第9章
"ForSOMEthingsonly-Iwonderwhatshouldmakeyouregretit？"
Iwasannoyedatthisinsomedegree；becauseitembarrassedme:
I
hadonlyonereasonforregrettingit；andthatwasaprofoundsecret，whichhehadnobusinesstotroublemeabout。
"Why，"saidI-"whyshouldyousupposethatIdisliketheplace？"
"Youtoldmesoyourself，"wasthedecisivereply。"Yousaid，atleast，thatyoucouldnotlivecontentedly，withoutafriend；andthatyouhadnofriendhere，andnopossibilityofmakingone-
and，besides，IknowyouMUSTdislikeit。"
"Butifyourememberrightly，Isaid，ormeanttosay，Icouldnotlivecontentedlywithoutafriendintheworld:Iwasnotsounreasonableastorequireonealwaysnearme。IthinkIcouldbehappyinahousefullofenemies，if-"butno；thatsentencemustnotbecontinued-Ipaused，andhastilyadded，-"And，besides，wecannotwellleaveaplacewherewehavelivedfortwoorthreeyears，withoutsomefeelingofregret。"
"WillyouregrettopartwithMissMurray，yoursoleremainingpupilandcompanion？"
"IdaresayIshallinsomedegree:itwasnotwithoutsorrowI
partedwithhersister。"
"Icanimaginethat。"
"Well，MissMatildaisquiteasgood-betterinonerespect。"
"Whatisthat？"
"She"shonest。"
"Andtheotherisnot？"
"IshouldnotcallherDIShonest；butitmustbeconfessedshe"salittleartful。"
"ARTFULisshe？-Isawshewasgiddyandvain-andnow，"headded，afterapause，"Icanwellbelieveshewasartfultoo；butsoexcessivelysoastoassumeanaspectofextremesimplicityandunguardedopenness。Yes，"continuedhe，musingly，"thataccountsforsomelittlethingsthatpuzzledmeatriflebefore。"
Afterthat，heturnedtheconversationtomoregeneralsubjects。
Hedidnotleavemetillwehadnearlyreachedthepark-gates:
hehadcertainlysteppedalittleoutofhiswaytoaccompanymesofar，forhenowwentbackanddisappeareddownMossLane，theentranceofwhichwehadpassedsometimebefore。AssuredlyI
didnotregretthiscircumstance:ifsorrowhadanyplaceinmyheart，itwasthathewasgoneatlast-thathewasnolongerwalkingbymyside，andthatthatshortintervalofdelightfulintercoursewasatanend。Hehadnotbreathedawordoflove，ordroppedonehintoftendernessoraffection，andyetIhadbeensupremelyhappy。
Tobenearhim，tohearhimtalkashedidtalk，andtofeelthathethoughtmeworthytobesospokento-capableofunderstandinganddulyappreciatingsuchdiscourse-wasenough。
"Yes，EdwardWeston，Icouldindeedbehappyinahousefullofenemies，ifIhadbutonefriend，whotruly，deeply，andfaithfullylovedme；andifthatfriendwereyou-thoughwemightbefarapart-seldomtohearfromeachother，stillmoreseldomtomeet-
thoughtoil，andtrouble，andvexationmightsurroundme，still-
itwouldbetoomuchhappinessformetodreamof!Yetwhocantell，"saidIwithinmyself，asIproceededupthepark，-"whocantellwhatthisonemonthmaybringforth？Ihavelivednearlythree-and-twentyyears，andIhavesufferedmuch，andtastedlittlepleasureyet；isitlikelymylifeallthroughwillbesoclouded？
IsitnotpossiblethatGodmayhearmyprayers，dispersethesegloomyshadows，andgrantmesomebeamsofheaven"ssunshineyet？
WillHeentirelydenytomethoseblessingswhicharesofreelygiventoothers，whoneitheraskthemnoracknowledgethemwhenreceived？MayInotstillhopeandtrust？Ididhopeandtrustforawhile:but，alas，alas!thetimeebbedaway:oneweekfollowedanother，and，exceptingonedistantglimpseandtwotransientmeetings-duringwhichscarcelyanythingwassaid-
whileIwaswalkingwithMissMatilda，Isawnothingofhim:
except，ofcourse，atchurch。
Andnow，thelastSundaywascome，andthelastservice。Iwasoftenonthepointofmeltingintotearsduringthesermon-thelastIwastohearfromhim:thebestIshouldhearfromanyone，I
waswellassured。Itwasover-thecongregationweredeparting；
andImustfollow。Ihadthenseenhim，andheardhisvoice，too，probablyforthelasttime。Inthechurchyard，MatildawaspounceduponbythetwoMissesGreen。Theyhadmanyinquiriestomakeabouthersister，andIknownotwhatbesides。Ionlywishedtheywouldhavedone，thatwemighthastenbacktoHortonLodge:I
longedtoseektheretirementofmyownroom，orsomesequesterednookinthegrounds，thatImightdelivermyselfuptomyfeelings-toweepmylastfarewell，andlamentmyfalsehopesandvaindelusions。Onlythisonce，andthenadieutofruitlessdreaming-
thenceforth，onlysober，solid，sadrealityshouldoccupymymind。
ButwhileIthusresolved，alowvoiceclosebesidemesaid-"I
supposeyouaregoingthisweek，MissGrey？""Yes，"Ireplied。
I
wasverymuchstartled；andhadIbeenatallhystericallyinclined，Icertainlyshouldhavecommittedmyselfinsomewaythen。ThankGod，Iwasnot。
"Well，"saidMr。Weston，"Iwanttobidyougood-bye-itisnotlikelyIshallseeyouagainbeforeyougo。"
"Good-bye，Mr。Weston，"Isaid。Oh，howIstruggledtosayitcalmly!Igavehimmyhand。Heretaineditafewsecondsinhis。
"Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，"saidhe；"willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？"
"Yes，Ishouldbeverygladtoseeyouagain。"
ICOULDsaynoless。Hekindlypressedmyhand，andwent。
Now，I
washappyagain-thoughmoreinclinedtoburstintotearsthanever。IfIhadbeenforcedtospeakatthatmoment，asuccessionofsobswouldhaveinevitablyensued；andasitwas，Icouldnotkeepthewateroutofmyeyes。IwalkedalongwithMissMurray，turningasidemyface，andneglectingtonoticeseveralsuccessiveremarks，tillshebawledoutthatIwaseitherdeaforstupid；andthen(havingrecoveredmyself-possession)，asoneawakenedfromafitofabstraction，Isuddenlylookedupandaskedwhatshehadbeensaying。
chapter21
CHAPTERXXI-THESCHOOL
ILEFTHortonLodge，andwenttojoinmymotherinournewabodeatA。Ifoundherwellinhealth，resignedinspirit，andevencheerful，thoughsubduedandsober，inhergeneraldemeanour。
Wehadonlythreeboardersandhalfadozenday-pupilstocommencewith；butbyduecareanddiligencewehopederelongtoincreasethenumberofboth。
Isetmyselfwithbefittingenergytodischargethedutiesofthisnewmodeoflife。IcallitNEW，fortherewas，indeed，aconsiderabledifferencebetweenworkingwithmymotherinaschoolofourown，andworkingasahirelingamongstrangers，despisedandtrampleduponbyoldandyoung；andforthefirstfewweeksIwasbynomeansunhappy。"Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，"and"willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？"-Thosewordsstillranginmyearandrestedonmyheart:theyweremysecretsolaceandsupport。"Ishallseehimagain-Hewillcome；
orhewillwrite。"Nopromise，infact，wastoobrightortooextravagantforHopetowhisperinmyear。Ididnotbelievehalfofwhatshetoldme:Ipretendedtolaughatitall；butIwasfarmorecredulousthanImyselfsupposed；otherwise，whydidmyheartleapupwhenaknockwasheardatthefrontdoor，andthemaid，whoopenedit，cametotellmymotheragentlemanwishedtoseeher？
andwhywasIoutofhumourfortherestoftheday，becauseitprovedtobeamusic-mastercometoofferhisservicestoourschool？andwhatstoppedmybreathforamoment，whenthepostmanhavingbroughtacoupleofletters，mymothersaid，"Here，Agnes，thisisforyou，"andthrewoneofthemtome？andwhatmadethehotbloodrushintomyfacewhenIsawitwasdirectedinagentleman"shand？andwhy-oh!whydidthatcold，sickeningsenseofdisappointmentfalluponme，whenIhadtornopenthecoverandfounditwasONLYaletterfromMary，which，forsomereasonorother，herhusbandhaddirectedforher？
Wasitthencometothis-thatIshouldbeDISAPPOINTEDtoreceivealetterfrommyonlysister:andbecauseitwasnotwrittenbyacomparativestranger？DearMary!andshehadwrittenitsokindly-andthinkingIshouldbesopleasedtohaveit!-Iwasnotworthytoreadit!AndIbelieve，inmyindignationagainstmyself，IshouldhaveputitasidetillIhadschooledmyselfintoabetterframeofmind，andwasbecomemoredeservingofthehonourandprivilegeofitsperusal:buttherewasmymotherlookingon，andwishfultoknowwhatnewsitcontained；soIreaditanddeliveredittoher，andthenwentintotheschoolroomtoattendtothepupils:butamidstthecaresofcopiesandsums-intheintervalsofcorrectingerrorshere，andreprovingderelictionsofdutythere，Iwasinwardlytakingmyselftotaskwithfarsternerseverity。"Whatafoolyoumustbe，"saidmyheadtomyheart，ormysternertomysofterself；-"howcouldyoueverdreamthathewouldwritetoyou？Whatgroundshaveyouforsuchahope-orthathewillseeyou，orgivehimselfanytroubleaboutyou-oreventhinkofyouagain？""Whatgrounds？"-andthenHopesetbeforemethatlast，shortinterview，andrepeatedthewordsIhadsofaithfullytreasuredinmymemory。"Well，andwhatwasthereinthat？-Whoeverhunghishopesuponsofrailatwig？Whatwasthereinthosewordsthatanycommonacquaintancemightnotsaytoanother？Ofcourse，itwaspossibleyoumightmeetagain:
hemighthavesaidsoifyouhadbeengoingtoNewZealand；butthatdidnotimplyanyINTENTIONofseeingyou-andthen，astothequestionthatfollowed，anyonemightaskthat:andhowdidyouanswer？-Merelywithastupid，commonplacereply，suchasyouwouldhavegiventoMasterMurray，oranyoneelseyouhadbeenontolerablyciviltermswith。""But，then，"persistedHope，"thetoneandmannerinwhichhespoke。""Oh，thatisnonsense!healwaysspeaksimpressively；andatthatmomentthereweretheGreensandMissMatildaMurrayjustbefore，andotherpeoplepassingby，andhewasobligedtostandclosebesideyou，andtospeakverylow，unlesshewishedeverybodytohearwhathesaid，which-thoughitwasnothingatallparticular-ofcourse，hewouldrathernot。"Butthen，aboveall，thatemphatic，yetgentlepressureofthehand，whichseemedtosay，"TRUSTme；"andmanyotherthingsbesides-toodelightful，almosttooflattering，toberepeatedeventoone"sself。"Egregiousfolly-tooabsurdtorequirecontradiction-mereinventionsoftheimagination，whichyououghttobeashamedof。Ifyouwouldbutconsideryourownunattractiveexterior，yourunamiablereserve，yourfoolishdiffidence-whichmustmakeyouappearcold，dull，awkward，andperhapsill-temperedtoo；-ifyouhadbutrightlyconsideredthesefromthebeginning，youwouldneverhaveharbouredsuchpresumptuousthoughts:andnowthatyouhavebeensofoolish，prayrepentandamend，andletushavenomoreofit!"
IcannotsaythatIimplicitlyobeyedmyowninjunctions:butsuchreasoningasthisbecamemoreandmoreeffectiveastimeworeon，andnothingwasseenorheardofMr。Weston；until，atlast，Igaveuphoping，forevenmyheartacknowledgeditwasallinvain。
Butstill，Iwouldthinkofhim:Iwouldcherishhisimageinmymind；
andtreasureeveryword，look，andgesturethatmymemorycouldretain；andbroodoverhisexcellencesandhispeculiarities，and，infact，allIhadseen，heard，orimaginedrespectinghim。
"Agnes，thisseaairandchangeofscenedoyounogood，Ithink:
Ineversawyoulooksowretched。Itmustbethatyousittoomuch，andallowthecaresoftheschoolroomtoworryyou。Youmustlearntotakethingseasy，andtobemoreactiveandcheerful；youmusttakeexercisewheneveryoucangetit，andleavethemosttiresomedutiestome:theywillonlyservetoexercisemypatience，and，perhaps，trymytemperalittle。"
Sosaidmymother，aswesatatworkonemorningduringtheEasterholidays。Iassuredherthatmyemploymentswerenotatalloppressive；thatIwaswell；or，iftherewasanythingamiss，itwouldbegoneassoonasthetryingmonthsofspringwereover:
whensummercameIshouldbeasstrongandheartyasshecouldwishtoseeme:butinwardlyherobservationstartledme。Iknewmystrengthwasdeclining，myappetitehadfailed，andIwasgrownlistlessanddesponding；-andif，indeed，hecouldnevercareforme，andIcouldneverseehimmore-ifIwasforbiddentoministertohishappiness-forbidden，forever，totastethejoysoflove，tobless，andtobeblessed-then，lifemustbeaburden，andifmyheavenlyFatherwouldcallmeaway，Ishouldbegladtorest。
Butitwouldnotdotodieandleavemymother。Selfish，unworthydaughter，toforgetherforamoment!Wasnotherhappinesscommittedinagreatmeasuretomycharge？-andthewelfareofouryoungpupilstoo？ShouldIshrinkfromtheworkthatGodhadsetbeforeme，becauseitwasnotfittedtomytaste？DidnotHeknowbestwhatIshoulddo，andwhereIoughttolabour？-andshouldI
longtoquitHisservicebeforeIhadfinishedmytask，andexpecttoenterintoHisrestwithouthavinglabouredtoearnit？"No；
byHishelpIwillariseandaddressmyselfdiligentlytomyappointedduty。Ifhappinessinthisworldisnotforme，Iwillendeavourtopromotethewelfareofthosearoundme，andmyrewardshallbehereafter。"SosaidIinmyheart；andfromthathourIonlypermittedmythoughtstowandertoEdwardWeston-oratleasttodwelluponhimnowandthen-asatreatforrareoccasions:and，whetheritwasreallytheapproachofsummerortheeffectofthesegoodresolutions，orthelapseoftime，oralltogether，tranquillityofmindwassoonrestored；andbodilyhealthandvigourbeganlikewise，slowly，butsurely，toreturn。
EarlyinJune，IreceivedaletterfromLadyAshby，lateMissMurray。Shehadwrittentometwiceorthricebefore，fromthedifferentstagesofherbridaltour，alwaysingoodspirits，andprofessingtobeveryhappy。Iwonderedeverytimethatshehadnotforgottenme，inthemidstofsomuchgaietyandvarietyofscene。Atlength，however，therewasapause；anditseemedshehadforgottenme，forupwardsofsevenmonthspassedawayandnoletter。Ofcourse，IdidnotbreakmyheartaboutTHAT，thoughI
oftenwonderedhowshewasgettingon；andwhenthislastepistlesounexpectedlyarrived，Iwasgladenoughtoreceiveit。ItwasdatedfromAshbyPark，whereshewascometosettledownatlast，havingpreviouslydividedhertimebetweenthecontinentandthemetropolis。Shemademanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，assuredmeshehadnotforgottenme，andhadoftenintendedtowrite，&；c。&；c。，buthadalwaysbeenpreventedbysomething。
Sheacknowledgedthatshehadbeenleadingaverydissipatedlife，andIshouldthinkherverywickedandverythoughtless；but，notwithstandingthat，shethoughtagreatdeal，and，amongotherthings，thatsheshouldvastlyliketoseeme。"Wehavebeenseveraldaysherealready，"wroteshe。"Wehavenotasinglefriendwithus，andarelikelytobeverydull。YouknowIneverhadafancyforlivingwithmyhusbandliketwoturtlesinanest，werehethemostdelightfulcreaturethateverworeacoat；sodotakepityuponmeandcome。IsupposeyourMidsummerholidayscommenceinJune，thesameasotherpeople"s；thereforeyoucannotpleadwantoftime；andyoumustandshallcome-infact，Ishalldieifyoudon"t。Iwantyoutovisitmeasafriend，andstayalongtime。Thereisnobodywithme，asItoldyoubefore，butSirThomasandoldLadyAshby:butyouneedn"tmindthem-they"lltroubleusbutlittlewiththeircompany。Andyoushallhavearoomtoyourself，wheneveryouliketoretiretoit，andplentyofbookstoreadwhenmycompanyisnotsufficientlyamusing。I
forgetwhetheryoulikebabies；ifyoudo，youmayhavethepleasureofseeingmine-themostcharmingchildintheworld，nodoubt；andallthemoreso，thatIamnottroubledwithnursingit-IwasdeterminedIwouldn"tbebotheredwiththat。
Unfortunately，itisagirl，andSirThomashasneverforgivenme:
but，however，ifyouwillonlycome，Ipromiseyoushallbeitsgovernessassoonasitcanspeak；andyoushallbringitupinthewayitshouldgo，andmakeabetterwomanofitthanitsmamma。
Andyoushallseemypoodle，too:asplendidlittlecharmerimportedfromParis:andtwofineItalianpaintingsofgreatvalue-Iforgettheartist。Doubtlessyouwillbeabletodiscoverprodigiousbeautiesinthem，whichyoumustpointouttome，asI
onlyadmirebyhearsay；andmanyelegantcuriositiesbesides，whichIpurchasedatRomeandelsewhere；and，finally，youshallseemynewhome-thesplendidhouseandgroundsIusedtocovetsogreatly。Alas!howfarthepromiseofanticipationexceedsthepleasureofpossession!There"safinesentiment!IassureyouI
ambecomequiteagraveoldmatron:praycome，ifitbeonlytowitnessthewonderfulchange。Writebyreturnofpost，andtellmewhenyourvacationcommences，andsaythatyouwillcomethedayafter，andstaytillthedaybeforeitcloses-inmercyto"Yoursaffectionately，"ROSALIEASHBY。"
Ishowedthisstrangeepistletomymother，andconsultedheronwhatIoughttodo。Sheadvisedmetogo；andIwent-willingenoughtoseeLadyAshby，andherbaby，too，andtodoanythingI
couldtobenefither，byconsolationoradvice；forIimaginedshemustbeunhappy，orshewouldnothaveappliedtomethus-butfeeling，asmayreadilybeconceived，that，inacceptingtheinvitation，Imadeagreatsacrificeforher，anddidviolencetomyfeelingsinmanyways，insteadofbeingdelightedwiththehonourabledistinctionofbeingentreatedbythebaronet"sladytovisitherasafriend。However，Ideterminedmyvisitshouldbeonlyforafewdaysatmost；andIwillnotdenythatIderivedsomeconsolationfromtheideathat，asAshbyParkwasnotveryfarfromHorton，ImightpossiblyseeMr。Weston，or，atleast，hearsomethingabouthim。
chapter22
CHAPTERXXII-THEVISIT
ASHBYPARKwascertainlyaverydelightfulresidence。Themansionwasstatelywithout，commodiousandelegantwithin；theparkwasspaciousandbeautiful，chieflyonaccountofitsmagnificentoldtrees，itsstatelyherdsofdeer，itsbroadsheetofwater，andtheancientwoodsthatstretchedbeyondit:fortherewasnobrokengroundtogivevarietytothelandscape，andbutverylittleofthatundulatingswellwhichaddssogreatlytothecharmofparkscenery。Andso，thiswastheplaceRosalieMurrayhadsolongedtocallherown，thatshemusthaveashareofit，onwhatevertermsitmightbeoffered-whateverpricewastobepaidforthetitleofmistress，andwhoeverwastobeherpartnerinthehonourandblissofsuchapossession!WellIamnotdisposedtocensurehernow。
Shereceivedmeverykindly；and，thoughIwasapoorclergyman"sdaughter，agoverness，andaschoolmistress，shewelcomedmewithunaffectedpleasuretoherhome；and-whatsurprisedmerather-
tooksomepainstomakemyvisitagreeable。Icouldsee，itistrue，thatsheexpectedmetobegreatlystruckwiththemagnificencethatsurroundedher；and，Iconfess，Iwasratherannoyedatherevidenteffortstoreassureme，andpreventmefrombeingoverwhelmedbysomuchgrandeur-toomuchawedattheideaofencounteringherhusbandandmother-in-law，ortoomuchashamedofmyownhumbleappearance。Iwasnotashamedofitatall；for，thoughplain，Ihadtakengoodcarenottoshabbyormean，andshouldhavebeenprettyconsiderablyatmyease，ifmycondescendinghostesshadnottakensuchmanifestpainstomakemeso；and，asforthemagnificencethatsurroundedher，nothingthatmetmyeyesstruckmeoraffectedmehalfsomuchasherownalteredappearance。Whetherfromtheinfluenceoffashionabledissipation，orsomeotherevil，aspaceoflittlemorethantwelvemonthshadhadtheeffectthatmightbeexpectedfromasmanyyears，inreducingtheplumpnessofherform，thefreshnessofhercomplexion，thevivacityofhermovements，andtheexuberanceofherspirits。
Iwishedtoknowifshewasunhappy；butIfeltitwasnotmyprovincetoinquire:Imightendeavourtowinherconfidence；
but，ifshechosetoconcealhermatrimonialcaresfromme，Iwouldtroubleherwithnoobtrusivequestions。I，therefore，atfirst，confinedmyselftoafewgeneralinquiriesaboutherhealthandwelfare，andafewcommendationsonthebeautyofthepark，andofthelittlegirlthatshouldhavebeenaboy:asmalldelicateinfantofsevenoreightweeksold，whomitsmotherseemedtoregardwithnoremarkabledegreeofinterestoraffection，thoughfullasmuchasIexpectedhertoshow。
Shortlyaftermyarrival，shecommissionedhermaidtoconductmetomyroomandseethatIhadeverythingIwanted；itwasasmall，unpretending，butsufficientlycomfortableapartment。WhenI
descendedthence-havingdivestedmyselfofalltravellingencumbrances，andarrangedmytoiletwithdueconsiderationforthefeelingsofmyladyhostess，sheconductedmeherselftotheroomI
wastooccupywhenIchosetobealone，orwhenshewasengagedwithvisitors，orobligedtobewithhermother-in-law，orotherwiseprevented，asshesaid，fromenjoyingthepleasureofmysociety。Itwasaquiet，tidylittlesitting-room；andIwasnotsorrytobeprovidedwithsuchaharbourofrefuge。
"Andsometime，"saidshe，"Iwillshowyouthelibrary:Ineverexamineditsshelves，but，Idaresay，itisfullofwisebooks；andyoumaygoandburrowamongthemwheneveryouplease。Andnowyoushallhavesometea-itwillsoonbedinner-time，butIthought，asyouwereaccustomedtodineatone，youwouldperhapslikebettertohaveacupofteaaboutthistime，andtodinewhenwelunch:andthen，youknow，youcanhaveyourteainthisroom，andthatwillsaveyoufromhavingtodinewithLadyAshbyandSirThomas:whichwouldberatherawkward-atleast，notawkward，butrather-a-youknowwhatImean。Ithoughtyoumightn"tlikeitsowell-especiallyaswemayhaveotherladiesandgentlementodinewithusoccasionally。"
"Certainly，"saidI，"Iwouldmuchratherhaveitasyousay，and，ifyouhavenoobjection，Ishouldpreferhavingallmymealsinthisroom。"
"Whyso？"
"Because，Iimagine，itwouldbemoreagreeabletoLadyAshbyandSirThomas。"
"Nothingofthekind。"
"Atanyrateitwouldbemoreagreeabletome。"
Shemadesomefaintobjections，butsoonconceded；andIcouldseethattheproposalwasaconsiderablerelieftoher。
"Now，comeintothedrawing-room，"saidshe。"There"sthedressingbell；butIwon"tgoyet:it"snousedressingwhenthere"snoonetoseeyou；andIwanttohavealittlediscourse。"
Thedrawing-roomwascertainlyanimposingapartment，andveryelegantlyfurnished；butIsawitsyoungmistressglancetowardsmeasweentered，asiftonoticehowIwasimpressedbythespectacle，andaccordinglyIdeterminedtopreserveanaspectofstonyindifference，asifIsawnothingatallremarkable。Butthiswasonlyforamoment:immediatelyconsciencewhispered，"WhyshouldIdisappointhertosavemypride？No-ratherletmesacrificemypridetogiveheralittleinnocentgratification。"
AndIhonestlylookedround，andtoldheritwasanobleroom，andverytastefullyfurnished。Shesaidlittle，butIsawshewaspleased。
SheshowedmeherfatFrenchpoodle，thatlaycurleduponasilkcushion，andthetwofineItalianpaintings:which，however，shewouldnotgivemetimetoexamine，but，sayingImustlookatthemsomeotherday，insisteduponmyadmiringthelittlejewelledwatchshehadpurchasedinGeneva；andthenshetookmeroundtheroomtopointoutsundryarticlesofVERTUshehadbroughtfromItaly:
anelegantlittletimepiece，andseveralbusts，smallgracefulfigures，andvases，allbeautifullycarvedinwhitemarble。Shespokeofthesewithanimation，andheardmyadmiringcommentswithasmileofpleasure:thatsoon，however，vanished，andwasfollowedbyamelancholysigh；asifinconsiderationoftheinsufficiencyofallsuchbaublestothehappinessofthehumanheart，andtheirwoefulinabilitytosupplyitsinsatiatedemands。
Then，stretchingherselfuponacouch，shemotionedmetoacapaciouseasy-chairthatstoodopposite-notbeforethefire，butbeforeawideopenwindow；foritwassummer，beitremembered；asweet，warmeveninginthelatterhalfofJune。Isatforamomentinsilence，enjoyingthestill，pureair，andthedelightfulprospectoftheparkthatlaybeforeme，richinverdureandfoliage，andbaskinginyellowsunshine，relievedbythelongshadowsofdecliningday。ButImusttakeadvantageofthispause:
Ihadinquiriestomake，and，likethesubstanceofalady"spostscript，themostimportantmustcomelast。SoIbeganwithaskingafterMr。andMrs。Murray，andMissMatildaandtheyounggentlemen。
Iwastoldthatpapahadthegout，whichmadehimveryferocious；
andthathewouldnotgiveuphischoicewines，andhissubstantialdinnersandsuppers，andhadquarrelledwithhisphysician，becausethelatterhaddaredtosaythatnomedicinecouldcurehimwhilehelivedsofreely；thatmammaandtherestwerewell。Matildawasstillwildandreckless，butshehadgotafashionablegoverness，andwasconsiderablyimprovedinhermanners，andsoontobeintroducedtotheworld；andJohnandCharles(nowathomefortheholidays)were，byallaccounts，"fine，bold，unruly，mischievousboys。"
"Andhowaretheotherpeoplegettingon？"saidI-"theGreens，forinstance？"
"Ah!Mr。Greenisheart-broken，youknow，"repliedshe，withalanguidsmile:"hehasn"tgotoverhisdisappointmentyet，andneverwill，Isuppose。He"sdoomedtobeanoldbachelor；andhissistersaredoingtheirbesttogetmarried。"
"AndtheMelthams？"
"Oh，they"rejoggingonasusual，Isuppose:butIknowverylittleaboutanyofthem-exceptHarry，"saidshe，blushingslightly，andsmilingagain。"IsawagreatdealofhimwhilewewereinLondon；for，assoonasheheardwewerethere，hecameupunderpretenceofvisitinghisbrother，andeitherfollowedme，likeashadow，whereverIwent，ormetme，likeareflection，ateveryturn。Youneedn"tlooksoshocked，MissGrey；Iwasverydiscreet，Iassureyou，but，youknow，onecan"thelpbeingadmired。Poorfellow!Hewasnotmyonlyworshipper；thoughhewascertainlythemostconspicuous，and，Ithink，themostdevotedamongthemall。Andthatdetestable-ahem-andSirThomaschosetotakeoffenceathim-ormyprofuseexpenditure，orsomething-
Idon"texactlyknowwhat-andhurriedmedowntothecountryatamoment"snotice；whereI"mtoplaythehermit，Isuppose，forlife。"
Andshebitherlip，andfrownedvindictivelyuponthefairdomainshehadoncesocovetedtocallherown。
"AndMr。Hatfield，"saidI，"whatisbecomeofhim？"
Againshebrightenedup，andansweredgaily-"Oh!hemadeuptoanelderlyspinster，andmarriedher，notlongsince；weighingherheavypurseagainstherfadedcharms，andexpectingtofindthatsolaceingoldwhichwasdeniedhiminlove-ha，ha!"
"Well，andIthinkthat"sall-exceptMr。Weston:whatishedoing？"
"Idon"tknow，I"msure。He"sgonefromHorton。"
"Howlongsince？andwhereishegoneto？"
"Iknownothingabouthim，"repliedshe，yawning-"exceptthathewentaboutamonthago-Ineveraskedwhere"(Iwouldhaveaskedwhetheritwastoalivingormerelyanothercuracy，butthoughtitbetternot)；"andthepeoplemadeagreatroutabouthisleaving，"
continuedshe，"muchtoMr。Hatfield"sdispleasure；forHatfielddidn"tlikehim，becausehehadtoomuchinfluencewiththecommonpeople，andbecausehewasnotsufficientlytractableandsubmissivetohim-andforsomeotherunpardonablesins，Idon"tknowwhat。ButnowIpositivelymustgoanddress:thesecondbellwillringdirectly，andifIcometodinnerinthisguise，I
shallneverheartheendofitfromLadyAshby。It"sastrangethingonecan"tbemistressinone"sownhouse!Justringthebell，andI"llsendformymaid，andtellthemtogetyousometea。
Onlythinkofthatintolerablewoman-"
"Who-yourmaid？"
"No；-mymother-in-law-andmyunfortunatemistake!Insteadoflettinghertakeherselfofftosomeotherhouse，assheofferedtodowhenImarried，Iwasfoolenoughtoaskhertoliveherestill，anddirecttheaffairsofthehouseforme；because，inthefirstplace，Ihopedweshouldspendthegreaterpartoftheyear，intown，andinthesecondplace，beingsoyoungandinexperienced，I
wasfrightenedattheideaofhavingahousefulofservantstomanage，anddinnerstoorder，andpartiestoentertain，andalltherestofit，andIthoughtshemightassistmewithherexperience；
neverdreamingshewouldproveausurper，atyrant，anincubus，aspy，andeverythingelsethat"sdetestable。Iwishshewasdead!"
Shethenturnedtogiveherorderstothefootman，whohadbeenstandingboltuprightwithinthedoorforthelasthalfminute，andhadheardthelatterpartofheranimadversions；and，ofcourse，madehisownreflectionsuponthem，notwithstandingtheinflexible，woodencountenancehethoughtpropertopreserveinthedrawing-
room。Onmyremarkingafterwardsthathemusthaveheardher，shereplied-"Oh，nomatter!Inevercareaboutthefootmen；they"remereautomatons:it"snothingtothemwhattheirsuperiorssayordo；theywon"tdaretorepeatit；andastowhattheythink-iftheypresumetothinkatall-ofcourse，nobodycaresforthat。
Itwouldbeaprettythingindeed，itweweretobetongue-tiedbyourservants!"
Sosaying，sheranofftomakeherhastytoilet，leavingmetopilotmywaybacktomysitting-room，where，induetime，Iwasservedwithacupoftea。Afterthat，IsatmusingonLadyAshby"spastandpresentcondition；andonwhatlittleinformationIhadobtainedrespectingMr。Weston，andthesmallchancetherewasofeverseeingorhearinganythingmoreofhimthroughoutmyquiet，drab-colourlife:which，henceforth，seemedtooffernoalternativebetweenpositiverainydays，anddaysofdullgreycloudswithoutdownfall。Atlength，however，Ibegantowearyofmythoughts，andtowishIknewwheretofindthelibrarymyhostesshadspokenof；andtowonderwhetherIwastoremaintheredoingnothingtillbedtime。
AsIwasnotrichenoughtopossessawatch，Icouldnottellhowtimewaspassing，exceptbyobservingtheslowlylengtheningshadowsfromthewindow；whichpresentedasideview，includingacornerofthepark，aclumpoftreeswhosetopmostbrancheshadbeencolonizedbyaninnumerablecompanyofnoisyrooks，andahighwallwithamassivewoodengate:nodoubtcommunicatingwiththestable-yard，asabroadcarriage-roadsweptuptoitfromthepark。
TheshadowofthiswallsoontookposessionofthewholeofthegroundasfarasIcouldsee，forcingthegoldensunlighttoretreatinchbyinch，andatlasttakerefugeintheverytopsofthetrees。Erelong，eventheywereleftinshadow-theshadowofthedistanthills，oroftheearthitself；and，insympathyforthebusycitizensoftherookery，Iregrettedtoseetheirhabitation，solatelybathedingloriouslight，reducedtothesombre，work-a-
dayhueofthelowerworld，orofmyownworldwithin。Foramoment，suchbirdsassoaredabovetherestmightstillreceivethelustreontheirwings，whichimpartedtotheirsableplumagethehueandbrillianceofdeepredgold；atlast，thattoodeparted。
Twilightcamestealingon；therooksbecamemorequiet；Ibecamemoreweary，andwishedIweregoinghometo-morrow。Atlengthitgrewdark；andIwasthinkingofringingforacandle，andbetakingmyselftobed，whenmyhostessappeared，withmanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，andlayingalltheblameuponthat"nastyoldwoman，"asshecalledhermother-in-law。
"IfIdidn"tsitwithherinthedrawing-roomwhileSirThomasistakinghiswine，"saidshe，"shewouldneverforgiveme；andthen，ifIleavetheroomtheinstanthecomes-asIhavedoneonceortwice-itisanunpardonableoffenceagainstherdearThomas。
SHE
nevershowedsuchdisrespecttoHERhusband:andasforaffection，wivesneverthinkofthatnow-a-days，shesupposes:butthingsweredifferentinHERtime-asiftherewasanygoodtobedonebystayingintheroom，whenhedoesnothingbutgrumbleandscoldwhenhe"sinabadhumour，talkdisgustingnonsensewhenhe"sinagoodone，andgotosleeponthesofawhenhe"stoostupidforeither；whichismostfrequentlythecasenow，whenhehasnothingtodobuttosotoverhiswine。"
"Butcouldyounottrytooccupyhismindwithsomethingbetter；
andengagehimtogiveupsuchhabits？I"msureyouhavepowersofpersuasion，andqualificationsforamusingagentleman，whichmanyladieswouldbegladtopossess。"
"AndsoyouthinkIwouldlaymyselfoutforhisamusement!No:
that"snotMYideaofawife。It"sthehusband"sparttopleasethewife，notherstopleasehim；andifheisn"tsatisfiedwithherassheis-andthankfultopossesshertoo-heisn"tworthyofher，that"sall。Andasforpersuasion，IassureyouIshan"ttroublemyselfwiththat:I"veenoughtodotobearwithhimasheis，withoutattemptingtoworkareform。ButI"msorryIleftyousolongalone，MissGrey。Howhaveyoupassedthetime？"
"Chieflyinwatchingtherooks。"
"Mercy，howdullyoumusthavebeen!Ireallymustshowyouthelibrary；andyoumustringforeverythingyouwant，justasyouwouldinaninn，andmakeyourselfcomfortable。Ihaveselfishreasonsforwishingtomakeyouhappy，becauseIwantyoutostaywithme，andnotfulfilyourhorridthreatofrunningawayinadayortwo。"
"Well，don"tletmekeepyououtofthedrawing-roomanylongerto-
night，foratpresentIamtiredandwishtogotobed。"
chapter23
CHAPTERXXIII-THEPARK
ICAMEdownalittlebeforeeight，nextmorning，asIknewbythestrikingofadistantclock。Therewasnoappearanceofbreakfast。
Iwaitedaboveanhourbeforeitcame，stillvainlylongingforaccesstothelibrary；and，afterthatlonelyrepastwasconcluded，Iwaitedagainaboutanhourandahalfingreatsuspenseanddiscomfort，uncertainwhattodo。AtlengthLadyAshbycametobidmegood-morning。Sheinformedmeshehadonlyjustbreakfasted，andnowwantedmetotakeanearlywalkwithherinthepark。
SheaskedhowlongIhadbeenup，andonreceivingmyanswer，expressedthedeepestregret，andagainpromisedtoshowmethelibrary。