第9章
Goldsmith，authorofa“HistoryofEngland，“the“VicarofWakefield，“andmanydivertingpieces。YouwerebroughtalmostaninfanttohischambersinBrickCourt，andhegaveyousomesugar-
candy，forthedoctorwasalwaysgoodtochildren。ThatgentlemanwhowellnighsmotheredyoubysittingdownonyouasyoulayinachairasleepwasthelearnedMr。S。Johnson，whosehistoryof“Rasselas“youhaveneverread，mypoorsoul；andwhosetragedyof“Irene“Idon"tbelieveanymaninthesekingdomseverperused。
ThattipsyScotchgentlemanwhousedtocometothechamberssometimes，andatwhomeverybodylaughed，wroteamoreamusingbookthananyofthescholars，yourMr。BurkeandyourMr。Johnson，andyourDoctorGoldsmith。Yourfatheroftentookhimhomeinachairtohislodgings；andhasdoneasmuchforParsonSterneinBondStreet，thefamouswit。Ofcourse，mygoodcreature，youremembertheGordonRiots，andcryingNoPoperybeforeMr。Langdale"shouse，thePopishdistiller"s，and，thatbonnyfireofmyLordMansfield"sbooksinBloomsburySquare?Blessus，whataheapofilluminationsyouhaveseen！ForthegloriousvictoryovertheAmericansatBreed"sHill；forthepeacein1814，andthebeautifulChinesebridgeinSt。James"sPark；forthecoronationofhisMajesty，whomyourecollectasPrinceofWales，Goody，don"tyou?Yes；andyouwentinaprocessionoflaundressestopayyourrespectstohisgoodlady，theinjuredQueenofEngland，atBrandenburgHouse；andyourememberyourmothertoldyouhowshewastakentoseetheScotchlordsexecutedattheTower。Andasforyourgrandmother，shewasbornfiveyearsafterthebattleofMalplaquet，shewas；whereherpoorfatherwaskilled，fightinglikeaboldBritonfortheQueen。
Withthehelpofa“Wade"sChronology，“Icanmakeouteversoqueerahistoryforyou，mypooroldbody，andapedigreeasauthenticasmanyinthepeerage-books。
Peerage-booksandpedigrees?Whatdoessheknowaboutthem?
Battlesandvictories，treasons，kings，andbeheadings，literarygentlemen，andthelike，whathavetheyeverbeentoher?Granny，didyoueverhearofGeneralWolfe?Yourmothermayhaveseenhimembark，andyourfathermayhavecarriedamusketunderhim。YourgrandmothermayhavecriedhuzzaforMarlboroughbutwhatisthePrinceDuketoyou，anddidyouever，somuchasheartellofhisname?HowmanyhundredorthousandofyearshadthattoadlivedwhowasinthecoalatthedefunctExhibition?——andyethewasnotabitbetterinformedthantoadssevenoreighthundredyearsyounger。
“Don"ttalktomeyournonsenseaboutExhibitions，andPrinceDukes，andtoadsincoals，orcoalsintoads，orwhatisit?“saysgranny。
“IknowtherewasagoodQueenCharlotte，forsheleftmesnuff；anditcomfortsmeofanightwhenIlieawake。”
Tomethereissomethingverytouchinginthenotionofthatlittlepinchofcomfortdoledouttogranny，andgratefullyinhaledbyherinthedarkness。Don"tyourememberwhattraditionsthereusedtobeofchestsofplate，bulsesofdiamonds，lacesofinestimablevalue，sentoutofthecountryprivatelybytheoldQueen，toenrichcertainrelationsinM-ckl-nb-rgStr-l-tz?Notallthetreasurewent。Nonomnismoritur。Apooroldpalsiedthingatmidnightismadehappysometimesassheliftshershakingoldhandtohernose。
Glidingnoiselesslyamongthebedswhereliethepoorcreatureshuddledintheircheerlessdormitory，Ifancyanoldghostwithasnuff-boxthatdoesnotcreak。“There，Goody，takeofmyrappee。
Youwillnotsneeze，andIshallnotsay"Godblessyou。"ButyouwillthinkkindlyofoldQueenCharlotte，won"tyou?Ah！Ihadamanytroubles，amanytroubles。Iwasaprisoneralmostsomuchasyouare。Ihadtoeatboiledmuttoneveryday:entrenous，I
abominatedit。ButInevercomplained。Iswallowedit。Imadethebestofahardlife。Wehaveallourburdenstobear。Buthark！I
hearthecock-crow，andsnuffthemorningair。”Andwiththistheroyalghostvanishesupthechimney——iftherebeachimneyinthatdismalharem，wherepooroldTwoshoesandhercompanionspasstheirnights——theirdrearynights，theirrestlessnights，theircoldlongnights，sharedinwhatglumcompanionship，illuminedbywhatafeebletaper！
“DidIunderstandyou，mygoodTwoshoes，tosaythat，yourmotherwasseven-and-twentyyearsoldwhenyouwereborn，andthatshemarriedyouresteemedfatherwhensheherselfwastwenty-five?
1745，then，wasthedateofyourdearmother"sbirth。IdaresayherfatherwasabsentintheLowCountries，withhisRoyalHighnesstheDukeofCumberland，underwhomhehadthehonorofcarryingahalberdatthefamousengagementofFontenoy——orifnotthere，hemayhavebeenatPrestonPans，underGeneralSirJohnCope，whenthewildhighlandersbrokethroughallthelawsofdisciplineandtheEnglishlines；and，beingonthespot，didheseethefamousghostwhichdidn"tappeartoColonelGardineroftheDragoons?Mygoodcreature，isitpossibleyoudon"trememberthatDoctorSwift，SirRobertWalpole(myLordOrford，asyoujustlysay)，oldSarahMarlborough，andlittleMr。Pope，ofTwitnam，diedintheyearofyourbirth?Whatawretchedmemoryyouhave！What?haven"ttheyalibrary，andthecommonestbooksofreferenceattheoldconventofSaintLazarus，whereyoudwell?“
“ConventofSaintLazarus，PrinceWilliam，Dr。Swift，Atossa，andMr。Pope，ofTwitnam！Whatisthegentlemantalkingabout?“saysoldGoody，witha“Ho！ho！“andalaughlikeanoldparrot——youknowtheylivetobeasoldasMethuselah，parrotsdo，andaparrotofahundrediscomparativelyyoung(ho！ho！ho！)。Yes，andlikewisecarpslivetoanimmenseoldage。SomewhichFredericktheGreatfedatSansSouciaretherenow，withgreathumpsofbluemouldontheiroldbacks；andtheycouldtellallsortsofqueerstories，iftheychosetospeak——buttheyareverysilent，carpsare——oftheirnaturepeucommunicatives。Oh！whathasbeenthylonglife，oldGoody，butadoleofbreadandwaterandaperchonacage；adrearyswimroundandroundaLetheofapond?WhatareRossbachorJenatothosemouldyones，anddotheyknowitisagrandchildofEnglandwhobringsbreadtofeedthem?
No！ThoseSansSoucicarpsmaylivetobeathousandyearsoldandhavenothingtotellbutthatonedayislikeanother；andthehistoryoffriendGoodyTwoshoeshasnotmuchmorevarietythantheirs。Hardlabor，hardfare，hardbed，numbingcoldallnight，andgnawinghungermostdays。Thatisherlot。Isitlawfulinmyprayerstosay，“Thankheaven，Iamnotasoneofthese?“IfIwereeighty，wouldIliketofeelthehungeralwaysgnawing，gnawing?tohavetogetupandmakeabowwhenMr。Bumblethebeadleenteredthecommonroom?tohavetolistentoMissPrim，whocametogivemeherideasofthenextworld?IfIwereeighty，IownIshouldnotliketohavetosleepwithanothergentlemanofmyownage，gouty，abadsleeper，kickinginhisolddreams，andsnoring；tomarchdownmyvaleofyearsatwordofcommand，accommodatingmytotteringoldstepstothoseoftheotherprisonersinmydingy，hopelessoldgang；toholdoutatremblinghandforasickypittanceofgruel，andsay，“Thankyou，ma"am，“toMissPrim，whenshehasdonereadinghersermon。John！whenGoodyTwoshoescomesnextFriday，Idesireshemaynotbedisturbedbytheologicalcontroversies。Youhaveaveryfairvoice，andIheardyouandthemaidssingingahymnverysweetlytheothernight，andwasthankfulthatourhumblehouseholdshouldbeinsuchharmony。PooroldTwoshoesissooldandtoothlessandquaky，thatshecan"tsingabit；butdon"tbegivingyourselfairsoverher，becauseshecan"tsingandyoucan。Makehercomfortableatourkitchenhearth。Setthatoldkettletosingbyourhob。Warmheroldstomachwithnut-brownaleandatoastlaidinthefire。Bekindtothepooroldschool-girlofninety，whohashadleavetocomeoutforadayofChristmasholiday。ShalltherebemanymoreChristmasesforthee?Thinkoftheninetyshehasseenalready；thefour-scoreandtencold，cheerless，nippingNewYears！
Ifyouwereinherplace，wouldyouliketohavearemembranceofbetterearlydays，whenyouwereyoung，andhappy，andloving，perhaps；orwouldyouprefertohavenopastonwhichyourmindcouldrest?Abouttheyear1788，Goody，wereyourcheeksrosy，andyoureyesbright，anddidsomeyoungfellowinpowderandapigtaillookinthem?Wemaygrowold，buttoussomestoriesneverareold。Onasuddentheyriseup，notdead，butliving——notforgotten，butfreshlyremembered。Theeyesgleamonusastheyusedtodo。
Thedearvoicethrillsinourhearts。Theraptureofthemeeting，theterrible，terribleparting，againandagainthetragedyisactedover。Yesterday，inthestreet，Isawapairofeyessoliketwowhichusedtobrightenatmycomingonce，thatthewholepastcamebackasIwalkedlonely，intherushoftheStrand，andIwasyoungagaininthemidstofjoysandsorrows，alikesweetandsad，alikesacredandfondlyremembered。
IfItellataleoutofschool，willanyharmcometomyoldschool-
girl?Once，aladygaveherahalf-sovereign，whichwasasourceofgreatpainandanxietytoGoodyTwoshoes。Sheseweditawayinheroldstayssomewhere，thinkinghereatleastwasasafeinvestment——
(vestis——avest——aninvestment，——pardonme，thoupooroldthing，butIcannothelpthepleasantry)。Andwhatdoyouthink?AnotherpensionnaireoftheestablishmentcutthecoinoutofGoody"sstays——
ANOLDWOMANWHOWENTUPONTWOCRUTCHES！Faugh，theoldwitch！
What！Violenceamongstthesetoothless，tottering，trembling，feebleones?Robberyamongstthepenniless?DogscomingandsnatchingLazarus"scrumbsoutofhislap?Ah，howindignantGoodywasasshetoldthestory！TothatpondatPotsdamwherethecarpsliveforhundredsofhundredsofyears，withhunchesofbluemouldontheirback，IdaresaythelittlePrinceandPrincessofPreussen-Britanniencomesometimeswithcrumbsandcakestofeedthemouldyones。ThoseeyesmayhavegoggledfrombeneaththeweedsatNapoleon"sjack-boots:theyhaveseenFrederick"sleanshanksreflectedintheirpool；andperhapsMonsieurdeVoltairehasfedthem——andnow，foracrumbofbiscuittheywillfight，push，hustle，rob，squabble，gobble，relapsingintotheirtranquillitywhentheignoblestruggleisover。Sanssouci，indeed！Itismightywellwriting“Sanssouci“overthegate；butwhereisthegatethroughwhichCarehasnotslipped?Sheperchesontheshouldersofthesentryinthesentry-box:shewhisperstheportersleepinginhisarm-chair:sheglidesupthestaircase，andliesdownbetweenthekingandqueenintheirbed-royal:thisverynightIdaresayshewillperchuponpooroldGoodyTwoshoes"smeagrebolster，andwhisper，“Willthegentlemanandthoseladiesaskmeagain?No，no；
theywillforgetpooroldTwoshoes。”Goody！Forshameofyourself！
Donotbecynical。Donotmistrustyourfellow-creatures。What?
HastheChristmasmorningdawnedupontheeninetytimes?Forfour-
scoreandtenyearshasitbeenthylottototteronthisearth，hungryandobscure?Peaceandgood-willtothee，letussayatthisChristmasseason。Come，drink，eat，restawhileatourhearth，thoupooroldpilgrim！AndofthebreadwhichGod"sbountygivesus，I
pray，brotherreader，wemaynotforgettosetasideapartforthosenobleandsilentpoor，fromwhoseinnocenthandswarhastornthemeansoflabor。Enough！AsIhopeforbeefatChristmas，IvowanoteshallbesenttoSaintLazarusUnionHouse，inwhichMr。
RoundaboutrequeststhehonorofMrs。Twoshoes"scompanyonFriday，26thDecember。
AUTOURDEMONCHAPEAU。
NeverhaveIseenamorenobletragicface。Inthecentreoftheforeheadtherewasagreatfurrowofcare，towardswhichthebrowsrosepiteously。Whatadeepsolemngriefintheeyes！Theylookedblanklyattheobjectbeforethem，butthroughit，asitwere，andintothegriefbeyond。Inmomentsofpain，haveyounotlookedatsomeindifferentobjectso?Itminglesdumblywithyourgrief，andremainsafterwardsconnectedwithitinyourmind。Itmaybesomeindifferentthing——abookwhichyouwerereadingatthetimewhenyoureceivedherfarewellletter(howwellyouremembertheparagraphafterwards——theshapeofthewords，andtheirpositiononthepage)；thewordsyouwerewritingwhenyourmothercamein，andsaiditwasallover——shewasMARRIED——Emilymarried——tothatinsignificantlittlerivalatwhomyouhavelaughedahundredtimesinhercompany。Well，well；myfriendandreader，whoe"eryoube——
oldmanoryoung，wifeormaiden——youhavehadyourgrief-pang。
Boy，youhavelainawakethefirstnightatschool，andthoughtofhome。Worsestill，man，youhavepartedfromthedearoneswithburstingheart:and，lonelyboy，recallthebolsteringanunfeelingcomradegaveyou；and，lonelyman，justtornfromyourchildren——
theirlittletokensofaffectionyetinyourpocket——pacingthedeckateveninginthemidstoftheroaringocean，youcanrememberhowyouweretoldthatsupperwasready，andhowyouwentdowntothecabinandhadbrandy-and-waterandbiscuit。Yourememberthetasteofthem。Yes；forever。YoutookthemwhilstyouandyourGriefweresittingtogether，andyourGriefclutchedyouroundthesoul。
Serpent，howyouhavewrithedroundme，andbittenme。Remorse，Remembrance，&c。，comeinthenightseason，andIfeelyougnawing，gnawing！……Itellyouthatman"sfacewaslikeLaocoon"s(which，bytheway，Ialwaysthinkover-rated。TherealheadisatBrussels，attheDukeDaremberg"s，notatRome)。
Thatman！Whatman?ThatmanofwhomIsaidthathismagnificentcountenanceexhibitedthenoblesttragicwoe。HewasnotofEuropeanblood，hewashandsome，butnotofEuropeanbeauty。Hisfacewhite——notofaNorthernwhiteness；hiseyesprotrudingsomewhat，androllingintheirgrief。ThoseeyeshadseentheOrientsun，andhisbeakwastheeagle"s。Hislipswerefull。Thebeard，curlingroundthem，wasunkemptandtawny。Thelockswereofadeep，deepcopperyred。Thehands，swartandpowerful，accustomedtotheroughgraspofthewaresinwhichhedealt，seemedunusedtotheflimsyartificesofthebath。HecamefromtheWilderness，anditssandswereonhisrobe，hischeek，histatteredsandal，andthehardyfootitcovered。
Andhisgrief——whencecamehissorrow?Iwilltellyou。Heboreitinhishand。Hehadevidentlyjustconcludedthecompactbywhichitbecamehis。Hisbusinesswasthatofapurchaserofdomesticraiment。Atearlydawnnay，atwhathourwhenthecityisalive——dowenotallhearthenasalcryof“Clo?“InParis，HabitsGalons，Marchandd"habits，isthetwangingsignalwithwhichthewanderingmerchantmakeshispresenceknown。ItwasinParisIsawthisman。
WhereelsehaveInotseenhim?IntheRomanGhetto——attheGateofDavid，inhisfathers"onceimperialcity。ThemanImeanwasanitinerantvenderandpurchaserofwardrobes——whatyoucallan……
Enough！Youknowhisname。
Onhisleftshoulderhunghisbag；andheheldinthathandawhitehat，whichIamsurehehadjustpurchased，andwhichwasthecauseofthegriefwhichsmotehisnoblefeatures。OfcourseIcannotparticularizethesum，buthehadgiventoomuchforthathat。Hefelthemighthavegotthethingforlessmoney。Itwasnottheamount，Iamsure；itwastheprincipleinvolved。Hehadgivenfourpence(letussay)forthatwhichthreepencewouldhavepurchased。Hehadbeendone:andamanlyshamewasuponhim，thathe，whoseenergy，acuteness，experience，pointofhonor，shouldhavemadehimthevictorinanymercantileduelinwhichheshouldengage，hadbeenovercomebyaporter"swife，whoverylikelysoldhimtheoldhat，orbyastudentwhowastiredofit。Icanunderstandhisgrief。DoIseemtobespeakingofitinadisrespectfulorflippantway?Thenyoumistakeme。Hehadbeenoutwitted。Hehaddesired，coaxed，schemed，haggled，gotwhathewanted，andnowfoundhehadpaidtoomuchforhisbargain。Youdon"tsupposeIwouldaskyoutolaughatthatman"sgrief?Itisyou，clumsycynic，whoaredisposedtosneer，whilstitmaybetearsofgenuinesympathyaretricklingdownthisnoseofmine。Whatdoyoumeanbylaughing?Ifyousawawoundedsoldieronthefieldofbattle，wouldyoulaugh?Ifyousawaewerobbedofherlamb，wouldyoulaugh，youbrute?Itisyouwhoarethecynic，andhavenofeeling:andyousneerbecausethatgriefisunintelligibletoyouwhichtouchesmyfinersensibility。TheOLD-CLOTHES"-MANhadbeendefeatedinoneofthedailybattlesofhismostinteresting，chequered，adventurouslife。
Haveyoueverfiguredtoyourselfwhatsuchalifemustbe?Thepursuitandconquestoftwopencemustbethemosteagerandfascinatingofoccupations。Wemightallengageinthatbusinessifwewould。Donotwhist-players，forexample，toil，andthink，andlosetheirtemperoversixpennypoints?Theybringstudy，naturalgenius，longforethought，memory，andcarefulhistoricalexperiencetobearupontheirfavoritelabor。Don"ttellmethatitisthesixpennypoints，andfiveshillingstherub，whichkeepsthemforhoursovertheirpaintedpasteboard。Itisthedesiretoconquer。
Hourspassby。Nightglooms。Dawn，itmaybe，risesunheeded；andtheysitcallingforfreshcardsatthe“Portland，“orthe“Union，“
whilewaningcandlessplutterinthesockets，andlanguidwaiterssnoozeintheante-room。Solrises。Joneshaslostfourpounds:
Brownhaswontwo；Robinsonlurksawaytohisfamilyhouseand(mayhapindignant)Mrs。R。Hoursofevening，night，morning，havepassedawaywhilsttheyhavebeenwagingthissixpennybattle。WhatisthelossoffourpoundstoJones，thegainoftwotoBrown?B。
is，perhaps，sorichthattwopoundsmoreorlessareasnaughttohim；J。issohopelesslyinvolvedthattowinfourpoundscannotbenefithiscreditors，oralterhiscondition；buttheyplayforthatstake:theyputforwardtheirbestenergies:theyruff，finesse(whatarethetechnicalwords，andhowdoIknow?)Itisbutasixpennygameifyoulike；buttheywanttowinit。Soasregardsmyfriendyonderwiththehat。Hestakeshismoney:hewishestowinthegame，notthehatmerely。Iamnotpreparedtosaythatheisnotinspiredbyanobleambition。Caesarwishedtobefirstinavillage。Iffirstofahundredyokels，whynotfirstoftwo?Andmyfriendtheold-clothes"-manwishestowinhisgame，aswellastoturnhislittlesixpence。
Supposeinthegameoflife——anditisbutatwopennygameafterall——youareequallyeagerofwinning。Shallyoubeashamedofyourambition，orgloryinit?Therearegames，too，whicharebecomingtoparticularperiodsoflife。Irememberinthedaysofouryouth，whenmyfriendArthurBowlerwasaneminentcricketer。Slim，swift，strong，well-built，hepresentedagoodlyappearanceonthegroundinhisflanneluniform。Militastinonsinegloria，Bowlermyboy！
Hush！Wetellnotales。Mumistheword。YondercomesChancyhisson。NowChancyhissonhastakenthefieldandisfamousamongtheelevenofhisschool。Bowlersenior，withhiscapaciouswaistcoat，&c。，waddlingafteraball，wouldpresentanabsurdobject，whereasitdoestheeyesgoodtoseeBowlerjuniorscouringtheplain——ayoungexemplarofjoyfulhealth，vigor，activity。Theoldboywiselycontentshimselfwithamusementsmorebecominghisageandwaist；takeshissoberride；visitshisfarmsoberly——busieshimselfabouthispigs，hisploughing，hispeaches，orwhatnot！Verysmallroutinieramusementsinteresthim；and(thankgoodness！)natureprovidesverykindlyforkindly-disposedfogies。Werelishthosethingswhichwescornedinourlustyyouth。Iseetheyoungfolksofaneveningkindlingandglowingovertheirdeliciousnovels。I
lookupandwatchtheeagereyeflashingdownthepage，being，formypart，perfectlycontentedwithmytwaddlingoldvolumeof“Howel"sLetters，“ortheGentleman"sMagazine。IamactuallyarrivedatsuchacalmframeofmindthatIlikebatter-pudding。I
nevershouldhavebelieveditpossible；butitisso。Yetalittlewhile，andImayrelishwater-gruel。Itwillbetheageofmonlaitdepouleetmonbonnetdenuit。Andthen——thecottonextinguisherispulledovertheoldnoddle，andthelittleflameoflifeispoppedout。
Don"tyouknowelderlypeoplewhomakelearnednotesinArmyLists，Peerages，andthelike?Thisisthebatter-pudding，water-gruelofoldage。Theworn-outolddigestiondoesnotcareforstrongerfood。Formerlyitcouldswallowtwelve-hours"toughreading，anddigestanencyclopaedia。
IfIhadchildrentoeducate，Iwould，attenortwelveyearsofage，haveaprofessor，orprofessoress，ofwhistforthem，andcausethemtobewellgroundedinthatgreatandusefulgame。Youcannotlearnitwellwhenyouareold，anymorethanyoucanlearndancingorbilliards。Inourhouseathomeweyoungstersdidnotplaywhistbecauseweweredearobedientchildren，andtheelderssaidplayingatcardswas“awasteoftime。”Awasteoftime，mygoodpeople！
Allons！Whatdoelderlyhome-keepingpeopledoofanightafterdinner?Darbygetshisnewspaper；mydearJoanherMissionaryMagazineorhervolumeofCumming"sSermons——anddon"tyouknowwhatensues?OverthearmofDarby"sarm-chairthepaperflutterstothegroundunheeded，andheperformsthetrumpetobligatoquevoussavezonhisoldnose。MydearoldJoan"sheadnodsoverhersermon(awakeningthoughthedoctrinemaybe)。Ding，ding，ding:canthatbeteno"clock?Itistimetosendtheservantstobed，mydear——
andtobedmasterandmistressgotoo。Buttheyhavenotwastedtheirtimeplayingatcards。Oh，no！IbelongtoaClubwherethereiswhistofanight，andnotalittleamusingisittohearBrownspeakofThompson"splay，andviceversa。Butthereisoneman——Greatorexletuscallhim——whoistheacknowledgedcaptainandprimusofallthewhist-players。Weallsecretlyadmirehim。I，formypart，watchhiminprivatelife，hearkentowhathesays，notewhatheordersfordinner，andhavethatfeelingofaweforhimthatIusedtohaveasaboyforthecockoftheschool。Notplayatwhist?“Quelletristevieillessevousvouspreparez！“werethewordsofthegreatandgoodBishopofAutun。Ican"t。Itistoolatenow。Toolate！toolate！Ah！humiliatingconfession！Thatjoymighthavebeenclutched，butthelife-streamhassweptusbyit——theswiftlife-streamrushingtothenearingsea。Toolate！toolate！Twentystonemyboy！whenyoureadinthepapers“Valseadeuxtemps，“andallthefashionabledancestaughttoadultsby“MissLightfoots，“don"tyoufeelthatyouwouldliketogoinandlearn?
Ah，itistoolate！Youhavepassedthechoreas，MasterTwentystone，andtheyoungpeoplearedancingwithoutyou。
Idon"tbelievemuchofwhatmyLordByronthepoetsays；butwhenhewrote，“Soforagoodoldgentlemanlyvice，IthinkIshallputupwithavarice，“Ithinkhislordshipmeantwhathewrote，andifhepractisedwhathepreached，shallnotquarrelwithhim。Asanoccupationindecliningyears，IdeclareIthinksavingisuseful，amusing，andnotunbecoming。Itmustbeaperpetualamusement。Itisagamethatcanbeplayedbyday，bynight，athomeandabroad，andatwhichyoumustwininthelongrun。Iamtiredandwantacab。Thefaretomyhouse，say，istwoshillings。Thecabmanwillnaturallywanthalfacrown。Ipulloutmybook。Ishowhimthedistanceisexactlythreemilesandfifteenhundredandninetyyards。Iofferhimmycard——mywinningcard。Asheretireswiththetwoshillings，blaspheminginwardly，everycurseisacomplimenttomyskill。Ihaveplayedhimandbeathim；andasixpenceismyspoilandjustreward。Thisisagame，bytheway，whichwomenplayfarmorecleverlythanwedo。Butwhataninterestitimpartstolife！DuringthewholedrivehomeIknowIshallhavemygameatthejourney"send；amsureofmyhand，andshallbeatmyadversary。
OrIcanplayinanotherway。Iwon"thaveacabatall，Iwillwaitfortheomnibus:Iwillbeoneofthedampfourteeninthatsteamingvehicle。Iwillwaitaboutintherainforanhour，and"busafter"busshallpass，butIwillnotbebeat。IWILLhaveaplace，andgetitatlength，withmybootswetthrough，andanumbrelladrippingbetweenmylegs。Ihavearheumatism，acold，asorethroat，asulkyevening，——adoctor"sbillto-morrowperhaps?
Yes，butIhavewonmygame，andamgainerofashillingonthisrubber。
Ifyouplaythisgameallthroughlifeitiswonderfulwhatdailyinterestithas，andamusingoccupation。Forinstance，mywifegoestosleepafterdinneroverhervolumeofsermons。Assoonasthedearsoulissoundasleep，Iadvancesoftlyandpuffouthercandle。
Herpuredreamswillbeallthehappierwithoutthatlight；and，sayshesleepsanhour，thereisapennygained。
Asforclothes，parbleu！thereisnotmuchmoneytobesavedinclothes，forthefactis，asamanadvancesinlife——ashebecomesanAncientBriton(markthepleasantry)——hegoeswithoutclothes。
Whenmytailorproposessomethinginthewayofachangeofraiment，Ilaughinhisface。Mybluecoatandbrassbuttonswilllastthesetenyears。Itisseedy?Whatthen?Idon"twanttocharmanybodyinparticular。Yousaythatmyclothesareshabby?WhatdoIcare?
WhenIwishedtolookwellinsomebody"seyes，themattermayhavebeendifferent。Butnow，whenIreceivemybillof10L。(letussay)attheyear"send，andcontrastitwitholdtailors"
reckonings，IfeelthatIhaveplayedthegamewithmastertailor，andbeathim；andmyoldclothesareatokenofthevictory。
Idonotliketogiveservantsboard-wages，thoughtheyarecheaperthanhouseholdbills:butIknowtheysaveoutofboard-wages，andsobeatme。Thisshowsthatitisnotthemoneybutthegamewhichinterestsme。Soaboutwine。Ihaveitgoodanddear。Iwilltroubleyoutotellmewheretogetitgoodandcheap。YoumayaswellgivemetheaddressofashopwhereIcanbuymeatforfourpenceapound，orsovereignsforfifteenshillingsapiece。Atthegameofauctions，docks，shywine-merchants，dependonitthereisnowinning；andIwouldassoonthinkofbuyingjewelleryatanauctioninFleetStreetasofpurchasingwinefromoneofyourdreadfulneedywine-agentssuchasinfesteveryman"sdoor。Grudgemyselfgoodwine?Assoongrudgemyhorsecorn。Merci！thatwouldbeaverylosinggameindeed，andyourhumbleservanthasnorelishforsuch。
Butintheverypursuitofsavingtheremustbeahundredharmlessdelightsandpleasureswhichwewhoarecarelessnecessarilyforego。
Whatdoyouknowaboutthenaturalhistoryofyourhousehold?Uponyourhonorandconscience，doyouknowthepriceofapoundofbutter?Canyousaywhatsugarcosts，andhowmuchyourfamilyconsumesandoughttoconsume?Howmuchlarddoyouuseinyourhouse?AsIthinkonthesesubjectsIownIhangdowntheheadofshame。Isupposeforamomentthatyou，whoarereadingthis，areamiddle-agedgentleman，andpaterfamilias。Canyouanswertheabovequestions?Youknow，sir，youcannot。Nowturnround，laydownthebook，andsuddenlyaskMrs。JonesandyourdaughtersifTHEYcananswer?Theycannot。Theylookatoneanother。Theypretendtheycananswer。Theycantellyoutheplotandprincipalcharactersofthelastnovel。Someofthemknowsomethingabouthistory，geology，andsoforth。Butofthenaturalhistoryofhome——Nichts，andforshameonyouall！Honnissoyez！Forshameonyou?forshameonus！
IntheearlymorningIhearasortofcallorjodelundermywindow:
andknow"tisthematutinalmilkmanleavinghiscanatmygate。O
householdgods！haveIlivedalltheseyearsanddon"tknowthepriceorthequantityofthemilkwhichisdeliveredinthatcan?
Whydon"tIknow?AsIlive，ifIlivetillto-morrowmorning，assoonasIhearthecallofLactantius，Iwilldashoutuponhim。
Howmanycows?Howmuchmilk，onanaverage，alltheyearround?
Whatrent?Whatcostoffoodanddairyservants?Whatlossofanimals，andaveragecostofpurchase?IfIinterestedmyselfproperlyaboutmypint(orhogshead，whateveritbe)ofmilk，allthisknowledgewouldensue；allthisadditionalinterestinlife。
Whatisthistalkofmyfriend，Mr。Lewes，aboutobjectsattheseaside，andsoforth?*Objectsattheseaside?Objectsatthearea-bell:objectsbeforemynose:objectswhichthebutcherbringsmeinhistray:whichthecookdressesandputsdownbeforeme，andoverwhichIsaygrace！Mydailylifeissurroundedwithobjectswhichoughttointerestme。ThepuddingIeat(orrefuse，thatisneitherherenorthere；and，betweenourselves，whatIhavesaidaboutbatter-puddingmaybetakencumgrano——wearenotcometothatyet，exceptforthesakeofargumentorillustration)——thepudding，Isay，onmyplate，theeggsthatmadeit，thefirethatcookedit，thetableclothonwhichitislaid，andsoforth——areeachandalloftheseobjectsaknowledgeofwhichImayacquire——aknowledgeofthecostandproductionofwhichImightadvantageouslylearn?TothemanwhoDOESknowthesethings，Isaytheinterestoflifeisprodigiouslyincreased。Themilkmanbecomes，astudytohim；thebakerabeinghecuriouslyandtenderlyexamines。Go，Lewes，andclapahideoussea-anemoneintoaglass:Iwillputacabmanundermine，andmakeavivisectionofabutcher。OLares，Penates，andgentlehouseholdgods，teachmetosympathizewithallthatcomeswithinmydoors！Givemeaninterestinthebutcher"sbook。Letmelookforwardtotheensuingnumberofthegrocer"saccountwitheagerness。Itseemsungratefultomykitchen-chimneynottoknowthecostofsweepingit；andItrustthatmanyamanwhoreadsthis，andmusesonit，willfeel，likethewriter，ashamedofhimself，andhangdownhisheadhumbly。
*“SeasideStudies。”ByG。H。Lewes。
Now，iftothishouseholdgameyoucouldaddalittlemoneyinterest，theamusementwouldbeincreasedfarbeyondthemeremoneyvalue，asagameatcardsforsixpenceisbetterthanarubberfornothing。
Ifyoucaninterestyourselfaboutsixpence，alllifeisinvestedwithanewexcitement。Fromsunrisetosleepingyoucanalwaysbeplayingthatgame——withbutcher，baker，coal-merchant，cabman，omnibusman——nay，diamondmerchantandstockbroker。Youcanbargainforaguineaoverthepriceofadiamondnecklace，orforasixteenthpercentinatransactionattheStockExchange。Weallknowmenwhohavethisfacultywhoarenotungenerouswiththeirmoney。Theygiveitongreatoccasions。TheyaremoreabletohelpthanyouandIwhospendours，andsaytopoorProdigalwhocomestousoutatelbow，“Mydearfellow，Ishouldhavebeendelighted:butIhavealreadyanticipatedmyquarter，andamgoingtoaskScrewbyifhecandoanythingforme。”
Inthisdelightful，wholesome，ever-noveltwopennygame，thereisadangerofexcess，asthereisineveryotherpastimeoroccupationoflife。Ifyougrowtooeagerforyourtwopence，theacquisitionorthelossofitmayaffectyourpeaceofmind，andpeaceofmindisbetterthananyamountoftwopences。Myfriend，theold-
clothes"-man，whoseagoniesoverthehathaveledtothisramblingdisquisition，has，Iverymuchfear，byatooeagerpursuitofsmallprofits，disturbedtheequanimityofamindthatoughttobeeasyandhappy。“HadIstoodout，“hethinks，“Imighthavehadthehatforthreepence，“andhedoubtswhether，havinggivenfourpenceforit，hewillevergetbackhismoney。MygoodShadrach，ifyougothroughlifepassionatelydeploringtheirrevocable，andallowyesterday"stransactionstoembitterthecheerfulnessofto-dayandto-morrow——asliefwalkdowntotheSeine，sousein，hats，body，clothes-bagandall，andputanendtoyoursorrowandsordidcares。
BeforeandsinceMr。FranklinwrotehisprettyapologueoftheWhistlehavewenotallmadebargainsofwhichwerepented，andcovetedandacquiredobjectsforwhichwehavepaidtoodearly！Whohasnotpurchasedhishatinsomemarketorother?ThereisGeneralM"Clellan"scockedhatforexample:Idaresayhewaseagerenoughtowearit，andhehaslearnedthatitisbynomeanscheerfulwear。
TherewerethemilitarybeaversofMesseigneursofOrleans:*theyworethemgallantlyinthefaceofbattle；butIsuspecttheyweregladenoughtopitchthemintotheJamesRiverandcomehomeinmufti。Ah，mesamis！Achacunsonschakot！Iwaslookingatabishoptheotherday，andthinking，“Myrightreverendlord，thatbroad-brimandrosettemustbindyourgreatbroadforeheadverytightly，andgiveyoumanyaheadache。Agoodeasywideawakewerebetterforyou，andIwouldliketoseethathonestfacewithacutty-pipeinthemiddleofit。”ThereismyLordMayor。Myoncedearlord，mykindfriend，whenyourtwoyears"reignwasover，didnotyoujumpforjoyandflingyourchapeau-brasoutofwindow:andhasn"tthathatcostyouaprettybitofmoney?There，inasplendidtravellingchariot，inthesweetestbonnet，alltrimmedwithorange-blossomsandChantillylace，sitsmyLadyRosa，witholdLordSnowdenbyherside。Ah，Rosa！whatapricehaveyoupaidforthathatwhichyouwear；andisyourladyship"scoronetnotpurchasedtoodear！Enoughofhats。Sir，orMadam，Itakeoffmine，andsaluteyouwithprofoundrespect。
*TwocadetsoftheHouseofOrleanswhoservedasVolunteersunderGeneralM"ClellaninhiscampaignagainstRichmond。
ONALEXANDRINES。*
ALETTERTOSOMECOUNTRYCOUSINS。
*Thispaper，itisalmostneedlesstosay，waswrittenjustafterthemarriageofthePrinceandPrincessofWalesinMarch，1863。
DEARCOUSINS，——BepleasedtoreceiveherewithapacketofMayall"sphotographsandcopiesofIllustratedNews，IllustratedTimes，LondonReview，Queen，andObserver，eachcontaininganaccountofthenotablefestivitiesofthepastweek。If，besidestheseremembrancesofhome，youhaveamindtoreadaletterfromanoldfriend，beholdhereitis。WhenIwasatschool，havingleftmyparentsinIndia，agood-naturedcaptainorcolonelwouldcomesometimesandseeusIndianboys，andtalktousaboutpapaandmamma，andgiveuscoinsoftherealm，andwritetoourparents，andsay，“IdroveoveryesterdayandsawTommyatDr。Birch"s。Itookhimtothe"George，"andgavehimadinner。Hisappetiteisfine。
Hestatesthatheisreading"CorneliusNepos，"withwhichheismuchinterested。Hismastersreport，“&c。AndthoughDr。Birchwrotebythesamemailalonger，fuller，andofficialstatement，I
havenodoubtthedistantparentspreferredthefriend"sletter，withitsartless，possiblyungrammatical，accountoftheirlittledarling。
IhaveseentheyoungheirofBritain。Theseeyeshavebeheldhimandhisbride，onSaturdayinPallMall，andonTuesdayinthenaveofSt。George"sChapelatWindsor，whentheyoungPrincessAlexandraofDenmarkpassedbywithherbloomingprocessionofbridesmaids；
andhalfanhourlater，whenthePrincessofWalescameforthfromthechapel，herhusbandbyhersiderobedinthepurplemantleofthefamousOrderwhichhisforefatherestablishedherefivehundredyearsago。Weweretoseeheryetonceagain，whenheropencarriagepassedoutoftheCastlegatetothestationofthenearrailwaywhichwastoconveyhertoSouthampton。
Sincewomankindexisted，hasanywomaneverhadsuchagreeting?Attenhours"distance，thereisacityfarmoremagnificentthanours。
WitheveryrespectforKensingtonturnpike，IownthattheArcdel"EtoileatParisisamuchfinerentrancetoanimperialcapital。
Inourblack，orderless，zigzagstreets，wecanshownothingtocomparewiththemagnificentarrayoftheRuedeRivoli，thatenormousregimentofstonestretchingforfivemilesandpresentingarmsbeforetheTuileries。ThinkofthelateFleetPrisonandWaithman"sObelisk，andofthePlacedelaConcordeandtheLuxorStone！“ThefinestsiteinEurope，“asTrafalgarSquarehasbeencalledbysomeobstinateBritishoptimist，isdisfiguredbytrophies，fountains，columns，andstatuessopuerile，disorderly，andhideousthataloveroftheartsmusthangtheheadofshameashepasses，toseeourdearoldqueencityarrayingherselfsoabsurdly；butwhenallissaidanddone，wecanshowoneortwoofthegreatestsightsintheworld。IdoubtifanyRomanfestivalwasasvastorstrikingastheDerbyday，orifanyImperialtriumphcouldshowsuchaprodigiousmusteroffaithfulpeopleasouryoungPrincesssawonSaturday，whenthenationturnedouttogreether。
Thecalculatorsaresquabblingaboutthenumbersofhundredsofthousands，ofmillions，whocameforthtoseeherandbidherwelcome。Imaginebeaconsflaming，rocketsblazing，yardsmanned，shipsandfortssalutingwiththeirthunder，everysteamerandvessel，everytownandvillagefromRamsgatetoGravesend，swarmingwithhappygratulation；younggirlswithflowers，scatteringrosesbeforeher；staidcitizensandaldermenpushingandsqueezingandpantingtomakethespeech，andbowtheknee，andbidherwelcome！
Whoisthiswhoishonoredwithsuchaprodigioustriumph，andreceivedwithawelcomesoastonishing?Ayearagowehadneverheardofher。Ithinkaboutherpedigreeandfamilynotafewofusareinthedarkstill，andIown，formypart，tobemuchpuzzledbytheallusionsofnewspapergenealogistsandbardsandskaldstoVikings，Berserkers，andsoforth。ButitwouldbeinterestingtoknowhowmanyhundredsofthousandsofphotographsofthefairbrightfacehavebythistimemadeitbelovedandfamiliarinBritishhomes。ThinkofallthequietcountrynooksfromLand"sEndtoCaithness，wherekindeyeshaveglancedatit。Thefarmerbringsithomefrommarket；thecuratefromhisvisittotheCathedraltown；therusticfolkpeeratitinthelittlevillageshop-window；
thesquire"schildrengazeonitroundthedrawing-roomtable:everyeyethatbeholdsitlookstenderlyonitsbrightbeautyandsweetartlessgrace，andyoungandoldprayGodblessher。Wehaveanelderlyfriend，(acertainGoodyTwoshoes，)whoinhabits，withmanyotheroldladies，theUnionHouseoftheparishofSt。LazarusinSoho。Oneofyourcousinsfromthishousewenttoseeher，andfoundGoodyandhercompanioncronesallinaflutterofexcitementaboutthemarriage。Thewhitewashedwallsoftheirbleakdormitorywereornamentedwithprintsoutoftheillustratedjournals，andhungwithfestoonsandtrue-lovers"knotsoftapeandcoloredpaper；
andtheoldbodieshadhadagooddinner，andtheoldtongueswerechirpingandclackingaway，alleager，interested，sympathizing；andoneveryelderlyandrheumaticGoody，whoisobligedtokeepherbed，(andhas，Itrust，anexaggeratedideaofthecaresattendingonroyalty，)said，“Porething，porething！Ipityher。”Yes，eveninthatdimplacetherewasalittlebrightnessandaquaveringhuzza，acontributionofamitesubscribedbythosedozenpooroldwidowstothetreasureofloyaltywithwhichthenationendowsthePrince"sbride。
Threehundredyearsago，whenourdreadSovereignLadyElizabethcametotakepossessionofherrealmandcapitalcity，Holingshed，ifyouplease(whosepleasinghistoryofcourseyoucarryaboutwithyou)，relatesinhisfourthvolumefolio，that——“Athirentringthecitie，shewasofthepeoplereceivedmaruellousintierlie，asappearedbytheassemblies，praiers，welcommings，cries，andallothersigneswhicharguedawoonderfullearnestloue:“andatvarioushalting-placesontheroyalprogresschildrenhabitedlikeangelsappearedoutofallegoricedificesandspokeversestoher——
“Welcome，OQueen，asmuchasheartcanthink，Welcomeagain，asmuchastonguecantell，Welcometojoyoustonguesandheartsthatwillnotshrink。
Godtheepreserve，wepray，andwishtheeeverwell！
OurnewPrincess，youmaybesure，hasalsohadherAlexandrines，andmanyminstrelshavegonebeforehersingingherpraises。Mr。
Tupper，whobeginsinverygreatforceandstrength，andwhoproposestogivehernolessthaneighthundredthousandwelcomesinthefirsttwentylinesofhisode，isnotsatisfiedwiththismostliberalamountofacclamation，butproposesattheendofhispoemastillmoremagnificentsubscription。Thuswebegin，“Ahundredthousandwelcomes，ahundredthousandwelcomes。”(Inmycopythefiguresareinthewell-knownArabicnumerals，butletushavethenumbersliterallyaccurate:)——
“Ahundredthousandwelcomes！
Ahundredthousandwelcomes！
Andahundredthousandmore！
OhappyheartofEngland，Shoutaloudandsing，laud，Asnolandsangbefore；
AndletthepaeanssoarAndringfromshoretoshore，Ahundredthousandwelcomes，Andahundredthousandmore；
AndletthecannonsroarThejoy-stunnedcityo"er。
AndletthesteepleschimeitAhundredthousandwelcomesAndahundredthousandmore；
AndletthepeoplerhymeitFromneighbor"sdoortodoor，Fromeveryman"sheart"score，AhundredthousandwelcomesAndahundredthousandmore。”
Thiscontribution，intwentynotlonglines，of900，000(sayninehundredthousand)welcomesishandsomeindeed；andshowsthatwhenourbardisinclinedtobeliberal，hedoesnotlooktothecost。
Butwhatisasumof900，000tohisfurtherproposal?——
“Oletallthesedeclareit，Letmilesofshoutingswearit，Inalltheyearsofyore，Unparalleledbefore！
Andthou，mostwelcomeWand"rerAcrosstheNorthernWater，OurEngland"sALEXANDRA，Ourdearadopteddaughter——
Laytothineheart，connedo"erando"er，Infutureyearsrememberedwell，ThemagicfervorofthisspellThatshakesthelandfromshoretoshore，Andmakesallheartsandeyesbrimo"er；
Ourhundredthousandwelcomes，Ourfiftymillionwelcomes，Andahundredmillionmore！“
Herewehave，besidesthemostliberalprevioussubscription，afurthercallonthepublicfornolessthanonehundredandfiftymilliononehundredthousandwelcomesforherRoyalHighness。Howmuchisthisperheadforallofusinthethreekingdoms?Notabovefivewelcomesapiece，andIamsuremanyofushavegivenmorethanfivehurrahstothefairyoungPrincess。
Eachmansingsaccordingtohisvoice，andgivesinproportiontohismeans。ThegunsatSheerness“fromtheiradamantinelips“
(whichhadspokeninquarrelsomeoldtimesaverydifferentlanguage，)roaredahundredthunderingwelcomestothefairDane。
ThemaidensofEnglandstrewedrosesbeforeherfeetatGravesendwhenshelanded。Mr。Tupper，withthemillionandoddwelcomes，maybecomparedtothethunderingfleet；Mr。Chorley"ssong，tothefloweretsscatteredonherRoyalHighness"shappyandcarpetedpath:——
“Blessingsonthatfairface！
SafeontheshoreOfherhome-dwellingplace，Strangernomore。
Love，fromherhouseholdshrine，Keepsorrowfar！
Mayforherhawthorntwine，Junebringsweeteglantine，Autumn，thegoldenvine，DearNorthernStar！“
HawthornforMay，eglantineforJune，andinautumnalittletassofthegoldenvineforourNorthernStar。IamsurenoonewillgrudgethePrincessthesesimpleenjoyments，andoftheproduceofthelast-namedpleasingplant，Iwonderhowmanybumpersweredrunktoherhealthonthehappydayofherbridal?AsfortheLaureate"sverses，IwouldrespectfullylikenhisHighnesstoagiantshowingabeacontorchon“awindyheadland。”Hisflaringtorchisapine-
tree，tobesure，whichnobodycanwieldbuthimself。Hewavesit:
andfourtimesinthemidnightheshoutsmightily，“Alexandra！“andthePonticpineiswhirledintotheoceanandEnceladusgoeshome。
Whosemuse，whosecornemuse，soundswithsuchplaintivesweetnessfromArthur"sSeat，whileEdinburghandMusselburghlieraptindelight，andthemermaidscomeflappinguptoLeithshoretoheartheexquisitemusic?SweeterpiperEdinaknowsnotthanAytoun，theBardoftheCavaliers，whohasgiveninhisfrankadhesiontothereigningdynasty。Whenamostbeautiful，celebratedandunfortunateprincesswhosememorytheProfessorloves——whenMary，wifeofFrancistheSecond，KingofFrance，andbyherownrightproclaimedQueenofScotlandandEngland(poorsoul！)，enteredPariswithheryoungbridegroom，goodPeterRonsardwroteofher——
“Toiquiasveul"excellencedecelleQuirendlecieldel"Escosseenvieux，Dyhardiment，contentezvousmesyeux，Vousneverrezjamaischoseplusbelle。”*
*QuotedinMignet"s“LifeofMary。”
“Vousneverrezjamaischoseplusbelle。”HereisanAlexandrinewrittenthreehundredyearsago，assimpleasbonjour。ProfessorAytounismoreornate。Afterelegantlycomplimentingthespring，andadescriptionofherRoyalHighness"swell-knownancestorsthe“Berserkers，“heburstsforth——
“TheRoseofDenmarkcomes，theRoyalBride！
OloveliestRose！ourparagonandpride——
ChoiceofthePrincewhomEnglandholdssodear——
WhathomageshallwepayToonewhohasnopeer?
WhatcanthebardorwilderedminstrelsayMorethanthepeasantwhoonbendedkneeBreathesfromhisheartanearnestprayerforthee?
Wordsarenotfair，ifthattheywouldexpressIsfairerstill；soloversindismayStandallabashedbeforethatlovelinessTheyworshipmost，butfindnowordstopray。
Toosweetforincense！(bravo！)Takeourlovesinstead——
Mostfreely，truly，anddevoutlygiven；
Ourprayerforblessingsonthatgentlehead，ForearthlyhappinessandrestinHeaven！
Mayneversorrowdimthosedove-likeeyes，ButpeaceaspureasreignedinParadise，Calmanduntaintedoncreation"seve，Attendtheestill！Mayholyangels，“&c。
Thisisallverywell，mydearcountrycousins。Butwillyousay“Amen“tothisprayer?Iwon"t。AssuredlyourfairPrincesswillshedmanytearsoutofthe“dovelikeeyes，“ortheheartwillbelittleworth。Isshetoknownoparting，nocare，noanxiouslonging，notenderwatchesbythesick，todeplorenofriendsandkindred，andfeelnogrief?Heavenforbid！Whenabardorwilderedminstrelwritesso，bestaccepthisownconfession，thatheislosinghishead。OnthedayofherentranceintoLondonwholookedmorebrightandhappythanthePrincess?Onthedayofthemarriage，thefairfaceworeitsmarksofcarealready，andlookedoutquitegrave，andfrightenedalmost，underthewreathsandlaceandorange-flowers。Wouldyouhavehadherfeelnotremor?A
maidenonthebridegroom"sthreshold，aPrincessleduptothestepsofathrone?Ithinkherpalloranddoubtbecameheraswellashersmiles。That，Icantellyou，wasOURvotewhosatinX
compartment，letussay，inthenaveofSt。George"sChapelatWindsor，andsawapartofoneofthebrightestceremonieseverperformedthere。
MydearcousinMary，youhaveanaccountofthedresses；andI
promiseyoutherewereprincessesbesidesthebridewhomitdidtheeyesgoodtobehold。Aroundthebridesailedabevyofyoungcreaturessofair，white，andgracefulthatIthoughtofthosefairy-talebeautieswhoaresometimesprincesses，andsometimeswhiteswans。TheRoyalPrincessesandtheRoyalKnightsoftheGartersweptbyinprodigiousrobesandtrainsofpurplevelvet，thirtyshillingsayard，mydear，notofcourseincludingthelining，which，Ihavenodoubt，wasoftherichestsatin，orthatcostly“miniver“whichweusedtoreadaboutinpoorJerrold"swritings。Theyoungprinceswerehabitedinkilts；andbythesideofthePrincessRoyaltrottedsuchalittleweesolemnHighlander！
HeistheyoungheirandchiefofthefamousclanofBrandenburg。
HiseyrieisamongsttheEagles，andIpraynoharmmaybefallthedearlittlechieftain。
Theheraldsintheirtabardsweremarvelloustobehold，andanodfromRougeCroixgavemethekeenestgratification。ItriedtocatchGarter"seye，buteitherIcouldn"torhewouldn"t。Inhisrobes，heislikeoneoftheThreeKingsinoldmissalilluminations。
Goldstickinwaitingisevenmoresplendid。Withhisgoldrodandrobesandtrappingsofmanycolors，helookslikearoyalenchanter，andasifhehadraisedupallthissceneofglamourbyawaveofhisglitteringwand。Thesilvertrumpeterswearsuchquaintcaps，asthoseIhavehumblytriedtodepictontheplayfulheadsofchildren。Behindthetrumpeterscameadrum-bearer，onwhosebackagold-laceddrummerdrubbedhismarch。
Whenthesilverclarionshadblown，andunderaclearchorusofwhite-robedchildrenchantingroundtheorgan，thenobleprocessionpassedintothechapel，andwashiddenfromoursightforawhile，therewassilence，orfromtheinnerchapeleversofaintahum。
Thenhymnsarose，andinthelullweknewthatprayerswerebeingsaid，andthesacredriteperformedwhichjoinedAlbertEdwardtoAlexandrahiswife。Iamsureheartyprayerswereofferedoutsidethegateaswellaswithinforthatprincelyyoungpair，andfortheirMotherandQueen。Thepeace，thefreedom，thehappiness，theorderwhichherruleguarantees，arepartofmybirthrightasanEnglishman，andIblessGodformyshare。WhereelseshallIfindsuchlibertyofaction，thought，speech，orlawswhichprotectmesowell?Herpartofhercompactwithherpeople，whatsovereigneverbetterperformed?Ifourssitsapartfromthefestivitiesoftheday，itisbecauseshesuffersfromagriefsorecentthattheloyalheartcannotmasteritasyet，andremainstreuundfesttoabelovedmemory。Apartofthemusicwhichcelebratestheday"sservicewascomposedbythehusbandwhoisgonetotheplacewherethejustandpureoflifemeettherewardpromisedbytheFatherofallofustogoodandfaithfulservantswhohavewelldoneherebelow。Asthisonegivesinhisaccount，surelywemayrememberhowthePrincewasthefriendofallpeacefulartsandlearning；howhewastrueandfastalwaystoduty，home，honor；how，throughalifeofcomplicatedtrials，hewassagacious，righteous，activeandself-
denying。Andaswetraceintheyoungfacesofhismanychildrenthefather"sfeaturesandlikeness，whatEnglishmanwillnotpraythat，theymayhaveinheritedalsosomeofthegreatqualitieswhichwonforthePrinceConsorttheloveandrespectofourcountry?
Thepaperstellushow，onthenightofthemarriageofthePrinceofWales，alloverEnglandandScotlandilluminationsweremade，thepoorandchildrenwerefeasted，andinvillageandcitythousandsofkindlyschemesweredevisedtomarkthenationalhappinessandsympathy。“ThebonfireonCoptpointatFolkestonewasseeninFrance，“theTelegraphsays，“moreclearlythaneventheFrenchmarinelightscouldbeseenatFolkestone。”Longmaythefirecontinuetoburn！ThereareEuropeancoasts(andinlandplaces)
wherethelibertylighthasbeenextinguished，orissolowthatyoucan"tseetoreadbyit——therearegreatAtlanticshoreswhereitflickersandsmokesverygloomily。Letusbethankfultothehonestguardiansofours，andforthekindskyunderwhichitburnsbrightandsteady。
ONAMEDALOFGEORGETHEFOURTH。
BeforemeliesacoinbearingtheimageandsuperscriptionofKingGeorgeIV。，andofthenominalvalueoftwo-and-sixpence。Butanofficialfriendataneighboringturnpikesaysthepieceishopelesslybad；andachemisttestedit，returningalikeunfavorableopinion。Acabman，whohadbroughtmefromaClub，leftitwiththeClubporter，appealingtothegentwhogaveitaporecabby，ateversomucho"clockofarainynight，whichhehopedhewouldgivehimanother。Ihavetakenthatcabmanathisword。Hehasbeenprovidedwithasoundcoin。Thebadpieceisonthetablebeforeme，andshallhaveaholedrilledthroughit，assoonasthisessayiswritten，byaloyalsubjectwhodoesnotdesiretodefacetheSovereign"simage，buttoprotestagainsttherascalwhohastakenhisnameinvain。Fid。Def。indeed！Isthiswhatyoucalldefendingthefaith?YoudaretoforgeyourSovereign"sname，andpassyourscoundrelpewterashissilver?Iwonderwhoyouare，wretchandmostconsummatetrickster?ThisforgeryissocompletethatevennowIamdeceivedbyit——Ican"tseethedifferencebetweenthebaseandsterlingmetal。Perhapsthispieceisalittlelighter；——Idon"tknow。Alittlesofter:——isit?Ihavenotbittenit，notbeingaconnoisseurinthetastingofpewterorsilver。I
takethewordofthreehonestmen，thoughitgoesagainstme:andthoughIhavegiventwo-and-sixpenceworthofhonestconsiderationforthecounter，Ishallnotattempttoimplicateanybodyelseinmymisfortune，ortransfermyill-lucktoadeludedneighbor。
Isaytheimitationissocuriouslysuccessful，thestamping，millingoftheedges，lettering，andsoforth，aresoneat，thatevennow，whenmyeyesareopen，Icannotseethecheat。Howdidthoseexperts，thecabman，andpikeman，andtradesman，cometofinditout?HowdotheyhappentobemorefamiliarwithpewterandsilverthanIam?Yousee，IputoutofthequestionanotherpointwhichImightarguewithoutfearofdefeat，namely，thecabman"sstatementthatIgavehimthisbadpieceofmoney。SupposeeverycabmanwhotookmeashillingfareweretodriveawayandreturnpresentlywithabadcoinandanassertionthatIhadgivenittohim！Thiswouldbeabsurdandmischievous；anencouragementofviceamongstmenwhoalreadyaresubjecttotemptations。Beinghomo，I
thinkifIwereacabmanmyself，Imightsometimesstretchafurlongortwoinmycalculationofdistance。Butdon"tcomeTWICE，myman，andtellmeIhavegivenyouabadhalf-crown。No，no！Ihavepaidoncelikeagentleman，andonceisenough。Forinstance，duringtheExhibitiontimeIwasstoppedbyanoldcountry-womaninblack，withahugeumbrella，who，burstingintotears，saidtome，“Master，bethisthewaytoHarlow，inEssex?““ThisthewaytoHarlow?ThisisthewaytoExeter，mygoodlady，andyouwillarrivethereifyouwalkabout170milesinyourpresentdirection，“Iansweredcourteously，replyingtotheoldcreature。Thenshefella-sobbingasthoughheroldheartwouldbreak。Shehadadaughtera-dyingatHarlow。Shehadwalkedalready“viftydreemilethatday。”Tearsstoppedtherestofherdiscourse，soartless，genuine，andabundantthat——Iownthetruth——Igaveher，inIbelievegenuinesilver，apieceoftheexactsizeofthatcoinwhichformsthesubjectofthisessay。Well。Aboutamonthsince，neartotheveryspotwhereI
hadmetmyoldwoman，Iwasaccostedbyapersoninblack，apersoninalargedraggledcap，apersonwithahugeumbrella，whowasbeginning，“Isay，Master，canyoutellmeifthisbethewaytoHar——“buthereshestopped。Hereyesgoggledwildly。Shestartedfromme，asMacbethturnedfromMacduff。Shewouldnotengagewithme。ItwasmyoldfriendofHarlow，inEssex。Idaresayshehasinformedmanyotherpeopleofherdaughter"sillness，andheranxietytobeputupontherightwaytoHarlow。Notlongsinceaverygentleman-likeman，MajorDelamereletuscallhim(IlikethetitleofMajorverymuch)，requestedtoseeme，namedadeadgentlemanwhohesaidhadbeenourmutualfriend，andonthestrengthofthismutualacquaintance，beggedmetocashhischequeforfivepounds！
Itisthesethings，mydearsir，whichservetomakeamancynical。
IdoconscientiouslybelievethathadIcashedtheMajor"schequetherewouldhavebeenadifficultyaboutpaymentonthepartoftherespectedbankersonwhomhedrew。Onyourhonorandconscience，doyouthinkthatoldwidowwhowaswalkingfromTunbridgeWellstoHarlowhadadaughterill，andwasanhonestwomanatall?Thedaughtercouldn"talways，yousee，bebeingill，andhermotheronherwaytoherdearchildthroughHydePark。Inthesamewaysomehabitualsneerersmaybeinclinedtohintthatthecabman"sstorywasaninvention——oratanyrate，choosetorideoff(sotospeak)
onthedoubt。No。Myopinion，Iown，isunfavorableasregardsthewidowfromTunbridgeWells，andMajorDelamere；but，believingthecabmanwashonest，Iamgladtothinkhewasnotinjuredbythereader"smosthumbleservant。
Whataqueer，excitinglifethisrogue"smarchmustbe:thisattemptofthebadhalf-crownstogetintocirculation！HadmydistinguishedfriendtheMajorknockedatmanydoorsthatmorning，beforeoperatingonmine?Thesportmustbesomethingakintothepleasureoftigerorelephanthunting。Whatingenuitythesportsmanmusthaveintracinghisprey——whatdaringandcautionincominguponhim！Whatcoolnessinfacingtheangryanimal(for，afterall，amanonwhomyoudrawachequeaboutportantwillbeangry)。Whatadeliciousthrilloftriumph，ifyoucanbringhimdown！IfIhavemoneyatthebanker"sanddrawforaportionofitoverthecounter，thatismereprose——anydoltcandothat。But，havingnobalance，sayIdriveupinacab，presentachequeatCoutts"s，and，receivingtheamount，driveoff?Whatagloriousmorning"ssportthathasbeen！Howsuperiorinexcitementtothecommontransactionsofevery-daylife！……Imusttellastory；itisagainstmyself，Iknow，butitWILLout，andperhapsmymindwillbetheeasier。
Morethantwentyyearsago，inanislandremarkableforitsverdure，ImetfourorfivetimesoneofthemostagreeablecompanionswithwhomIhavepassedanight。Iheardthateviltimeshadcomeuponthisgentleman；and，overtakinghiminaroadnearmyownhouseoneevening，Iaskedhimtocomehometodinner，Intwodays，hewasatmydooragain。Atbreakfast-timewasthissecondappearance。Hewasinacab(ofcoursehewasinacab，theyalwaysare，theseunfortunate，thesecourageousmen)。Todenymyselfwasabsurd。Myfriendcouldseemeovertheparlorblinds，surroundedbymyfamily，andcheerfullypartakingofthemorningmeal。Mighthehaveawordwithme?andcanyouimagineitspurport?Bythemostprovokingdelay，hisuncletheadmiralnotbeingabletocometotowntillFriday——wouldIcashhimacheque?IneednotsayitwouldbepaidonSaturdaywithoutfail。Itellyouthatmanwentawaywithmoneyinhispocket，andIregrettoaddthathisgallantrelativehasnotCOMETOTOWNYET！
Layingdownthepen，andsinkingbackinmychair，here，perhaps，I
fallintoafiveminutes"reverie，andthinkofone，two，three，halfadozencasesinwhichIhavebeencontenttoacceptthatshampromissorycoininreturnforsterlingmoneyadvanced。Notareader，whateverhisage，butcouldtellalikestory。Ivowandbelievetherearemenoffifty，whowilldinewelltoday，whohavenotpaidtheirschooldebtsyet，andwhohavenottakenuptheirlong-protestedpromisestopay。Tom，Dick，Harry，myboys，Ioweyounogrudge，andratherrelishthatwincewithwhichyouwillreadthesemeeklinesandsay，“Hemeansme。”PoorJackinHades！Doyourememberacertainpecuniarytransaction，andalittlesumofmoneyyouborrowed“untilthemeetingofParliament?“Parliamentmetofteninyourlifetime:Parliamenthasmetsince:butIthinkI
shouldscarcebemoresurprisedifyourghostglidedintotheroomnow，andlaiddowntheamountofourlittleaccount，thanIshouldhavebeenifyouhadpaidmeinyourlifetimewiththeactualacceptancesoftheBankofEngland。Youaskedtoborrow，butyouneverintendedtopay。IwouldassoonhavebelievedthatapromissorynoteofSirJohnFalstaff(acceptedbyMessrs。BardolphandNym，andpayableinAldgate，)wouldbeassuretofindpayment，asthatnoteofthedeparted——nay，lamented——JackThriftless。
Hewhoborrows，meaningtopay，isquiteadifferentpersonfromtheindividualheredescribed。Many——most，Ihope——tookJack"spromiseforwhatitwasworth——andquitewellknewthatwhenhesaid，“Lendme，“hemeant“Giveme“twentypounds。“Givemechangeforthishalf-crown，“saidJack；“Iknowit"sapewterpiece；“andyougavehimthechangeinhonestsilver，andpocketedthecounterfeitgravely。
Whataqueerconsciousnessthatmustbewhichaccompaniessuchamaninhissleeping，inhiswaking，inhiswalkthroughlife，byhisfiresidewithhischildrenroundhim！“Forwhatwearegoingtoreceive，“&c——hesaysgracebeforehisdinner。“Mydears！ShallI
helpyoutosomemutton?Irobbedthebutcherofthemeat。Idon"tintendtopayhim。Johnsonmyboy，aglassofchampagne?Verygood，isn"tit?Nottoosweet。Forty-six。IgetitfromSo-and-
so，whomIintendtocheat。”Aseaglesgoforthandbringhometotheireagletsthelamborthepavidkid，Isaytherearemenwholiveandvictualtheirnestsbyplunder。Weallknowhighwayrobbersinwhiteneck-cloths，domesticbandits，marauders，passersofbadcoin。WhatwasyonderchequewhichMajorDelamereproposedI
shouldcashbutapieceofbadmoney?WhatwasJackThriftless"spromisetopay?Havinggothisbooty，IfancyJackortheMajorreturninghome，andwifeandchildrengatheringroundabouthim。
Poorwifeandchildren！Theyrespectpapaverylikely。Theydon"tknowheisfalsecoin。Maybethewifehasadreadfulinklingofthetruth，and，sickening，triestohideitfromthedaughtersandsons。
Maybesheisanaccomplice:herselfabrazenforgery。IfTurpinandJackSheppardweremarried，verylikelyMesdamesSheppardandTurpindidnotknow，atfirst，whattheirhusbands"realprofessionwas，andfancied，whenthemenlefthomeinthemorning，theyonlywentawaytofollowsomeregularandhonorablebusiness。Thenasuspicionofthetruthmayhavecome:thenadreadfulrevelation；
andpresentlywehavetheguiltypairrobbingtogether，orpassingforgedmoneyeachonhisownaccount。YouknowDoctorDodd?I
wonderwhetherhiswifeknowsthatheisaforger，andscoundrel?
Hasshehadanyoftheplunder，thinkyou，andwerethedarlingchildren"snewdressesboughtwithit?TheDoctor"ssermonlastSundaywascertainlycharming，andweallcried。Ah，mypoorDodd！
Whilstheispreachingmostbeautifully，pocket-handkerchiefinhand，heispeeringoverthepulpitcushions，lookingoutpiteouslyforMessrs。PeachumandLockitfromthepolice-office。ByDoctorDoddyouunderstandIwouldtypifytherogueofrespectableexterior，notcommittedtogaolyet，butnotundiscovered。Weallknowoneortwosuch。Thisverysermonperhapswillbereadbysome，ormorelikely——for，dependuponit，yoursolemnhypocriticscoundrelsdon"tcaremuchforlightliterature——morelikely，Isay，thisdiscoursewillbereadbysomeoftheirwives，whothink，“Ahmercy！doesthathorriblecynicalwretchknowhowmypoorhusbandblackedmyeye，orabstractedmamma"ssilverteapot，orforcedmetowriteSo-and-so"snameonthatpieceofstampedpaper，orwhatnot?“
Mygoodcreature，IamnotangrywithYOU。Ifyourhusbandhasbrokenyournose，youwillvowthathehadauthorityoveryourperson，andarighttodemolishanypartofit:ifhehasconveyedawayyourmamma"steapot，youwillsaythatshegaveittohimatyourmarriage，anditwasveryugly，andwhatnot?ifhetakesyouraunt"swatch，andyoulovehim，youwillcarryiterelongtothepawnbroker"s，andperjureyourself——oh，howyouwillperjureyourself——inthewitness-box！Iknowthisisadegradingviewofwoman"snoblenature，herexaltedmission，andsoforth，andsoforth。Iknowyouwillsaythisisbadmorality。Isit?Doyou，ordoyounot，expectyourwomankindtostickbyyouforbetterorforworse?SayIhavecommittedaforgery，andtheofficerscomeinsearchofme，ismywife，Mrs。Dodd，toshowthemintothedining-
roomandsay，“Praystepin，gentlemen！Myhusbandhasjustcomehomefromchurch。ThatbillwithmyLordChesterfield"sacceptance，Iamboundtoown，wasneverwrittenbyhislordship，andthesignatureisinthedoctor"shandwriting?“Isay，wouldanymanofsenseorhonor，orfinefeeling，praisehiswifefortellingthetruthundersuchcircumstances?Supposeshemadeafinegrimace，andsaid，“Mostpainfulasmypositionis，mostdeeplyasIfeelformyWilliam，yettruthmustprevail，andIdeeplylamenttostatethatthebelovedpartnerofmylifeDIDcommittheflagitiousactwithwhichheischarged，andisatthispresentmomentlocatedinthetwo-pairback，upthechimney，whitheritismydutytoleadyou。”Why，evenDoddhimself，whowasoneofthegreatesthumbugswhoeverlived，wouldnothavehadthefacetosaythatheapprovedofhiswifetellingthetruthinsuchacase。WouldyouhavehadFloraMacdonaldbeckontheofficers，saying，“Thisway，gentlemen！
Youwillfindtheyoungchevalierasleepinthatcavern。”Ordon"tyoupreferhertobesplendidemendax，andreadyatallriskstosavehim?。IfeverIleadarebellion，andmywomenbetrayme，mayIbehangedbutIwillnotforgivethem:andifeverIstealateapot，andMYwomendon"tstandupforme，passthearticleundertheirshawls，whiskdownthestreetwithit，outblusterthepoliceman，andutteranyamountoffibsbeforeMr。Beak，thosebeingsarenotwhatItakethemtobe，and——forafortune——Iwon"tgivethemsomuchasabadhalf-crown。
Isconsciousguiltasourceofunmixedpaintothebosomwhichharborsit?Hasnotyourcriminal，onthecontrary，anexcitement，anenjoymentwithinquiteunknowntoyouandmewhoneverdidanythingwronginourlives?Thehousebreakermustsnatchafearfuljoyashewalksunchallengedbythepolicemanwithhissackfullofspoonsandtankards。Donotcracksmen，whenassembledtogether，entertainthemselveswithstoriesofgloriousoldburglarieswhichtheyorbygoneheroeshavecommitted?Butthatmyageismatureandmyhabitsformed，Ishouldreallyjustliketotryalittlecriminality。Fancypassingaforgedbilltoyourbanker；callingonafriendandsweepinghissideboardofplate，hishallofumbrellasandcoats；andthengoinghometodressfordinner，say——andtomeetabishop，ajudge，andapolicemagistrateorso，andtalkmoremorallythananymanattable！HowIshouldchuckle(asmyhost"sspoonsclinkedsoftlyinmypocket)whilstIwasutteringsomenoblespeechaboutvirtue，duty，charity！Iwonderdowemeetgarrotersinsociety?Inanaveragetea-party，now，howmanyreturnedconvictsarethere?DoesJohnFootman，whenheaskspermissiontogoandspendtheeveningwithsomefriends，passhistimeinthuggee；waylayandstrangleanoldgentleman，ortwo；lethimselfintoyourhouse，withthehouse-keyofcourse，andappearasusualwiththeshaving-waterwhenyouringyourbellinthemorning?TheverypossibilityofsuchasuspicioninvestsJohnwithanewandromanticinterestinmymind。BehindthegravepolitenessofhiscountenanceItryandreadthelurkingtreason。Fullofthispleasingsubject，Ihavebeentalkingthief-storieswithaneighbor。
Theneighbortellsmehowsomefriendsofhersusedtokeepajewel-
boxunderabedintheirroom；and，goingintotheroom，theythoughttheyheardanoiseunderthebed。Theyhadthecouragetolook。Thecookwasunderthebed——underthebedwiththejewel-box。
Ofcourseshesaidshehadcomeforpurposesconnectedwithherbusiness；butthiswasabsurd。Acookunderabedisnotthereforprofessionalpurposes。Arelationofminehadaboxcontainingdiamondsunderherbed，whichdiamondsshetoldmeweretobemine。
Mine！Oneday，atdinner-time，betweentheentreesandtheroast，acabdroveawayfrommyrelative"shousecontainingtheboxwhereinlaythediamonds。Johnlaidthedessert，broughtthecoffee，waitedalltheevening——andoh，howfrightenedhewaswhenhecametolearnthathismistress"sboxhadbeenconveyedoutofherownroom，anditcontaineddiamonds——“Lawblessus，diditnow?“IwonderwhetherJohn"ssubsequentcareerhasbeenprosperous?PerhapsthegentlemenfromBowStreetwereallinthewrongwhentheyagreedinsuspectingJohnastheauthoroftherobbery。Hisnoblenaturewashurtatthesuspicion。Youconceivehewouldnotliketoremaininafamilywheretheyweremeanenoughtosuspecthimofstealingajewel-boxoutofabedroom——andtheinjuredmanandmyrelativessoonparted。
But，inclining(withmyusualcynicism)tothinkthathedidstealthevaluables，thinkofhislifeforthemonthortwowhilsthestillremainsintheservice！Heshowstheofficersoverthehouse，agreeswiththemthatthecoupmusthavebeenmadebypersonsfamiliarwithit；givesthemeveryassistance；pitieshismasterandmistresswithamanlycompassion；pointsoutwhatacruelmisfortuneitistohimselfasanhonestman，withhislivingtogetandhisfamilytoprovidefor，thatthissuspicionshouldfallonhim。
Finallyhetakesleaveofhisplace，withadeep，thoughnaturalmelancholythateverhehadacceptedit。What"sathousandpoundstogentle-folks！Aloss，certainly，buttheywillliveaswellwithoutthediamondsaswiththem。ButtoJohnhisHhhonorwasworthmorethandiamonds，hisHhonorwas。Whoheveristogivehimbackhischaracter?Whoistopreventhanyonefromsaying，“Hoyes。Thisisthefootmanwhichwasinthefamilywherethediamondswasstole?“&c。
IwonderhasJohnprosperedinlifesubsequently?Ifheisinnocenthedoesnotinterestmeintheleast。TheinterestofthecaseliesinJohn"sbehaviorsupposinghimtobeguilty。Imaginethesmilingface，thedailyservice，theorderlyperformanceofduty，whilstwithinJohnissufferingpangslestdiscoveryshouldovertakehim。
Everybellofthedoorwhichheisobligedtoopenmaybringapoliceofficer。Theaccomplicesmaypeach。WhatanexcitinglifeJohn"smusthavebeenforawhile。Andnow，yearsandyearsafter，whenpursuithaslongceased，anddetectionisimpossible，doesheeverreverttothelittletransaction?Isitpossiblethosediamondscostathousandpounds?Whataroguethefencemusthavebeenwhoonlygavehimsoandso！AndIpleasinglypicturetomyselfanoldex-footmanandanancientreceiverofstolengoodsmeetingandtalkingoverthismatter，whichdatesfromtimessoearlythatherpresentMajesty"sfairimagecouldonlyjusthavebeguntobecoinedorforged。
IchoosetotakeJohnatthetimewhenhislittlepeccadilloissuspected，perhaps，butwhenthereisnospecificchargeofrobberyagainsthim。Heisnotyetconvicted:heisnotevenonhistrial；
howthencanweventuretosayheisguilty?Nowthinkwhatscoresofmenandwomenwalktheworldinalikepredicament；andwhatfalsecoinpassescurrent！Pinchbeckstrivestopassoffhishistoryassoundcoin。Heknowsitisonlybasemetal，washedoverwithathinvarnishoflearning。Poluphloisbosputshissermonsincirculation:soundingbrass，lacqueredoverwithwhitemetal，andmarkedwiththestampandimageofpiety。WhatsayyoutoDrawcansir"sreputationasamilitarycommander?toTibbs"spretensionstobeafinegentleman?toSapphira"sclaimsasapoetess，orRodoessa"sasabeauty?Hisbravery，hispiety，highbirth，genius，beauty——eachofthesedeceiverswouldpalmhisfalsehoodonus，andhaveusaccepthisforgeriesassterlingcoin。
Andwetalkhere，pleasetoobserve，ofweaknessesratherthancrimes。Someofushavemoreseriousthingstohidethanayellowcheekbehindaraddleofrouge，orawhitepollunderawigofjettycurls。Youknow，neighbor，therearenotonlyfalseteethinthisworld，butfalsetongues:andsomemakeupabustandanappearanceofstrengthwithpadding，cotton，andwhatnot?whileanotherkindofartisttriestotakeyouinbywearingunderhiswaistcoat，andperpetuallythumping，animmenseshamheart。Dearsir，mayyoursandminebefound，attherighttime，ofthepropersizeandintherightplace。
Andwhathasthistodowithhalf-crowns，goodorbad?Ah，friend！
mayourcoin，battered，andclipped，anddefacedthoughitbe，beprovedtobeSterlingSilveronthedayoftheGreatAssay！
“STRANGETOSAY，ONCLUBPAPER。”
BeforetheDukeofYork"scolumn，andbetweenthe“Athenaeum“and“UnitedService“Clubs，Ihaveseenmorethanonce，ontheesplanade，apreacherholdingforthtoalittlecongregationofbadaudsandstreet-boys，whomheentertainswithadiscourseonthecrimesofarapaciousaristocracy，orwarnsoftheimminentperiloftheirownsouls。Sometimesthisoratorismadeto“moveon“bybrutalpolicemen。Sometimes，onaSunday，hepointstoawhiteheadortwovisibleinthewindowsoftheClubstotherightandleftofhim，andvolunteersastatementthatthosequietandelderlySabbath-breakerswillverysoonbecalledfromthisworldtoanother，wheretheirlotwillbynomeansbesocomfortableasthatwhichthereprobatesenjoyhere，intheirarm-chairsbytheirsnugfires。
Attheendoflastmonth，hadIbeenaPallMallpreacher，IwouldhavelikedtosendawhiproundtoalltheClubsinSt。James"s，andconvokethefewmembersremaininginLondontohearadiscoursesubDioonatextfromtheObservernewspaper。IwouldhavetakenpostunderthestatueofFame，say，whereshestandsdistributingwreathstothethreeCrimeanGuardsmen。(Thecrossing-sweeperdoesnotobstructthepath，andIsupposeisawayathisvillaonSundays。)
And，whenthecongregationwasprettyquiet，Iwouldhavebegun:——
IntheObserverofthe27thSeptember，1863，inthefifthpageandthefourthcolumn，itisthuswritten:——
“ThecodicilappendedtothewillofthelateLordClyde，executedatChatham，andbearingthesignatureofClyde，F。M。，iswritten，strangetosay，onasheetofpaperBEARINGTHE"ATHENAEUMCLUB"
MARK。”
Whatthecodicilis，mydearbrethren，itisnotourbusinesstoinquire。ItconveysabenefactiontoafaithfulandattachedfriendofthegoodField-Marshal。Thegiftmaybealakhofrupees，oritmaybeahouseanditscontents——furniture，plate，andwine-cellar。
Myfriends，Iknowthewine-merchant，and，forthesakeofthelegatee，hopeheartilythatthestockislarge。
AmIwrong，dearbrethren，insupposingthatyouexpectapreachertosayaseasonablewordondeathhere?Ifyoudon"t，Ifearyouarebutlittlefamiliarwiththehabitsofpreachers，andarebutlaxhearersofsermons。Wemightcontrastthevaultwherethewarrior"sremainslieshroudedandcoffined，withthatinwhichhisworldlyprovisionofwineisstowedaway。SpainandPortugalandFrance——allthelandswhichsuppliedhisstore——ashardyandobedientsubaltern，asresolutecaptain，ascoloneldaringbutprudent——hehasvisitedthefieldsofall。InIndiaandChinahemarchesalwaysunconquered；orattheheadofhisdauntlessHighlandbrigadehetreadstheCrimeansnow；orheridesfromconquesttoconquestinIndiaoncemore；succoringhiscountrymeninthehouroftheirutmostneed；smitingdownthescaredmutiny，andtramplingouttheembersofrebellion；attheheadofanheroicarmy，aconsummatechief。Andnowhisgloriousoldswordissheathed，andhishonorsarewon:andhehasboughthimahouse，andstoreditwithmodestcheerforhisfriends(thegoodoldmanputwaterinhisownwine，andaglassortwosufficedhim)——beholdtheendcomes，andhislegateeinheritsthesemodestpossessionsbyvirtueofacodiciltohislordship"swill，written，“strangetosay，uponasheetofpaper，bearingthe"AthenaeumClub"mark。”
Itistothispartofthetext，mybrethren，thatIproposetoaddressmyselfparticularly，andiftheremarksImakeareoffensivetoanyofyou，youknowthedoorsofourmeeting-houseareopen，andyoucanwalkoutwhenyouwill。AroundusaremagnificenthallsandpalacesfrequentedbysuchamultitudeofmenasnoteventheRomanForumassembledtogether。YonderaretheMartiumandthePalladium。
NexttothePalladiumistheelegantViatorium，whichBarrygracefullystolefromRome。ByitssideisthemassiveReformatorium:
andthe——theUltratoriumrearsitsgranitecolumnsbeyond。Extendingdownthestreetpalaceafterpalacerisesmagnificent，andundertheirloftyroofswarriorsandlawyers，merchantsandnobles，scholarsandseamen，thewealthy，thepoor，thebusy，theidleassemble。IntothehallsbuiltdownthislittlestreetanditsneighborhoodtheprincipalmenofallLondoncometohearorimpartthenews；andtheaffairsofthestateorofprivateindividuals，thequarrelsofempiresorofauthors，themovementsofthecourt，orthesplendidvagariesoffashion，theintriguesofstatesmenorofpersonsofanothersexyetmorewily，thelastnewsofbattlesinthegreatoccidentalcontinents，nay，thelatestbettingforthehorse-races，ortheadventofadanceratthetheatre——allthatmendoisdiscussedinthesePallMallagorae，whereweofLondondailyassemble。
Nowamongsomanytalkers，considerhowmanyfalsereportsmustflyabout:insuchmultitudesimaginehowmanydisappointedmentheremustbe；howmanychatterboxes；howmanyfeebleandcredulous(whereofImarksomespecimensinmycongregation)；howmanymean，rancorous，pronetobelieveilloftheirbetters，eagertofindfault；andthen，mybrethren，fancyhowthewordsofmytextmusthavebeenreadandreceivedinPallMall！(Iperceiveseveralofthecongregationlookingmostuncomfortable。Oneoldboywithadyedmoustacheturnspurpleintheface，andstrutsbacktotheMartium:another，withashrugoftheshoulderandamurmurof“Rubbish，“slinksawayinthedirectionoftheTogatorium，andthepreachercontinues。)ThewillofField-MarshalLordClyde——signedATCHATHAM，mind，wherehislordshipdied——iswritten，STRANGETO
SAY，onasheetofpaperbearingthe“AthenaeumClub“mark！
Theinferenceisobvious。AmancannotgetAthenaeumpaperexceptatthe“Athenaeum。”SuchpaperisnotsoldatChatham，wherethelastcodiciltohislordship"swillisdated。Andsothepainfulbeliefisforceduponus，thataPeer，aField-Marshal，wealthy，respected，illustrious，couldpocketpaperathisClub，andcarryitawaywithhimtothecountry。Onefanciesthehall-porterconsciousoftheoldlord"siniquity，andholdingdownhisheadastheMarshalpassesthedoor。Whatisthatrollwhichhislordshipcarries?IsithisMarshal"sbatongloriouslywon?No；itisarolloffoolscapconveyedfromtheClub。Whathasheonhisbreast，underhisgreatcoat?IsithisStarofIndia?No；itisabundleofenvelopes，bearingtheheadofMinerva，somesealing-wax，andahalf-scoreofpens。
LetusimaginehowinthehallofoneorotheroftheseClubsthisstrangeanecdotewillbediscussed。
“Notoriousscrew，“saysSneer。“Thepooroldfellow"savaricehaslongbeenknown。”
“SupposehewishestoimitatetheDukeofMarlborough，“saysSimper。
“HabitoflootingcontractedinIndia，youknow；ain"tsoeasytogetover，youknow，“saysSnigger。
“WhenofficersdinedwithhiminIndia，“remarksSolemn，“itwasnotoriousthatthespoonswereallofadifferentpattern。”
“Perhapsitisn"ttrue。SupposehewrotehispaperattheClub?“
interposesJones。
“ItisdatedatChatham，mygoodman，“saysBrown。“AmanifheisinLondonsaysheisinLondon。AmanifheisinRochestersaysheisinRochester。ThismanhappenstoforgetthatheisusingtheClubpaper；andhehappenstobefoundout:manymenDON"Thappentobefoundout。I"veseenliteraryfellowsatClubswritingtheirrubbishingarticles；Ihavenodoubttheytakeawayreamsofpaper。
Theycribthoughts:whyshouldn"ttheycribstationery?Oneofyourliteraryvagabondswhoiscapableofstabbingareputation，whoiscapableoftellinganymonstrousfalsehoodtosupporthisparty，issurelycapableofstealingareamofpaper。”
“Well，well，wehaveallourweaknesses，“sighsRobinson。“Seenthatarticle，Thompson，intheObserveraboutLordClydeandtheClubpaper?You"llfinditupstairs。Inthethirdcolumnofthefifthpagetowardsthebottomofthepage。Isupposehewassopoorhecouldn"taffordtobuyaquireofpaper。Hadn"tfourpenceintheworld。Oh，no！“
“Andtheywanttogetupatestimonialtothisman"smemory——astatueorsomething！“criesJawkins。“AmanwhowallowsinwealthandtakespaperawayfromhisClub！Idon"tsayheisnotbrave。
Brutalcouragemostmenhave。Idon"tsayhewasnotagoodofficer:amanwithsuchexperienceMUSThavebeenagoodofficerunlesshewasabornfool。Buttothinkofthismanloadedwithhonors——thoughofaloworigin——solosttoself-respectasactuallytotakeawaythe"Athenaeum"paper！Theseparvenus，sir，betraytheirorigin——betraytheirorigin。Isaidtomywifethisverymorning，"Mrs。Jawkins，"Isaid，"thereistalkofatestimonialtothisman。Iwillnotgiveoneshilling。IhavenoideaofraisingstatuestofellowswhotakeawayClubpaper。No，byGeorge，Ihavenot。Why，theywillberaisingstatuestomenwhotakeClubspoonsnext！NotonepennyofMYmoneyshalltheyhave！"“
Andnow，ifyouplease，wewilltelltherealstorywhichhasfurnishedthisscandaltoanewspaper，thistattletoClubgossipsandloungers。TheField-Marshal，wishingtomakeafurtherprovisionforafriend，informedhislawyerwhathedesiredtodo。
Thelawyer，amemberofthe“AthenaeumClub，“therewrotethedraftofsuchacodicilashewouldadvise，andsentthepaperbytheposttoLordClydeatChatham。LordClydefindingthepaperperfectlysatisfactory，signeditandsentitback:andhencewehavethestoryof“thecodicilbearingthesignatureofClyde，F。M。，andwritten，strangetosay，uponpaperbearingthe"AthenaeumClub"
mark。”
HereIhavebeenimaginingadialoguebetweenahalf-dozengossipssuchascongregateroundaClubfireplaceofanafternoon。Iwonderhowmanypeoplebesides——whetheranychancereaderofthisverypagehasreadandbelievedthisstoryaboutthegoodoldlord?Havethecountrypaperscopiedtheanecdote，andour“owncorrespondents“
madetheirremarksonit?If，mygoodsir，ormadam，youhavereaditandcreditedit，don"tyouowntoalittlefeelingofshameandsorrow，nowthatthetrumperylittlemysteryiscleared?To“thenewinhabitantoflight，“passedawayandoutofreachofourcensure，misrepresentation，scandal，dulness，malice，asillyfalsehoodmattersnothing。Censureandpraisearealiketohim——
“Themusicwarblingtothedeafenedear，Theincensewastedonthefuneralbier，“
thepompouseulogypronouncedoverthegravestone，ortheliethatslanderspitsonit。Faithfullythoughthisbraveoldchiefdidhisduty，honestanduprightthoughhislifewas，glorioushisrenown——
youseehecouldwriteatChathamonLondonpaper；youseemencanbefoundtopointouthow“strange“hisbehaviorwas。
Andaboutourselves?Mygoodpeople，doyoubychanceknowanymanorwomanwhohasformedunjustconclusionsregardinghisneighbor?
Haveyoueverfoundyourselfwilling，nay，eagertobelieveevilofsomemanwhomyouhate?Whomyouhatebecauseheissuccessful，andyouarenot:becauseheisrich，andyouarepoor:becausehedineswithgreatmenwhodon"tinviteyou:becausehewearsasilkgown，andyoursisstillstuff:becausehehasbeencalledintoperformtheoperationthoughyoulivedcloseby:becausehispictureshavebeenboughtandyoursreturnedhomeunsold:becausehefillshischurch，andyouarepreachingtoemptypews?Ifyourrivalprospershaveyoueverfeltatwingeofanger?Ifhiswife"scarriagepassesyouandMrs。Tomkins，whoareinacab，don"tyoufeelthatthosepeoplearegivingthemselvesabsurdairsofimportance?Ifheliveswithgreatpeople，areyounotsureheisasneak?Andifyoueverfeltenvytowardsanother，andifyourhearthaseverbeenblacktowardsyourbrother，ifyouhavebeenpeevishathissuccess，pleasedtohearhismeritdepreciated，andeagertobelieveallthatissaidinhisdisfavor——mygoodsir，asyouyourselfcontritelyownthatyouareunjust，jealous，uncharitable，so，youmaybesure，somemenareuncharitable，jealous，andunjustregardingYOU。
Theproofsandmanuscriptofthislittlesermonhavejustcomefromtheprinter"s，andasIlookatthewriting，Iperceive，notwithoutasmile，thatoneortwoofthepagesbear，“strangetosay，“themarkofaClubofwhichIhavethehonortobeamember。ThoselinesquotedinaforegoingpagearefromsomenobleverseswrittenbyoneofMr。Addison"smen，Mr。Tickell，onthedeathofCadogan，whowasamongstthemostprominent“ofMarlborough"scaptainsandEugenio"sfriends。”Ifyouareacquaintedwiththehistoryofthosetimes，youhavereadhowCadoganhadhisfeudsandhatredstoo，asTickell"spatronhadhis，asCadogan"sgreatchiefhadhis。“TheDukeofMarlborough"scharacterhasbeensovariouslydrawn“(writesafamouscontemporaryoftheduke"s)，“thatitishardtopronounceoneithersidewithoutthesuspicionofflatteryordetraction。I
shallsaynothingofhismilitaryaccomplishments，whichtheoppositereportsofhisfriendsandenemiesamongthesoldiershaverenderedproblematical。Thosemalignerswhodenyhimpersonalvalor，seemnottoconsiderthatthisaccusationischargedataventure，sincethepersonofageneralistooseldomexposed，andthatfearwhichissaidsometimestohavedisconcertedhimbeforeactionmightprobablybemoreforhisarmythanhimself。”IfSwiftcouldhintadoubtofMarlborough"scourage，whatwonderthatanamelessscribeofourdayshouldquestionthehonorofClyde?
THELASTSKETCH。
NotmanydayssinceIwenttovisitahousewhereinformeryearsI
hadreceivedmanyafriendlywelcome。Wewentintotheowner"s——anartist"s——studio。Prints，pictures，andsketcheshungonthewallsasIhadlastseenandrememberedthem。Theimplementsofthepainter"sartwerethere。Thelightwhichhadshoneuponsomany，manyhoursofpatientandcheerfultoil，pouredthroughthenorthernwindowuponprintandbust，layfigureandsketch，andupontheeaselbeforewhichthegood，thegentle，thebelovedLeslielabored。
Inthisroomthebusybrainhaddevised，andtheskilfulhandexecuted，Iknownothowmanyofthenobleworkswhichhavedelightedtheworldwiththeirbeautyandcharminghumor。Herethepoetcalledupintopictorialpresence，andinformedwithlife，grace，beauty，infinitefriendlymirthandwondrousnaturalnessofexpression，thepeopleofwhomhisdearbookstoldhimthestories，——
hisShakspeare，hisCervantes，hisMoliere，hisLeSage。Therewashislastworkontheeasel——abeautifulfreshsmilingshapeofTitania，suchashissweetguilelessfancyimaginedtheMidsummerNight"squeentobe。Gracious，andpure，andbright，thesweetsmilingimageglimmersonthecanvas。Fairyelves，nodoubt，weretohavebeengroupedaroundtheirmistressinlaughingclusters。
HonestBottom"sgrotesqueheadandformareindicatedasreposingbythesideoftheconsummatebeauty。Thedarklingforestwouldhavegrownaroundthem，withthestarsglitteringfromthemidsummersky:
theflowersatthequeen"sfeet，andtheboughsandfoliageabouther，wouldhavebeenpeopledwithgambollingspritesandfays。Theyweredwellingintheartist"smindnodoubt，andwouldhavebeendevelopedbythatpatient，faithful，admirablegenius:butthebusybrainstoppedworking，theskilfulhandfelllifeless，theloving，honestheartceasedtobeat。Whatwasshetohavebeen——thatfairTitania——whenperfectedbythepatientskillofthepoet，whoinimaginationsawthesweetinnocentfigure，andwithtendercourtesyandcaresses，asitwere，posedandshapedandtracedthefairform?
Isthererecordkeptanywhereoffanciesconceived，beautiful，unborn?Somedaywilltheyassumeforminsomeyetundevelopedlight?Ifourbadunspokenthoughtsareregisteredagainstus，andarewrittenintheawfulaccount，willnotthegoodthoughtsunspoken，theloveandtenderness，thepity，beauty，charity，whichpassthroughthebreast，andcausethehearttothrobwithsilentgood，findaremembrancetoo?Afewweeksmore，andthislovelyoffspringofthepoet"sconceptionwouldhavebeencomplete——tocharmtheworldwithitsbeautifulmirth。Maytherenotbesomesphereunknowntouswhereitmayhaveanexistence?Theysayourwords，onceoutofourlips，gotravellinginomneoevum，reverberatingforeverandever。Ifourwords，whynotourthoughts?IftheHasBeen，whynottheMightHaveBeen?
Somedayourspiritsmaybepermittedtowalkingalleriesoffanciesmorewondrousandbeautifulthananyachievedworkswhichatpresentwesee，andourmindstobeholdanddelightinmasterpieceswhichpoets"andartists"mindshavefatheredandconceivedonly。
WithafeelingmuchakintothatwithwhichIlookeduponthefriend"s——theadmirableartist"s——unfinishedwork，IcanfancymanyreadersturningtothelastpageswhichweretracedbyCharlotteBronte"shand。Ofthemultitudethathavereadherbooks，whohasnotknownanddeploredthetragedyofherfamily，herownmostsadanduntimelyfate?Whichofherreadershasnotbecomeherfriend?
Whothathasknownherbookshasnotadmiredtheartist"snobleEnglish，theburningloveoftruth，thebravery，thesimplicity，theindignationatwrong，theeagersympathy，thepiousloveandreverence，thepassionatehonor，sotospeak，ofthewoman?Whatastoryisthatofthatfamilyofpoetsintheirsolitudeyonderonthegloomynorthernmoors！Atnineo"clockatnight，Mrs。Gaskelltells，aftereveningprayers，whentheirguardianandrelativehadgonetobed，thethreepoetesses——thethreemaidens，Charlotte，andEmily，andAnne——Charlottebeingthe“motherlyfriendandguardiantotheothertwo“——“began，likerestlesswildanimals，topaceupanddowntheirparlor，"makingout"theirwonderfulstories，talkingoverplansandprojects，andthoughtsofwhatwastobetheirfuturelife。”
Oneevening，atthecloseof1854，asCharlotteNichollssatwithherhusbandbythefire，listeningtothehowlingofthewindaboutthehouse，shesuddenlysaidtoherhusband，“Ifyouhadnotbeenwithme，Imusthavebeenwritingnow。”Shethenranupstairs，andbroughtdown，andreadaloud，thebeginningofanewtale。Whenshehadfinished，herhusbandremarked，“Thecriticswillaccuseyouofrepetition。”Shereplied，“Oh！Ishallalterthat。IalwaysbegintwoorthreetimesbeforeIcanpleasemyself。”Butitwasnottobe。Thetremblinglittlehandwastowritenomore。Theheartnewlyawakenedtoloveandhappiness，andthrobbingwithmaternalhope，wassoontoceasetobeat；thatintrepidoutspeakerandchampionoftruth，thateager，impetuousredresserofwrong，wastobecalledoutoftheworld"sfightandstruggle，tolaydowntheshiningarms，andtoberemovedtoaspherewhereevenanobleindignationcorulteriusnequitlacerare，andwheretruthcomplete，andrighttriumphant，nolongerneedtowagewar。
Icanonlysayofthislady，viditantum。IsawherfirstjustasI
roseoutofanillnessfromwhichIhadneverthoughttorecover。I
rememberthetremblinglittleframe，thelittlehand，thegreathonesteyes。Animpetuoushonestyseemedtometocharacterizethewoman。TwiceIrecollectshetookmetotaskforwhatsheheldtobeerrorsindoctrine。OnceaboutFieldingwehadadisputation。
Shespokehermindout。Shejumpedtoorapidlytoconclusions。(I
havesmiledatoneortwopassagesinthe“Biography，“inwhichmyowndispositionorbehaviorformsthesubjectoftalk。)Sheformedconclusionsthatmightbewrong，andbuiltupwholetheoriesofcharacteruponthem。NewtotheLondonworld，sheentereditwithanindependent，indomitablespiritofherown；andjudgedofcontemporaries，andespeciallyspiedoutarroganceoraffectation，withextraordinarykeennessofvision。Shewasangrywithherfavoritesiftheirconductorconversationfellbelowherideal。
OftensheseemedtometobejudgingtheLondonfolkprematurely:
butperhapsthecityisratherangryatbeingjudged。IfanciedanausterelittleJoanofArcmarchinginuponus，andrebukingoureasylives，oureasymorals。Shegavemetheimpressionofbeingaverypure，andlofty，andhigh-mindedperson。Agreatandholyreverenceofrightandtruthseemedtobewithheralways。Such，inourbriefinterview，sheappearedtome。Asonethinksofthatlifesonoble，solonely——ofthatpassionfortruth——ofthosenightsandnightsofeagerstudy，swarmingfancies，invention，depression，elation，prayer；asonereadsthenecessarilyincomplete，thoughmosttouchingandadmirablehistoryoftheheartthatthrobbedinthisonelittleframe——ofthisoneamongstthemyriadsofsoulsthathavelivedanddiedonthisgreatearth——thisgreatearth?——thislittlespeckintheinfiniteuniverseofGod，——withwhatwonderdowethinkofto-day，withwhataweawaitto-morrow，whenthatwhichisnowbutdarklyseenshallbeclear！AsIreadthislittlefragmentarysketch，Ithinkoftherest。Isit?Andwhereisit?
Willnottheleafbeturnedsomeday，andthestorybetold?ShallthedeviserofthetalesomewhereperfectthehistoryoflittleEMMA"Sgriefsandtroubles?ShallTITANIAcomeforthcompletewithhersportivecourt，withtheflowersatherfeet，theforestaroundher，andallthestarsofsummerglitteringoverhead?
HowwellIrememberthedelight，andwonder，andpleasurewithwhichIread“JaneEyre，“senttomebyanauthorwhosenameandsexwerethenalikeunknowntome；thestrangefascinationsofthebook；andhowwithmyownworkpressinguponme，Icouldnot，havingtakenthevolumesup，laythemdownuntiltheywerereadthrough！Hundredsofthosewho，likemyself，recognizedandadmiredthatmaster-workofagreatgenius，willlookwithamournfulinterestandregardandcuriosityuponthelastfragmentarysketchfromthenoblehandwhichwrote“JaneEyre。”