Winesburg， Ohio

第3章

Dismissingthedrivershetookthereinsinherownhandsanddroveoffattopspeedthroughthestreets。Ifapedestriangotinherwayshedrovestraightaheadandthefrightenedcitizenhadtoes-

capeasbesthecould。Tothepeopleofthetownitseemedasthoughshewantedtorunthemdown。

Whenshehaddriventhroughseveralstreets，tear-

ingaroundcornersandbeatingthehorseswiththewhip，shedroveoffintothecountry。Onthecountryroadsaftershehadgottenoutofsightofthehousessheletthehorsesslowdowntoawalkandherwild，recklessmoodpassed。Shebecamethoughtfulandmutteredwords。Sometimestearscameintohereyes。Andthenwhenshecamebackintotownsheagaindrovefuriouslythroughthequietstreets。Butfortheinfluenceofherhusbandandtherespectheinspiredinpeople"smindsshewouldhavebeenarrestedmorethanoncebythetownmarshal。

YoungDavidHardygrewupinthehousewiththiswomanandascanwellbeimaginedtherewasnotmuchjoyinhischildhood。Hewastooyoungthentohaveopinionsofhisownaboutpeople，butattimesitwasdifficultforhimnottohaveverydefiniteopinionsaboutthewomanwhowashismother。Davidwasalwaysaquiet，orderlyboyandforalongtimewasthoughtbythepeopleofWines-

burgtobesomethingofadullard。Hiseyeswerebrownandasachildhehadahabitoflookingatthingsandpeoplealongtimewithoutappearingtoseewhathewaslookingat。Whenheheardhismotherspokenofharshlyorwhenheoverheardherberatinghisfather，hewasfrightenedandranawaytohide。Sometimeshecouldnotfindahidingplaceandthatconfusedhim。Turninghisfacetowardatreeorifhewasindoorstowardthewall，heclosedhiseyesandtriednottothinkofanything。Hehadahabitoftalkingaloudtohimself，andearlyinlifeaspiritofquietsadnessoftentookpossessionofhim。

OntheoccasionswhenDavidwenttovisithisgrandfatherontheBentleyfarm，hewasaltogethercontentedandhappy。Oftenhewishedthathewouldneverhavetogobacktotownandoncewhenhehadcomehomefromthefarmafteralongvisit，somethinghappenedthathadalastingeffectonhismind。

Davidhadcomebackintotownwithoneofthehiredmen。ThemanwasinahurrytogoabouthisownaffairsandlefttheboyattheheadofthestreetinwhichtheHardyhousestood。Itwasearlyduskofafalleveningandtheskywasovercastwithclouds。SomethinghappenedtoDavid。Hecouldnotbeartogointothehousewherehismotherandfatherlived，andonanimpulsehedecidedtorunawayfromhome。Heintendedtogobacktothefarmandtohisgrandfather，butlosthiswayandforhourshewanderedweepingandfrightenedoncountryroads。Itstartedtorainandlightningflashedinthesky。Theboy"simaginationwasex-

citedandhefanciedthathecouldseeandhearstrangethingsinthedarkness。Intohismindcametheconvictionthathewaswalkingandrunninginsometerriblevoidwherenoonehadeverbeenbe-

fore。Thedarknessabouthimseemedlimitless。Thesoundofthewindblowingintreeswasterrifying。

Whenateamofhorsesapproachedalongtheroadinwhichhewalkedhewasfrightenedandclimbedafence。Throughafieldheranuntilhecameintoanotherroadandgettinguponhiskneesfeltofthesoftgroundwithhisfingers。Butforthefigureofhisgrandfather，whomhewasafraidhewouldneverfindinthedarkness，hethoughttheworldmustbealtogetherempty。Whenhiscrieswereheardbyafarmerwhowaswalkinghomefromtownandhewasbroughtbacktohisfather"shouse，hewassotiredandexcitedthathedidnotknowwhatwashappeningtohim。

BychanceDavid"sfatherknewthathehaddisap-

peared。OnthestreethehadmetthefarmhandfromtheBentleyplaceandknewofhisson"sreturntotown。WhentheboydidnotcomehomeanalarmwassetupandJohnHardywithseveralmenofthetownwenttosearchthecountry。ThereportthatDavidhadbeenkidnappedranaboutthroughthestreetsofWinesburg。Whenhecamehometherewerenolightsinthehouse，buthismotherap-

pearedandclutchedhimeagerlyinherarms。Davidthoughtshehadsuddenlybecomeanotherwoman。

Hecouldnotbelievethatsodelightfulathinghadhappened。WithherownhandsLouiseHardybathedhistiredyoungbodyandcookedhimfood。Shewouldnotlethimgotobedbut，whenhehadputonhisnightgown，blewoutthelightsandsatdowninachairtoholdhiminherarms。Foranhourthewomansatinthedarknessandheldherboy。Allthetimeshekepttalkinginalowvoice。Davidcouldnotunderstandwhathadsochangedher。Herhabit-

uallydissatisfiedfacehadbecome，hethought，themostpeacefulandlovelythinghehadeverseen。

Whenhebegantoweepsheheldhimmoreandmoretightly。Onandonwenthervoice。Itwasnotharshorshrillaswhenshetalkedtoherhusband，butwaslikerainfallingontrees。Presentlymenbegancomingtothedoortoreportthathehadnotbeenfound，butshemadehimhideandbesilentuntilshehadsentthemaway。Hethoughtitmustbeagamehismotherandthemenofthetownwereplayingwithhimandlaughedjoyously。Intohismindcamethethoughtthathishavingbeenlostandfrightenedinthedarknesswasanaltogetherunimportantmatter。Hethoughtthathewouldhavebeenwillingtogothroughthefrightfulexperienceathousandtimestobesureoffindingattheendofthelongblackroadathingsolovelyashismotherhadsuddenlybecome。

DuringthelastyearsofyoungDavid"sboyhoodhesawhismotherbutseldomandshebecameforhimjustawomanwithwhomhehadoncelived。

Stillhecouldnotgetherfigureoutofhismindandashegrewolderitbecamemoredefinite。WhenhewastwelveyearsoldhewenttotheBentleyfarmtolive。OldJessecameintotownandfairlyde-

mandedthathebegivenchargeoftheboy。Theoldmanwasexcitedanddeterminedonhavinghisownway。HetalkedtoJohnHardyintheofficeoftheWinesburgSavingsBankandthenthetwomenwenttothehouseonElmStreettotalkwithLouise。

Theybothexpectedhertomaketroublebutweremistaken。ShewasveryquietandwhenJessehadexplainedhismissionandhadgoneonatsomelengthabouttheadvantagestocomethroughhavingtheboyoutofdoorsandinthequietatmosphereoftheoldfarmhouse，shenoddedherheadinap-

proval。"Itisanatmospherenotcorruptedbymypresence，"shesaidsharply。Hershouldersshookandsheseemedabouttoflyintoafitoftemper。"Itisaplaceforamanchild，althoughitwasneveraplaceforme，"shewenton。"Youneverwantedmethereandofcoursetheairofyourhousedidmenogood。Itwaslikepoisoninmybloodbutitwillbedifferentwithhim。"

Louiseturnedandwentoutoftheroom，leavingthetwomentositinembarrassedsilence。Asveryoftenhappenedshelaterstayedinherroomfordays。Evenwhentheboy"sclotheswerepackedandhewastakenawayshedidnotappear。Thelossofhersonmadeasharpbreakinherlifeandsheseemedlessinclinedtoquarrelwithherhusband。

JohnHardythoughtithadallturnedoutverywellindeed。

AndsoyoungDavidwenttoliveintheBentleyfarmhousewithJesse。Twooftheoldfarmer"ssisterswerealiveandstilllivedinthehouse。TheywereafraidofJesseandrarelyspokewhenhewasabout。

Oneofthewomenwhohadbeennotedforherflamingredhairwhenshewasyoungerwasabornmotherandbecametheboy"scaretaker。Everynightwhenhehadgonetobedshewentintohisroomandsatontheflooruntilhefellasleep。Whenhebecamedrowsyshebecameboldandwhisperedthingsthathelaterthoughthemusthavedreamed。

Hersoftlowvoicecalledhimendearingnamesandhedreamedthathismotherhadcometohimandthatshehadchangedsothatshewasalwaysasshehadbeenthattimeafterheranaway。Healsogrewboldandreachingouthishandstrokedthefaceofthewomanonthefloorsothatshewasec-

staticallyhappy。Everyoneintheoldhousebecamehappyaftertheboywentthere。ThehardinsistentthinginJesseBentleythathadkeptthepeopleinthehousesilentandtimidandthathadneverbeendispelledbythepresenceofthegirlLouisewasap-

parentlysweptawaybythecomingoftheboy。ItwasasthoughGodhadrelentedandsentasontotheman。

ThemanwhohadproclaimedhimselftheonlytrueservantofGodinallthevalleyofWineCreek，andwhohadwantedGodtosendhimasignofapprovalbywayofasonoutofthewombofKather-

ine，begantothinkthatatlasthisprayershadbeenanswered。Althoughhewasatthattimeonlyfifty-

fiveyearsoldhelookedseventyandwaswornoutwithmuchthinkingandscheming。Theefforthehadmadetoextendhislandholdingshadbeensuc-

cessfulandtherewerefewfarmsinthevalleythatdidnotbelongtohim，butuntilDavidcamehewasabitterlydisappointedman。

ThereweretwoinfluencesatworkinJesseBent-

leyandallhislifehismindhadbeenabattlegroundfortheseinfluences。Firsttherewastheoldthinginhim。HewantedtobeamanofGodandaleaderamongmenofGod。Hiswalkinginthefieldsandthroughtheforestsatnighthadbroughthimclosetonatureandtherewereforcesinthepassionatelyreligiousmanthatranouttotheforcesinnature。

ThedisappointmentthathadcometohimwhenadaughterandnotasonhadbeenborntoKatherinehadfallenuponhimlikeablowstruckbysomeunseenhandandtheblowhadsomewhatsoftenedhisegotism。HestillbelievedthatGodmightatanymomentmakehimselfmanifestoutofthewindsortheclouds，buthenolongerdemandedsuchrecog-

nition。Insteadheprayedforit。SometimeshewasaltogetherdoubtfulandthoughtGodhaddesertedtheworld。Heregrettedthefatethathadnotlethimliveinasimplerandsweetertimewhenatthebeckoningofsomestrangecloudintheskymenlefttheirlandsandhousesandwentforthintothewildernesstocreatenewraces。Whileheworkednightanddaytomakehisfarmsmoreproductiveandtoextendhisholdingsofland，heregrettedthathecouldnotusehisownrestlessenergyinthebuildingoftemples，theslayingofunbelieversandingeneralintheworkofglorifyingGod"snameonearth。

ThatiswhatJessehungeredforandthenalsohehungeredforsomethingelse。HehadgrownintomaturityinAmericaintheyearsaftertheCivilWarandhe，likeallmenofhistime，hadbeentouchedbythedeepinfluencesthatwereatworkinthecountryduringthoseyearswhenmodemindustrial-

ismwasbeingborn。HebegantobuymachinesthatwouldpermithimtodotheworkofthefarmswhileemployingfewermenandhesometimesthoughtthatifhewereayoungermanhewouldgiveupfarmingaltogetherandstartafactoryinWinesburgforthemakingofmachinery。Jesseformedthehabitofreadingnewspapersandmagazines。Heinventedamachineforthemakingoffenceoutofwire。

Faintlyherealizedthattheatmosphereofoldtimesandplacesthathehadalwayscultivatedinhisownmindwasstrangeandforeigntothethingthatwasgrowingupinthemindsofothers。Thebeginningofthemostmaterialisticageinthehistoryoftheworld，whenwarswouldbefoughtwithoutpatrio-

tism，whenmenwouldforgetGodandonlypayattentiontomoralstandards，whenthewilltopowerwouldreplacethewilltoserveandbeautywouldbewell-nighforgottenintheterribleheadlongrushofmankindtowardtheacquiringofpossessions，wastellingitsstorytoJessethemanofGodasitwastothemenabouthim。Thegreedythinginhimwantedtomakemoneyfasterthanitcouldbemadebytillingtheland。MorethanoncehewentintoWinesburgtotalkwithhisson-in-lawJohnHardyaboutit。"YouareabankerandyouwillhavechancesIneverhad，"hesaidandhiseyesshone。

"Iamthinkingaboutitallthetime。BigthingsaregoingtobedoneinthecountryandtherewillbemoremoneytobemadethanIeverdreamedof。

Yougetintoit。IwishIwereyoungerandhadyourchance。"JesseBentleywalkedupanddowninthebankofficeandgrewmoreandmoreexcitedashetalked。Atonetimeinhislifehehadbeenthreat-

enedwithparalysisandhisleftsideremainedsome-

whatweakened。Ashetalkedhislefteyelidtwitched。

LaterwhenhedrovebackhomeandwhennightcameonandthestarscameoutitwashardertogetbacktheoldfeelingofacloseandpersonalGodwholivedintheskyoverheadandwhomightatanymomentreachouthishand，touchhimontheshoulder，andappointforhimsomeheroictasktobedone。Jesse"smindwasfixeduponthethingsreadinnewspapersandmagazines，onfortunestobemadealmostwithouteffortbyshrewdmenwhoboughtandsold。ForhimthecomingoftheboyDaviddidmuchtobringbackwithrenewedforcetheoldfaithanditseemedtohimthatGodhadatlastlookedwithfavoruponhim。

Asfortheboyonthefarm，lifebegantorevealitselftohiminathousandnewanddelightfulways。

Thekindlyattitudeofallabouthimexpandedhisquietnatureandhelostthehalftimid，hesitatingmannerhehadalwayshadwithhispeople。Atnightwhenhewenttobedafteralongdayofadventuresinthestables，inthefields，ordrivingaboutfromfarmtofarmwithhisgrandfather，hewantedtoembraceeveryoneinthehouse。IfSherleyBentley，thewomanwhocameeachnighttositonthefloorbyhisbedside，didnotappearatonce，hewenttotheheadofthestairsandshouted，hisyoungvoiceringingthroughthenarrowhallswhereforsolongtherehadbeenatraditionofsilence。Inthemorningwhenheawokeandlaystillinbed，thesoundsthatcameintohimthroughthewindowsfilledhimwithdelight。HethoughtwithashudderofthelifeinthehouseinWinesburgandofhismother"sangryvoicethathadalwaysmadehimtremble。Thereinthecountryallsoundswerepleasantsounds。Whenheawokeatdawnthebarnyardbackofthehousealsoawoke。Inthehousepeoplestirredabout。ElizaStoughtonthehalf-wittedgirlwaspokedintheribsbyafarmhandandgigglednoisily，insomedistantfieldacowbawledandwasansweredbythecattleinthestables，andoneofthefarmhandsspokesharplytothehorsehewasgroomingbythestabledoor。Davidleapedoutofbedandrantoawindow。

Allofthepeoplestirringaboutexcitedhismind，andhewonderedwhathismotherwasdoinginthehouseintown。

Fromthewindowsofhisownroomhecouldnotseedirectlyintothebarnyardwherethefarmhandshadnowallassembledtodothemorningshores，buthecouldhearthevoicesofthemenandtheneighingofthehorses。Whenoneofthemenlaughed，helaughedalso。Leaningoutattheopenwindow，helookedintoanorchardwhereafatsowwanderedaboutwithalitteroftinypigsatherheels。Everymorninghecountedthepigs。"Four，five，six，seven，"hesaidslowly，wettinghisfingerandmakingstraightupanddownmarksonthewindowledge。Davidrantoputonhistrousersandshirt。Afeverishdesiretogetoutofdoorstookpos-

sessionofhim。EverymorninghemadesuchanoisecomingdownstairsthatAuntCallie，thehouse-

keeper，declaredhewastryingtotearthehousedown。Whenhehadrunthroughthelongoldhouse，shuttingthedoorsbehindhimwithabang，hecameintothebarnyardandlookedaboutwithanamazedairofexpectancy。Itseemedtohimthatinsuchaplacetremendousthingsmighthavehap-

penedduringthenight。Thefarmhandslookedathimandlaughed。HenryStrader，anoldmanwhohadbeenonthefarmsinceJessecameintoposses-

sionandwhobeforeDavid"stimehadneverbeenknowntomakeajoke，madethesamejokeeverymorning。ItamusedDavidsothathelaughedandclappedhishands。"See，comehereandlook，"criedtheoldman。"GrandfatherJesse"swhitemarehastomtheblackstockingshewearsonherfoot。"

Dayafterdaythroughthelongsummer，JesseBentleydrovefromfarmtofarmupanddownthevalleyofWineCreek，andhisgrandsonwentwithhim。Theyrodeinacomfortableoldphaetondrawnbythewhitehorse。Theoldmanscratchedhisthinwhitebeardandtalkedtohimselfofhisplansforincreasingtheproductivenessofthefieldstheyvis-

itedandofGod"spartintheplansallmenmade。

SometimeshelookedatDavidandsmiledhappilyandthenforalongtimeheappearedtoforgettheboy"sexistence。Moreandmoreeverydaynowhismindturnedbackagaintothedreamsthathadfilledhismindwhenhehadfirstcomeoutofthecitytoliveontheland。OneafternoonhestartledDavidbylettinghisdreamstakeentirepossessionofhim。

Withtheboyasawitness，hewentthroughacere-

monyandbroughtaboutanaccidentthatnearlyde-

stroyedthecompanionshipthatwasgrowingupbetweenthem。

Jesseandhisgrandsonweredrivinginadistantpartofthevalleysomemilesfromhome。AforestcamedowntotheroadandthroughtheforestWineCreekwriggleditswayoverstonestowardadistantriver。AlltheafternoonJessehadbeeninamedita-

tivemoodandnowhebegantotalk。Hismindwentbacktothenightwhenhehadbeenfrightenedbythoughtsofagiantthatmightcometorobandplun-

derhimofhispossessions，andagainasonthatnightwhenhehadrunthroughthefieldscryingforason，hebecameexcitedtotheedgeofinsanity。

StoppingthehorsehegotoutofthebuggyandaskedDavidtogetoutalso。Thetwoclimbedoverafenceandwalkedalongthebankofthestream。

Theboypaidnoattentiontothemutteringofhisgrandfather，butranalongbesidehimandwon-

deredwhatwasgoingtohappen。Whenarabbitjumpedupandranawaythroughthewoods，heclappedhishandsanddancedwithdelight。Helookedatthetalltreesandwassorrythathewasnotalittleanimaltoclimbhighintheairwithoutbeingfrightened。Stooping，hepickedupasmallstoneandthrewitovertheheadofhisgrandfatherintoaclumpofbushes。"Wakeup，littleanimal。Goandclimbtothetopofthetrees，"heshoutedinashrillvoice。

JesseBentleywentalongunderthetreeswithhisheadbowedandwithhismindinaferment。Hisearnestnessaffectedtheboy，whopresentlybecamesilentandalittlealarmed。Intotheoldman"smindhadcomethenotionthatnowhecouldbringfromGodawordorasignoutofthesky，thatthepres-

enceoftheboyandmanontheirkneesinsomelonelyspotintheforestwouldmakethemiraclehehadbeenwaitingforalmostinevitable。"ItwasinjustsuchaplaceasthisthatotherDavidtendedthesheepwhenhisfathercameandtoldhimtogodownuntoSaul，"hemuttered。

Takingtheboyratherroughlybytheshoulder，heclimbedoverafallenlogandwhenhehadcometoanopenplaceamongthetreeshedroppeduponhiskneesandbegantoprayinaloudvoice。

AkindofterrorhehadneverknownbeforetookpossessionofDavid。Crouchingbeneathatreehewatchedthemanonthegroundbeforehimandhisownkneesbegantotremble。Itseemedtohimthathewasinthepresencenotonlyofhisgrandfatherbutofsomeoneelse，someonewhomighthurthim，someonewhowasnotkindlybutdangerousandbrutal。Hebegantocryandreachingdownpickedupasmallstick，whichheheldtightlygrippedinhisfingers。WhenJesseBentley，absorbedinhisownidea，suddenlyaroseandadvancedtowardhim，histerrorgrewuntilhiswholebodyshook。Inthewoodsanintensesilenceseemedtolieoverevery-

thingandsuddenlyoutofthesilencecametheoldman"sharshandinsistentvoice。Grippingtheboy"sshoulders，Jesseturnedhisfacetotheskyandshouted。Thewholeleftsideofhisfacetwitchedandhishandontheboy"sshouldertwitchedalso。

"Makeasigntome，God，"hecried。"HereIstandwiththeboyDavid。ComedowntomeoutoftheskyandmakeThypresenceknowntome。"

Withacryoffear，Davidturnedand，shakinghimselfloosefromthehandsthatheldhim，ranawaythroughtheforest。Hedidnotbelievethatthemanwhoturneduphisfaceandinaharshvoiceshoutedattheskywashisgrandfatheratall。Themandidnotlooklikehisgrandfather。Theconvic-

tionthatsomethingstrangeandterriblehadhap-

pened，thatbysomemiracleanewanddangerouspersonhadcomeintothebodyofthekindlyoldman，tookpossessionofhim。Onandonherandownthehillside，sobbingasheran。Whenhefellovertherootsofatreeandinfallingstruckhishead，hearoseandtriedtorunonagain。Hisheadhurtsothatpresentlyhefelldownandlaystill，butitwasonlyafterJessehadcarriedhimtothebuggyandheawoketofindtheoldman"shandstrokinghisheadtenderlythattheterrorlefthim。"Takemeaway。Thereisaterriblemanbackthereinthewoods，"hedeclaredfirmly，whileJesselookedawayoverthetopsofthetreesandagainhislipscriedouttoGod。"WhathaveIdonethatThoudostnotapproveofme，"hewhisperedsoftly，sayingthewordsoverandoverashedroverapidlyalongtheroadwiththeboy"scutandbleedingheadheldten-

derlyagainsthisshoulder。

III

SurrenderTHESTORYOFLouiseBentley，whobecameMrs。JohnHardyandlivedwithherhusbandinabrickhouseonElmStreetinWinesburg，isastoryofmis-

understanding。

BeforesuchwomenasLouisecanbeunderstoodandtheirlivesmadelivable，muchwillhavetobedone。Thoughtfulbookswillhavetobewrittenandthoughtfulliveslivedbypeopleaboutthem。

Bornofadelicateandoverworkedmother，andanimpulsive，hard，imaginativefather，whodidnotlookwithfavoruponhercomingintotheworld，Louisewasfromchildhoodaneurotic，oneoftheraceofover-sensitivewomenthatinlaterdaysin-

dustrialismwastobringinsuchgreatnumbersintotheworld。

DuringherearlyyearsshelivedontheBentleyfarm，asilent，moodychild，wantinglovemorethananythingelseintheworldandnotgettingit。WhenshewasfifteenshewenttoliveinWinesburgwiththefamilyofAlbertHardy，whohadastoreforthesaleofbuggiesandwagons，andwhowasamemberofthetownboardofeducation。

LouisewentintotowntobeastudentintheWinesburgHighSchoolandshewenttoliveattheHardys"becauseAlbertHardyandherfatherwerefriends。

Hardy，thevehiclemerchantofWinesburg，likethousandsofothermenofhistimes，wasanenthu-

siastonthesubjectofeducation。Hehadmadehisownwayintheworldwithoutlearninggotfrombooks，buthewasconvincedthathadhebutknownbooksthingswouldhavegonebetterwithhim。Toeveryonewhocameintohisshophetalkedofthematter，andinhisownhouseholdhedrovehisfam-

ilydistractedbyhisconstantharpingonthesubject。

Hehadtwodaughtersandoneson，JohnHardy，andmorethanoncethedaughtersthreatenedtoleaveschoolaltogether。Asamatterofprincipletheydidjustenoughworkintheirclassestoavoidpun-

ishment。"IhatebooksandIhateanyonewholikesbooks，"Harriet，theyoungerofthetwogirls，de-

claredpassionately。

InWinesburgasonthefarmLouisewasnothappy。Foryearsshehaddreamedofthetimewhenshecouldgoforthintotheworld，andshelookeduponthemoveintotheHardyhouseholdasagreatstepinthedirectionoffreedom。Alwayswhenshehadthoughtofthematter，ithadseemedtoherthatintownallmustbegaietyandlife，thattheremenandwomenmustlivehappilyandfreely，givingandtakingfriendshipandaffectionasonetakesthefeelofawindonthecheek。AfterthesilenceandthecheerlessnessoflifeintheBentleyhouse，shedreamedofsteppingforthintoanatmospherethatwaswarmandpulsatingwithlifeandreality。AndintheHardyhouseholdLouisemighthavegotsomethingofthethingforwhichshesohungeredbutforamistakeshemadewhenshehadjustcometotown。

LouisewonthedisfavorofthetwoHardygirls，MaryandHarriet，byherapplicationtoherstudiesinschool。Shedidnotcometothehouseuntilthedaywhenschoolwastobeginandknewnothingofthefeelingtheyhadinthematter。Shewastimidandduringthefirstmonthmadenoacquaintances。

EveryFridayafternoononeofthehiredmenfromthefarmdroveintoWinesburgandtookherhomefortheweek-end，sothatshedidnotspendtheSaturdayholidaywiththetownpeople。Becauseshewasembarrassedandlonelysheworkedconstantlyatherstudies。ToMaryandHarriet，itseemedasthoughshetriedtomaketroubleforthembyherproficiency。InhereagernesstoappearwellLouisewantedtoanswereveryquestionputtotheclassbytheteacher。Shejumpedupanddownandhereyesflashed。Thenwhenshehadansweredsomeques-

tiontheothersintheclasshadbeenunabletoan-

swer，shesmiledhappily。"See，Ihavedoneitforyou，"hereyesseemedtosay。"Youneednotbotheraboutthematter。Iwillanswerallquestions。ForthewholeclassitwillbeeasywhileIamhere。"

IntheeveningaftersupperintheHardyhouse，AlbertHardybegantopraiseLouise。Oneoftheteachershadspokenhighlyofherandhewasde-

lighted。"Well，againIhaveheardofit，"hebegan，lookinghardathisdaughtersandthenturningtosmileatLouise。"AnotheroftheteachershastoldmeofthegoodworkLouiseisdoing。EveryoneinWinesburgistellingmehowsmartsheis。Iamashamedthattheydonotspeaksoofmyowngirls。"Arising，themerchantmarchedabouttheroomandlightedhiseveningcigar。

Thetwogirlslookedateachotherandshooktheirheadswearily。Seeingtheirindifferencethefatherbecameangry。"Itellyouitissomethingforyoutwotobethinkingabout，"hecried，glaringatthem。

"ThereisabigchangecominghereinAmericaandinlearningistheonlyhopeofthecominggenera-

tions。Louiseisthedaughterofarichmanbutsheisnotashamedtostudy。Itshouldmakeyouashamedtoseewhatshedoes。"

Themerchanttookhishatfromarackbythedoorandpreparedtodepartfortheevening。Atthedoorhestoppedandglaredback。Sofiercewashisman-

nerthatLouisewasfrightenedandranupstairstoherownroom。Thedaughtersbegantospeakoftheirownaffairs。"Payattentiontome，"roaredthemerchant。"Yourmindsarelazy。Yourindifferencetoeducationisaffectingyourcharacters。Youwillamounttonothing。NowmarkwhatIsay——Louisewillbesofaraheadofyouthatyouwillnevercatchup。"

Thedistractedmanwentoutofthehouseandintothestreetshakingwithwrath。Hewentalongmutteringwordsandswearing，butwhenhegotintoMainStreethisangerpassed。Hestoppedtotalkoftheweatherorthecropswithsomeothermerchantorwithafarmerwhohadcomeintotownandforgothisdaughtersaltogetheror，ifhethoughtofthem，onlyshruggedhisshoulders。"Oh，well，girlswillbegirls，"hemutteredphilosophically。

InthehousewhenLouisecamedownintotheroomwherethetwogirlssat，theywouldhavenoth-

ingtodowithher。Oneeveningaftershehadbeenthereformorethansixweeksandwasheartbrokenbecauseofthecontinuedairofcoldnesswithwhichshewasalwaysgreeted，sheburstintotears。"Shutupyourcryingandgobacktoyourownroomandtoyourbooks，"MaryHardysaidsharply。

***

TheroomoccupiedbyLouisewasonthesecondflooroftheHardyhouse，andherwindowlookedoutuponanorchard。TherewasastoveintheroomandeveryeveningyoungJohnHardycarriedupanarmfulofwoodandputitinaboxthatstoodbythewall。Duringthesecondmonthaftershecametothehouse，LouisegaveupallhopeofgettingonafriendlyfootingwiththeHardygirlsandwenttoherownroomassoonastheeveningmealwasatanend。

HermindbegantoplaywiththoughtsofmakingfriendswithJohnHardy。Whenhecameintotheroomwiththewoodinhisarms，shepretendedtobebusywithherstudiesbutwatchedhimeagerly。

Whenhehadputthewoodintheboxandturnedtogoout，sheputdownherheadandblushed。Shetriedtomaketalkbutcouldsaynothing，andafterhehadgoneshewasangryatherselfforherstupidity。

Themindofthecountrygirlbecamefilledwiththeideaofdrawingclosetotheyoungman。Shethoughtthatinhimmightbefoundthequalityshehadallherlifebeenseekinginpeople。Itseemedtoherthatbetweenherselfandalltheotherpeopleintheworld，awallhadbeenbuiltupandthatshewaslivingjustontheedgeofsomewarminnercircleoflifethatmustbequiteopenandunder-

standabletoothers。Shebecameobsessedwiththethoughtthatitwantedbutacourageousactonherparttomakeallofherassociationwithpeoplesome-

thingquitedifferent，andthatitwaspossiblebysuchanacttopassintoanewlifeasoneopensadoorandgoesintoaroom。Dayandnightshethoughtofthematter，butalthoughthethingshewantedsoearnestlywassomethingverywarmandcloseithadasyetnoconsciousconnectionwithsex。Ithadnotbecomethatdefinite，andhermindhadonlyalighteduponthepersonofJohnHardybecausehewasathandandunlikehissistershadnotbeenun-

friendlytoher。

TheHardysisters，MaryandHarriet，werebotholderthanLouise。Inacertainkindofknowledgeoftheworldtheywereyearsolder。TheylivedasalloftheyoungwomenofMiddleWesterntownslived。InthosedaysyoungwomendidnotgooutofourtownstoEasterncollegesandideasinregardtosocialclasseshadhardlybeguntoexist。Adaugh-

terofalaborerwasinmuchthesamesocialpositionasadaughterofafarmeroramerchant，andtherewerenoleisureclasses。Agirlwas"nice"orshewas"notnice。"Ifanicegirl，shehadayoungmanwhocametoherhousetoseeheronSundayandonWednesdayevenings。Sometimesshewentwithheryoungmantoadanceorachurchsocial。Atothertimesshereceivedhimatthehouseandwasgiventheuseoftheparlorforthatpurpose。Noonein-

trudeduponher。Forhoursthetwosatbehindcloseddoors。Sometimesthelightswereturnedlowandtheyoungmanandwomanembraced。Cheeksbecamehotandhairdisarranged。Afterayearortwo，iftheimpulsewithinthembecamestrongandinsistentenough，theymarried。

OneeveningduringherfirstwinterinWinesburg，LouisehadanadventurethatgaveanewimpulsetoherdesiretobreakdownthewallthatshethoughtstoodbetweenherandJohnHardy。ItwasWednesdayandimmediatelyaftertheeveningmealAlbertHardyputonhishatandwentaway。YoungJohnbroughtthewoodandputitintheboxinLouise"sroom。"Youdoworkhard，don"tyou？"hesaidawkwardly，andthenbeforeshecouldanswerhealsowentaway。

Louiseheardhimgooutofthehouseandhadamaddesiretorunafterhim。Openingherwindowsheleanedoutandcalledsoftly，"John，dearJohn，comeback，don"tgoaway。"Thenightwascloudyandshecouldnotseefarintothedarkness，butasshewaitedshefanciedshecouldhearasoftlittlenoiseasofsomeonegoingontiptoesthroughthetreesintheorchard。Shewasfrightenedandclosedthewindowquickly。Foranhourshemovedabouttheroomtremblingwithexcitementandwhenshecouldnotlongerbearthewaiting，shecreptintothehallanddownthestairsintoacloset-likeroomthatopenedofftheparlor。

Louisehaddecidedthatshewouldperformthecourageousactthathadforweeksbeeninhermind。

ShewasconvincedthatJohnHardyhadconcealedhimselfintheorchardbeneathherwindowandshewasdeterminedtofindhimandtellhimthatshewantedhimtocomeclosetoher，toholdherinhisarms，totellherofhisthoughtsanddreamsandtolistenwhileshetoldhimherthoughtsanddreams。

"Inthedarknessitwillbeeasiertosaythings，"shewhisperedtoherself，asshestoodinthelittleroomgropingforthedoor。

AndthensuddenlyLouiserealizedthatshewasnotaloneinthehouse。Intheparlorontheothersideofthedooraman"svoicespokesoftlyandthedooropened。LouisejusthadtimetoconcealherselfinalittleopeningbeneaththestairwaywhenMaryHardy，accompaniedbyheryoungman，cameintothelittledarkroom。

ForanhourLouisesatonthefloorinthedarknessandlistened。WithoutwordsMaryHardy，withtheaidofthemanwhohadcometospendtheeveningwithher，broughttothecountrygirlaknowledgeofmenandwomen。Puttingherheaddownuntilshewascurledintoalittleballshelayperfectlystill。

Itseemedtoherthatbysomestrangeimpulseofthegods，agreatgifthadbeenbroughttoMaryHardyandshecouldnotunderstandtheolderwom-

an"sdeterminedprotest。

TheyoungmantookMaryHardyintohisarmsandkissedher。Whenshestruggledandlaughed，hebutheldherthemoretightly。ForanhourthecontestbetweenthemwentonandthentheywentbackintotheparlorandLouiseescapedupthestairs。"Ihopeyouwerequietoutthere。Youmustnotdisturbthelittlemouseatherstudies，"sheheardHarrietsayingtohersisterasshestoodbyherowndoorinthehallwayabove。

LouisewroteanotetoJohnHardyandlatethatnight，whenallinthehousewereasleep，shecreptdownstairsandslippeditunderhisdoor。Shewasafraidthatifshedidnotdothethingatoncehercouragewouldfail。Inthenoteshetriedtobequitedefiniteaboutwhatshewanted。"IwantsomeonetolovemeandIwanttolovesomeone，"shewrote。

"IfyouaretheoneformeIwantyoutocomeintotheorchardatnightandmakeanoiseundermywindow。Itwillbeeasyformetocrawldownovertheshedandcometoyou。Iamthinkingaboutitallthetime，soifyouaretocomeatallyoumustcomesoon。"

ForalongtimeLouisedidnotknowwhatwouldbetheoutcomeofherboldattempttosecureforherselfalover。Inawayshestilldidnotknowwhetherornotshewantedhimtocome。Sometimesitseemedtoherthattobeheldtightlyandkissedwasthewholesecretoflife，andthenanewimpulsecameandshewasterriblyafraid。Theage-oldwom-

an"sdesiretobepossessedhadtakenpossessionofher，butsovaguewashernotionoflifethatitseemedtoherjustthetouchofJohnHardy"shanduponherownhandwouldsatisfy。Shewonderedifhewouldunderstandthat。AtthetablenextdaywhileAlbertHardytalkedandthetwogirlswhis-

peredandlaughed，shedidnotlookatJohnbutatthetableandassoonaspossibleescaped。Intheeveningshewentoutofthehouseuntilshewassurehehadtakenthewoodtoherroomandgoneaway。Whenafterseveraleveningsofintenselis-

teningsheheardnocallfromthedarknessintheorchard，shewashalfbesideherselfwithgriefanddecidedthatforhertherewasnowaytobreakthroughthewallthathadshutherofffromthejoyoflife。

AndthenonaMondayeveningtwoorthreeweeksafterthewritingofthenote，JohnHardycameforher。Louisehadsoentirelygivenupthethoughtofhiscomingthatforalongtimeshedidnothearthecallthatcameupfromtheorchard。OntheFridayeveningbefore，asshewasbeingdrivenbacktothefarmfortheweek-endbyoneofthehiredmen，shehadonanimpulsedoneathingthathadstartledher，andasJohnHardystoodinthedarknessbelowandcalledhernamesoftlyandinsis-

tently，shewalkedaboutinherroomandwonderedwhatnewimpulsehadledhertocommitsoridicu-

lousanact。

Thefarmhand，ayoungfellowwithblackcurlyhair，hadcomeforhersomewhatlateonthatFridayeveningandtheydrovehomeinthedarkness。Lou-

ise，whosemindwasfilledwiththoughtsofJohnHardy，triedtomaketalkbutthecountryboywasembarrassedandwouldsaynothing。Hermindbegantoreviewthelonelinessofherchildhoodandsherememberedwithapangthesharpnewloneli-

nessthathadjustcometoher。"Ihateeveryone，"

shecriedsuddenly，andthenbrokeforthintoati-

radethatfrightenedherescort。"IhatefatherandtheoldmanHardy，too，"shedeclaredvehemently。

"IgetmylessonsthereintheschoolintownbutI

hatethatalso。"

Louisefrightenedthefarmhandstillmorebyturningandputtinghercheekdownuponhisshoul-

der。VaguelyshehopedthathelikethatyoungmanwhohadstoodinthedarknesswithMarywouldputhisarmsaboutherandkissher，butthecountryboywasonlyalarmed。Hestruckthehorsewiththewhipandbegantowhistle。"Theroadisrough，eh？"

hesaidloudly。Louisewassoangrythatreachingupshesnatchedhishatfromhisheadandthrewitintotheroad。Whenhejumpedoutofthebuggyandwenttogetit，shedroveoffandlefthimtowalktherestofthewaybacktothefarm。

LouiseBentleytookJohnHardytobeherlover。

Thatwasnotwhatshewantedbutitwassotheyoungmanhadinterpretedherapproachtohim，andsoanxiouswasshetoachievesomethingelsethatshemadenoresistance。Whenafterafewmonthstheywerebothafraidthatshewasabouttobecomeamother，theywentoneeveningtothecountyseatandweremarried。ForafewmonthstheylivedintheHardyhouseandthentookahouseoftheirown。AllduringthefirstyearLouisetriedtomakeherhusbandunderstandthevagueandin-

tangiblehungerthathadledtothewritingofthenoteandthatwasstillunsatisfied。Againandagainshecreptintohisarmsandtriedtotalkofit，butalwayswithoutsuccess。Filledwithhisownnotionsoflovebetweenmenandwomen，hedidnotlistenbutbegantokissheruponthelips。Thatconfusedhersothatintheendshedidnotwanttobekissed。

Shedidnotknowwhatshewanted。

Whenthealarmthathadtrickedthemintomar-

riageprovedtobegroundless，shewasangryandsaidbitter，hurtfulthings。LaterwhenhersonDavidwasborn，shecouldnotnursehimanddidnotknowwhethershewantedhimornot。Sometimesshestayedintheroomwithhimallday，walkingaboutandoccasionallycreepingclosetotouchhimtenderlywithherhands，andthenotherdayscamewhenshedidnotwanttoseeorbenearthetinybitofhumanitythathadcomeintothehouse。WhenJohnHardyreproachedherforhercruelty，shelaughed。"Itisamanchildandwillgetwhatitwantsanyway，"shesaidsharply。"HaditbeenawomanchildthereisnothingintheworldIwouldnothavedoneforit。"

TerrorWHENDAVIDHARDYwasatallboyoffifteen，he，likehismother，hadanadventurethatchangedthewholecurrentofhislifeandsenthimoutofhisquietcornerintotheworld。Theshellofthecircum-

stancesofhislifewasbrokenandhewascompelledtostartforth。HeleftWinesburgandnoonethereeversawhimagain。Afterhisdisappearance，hismotherandgrandfatherbothdiedandhisfatherbe-

cameveryrich。Hespentmuchmoneyintryingtolocatehisson，butthatisnopartofthisstory。

ItwasinthelatefallofanunusualyearontheBentleyfarms。Everywherethecropshadbeenheavy。Thatspring，JessehadboughtpartofalongstripofblackswamplandthatlayinthevalleyofWineCreek。Hegotthelandatalowpricebuthadspentalargesumofmoneytoimproveit。Greatditcheshadtobedugandthousandsoftilelaid。

Neighboringfarmersshooktheirheadsovertheex-

pense。SomeofthemlaughedandhopedthatJessewouldloseheavilybytheventure，buttheoldmanwentsilentlyonwiththeworkandsaidnothing。

Whenthelandwasdrainedheplantedittocab-

bagesandonions，andagaintheneighborslaughed。

Thecropwas，however，enormousandbroughthighprices。IntheoneyearJessemadeenoughmoneytopayforallthecostofpreparingthelandandhadasurplusthatenabledhimtobuytwomorefarms。

Hewasexultantandcouldnotconcealhisdelight。

Forthefirsttimeinallthehistoryofhisownershipofthefarms，hewentamonghismenwithasmilingface。

Jesseboughtagreatmanynewmachinesforcut-

tingdownthecostoflaborandalloftheremainingacresinthestripofblackfertileswampland。OnedayhewentintoWinesburgandboughtabicycleandanewsuitofclothesforDavidandhegavehistwosistersmoneywithwhichtogotoareligiousconventionatCleveland，Ohio。

InthefallofthatyearwhenthefrostcameandthetreesintheforestsalongWineCreekweregoldenbrown，Davidspenteverymomentwhenhedidnothavetoattendschool，outintheopen。

Aloneorwithotherboyshewenteveryafternoonintothewoodstogathernuts。Theotherboysofthecountryside，mostofthemsonsoflaborersontheBentleyfarms，hadgunswithwhichtheywenthuntingrabbitsandsquirrels，butDaviddidnotgowiththem。Hemadehimselfaslingwithrubberbandsandaforkedstickandwentoffbyhimselftogathernuts。Ashewentaboutthoughtscametohim。Herealizedthathewasalmostamanandwon-

deredwhathewoulddoinlife，butbeforetheycametoanything，thethoughtspassedandhewasaboyagain。Onedayhekilledasquirrelthatsatononeofthelowerbranchesofatreeandchatteredathim。Homeheranwiththesquirrelinhishand。