第2章
THEWORLDWITHOUT
Certainpeopleofimportance。
SCENE-Smoking-roomoftheDegchiClub。Time，10。30P。M。ofastuffynightintheRains。Fourmendispersedinpicturesqueattitudesandeasy-chairs。TotheseenterBLAYNEoftheIrregularMoguls，ineveningdress。
BLAYNE。Phew！TheJudgeoughttobehangedinhisownstore-godown。Hi，khitmatgarlPoorawhiskey-peg，totakethetasteoutofmymouth。
CURTISS。（RoyalArtillery。）That"sit，isit？WhatthedeucemadeyoudineattheJudge"s？Youknowhisbandobust。
BLAYNE。"Thoughtitcouldn"tbeworsethantheClub，butI"llswearhebuysullagedliquoranddoctorsitwithginandink（lookingroundtheroom。）Isthisallofyouto-night？
DOONE。（P。W。D。）Anthonywascalledoutatdinner。Minglehadapaininhistummy。
CURTISS。MiggydiesofcholeraonceaweekintheRains，andgetsdrunkonchlorodyneinbetween。"Goodlittlechap，though。
AnyoneattheJudge"s，Blayne？
BLAYNE。Cockleyandhismemsahiblookingawfullywhiteandfagged。"F（"。malegirl-couldn"tcatchthename-onherwaytotheHills，undertheCockleys"charge-theJudge，andMarkynfreshfromSimla-disgustinglyfit。
CURTISS。GoodLord，howtrulymagnificent！Wasthereenoughice？WhenImangledgarbagethereIgotonewholelump-nearlyasbigasawalnut。WhathadMarkyntosayforhimself？
BLAYNE。"Seemsthateveryoneishavingafairlygoodtimeupthereinspiteoftherain。ByJove，thatremindsme！IknowI
hadn"tcomeacrossjustforthepleasureofyoursociety。News！
Greatnews！Markyntoldme。
DOONE。Who"sdeadnow？
BLAYNE。NoonethatIknowof；butGandy"shookedatlast！
DROPPINGCHORUS。Howmuch？TheDevil！Markynwaspullingyourleg。NotGANDY！
BLAYNE。（Humming。）"Yea，verily，verily，verily！Verily，verily，Isayuntothee。"Theodore，thegifto"God！OurPhillup！It"sbeengivenoutupabove。
MACKESY。（Barrister-at-Law。）Huh！Womenwillgiveoutanything。Whatdoesaccusedsay？
BLAYNE。Markyntoldmethathecongratulatedhimwarily-onehandheldout，t"otherreadytoguard。Gandyturnedpinkandsaiditwasso。
CURTISS。PooroldCaddy！Theyalldoit。Who"sshe？Let"shearthedetails。
BLAYNE。She"sagirl-daughterofaColonelSomebody。
DOONE。Simla"sstiffwithColonels"daughters。Bemoreexplicit。
BLAYNE。Waitashake。Whatwashername？Thresomething。
Three-
CURTISS。Stars，perhaps。Caddyknowsthatbrand。
BLAYNE。Threegan-MinnieThreegan。
MACKESY。ThreeganIsn"tshealittlebitofagirlwithredhair？
BLAYNE。"Boutthat-fromwhatfromwhatMarkynsaid。
MACKESY。ThenI"vemether。ShewasatLucknowlastseason。
"OwnedapermanentlyjuvenileMamma，anddanceddamnably。I
say，Jervoise，youknewtheThreegans，didn"tyou？
JERVOISE。（Civilianoftwenty-fiveyears"service，wakingupfromhisdoze。）Eh？What"sthat？Knewwho？How？IthoughtIwasatHome，confoundyou！
MACKESY。TheThreegangirl"sengaged，soBlaynesays。
JERVOISE。（Slowly。）Engaged-en-gaged！Blessmysoul！I"mgettinganoldman！LittleMinnieThreeganengaged。ItwasonlytheotherdayIwenthomewiththemintheSurat-no，theMassilia-
andshewascrawlingaboutonherhandsandkneesamongtheayahs。"Usedtocallmethe"TickTackSakib"becauseIshowedhermywatch。AndthatwasinSixty-Seven-no，Seventy。GoodGod，howtimeflies！I"manoldman。IrememberwhenThreeganmarriedMissDerwent-daughterofoldHookyDerwent-butthatwasbeforeyourtime。Andsothelittlebaby"sengagedtohavealittlebabyofherown！Who"stheotherfool？
MACKESY。GadsbyofthePinkHussars。
JERVOISE。"Nevermethim。Threeganlivedindebt，marriedindebt，and"lldieindebt。"Mustbegladtogetthegirloffhishands。
BLAYNE。Caddyhasmoney-luckydevil。PlaceatHome，too。
DOONE。Hecomesoffirst-classstock。"Can"tquiteunderstandhisbeingcaughtbyaColonel"sdaughter，and（lookingcautiouslyroundroom。）BlackInfantryatthat！Nooffencetoyou，Blayne。
BLAYNE。（Stiffly。）Notmuch，thaanks。
CURTISS。（QuotingmottoofIrregularMoguls。）"Wearewhatweare，"eh，oldman？ButGandywassuchasuperioranimalasarule。
Whydidn"thegoHomeandpickhiswifethere？
MACKESY。Theyareallalikewhentheycometotheturnintothestraight。Aboutthirtyamanbeginstogetsickoflivingalone。
CURTISS。Andoftheeternalmuttony-chopinthemorning。
DOONE。It"sadeadgoatasarule，butgoon，Mackesy。
MACKESY。Ifaman"soncetakenthatwaynothingwillholdhim，DoyourememberBenoitofyourservice，Doone？TheytransferredhimtoTharandawhenhistimecame，andhemarriedaplatelayer"sdaughter，orsomethingofthatkind。Shewastheonlyfemaleabouttheplace。
DONE。Yes，poorbrute。ThatsmashedBenoit"schancesofpromotionaltogether。Mrs。Benoitusedtoask"Wasyougem"tothedancethisevenin"？"
CURTISS。Hangitall！Gandyhasn"tmarriedbeneathhim。There"snotarbrushinthefamily，Isuppose。
JERVOISE。Tar-brush！Notananna。Youyoungfellowstalkasthoughthemanwasdoingthegirlanhonorinmarryingher。
You"realltooconceited-nothing"sgoodenoughforyou。
BLAYNE。NotevenanemptyClub，adam"baddinnerattheJudge"s，andaStationassicklyasahospital。You"requiteright。
We"reasetofSybarites。
DOONE。Luxuriousdogs，wallowingin-
CURTISS。Pricklyheatbetweentheshoulders。I"mcoveredwithit。Let"shopeBeorawillbecooler。
BLAYNE。Whew！Areyouorderedintocamp，too？IthoughttheGunnershadacleansheet。
CURTISS。No，worseluck。Twocasesyesterday-onedied-andifwehaveathird，outwego。IsthereanyshootingatBeora，Doone？
DOONE。Thecountry"sunderwater，exceptthepatchbytheGrandTrunkRoad。Iwasthereyesterday，lookingatabund，andcameacrossfourpoordevilsintheirlaststage。It"sratherbadfromheretoKuchara。
CURTISS。Thenwe"reprettycertaintohaveaheavygoofit。
Heigho！Ishouldn"tmindchangingplaceswithGaddyforawhile。
"SportwithAmaryllisintheshadeoftheTownHall，andallthat。
Oh，whydoesn"tsomebodycomeandmarryme，insteadoflettingmegointocholera-camp？
MACKESY。AsktheCommittee。
CURTISS。Youruffian！You"llstandmeanotherpegforthat。
Blayne，whatwillyoutake？Mackesyisfineonmoralgrounds。
Done，haveyouanypreference？
DONE。SmallglassKummel，please。Excellentcarminative，thesedays。Anthonytoldmeso。
MACKESY。（Signingvoucherforfourdrinks。）Mostunfairpunishment。IonlythoughtofCurtissasActaeonbeingchiviedroundthebilliardtablesbythenymphsofDiana。
BLAYNE。Curtisswouldhavetoimporthisnymphsbytrain。Mrs。
Cockley"stheonlywomanintheStation。Shewon"tleaveCockley，andhe"sdoinghisbesttogethertogo。
CURTISS。Good，indeed！Here"sMrs。Cockley"shealth。TotheonlywifeintheStationandadamnedbravewoman！
OMNES。（Drinking。）AdamnedbravewomanBLAVNE。IsupposeGandywillbringhiswifehereattheendofthecoldweather。Theyaregoingtobemarriedalmostimmediately，Ibelieve。
CURTISS。GandymaythankhisluckthatthePinkHussarsarealldetachmentandnoheadquartersthishotweather，orhe"dbetornfromthearmsofhisloveassureasdeath。Haveyouevernoticedthethorough-mindedwayBritishCavalrytaketocholera？It"sbecausetheyaresoexpensive。IfthePinkshadstoodfasthere，theywouldhavebeenoutincampa。monthago。Yes，IshoulddecidedlyliketobeGandy。
MACKESY。He"llgoHomeafterhe"smarried，andsendinhispapers-seeifhedoesn"t。
BLAYNE。Whyshouldn"the？Hasn"themoney？Wouldanyoneofusbehereifweweren"tpaupers？
DONE。Pooroldpauper！Whathasbecomeofthesixhundredyourookedfromourtablelastmonth？
BLAYNE。Ittookuntoitselfwings。Ithinkanenterprisingtradesmangotsomeofit，andashroffgobbledtherest-orelseI
spentit。
CURTISS。Gandyneverhaddealingswithashroffinhislife。
DONE。VirtuousGandy！IfIhadthreethousandamonth，paidfromEngland，Idon"tthinkI"ddealwithashroffeither。
MACKESY。（Yawning。）Oh，it"sasweetlife！Iwonderwhethermatrimonywouldmakeitsweeter。
CURTISS。AskCockley-withhiswifedyingbyinches！
BLAYNE。Gohomeandgetafoolofagirltocomeoutto-whatisitThackeraysays？-"thesplendidpalaceofanIndianpro-consul。"
DOONE。Whichremindsme。Myquartersleaklikeasieve。Ihadfeverlastnightfromsleepinginaswamp。Andtheworstofitis，onecan"tdoanythingtoarooftilltheRainsareover。
CURTISS。What"swrongwithyou？Youhaven"teightyrottingTommiestotakeintoarunningstream。
DONE。No:butI"mmixedboilsandbadlanguage。I"maregularJoballovermybody。It"ssheerpovertyofblood，andIdon"tseeanychanceofgettingricher-eitherway。
BLAYNE。Can"tyoutakeleave？DONE。That"sthepullyouArmymenhaveoverus。Tendaysarenothinginyoursight。I"msoimportantthatGovernmentcan"tfindasubstituteifIgoaway。
Ye-es，I"dliketobeGandy，whoeverhiswifemaybe。
CURTISS。You"vepassedtheturnoflifethatMackesywasspeakingof。
DONE。IndeedIhave，butIneveryethadthebrutalitytoaskawomantosharemylifeouthere。
BLAvNE。OnmysoulIbelieveyou"reright。I"mthinkingofMrs。
Cockley。Thewoman"sanabsolutewreck。
DONE。Exactly。Becauseshestaysdownhere。TheonlywaytokeepherfitwouldbetosendhertotheHillsforeightmonths-andthesamewithanywoman。IfancyIseemyselftakingawifeonthoseterms。
MACKESY。Withtherupeeatoneandsixpence。ThelittleDooneswouldbelittleDebraDoones，withafineMussooriechi-chianenttobringhomefortheholidays。
CURTISS。Andapairofbe-ewtifulsambhur-hornsforDonetowear，freeofexpense，presentedby-DONE。Yes，it"sanenchantingprospect。Bytheway，therupeehasn"tdonefallingyet。Thetimewillcomewhenweshallthinkourselvesluckyifweonlylosehalfourpay。
CURTISS。Surelyathird"slossenough。Whogainsbythearrangement？That"swhatIwanttoknow。
BLAYNE。TheSilverQuestion！I"mgoingtobedifyoubeginsquabblingThankGoodness，here"sAnthony-lookinglikeaghost。
EnterANTHONY，IndianMedicalStaff，verywhiteandtired。
ANTHONY。"Evening，Blayne。It"sraininginsheets。Whiskeypeglao，khitmatgar。Theroadsaresomethingghastly。
CURTISS。How"sMingle？
ANTHONY。Verybad，andmorefrightened。IhandedhimovertoFew-ton。Minglemightjustaswellhavecalledhiminthefirstplace，insteadofbotheringme。
BLAYNE。He"sanervouslittlechap。Whathashegot，thistime？
ANTHONY。"Can"tquitesay。Averybadtummyandabluefunksofar。Heaskedmeatonceifitwascholera，andItoldhimnottobeafool。Thatsoothedhim。
CURTIS。Poordevil！Thefunkdoeshalfthebusinessinamanofthatbuild。
ANTHONY。（Lightingacheroot。）Ifirmlybelievethefunkwillkillhimifhestaysdown。Youknowtheamountoftroublehe"sbeengivingFewtonforthelastthreeweeks。He"sdoinghisverybesttofrightenhimselfintothegrave。
GENERALCHORUS。Poorlittledevil！Whydoesn"thegetaway？
ANTHONY。"Can"t。Hehashisleaveallright，buthe"ssodippedhecan"ttakeit，andIdon"tthinkhisnameonpaperwouldraisefourannas。That"sinconfidence，though。
MACKESY。AlltheStationknowsit。
ANTHONY。"IsupposeIshallhavetodiehere，"hesaid，squirmingallacrossthebed。He"squitemadeuphismindtoKingdomCome。AndIknowhehasnothingmorethanawet-weathertummyifhecouldonlykeepahandonhimself。
BLAYNE。That"sbad。That"sverybad。PoorlittleMiggy。Goodlittlechap，too。Isay-
ANTHONY。Whatdoyousay？
BLAYNE。Well，lookhere-anyhow。Ifit"slikethat-asyousay-I
sayfifty。
CURTISS。Isayfifty。
MACKESY。Igotwentybetter。
DONE。BloatedCroesusoftheBar！Isayfifty。Jervoise，whatdoyousay？Hi！Wakeup！
JERVOISE。Eh？What"sthat？What"sthat？
CURTISS。Wewantahundredrupeesfromyou。You"reabachelordrawingagiganticincome，andthere"samaninahole。
JERVOISE。Whatman？Anyonedead？
BLAYNE。No，huthe"lldieifyoudon"tgivethehundred。Here！
Here"sapeg-voucher。Youcanseewhatwe"vesignedfor，andAnthony"smanwillcomeroundto-morrowtocollectit。Sotherewillbenotrouble。
JERVOISE。（Signing。）Onehundred，E。M。J。Thereyouare（feebly）。Itisn"toneofyourjokes，isit？
BLAYNE。No，itreallyiswanted。Anthony，youwerethebiggestpoker-winnerlastweek，andyou"vedefraudedthetax-collectortoolong。Sign！
ANTHONY。Let"ssee。Threefiftiesandaseventy-twotwenty-threetwenty-sayfourhundredandtwenty。That"llgivehimamonthclearattheHills。Manythanks，youmen。I"llsendroundthechaprassito-morrow。
CURTISS。Youmustengineerhistakingthestuff，andofcourseyoumustn"t-
ANTHONY。Ofcourse。Itwouldneverdo。He"dweepwithgratitudeoverhiseveningdrink。
BLAYNE。That"sjustwhathewoulddo，damnhim。Oh！Isay，Anthony，youpretendtoknoweverything。HaveyouheardaboutGandy？
ANTHONY。No。DivorceCourtatlast？
BLAYNE。Worse。He"sengaged！
ANTHONY。Howmuch？Hecan"tbe！
BLAYNE。Heis。He"sgoingtobemarriedinafewweeks。MarkyntoldmeattheJudge"sthisevening。It"spukka。
ANTHONY。Youdon"tsayso？HolyMoses！There"llbeashineinthetentsofKedar。
CURTISS。"Regimentcutuprough，thinkyou？
ANTHONY。"Don"tknowanythingabouttheRegiment。
MACKESY。Itisbigamy，then？
ANTHONY。Maybe。Doyoumeantosaythatyoumenhaveforgotten，oristheremorecharityintheworldthanIthought？
DONE。Youdon"tlookprettywhenyouaretryingtokeepasecret。
Youbloat。Explain。
ANTHONY。Mrs。Herriott！
BLAYNE。（Afteralongpause，totheroomgenerally。）It"smynotionthatweareasetoffools。
MACKESY。Nonsense。Thatbusinesswasknockedontheheadlastseason。Why，youngMallard-
ANTHONY。Mallardwasacandlestick，paradedassuch。Thinkawhile。Recollectlastseasonandthetalkthen。MallardornoMallard，didGandyevertalktoanyotherwoman？
CURTISS。There"ssomethinginthat。Itwasslightlynoticeablenowyoucometomentionit。Butshe"satNainiTatandhe"satSimla。
ANTHONY。HehadtogotoSimlatolookafteraglobe-trotterrelativeofhis-apersonwithatitle。Uncleoraunt。
BLAYNEAndtherehegotengaged。Nolawpreventsamangrowingtiredofawoman。
ANTHONY。Exceptthathemustn"tdoittillthewomanistiredofhim。AndtheHerriottwomanwasnotthat。
CURTISS。Shemaybenow。TwomonthsofNainiTalworkswonders。
DONE。CuriousthinghowsomewomencarryaFatewiththem。
TherewasaMrs。DeegieintheCentralProvinceswhosemeninvariablyfellawayandgotmarried。ItbecamearegularproverbwithuswhenIwasdownthere。Irememberthreemendesperatelydevotedtoher，andtheyall，oneafteranother，tookwives。
CURTISS。That"sodd。NowIshouldhavethoughtthatMrs。
Deegie"sinfluencewouldhaveledthemtotakeothermen"swives。
ItoughttohavemadethemafraidofthejudgmentofProvidence。
ANTHONY。Mrs。HerriottwillmakeGandyafraidofsomethingmorethanthejudgmentofProvidence，Ifancy。
BLAYNE。Supposingthingsareasyousay，he"llbeafooltofaceher。He"llsittightatSimla。
ANTHONY。"Shouldn"tbeabitsurprisedifhewentofftoNainitoexplain。He"sanunaccountablesortofman，andshe"slikelytobeamorethanunaccountablewoman。
DONE。Whatmakesyoutakehercharacterawaysoconfidently？
ANTHONY。Primumternpus。Caddywasherfirstandawomandoesn"tallowherfirstmantodropawaywithoutexpostulation。
Shejustifiesthefirsttransferofaffectiontoherselfbyswearingthatitisforeverandever。Consequently-
BLAYNE。Consequently，wearesittingheretillpastoneo"clock，talkingscandallikeasetofStationcats。Anthony，it"sallyourfault。WewereperfectlyrespectabletillyoucameinGotobed。
I"moff，Good-nightall。
CURTISS。Pastone！It"spasttwobyJove，andhere"sthekhitcomingforthelatecharge。JustHeavens！One，two，three，four，fiverupeestopayforthepleasureofsayingthatapoorlittlebeastofawomanisnobetterthansheshouldbe。I"mashamedofmyself。
Gotobed，youslanderousvillains，andifI"msenttoBeorato-morrow，bepreparedtohearI"mdeadbeforepayingmycardaccount！
THETENTSOFKEDAR
OnlywhyshoulditbewithpainatallWhymustI"twixtheleavesofcorona！Putanykissofpardononthybrow？Whyshouldtheotherwomenknowsomuch，Andtalktogether-SuchthelookandsuchThesmileheusedtolovewith，thenasnow-AnyWifetoanyHusband。
SCENE-ANainiTaldinnerforthirty-four。Plate，wines，crockery，andkhitmatgarscarefullycalculatedtoscaleofRs。6000permensem，lessExchange。Tablesplitlengthwaysbybankofflowers。
MRS。HERRIOTT。（Afterconversationhasrisentoproperpitch。）
Ah！"Didn"tseeyouinthecrushinthedrawing-room。（Sottovoce。）
Wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile，Pip？
CAPTAINGADSBY。（Turningfromregularlyordaineddinnerpartnerandsettlinghockglasses。）Goodevening。（Sottovoce。）
Notquitesoloudanothertime。You"venonotionhowyourvoicecarries。（Aside。）Somuchforshirkingthewrittenexplanation。It"llhavetobeaverbalonenow。Sweetprospect！HowonearthamI
totellherthatIamarespectable，engagedmemberofsocietyandit"salloverbetweenus？
MRS。H。I"veaheavyscoreagainstyou。WherewereyouattheMondayPop？WherewereyouonTuesday？WherewereyouattheLamonts"tennis？Iwaslookingeverywhere。
CAPT。G。Forme！Oh，Iwasalivesomewhere，Isuppose。
（Aside。）It"sforMinnie"ssake，butit"sgoingtobedashedunpleasant。
MRS。H。HaveIdoneanythingtooffendyou？InevermeantitifI
have。Icouldn"thelpgoingforaridewiththeVaynorman。Itwaspromisedaweekbeforeyoucameup。
CAPT。G。Ididn"tknow-
MRS。H。Itreallywas。
CAPT。G。Anythingaboutit，Imean。
MRS。H。Whathasupsetyoutoday？Allthesedays？Youhaven"tbeennearmeforfourwholedays-nearlyonehundredhours。Wasitkindofyou，Pip？AndI"vebeenlookingforwardsomuchtoyourcoming。
CAPT。G。Haveyou？
MRS。H。YouknowIhave！I"vebeenasfoolishasaschoolgirlaboutit。Imadealittlecalendarandputitinmycard-case，andeverytimethetwelveo"clockgunwentoffIscratchedoutasquareandsaid:"ThatbringsmenearertoPip。MyPip！"
CAPT。G。（Withanuneasylaugh）。WhatwillMacklerthinkifyouneglecthimso？
MRS。H。Andithasn"tbroughtyounearer。Youseemfartherawaythanever。Areyousulkingaboutsomething？Iknowyourtemper。