第8章
IV
THENEXTAFTERNOONIwalkedovertotheShimerdas"。YulkashowedmethebabyandtoldmethatAntoniawasshockingwheatonthesouthwestquarter。
Iwentdownacrossthefields，andTonysawmefromalongwayoff。Shestoodstillbyhershocks，leaningonherpitchfork，watchingmeasIcame。
Wemetlikethepeopleintheoldsong，insilence，ifnotintears。
Herwarmhandclaspedmine。
`Ithoughtyou"dcome，Jim。IheardyouwereatMrs。Steavens"slastnight。
I"vebeenlookingforyouallday。"
ShewasthinnerthanIhadeverseenher，andlookedasMrs。Steavenssaid，`workeddown，"buttherewasanewkindofstrengthinthegravityofherface，andhercolourstillgaveherthatlookofdeep-seatedhealthandardour。Still？Why，itflashedacrossmethatthoughsomuchhadhappenedinherlifeandinmine，shewasbarelytwenty-fouryearsold。
Antoniastuckherforkintheground，andinstinctivelywewalkedtowardthatunploughedpatchatthecrossingoftheroadsasthefittestplacetotalktoeachother。WesatdownoutsidethesaggingwirefencethatshutMr。Shimerda"splotofffromtherestoftheworld。
Thetallredgrasshadneverbeencutthere。Ithaddieddowninwinterandcomeupagaininthespringuntilitwasasthickandshrubbyassometropicalgarden-grass。Ifoundmyselftellinghereverything:
whyIhaddecidedtostudylawandtogointothelawofficeofoneofmymother"srelativesinNewYorkCity；aboutGastonCleric"sdeathfrompneumonialastwinter，andthedifferenceithadmadeinmylife。
Shewantedtoknowaboutmyfriends，andmywayofliving，andmydearesthopes。
`Ofcourseitmeansyouaregoingawayfromusforgood，"
shesaidwithasigh。`Butthatdon"tmeanI"llloseyou。
Lookatmypapahere；he"sbeendeadalltheseyears，andyetheismorerealtomethanalmostanybodyelse。
Henevergoesoutofmylife。Italktohimandconsulthimallthetime。TheolderIgrow，thebetterIknowhimandthemoreIunderstandhim。"
SheaskedmewhetherIhadlearnedtolikebigcities。
`I"dalwaysbemiserableinacity。I"ddieoflonesomeness。
IliketobewhereIknoweverystackandtree，andwhereallthegroundisfriendly。Iwanttoliveanddiehere。
FatherKellysayseverybody"sputintothisworldforsomething，andIknowwhatI"vegottodo。I"mgoingtoseethatmylittlegirlhasabetterchancethaneverIhad。
I"mgoingtotakecareofthatgirl，Jim。"
ItoldherIknewshewould。`Doyouknow，Antonia，sinceI"vebeenaway，Ithinkofyoumoreoftenthanofanyoneelseinthispartoftheworld。I"dhavelikedtohaveyouforasweetheart，orawife，ormymotherormysister——anythingthatawomancanbetoaman。
Theideaofyouisapartofmymind；youinfluencemylikesanddislikes，allmytastes，hundredsoftimeswhenIdon"trealizeit。
Youreallyareapartofme。"
Sheturnedherbright，believingeyestome，andthetearscameupinthemslowly，`Howcanitbelikethat，whenyouknowsomanypeople，andwhenI"vedisappointedyouso？
Ain"titwonderful，Jim，howmuchpeoplecanmeantoeachother？
I"msogladwehadeachotherwhenwewerelittle。
Ican"twaittillmylittlegirl"soldenoughtotellheraboutallthethingsweusedtodo。You"llalwaysremembermewhenyouthinkaboutoldtimes，won"tyou？AndIguesseverybodythinksaboutoldtimes，eventhehappiestpeople。"
Aswewalkedhomewardacrossthefields，thesundroppedandlaylikeagreatgoldenglobeinthelowwest。
Whileithungthere，themoonroseintheeast，asbigasacart-wheel，palesilverandstreakedwithrosecolour，thinasabubbleoraghost-moon。Forfive，perhapstenminutes，thetwoluminariesconfrontedeachotheracrossthelevelland，restingonoppositeedgesoftheworld。
Inthatsingularlighteverylittletreeandshockofwheat，everysunflowerstalkandclumpofsnow-on-the-mountain，drewitselfuphighandpointed；
theveryclodsandfurrowsinthefieldsseemedtostandupsharply。
Ifelttheoldpulloftheearth，thesolemnmagicthatcomesoutofthosefieldsatnightfall。IwishedIcouldbealittleboyagain，andthatmywaycouldendthere。
Wereachedtheedgeofthefield，whereourwaysparted。
Itookherhandsandheldthemagainstmybreast，feelingoncemorehowstrongandwarmandgoodtheywere，thosebrownhands，andrememberinghowmanykindthingstheyhaddoneforme。
Iheldthemnowalongwhile，overmyheart。Aboutusitwasgrowingdarkeranddarker，andIhadtolookhardtoseeherface，whichImeantalwaystocarrywithme；theclosest，realestface，underalltheshadowsofwomen"sfaces，attheverybottomofmymemory。
`I"llcomeback，"Isaidearnestly，throughthesoft，intrusivedarkness。
`Perhapsyouwill"——Ifeltratherthansawhersmile。
`Butevenifyoudon"t，you"rehere，likemyfather。
SoIwon"tbelonesome。"
AsIwentbackaloneoverthatfamiliarroad，Icouldalmostbelievethataboyandgirlranalongbesideme，asourshadowsusedtodo，laughingandwhisperingtoeachotherinthegrass。
EndofBookIVBOOKVCuzak"sBoys
I
ITOLDANTONIAIwouldcomeback，butlifeintervened，anditwastwenty
yearsbeforeIkeptmypromise。Iheardofherfromtimetotime；
thatshemarried，verysoonafterIlastsawher，ayoungBohemian，
acousinofAntonJelinek；thattheywerepoor，andhadalargefamily。
OncewhenIwasabroadIwentintoBohemia，andfromPragueIsent
Antoniasomephotographsofhernativevillage。Monthsafterwardcame
aletterfromher，tellingmethenamesandagesofhermanychildren，
butlittleelse；signed，`Youroldfriend，AntoniaCuzak。"
WhenImetTinySoderballinSaltLake，shetoldmethatAntoniahadnot
`doneverywell"；thatherhusbandwasnotamanofmuchforce，andshe
hadhadahardlife。Perhapsitwascowardicethatkeptmeawaysolong。
MybusinesstookmeWestseveraltimeseveryyear，anditwasalways
inthebackofmymindthatIwouldstopinNebraskasomedayandgo
toseeAntonia。ButIkeptputtingitoffuntilthenexttrip。
Ididnotwanttofindheragedandbroken；Ireallydreadedit。
Inthecourseoftwentycrowdedyearsonepartswithmanyillusions。
Ididnotwishtolosetheearlyones。Somememoriesarerealities，
andarebetterthananythingthatcaneverhappentooneagain。
IoweittoLenaLingardthatIwenttoseeAntoniaatlast。
IwasinSanFranciscotwosummersagowhenbothLenaandTiny
Soderballwereintown。Tinylivesinahouseofherown，
andLena"sshopisinanapartmenthousejustaroundthecorner。
Itinterestedme，aftersomanyyears，toseethetwowomentogether。
TinyauditsLena"saccountsoccasionally，andinvestshermoneyforher；
andLena，apparently，takescarethatTinydoesn"tgrowtoomiserly。
`Ifthere"sanythingIcan"tstand，"shesaidtomeinTiny"spresence，
`it"sashabbyrichwoman。"TinysmiledgrimlyandassuredmethatLena
wouldneverbeeithershabbyorrich。`AndIdon"twanttobe，"
theotheragreedcomplacently。
LenagavemeacheerfulaccountofAntoniaandurgedmetomake
heravisit。
`Youreallyoughttogo，Jim。Itwouldbesuchasatisfactiontoher。
NevermindwhatTinysays。There"snothingthematterwithCuzak。
You"dlikehim。Heisn"tahustler，butaroughmanwouldneverhave
suitedTony。Tonyhasnicechildren——tenorelevenofthembythistime，
Iguess。Ishouldn"tcareforafamilyofthatsizemyself，butsomehow
it"sjustrightforTony。She"dlovetoshowthemtoyou。"
OnmywayEastIbrokemyjourneyatHastings，inNebraska，
andsetoffwithanopenbuggyandafairlygoodliveryteam
tofindtheCuzakfarm。Atalittlepastmidday，IknewImust
benearingmydestination。Setbackonaswelloflandatmyright，
Isawawidefarm-house，witharedbarnandanashgrove，
andcattle-yardsinfrontthatslopeddowntothehighroad。
IdrewupmyhorsesandwaswonderingwhetherIshoulddriveinhere，
whenIheardlowvoices。Aheadofme，inaplumthicketbeside
theroad，Isawtwoboysbendingoveradeaddog。Thelittleone，
notmorethanfourorfive，wasonhisknees，hishandsfolded，
andhisclose-clipped，bareheaddroopingforwardindeepdejection。
Theotherstoodbesidehim，ahandonhisshoulder，andwas
comfortinghiminalanguageIhadnotheardforalongwhile。
WhenIstoppedmyhorsesoppositethem，theolderboytookhis
brotherbythehandandcametowardme。He，too，lookedgrave。
Thiswasevidentlyasadafternoonforthem。`AreyouMrs。Cuzak"sboys？"Iasked。
Theyoungeronedidnotlookup；hewassubmergedinhisownfeelings，
buthisbrothermetmewithintelligentgreyeyes。`Yes，sir。"
`Doessheliveupthereonthehill？Iamgoingtoseeher。
Getinandrideupwithme。"
Heglancedathisreluctantlittlebrother。`Iguesswe"dbetterwalk。
Butwe"llopenthegateforyou。"
Idrovealongtheside-roadandtheyfollowedslowlybehind。
WhenIpulledupatthewindmill，anotherboy，barefootedand
curly-headed，ranoutofthebarntotiemyteamforme。
Hewasahandsomeone，thischap，fair-skinnedandfreckled，
withredcheeksandaruddypeltasthickasalamb"swool，
growingdownonhisneckinlittletufts。Hetiedmyteam
withtwoflourishesofhishands，andnoddedwhenIaskedhim
ifhismotherwasathome。Asheglancedatme，hisface
dimpledwithaseizureofirrelevantmerriment，andheshotup
thewindmilltowerwithalightnessthatstruckmeasdisdainful。
IknewhewaspeeringdownatmeasIwalkedtowardthehouse。
Ducksandgeeseranquackingacrossmypath。Whitecatsweresunning
themselvesamongyellowpumpkinsontheporchsteps。Ilooked
throughthewirescreenintoabig，lightkitchenwithawhitefloor。
Isawalongtable，rowsofwoodenchairsagainstthewall，
andashiningrangeinonecorner。Twogirlswerewashing
dishesatthesink，laughingandchattering，andalittleone，
inashortpinafore，satonastoolplayingwitharagbaby。
WhenIaskedfortheirmother，oneofthegirlsdroppedhertowel，
ranacrossthefloorwithnoiselessbarefeet，anddisappeared。
Theolderone，whoworeshoesandstockings，cametothedoortoadmitme。
Shewasabuxomgirlwithdarkhairandeyes，calmandself-possessed。`Won"tyoucomein？Motherwillbehereinaminute。"
BeforeIcouldsitdowninthechairsheofferedme，themiracle
happened；oneofthosequietmomentsthatclutchtheheart，
andtakemorecouragethanthenoisy，excitedpassagesinlife。
Antoniacameinandstoodbeforeme；astalwart，brownwoman，
flat-chested，hercurlybrownhairalittlegrizzled。
Itwasashock，ofcourse。Italwaysis，tomeetpeople
afterlongyears，especiallyiftheyhavelivedasmuchand
ashardasthiswomanhad。Westoodlookingateachother。
Theeyesthatpeeredanxiouslyatmewere——simplyAntonia"seyes。
IhadseennootherslikethemsinceIlookedintothemlast，
thoughIhadlookedatsomanythousandsofhumanfaces。
AsIconfrontedher，thechangesgrewlessapparenttome，
heridentitystronger。Shewasthere，inthefullvigour
ofherpersonality，batteredbutnotdiminished，lookingatme，
speakingtomeinthehusky，breathyvoiceIrememberedsowell。`Myhusband"snotathome，sir。CanIdoanything？"`Don"tyourememberme，Antonia？HaveIchangedsomuch？"
Shefrownedintotheslantingsunlightthatmadeherbrown
hairlookredderthanitwas。Suddenlyhereyeswidened，
herwholefaceseemedtogrowbroader。Shecaughtherbreath
andputouttwohard-workedhands。
`Why，it"sJim！Anna，Yulka，it"sJimBurden！"
Shehadnosoonercaughtmyhandsthanshelookedalarmed。
`What"shappened？Isanybodydead？"Ipattedherarm。
`No。Ididn"tcometoafuneralthistime。IgotoffthetrainatHastings
anddrovedowntoseeyouandyourfamily。"
Shedroppedmyhandandbeganrushingabout。`Anton，Yulka，
Nina，whereareyouall？Run，Anna，andhuntfortheboys。
They"reofflookingforthatdog，somewhere。AndcallLeo。
WhereisthatLeo！"Shepulledthemoutofcornersandcame
bringingthemlikeamothercatbringinginherkittens。
`Youdon"thavetogorightoff，Jim？Myoldestboy"snothere。
He"sgonewithpapatothestreetfairatWilber。Iwon"tlet
yougo！You"vegottostayandseeRudolphandourpapa。"
Shelookedatmeimploringly，pantingwithexcitement。
WhileIreassuredherandtoldhertherewouldbeplentyoftime，
thebarefootedboysfromoutsidewereslippingintothekitchen
andgatheringabouther。`Now，tellmetheirnames，andhowoldtheyare。"
Asshetoldthemoffinturn，shemadeseveralmistakesaboutages，
andtheyroaredwithlaughter。Whenshecametomylight-footed
friendofthewindmill，shesaid，`ThisisLeo，andhe"soldenough
tobebetterthanheis。"
Heranuptoherandbuttedherplayfullywithhiscurlyhead，
likealittleram，buthisvoicewasquitedesperate。
`You"veforgot！Youalwaysforgetmine。It"smean！
Pleasetellhim，mother！"Heclenchedhisfistsinvexation
andlookedupatherimpetuously。
Shewoundherforefingerinhisyellowfleeceandpulledit，watchinghim。
`Well，howoldareyou？"
`I"mtwelve，"hepanted，lookingnotatmebutather；`I"mtwelveyearsold，
andIwasbornonEasterDay！"Shenoddedtome。`It"strue。HewasanEasterbaby。"
Thechildrenalllookedatme，asiftheyexpectedme
toexhibitastonishmentordelightatthisinformation。
Clearly，theywereproudofeachother，andofbeingsomany。
Whentheyhadallbeenintroduced，Anna，theeldestdaughter，
whohadmetmeatthedoor，scatteredthemgently，andcame
bringingawhiteapronwhichshetiedroundhermother"swaist。
`Now，mother，sitdownandtalktoMr。Burden。We"llfinish
thedishesquietlyandnotdisturbyou。"
Antonialookedabout，quitedistracted。`Yes，child，butwhydon"twetake
himintotheparlour，nowthatwe"vegotaniceparlourforcompany？"
Thedaughterlaughedindulgently，andtookmyhatfromme。
`Well，you"rehere，now，mother，andifyoutalkhere，YulkaandI
canlisten，too。Youcanshowhimtheparlourafterwhile。"
Shesmiledatme，andwentbacktothedishes，withhersister。
Thelittlegirlwiththeragdollfoundaplaceonthebottomstep
ofanenclosedbackstairway，andsatwithhertoescurledup，
lookingoutatusexpectantly。
`She"sNina，afterNinaHarling，"Antoniaexplained。
`Ain"thereyeslikeNina"s？Ideclare，Jim，Ilovedyouchildren
almostasmuchasIlovemyown。Thesechildrenknowallabout
youandCharleyandSally，likeasifthey"dgrownupwithyou。
Ican"tthinkofwhatIwanttosay，you"vegotmesostirredup。
Andthen，I"veforgotmyEnglishso。Idon"toftentalkit
anymore。ItellthechildrenIusedtospeakrealwell。"
ShesaidtheyalwaysspokeBohemianathome。Thelittleones
couldnotspeakEnglishatall——didn"tlearnituntilthey
wenttoschool。
`Ican"tbelieveit"syou，sittinghere，inmyownkitchen。
Youwouldn"thaveknownme，wouldyou，Jim？You"vekept
soyoung，yourself。Butit"seasierforaman。Ican"tsee
howmyAntonlooksanyolderthanthedayImarriedhim。
Histeethhavekeptsonice。Ihaven"tgotmanyleft。
ButIfeeljustasyoungasIusedto，andIcandoasmuchwork。
Oh，wedon"thavetoworksohardnow！We"vegotplenty
tohelpus，papaandme。Andhowmanyhaveyougot，Jim？"
WhenItoldherIhadnochildren，sheseemedembarrassed。
`Oh，ain"tthattoobad！Maybeyoucouldtakeoneofmybadones，now？
ThatLeo；he"stheworstofall。"Sheleanedtowardmewithasmile。
`AndIlovehimthebest，"shewhispered。`Mother！"thetwogirlsmurmuredreproachfullyfromthedishes。
Antoniathrewupherheadandlaughed。`Ican"thelpit。
YouknowIdo。Maybeit"sbecausehecameonEasterDay，Idon"tknow。
Andhe"sneveroutofmischiefoneminute！"
Iwasthinking，asIwatchedher，howlittleitmattered——
aboutherteeth，forinstance。Iknowsomanywomenwhohavekept
allthethingsthatshehadlost，butwhoseinnerglowhasfaded。
Whateverelsewasgone，Antoniahadnotlostthefireoflife。
Herskin，sobrownandhardened，hadnotthatlookofflabbiness，
asifthesapbeneathithadbeensecretlydrawnaway。
Whileweweretalking，thelittleboywhomtheycalledJancameinand
satdownonthestepbesideNina，underthehoodofthestairway。
Heworeafunnylongginghamapron，likeasmock，overhistrousers，
andhishairwasclippedsoshortthathisheadlookedwhiteandnaked。
Hewatchedusoutofhisbig，sorrowfulgreyeyes。
`Hewantstotellyouaboutthedog，mother。Theyfounditdead，"
Annasaid，asshepassedusonherwaytothecupboard。
Antoniabeckonedtheboytoher。Hestoodbyherchair，
leaninghiselbowsonherkneesandtwistingherapronstringsinhis
slenderfingers，whilehetoldherhisstorysoftlyinBohemian，
andthetearsbrimmedoverandhungonhislonglashes。
Hismotherlistened，spokesoothinglytohimandinawhisper
promisedhimsomethingthatmadehimgiveheraquick，tearysmile。
HeslippedawayandwhisperedhissecrettoNina，sittingclose
toherandtalkingbehindhishand。
WhenAnnafinishedherworkandhadwashedherhands，
shecameandstoodbehindhermother"schair。`Whydon"twe
showMr。Burdenournewfruitcave？"sheasked。
Westartedoffacrosstheyardwiththechildrenatourheels。
Theboyswerestandingbythewindmill，talkingaboutthedog；
someofthemranaheadtoopenthecellardoor。Whenwedescended，
theyallcamedownafterus，andseemedquiteasproudofthecave
asthegirlswere。
Ambrosch，thethoughtful-lookingonewhohaddirectedmedownbytheplum
bushes，calledmyattentiontothestoutbrickwallsandthecementfloor。
`Yes，itisagoodwayfromthehouse，"headmitted。`But，yousee，inwinter
therearenearlyalwayssomeofusaroundtocomeoutandgetthings。"
AnnaandYulkashowedmethreesmallbarrels；onefullofdillpickles，
onefullofchoppedpickles，andonefullofpickledwatermelonrinds。
`Youwouldn"tbelieve，Jim，whatittakestofeedthemall！"
theirmotherexclaimed。`Yououghttoseethebreadwebakeon
WednesdaysandSaturdays！It"snowondertheirpoorpapacan"t
getrich，hehastobuysomuchsugarforustopreservewith。
Wehaveourownwheatgroundforflour——butthenthere"sthatmuch
lesstosell。"
NinaandJan，andalittlegirlnamedLucie，keptshylypointingouttome
theshelvesofglassjars。Theysaidnothing，but，glancingatme，
tracedontheglasswiththeirfinger-tipstheoutlineofthecherries
andstrawberriesandcrabappleswithin，tryingbyablissfulexpression
ofcountenancetogivemesomeideaoftheirdeliciousness。
`Showhimthespicedplums，mother。Americansdon"thavethose，"
saidoneoftheolderboys。`Motherusesthemtomakekolaches，"headded。Leo，inalowvoice，tossedoffsomescornfulremarkinBohemian。
Iturnedtohim。`YouthinkIdon"tknowwhatkolachesare，eh？
You"remistaken，youngman。I"veeatenyourmother"skolacheslong
beforethatEasterDaywhenyouwereborn。"`Alwaystoofresh，Leo，"Ambroschremarkedwithashrug。Leodivedbehindhismotherandgrinnedoutatme。
Weturnedtoleavethecave；AntoniaandIwentupthestairsfirst，
andthechildrenwaited。Wewerestandingoutsidetalking，
whentheyallcamerunningupthestepstogether，bigandlittle，
towheadsandgoldheadsandbrown，andflashinglittlenakedlegs；
averitableexplosionoflifeoutofthedarkcaveintothesunlight。
Itmademedizzyforamoment。
Theboysescortedustothefrontofthehouse，whichIhadn"t
yetseen；infarm-houses，somehow，lifecomesandgoesbythe
backdoor。Theroofwassosteepthattheeaveswerenotmuch
abovetheforestoftallhollyhocks，nowbrownandinseed。
ThroughJuly，Antoniasaid，thehousewasburiedinthem；
theBohemians，Iremembered，alwaysplantedhollyhocks。
Thefrontyardwasenclosedbyathornylocusthedge，andat
thegategrewtwosilvery，mothliketreesofthemimosafamily。
Fromhereonelookeddownoverthecattle-yards，withtheir
twolongponds，andoverawidestretchofstubblewhichthey
toldmewasaryefieldinsummer。
Atsomedistancebehindthehousewereanashgroveandtwoorchards:
acherryorchard，withgooseberryandcurrantbushesbetweentherows，
andanappleorchard，shelteredbyahighhedgefromthehotwinds。
Theolderchildrenturnedbackwhenwereachedthehedge，butJanandNina
andLuciecreptthroughitbyaholeknownonlytothemselvesandhid
underthelow-branchingmulberrybushes。
Aswewalkedthroughtheappleorchard，grownupintallbluegrass，
Antoniakeptstoppingtotellmeaboutonetreeandanother。
`Ilovethemasiftheywerepeople，"shesaid，rubbingherhand
overthebark。`Therewasn"tatreeherewhenwefirstcame。
Weplantedeveryone，andusedtocarrywaterforthem，too——afterwe"d
beenworkinginthefieldsallday。Anton，hewasacityman，
andheusedtogetdiscouraged。ButIcouldn"tfeelsotired
thatIwouldn"tfretaboutthesetreeswhentherewasadrytime。
Theywereonmymindlikechildren。Manyanightafterhewasasleep
I"vegotupandcomeoutandcarriedwatertothepoorthings。
Andnow，yousee，wehavethegoodofthem。Mymanworkedin
theorangegrovesinFlorida，andheknowsallaboutgrafting。
Thereain"toneofourneighbourshasanorchardthatbearslikeours。"
Inthemiddleoftheorchardwecameuponagrapearbour，
withseatsbuiltalongthesidesandawarpedplanktable。
Thethreechildrenwerewaitingforusthere。Theylookedup
atmebashfullyandmadesomerequestoftheirmother。
`Theywantmetotellyouhowtheteacherhastheschoolpicnic
hereeveryyear。Thesedon"tgotoschoolyet，sotheythinkit"s
alllikethepicnic。"
AfterIhadadmiredthearboursufficiently，theyoungstersranaway
toanopenplacewheretherewasaroughjungleofFrenchpinks，
andsquatteddownamongthem，crawlingaboutandmeasuringwithastring。
`Janwantstoburyhisdogthere，"Antoniaexplained。
`Ihadtotellhimhecould。He"skindoflikeNinaHarling；
yourememberhowhardsheusedtotakelittlethings？
Hehasfunnynotions，likeher。"
Wesatdownandwatchedthem。Antonialeanedherelbowsonthetable。
Therewasthedeepestpeaceinthatorchard。Itwassurroundedbya
tripleenclosure；thewirefence，thenthehedgeofthornylocusts，
thenthemulberryhedgewhichkeptoutthehotwindsofsummer
andheldfasttotheprotectingsnowsofwinter。Thehedgeswere
sotallthatwecouldseenothingbuttheblueskyabovethem，
neitherthebarnroofnorthewindmill。Theafternoonsunpoured
downonusthroughthedryinggrapeleaves。Theorchardseemedfull
ofsun，likeacup，andwecouldsmelltheripeapplesonthetrees。
Thecrabshungonthebranchesasthickasbeadsonastring，
purple-red，withathinsilveryglazeoverthem。Somehensandducks
hadcreptthroughthehedgeandwerepeckingatthefallenapples。
Thedrakeswerehandsomefellows，withpinkishgreybodies，
theirheadsandneckscoveredwithiridescentgreenfeathers
whichgrewcloseandfull，changingtobluelikeapeacock"sneck。
Antoniasaidtheyalwaysremindedherofsoldiers——someuniform
shehadseenintheoldcountry，whenshewasachild。
`Arethereanyquailleftnow？"Iasked。Iremindedherhowshe
usedtogohuntingwithmethelastsummerbeforewemovedtotown。
`Youweren"tabadshot，Tony。Doyourememberhowyouusedtowant
torunawayandgoforduckswithCharleyHarlingandme？"
`Iknow，butI"mafraidtolookatagunnow。"Shepickedup
oneofthedrakesandruffledhisgreencapotewithherfingers。
`EversinceI"vehadchildren，Idon"tliketokillanything。
Itmakesmekindoffainttowringanoldgoose"sneck。
Ain"tthatstrange，Jim？"
`Idon"tknow。TheyoungQueenofItalysaidthesamethingonce，
toafriendofmine。Sheusedtobeagreathuntswoman，
butnowshefeelsasyoudo，andonlyshootsclaypigeons。"`ThenI"msureshe"sagoodmother，"Antoniasaidwarmly。
Shetoldmehowsheandherhusbandhadcomeouttothisnewcountry
whenthefarm-landwascheapandcouldbehadoneasypayments。
Thefirsttenyearswereahardstruggle。Herhusbandknew
verylittleaboutfarmingandoftengrewdiscouraged。
`We"dneverhavegotthroughifIhadn"tbeensostrong。
I"vealwayshadgoodhealth，thankGod，andIwasabletohelphim
inthefieldsuntilrightuptothetimebeforemybabiescame。
Ourchildrenweregoodabouttakingcareofeachother。
Martha，theoneyousawwhenshewasababy，wassuch
ahelptome，andshetrainedAnnatobejustlikeher。
MyMartha"smarriednow，andhasababyofherown。
Thinkofthat，Jim！
`No，Inevergotdown-hearted。Anton"sagoodman，andIloved
mychildrenandalwaysbelievedtheywouldturnoutwell。
Ibelongonafarm。I"mneverlonesomeherelikeIusedtobeintown。
YourememberwhatsadspellsIusedtohave，whenIdidn"tknow
whatwasthematterwithme？I"veneverhadthemouthere。
AndIdon"tmindworkabit，ifIdon"thavetoputupwithsadness。"
Sheleanedherchinonherhandandlookeddownthroughtheorchard，
wherethesunlightwasgrowingmoreandmoregolden。`Yououghtnevertohavegonetotown，Tony，"Isaid，wonderingather。Sheturnedtomeeagerly。
`Oh，I"mgladIwent！I"dneverhaveknownanythingaboutcooking
orhousekeepingifIhadn"t。IlearnednicewaysattheHarlings"，
andI"vebeenabletobringmychildrenupsomuchbetter。
Don"tyouthinktheyareprettywell-behavedforcountrychildren？
Ifithadn"tbeenforwhatMrs。Harlingtaughtme，IexpectI"dhave
broughtthemuplikewildrabbits。No，I"mgladIhadachancetolearn；
butI"mthankfulnoneofmydaughterswilleverhavetoworkout。
Thetroublewithmewas，Jim，Inevercouldbelieveharmof
anybodyIloved。"
Whileweweretalking，Antoniaassuredmethatshe
couldkeepmeforthenight。`We"veplentyofroom。
Twooftheboyssleepinthehaymowtillcoldweathercomes，
butthere"snoneedforit。Leoalwaysbegstosleepthere，
andAmbroschgoesalongtolookafterhim。"ItoldherIwouldliketosleepinthehaymow，withtheboys。
`Youcandojustasyouwantto。Thechestisfullofcleanblankets，
putawayforwinter。NowImustgo，ormygirlswillbedoingallthework，
andIwanttocookyoursuppermyself。"
Aswewenttowardthehouse，wemetAmbroschandAnton，
startingoffwiththeirmilking-pailstohuntthecows。
Ijoinedthem，andLeoaccompaniedusatsomedistance，
runningaheadandstartingupatusoutofclumpsofironweed，
calling，`I"majackrabbit，"or，`I"mabigbull-snake。"
Iwalkedbetweenthetwoolderboys——straight，well-madefellows，
withgoodheadsandcleareyes。Theytalkedabouttheirschool
andthenewteacher，toldmeaboutthecropsandtheharvest，
andhowmanysteerstheywouldfeedthatwinter。Theywereeasy
andconfidentialwithme，asifIwereanoldfriendofthefamily——
andnottooold。Ifeltlikeaboyintheircompany，andallmanner
offorgotteninterestsrevivedinme。Itseemed，afterall，
sonaturaltobewalkingalongabarbed-wirefencebesidethesunset，
towardaredpond，andtoseemyshadowmovingalongatmyright，
overtheclose-croppedgrass。
`Hasmothershownyouthepicturesyousentherfromtheoldcountry？"
Ambroschasked。`We"vehadthemframedandthey"rehungupintheparlour。
Shewassogladtogetthem。Idon"tbelieveIeversawhersopleased
aboutanything。"Therewasanoteofsimplegratitudeinhisvoicethatmade
mewishIhadgivenmoreoccasionforit。
Iputmyhandonhisshoulder。`Yourmother，youknow，
wasverymuchlovedbyallofus。Shewasabeautifulgirl。"
`Oh，weknow！"Theybothspoketogether；seemedalittle
surprisedthatIshouldthinkitnecessarytomentionthis。
`Everybodylikedher，didn"tthey？TheHarlingsandyourgrandmother，
andallthetownpeople。"
`Sometimes，"Iventured，`itdoesn"toccurtoboysthattheirmother
waseveryoungandpretty。"
`Oh，weknow！"theysaidagain，warmly。`She"snotveryoldnow，"
Ambroschadded。`Notmucholderthanyou。"
`Well，"Isaid，`ifyouweren"tnicetoher，IthinkI"dtakeaclubandgo
forthewholelotofyou。Icouldn"tstanditifyouboyswereinconsiderate，
orthoughtofherasifshewerejustsomebodywholookedafteryou。
YouseeIwasverymuchinlovewithyourmotheronce，andIknowthere"s
nobodylikeher。"Theboyslaughedandseemedpleasedandembarrassed。
`Shenevertoldusthat，"saidAnton。`Butshe"salwaystalked
lotsaboutyou，andaboutwhatgoodtimesyouusedtohave。
ShehasapictureofyouthatshecutoutoftheChicagopaperonce，
andLeosaysherecognizedyouwhenyoudroveuptothewindmill。
Youcan"ttellaboutLeo，though；sometimeshelikestobesmart。"
Webroughtthecowshometothecornernearestthebarn，andtheboys
milkedthemwhilenightcameon。Everythingwasasitshouldbe:
thestrongsmellofsunflowersandironweedinthedew，theclearblue
andgoldofthesky，theeveningstar，thepurrofthemilkintothepails，
thegruntsandsquealsofthepigsfightingovertheirsupper。
Ibegantofeelthelonelinessofthefarm-boyatevening，whenthechores
seemeverlastinglythesame，andtheworldsofaraway。
Whatatablefulwewereatsupper:twolongrowsofrestless
headsinthelamplight，andsomanyeyesfastenedexcitedlyupon
Antoniaasshesatattheheadofthetable，fillingtheplates
andstartingthedishesontheirway。Thechildrenwereseated
accordingtoasystem；alittleonenextanolderone，whowas
towatchoverhisbehaviourandtoseethathegothisfood。
AnnaandYulkalefttheirchairsfromtimetotimetobring
freshplatesofkolachesandpitchersofmilk。
Aftersupperwewentintotheparlour，sothatYulkaandLeo
couldplayforme。Antoniawentfirst，carryingthelamp。
Therewerenotnearlychairsenoughtogoround，
sotheyoungerchildrensatdownonthebarefloor。
LittleLuciewhisperedtomethattheyweregoingtohave
aparlourcarpetiftheygotninetycentsfortheirwheat。
Leo，withagooddealoffussing，gotouthisviolin。
ItwasoldMr。Shimerda"sinstrument，whichAntoniahadalwayskept，
anditwastoobigforhim。Butheplayedverywellfora
self-taughtboy。PoorYulka"seffortswerenotsosuccessful。
Whiletheywereplaying，littleNinagotupfromhercorner，
cameoutintothemiddleofthefloor，andbegantodo
aprettylittledanceontheboardswithherbarefeet。
Noonepaidtheleastattentiontoher，andwhenshewas
throughshestolebackandsatdownbyherbrother。
AntoniaspoketoLeoinBohemian。Hefrownedandwrinkleduphisface。
Heseemedtobetryingtopout，buthisattemptonlybroughtout
dimplesinunusualplaces。Aftertwistingandscrewingthekeys，
heplayedsomeBohemianairs，withouttheorgantoholdhimback，
andthatwentbetter。TheboywassorestlessthatIhadnothad
achancetolookathisfacebefore。Myfirstimpressionwasright；
hereallywasfaun-like。Hehadn"tmuchheadbehindhisears，
andhistawnyfleecegrewdownthicktothebackofhisneck。
Hiseyeswerenotfrankandwideapartlikethoseoftheotherboys，
butweredeep-set，gold-greenincolour，andseemedsensitivetothelight。
Hismothersaidhegothurtoftenerthanalltheothersputtogether。
Hewasalwaystryingtoridethecoltsbeforetheywerebroken，
teasingtheturkeygobbler，seeingjusthowmuchredthebullwould
standfor，orhowsharpthenewaxewas。
Aftertheconcertwasover，Antoniabroughtoutabigboxfulofphotographs:
sheandAntonintheirweddingclothes，holdinghands；herbrotherAmbrosch
andhisveryfatwife，whohadafarmofherown，andwhobossedherhusband，
Iwasdelightedtohear；thethreeBohemianMarysandtheirlargefamilies。
`Youwouldn"tbelievehowsteadythosegirlshaveturnedout，"
Antoniaremarked。`MarySvoboda"sthebestbutter-maker
inallthiscountry，andafinemanager。Herchildrenwill
haveagrandchance。"
AsAntoniaturnedoverthepicturestheyoungCuzaksstoodbehindherchair，
lookingoverhershoulderwithinterestedfaces。NinaandJan，
aftertryingtoseeroundthetallerones，quietlybroughtachair，
climbeduponit，andstoodclosetogether，looking。Thelittleboyforgot
hisshynessandgrinneddelightedlywhenfamiliarfacescameintoview。
InthegroupaboutAntoniaIwasconsciousofakindofphysicalharmony。
Theyleanedthiswayandthat，andwerenotafraidtotoucheachother。
Theycontemplatedthephotographswithpleasedrecognition；lookedat
someadmiringly，asifthesecharactersintheirmother"sgirlhoodhadbeen
remarkablepeople。Thelittlechildren，whocouldnotspeakEnglish，
murmuredcommentstoeachotherintheirricholdlanguage。
AntoniaheldoutaphotographofLenathathadcomefromSan
FranciscolastChristmas。`Doesshestilllooklikethat？
Shehasn"tbeenhomeforsixyearsnow。"Yes，itwasexactly
likeLena，Itoldher；acomelywoman，atrifletooplump，
inahatatrifletoolarge，butwiththeoldlazyeyes，
andtheolddimpledingenuousnessstilllurkingatthecorners
ofhermouth。
TherewasapictureofFrancesHarlinginabefroggedridingcostumethatI
rememberedwell。`Isn"tshefine！"thegirlsmurmured。Theyallassented。
OnecouldseethatFranceshadcomedownasaheroineinthefamilylegend。
OnlyLeowasunmoved。
`Andthere"sMr。Harling，inhisgrandfurcoat。Hewasawfullyrich，
wasn"the，mother？"
`Hewasn"tanyRockefeller，"putinMasterLeo，inaverylowtone，
whichremindedmeofthewayinwhichMrs。Shimerdahadoncesaid
thatmygrandfather`wasn"tJesus。"Hishabitualscepticismwas
likeadirectinheritancefromthatoldwoman。`Noneofyoursmartspeeches，"saidAmbroschseverely。
Leopokedoutasuppleredtongueathim，butamomentlaterbroke
intoagiggleatatintypeoftwomen，uncomfortablyseated，
withanawkward-lookingboyinbaggyclothesstandingbetweenthem:
JakeandOttoandI！Wehadittaken，Iremembered，whenwewent
toBlackHawkonthefirstFourthofJulyIspentinNebraska。
IwasgladtoseeJake"sgrinagain，andOtto"sferociousmoustaches。
TheyoungCuzaksknewallaboutthem。`Hemadegrandfather"scoffin，
didn"the？"Antonasked。
`Wasn"ttheygoodfellows，Jim？"Antonia"seyesfilled。
`TothisdayI"mashamedbecauseIquarrelledwithJakethatway。
Iwassaucyandimpertinenttohim，Leo，likeyouarewith
peoplesometimes，andIwishsomebodyhadmademebehave。"
`Wearen"tthroughwithyou，yet，"theywarnedme。
TheyproducedaphotographtakenjustbeforeIwentawaytocollege:
atallyouthinstripedtrousersandastrawhat，tryingtolook
easyandjaunty。
`Tellus，Mr。Burden，"saidCharley，`abouttherattleryoukilled
atthedog-town。Howlongwashe？Sometimesmothersayssixfeet
andsometimesshesaysfive。"
Thesechildrenseemedtobeuponverymuchthesametermswith
AntoniaastheHarlingchildrenhadbeensomanyyearsbefore。
Theyseemedtofeelthesameprideinher，andtolooktoher
forstoriesandentertainmentasweusedtodo。
Itwaseleveno"clockwhenIatlasttookmybagandsomeblankets
andstartedforthebarnwiththeboys。Theirmothercametothedoor
withus，andwetarriedforamomenttolookoutatthewhite
slopeofthecorralandthetwopondsasleepinthemoonlight，
andthelongsweepofthepastureunderthestar-sprinkledsky。
Theboystoldmetochoosemyownplaceinthehaymow，
andIlaydownbeforeabigwindow，leftopeninwarmweather，
thatlookedoutintothestars。AmbroschandLeocuddledupina
hay-cave，backundertheeaves，andlaygigglingandwhispering。
Theytickledeachotherandtossedandtumbledinthehay；
andthen，allatonce，asiftheyhadbeenshot，theywerestill。
Therewashardlyaminutebetweengigglesandblandslumber。
Ilayawakeforalongwhile，untiltheslow-movingmoonpassed
mywindowonitswayuptheheavens。Iwasthinkingabout
Antoniaandherchildren；aboutAnna"ssolicitudeforher，
Ambrosch"sgraveaffection，Leo"sjealous，animallittlelove。
Thatmoment，whentheyallcametumblingoutofthecaveinto
thelight，wasasightanymanmighthavecomefartosee。
Antoniahadalwaysbeenonetoleaveimagesinthemind
thatdidnotfade——thatgrewstrongerwithtime。
Inmymemorytherewasasuccessionofsuchpictures，
fixedthereliketheoldwoodcutsofone"sfirstprimer:
Antoniakickingherbarelegsagainstthesidesofmyponywhenwe
camehomeintriumphwithoursnake；Antoniainherblackshawl
andfurcap，asshestoodbyherfather"sgraveinthesnowstorm；
Antoniacominginwithherwork-teamalongtheeveningsky-line。
Shelentherselftoimmemorialhumanattitudeswhichwerecognize
byinstinctasuniversalandtrue。Ihadnotbeenmistaken。
Shewasabatteredwomannow，notalovelygirl；butshe
stillhadthatsomethingwhichfirestheimagination，
couldstillstopone"sbreathforamomentbyalookor
gesturethatsomehowrevealedthemeaningincommonthings。
Shehadonlytostandintheorchard，toputherhandona
littlecrabtreeandlookupattheapples，tomakeyoufeel
thegoodnessofplantingandtendingandharvestingatlast。
Allthestrongthingsofherheartcameoutinherbody，
thathadbeensotirelessinservinggenerousemotions。
Itwasnowonderthathersonsstoodtallandstraight。
Shewasarichmineoflife，likethefoundersofearlyraces。
II
WHENIAWOKEINTHEmorning，longbandsofsunshinewere
cominginatthewindowandreachingbackundertheeaves
wherethetwoboyslay。Leowaswideawakeandwastickling
hisbrother"slegwithadriedcone-flowerhehadpulled
outofthehay。Ambroschkickedathimandturnedover。
Iclosedmyeyesandpretendedtobeasleep。Leolayon
hisback，elevatedonefoot，andbeganexercisinghistoes。
Hepickedupdriedflowerswithhistoesandbrandishedthem
inthebeltofsunlight。Afterhehadamusedhimselfthus
forsometime，heroseononeelbowandbegantolookatme，
cautiously，thencritically，blinkinghiseyesinthelight。
Hisexpressionwasdroll；itdismissedmelightly。
`Thisoldfellowisnodifferentfromotherpeople。
Hedoesn"tknowmysecret。"Heseemedconsciousofpossessing
akeenerpowerofenjoymentthanotherpeople；hisquickrecognitions
madehimfranticallyimpatientofdeliberatejudgments。
Healwaysknewwhathewantedwithoutthinking。
Afterdressinginthehay，Iwashedmyfaceincoldwateratthewindmill。
BreakfastwasreadywhenIenteredthekitchen，andYulkawasbaking
griddle-cakes。Thethreeolderboyssetoffforthefieldsearly。
LeoandYulkaweretodrivetotowntomeettheirfather，whowould
returnfromWilberonthenoontrain。
`We"llonlyhavealunchatnoon，"Antoniasaid，
andcookthegeeseforsupper，whenourpapawillbehere。
IwishmyMarthacouldcomedowntoseeyou。TheyhaveaFord
carnow，andshedon"tseemsofarawayfrommeassheusedto。
Butherhusband"scrazyabouthisfarmandabouthaving
everythingjustright，andtheyalmostnevergetaway
exceptonSundays。He"sahandsomeboy，andhe"llberich
someday。Everythinghetakesholdofturnsoutwell。
Whentheybringthatbabyinhere，andunwraphim，helooks
likealittleprince；Marthatakescareofhimsobeautiful。
I"mreconciledtoherbeingawayfrommenow，butatfirstI
criedlikeIwasputtingherintohercoffin。"
Wewerealoneinthekitchen，exceptforAnna，whowaspouring
creamintothechurn。Shelookedupatme。`Yes，shedid。
Wewerejustashamedofmother。Shewentroundcrying，
whenMarthawassohappy，andtherestofuswereallglad。
Joecertainlywaspatientwithyou，mother。"
Antonianoddedandsmiledatherself。`Iknowitwassilly，
butIcouldn"thelpit。Iwantedherrighthere。
She"dneverbeenawayfrommeanightsinceshewasborn。
IfAntonhadmadetroubleaboutherwhenshewasababy，orwanted
metoleaveherwithmymother，Iwouldn"thavemarriedhim。
Icouldn"t。Buthealwayslovedherlikeshewashisown。"
`Ididn"tevenknowMarthawasn"tmyfullsisteruntilaftershe
wasengagedtoJoe，"Annatoldme。
Towardthemiddleoftheafternoon，thewagondrovein，withthefatherand
theeldestson。Iwassmokingintheorchard，andasIwentouttomeetthem，
Antoniacamerunningdownfromthehouseandhuggedthetwomenasifthey
hadbeenawayformonths。
`Papa，"interestedme，frommyfirstglimpseofhim。
Hewasshorterthanhisoldersons；acrumpledlittleman，
withrun-overboot-heels，andhecarriedoneshoulder
higherthantheother。Buthemovedveryquickly，
andtherewasanairofjauntylivelinessabouthim。
Hehadastrong，ruddycolour，thickblackhair，alittlegrizzled，
acurlymoustache，andredlips。Hissmileshowedthestrong
teethofwhichhiswifewassoproud，andashesawme
hislively，quizzicaleyestoldmethatheknewallaboutme。
Helookedlikeahumorousphilosopherwhohadhitchedupone
shoulderundertheburdensoflife，andgoneonhiswayhaving
agoodtimewhenhecould。Headvancedtomeetmeandgaveme
ahardhand，burnedredonthebackandheavilycoatedwithhair。
HeworehisSundayclothes，verythickandhotfortheweather，
anunstarchedwhiteshirt，andabluenecktiewithbig
whitedots，likealittleboy"s，tiedinaflowingbow。
Cuzakbeganatoncetotalkabouthisholiday——frompoliteness
hespokeinEnglish。
`Mama，Iwishyouhadseetheladydanceontheslack-wire
inthestreetatnight。Theythrowabrightlightonherand
shefloatthroughtheairsomethingbeautiful，likeabird！
Theyhaveadancingbear，likeintheoldcountry，andtwo-three
merry-go-around，andpeopleinballoons，andwhatyoucall
thebigwheel，Rudolph？"
`AFerriswheel，"Rudolphenteredtheconversationinadeepbaritonevoice。
Hewassixfoottwo，andhadachestlikeayoungblacksmith。
`Wewenttothebigdanceinthehallbehindthesaloonlastnight，
mother，andIdancedwithallthegirls，andsodidfather。
Ineversawsomanyprettygirls。ItwasaBohunkcrowd，forsure。
Wedidn"thearawordofEnglishonthestreet，exceptfromtheshowpeople，
didwe，papa？"
Cuzaknodded。`Andverymanysendwordtoyou，Antonia。
Youwillexcuse"——turningtome——`ifItellher。"Whilewewalked
towardthehouseherelatedincidentsanddeliveredmessages
inthetonguehespokefluently，andIdroppedalittlebehind，
curioustoknowwhattheirrelationshadbecome——orremained。
Thetwoseemedtobeontermsofeasyfriendliness，touched
withhumour。Clearly，shewastheimpulse，andhethecorrective。
Astheywentupthehillhekeptglancingathersidewise，
toseewhethershegothispoint，orhowshereceivedit。
Inoticedlaterthathealwayslookedatpeoplesidewise，
asawork-horsedoesatitsyokemate。Evenwhenhesatopposite
meinthekitchen，talking，hewouldturnhisheadalittle
towardtheclockorthestoveandlookatmefromtheside，
butwithfranknessandgoodnature。Thistrickdidnot
suggestduplicityorsecretiveness，butmerelylonghabit，
aswiththehorse。
HehadbroughtatintypeofhimselfandRudolphforAntonia"scollection，
andseveralpaperbagsofcandyforthechildren。Helookedalittle
disappointedwhenhiswifeshowedhimabigboxofcandyIhadgot
inDenver——shehadn"tletthechildrentouchitthenightbefore。
Heputhiscandyawayinthecupboard，`forwhensherains，"
andglancedatthebox，chuckling。`Iguessyoumusthavehear
abouthowmyfamilyain"tsosmall，"hesaid。
Cuzaksatdownbehindthestoveandwatchedhiswomenfolk
andthelittlechildrenwithequalamusement。Hethought
theywerenice，andhethoughttheywerefunny，evidently。
Hehadbeenoffdancingwiththegirlsandforgettingthathewas
anoldfellow，andnowhisfamilyrathersurprisedhim；heseemed
tothinkitajokethatallthesechildrenshouldbelongtohim。
Astheyoungeronesslippeduptohiminhisretreat，hekept
takingthingsoutofhispockets；pennydolls，awoodenclown，
aballoonpigthatwasinflatedbyawhistle。Hebeckonedto
thelittleboytheycalledJan，whisperedtohim，andpresented
himwithapapersnake，gently，soasnottostartlehim。
Lookingovertheboy"sheadhesaidtome，`Thisoneisbashful。
Hegetsleft。"
CuzakhadbroughthomewithhimarollofillustratedBohemianpapers。
Heopenedthemandbegantotellhiswifethenews，muchofwhichseemedto
relatetooneperson。IheardthenameVasakova，Vasakova，repeatedseveral
timeswithlivelyinterest，andpresentlyIaskedhimwhetherheweretalking
aboutthesinger，MariaVasak。
`Youknow？Youhaveheard，maybe？"heaskedincredulously。
WhenIassuredhimthatIhadheardher，hepointedouther
pictureandtoldmethatVasakhadbrokenherleg，climbingin
theAustrianAlps，andwouldnotbeabletofillherengagements。
HeseemeddelightedtofindthatIhadheardhersingin
LondonandinVienna；gotouthispipeandlitittoenjoy
ourtalkthebetter。ShecamefromhispartofPrague。
Hisfatherusedtomendhershoesforherwhenshewasastudent。
Cuzakquestionedmeaboutherlooks，herpopularity，hervoice；
butheparticularlywantedtoknowwhetherIhadnoticedher
tinyfeet，andwhetherIthoughtshehadsavedmuchmoney。
Shewasextravagant，ofcourse，buthehopedshewouldn"t
squandereverything，andhavenothingleftwhenshewasold。
Asayoungman，workinginWienn，hehadseenagoodmanyartists
whowereoldandpoor，makingoneglassofbeerlastallevening，
and`itwasnotverynice，that。"
Whentheboyscameinfrommilkingandfeeding，thelongtable
waslaid，andtwobrowngeese，stuffedwithapples，wereput
downsizzlingbeforeAntonia。Shebegantocarve，andRudolph，
whosatnexthismother，startedtheplatesontheirway。
Wheneverybodywasserved，helookedacrossthetableatme。
`HaveyoubeentoBlackHawklately，Mr。Burden？
ThenIwonderifyou"veheardabouttheCutters？"No，Ihadheardnothingatallaboutthem。
`Thenyoumusttellhim，son，thoughit"saterriblething
totalkaboutatsupper。Now，allyouchildrenbequiet，
Rudolphisgoingtotellaboutthemurder。"`Hurrah！Themurder！"thechildrenmurmured，lookingpleasedandinterested。
Rudolphtoldhisstoryingreatdetail，withoccasionalpromptings
fromhismotherorfather。
WickCutterandhiswifehadgoneonlivinginthehousethat
AntoniaandIknewsowell，andinthewayweknewsowell。
Theygrewtobeveryoldpeople。Heshrivelledup，
Antoniasaid，untilhelookedlikealittleoldyellowmonkey，
forhisbeardandhisfringeofhairneverchangedcolour。
Mrs。Cutterremainedflushedandwild-eyedaswehadknownher，
butastheyearspassedshebecameafflictedwithashakingpalsy
whichmadehernervousnodcontinuousinsteadofoccasional。
Herhandsweresouncertainthatshecouldnolongerdisfigurechina，
poorwoman！Asthecouplegrewolder，theyquarrelledmoreand
moreoftenabouttheultimatedispositionoftheir`property。"
Anewlawwaspassedinthestate，securingthesurviving
wifeathirdofherhusband"sestateunderallconditions。
CutterwastormentedbythefearthatMrs。Cutterwould
livelongerthanhe，andthateventuallyher`people，"
whomhehadalwayshatedsoviolently，wouldinherit。
Theirquarrelsonthissubjectpassedtheboundaryofthe
close-growingcedars，andwereheardinthestreetbywhoever
wishedtoloiterandlisten。
Onemorning，twoyearsago，Cutterwentintothehardwarestoreand
boughtapistol，sayinghewasgoingtoshootadog，andaddingthat
he`thoughthewouldtakeashotatanoldcatwhilehewasaboutit。"
(HerethechildreninterruptedRudolph"snarrativebysmotheredgiggles。)
Cutterwentoutbehindthehardwarestore，putupatarget，
practisedforanhourorso，andthenwenthome。Atsix
o"clockthatevening，whenseveralmenwerepassingtheCutter
houseontheirwayhometosupper，theyheardapistolshot。
Theypausedandwerelookingdoubtfullyatoneanother，
whenanothershotcamecrashingthroughanupstairswindow。
TheyranintothehouseandfoundWickCutterlyingon
asofainhisupstairsbedroom，withhisthroattornopen，
bleedingonarollofsheetshehadplacedbesidehishead。
`Walkin，gentlemen，"hesaidweakly。`Iamalive，yousee，
andcompetent。YouarewitnessesthatIhavesurvivedmywife。
Youwillfindherinherownroom。Pleasemakeyourexamination
atonce，sothattherewillbenomistake。"
Oneoftheneighbourstelephonedforadoctor，whiletheothers
wentintoMrs。Cutter"sroom。Shewaslyingonherbed，
inhernight-gownandwrapper，shotthroughtheheart。
Herhusbandmusthavecomeinwhileshewastakingherafternoon
napandshother，holdingtherevolvernearherbreast。
Hernight-gownwasburnedfromthepowder。
ThehorrifiedneighboursrushedbacktoCutter。Heopenedhiseyesand
saiddistinctly，`Mrs。Cutterisquitedead，gentlemen，andIamconscious。
Myaffairsareinorder。"Then，Rudolphsaid，`heletgoanddied。"
Onhisdeskthecoronerfoundaletter，datedatfiveo"clockthatafternoon。
Itstatedthathehadjustshothiswife；thatanywillshemightsecretly
havemadewouldbeinvalid，ashesurvivedher。Hemeanttoshoothimselfat
sixo"clockandwould，ifhehadstrength，fireashotthroughthewindowin
thehopethatpassersbymightcomeinandseehim`beforelifewasextinct，"
ashewrote。
`Now，wouldyouhavethoughtthatmanhadsuchacruelheart？"
Antoniaturnedtomeafterthestorywastold。`Togoanddo
thatpoorwomanoutofanycomfortshemighthavefromhismoney
afterhewasgone！"
`Didyoueverhearofanybodyelsethatkilledhimselfforspite，
Mr。Burden？"askedRudolph。
IadmittedthatIhadn"t。Everylawyerlearnsoverandover
howstrongamotivehatecanbe，butinmycollection
oflegalanecdotesIhadnothingtomatchthisone。
WhenIaskedhowmuchtheestateamountedto，Rudolphsaidit
wasalittleoverahundredthousanddollars。
Cuzakgavemeatwinkling，sidelongglance。`Thelawyers，
theygotagooddealofit，sure，"hesaidmerrily。
Ahundredthousanddollars；sothatwasthefortunethathadbeen
scrapedtogetherbysuchharddealing，andthatCutterhimself
haddiedforintheend！
AftersupperCuzakandItookastrollintheorchardandsat
downbythewindmilltosmoke。Hetoldmehisstoryasifit
weremybusinesstoknowit。
Hisfatherwasashoemaker，hisuncleafurrier，andhe，
beingayoungerson，wasapprenticedtothelatter"strade。
Younevergotanywhereworkingforyourrelatives，hesaid，
sowhenhewasajourneymanhewenttoViennaandworked
inabigfurshop，earninggoodmoney。Butayoungfellow
wholikedagoodtimedidn"tsaveanythinginVienna；therewere
toomanypleasantwaysofspendingeverynightwhathe"dmade
intheday。Afterthreeyearsthere，hecametoNewYork。
Hewasbadlyadvisedandwenttoworkonfursduringastrike，
whenthefactorieswereofferingbigwages。Thestrikerswon，
andCuzakwasblacklisted。Ashehadafewhundred
dollarsahead，hedecidedtogotoFloridaandraiseoranges。
Hehadalwaysthoughthewouldliketoraiseoranges！
Thesecondyearahardfrostkilledhisyounggrove，
andhefellillwithmalaria。HecametoNebraska
tovisithiscousin，AntonJelinek，andtolookabout。
Whenhebegantolookabout，hesawAntonia，andshewas
exactlythekindofgirlhehadalwaysbeenhuntingfor。
Theyweremarriedatonce，thoughhehadtoborrowmoney
fromhiscousintobuytheweddingring。
`Itwasaprettyhardjob，breakingupthisplaceandmaking
thefirstcropsgrow，"hesaid，pushingbackhishatandscratching
hisgrizzledhair。`SometimesIgitawfulsoreonthisplaceandwant
toquit，butmywifeshealwayssaywebetterstickitout。Thebabies
comealongprettyfast，soitlooklikeitbehardtomove，anyhow。
Iguessshewasright，allright。Wegotthisplaceclearnow。
Wepayonlytwentydollarsanacrethen，andIbeenofferedahundred。
Weboughtanotherquartertenyearsago，andwegotitmostpaidfor。
Wegotplentyboys；wecanworkalotofland。Yes，sheisagood
wifeforapoorman。Sheain"talwayssostrictwithme，neither。
SometimesmaybeIdrinkalittletoomuchbeerintown，andwhenI
comehomeshedon"tsaynothing。Shedon"taskmenoquestions。
Wealwaysgetalongfine，herandme，likeatfirst。
Thechildrendon"tmaketroublebetweenus，likesometimeshappens。"
Helitanotherpipeandpulledonitcontentedly。
IfoundCuzakamostcompanionablefellow。Heaskedmeagreatmany
questionsaboutmytripthroughBohemia，aboutViennaandtheRingstrasse
andthetheatres。
`Gee！Iliketogobackthereonce，whentheboysisbigenoughtofarm
theplace。SometimeswhenIreadthepapersfromtheoldcountry，
Iprettynearrunaway，"heconfessedwithalittlelaugh。
`IneverdidthinkhowIwouldbeasettledmanlikethis。"
Hewasstill，asAntoniasaid，acityman。Helikedtheatresandlighted
streetsandmusicandagameofdominoesaftertheday"sworkwasover。
Hissociabilitywasstrongerthanhisacquisitiveinstinct。
Helikedtolivedaybydayandnightbynight，sharingintheexcitement
ofthecrowd——Yethiswifehadmanagedtoholdhimhereonafarm，
inoneoftheloneliestcountriesintheworld。
Icouldseethelittlechap，sittinghereeveryeveningby
thewindmill，nursinghispipeandlisteningtothesilence；
thewheezeofthepump，thegruntingofthepigs，
anoccasionalsquawkingwhenthehensweredisturbedbyarat。
ItdidratherseemtomethatCuzakhadbeenmadetheinstrument
ofAntonia"sspecialmission。Thiswasafinelife，certainly，
butitwasn"tthekindoflifehehadwantedtolive。
Iwonderedwhetherthelifethatwasrightforonewasever
rightfortwo！
IaskedCuzakifhedidn"tfindithardtodowithoutthegay
companyhehadalwaysbeenusedto。Heknockedouthispipe
againstanupright，sighed，anddroppeditintohispocket。
`AtfirstIneargocrazywithlonesomeness，"hesaidfrankly，`butmywoman
isgotsuchawarmheart。Shealwaysmakeitasgoodformeasshecould。
Nowitain"tsobad；Icanbegintohavesomefunwithmyboys，already！"
Aswewalkedtowardthehouse，Cuzakcockedhishatjauntilyoverone
earandlookedupatthemoon。`Gee！"hesaidinahushedvoice，
asifhehadjustwakenedup，`itdon"tseemlikeIamawayfrom
theretwenty-sixyear！"
III
AFTERDINNERTHENEXTdayIsaidgood-byeanddrove
backtoHastingstotakethetrainforBlackHawk。
AntoniaandherchildrengatheredroundmybuggybeforeIstarted，
andeventhelittleoneslookedupatmewithfriendlyfaces。
LeoandAmbroschranaheadtoopenthelanegate。
WhenIreachedthebottomofthehill，Iglancedback。
Thegroupwasstilltherebythewindmill。Antoniawas
wavingherapron。
AtthegateAmbroschlingeredbesidemybuggy，restinghisarm
onthewheel-rim。Leoslippedthroughthefenceandranoff
intothepasture。
`That"slikehim，"hisbrothersaidwithashrug。`He"sacrazykid。
Maybehe"ssorrytohaveyougo，andmaybehe"sjealous。
He"sjealousofanybodymothermakesafussover，eventhepriest。"
IfoundIhatedtoleavethisboy，withhispleasantvoiceandhisfine
headandeyes。Helookedverymanlyashestoodtherewithoutahat，
thewindripplinghisshirtabouthisbrownneckandshoulders。
`Don"tforgetthatyouandRudolpharegoinghuntingwithmeup
ontheNiobraranextsummer，"Isaid。`Yourfather"sagreedtolet
youoffafterharvest。"
Hesmiled。`Iwon"tlikelyforget。I"veneverhadsuchanicething
offeredtomebefore。Idon"tknowwhatmakesyousonicetousboys，"
headded，blushing。`Oh，yes，youdo！"Isaid，gatheringupmyreins。
Hemadenoanswertothis，excepttosmileatmewithunabashed
pleasureandaffectionasIdroveaway。
MydayinBlackHawkwasdisappointing。Mostofmyoldfriends
weredeadorhadmovedaway。Strangechildren，whomeantnothing
tome，wereplayingintheHarlings"bigyardwhenIpassed；
themountainashhadbeencutdown，andonlyasproutingstump
wasleftofthetallLombardypoplarthatusedtoguardthegate。
Ihurriedon。TherestofthemorningIspentwithAntonJelinek，
underashadycottonwoodtreeintheyardbehindhissaloon。
WhileIwashavingmymiddaydinneratthehotel，Imetone
oftheoldlawyerswhowasstillinpractice，andhetookme
uptohisofficeandtalkedovertheCuttercasewithme。
Afterthat，Iscarcelyknewhowtoputinthetimeuntil
thenightexpresswasdue。
Itookalongwalknorthofthetown，outintothepastures
wherethelandwassoroughthatithadneverbeenploughedup，
andthelongredgrassofearlytimesstillgrewshaggyover
thedrawsandhillocks。OutthereIfeltathomeagain。
Overheadtheskywasthatindescribableblueofautumn；
brightandshadowless，hardasenamel。TothesouthIcould
seethedun-shadedriverbluffsthatusedtolooksobigtome，
andallaboutstretcheddryingcornfields，ofthepale-goldcolour，
Irememberedsowell。Russianthistleswereblowingacross
theuplandsandpilingagainstthewirefenceslikebarricades。
Alongthecattle-pathstheplumesofgoldenrodwerealready
fadingintosun-warmedvelvet，greywithgoldthreadsinit。
Ihadescapedfromthecuriousdepressionthathangsoverlittletowns，
andmymindwasfullofpleasantthings；tripsImeanttotake
withtheCuzakboys，intheBadLandsandupontheStinkingWater。
TherewereenoughCuzakstoplaywithforalongwhileyet。
Evenaftertheboysgrewup，therewouldalwaysbeCuzakhimself！
ImeanttotrampalongafewmilesoflightedstreetswithCuzak。
AsIwanderedoverthoseroughpastures，Ihadthegoodluck
tostumbleuponabitofthefirstroadthatwentfromBlack
Hawkouttothenorthcountry；tomygrandfather"sfarm，
thenontotheShimerdas"andtotheNorwegiansettlement。
Everywhereelseithadbeenploughedunderwhenthehighways
weresurveyed；thishalf-mileorsowithinthepasturefence
wasallthatwasleftofthatoldroadwhichusedtorunlikea
wildthingacrosstheopenprairie，clingingtothehighplaces
andcirclinganddoublinglikearabbitbeforethehounds。
Onthelevellandthetrackshadalmostdisappeared——weremere
shadingsinthegrass，andastrangerwouldnothavenoticedthem。
Butwherevertheroadhadcrossedadraw，itwaseasytofind。
Therainshadmadechannelsofthewheel-rutsandwashed
themsodeeplythatthesodhadneverhealedoverthem。
Theylookedlikegashestornbyagrizzly"sclaws，ontheslopes
wherethefarm-wagonsusedtolurchupoutofthehollowswithapull
thatbroughtcurlingmusclesonthesmoothhipsofthehorses。
Isatdownandwatchedthehaystacksturnrosyintheslantingsunlight。
ThiswastheroadoverwhichAntoniaandIcameonthatnight
whenwegotoffthetrainatBlackHawkandwerebeddeddownin
thestraw，wonderingchildren，beingtakenweknewnotwhither。
Ihadonlytoclosemyeyestoheartherumblingofthewagonsin
thedark，andtobeagainovercomebythatobliteratingstrangeness。
ThefeelingsofthatnightweresonearthatIcouldreachoutand
touchthemwithmyhand。Ihadthesenseofcominghometomyself，
andofhavingfoundoutwhatalittlecircleman"sexperienceis。
ForAntoniaandforme，thishadbeentheroadofDestiny；
hadtakenustothoseearlyaccidentsoffortunewhichpredetermined
forusallthatwecaneverbe。NowIunderstoodthatthesame
roadwastobringustogetheragain。Whateverwehadmissed，
wepossessedtogethertheprecious，theincommunicablepast。
THEEND