwhenweparted，healmostshookmebythehandwhileheremindedmeofanoldpromiseaboutapointerpuppy。WhatIfeltonhearingthatyoursisterwasdying——anddyingtoo，believingmethegreatestvillainuponearth，scorning，hatingmeinherlatestmoments——forhowcouldItellwhathorridprojectsmightnothavebeenimputed？，ONEpersonI

wassurewouldrepresentmeascapableofanything——

WhatIfeltwasdreadful！——Myresolutionwassoonmade，andateighto’clockthismorningIwasinmycarriage。

Nowyouknowall。”

Elinormadenoanswer。Herthoughtsweresilentlyfixedontheirreparableinjurywhichtooearlyanindependenceanditsconsequenthabitsofidleness，dissipation，andluxury，hadmadeinthemind，thecharacter，thehappiness，ofamanwho，toeveryadvantageofpersonandtalents，unitedadispositionnaturallyopenandhonest，andafeeling，affectionatetemper。Theworldhadmadehimextravagantandvain——Extravaganceandvanityhadmadehimcold-heartedandselfish。Vanity，whileseekingitsownguiltytriumphattheexpenseofanother，hadinvolvedhiminarealattachment，whichextravagance，oratleastitsoffspring，necessity，hadrequiredtobesacrificed。

Eachfaultypropensityinleadinghimtoevil，hadledhimlikewisetopunishment。Theattachment，fromwhichagainsthonour，againstfeeling，againsteverybetterinteresthehadoutwardlytornhimself，now，whennolongerallowable，governedeverythought;andtheconnection，forthesakeofwhichhehad，withlittlescruple，lefthersistertomisery，waslikelytoproveasourceofunhappinesstohimselfofafarmoreincurablenature。FromareverieofthiskindshewasrecalledattheendofsomeminutesbyWilloughby，who，rousinghimselffromareverieatleastequallypainful，startedupinpreparationforgoing，andsaid——

“Thereisnouseinstayinghere;Imustbeoff。”

“Areyougoingbacktotown？”

“No——toCombeMagna。Ihavebusinessthere;

fromthencetotowninadayortwo。Goodbye。”

Heheldouthishand。Shecouldnotrefusetogivehimhers’s;——hepresseditwithaffection。

“AndyouDOthinksomethingbetterofmethanyoudid？”——saidhe，lettingitfall，andleaningagainstthemantel-pieceasifforgettinghewastogo。

Elinorassuredhimthatshedid;——thatsheforgave，pitied，wishedhimwell——waseveninterestedinhishappiness——andaddedsomegentlecounselastothebehaviourmostlikelytopromoteit。Hisanswerwasnotveryencouraging。

“Astothat，“saidhe，“ImustrubthroughtheworldaswellasIcan。Domestichappinessisoutofthequestion。

If，however，Iamallowedtothinkthatyouandyoursfeelaninterestinmyfateandactions，itmaybethemeans——itmayputmeonmyguard——atleast，itmaybesomethingtolivefor。Mariannetobesureislosttomeforever。

WereIevenbyanyblessedchanceatlibertyagain——“

Elinorstoppedhimwithareproof。

“Well，“——hereplied——“oncemoregoodbye。I

shallnowgoawayandliveindreadofoneevent。”

“Whatdoyoumean？”

“Yoursister’smarriage。”

“Youareverywrong。Shecanneverbemorelosttoyouthansheisnow。”

“Butshewillbegainedbysomeoneelse。

Andifthatsomeoneshouldbetheveryhewhom，ofallothers，Icouldleastbear——butIwillnotstaytorobmyselfofallyourcompassionategoodwill，byshewingthatwhereIhavemostinjuredIcanleastforgive。

Goodbye，——Godblessyou！”

Andwiththesewords，healmostranoutoftheroom。

chapter45

CHAPTER45

Elinor，forsometimeafterhelefther，forsometimeevenafterthesoundofhiscarriagehaddiedaway，remainedtoomuchoppressedbyacrowdofideas，widelydifferinginthemselves，butofwhichsadnesswasthegeneralresult，tothinkevenofhersister。

Willoughby，he，whomonlyhalfanhouragoshehadabhorredasthemostworthlessofmen，Willoughby，inspiteofallhisfaults，excitedadegreeofcommiserationforthesufferingsproducedbythem，whichmadeherthinkofhimasnowseparatedforeverfromherfamily，withatenderness，aregret，ratherinproportion，asshesoonacknowledgedwithinherself——tohiswishesthantohismerits。Shefeltthathisinfluenceoverhermindwasheightenedbycircumstanceswhichoughtnotinreasontohaveweight;bythatpersonofuncommonattraction，thatopen，affectionate，andlivelymannerwhichitwasnomerittopossess;andbythatstillardentloveforMarianne，whichitwasnoteveninnocenttoindulge。

Butshefeltthatitwasso，long，longbeforeshecouldfeelhisinfluenceless。

WhenatlastshereturnedtotheunconsciousMarianne，shefoundherjustawaking，refreshedbysolongandsweetasleeptotheextentofherhopes。Elinor’sheartwasfull。

Thepast，thepresent，thefuture，Willoughby’svisit，Marianne’ssafety，andhermother’sexpectedarrival，threwheraltogetherintoanagitationofspiritswhichkeptoffeveryindicationoffatigue，andmadeheronlyfearfulofbetrayingherselftohersister。

Shortwasthetime，however，inwhichthatfearcouldaffecther，forwithinhalfanhourafterWilloughby’sleavingthehouse，shewasagaincalleddownstairsbythesoundofanothercarriage——Eagertosavehermotherfromeveryunnecessarymoment’shorriblesuspense，sheranimmediatelyintothehall，andreachedtheoutwarddoorjustintimetoreceiveandsupportherassheenteredit。

Mrs。Dashwood，whoseterrorastheydrewnearthehousehadproducedalmosttheconvictionofMarianne’sbeingnomore，hadnovoicetoinquireafterher，novoiceevenforElinor;butSHE，waitingneitherforsalutationnorinquiry，instantlygavethejoyfulrelief;——

andhermother，catchingitwithallherusualwarmth，wasinamomentasmuchovercomebyherhappiness，asshehadbeenbeforebyherfears。Shewassupportedintothedrawing-roombetweenherdaughterandherfriend;——

andthere，sheddingtearsofjoy，thoughstillunabletospeak，embracedElinoragainandagain，turningfromheratintervalstopressColonelBrandon’shand，withalookwhichspokeatoncehergratitude，andherconvictionofhissharingwithherselfintheblissofthemoment。

Hesharedit，however，inasilenceevengreaterthanherown。

AssoonasMrs。Dashwoodhadrecoveredherself，toseeMariannewasherfirstdesire;andintwominutesshewaswithherbelovedchild，rendereddearertoherthaneverbyabsence，unhappiness，anddanger。Elinor’sdelight，asshesawwhateachfeltinthemeeting，wasonlycheckedbyanapprehensionofitsrobbingMarianneoffarthersleep;——

butMrs。Dashwoodcouldbecalm，couldbeevenprudent，whenthelifeofachildwasatstake，andMarianne，satisfiedinknowinghermotherwasnearher，andconsciousofbeingtooweakforconversation，submittedreadilytothesilenceandquietprescribedbyeverynursearoundher。

Mrs。DashwoodWOULDsitupwithherallnight;andElinor，incompliancewithhermother’sentreaty，wenttobed。

Buttherest，whichonenightentirelysleepless，andmanyhoursofthemostwearinganxietyseemedtomakerequisite，waskeptoffbyirritationofspirits。

Willoughby，“poorWilloughby，“asshenowallowedherselftocallhim，wasconstantlyinherthoughts;shewouldnotbuthaveheardhisvindicationfortheworld，andnowblamed，nowacquittedherselfforhavingjudgedhimsoharshlybefore。Butherpromiseofrelatingittohersisterwasinvariablypainful。Shedreadedtheperformanceofit，dreadedwhatitseffectonMariannemightbe;

doubtedwhetheraftersuchanexplanationshecouldeverbehappywithanother;andforamomentwishedWilloughbyawidower。Then，rememberingColonelBrandon，reprovedherself，feltthattoHISsufferingsandhisconstancyfarmorethantohisrival’s，therewardofhersisterwasdue，andwishedanythingratherthanMrs。Willoughby’sdeath。

TheshockofColonelBrandon’serrandatBartonhadbeenmuchsoftenedtoMrs。Dashwoodbyherownpreviousalarm;

forsogreatwasheruneasinessaboutMarianne，thatshehadalreadydeterminedtosetoutforClevelandonthatveryday，withoutwaitingforanyfurtherintelligence，andhadsofarsettledherjourneybeforehisarrival，thattheCareyswerethenexpectedeverymomenttofetchMargaretaway，ashermotherwasunwillingtotakeherwheretheremightbeinfection。

Mariannecontinuedtomendeveryday，andthebrilliantcheerfulnessofMrs。Dashwood’slooksandspiritsprovedhertobe，assherepeatedlydeclaredherself，oneofthehappiestwomenintheworld。Elinorcouldnothearthedeclaration，norwitnessitsproofswithoutsometimeswonderingwhetherhermothereverrecollectedEdward。

ButMrs。Dashwood，trustingtothetemperateaccountofherowndisappointmentwhichElinorhadsenther，wasledawaybytheexuberanceofherjoytothinkonlyofwhatwouldincreaseit。Mariannewasrestoredtoherfromadangerinwhich，asshenowbegantofeel，herownmistakenjudgmentinencouragingtheunfortunateattachmenttoWilloughby，hadcontributedtoplaceher;——

andinherrecoveryshehadyetanothersourceofjoyunthoughtofbyElinor。Itwasthusimpartedtoher，assoonasanyopportunityofprivateconferencebetweenthemoccurred。

“Atlastwearealone。MyElinor，youdonotyetknowallmyhappiness。ColonelBrandonlovesMarianne。

Hehastoldmesohimself。”

Herdaughter，feelingbyturnsbothpleasedandpained，surprisedandnotsurprised，wasallsilentattention。

“Youareneverlikeme，dearElinor，orIshouldwonderatyourcomposurenow。HadIsatdowntowishforanypossiblegoodtomyfamily，IshouldhavefixedonColonelBrandon’smarryingoneofyouastheobjectmostdesirable。AndIbelieveMariannewillbethemosthappywithhimofthetwo。”

Elinorwashalfinclinedtoaskherreasonforthinkingso，becausesatisfiedthatnonefoundedonanimpartialconsiderationoftheirage，characters，orfeelings，couldbegiven;——buthermothermustalwaysbecarriedawaybyherimaginationonanyinterestingsubject，andthereforeinsteadofaninquiry，shepasseditoffwithasmile。

“Heopenedhiswholehearttomeyesterdayaswetravelled。

Itcameoutquiteunawares，quiteundesignedly。I，youmaywellbelieve，couldtalkofnothingbutmychild;——hecouldnotconcealhisdistress;Isawthatitequalledmyown，andheperhaps，thinkingthatmerefriendship，astheworldnowgoes，wouldnotjustifysowarmasympathy——orrather，notthinkingatall，Isuppose——givingwaytoirresistiblefeelings，mademeacquaintedwithhisearnest，tender，constant，affectionforMarianne。Hehaslovedher，myElinor，eversincethefirstmomentofseeingher。”

Here，however，Elinorperceived，——notthelanguage，nottheprofessionsofColonelBrandon，butthenaturalembellishmentsofhermother’sactivefancy，whichfashionedeverythingdelightfultoherasitchose。

“Hisregardforher，infinitelysurpassinganythingthatWilloughbyeverfeltorfeigned，asmuchmorewarm，asmoresincereorconstant——whicheverwearetocallit——

hassubsistedthroughalltheknowledgeofdearMarianne’sunhappyprepossessionforthatworthlessyoungman！——andwithoutselfishness——withoutencouragingahope！——couldhehaveseenherhappywithanother——Suchanoblemind！——

suchopenness，suchsincerity！——noonecanbedeceivedinHIM。”

“ColonelBrandon’scharacter，“saidElinor，“asanexcellentman，iswellestablished。”

“Iknowitis“——repliedhermotherseriously，“oraftersuchawarning，Ishouldbethelasttoencouragesuchaffection，oreventobepleasedbyit。Buthiscomingformeashedid，withsuchactive，suchreadyfriendship，isenoughtoprovehimoneoftheworthiestofmen。”

“Hischaracter，however，“answeredElinor，“doesnotrestonONEactofkindness，towhichhisaffectionforMarianne，werehumanityoutofthecase，wouldhavepromptedhim。

ToMrs。Jennings，totheMiddletons，hehasbeenlongandintimatelyknown;theyequallyloveandrespecthim;

andevenmyownknowledgeofhim，thoughlatelyacquired，isveryconsiderable;andsohighlydoIvalueandesteemhim，thatifMariannecanbehappywithhim，Ishallbeasreadyasyourselftothinkourconnectionthegreatestblessingtousintheworld。Whatanswerdidyougivehim？——Didyouallowhimtohope？”

“Oh！mylove，Icouldnotthentalkofhopetohimortomyself。Mariannemightatthatmomentbedying。

Buthedidnotaskforhopeorencouragement。Hiswasaninvoluntaryconfidence，anirrepressibleeffusiontoasoothingfriend——notanapplicationtoaparent。

YetafteratimeIDIDsay，foratfirstIwasquiteovercome——thatifshelived，asItrustedshemight，mygreatesthappinesswouldlieinpromotingtheirmarriage;

andsinceourarrival，sinceourdelightfulsecurity，Ihaverepeatedittohimmorefully，havegivenhimeveryencouragementinmypower。Time，averylittletime，Itellhim，willdoeverything;——Marianne’sheartisnottobewastedforeveronsuchamanasWilloughby——

Hisownmeritsmustsoonsecureit。”

“TojudgefromtheColonel’sspirits，however，youhavenotyetmadehimequallysanguine。”

“No——HethinksMarianne’saffectiontoodeeplyrootedforanychangeinitunderagreatlengthoftime，andevensupposingherheartagainfree，istoodiffidentofhimselftobelieve，thatwithsuchadifferenceofageanddispositionhecouldeverattachher。There，however，heisquitemistaken。Hisageisonlysomuchbeyondhersastobeanadvantage，astomakehischaracterandprinciplesfixed;——andhisdisposition，Iamwellconvinced，isexactlytheveryonetomakeyoursisterhappy。

Andhisperson，hismannerstoo，areallinhisfavour。