第6章
Hecamehomewithhisnotes，andfoundRosabeaminginacrisppeignoir，andherlovelyheaditsnaturalsizeandshape，high-bredandelegant。Hesatdown，andwithherhandinhisproceededtodescribethehousestoher，whenawaiterthrewopenthedoor——
"Mrs。JohnCole。"
"Florence!"criedRosa，startingup。
InflowedFlorence:theybothutteredalittlesquawkofdelight，andwentateachotherliketwolittletigresses，andkissedinswiftalternationwithasingularardor，drawingtheircrestsbacklikesnakes，andthendartingthemforwardandinflictingwhat，tothemalephilosopherlookingon，seemedhardkisses，violentkisses，ratherthanthetenderonestobeexpectedfromtwotendercreaturesembracingeachother。
"Darling，"saidRosa，"Iknewyouwouldbethefirst。Didn"tI
tellyouso，Christopher?——Myhusband——mydarlingFlorry!Sitdown，love，andtellmeeverything；hehasjustbeenlookingoutforahouse。Ah!youhavegotallthatoverlongago:shehasbeenmarriedsixmonths。Florry，youarehandsomerthanever；andwhatabeautifuldress!Ah!Londonistheplace。RealBrussels，I
declare，"andshetookholdofherfriend"slaceandgloatedonit。
Christophersmiledgood-naturedly，andsaid，"Idaresayyouladieshaveagooddealtosaytoeachother。"
"Oceans，"saidRosa。
"Iwillgoandhunthousesagain。"
"There"sagoodhusband，"saidMrs。Cole，assoonasthedoorclosedonhim，"andsuchafineman!Why，hemustbesixfeet。
Mineisrathershort。Butheisverygood；refusesmenothing。Mywillislaw。"
"Thatisallright——youaresosensible；butIwantgoverningalittle，andIlikeit——actually。Didthedressmakerfindit，dear?"
"Oh，no!Ihaditbyme。IboughtitatBrusselsonourweddingtour:itisdearertherethaninLondon。"
Shesaidthisasif"dearer"and"better"weresynonymous。
"Butaboutyourhouse，Rosiedear?"
"Yes，darling，I"lltellyouallaboutit。Ineversawamoirethisshadebefore。Idon"tcareforthemingeneral；butthisissodistingue。"
Florencerewardedherwithakiss。
"Thehouse，"saidRosa。"Oh，hehasseenoneinPortmanStreet，andoneinGloucesterPlace。"
"Oh，thatwillneverdo，"criedMrs。Cole。"Itisnousebeingaphysicianinthoseout-of-the-wayplaces。HemustbeinMayfair。"
"Musthe?"
"Ofcourse。Besides，thenmyJohnniecancallhiminwhentheyarejustgoingtodie。Johnnieisageneralprac。，andmakestwothousandayear；andheshallcallyouronein；buthemustliveinMayfair。Why，Rosie，youwouldnotbesuchagooseastoliveinthoseplaces——theyarequitegoneby。"
"Ishalldowhateveryouadviseme，dear。Oh，whatacomforttohaveadearfriend:andsixmonthsmarried，andknowsthings。Howrichlyitistrimmed!Why，itisnearlyalltrimmings。"
"Thatisthefashion。"
"Oh!"
Andafterthatbigwordtherewasnomoretobesaid。
Thesetwoladiesintheirconversationgravitatedtowardsdress，andfellflatoniteveryhalf-minute。Thatgreatandelevatingtopicheldthembyasilkencord，butitallowedthemtoflutterupwardsintoothertopics；andinthoseintervals，numerousthoughbrief，theladywhohadbeenmarriedsixmonthsfoundtimetoinstructthematrimonialnovicewithgreatauthority，andevenashadeofpomposity。"Mydear，thewayladiesandgentlemengetahouse——inthefirstplace，youdon"tgoaboutyourselflikethat，andyounevergotothepeoplethemselves，oryouaresuretobetakenin，buttoarespectablehouse-agent。"
"Yes，dear，thatmustbethebestway，onewouldthink。"
"Ofcourseitis；andyouaskforahouseinMayfair，andheshowsyouseveral，andrecommendsyouthebest，andseesyouarenotcheated。"
"Thankyou，love，"saidRosa；"nowIknowwhattodo；I"llnotforgetaword。Andthetrainsobeautifullyshaped!Ah!itisonlyinLondonorParistheycanmakeadressflowbehindlikethat，"etc。，etc。
Dr。Stainescamebacktodinneringoodspirits；hehadfoundahouseinHarewoodSquare；goodentrancehall，wherehisgratuitouspatientsmightsitonbenches；gooddining-roomwherehissuperiorpatientsmightwait；andgoodlibrary，tobeusedasaconsulting-
room。Rentonlyeighty-fivepoundsperannum。
ButRosatoldhimthatwouldneverdo；aphysicianmustbeinthefashionablepartofthetown。
"Eventually，"saidChristopher；"butsurelyatfirststarting——andyouknowtheysaylittleboatsshouldnotgotoofarfromshore。"
ThenRosarepeatedallherfriend"sarguments，andseemedsounhappyattheideaofnotlivingnearher，thatStaines，whohadnotyetsaidthehardword"no"toher，gavein；consolinghisprudencewiththereflectionthat，afterall，Mr。Colecouldputmanyaguineainhisway，forMr。Colewasmiddle-aged，——thoughhiswifewasyoung，——andhadreallyaverylargepractice。
Sonextday，thenewly-weddedpaircalledonahouse-agentinMayfair，andhissonandpartnerwentwiththemtoseveralplaces。
TherentsofhousesequaltothatinHarewoodSquarewerethreehundredpoundsayearatleast，andapremiumtoboot。
Christophertoldhimthesewerequitebeyondthemark。"Verywell，"saidtheagent。"ThenI"llshowyouaBijou。"
Rosaclappedherhands。"Thatisthethingforus。Wedon"twantalargehouse，onlyabeautifulone，andinMayfair。"
"ThentheBijouwillbesuretosuityou。"
HetookthemtotheBijou。
TheBijouhadasmalldining-roomwithoneverylargewindowintwosheetsofplateglass，andaprojectingbalconyfullofflowers；astillsmallerlibrary，whichopenedonasquareyardenclosed。
Herewereagreatmanypots，withflowersdeadordyingfromneglect。Onthefirstfloorafair-sizeddrawing-room，andatinyoneattheback:onthesecondfloor，onegoodbedroom，andadressing-room，orlittlebedroom:threegarretsabove。
Rosawasinecstasies。"Itisanest，"saidshe。
"Itisabank-note，"saidtheagent，stimulatingequalenthusiasm，afterhisfashion。"Youcanalwaysselltheleaseagainformoremoney。"
Christopherkeptcool。"Idon"twantahousetosell，buttolivein，anddomybusiness；Iamaphysician:nowthedrawing-roomisbuiltovertheentrancetoamews；thebackroomsalllookintoamews:weshallhavetheeternalnoiseandsmellofamews。Mywife"srestwillbebrokenbythecarriagesrollinginandout。
Thehallisfearfullysmallandstuffy。Therentisabominablyhigh；andwhatisthepremiumfor，Iwonder?"
"AlwaysapremiuminMayfair，sir。Aleaseispropertyhere:thegentlemanisnotacquaintedwiththispart，madam。"
"Oh，yes，heis，"saidRosa，asboldlyasasixyears"wife:"heknowseverything。"
"ThenheknowsthatahouseofthiskindatahundredandthirtypoundsayearinMayfairisabank-note。"
StainesturnedtoRosa。"Thepoorpatients，whereamItoreceivethem?"
"Inthestable，"suggestedthehouseagent。
"Oh!"saidRosa，shocked。
"Well，then，thecoach-house。Why，there"splentyofroomforabrougham，andonehorse，andfiftypoorpatientsatatime:beggarsmusn"tbechoosers；ifyougivethemphysicgratis，thatisenough:
youain"tboundtofind"emapalacetositdownin，andhotcoffeeandrumpsteaksallround，doctor。"
ThistickledRosasothatsheburstoutlaughing，andthenceforwardgiggledatintervals，witofthisrefinednaturehavingallthecharmofnoveltyforher。
Theyinspectedthestables，whichwereindeedtheoneredeemingfeatureinthehorridlittleBijou；andthentheagentwouldshowthemthekitchen，andthenewstove。HeexpatiatedonthistoMrs。
Staines。"Cookadinnerforthirtypeople，madam。"
"Andthere"sroomforthemtoeatit——intheroad，"saidStaines。
Theagentremindedhimtherewerelargerplacestobehad，byaverysimpleprocess，viz。，payingforthem。
Stainesthoughtofthelarge，comfortablehouseinHarewoodSquare。
"Onehundredandthirtypoundsayearforthispokylittlehole?"
hegroaned。
"Why，itisnothingatallforaBijou。"
"Butitistoomuchforabandbox。"
Rosalaidherhandonhisarm，withanimploringglance。
"Well，"saidhe，"I"llsubmittotherent，butIreallycannotgivethepremium，itistooridiculous。Heoughttobribemetorentit，notIhim。"
"Can"tbedonewithout，sir。"
"Well，I"llgiveahundredpoundsandnomore。"
"Impossible，sir。"
"Thengoodmorning。Now，dearest，justcomeandseethehouseatHarewoodSquare，——eighty-fivepoundsandnopremium。"
"Willyouobligemewithyouraddress，doctor?"saidtheagent。
"Dr。Staines，Morley"sHotel。"
AndsotheyleftMayfair。
Rosasighedandsaid，"Oh，thenicelittleplace；andwehavelostitfortwohundredpounds。"
"Twohundredpoundsisagreatdealforustothrowaway。"
"BeingneartheColeswouldsoonhavemadethatuptoyou:andsuchacoseylittlenest。"
"Wellthehousewillnotrunaway。"
"Butsomebodyissuretosnapitup。ItisaBijou。"Shewasdisappointed，andhalfinclinedtopout。ButsheventedherfeelingsinalettertoherbelovedFlorry，andappearedatdinnerassweetasusual。
Duringdinneranotecamefromtheagent，acceptingDr。Staine"soffer。Heglozedthematterthus:hehadpersuadedtheowneritwasbettertotakeagoodtenantatamoderateloss，thantolettheBijoubeuninhabitedduringthepresentrainyseason。Anassignmentofthelease——whichcontainedtheusualcovenants——wouldbepreparedimmediately，andDr。Stainescouldhavepossessioninforty-eighthours，bypayingthepremium。
Rosawasdelighted，andassoonasdinnerwasover，andthewaitersgone，shecameandkissedChristopher。
Hesmiled，andsaid，"Well，youarepleased；thatistheprincipalthing。Ihavesavedtwohundredpounds，andthatissomething。Itwillgotowardsfurnishing。"
"La!yes，"saidRosa，"Iforgot。Weshallhavetogetfurniturenow。Hownice!"Itwasapleasurethemanofforecastcouldhavewillinglydispensedwith；buthesmiledather，andtheydiscussedfurniture，andChristopher，whoseretentivememoryhadpickedupalittleofeverything，saidtherewerewholesaleupholsterersintheCitywhosoldcheaperthantheWest-endhouses，andhethoughtthebestwaywastomeasuretheroomsintheBijou，andgotothecitywithaclearideaofwhattheywanted；askthepricesofvariousnecessaryarticles，andthenmakealist，anddemandadiscountoffifteenpercentonthewholeorder，beingsoconsiderable，andpaidforincash。
Rosaacquiesced，andtoldChristopherhewasthecleverestmaninEngland。
Aboutnineo"clockMrs。Colecameintocondolewithherfriend，andheardthegoodnews。WhenRosatoldherhowtheythoughtoffurnishing，shesaid，"Ohno，youmustnotdothat；youwillpaydoubleforeverything。ThatisthemistakeJohnnieandImade；andafterthatafriendofminetookmetotheauction-rooms，andIsaweverythingsold——oh，suchbargains；half，andlessthanhalf，theirvalue。Shehasfurnishedherhousealmostentirelyfromsales，andshehastheloveliestthingsintheworld——suchducksoftables，andjardinieres，andthings；andbeautifulrarechina——herhouseswarmswithit——foranoldsong。Asaleistheplace。Andthensoamusing。"
"Yes，but，"saidChristopher，"Ishouldnotlikemywifetoencounterapublicroom。"
"Notalone，ofcourse；butwithme。La!Dr。Staines，theyaretoofullofbuyingandsellingtotroubletheirheadsaboutus。"
"Oh，Christopher，doletmegowithher。AmIalwaystobeachild?"
Thusappealedtobeforeastranger，Stainesrepliedwarmly，"No，dearest，no；youcannotpleasemebetterthanbybeginninglifeinearnest。Ifyoutwoladiestogethercanfaceanauction-room，gobyallmeans；onlyImustaskyounottobuychinaorormulu，oranythingthatwillbreakorspoil，butonlysolid，goodfurniture。"
"Won"tyoucomewithus?"
"No；oryoumightfeelyourselfinleading-strings。RemembertheBijouisasmallhouse；chooseyourfurnituretofitit，andthenweshallsavesomethingbyitsbeingsosmall。"
ThiswasWednesday。TherewasaweeklysaleinOxfordStreetonFridays；andtheladiesmadetheappointmentaccordingly。
Nextday，afterbreakfast，Christopherwassilentandthoughtfulawhile，andatlastsaidtoRosa，"I"llshowyouIdon"tlookonyouasachild；I"llconsultyouinadelicatematter。"
Rosa"seyessparkled。
"ItisaboutmyUnclePhilip。Hehasbeenverycruel；hehaswoundedmedeeply；hehaswoundedmethroughmywife。Ineverthoughthewouldrefusetocometoourmarriage。"
"Anddidhe?Younevershowedmehisletter。"
"Youwerenotmywifethen。Ikeptanaffrontfromyou；butnow，yousee，Ikeepnothing。"
"DearChristie!"
"Iamsohappy，Ihavegotoverthatsting——almost；andthememoryofmanykindactscomesbacktome；andIdon"tknowwhattodo。
Itseemsungratefulnottovisithim——itseemsalmostmeantocall。"
"I"lltellyou；takemetoseehimdirectly。Hewon"thateusforever，ifheseesusoften。Wemayaswellbeginatonce。
Nobodyhatesmelong。"
Christopherwasproudofhiswife"scourageandwisdom。Hekissedher，beggedhertoputontheplainestdressshecould，andtheywenttogethertocallonUnclePhilip。
WhentheygottohishouseinGloucesterPlace，PortmanSquare，Rosa"sheartbegantoquake，andshewasrightgladwhentheservantsaid"Notathome。"
Theylefttheircardsandaddress；andshepersuadedChristophertotakehertothesale-roomtoseethethings。
Alotofbrokerswerethere，likevultures；andoneafteranothersteppedforwardandpesteredthemtoemployhiminthemorning。
Dr。Stainesdeclinedtheirservicescivillybutfirmly，andheandRosalookedoveraquantityoffurniture，andsettledwhatsortofthingstobuy。
Anotherbrokercameup，andwheneverthecouplestoppedbeforeanarticle，proceededtopraiseitassomethingmostextraordinary。
Staineslistenedincold，satiricalsilence，andtoldhiswife，inFrench，todothesame。Notwithstandingtheirmarkeddisgust，theimpudent，intrusivefellowstucktothem，andforcedhisvenalcriticismonthem，andmadethemuncomfortable，andshortenedtheirtourofobservation。
"IthinkIshallcomewithyouto-morrow，"saidChristopher，"orI
shallhavetheseblackguardspesteringyou。"
"Oh，Florrywillsendthemtotheright-about。Sheisasbraveasalion。"
NextdayDr。StaineswassentforintotheCityattwelvetopaythemoneyandreceivetheleaseoftheBijou，andthisandthetakingpossessionoccupiedhimtillfouro"clock，whenhecametohishotel。
Meantime，hiswifeandMrs。Colehadgonetotheauction-room。
Itwasalargeroom，withagoodsprinklingofpeople，butnotcrowdedexceptaboutthetable。Attheheadofthistable——fulltwentyfeetlong——wastheauctioneer"spulpit，andthelotswerebroughtinturntotheotherendofthetableforsightandsale。
"Wemusttryandgetaseat，"saidtheenterprisingMrs。Cole，andpushedboldlyin；thetimidRosafollowedstrictlyinherwake，andsoevadedthehumanwavesherleaderclove。Theywereimportunedateverystepbybrokersthrustingcataloguesonthem，withoffersoftheirservices，yettheysoongottothetable。Agentlemanresignedonechair，abrokeranother，andtheywereseated。
Mrs。Stainesletdownhalfherveil，butMrs。Colesurveyedthecompanypoint-blank。
Thebrokerwhohadgivenuphisseat，andnowstoodbehindRosa，offeredherhiscatalogue。"No，thankyou，"saidRosa；"Ihaveone；"andsheproducedit，andstudiedit，yetmanagedtolookfurtivelyatthecompany。
TherewerenotaboveadozenprivatepersonsvisiblefromwhereRosasat；perhapsasmanymoreinthewholeroom。Theywereeasilydistinguishablebytheircleanlyappearance:thedealers，maleorfemale，weremoreorlessrusty，greasy，dirty，aquiline。Noteventheamateurswerebrightlydressed；thatfundamentalerrorwasconfinedtoMesdamesColeandStaines。Theexperienced，howeverwealthy，donothuntbargainsinsilkandsatin。
Theauctioneercalled"Lot7。Foursaucepans，twotrays，akettle，abootjack，andatowel-horse。"
Thesewereputupattwoshillings，andspeedilyknockeddownforfivetoafatoldwomaninagreasyvelvetjacket；blindindustryhadsewedbuglesonit，notartfully，butagriculturally。
"Theladyontheleft!"saidtheauctioneertohisclerk。Thatmeant"Getthemoney。"
Theoldladyplungedahugepawintoahugepocket，andpulledoutahugehandfulofcoin——copper，silver，andgold——andpaidforthelot；andRosasurveyedherdirtyhandsandnailswithinnocentdismay。"Oh，whatadreadfulcreature!"shewhispered；"andwhatcanshewantwiththoseoldrubbishythings?Isawaholeinonefromhere。"Thebrokeroverheard，andsaid，"Sheisadealer，ma"am，andthethingsweregivenaway。She"llsellthemforaguinea，easy。"
"Didn"tItellyou?"saidMrs。Cole。
Soonafterthisthesuperiorlotscameon，andsixveryneatbedroomchairsweresoldtoallappearanceforfifteenshillings。
Thenextlotwasidentical，andRosahazardedabid，——"Sixteenshillings。"
Instantlysomedealer，oneofthehook-nosedthatgatheredroundeachlotasitcametothefootofthetable，cried"Eighteenshillings。"
"Nineteen，"saidRosa。
"Aguinea，"saidthedealer。
"Don"tletitgo，"saidthebrokerbehindher。"Don"tletitgo，ma"am。"
Shecoloredattheintrusion，andleftoffbiddingdirectly，andaddressedherselftoMrs。Cole。"WhyshouldIgivesomuch，whenthelastweresoldforfifteenshillings?"
Therealreasonwasthatthefirstlotwasnotbidforatall，exceptbytheproprietor。However，thebrokergaveheraverydifferentsolution；hesaid，"Thetradealwaysrunupaladyoragentleman。Letmebidforyou；theywon"trunmeup；theyknowbetter。"
Rosadidnotreply，butlookedatMrs。Cole。
"Yes，dear，"saidthatlady；"youhadmuchbetterlethimbidforyou。"
"Verywell，"saidRosa；"youcanbidforthischestofdrawers——lot25。"
Whenlot25cameon，thebrokerbidinthesilliestpossibleway，ifhisobjecthadbeentogetabargain。Hebegantobidearlyandostentatiously；thearticlewasprotectedbysomebodyorothertherepresent，whonowofcoursesawhiswayclear；heranitupaudaciously，anditwaspurchasedforRosaataboutthepriceitcouldhavebeenboughtforatashop。
Thenextthingshewantedwasasetofoakchairs。
Theywentuptotwenty-eightpounds；thenshesaid，"Ishallgivenomore，sir。"
"Betternotlosethem，"saidtheagent；"theyareagreatbargain；"
andbidanotherpoundforheronhisownresponsibility。
Theywerestillrunup，andRosaperemptorilyrefusedtogiveanymore。Shelostthem，accordingly，bygoodluck。Herfaithfulbrokerlookedblank；sodidtheproprietor。
But，asthesaleproceeded，shebeingyoung，thecompetition，thoughmostofitsham，beingartfulandexciting，andthetraitorsheemployedconstantlypuffingeveryarticle，shewasdrawnintowishingforthings，andbiddingbyherfeelings。
Thenhertraitorplayedagamethathasbeenplayedahundredtimes，andtheperpetratorsneveroncelynched，astheyoughttobe，onthespot。Hesignalledaconfederatewithahookednose；
theJewrascalbidagainsttheChristianscoundrel，andsotheyranupthemoreenticingthingstotwicetheirvalueunderthehammer。
Rosagotflushed，andhereyegleamedlikeagambler"s，andsheboughtawaylikewildfire。Inwhichsportshecaughtsightofanoldgentleman，withlittleblackeyesthatkepttwinklingather。
ShecomplainedoftheseeyestoMrs。Cole。"Whydoeshetwinkleso?Icanseeitisatme。Iamdoingsomethingfoolish——IknowI
am。"
Mrs。Coleturned，andfixedahaughtystareontheoldgentleman。
Wouldyoubelieveit?insteadofsinkingthroughthefloor，hesathisground，andretortedwithacold，cleargrin。
Butnow，wheneverRosa"sagentbidforher，andtheothermanofstrawagainsthim，theblackeyestwinkled，andRosa"scouragebegantooozeaway。Atlastshesaid，"Thatisenoughforoneday。
Ishallgo。Whocouldbearthoseeyes?"
Thebrokertookheraddress；sodidtheauctioneer"sclerk。Theauctioneeraskedherfornodeposit；herbeautiful，innocent，andhigh-bredfacewasenoughforamanwhowasalwaysreadingfaces，andinterpretingthem。
Andsotheyretired。
Butthischarmingsexislikethatsameauctioneer"shammer，itcannotgoabruptly。Itisalwaysgoing——going——going——alongtimebeforeitisgone。Ithinkitwouldperhapsloiteratthedoorofajail，withtheorderofreleaseinitshand，aftersixyears"
confinement。Gettinguptogoquenchesinitthedesiretogo。Sotheseladieshavinggotuptogo，turnedandlingered，andhungfiresolong，thatatlastanothersetofoakchairscameup。"Oh!
Imustseewhatthesegofor，"saidRosa，atthedoor。
ThebiddingwasmightylanguidnowRosa"sbrokerwasnotstimulatingit；andtheauctioneerwasjustknockingdowntwelvechairs——oakandleather——andtwoarm-chairs，fortwentypounds，when，castinghiseyesaround，hecaughtsightofRosalookingathimratherexcited。Helookedinquiringlyather。Shenoddedslightly；heknockedthemdowntoherattwentyguineas，andtheywerereallyagreatbargain。
"Twenty-two，"criedthedealer。
"Toolate，"saidtheauctioneer。
"Ispokewiththehammer，sir。"
"Afterthehammer，Isaacs。"
"ShelpmeGod，wewastogether。"
Oneortwomoreofhistribeconfirmedthispiousfalsehood，andclamoredtohavethemputupagain。
"Callthenextlot，"saidtheauctioneer，peremptorily。"Makeupyourmindalittlequickernexttime，Mr。Isaacs；youhavebeenlongenoughatittoknowthevalueofoakandmoroccar。"