第7章

Inthemorningshegotupfromhersleeplessbed，seemedtoeatherbreakfast，andwentofftoherhospital。Thereshewashedupplatesanddishes，withastonyface，darkundertheeyes。

ThenewscametoPiersoninaletterfromThirza，receivedatlunch—

time。Hereaditwithadreadfulaching。Poor，poorlittleNollie！

Whatanawfultroubleforher！Andhe，too，wentabouthisworkwiththenightmarethoughtthathehadtobreakthenewstoherthatevening。Neverhadhefeltmorelonely，moredreadfullyinwantofthemotherofhischildren。Shewouldhaveknownhowtosoothe，howtocomfort。Onherheartthechildcouldhavesobbedawaygrief。

Andallthathour，fromseventoeight，whenhewasusuallyinreadinesstofulfilthefunctionsofGod’ssubstitutetohisparishioners，hespentinprayerofhisown，forguidancehowtoinflictandhealthisblow。When，atlast，Noelcame，heopened。

thedoortoherhimself，and，puttingbackthehairfromherforehead，said:"Comeinhereamoment，mydarling！"Noelfollowedhimintothestudy，andsatdown。"Iknowalready，Daddy。"Piersonwasmoredismayedbythisstoicismthanhewouldhavebeenbyanynaturaloutburst。Hestood，timidlystrokingherhair，murmuringtoherwhathehadsaidtoGratian，andtosomanyothersinthesedays:

"Thereisnodeath;lookforwardtoseeinghimagain;Godismerciful"Andhemarvelledatthecalmnessofthatpaleface——soyoung。

"Youareverybrave，mychild！"hesaid。

"There’snothingelsetobe，isthere？"

"Isn’tthereanythingIcandoforyou，Nollie？"

"No，Daddy。"

"Whendidyouseeit？"

"Lastnight。"Shehadalreadyknownfortwenty—fourhourswithouttellinghim！

"Haveyouprayed，mydarling？"

"No。"

"Try，Nollie！"

"No。"

"Ah，try！"

"Itwouldberidiculous，Daddy;youdon’tknow。"

Grievouslyupsetandbewildered，Piersonmovedawayfromher，andsaid:

"Youlookdreadfullytired。Wouldyoulikeahotbath，andyourdinnerinbed？"

"I’dlikesometea;that’sall。"Andshewentout。

Whenhehadseenthattheteahadgoneuptoher，hetoowentout;

and，movedbyalongingforwoman’shelp，tookacabtoLeila’sflat。

III

1

OnleavingtheconcertLeilaandJimmyForthadsecuredataxi;avehiclewhich，atnight，inwartime，hascertainadvantagesforthosewhodesiretobecomebetteracquainted。Vibration，sufficientnoise，darkness，areguaranteed;andallthatislackingforthefurtheranceofemotionisthescentofhoneysuckleandroses，orevenofthewhitefloweringcreeperwhichonthestoepatHighConstantiahadsmelledsomuchsweeterthanpetrol。

WhenLeilafoundherselfwithFortinthatlonelinesstowhichshehadbeenlookingforward，shewasovercomebyanaccessofnervoussilence。Shehadbeenpassingthroughastrangetimeforweekspast。

Everynightsheexaminedhersensationswithoutquiteunderstandingthemasyet。Whenawomancomestoherage，theworld—forceisliabletotakepossession，saying:

"Youwereyoung，youwerebeautiful，youstillhavebeauty，youarenot，cannotbe，old。Clingtoyouth，clingtobeauty;takeallyoucanget，beforeyourfacegetslinesandyourhairgrey;itisimpossiblethatyouhavebeenlovedforthelasttime。"

ToseeJimmyFortattheconcert，talkingtoNoel，hadbroughtthisemotiontoahead。Shewasnotofagrudgingnature，andcouldgenuinelyadmireNoel，buttheideathatJimmyFortmightalsoadmiredisturbedhergreatly。Hemustnot;itwasnotfair;hewastooold—

—besides，thegirlhadherboy;andshehadtakencarethatheshouldknowit。So，leaningtowardshim，whileabare—shoulderedyoungladysang，shehadwhispered:

"Penny？"

Andhehadwhisperedback:

"Tellyouafterwards。"

Thathadcomfortedher。Shewouldmakehimtakeherhome。Itwastimesheshowedherheart。

Andnow，inthecab，resolvedtomakeherfeelingsknown，insuddenshynessshefounditverydifficult。Love，towhichforquitethreeyearsshehadbeenastranger，wascometolifewithinher。Theknowledgewasatoncesosweet，andsodisturbing，thatshesatwithfaceaverted，unabletoturnthepreciousminutestoaccount。Theyarrivedattheflatwithouthavingdonemorethanagreethatthestreetsweredark，andthemoonbright。Shegotoutwithasenseofbewilderment，andsaidratherdesperately:

"Youmustcomeupandhaveacigarette。It’squiteearly，still。"

Hewentup。

"Waitjustaminute，"saidLeila。

Sittingtherewithhisdrinkandhiscigarette，hestaredatsomesunflowersinabowl——FamilleRose——andwaitedjustten;smilingalittle，recallingthenoseofthefairyprincess，andthedaintywayherlipsshapedthewordsshespoke。Ifshehadnothadthatluckyyoungdevilofasoldierboy，onewouldhavewantedtobucklehershoes，layone’scoatinthemudforher，orwhatevertheydidinfairytales。Onewouldhavewanted——ah！whatwouldonenothavewanted！Hangthatsoldierboy！Leilasaidhewastwenty—two。ByGeorge！howolditmadeamanfeelwhowasrisingforty，andtenderontheoff—fore！Nofairyprincessesforhim！Thenawhiffofperfumecametohisnostrils;and，lookingup，hesawLeilastandingbeforehim，inalonggarmentofdarksilk，whenceherwhitearmspeepedout。

"Anotherpenny？Doyourememberthesethings，Jimmy？TheMalaywomenusedtoweartheminCapeTown。Youcan’tthinkwhatareliefitistogetoutofmyslave’sdress。Oh！I’msosickofnursing！

Jimmy，Iwanttoliveagainalittle！"

Thegarmenthadtakenfifteenyearsoffherage，andagardenia，justwherethesilkcrossedonherbreast，seemednowhiterthanherskin。

Hewonderedwhimsicallywhetherithaddroppedtoheroutofthedark！

"Live？"hesaid。"Why！Don’tyoualways？"

Sheraisedherhandssothatthedarksilkfell，backfromthewholelengthofthosewhitearms。

"Ihaven’tlivedfortwoyears。Oh，Jimmy！Helpmetolivealittle！Life’ssoshort，now。"

Hereyesdisturbedhim，strainedandpathetic;thesightofherarms;

thescentoftheflowerdisturbedhim;hefelthischeeksgrowingwarm，andlookeddown。

Sheslippedsuddenlyforwardontoherkneesathisfeet，tookhishand，presseditwithbothofhers，andmurmured:

"Lovemealittle！Whatelseisthere？Oh！Jimmy，whatelseisthere？"

Andwiththescentoftheflower，crushedbytheirhands，stirringhissenses，Fortthought:’Ah，whatelseisthere，intheseforsakendays？’

ToJimmyFort，whohadasenseofhumour，andwasinsomesortaphilosopher，thehaphazardwaylifesettledthingsseldomfailedtoseemamusing。ButwhenhewalkedawayfromLeila’shewaspensive。

Shewasagoodsort，aprettycreature，asportswoman，anenchantress;but——shewasdecidedlymature。Andherehewas——

involvedinhelpingherto"live";involvedalmostalarmingly，fortherehadbeennomistakingthefactthatshehadreallyfalleninlovewithhim。

Thiswasflatteringandsweet。Timesweresad，andpleasurescarce，but——！Therovinginstinctwhichhadkepthim，fromhisyouthup，rollingabouttheworld，shiedinstinctivelyatbonds，howeverpleasant，thestrengthandthicknessofwhichhecouldnotgauge;or，wasitthatperhapsforthefirsttimeinhislifehehadbeenpeepingintofairylandoflate，andthisaffairwithLeilawasbynomeansfairyland？Hehadanotherreason，moreunconscious，foruneasiness。Hisheart，forallhiswanderings，wassoft，hehadalwaysfounditdifficulttohurtanyone，especiallyanyonewhodidhimthehonourtolovehim。Asortofpresentimentweighedonhimwhilehewalkedthemoonlitstreetsatthismostemptyhour，wheneventhelatetaxishadceasedtorun。Wouldshewanthimtomarryher？Woulditbehisduty，ifshedid？Andthenhefoundhimselfthinkingoftheconcert，andthatgirl’sface，listeningtothetaleshewastellingher。’Deucedqueerworld，’hethought，’thewaythingsgo！Iwonderwhatshewouldthinkofus，ifsheknew——andthatgoodpadre！Phew！’

Hemadesuchveryslowprogress，forfearofgivingwayinhisleg，andhavingtospendthenightonadoor—step，thathehadplentyoftimeforrumination;butsinceitbroughthimnoconfidencewhatever，hebeganatlasttofeel:’Well;itmightbealotworse。Takethegoodsthegodssendyouanddon’tfuss！’AndsuddenlyherememberedwithextremevividnessthatnightonthestoepatHighConstantia，andthoughtwithdismay:’Icouldhaveplungedinoverheadandearsthen;andnow——Ican’t！That’slifeallover！PoorLeila！Memiserum，too，perhaps——whoknows！’

IV

WhenLeilaopenedherdoortoEdwardPierson，hereyesweresmiling，andherlipsweresoft。Sheseemedtosmileandbesoftallover，andshetookbothhishands。Everythingwasapleasuretoherthatday，eventhesightofthissadface。Shewasinloveandwaslovedagain;hadapresentandafutureoncemore，notonlyherownfullpast;andshemustfinishwithEdwardinhalfanhour，forJimmywascoming。Shesatdownonthedivan，tookhishandinasisterlyway，andsaid:

"Tellme，Edward;Icanseeyou’reintrouble。Whatisit？"

"Noel。Theboyshewasfondofhasbeenkilled。"

Shedroppedhishand。

"Oh，no！Poorchild！It’stoocruel！"Tearsstartedupinhergreyeyes，andshetouchedthemwithatinyhandkerchief。"Poor，poorlittleNoel！Wassheveryfondofhim？"

"Averysudden，shortengagement;butI’mafraidshetakesitdesperatelytoheart。Idon’tknowhowtocomforther;onlyawomancould。Icametoaskyou:Doyouthinksheoughttogoonwithherwork？Whatdoyouthink，Leila？Ifeellost！"

Leila，gazingathim，thought:’Lost？Yes，youlooklost，mypoorEdward！’

"Ishouldlethergoon，"shesaid:"ithelps;it’stheonlythingthatdoeshelp。I’llseeifIcangetthemtolethercomeintothewards。Sheoughttobeintouchwithsufferingandthemen;thatkitchenworkwilltryherawfullyjustnow:Washeveryyoung？"

"Yes。Theywantedtogetmarried。Iwasopposedtoit。"

Leila’slipcurledeversolittle。’Youwouldbe！’shethought。

"Icouldn’tbeartothinkofNolliegivingherselfhastily，likethat;theyhadonlyknowneachotherthreeweeks。Itwasveryhardforme，Leila。Andthensuddenlyhewassenttothefront。"

ResentmentwelledupinLeila。Thekill—Joys！Asiflifedidn’tkilljoyfastenough！Hercousin’sfaceatthatmomentwasalmostabhorrenttoher，itsgentleperplexedgoodnessdarkenedandwarpedbythatmonkishlook。Sheturnedaway，glancedattheclockoverthehearth，andthought:’Yes，andhewouldstopJimmyandme！Hewouldsay:"Oh，no！dearLeila——youmustn’tlove——it’ssin！"HowIhatethatword！’

"Ithinkthemostdreadfulthinginlife，"shesaidabruptly，"isthewaypeoplesuppresstheirnaturalinstincts;whattheysuppressinthemselvestheymakeotherpeoplesuppresstoo，iftheycan;andthat’sthecauseofhalfthemiseryinthisworld。"

Thenatthesurpriseonhisfaceatthislittleoutburst，whosecausehecouldnotknow，sheaddedhastily:"IhopeNoelwillgetoveritquickly，andfindsomeoneelse。"

"Yes。Iftheyhadbeenmarried——howmuchworseitwouldhavebeen。

ThankGod，theyweren’t！"

"Idon’tknow。Theywouldhavehadanhourofbliss。Evenanhourofblissisworthsomethinginthesedays。"

"Tothosewhoonlybelieveinthis’life——perhaps。"

’Tenminutesmore！’shethought:’Oh，whydoesn’thego？’Butatthatverymomenthegotup，andinstantlyherheartwentouttohimagain。

"I’msosorry，Edward。IfIcanhelpinanyway——I’lltrymybestwithNoelto—morrow;anddocometomewheneveryoufeelinclined。"

Shetookhishandinhers;afraidthathewouldsitdownagain，sheyetcouldnothelpasoftglanceintohiseyes，andalittlerushofpityingwarmthinthepressureofherhand。

Piersonsmiled;thesmilewhichalwaysmadehersorryforhim。

"Good—bye，Leila;you’reverygoodandkindtome。Good—bye。"

Herbosomswelledwithreliefandcompassion;and——shelethimout。

Runningupstairsagainshethought:’I’vejusttime。WhatshallI

puton？PoorEdward，poorNoel！WhatcolourdoesJimmylike？Oh！

Whydidn’tIkeephimthosetenyearsago——whatutterwaste！’And，feverishlyadorningherself，shecamebacktothewindow，andstoodthereinthedarktowatch，whilesomejasminewhichgrewbelowsentupitsscenttoher。’WouldImarryhim？’shethought，’ifheaskedme？Buthewon’taskme——whyshouldhenow？Besides，Icouldn’tbearhimtofeelIwantedpositionormoneyfromhim。Ionlywantlove——love——love！’Thesilentrepetitionofthatwordgaveherawonderfulsenseofsolidityandcomfort。Solongassheonlywantedlove，surelyhewouldgiveit。

Atallfigureturneddownpastthechurch，comingtowardsher。Itwashe！Andsuddenlyshebethoughtherself。Shewenttothelittleblackpiano，satdown，andbegantosingthesongshehadsungtohimtenyearsago:"IfIcouldbethefallingdewandfallontheeallday！"Shedidnotevenlookroundwhenhecamein，butcontinuedtocroonoutthewords，consciousofhimjustbehindhershoulderinthedark。Butwhenshehadfinished，shegotupandthrewherarmsroundhim，strainedhimtoher，andburstintotearsonhisshoulder;

thinkingofNoelandthatdeadboy，thinkingofthemillionsofotherboys，thinkingofherownhappiness，thinkingofthosetenyearswasted，ofhowshortwaslife，andlove;thinking——hardlyknowingwhatshethought！AndJimmyFort，verymovedbythisemotionwhichheonlyhalfunderstood，pressedhertightlyinhisarms，andkissedherwetcheeksandherneck，paleandwarminthedarkness。

V

1

Noelwentonwithherworkforamonth，andthen，onemorning，faintedoverapileofdishes。Thenoiseattractedattention，andMrs。Lynchwassummoned。

ThesightofherlyingtheresodeadlywhitetaxedLeila’snervesseverely。Butthegirlrevivedquickly，andacabwassentfor。

Leilawentwithher，andtoldthedrivertostopatCamelotMansions。

Whytakeherhomeinthisstate，whynotsavethejolting，andletherrecoverproperly？Theywentupstairsarminarm。Leilamadeherliedownonthedivan，andputahot—waterbottletoherfeet。Noelwasstillsopassiveandpalethateventospeaktoherseemedacruelty。And，goingtoherlittlesideboard，LeilastealthilyextractedapintbottleofsomechampagnewhichJimmyForthadsentin，andtookitwithtwoglassesandacorkscrewintoherbedroom。

Shedrankalittleherself，andcameoutbearingaglasstothegirl。

Noelshookherhead，andhereyesseemedtosay:"DoyoureallythinkI’msoeasilymended？"ButLeilahadbeenthroughtoomuchinhertimetodespiseearthlyremedies，andsheheldittothegirl’slipsuntilshedrank。Itwasexcellentchampagne，and，sinceNoelhadneveryettouchedalcohol，hadaninstantaneouseffect。Hereyesbrightened;littleredspotscameupinhercheeks。Andsuddenlysherolledoverandburiedherfacedeepinacushion。Withhershorthair，shelookedsolikeachildlyingthere，thatLeilakneltdown，strokingherhead，andsaying:"There，there;mylove！There，there！"

Atlastthegirlraisedherself;nowthatthepallid，masklikedespairofthelastmonthwasbroken，sheseemedonfire，andherfacehadawildlook。She，withdrewherselffromLeila’stouch，and，crossingherarmstightlyacrossherchest，said:

"Ican’tbearit;Ican’tsleep。Iwanthimback;Ihatelife——

Ihatetheworld。Wehadn’tdoneanything——onlyjustlovedeachother。Godlikespunishing;justbecausewelovedeachother;wehadonlyonedaytoloveeachother——onlyoneday——onlyone！"

Leilacouldseethelongwhitethroatabovethoserigidarmsstrainingandswallowing;itgaveherachokyfeelingtowatchit。

Thevoice，uncannilydaintyforallthewildnessofthewordsandface，wenton:

"Iwon’t——Idon’twanttolive。Ifthere’sanotherlife，Ishallgotohim。Andifthereisn’t——it’sjustsleep。"

Leilaputoutherhandtowardofthesewildwanderings。Likemostwomenwholivesimplythelifeoftheirsensesandemotions，shewasorthodox;orratherneverspeculatedonsuchthings。

"Tellmeaboutyourselfandhim，"shesaid。

Noelfastenedhergreateyesonhercousin。"Welovedeachother;

andchildrenareborn，aren’tthey，afteryou’veloved？Butminewon’tbe！"Fromthelookonherfaceratherthanfromherwords，thefullrealityofhermeaningcametoLeila，vanished，cameagain。

Nonsense！But——whatanawfulthing，iftrue！Thatwhichhadalwaysseemedtohersuchanexaggeratedoccurrenceinthecommonwalksoflife——why！now，itwasatragedy！Instinctivelysheraisedherselfandputherarmsroundthegirl。

"Mypoordear！"shesaid;"you’refancyingthings！"

ThecolourhadfadedoutofNoel’sface，and，withherheadthrownbackandhereyelidshalf—closed，shelookedlikeascornfulyoungghost。

"Ifitis——Ishan’tlive。Idon’tmeanto——it’seasytodie。

Idon’tmeanDaddytoknow。"

"Oh！mydear，mydear！"wasallLeilacouldstammer。

"Wasitwrong，Leila？"

"Wrong？Idon’tknow——wrong？Ifitreallyisso——itwas——

unfortunate。Butsurely，surely——you’remistaken？"

Noelshookherhead。"Ididitsothatweshouldbelongtoeachother。Nothingcouldhavetakenhimfromme。"

Leilacaughtatthegirl’swords。

"Then，mydear——hehasn’tquitegonefromyou，yousee？"

Noel’slipsformeda"No"whichwasinaudible。"ButDaddy！"shewhispered。

Edward’sfacecamebeforeLeilasovividlythatshecouldhardlyseethegirlforthetorturedshapeofit。Thenthehedonistinherrevoltedagainstthatasceticvision。Herworldlyjudgmentcondemnedanddeploredthiscalamity，herinstinctcouldnothelpapplaudingthathouroflifeandlove，snatchedoutofthejawsofdeath。"Needheeverknow？"shesaid。

"IcouldneverlietoDaddy。Butitdoesn’tmatter。Whyshouldonegoonliving，whenlifeisrotten？"

Outsidethesunwasshiningbrightly，thoughitwaslateOctober。

Leilagotupfromherknees。Shestoodatthewindowthinkinghard。

"Mydear，"shesaidatlast，"youmustn’tgetmorbid。Lookatme！

I’vehadtwohusbands，and——and——well，aprettystormyupanddowntimeofit;andIdaresayI’vegotlotsoftroublebeforeme。ButI’mnotgoingtocavein。Normustyou。ThePiersonshaveplentyofpluck;youmustn’tbeatraitortoyourblood。That’sthelastthing。Yourboywouldhavetoldyoutostickit。Theseareyour’trenches，’andyou’renotgoingtobedowned，areyou？"

Aftershehadspokentherewasalongsilence，beforeNoelsaid:

"Givemeacigarette，Leila。"

Leilaproducedthelittleflatcaseshecarried。

"That’sbrave，"shesaid。"Nothing’sincurableatyourage。Onlyonething’sincurable——gettingold。"

Noellaughed。"That’scurabletoo，isn’tit？"

"Notwithoutsurrender。"

Againtherewasasilence，whilethebluefumefromtwocigarettesfast—smoked，rosetowardsthelowceiling。ThenNoelgotupfromthedivan，andwentovertothepiano。Shewasstillinherhospitaldressoflilac—colouredlinen，andwhileshestoodtheretouchingthekeys，playingachordnow，andthen，Leila’sheartfelthollowfromcompassion;shewassohappyherselfjustnow，andthischildsoverywretched！

"Playtome，"shesaid;"no——don’t;I’llplaytoyou。"Andsittingdown，shebegantoplayandsingalittleFrenchsong，whosefirstlineran:"Sionestjolie，joliecommevous。"Itwassoft，gay，charming。Ifthegirlcried，somuchthebetter。ButNoeldidnotcry。Sheseemedsuddenlytohaverecoveredallherself—possession。

Shespokecalmly，answeredLeila’squestionswithoutemotion，andsaidshewouldgohome。Leilawentoutwithher，andwalkedsomewayinthedirectionofherhome;distressed，butfranklyataloss。AtthebottomofPortlandPlaceNoelstoppedandsaid:"I’mquiteallrightnow，Leila;thankyouawfully。Ishalljustgohomeandliedown。AndIshallcometo—morrow，thesameasusual。Goodbye！"

Leilacouldonlygraspthegirl’shand，andsay:"Mydear，that’ssplendid。There’smanyaslip——besides，it’swar—time。"

Withthatsaying，enigmaticeventoherself，shewatchedthegirlmovingslowlyaway;andturnedbackherselftowardsherhospital，withadisturbedandcompassionateheart。

2

ButNoeldidnotgoeast;shewalkeddownRegentStreet。Shehadreceivedacertainmeasureofcomfort，beensteadiedbyherexperiencedcousin’svitality，andthenewthoughtssuggestedbythosewords:"Hehasn’tquitegonefromyou，hashe？""Besides，it’swar—time。"Leilahadspokenfreely，too，andthephysicalignoranceinwhichthegirlhadbeengropingtheselastweekswasnowremoved。

Likemostproudnatures，shedidnotnaturallythinkmuchabouttheopinionofotherpeople;besides，sheknewnothingoftheworld，itsfeelingsandjudgments。Hernightmarewasthethoughtofherfather’shorrorandgrief。Shetriedtolessenthatnightmarebyrememberinghisoppositiontohermarriage，andtheresentmentshehadfelt。Hehadneverrealised，neverunderstood，howsheandCyrilloved。Now，ifshewerereallygoingtohaveachild，itwouldbeCyril’s——Cyril’sson——Cyriloveragain。Theinstinctstrongerthanreason，refinement，tradition，upbringing，whichhadpushedheroninsuchhastetomakesureofunion——theirrepressiblepulseoflifefacedwithannihilation——seemedtorevivewithinher，andmakeherterriblesecretalmostprecious。Shehadreadabout"Warbabies"inthepapers，readwithadullcuriosity;butnowtheatmosphere，asitwere，ofthosewritingswasilluminedforher。Thesebabieswerewrong，werea"problem，"andyet，behindallthat，sheseemednowtoknowthatpeopleweregladofthem;theymadeup，theyfilledthegaps。Perhaps，whenshehadone，shewouldbeproud，secretlyproud，inspiteofeveryone，inspiteofherfather！TheyhadtriedtokillCyril——Godandeveryone;buttheyhadn’tbeenable，hewasalivewithinher！Aglowcameintoherface，walkingamongthebusyshoppingcrowd，andpeopleturnedtolookather;shehadthatappearanceofseeingnoone，nothing，whichisstrangeandattractivetothosewhohaveamomenttosparefromcontemplationoftheirownaffairs。Fullytwohoursshewanderedthus，beforegoingin，andonlylostthatexaltedfeelingwhen，inherownlittleroom，shehadtakenuphisphotograph，andwassittingonherbedgazingatit。

Shehadabadbreakdownthen。Lockedinthere，shelayonherbed，crying，dreadfullylonely，tillshefellasleepexhausted，withthetear—stainedphotographclutchedinhertwitchingfingers。Shewokewithastart。Itwasdark，andsomeonewasknockingonherdoor。

"MissNoel！"

Childishperversitykepthersilent。Whycouldn’ttheyleaveheralone？Theywouldleaveheraloneiftheyknew。Thensheheardanotherkindofknocking，andherfather’svoice:

"Nollie！Nollie！"

Shescrambledup，andopened。Helookedscared，andherheartsmoteher。

"It’sallright，Daddy;Iwasasleep。"

"Mydear，I’msorry，butdinner’sready。"

"Idon’twantanydinner;IthinkI’llgotobed。"

Thefrownbetweenhisbrowsdeepened。

"Youshouldn’tlockyourdoor，Nollie:Iwasquitefrightened。I

wentroundtothehospitaltobringyouhome，andtheytoldmeaboutyourfainting。Iwantyoutoseeadoctor。"

Noelshookherheadvigorously。"Oh，no！It’snothing！"

"Nothing？Tofaintlikethat？Come，mychild。Topleaseme。"Hetookherfaceinhishands。Noelshrankaway。

"No，Daddy。Iwon’tseeadoctor。Extravaganceinwartime！I

won’t。It’snogoodtryingtomakeme。I’llcomedownifyoulike;

Ishallbeallrightto—morrow。"

WiththisPiersonhadtobecontent;but，oftenthatevening，shesawhimlookingatheranxiously。Andwhenshewentup，hecameoutofhisstudy，followedtoherroom，andinsistedonlightingherfire。

Kissingheratthedoor，hesaidveryquietly:

"IwishIcouldbeamothertoyou，mychild！"

ForamomentitflashedthroughNoel:’Heknows！’then，bythepuzzledlookonhisface，sheknewthathedidnot。Ifonlyhedidknow;whataweightitwouldbeoffhermind！Butsheansweredquietlytoo;"Goodnight，Daddydear！"kissedhim，andshutthedoor。

Shesatdownbeforethelittlenewfire，andspreadherhandsouttoit;allwassocoldandwintryinherheart。Andthefirelightflickeredonherface，whereshadowslaythickunderhereyes，foralltheroundnessofhercheeks，andonherslimpalehands，andthesupplegraceofheryoungbody。Andoutinthenight，cloudsracedoverthemoon，whichhadcomefulloncemore。