第9章
TheGovernorstraightenedhisback。"Giveear，Opeople!"hecried。"ImakeanewLaw!"
Thevillagersclosedin。Hecalled:——
"HenceforwardIwillgiveonedollartothemanonwhoselandAbuHusseinisfound。Andanotherdollar"——heheldupthecoin——"tothemanonwhoselandthesedogsshallkillhim。ButtothemanonwhoselandAbuHusseinshallrunintoaholesuchasisthishole，Iwillgivenotdollars，butamostunmeasurablebeating。
Isitunderstood？"
"OurExcellency，"amansteppedforth，"onmylandAbuHusseinwasfoundthismorning。Isitnotso，brothers？"
Nonedenied。TheGovernortossedhimoverfourdollarswithoutaword。
"Onmylandtheyallwentintotheirholes，"criedanother。
"ThereforeImustbebeaten。"
"Notso。Thelandismine，andminearethebeatings。"
Thissecondspeakerthrustforwardhisshouldersalreadybared，andthevillagersshouted。
"Hullo!Twomenanxioustobelicked？Theremustbesomeswindleabouttheland，"saidtheGovernor。Theninthelocalvernacular:
"Whatareyourrightstothebeating？"
Asariver-reachchangesbeneathaslantofthesun，thatwhichhadbeenascatteredmobchangedtoacourtofmostancientjustice。ThehoundstoreandsobbedatAbuHussein"shearthstone，allunnoticedamongthelegsofthewitnesses，andGihon，alsoaccustomedtolaws，purredapproval。
"YouwillnotwaittilltheJudgescomeuptherivertosettlethedispute？"saidtheGovernoratlast。
"No!"shoutedallthevillagesavethemanwhohadfirstaskedtobebeaten。"WewillabidebyOurExcellency"sdecision。LetOurExcellencyturnoutthecreaturesoftheEmirswhostoleourlandinthedaysoftheOppression。"
"Andthousayest？"theGovernorturnedtothemanwhohadfirstaskedtobebeaten。
"Isay1willwaittillthewiseJudgescomedowninthesteamer。
ThenIwillbringmymanywitnesses，"hereplied。
"Heisrich。Hewillbringmanywitnesses，"thevillageSheikhmuttered。
"Noneed。Thyownmouthcondemnsthee!"theGovernorcried。"Nomanlawfullyentitledtohislandwouldwaitonehourbeforeenteringuponit。Standaside!"Theman，fellback，andthevillagejeeredhim。
Thesecondclaimantstoopedquicklybeneaththeliftedhunting-crop。Thevillagerejoiced。
"Oh，Suchanone；Sonofsuchanone，"saidtheGovernor，promptedbytheSheikh，"learn，fromthedaywhenIsendtheorder，toblockupalltheholeswhereAbuHusseinmayhideon——thy——land!"
Thelightflicksended。Themanstooduptriumphant。BythataccoladehadtheSupremeGovernmentacknowledgedhistitlebeforeallmen。
WhilethevillagepraisedtheperspicacityoftheGovernor，anaked，pock-markedchildstrodeforwardtotheearth，andstoodononeleg，unconcernedasayoungstork。
"Hal"hesaid，handsbehindhisback。"Thisshouldbeblockedupwithbundlesofdhurrastalks——or，better，bundlesofthorns。"
"Betterthorns，"saidtheGovernor。"Thickendsinnermost。"
Thechildnoddedgravelyandsquattedonthesand。
"Anevildayforthee，AbuHussein，"heshrilledintothemouthoftheearth。"Adayofobstaclestothyflagitiousreturnsinthemorning。"
"Whoisit？"theGovernoraskedtheSheikh。"Itthinks。"
"FaragtheFatherless。HispeoplewereslaininthedaysoftheOppression。ThemantowhomOurExcellencyhasawardedthelandis，asitwere，hismaternaluncle。"
"Willitcomewithmeandfeedthebigdogs？"saidtheGovernor。
Theotherpeeringchildrendrewback。"Run!"theycried。"OurExcellencywillfeedFaragtothebigdogs。"
"Iwillcome，"saidFarag。"AndIwillnevergo。"HethrewhisarmroundRoyal"sneck，andthewisebeastlickedhisface。
"Binjamin，byJove!"theInspectorcried。
"No!"saidtheGovernor。"IbelievehehasthemakingsofaJamesPigg!"
Faragwavedhishandtohisuncle，andledRoyalontothebarge。
Therestofthepackfollowed。
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Gihon，thathadseenmanysports，learnedtoknowtheHuntbargewell。HemetherroundinghisbendsongreyDecemberdawnstomusicwildandlamentableasthealmostforgottenthrobofDervishdrums，when，highaboveRoyal"stenorbell，sharpereventhanlyingBeagle-boy"sfalsettobreak，FaragchanteddeathlesswaragainstAbuHusseinandallhisseed。Atsunrisetheriverwouldshoulderhercarefullyintoherplace，andlistentotherushandscutterofthepackfleeingupthegang-plank，andthetrampoftheGovernor"sArabbehindthem。TheywouldpassoverthebrowintothedewlesscropswhereGihon，lowandshrunken，couldonlyguesswhattheywereaboutwhenAbuHusseinflewdownthebanktoscratchatastoppedearth，andflewbackintothebarleyagain。AsFaraghadforetold，itwasevildaysforAbuHusseinerehelearnedtotakethenecessarystepsandtogetawaycrisply。SometimesGihonsawthewholeprocessionoftheHuntsilhouettedagainstthemorning-blue，bearinghimcompanyformanymerrymiles。Ateveryhalfmilethehorsesandthedonkeysjumpedthewater-channels——up，on，changeyourleg，andoffagainlikefiguresinazoetrope，tilltheygrewsmallalongthelineofwaterwheels。
ThenGibonwaitedtheirrustlingreturnthroughthecrops，andtookthemtorestonhisbosomatteno"clock。Whilethehorsesate，andFaragsleptwithhisheadonRoyal"sflank，theGovernorandhisInspectorworkedforthegoodoftheHuntandhisProvince。
Afteralittletimetherewasnoneedtobeatanymanforneglectinghisearths。Thesteamer"sdestinationwastelegraphedfromwaterwheeltowaterwheel，andthevillagersstoppedoutandputtoaccording。Ifanearthwereoverlooked，itmeantsomedisputeastotheownershipoftheland，andthenandtheretheHuntcheckedandsettleditinthiswise:TheGovernorandtheInspectorsidebyside，butthelatterhalfahorse"slengthtotherear；bothbare-shoulderedclaimantswellinfront；thevillagershalf-moonedbehindthem，andFaragwiththepack，whoquiteunderstoodtheperformance，sittingdownontheleft。
Twentyminuteswereenoughtosettlethemostcomplicatedcase，for，astheGovernorsaidtoajudgeonthesteamer，"Onegetsatthetruthinahunting-fieldaheapquickerthaninyourlawcourts。"
"Butwhentheevidenceisconflicting？"theJudgesuggested。
"Watchthefield。They"llthrowtonguefastenoughifyou"rerunningawrongscent。You"veneverhadanappealfromoneofmydecisionsyet。"
TheSheikhsonhorseback——thelesserfolkoncleverdonkeys——thechildrensodespisedbyFaragsoonunderstoodthatvillageswhichrepairedtheirwaterwheelsandchannelsstoodhighestintheGovernor"sfavour。Heboughttheirbarley，forhishorses。
"Channels，"hesaid，"arenecessarythatwemayalljumpthem。
Theyarenecessary，moreover，forthecrops。Lettherebemanywheelsandsoundchannels——andmuchgoodbarley。"
"Withoutmoney，"repliedanagedSheikh，"therearenowaterwheels。"
"Iwilllendthemoney，"saidtheGovernor。
"Atwhatinterest，OOurExcellency？"
"TakeyoutwoofMayQueen"spuppiestobringupinyourvillageinsuchamannerthattheydonoteatfilth，norlosetheirhair，norcatchfeverfromlyinginthesun，butbecomewisehounds。"
"LikeRay-yal——notlikeBigglebai？"(AlreadyitwasaninsultalongtheRivertocompareamantotheshiftyanthropophagousblue-mottledharrier。)
"Certainly，likeRay-yal——notintheleastlikeBigglebai。Thatshallbetheinterestontheloan。Letthepuppiesthriveandthewaterwheelbebuilt，andIshallbecontent，"saidtheGovernor。
"Thewheelshallbebuilt，but，OOurExcellency，ifbyGod"sfavourthepupsgrowtobewell-smelters，notfilth-eaters，notunaccustomedtotheirnames，notlawless，whowilldothemandmejusticeatthetimeofjudgingtheyoungdogs？"
"Hounds，man，hounds!Ha-wands，OSheikh，wecallthemintheirmanhood。"
"Theha-wandswhentheyarejudgedattheSha-ho。IhaveunfriendsdowntherivertowhomOurExcellencyhasalsoentrustedha-wandstobringup。"
"Puppies，man!Pah-peazwecallthem，OSheikh，intheirchildhood。"
"Pah-peat。Myenemiesmayjudgemypah-peazunjustlyattheSha-ho。Thismustbethoughtof。"
"Iseetheobstacle。Hearnow!Ifthenewwaterwheelisbuiltinamonthwithoutoppression，thou，OSheikh，shaltbenamedoneofthejudgestojudgethepah-peazattheSha-ho。Isitunderstood？"
"Understood。Wewillbuildthewheel。Iandmyseedareresponsiblefortherepaymentoftheloan。Wherearemypah-peaz？
Iftheyeatfowls，musttheyonanyaccounteatthefeathers？"
"Onnoaccountmusttheyeatthefeathers。Faraginthebargewilltelltheehowtheyaretolive。"
ThereisnoinstanceofanydefaultontheGovernor"spersonalandunauthorizedloans，forwhichtheycalledhimtheFatherofWaterwheels。Butthefirstpuppyshowatthecapitalneededenormoustactandthepresenceofablackbattalionostentatiouslydrillinginthebarracksquaretopreventtroubleaftertheprize-giving。
ButwhocanchroniclethegloriesoftheGihonHunt——ortheirshames？Whoremembersthekillinthemarket-place，whentheGovernorbadetheassembledsheikhsandwarriorsobservehowthehoundswouldinstantlydevourthebodyofAbuHussein；buthow，whenhehadscientificallybrokenitup，thewearypackturnedfromitinloathing，andFaragweptbecausehesaidtheworld"sfacehadbeenblackened？Whatmenwhohavenotyetriddenbeyondthesoundofanyhornrecallthemidnightrunwhichended——Beagleboyleading——amongtombs；thehastywhip-off，andtheoath，takenAboebones，toforgettheworry？Thedesertrun，whenAbuHusseinforsookthecultivation，andmadeasix-milepointtoearthinadesolatekhor——whenstrangearmedridersoncamelsswoopedoutofaravine，andinsteadofgivingbattle，offeredtotakethetiredhoundshomeontheirbeasts。Whichtheydid，andvanished。
Aboveall，whoremembersthedeathofRoyal，whenacertainSheikhweptabovethebodyofthestainlesshoundasitmighthavebeenhisson"s——andthatdaytheHuntrodenomore？Thebadly-keptlog-booksayslittleofthis，butattheendoftheirsecondseason(forty-ninebrace)appearsthedarkentry:"Newbloodbadlywanted。Theyarebeginningtolistentobeagle-boy。"
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TheInspectorattendedtothematterwhenhisleavefelldue。
"Remember，"saidtheGovernor，"youmustgetusthebestbloodinEngland——real，daintyhounds——expensenoobject，butdon"ttrustyourownjudgment。Presentmylettersofintroduction，andtakewhattheygiveyou。
TheInspectorpresentedhislettersinasocietywheretheymakemuchofhorses，moreofhounds，andaretolerablyciviltomenwhocanride。Theypassedhimfromhousetohouse，mountedhimaccordingtohismerits，andfedhim，afterfiveyearsofgoatchopandWorcestersauce，perhapsathoughttoorichly。
Theseatorcastlewherehemadehisgreatcoupdoesnotmuchmatter。FourMastersofFoxhoundswereattable，andinamellowhourtheInspectortoldthemstoriesoftheGihonHunt。Heended:
"BensaidIwasn"ttotrustmyownjudgmentabouthounds，butI
thinkthereoughttobeaspecialtariffforEmpire-makers。"
Assoonashishostscouldspeak，theyreassuredhimonthispoint。
"Andnowtellusaboutyourfirstpuppy-showalloveragain，"
saidone。
"Andabouttheearth-stoppin"。WasthatallBen"sowninvention？"
saidanother。
"Waitamoment，"saidalarge，clean-shavenman——notanM。F。H——attheendofthetable。"AreyourvillagershabituallybeatenbyyourGovernorwhentheyfailtostopfoxes"holes？"
Thetoneandthephrasewereenoughevenif，astheInspectorconfessedafterwards，thebig，bluedouble-chinnedmanhadnotlookedsolikeBeagle-boy。HetookhimonforthehonourofEthiopia。
"Weonlyhunttwiceaweek——sometimesthreetimes。I"veneverknownamanchastisedmorethanfourtimesaweekunlessthere"sabye。"
Thelargeloose-lippedmanflunghisnapkindown，cameroundthetable，casthimselfintothechairnexttheInspector，andleanedforwardearnestly，sothathebreathedintheInspector"sface。
"Chastisedwithwhat？"hesaid。
"Withthekourbash——onthefeet。Akourbashisastripofoldhippo-hidewithasortofkeelonit，likethecuttingedgeofaboar"stusk。Butweusetheroundedsideforafirstoffender。"
"Anddoanyconsequencesfollowthissortofthing？Forthevictim，Imean——notforyou？"
Ve-ryrarely。Letmebefair。I"veneverseenamandieunderthelash，butgangrenemaysetupifthekourbashhasbeenpickled。"
"Pickledinwhat？"Allthetablewasstillandinterested。
"Incopperas，ofcourse。Didn"tyouknowthat"saidtheInspector。
"ThankGodIdidn"t。"Thelargemansputteredvisibly。
TheInspectorwipedhisfaceandgrewbolder。
"Youmustn"tthinkwe"recarelessaboutourearthstoppers。We"veaHuntfundforhottar。Tar"sasplendiddressingifthetoe-nailsaren"tbeatenoff。Buthuntin"aslargeacountryaswedo，wemayn"tbebackatthatvillageforamonth，andifthedressingsain"trenewed，andgangrenesetsin，oftenasnotyoufindyourmanpeggingaboutonhisstumps。We"veawell-knownlocalnamefor"emdowntheriver。Wecall"emtheMudir"sCranes。Yousee，IpersuadedtheGovernoronlytobastinadoononefoot。"
"Ononefoot？TheMudir"sCranes!"Thelargemanturnedpurpletothetopofhisbaldhead。"WouldyoumindgivingmethelocalwordforMudir"sCranes？"
Fromatoowell-stockedmemorytheInspectordrewoneshortadhesivewordwhichsurprisesbyitselfevenunblushingEthiopia。
Hespeltitout，sawthelargemanwriteitdownonhiscuffandwithdraw。ThentheInspectortranslatedafewofitssignificationsandimplicationstothefourMastersofFoxhounds。
HeleftthreedayslaterwitheightcoupleofthebesthoundsinEngland——afreeandafriendlyandanamplegiftfromfourpackstotheGihonHunt。Hehadhonestlymeanttoundeceivethelargebluemottledman，butsomehowforgotaboutit。
ThenewdraftmarksanewchapterintheHunt"shistory。Fromanisolatedphenomenoninabargeitbecameapermanentinstitutionwithbrick-builtkennelsashore，andaninfluencesocial，political，andadministrative，co-terminouswiththeboundariesoftheprovince。Ben，theGovernor，departedtoEngland，wherehekeptapackofrealdaintyhounds，butneverceasedtolongfortheoldlawlesslot。Hissuccessorswereex-officioMastersoftheGihonHunt，asallInspectorswereWhips。Foronereason；
Farag，thekennelhuntsman，inkhakiandputtees，wouldobeynothingundertherankofanExcellency，andthehoundswouldobeynoonebutFarag；foranother，thebestwayofestimatingcropreturnsandrevenuewasbyridingstraighttohounds；forathird，thoughJudgesdowntheriverissuedsignedandsealedland-titlestoalllawfulowners，yetpublicopinionalongtheriverneverheldanysuchtitlevalidtillithadbeenconfirmed，accordingtoprecedent，bytheGovernor"shuntingcropinthehuntingfield，abovethewilfullyneglectedearth。True，theceremonyhadbeencutdowntothreemeretapsontheshoulder，butGovernorswhotriedtoevadethatmuchfoundthemselvesandtheirofficecompassedaboutwithagreatcloudofwitnesseswhotookuptheirtimewithlawsuitsand，worsestill，neglectedthepuppies。
Theoldersheikhs，indeed，stoodoutfortheunmeasurablebeatingsoftheolddays——thesharperthepunishment，theyargued，thesurerthetitle；butherethehandofmodernprogresswasagainstthem，andtheycontentedthemselveswithtellingtalesofBenthefirstGovernor，whomtheycalledtheFatherofWaterwheels，andofthatheroicagewhenmen，horses，andhoundswereworthfollowing。
ThissameModernProgresswhichbroughtdogbiscuitandbrasswater-tapstothekennelswasatworkallovertheworld。Forces，Activities，andMovementssprangintobeing，agitatedthemselves，coalesced，and，inonepoliticalavalanche，overwhelmedabewildered，andnotintheleastintendingit，England。TheechoesoftheNewErawereborneintotheProvinceonthewingsofinexplicablecables。TheGihonHuntreadspeechesandsentiments，andpolicieswhichamazedthem，andtheythankedGod，prematurely，thattheirProvincewastoofaroff，toohot，andtoohardworkedtobereachedbythosespeakersortheirpolicies。Butthey，withothers，under-estimatedthescopeandpurposeoftheNewEra。
Onebyone，theProvincesoftheEmpirewerehauledupandbaited，hitandheld，lashedunderthebelly，andforcedbackontheirhaunchesfortheamusementoftheirnewmastersintheparishofWestminster。Onebyonetheyfellaway，soreandangry，tocomparestripeswitheachotherattheendsoftheuneasyearth。EvensotheGihonHunt，likeAbuHusseinintheolddays，didnotunderstand。ThenitreachedthemthroughthePressthattheyhabituallyfloggedtodeathgoodrevenue-payingcultivatorswhoneglectedtostopearths；butthatthefew，theveryfewwhodidnotdieunderhippohidewhipssoakedincopperas，walkedaboutontheirgangrenousankle-bones，andwereknowninderisionastheMudir"sCranes。ThechargeswerevouchedforintheHouseofCommonsbyaMr。LethabieGroombride，whohadformedaCommittee，andwasdisseminatingliterature:TheProvincegroaned；theInspector——nowanInspectorofInspectors——whistled。
Hehadforgottenthegentlemanwhosputteredinpeople"sfaces。
"Heshouldn"thavelookedsolikeBeagle-boy!"washissoledefencewhenhemettheGovernoratbreakfastonthesteamerafterameet。
"Youshouldn"thavejokedwithananimalofthatclass，"saidPetertheGovernor。"LookwhatFaraghasbroughtme!"
Itwasapamphlet，signedonbehalfofaCommitteebyaladysecretary，butcomposedbysomepersonwhothoroughlyunderstoodthelanguageoftheProvince。Aftertellingthetaleofthebeatings，itrecommendedallthebeatentoinstitutecriminalproceedingsagainsttheirGovernor，and，assoonasmightbe，toriseagainstEnglishoppressionandtyranny。SuchdocumentswerenewinEthiopiainthosedays。
TheInspectorreadthelasthalfpage。"But——but，"hestammered，"thisisimpossible。Whitemendon"twritethissortofstuff。"
"Don"tthey，just？"saidtheGovernor。"TheygetmadeCabinetMinistersfordoingittoo。Iwenthomelastyear。Iknow。"
"It"llblowover，"saidtheInspectorweakly。
"Notit。Groombrideiscomingdownheretoinvestigatethematterinafewdays。"
"Forhimself？"
"TheImperialGovernment"sbehindhim。Perhapsyou"dliketolooktmyorders。"TheGovernorlaiddownanuncodedcable。Thewhiplashtoitran:"YouwillaffordMr。Groombrideeveryfacilityforhisinquiry，andwillbeheldresponsiblethatnoobstaclesareputinhiswaytothefullestpossibleexaminationofanywitnesseswhichhemayconsidernecessary。Hewillbeaccompaniedbyhisowninterpreter，whomustnotbetamperedwith。"
"That"stome——GovernoroftheProvince!"saidPetertheGovernor。
"Itseemsaboutenough，"theInspectoranswered。
Farag，kennel-huntsman，enteredthesaloon，aswashisprivilege。
"Myuncle，whowasbeatenbytheFatherofWaterwheels，wouldapproach，OExcellency，"hesaid，"andthereareothersonthebank。"
"Admit，"saidtheGovernor。
Theretrampedaboardsheikhsandvillagerstothenumberofseventeen。Ineachman"shandwasacopyofthepamphlet；ineachman"seyeterroranduneasinessofthesortthatGovernorsspendandarespenttoclearaway。Farag"suncle，nowSheikhofthevillage，spoke:"Itiswritteninthisbook，Excellency，thatthebeatingswherebyweholdourlandsareallvalueless。ItiswrittenthateverymanwhoreceivedsuchabeatingfromtheFatherofWaterwheelswhoslowtheEmirs，shouldinstantlybeginalawsuit，becausethetitletohislandisnotvalid。"
"Itissowritten。Wedonotwishlawsuits。WewishtoholdthelandasitwasgiventousafterthedaysoftheOppression，"
theycried。
TheGovernorglancedattheInspector。Thiswasserious。Tocastdoubtontheownershipoflandmeans，inEthiopia，thelettinginofwaters，andthegettingoutoftroops。
"Yourtitlesaregood，"saidtheGovernor。TheInspectorconfirmedwithanod。
"ThenwhatisthemeaningofthesewritingswhichcamefromdowntheriverwheretheJudgesare？"Farag"sunclewavedhiscopy。
"Bywhoseorderareweorderedtoslayyou，OExcellencyOurGovernor？"
"Itisnotwrittenthatyouaretoslayme。"
"Notinthoseverywords，butifweleaveanearthunstopped，itisthesameasthoughwewishedtosaveAbuHusseinfromthehounds。Thesewritingssay:"Abolishyourrulers。"Howcanweabolishexceptwekill？Wehearrumoursofonewhocomesfromdowntheriversoontoleadustokill。"
"Fools!"saidtheGovernor。"Yourtitlesaregood。Thisismadness!"
"Itissowritten，"theyansweredlikeapack。
"Listen，"saidtheInspectorsmoothly。"Iknowwhocausedthewritingstobewrittenandsent。Heisamanofablue-mottledjowl，inaspectlikeBigglebaiwhoateuncleanmatters。Hewillcomeuptheriverandwillgivetongueaboutthebeatings。"
"Willheimpeachourland-titles？Anevildayforhim!"
"Goslow，Baker，"theGovernorwhispered。"They"llkillhimiftheygetscaredabouttheirland。"
"Itellaparable。"TheInspectorlitacigarette。"DeclarewhichofyoutooktowalkthechildrenofMilkmaid？"
"Melik-meidFirstorSecond？"saidFaragquickly。
"Thesecond——theonewhichwaslamedbythethorn。"
"No——no。Melik-meidtheSecondstrainedhershoulderleapingmywater-channel，"asheikhcried。"Melik-meidtheFirstwaslamedbythethornsonthedaywhenOurExcellencyfellthrice。"
"True——true。ThesecondMelik-meid"smatewasMalvolio，thepiedhound，"saidtheInspector。
"IhadtwoofthesecondMelik-meid"spups，"saidFarag"suncle。
"Theydiedofthemadnessintheirninthmonth。"
"Andhowdidtheydobeforetheydied？"saidtheInspector。
"Theyranaboutinthesun，andslaveredatthemouthtilltheydied。"
"Wherefore？"
"Godknows。Hesentthemadness。Itwasnofaultofmine。"
"Thyownmouthhathansweredthee。"TheInspectorlaughed。"Itiswithmenasitiswithdogs。Godafflictssomewithamadness。Itisnofaultofoursifsuchmenrunaboutinthesunandfrothatthemouth。Themanwhoiscomingwillemitsprayfromhismouthinspeaking，andwillalwaysedgeandpushintowardshishearers。WhenyeseeandhearhimyewillunderstandthatheisafflictedofGod:beingmad。HeisinGod"shands。"
"Butourtitles——areourtitlestoourlandsgood？"thecrowdrepeated。
"Yourtitlesareinmyhands——theyaregood，"saidtheGovernor。
"AndhewhowrotethewritingsisanafflictedofGod？"saidFarag"suncle。
"TheInspectorhathsaidit，"criedtheGovernor。"Yewillseewhenthemancomes。Osheikhsandmen，haveweriddentogetherandwalkedpuppiestogether，andboughtandsoldbarleyforthehorsesthataftertheseyearsweshouldrunriotonthescentofamadman——anafflictedofGod？"
"ButtheHuntpaysustokillmadjackals，"saidFarag"suncle。
"Andhewhoquestionsmytitlestomyland"
"Aahh!"Wareriot!"TheGovernor"shunting-cropcrackedlikeathree-pounder。"ByAllah，"hethundered，"iftheafflictedofGodcometoanyharmatyourhands，Imyselfwillshooteveryhoundandeverypuppy，andtheHuntshallridenomore。Onyourheadsbeit。Goinpeace，andtelltheothers。"
"TheHuntshallridenomore，"saidFarag"suncle。"Thenhowcanthelandbegoverned？No——no，OExcellencyOurGovernor，wewillnotharmahairontheheadoftheafflictedofGod。HeshallbetousasisAbuHussein"swifeinthebreedingseason。"
WhentheyweregonetheGovernormoppedhisforehead。
"WemustputafewsoldiersineveryvillagethisGroombridevisits，Baker。Tell"emtokeepoutofsight，andhaveaneyeonthevillagers。He"strying"emratherhigh。"
"OExcellency，"saidthesmoothvoiceofFarag，layingtheFieldandCountryLifesquareonthetable，"istheafflictedofGodwhoresemblesBigglebaionewiththemanwhomtheInspectormetinthegreathouseinEngland，andtowhomhetoldthetaleoftheMudir"sCranes？"
"Thesameman，Farag，"saidtheInspector。
"IhaveoftenheardtheInspectortellthetaleto，OurExcellencyatfeeding-timeinthekennels；butsinceIamintheGovernmentserviceIhavenevertoldittomypeople。MayIloosethattaleamongthevillages？"
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TheGovernornodded。"Noharm，"saidhe。
ThedetailsofMr。Groombride"sarrival，withhisinterpreter，whomheproposedshouldeatwithhimattheGovernor"stable，hisallocutiontotheGovernorontheNewMovement，andthesinsofImperialism，Ipurposelyomit。AtthreeintheafternoonMr。
Groombridesaid:"Iwillgooutnowandaddressyourvictimsinthisvillage。"
"Won"tyoufinditratherhot？"saidtheGovernor。"Theygenerallytake"anaptillsunsetatthistimeofyear。"
Mr。Groombride"slarge，looselipsset。"That，"herepliedpointedly，"wouldbeenoughtodecideme。Ifearyouhavenotquitemasteredyourinstructions。MayIaskyoutosendformyinterpreter？Ihopehehasnotbeentamperedwithbyyoursubordinates。"
HewasayellowishboycalledAbdul，whohadwelleatenanddrunkwithFarag。TheInspector，bytheway，wasnotpresentatthemeal。
"Atwhateverrisk，Ishallgounattended，"saidMr。Groombride。
"Yourpresencewouldcowthem-fromgivingevidence。Abdul，mygoodfriend，wouldyouverykindlyopentheumbrella？"
Hepassedupthegang-planktothevillage，andwithnomorepreludethanaSalvationArmypicketinaPortsmouthslum，cried:
"Oh，mybrothers!"
Hedidnotguesshowhispathhadbeenprepared。Thevillagewaswidelyawake。Farag，inloose，flowinggarments，quiteunlikeakennelhuntsman"skhakiandputtees，leanedagainstthewallofhisuncle"shouse。"ComeandseetheafflictedofGod，。"hecriedmusically，"whoseface，indeed，resemblesthatofBigglebai。"
Thevillagecame，anddecidedthatonthewholeFaragwasright。
"Ican"tquitecatchwhattheyaresaying，"saidMr。Groombride。
"Theysayingtheyverymuchpleasedtoseeyou，Sar，"Adbulinterpreted。
"ThenIdothinktheymighthavesentadeputationtothesteamer；butIsupposetheywerefrightenedoftheofficials。
Tellthemnottobefrightened，Abdul。"
"Hesaysyouarenottobefrightened，"Abdulexplained。Achildheresputteredwithlaughter。"Refrainfrommirth，"Faragcried。
"TheafflictedofGodistheguestofTheExcellencyOurGovernor。Weareresponsibleforeveryhairofhishead。"
"Hehasnone，"avoicespoke。"Hehasthewhiteandtheshiningmange。"
"NowtellthemwhatIhavecomefor，Abdul，andpleasekeeptheumbrellawellup。IthinkIshallreservemyselfformylittlevernacularspeechattheend。"
"Approach!Look!Listen!"Abdulchanted。"TheafflictedofGodwillnowmakesport。Presentlyhewillspeakinyourtongue，andwillconsumeyouwithmirth。Ihavebeenhisservantforthreeweeks。Iwilltellyouabouthisundergarmentsandhisperfumesforhishead。"
Hetoldthematlength。
"Anddidstthoutakeanyofhisperfumebottles？"saidFaragattheend。
"Iamhisservant。Itooktwo，"Abdulreplied。
"Askhim，"saidFarag"suncle，"whatheknowsaboutourland-titles。Yeyoungmenareallalike。"Hewavedapamphlet。
Mr。GroombridesmiledtoseehowtheseedsowninLondonhadbornefruitbyGihon。Lo!Alltheseniorsheldcopiesofthepamphlet。
"Heknowslessthanabuffalo。HetoldmeonthesteamerthathewasdrivenoutofhisownlandbyDemah-Keraziwhichisadevilinhabitingcrowdsandassemblies，"saidAbdul。
"Allahbetweenusandevil!"awomancackledfromthedarknessofahut。"Comein，children，hemayhavetheEvilEye。"
"No，myaunt，"saidFarag。"NoafflictedofGodhasanevileye。
Waittillyehearhismirth-provokingspeechwhichhewilldeliver。IhaveheardittwicefromAbdul。"
"Theyseemveryquicktograspthepoint。Howfarhaveyougot，Abdul？"
"Allaboutthebeatings，sar。Theyarehighlyinterested。"
"Don"tforgetaboutthelocalself-government，andpleaseholdtheumbrellaoverme。Itishopelesstodestroyunlessonefirstbuildsup。"
"HemaynothavetheEvilEye，"Farag"sunclegrunted，"buthisdevilledhimtoocertainlytoquestionmyland-title。Askhimwhetherhestilldoubtsmyland-title？"
"Ormine，ormine？"criedtheelders。
"Whatodds？HeisanafflictedofGod，"Faragcalled。"RememberthetaleItoldyou。"
"Yes，butheisanEnglishman，anddoubtlessofinfluence，orOurExcellencywouldnotentertainhim。Bidthedown-countryjackassaskhim。"
"Sar，"saidAbdul，"thesepeople，muchfearingtheymaybeturnedoutoftheirlandinconsequenceofyourremarks。Thereforetheyaskyoutomakepromisenobadconsequencesfollowingyourvisit。"
Mr。Groombrideheldhisbreathandturnedpurple。Thenhestampedhisfoot。
"Tellthem，"hecried，"thatifahairofanyoneoftheirheadsistouchedbyanyofficialonanyaccountwhatever，allEnglandshallringwithit。GoodGod!Whatcallousoppression!Thedarkplacesoftheeartharefullofcruelty。"Hewipedhisface，andthrowingouthisarmscried:"Tellthem，oh!tellthepoor，serfsnottobeafraidofme。TellthemIcometoredresstheirwrongs——not，heavenknows，toaddtotheirburden。"
Thelong-drawngurgleofthepractisedpublicspeakerpleasedthemmuch。
"Thatishowthenewwater-taprunsoutinthekennel，"saidFarag。"TheExcellencyOurGovernorentertainshimthathemaymakesport。Makehimsaythemirth-movingspeech。"
"Whatdidhesayaboutmyland-titles？"Farag"sunclewasnottobeturned。
"Hesays，"Faraginterpreted，"thathedesires，nothingbetterthanthatyoushouldliveonyourlandsinpeace。HetalksasthoughhebelievedhimselftobeGovernor。"
"Well。Wehereareallwitnessestowhathehassaid。Nowgoforwardwiththesport。"Farag"sunclesmoothedhisgarments。
"HowdiverselyhathAllahmadeHiscreatures!OnoneHebestowsstrengthtoslayEmirs；anotherHecausestogomadandwanderinthesun，liketheafflictedsonsofMelik-meid。"
"Yes，andtoemitsprayfromthemouth，astheInspectortoldus。
AllwillhappenastheInspectorforetold，"saidFarag。"IhaveneveryetseentheInspectorthrownoutduringanyrun。"
"Ithink，"AbdulpluckedatMr。Groombride"ssleeves，"Ithinkperhapsitisbetternow，Sar，ifyougiveyourfinelittlenativespeech。TheynotunderstandingEnglish，butmuchpleasedatyourcondescensions。"
"Condescensions？"Mr。Groombridespunround。"IftheyonlyknewhowIfelttowardstheminmyheart!IfIcouldexpressatitheofmyfeelings!Imuststayhereandlearnthelanguage。Holduptheumbrella，AbdullIthinkmylittlespeechwillshowthemI
knowsomethingoftheirvieintime。"
Itwasashort，simple；carefullylearnedaddress，andtheaccent，supervisedbyAbdulonthesteamer，allowedthehearerstoguessitsmeaning，whichwasarequesttoseeoneoftheMudir"sCranes；sincethedesireofthespeaker"slife，theobjecttowhichhewouldconsecratehisdays，wastoimprovetheconditionoftheMudir"sCranes。Butfirsthemustbeholdthemwithhisowneyes。Would，then，hisbrethren，whomheloved，showhimaMudir"sCranewhomhedesiredtolove？
Once，twice，andagaininhisperorationherepeatedhisdemand，usingalways——thattheymightseehewasacquaintedwiththeirlocalargot——usingalways，Isay，thewordwhichtheInspectorhadgivenhiminEnglandlongago——theshort，adhesivewordwhich，byitself，surprisesevenunblushingEthiopia。
Therearelimitstothesublimepolitenessofanancientpeople。
Abulky，blue-chinnedmaninwhiteclothes，hisnamered-letteredacrosshislowershirtfront，splutteringfromunderagreen-linedumbrellaalmosttearfulappealstobeintroducedtotheUnintroducible；namingloudlytheUnnameable；dancing，asitseemed，inperversejoyatmerementionoftheUnmentionable——foundthoselimits。Therewasamoment"shush，andthensuchmirthasGihonthroughhiscenturieshadneverheard——aroarliketotheroarofhisowncataractsinflood。Childrencastthemselvesontheground，androlledbackandforthcheeringandwhooping；strongmen，theirfaceshiddenintheirclothes，swayedinsilence，tilltheagonybecameinsupportable，andtheythrewuptheirheadsandbayedatthesun；women，mothersandvirgins，shrilledshriekuponmountingshriek，andslappedtheirthighsasitmighthavebeentherollofmusketry。Whentheytriedtodrawbreath，somehalf-strangledvoicewouldquackouttheword，andtheriotbeganafresh。Lasttofallwasthecity-trainedAbdul。Heheldontotheedgeofapoplexy，thencollapsed，throwingtheumbrellafromhim。
Mr。Groombrideshouldnotbejudgedtooharshly。Exerciseandstrongemotionunderahotsun，theshockofpublicingratitude，forthemomentruedhisspirit。Hefurledtheumbrella，andwithtbeattheprostrateAbdul，cryingthathehadbeenbetrayed。InwhichposturetheInspector，onhorseback，followedbytheGovernor，suddenlyfoundhim。
*****
"That"sallverywell，"saidtheInspector，whenhehadtakenAbdul"sdramaticallydyingdepositionsonthesteamer，"butyoucan"thammeranativemerelybecausehelaughsatyou。Iseenothingforitbutthelawtotakeitscourse。"
"Youmightreducethechargeto——er——tamperingwithaninterpreter，"saidtheGovernor。Mr。Groombridewastoofargonetobecomforted。
"It"sthepublicitythatIfear，"hewailed。"Istherenopossiblemeansofhushinguptheaffair？Youdon"tknowwhataquestion——asinglequestionintheHousemeanstoamanofmyposition——theruinofmypoliticalcareer，Iassureyou。"
"Ishouldn"thaveimaginedit，"saidtheGovernorthoughtfully。
"And，thoughperhapsIoughtnottosayit，Iamnotwithouthonourinmyowncountry——orinfluence。Awordinseason，asyouknow，YourExcellency。Itmightcarryanofficialfar。"
TheGovernorshuddered。
"Yes，thathadtocometoo，"hesaidtohimself。"Well，lookhere。IfItellthismanofyourstowithdrawthechargeagainstyou，youcangotoGehennaforaughtIcare。TheonlyconditionI
makeisthatifyouwrite——Isupposethat"spartofyourbusinessaboutyourtravels，youdon"tpraiseme!"
SofarMr。Groombridehasloyallyadheredtothisunderstanding。
GALLIO"SSONG
Alldaylongtothejudgment-seatThecrazedProvincialsdrew——
Alldaylongattheirruler"sfeetHowledforthebloodoftheJew。
InsurrectionwithoneaccordBandeditselfandwoke:
AndPaulwasabouttoopenhismouthWhenAchaia"sDeputyspoke"WhethertheGoddescendfromaboveOrthemanascenduponhigh，WhetherthismakeroftentsbeJoveOrayoungerdeity——
IwillbenojudgebetweenyourgodsAndyourgodlessbickerings，Lictor，drivethemhencewithrods——
Icarefornoneofthesethings!
"WereitaquestionoflawfuldueOralabourer"shiredenied，ReasonwouldIshouldbearwithyouAndorderitwelltobetriedButthisisaquestionofwordsandnamesAndIknowthestrifeitbrings，Iwillnotpassuponanyyourclaims。
Icarefornoneofthesethings。
"OnethingonlyIseemostclear，AsIprayyoualsosee。
ClaudiusCaesarhathsetmehereRome"sDeputytobe。
ItisHerpeacethatyegotobreakNotmine，noranyking"s，But，touchingyourclamourof"consciencesake，"
Icarefornoneofthesethings!"
THEHOUSESURGEON
OnaneveningafterEasterDay，Isatatatableinahomewardboundsteamer"ssmoking-room，wherehalfadozenofustoldghoststories。Asourpartybrokeupaman，playingPatienceinthenextalcove，saidtome:"Ididn"tquitecatchtheendofthatlaststoryabouttheCurseonthefamily"sfirst-born。"
"Itturnedouttobedrains，"Iexplained。"AssoonasnewoneswereputintothehousetheCursewaslifted，Ibelieve。Ineverknewthepeoplemyself。"
"Ah!I"vehadmydrainsuptwice；I"mongraveltoo。"
"Youdon"tmeantosayyou"veaghostinyourhouse？Whydidn"tyoujoinourparty？"
"Anymoreorders，gentlemen，beforethebarcloses？"thestewardinterrupted。
"Sitdownagain，andhaveonewithme，"saidthePatienceplayer。
"No，itisn"taghost。Ourtroubleismoredepressionthananythingelse。"
"Howinteresting？Thenit"snothinganyonecansee？"
"It"s——it"snothingworsethanalittledepression。Andtheoddpartisthattherehasn"tbeenadeathinthehousesinceitwasbuilt——in1863。Thelawyersaidso。Thatdecidedme——mygoodlady，ratherandhemademepayanextrathousandforit。"
"Howcurious。Unusual，too!"Isaid。
"Yes；ain"tit？Itwasbuiltforthreesisters——Moultriewasthename——threeoldmaids。Theyalllivedtogether；theeldestownedit。Iboughtitfromherlawyerafewyearsago，andifI"vespentapoundontheplacefirstandlast，Imusthavespentfivethousand。Electriclight，newservants"wing，garden——allthatsortofthing。Amanandhisfamilyoughttobehappyaftersomuchexpense，ain"tit？"Helookedatmethroughthebottomofhisglass。
"Doesitaffectyourfamilymuch？"
"Mygoodlady——she"saGreek，bytheway——andmyselfaremiddle-aged。Wecanbearupagainstdepression；butit"shardonmylittlegirl。Isaylittle；butshe"stwenty。Wesendhervisitingtoescapeit。Shealmostlivedathotelsandhydros，lastyear，butthatisn"tpleasantforher。Sheusedtobeacanary——aperfectcanary——alwayssinging。Yououghttohearher。
Shedoesn"tsingnow。Thatsortofthing"sunwholesomefortheyoung，ain"tit？"
"Can"tyougetridoftheplace？"Isuggested。
"Notexceptatasacrifice，andwearefondofit。Justsuitsusthree。We"dloveitifwewereallowed。"
"Whatdoyoumeanbynotbeingallowed？"
"Imeanbecauseofthedepression。Itspoilseverything。"
"What"sitlikeexactly？"
"Icouldn"tverywellexplain。Itmustbeseentobeappreciated，astheauctioneerssay。Now，Iwasmuchimpressedbythestoryyouweretellingjustnow。"
"Itwasn"ttrue，"Isaid。
"Mytaleistrue。Ifyouwoulddomethepleasuretocomedownandspendanightatmylittleplace，you"dlearnmorethanyouwouldifItalkedtillmorning。Verylikely"twouldn"ttouchyourgoodselfatall。Youmightbe——immune，ain"tit？Ontheotherhand，ifthisinfluenza，——influencedoeshappentoaffectyou，why，Ithinkitwillbeanexperience。"
Whilehetalkedhegavemehiscard，andIreadhisnamewasL。
MaxwellM"Leod，Esq。，ofHolmescroft。ACityaddresswastuckedawayinacorner。
"Mybusiness，"headded，"usedtobefurs。Ifyouareinterestedinfurs——I"vegiventhirtyyearsofmylifeto"em。"
"You"reverykind，"Imurmured。
"Farfromit，Iassureyou。IcanmeetyounextSaturdayafternoonanywhereinLondonyouchoosetoname，andI"llbeonlytoohappytomotoryoudown。Itoughttobeadelightfulrunatthistimeofyeartherhododendronswillbeout。Imeanit。Youdon"tknowhowtrulyImeanit。Veryprobably——itwon"taffectyouatall。And——IthinkImaysayIhavethefinestcollectionofnarwhaltusksintheworld。AllthebestskinsandhornshavetogothroughLondon，andL。MaxwellM"Leod，heknowswheretheycomefrom，andwheretheygoto。That"shisbusiness。"
Fortherestofthevoyageup-channelMr。M"Leodtalkedtomeoftheassembling，preparation，andsaleoftherarerfurs；andtoldmethingsaboutthemanufactureoffur-linedcoatswhichquiteshockedme。Somehoworother，whenwelandedonWednesday，I
foundmyselfpledgedtospendthatweek-endwithhimatHolmescroft。
OnSaturdayhemetmewithawell-groomedmotor，andranmeout，inanhourandahalf，toanexclusiveresidentialdistrictofdustlessroadsandelegantlydesignedcountryvillas，eachstandinginfromthreetofiveacresofperfectlyappointedland。
Hetoldmelandwassellingateighthundredpoundstheacre，andthenewgolflinks，whoseQueenAnnepavilionwepassed，hadcostnearlytwenty-fourthousandpoundstocreate。
Holmescroftwasalarge，two-storied，low，creeper-coveredresidence。Averandahatthesouthsidegaveontoagardenandtwotenniscourts，separatedbyatastefulironfencefromamostpark-likemeadowoffiveorsixacres，wheretwoJerseycowsgrazed。Teawasreadyintheshadeofapromisingcopperbeech，andIcouldseegroupsonthelawnofyoungmenandmaidensappropriatelyclothed，playinglawntennisinthesunshine。
"Aprettyscene，ain"tit？"saidMr。M"Leod。"Mygoodlady"ssittingunderthetree，andthat"smylittlegirlinpinkonthefarcourt。ButI"lltakeyoutoyourroom，andyoucansee"emalllater。"
Heledmethroughawideparquet-flooredhallfurnishedinpalelemon，withhugeCloisonneevases，anebonizedandgoldgrandpiano，andbanksofpotflowersinBenaresbrassbowls，upapaleoakstaircasetoaspaciouslanding，wheretherewasagreenvelvetsetteetrimmedwithsilver。Theblindsweredown，andthelightlayinparallellinesonthefloors。
Heshowedmemyroom，sayingcheerfully:"Youmaybealittletired。Oneofteniswithoutknowingitafterarunthroughtraffic。Don"tcomedowntillyoufeelquiterestored。Weshallallbeinthegarden。"
Myroomwasratherwarm，andsmeltofperfumedsoap。Ithrewupthewindowatonce，butitopenedsoclosetothefloorandworkedsoclumsilythatIcamewithinanaceofpitchingout，whereIshouldcertainlyhaveruinedaratherlop-sidedlaburnumbelow。AsIsetaboutwashingoffthejourney"sdust，Ibegantofeelalittletired。But，Ireflected，Ihadnotcomedownhereinthisweatherandamongthesenewsurroundingstobedepressed；
soIbegantowhistle。
AnditwasjustthenthatIwasawareofalittlegreyshadow，asitmighthavebeenasnowflakeseenagainstthelight，floatingatanimmensedistanceinthebackgroundofmybrain。Itannoyedme，andIshookmyheadtogetridofit。Thenmybraintelegraphedthatitwastheforerunnerofaswift-stridinggloomwhichtherewasyettimetoescapeifIwouldforcemythoughtsawayfromit，asamanleapingforlifeforceshisbodyforwardandawayfromthefallofawall。ButthegloomovertookmebeforeIcouldtakeinthemeaningofthemessage。Imovedtowardthebed，everynervealreadyachingwiththeforeknowledgeofthepainthatwastobedealtit，andsatdown，whilemyamazedandangrysouldropped，gulfbygulf，intothathorrorofgreatdarknesswhichisspokenofintheBible，andwhich，asauctioneerssay，mustbeexperiencedtobeappreciated。
Despairupondespair，miseryuponmisery，fearafterfear，eachcausingtheirdistinctandseparatewoe，packedinuponmeforanunrecordedlengthoftime，untilatlasttheyblurredtogether，andIheardaclickinmybrainliketheclickintheearwhenonedescendsinadivingbell，andIknewthatthepressureswereequalisedwithinandwithout，andthat，forthemoment，theworstwasatanend。ButIknewalsothatatanymomentthedarknessmightcomedownanew；andwhile，Idweltonthisspeculationpreciselyasamantormentsaragingtoothwithhistongue，itebbedawayintothelittlegreyshadowonthebrainofitsfirstcoming，andoncemoreIheardmybrain，whichknewwhatwouldrecur，telegraphtoeveryquarterfoxhelp，releaseordiversion。
Thedooropened，andM"Leodreappeared。Ithankedhimpolitely，sayingIwascharmedwithmyroom，anxioustomeetMrs。M"Leod，muchrefreshedwithmywash，andsoonandsoforth。Beyondalittlestickinessatthecornersofmymouth，itseemedtomethatIwasmanagingmywordsadmirably；thewhilethatImyselfcoweredatthebottomofunclimbablepits。M"Leodlaidhishandonmyshoulder，andsaid"You"vegotitnowalready，ain"tit？"
"Yes，"Ianswered。"It"smakingmesick!"
"Itwillpassoffwhenyoucomeoutside。Igiveyoumyworditwillthenpassoff。Come!"
Ishambledoutbehindhim，andwipedmyforeheadinthehall。
"Youmusn"tmind，"hesaid。"Iexpecttheruntiredyou。Mygoodladyissittingthereunderthecopperbeech。"
Shewasafatwomaninanapricot-colouredgown，withaheavilypowderedface，againstwhichherblacklong-lashedeyesshowedlikecurrantsindough。Iwasintroducedtomanyfineladiesandgentlemenofthoseparts。Magnificentlyappointedlandausandcoveredmotorssweptinandoutofthedrive，andtheairwasgaywiththemerryoutcriesofthetennisplayers。
Astwilightdrewontheyallwentaway，andIwasleftalonewithMr。andMrs。M"Leod，whiletallmenservantsandmaidservantstookawaythetennisandteathings。MissM"Leodhadwalkedalittledownthedrivewithalight-hairedyoungman，whoapparentlykneweverythingabouteverySouthAmericanrailwaystock。Hehadtoldmeatteathatthesewerethedaysoffinancialspecialisation。
"Ithinkitwentoffbeautifully，mydear，"saidMr。M"Leodtohiswife；andtome:"Youfeelallrightnow，ain"tit？Ofcourseyoudo。"
Mrs。M"Leodsurgedacrossthegravel。Herhusbandskippednimblybeforeherintothesouthverandah，turnedaswitch，andallHolmescroftwasfloodedwithlight。
"Youcandothatfromyourroomalso，"hesaidastheywentin。
"Thereissomethinginmoney，ain"tit？"
MissM"Leodcameupbehindmeinthedusk。"Wehavenotyetbeenintroduced，"shesaid，"butIsupposeyouarestayingthenight？"
"Yourfatherwaskindenoughtoaskme，"Ireplied。
Shenodded。"Yes，Iknow；andyouknowtoo，don"tyou？Isawyourfacewhenyoucametoshakehandswithmamma。Youfeltthedepressionverysoon。Itissimplyfrightfulinthatbedroomsometimes。Whatdoyouthinkitis——bewitchment？InGreece，whereIwasalittlegirl，itmighthavebeen；butnotinEngland，doyouthink？Ordoyou？"
"Cheerup，Thea。Itwillallcomeright，"heinsisted。
"No，papa。"Sheshookherdarkhead。"Nothingisrightwhileitcomes。"
"ItisnothingthatweourselveshaveeverdoneinourlivesthatIwillsweartoyou，"saidMrs。M"Leodsuddenly。"Andwehavechangedourservantsseveraltimes。Soweknowitisnotthem。"
"Nevermind。Letusenjoyourselveswhilewecan，"saidMr。
M"Leod，openingthechampagne。
Butwedidnotenjoyourselves。Thetalkfailed。Therewerelongsilences。
"Ibegyourpardon，"Isaid，forIthoughtsomeoneatmyelbowwasabouttospeak。
"Ah!Thatistheotherthing!"saidMissM"Leod。Hermothergroaned。
Weweresilentagain，and，inafewsecondsitmusthavebeen，alivegriefbeyondwords——notghostlydreadorhorror，butaching，helplessgrief——overwhelmedus，each，Ifelt，accordingtohisorhernature，andheldsteadylikethebeamofaburningglass。
BehindthatpainIwasconscioustherewasadesireonsomebody"sparttoexplainsomethingonwhichsometremendouslyimportantissuehung。
MeantimeIrolledbreadpillsandrememberedmysins；M"Leodconsideredhisownreflectioninaspoon；hiswifeseemedtobepraying，andthegirlfidgetteddesperatelywithhandsandfeet，tillthedarknesspassedon——asthoughthemalignantraysofaburning-glasshadbeenshiftedfromus。"
"There，"saidMissM"Leod，halfrising。"Nowyouseewhatmakesahappyhome。Oh，sellit——sellit，fathermine，andletusgoaway!"
"ButI"vespentthousandsonit。YoushallgotoHarrogatenextweek，Theadear。"
"I"monlyjustbackfromhotels。Iamsotiredofpacking。"
"Cheerup，Thea。Itisover。Youknowitdoesnotoftencomeheretwiceinthesamenight。Ithinkweshalldarenowtobecomfortable。"
Heliftedadish-cover，andhelpedhiswifeanddaughter。Hisfacewaslinedandfallenlikeanoldman"safterdebauch，buthishanddidnotshake，andhisvoicewasclear。Asheworkedtorestoreusbyspeechandaction，heremindedmeofagrey-muzzledcollieherdingdemoralisedsheep。
Afterdinnerwesatroundthedining-roomfirethedrawing-roommighthavebeenundertheShadowforaughtweknewtalkingwiththeintimacyofgipsiesbythewayside，orofwoundedcomparingnotesafteraskirmish。Byeleveno"clockthethreebetweenthemhadgivenmeeverynameanddetailtheycouldrecallthatinanywayboreonthehouse，andwhattheyknewofitshistory。
Wewenttobedinafortifyingblazeofelectriclight。Myonefearwasthattheblastinggustofdepressionwouldreturn——thesurestway，ofcourse，tobringit。Ilayawaketilldawn，breathingquicklyandsweatinglightly，beneathwhatDeQuinceyinadequatelydescribesas"theoppressionofinexpiableguilt。"
Nowassoonasthelovelydaywasbroken，Ifellintothemostterribleofalldreams——thatjoyousoneinwhichallpastevilhasnotonlybeenwipedoutofourlives，buthasneverbeencommitted；andintheveryblissofourassuredinnocence，beforeourlovesshriekandchangecountenance，wewaketothedaywehaveearned。
Itwasacoolishmorning，butwepreferredtobreakfastinthesouthverandah。Theforenoonwespentinthegarden，pretendingtoplaygamesthatcomeoutofboxes，suchascroquetandclockgolf。Butmostofthetimewedrewtogetherandtalked。TheyoungmanwhoknewallaboutSouthAmericanrailwaystookMissM"Leodforawalkintheafternoon，andatfiveM"Leodthoughtfullywhirledusalluptodineintown。
"Now，don"tsayyouwilltellthePsychologicalSociety，andthatyouwillcomeagain，"saidMissM"Leod，asweparted。"BecauseI
knowyouwillnot。"
"Youshouldnotsaythat，"saidhermother。"Youshouldsay，"Goodbye，Mr。Perseus。Comeagain。""
"Nothim!"thegirlcried。"HehasseentheMedusa"shead!"
Lookingatmyselfintherestaurant"smirrors，itseemedtomethatIhadnotmuchbenefitedbymyweek-end。NextmorningI
wroteoutallmyHolmescroftnotesatfullestlength，inthehopethatbysodoingIcouldputitallbehindme。Buttheexperienceworkedonmymind，astheysaycertainimperfectlyunderstoodraysworkonthebody。
IamlesscalculatedtomakeaSherlockHolmesthananymanI
know，forIlackbothmethodandpatience，yettheideaoffollowingupthetroubletoitssourcefascinatedme。Ihadnotheorytogoon，exceptavagueideathatIhadcomebetweentwopolesofadischarge，andhadtakenashockmeantforsomeoneelse。Thiswasfollowedbyafeelingofintenseirritation。I
waitedcautiouslyonmyself，expectingtobeovertakenbyhorrorofthesupernatural，butmyselfpersistedinbeinghumanlyindignant，exactlyasthoughithadbeenthevictimofapracticaljoke。Itwasingreatpainsandupheavals——thatIfeltineveryfibrebutitsdominantidea，toputitcoarsely，wastogetbackabitofitsown。BythisIknewthatImightgoforwardifIcouldfindtheway。
AfterafewdaysitoccurredtometogototheofficeofMr。
J。M。M。Baxter——thesolicitorwhohadsoldHolmescrofttoM"Leod。
IexplainedIhadsomenotionofbuyingtheplace。Wouldheactformeinthematter？
Mr。Baxter，alarge，greyish，throaty-voicedman，showednoenthusiasm。"IsoldittoMr。M"Leod，"hesaid。"It"udscarcelydoformetostartontherunning-downtacknow。ButIcanrecommend——"
"Iknowhe"saskinganawfulprice，"Iinterrupted，"andatopofithewantsanextrathousandforwhathecallsyourcleanbillofhealth。"
Mr。Baxtersatupinhischair。Ihadallhisattention。
"Yourguaranteewiththehouse。Don"tyourememberit？"
"Yes，yes。Thatnodeathhadtakenplaceinthehousesinceitwasbuilt:Irememberperfectly。"
Hedidnotgulpasuntrainedmendowhentheylie，buthisjawsmovedstickily，andhiseyes，turningtowardsthedeedboxesonthewall，dulled。Icountedseconds，one，two，three——one，two，threeuptoten。Aman，Iknew，canlivethroughagesofmentaldepressioninthattime。
"Irememberperfectly。"Hismouthopenedalittleasthoughithadtastedoldbitterness。
"Ofcoursethatsortofthingdoesn"tappealtome。"Iwenton。
"Idon"texpecttobuyahousefreefromdeath。"
"Certainlynot。Noonedoes。ButitwasMr。M"Leod"sfancy——hiswife"srather，Ibelieve；andsincewecouldmeetit——itwasmydutytomyclientsatwhatevercosttomyownfeelings——tomakehimpay。"
"That"sreallywhyIcametoyou。Iunderstoodfromhimyouknewtheplacewell。"
"Oh，yes。Alwaysdid。Itoriginallybelongedtosomeconnectionsofmine。"
"TheMissesMoultrie，Isuppose。Howinteresting!Theymusthavelovedtheplacebeforethecountryroundaboutwasbuiltup。"
"Theywereveryfondofitindeed。"
"Idon"twonder。Sorestfulandsunny。Idon"tseehowtheycouldhavebroughtthemselvestopartwithit。"
NowitisoneofthemostconstantpeculiaritiesoftheEnglishthatinpoliteconversation——andIhadstriventobepolite——nooneeverdoesorsellsanythingformeremoney"ssake。
"MissAgnes——theyoungest——fellill"(hespacedhiswordsalittle)，"and，astheywereverymuchattachedtoeachother，thatbrokeupthehome。"
"Naturally。Ifancieditmusthavebeensomethingofthatkind。
Onedoesn"tassociatetheStaffordshireMoultries"(myDemonofIrresponsibilityatthatinstantcreated"em)，"with——withbeinghardup。"
"Idon"tknowwhetherwe"rerelatedtothem，"heansweredimportantly。"Wemaybe，forourbranchofthefamilycomesfromtheMidlands。"
Igivethistalkatlength，becauseIamsoproudofmyfirstattemptatdetectivework。WhenIlefthim，twentyminuteslater，withinstructionstomoveagainsttheownerofHolmescroft，withaviewtopurchase，IwasmorebewilderedthananyDoctorWatsonattheopeningofastory。
Whyshouldamiddle-agedsolicitorturnplovers"eggcolouranddrophisjawwhenremindedofsoinnocentandfestalamatterasthatnodeathhadeveroccurredinahousethathehadsold？IfI
knewmyEnglishvocabularyatall，thetoneinwhichhesaidtheyoungestsister"fellill"meantthatshehadgoneoutofhermind。Thatmightexplainhischangeofcountenance，anditwasjustpossiblethatherdementedinfluencestillhungaboutHolmescroft；buttherestwasbeyondme。
IwasrelievedwhenIreachedM"Leod"sCityoffice，andcouldtellhimwhatIhaddone——notwhatIthought。
M"Leodwasquitewillingtoenterintothegameofthepretendedpurchase，butdidnotseehowitwouldhelpifIknewBaxter。