第3章
- Here!saidItoanoldsoldierwithonehand，whohadbeencampaignedandwornouttodeathintheservice-here"sacoupleofsousforthee-VIVELEROI!saidtheoldsoldier。
Ihadthenbutthreesousleft:soIgaveone，simply，POURL"AMOUR
DEDIEU，whichwasthefootingonwhichitwasbegg"d-Thepoorwomanhadadislocatedhip；soitcouldnotbewelluponanyothermotive。
MONCHERETTRES-CHARITABLEMONSIEUR-There"snoopposingthis，saidI。
MILORDANGLOIS-theverysoundwasworththemoney；-soIgaveMY
LASTSOUSFORIT。Butintheeagernessofgiving，IhadoverlookedaPAUVREHONTEUX，whohadhadnoonetoaskasousforhim，andwho，Ibelieve，wouldhaveperished，erehecouldhaveask"doneforhimself:hestoodbythechaisealittlewithoutthecircle，andwipedatearfromafacewhichIthoughthadseenbetterdays-
GoodGod!saidI-andIhavenotonesinglesouslefttogivehim-Butyouhaveathousand!criedallthepowersofnature，stirringwithinme；-soIgavehim-nomatterwhat-IamashamedtosayHOWMUCHnow，-andwasashamedtothinkhowlittle，then:
so，ifthereadercanformanyconjectureofmydisposition，asthesetwofixedpointsaregivenhim，hemayjudgewithinalivreortwowhatwastheprecisesum。
Icouldaffordnothingfortherest，butDIEUVOUSBENISSE!-
ETLEBONDIEUVOUSBENISSEENCORE，saidtheoldsoldier，thedwarf，&c。ThePAUVREHONTEUXcouldsaynothing；-hepull"doutalittlehandkerchief，andwipedhisfaceasheturnedaway-andI
thoughthethankedmemorethanthemall。
THEBIDET。
HAVINGsettledalltheselittlematters，Igotintomypost-chaisewithmoreeasethaneverIgotintoapost-chaiseinmylife；andLaFleurhavinggotonelargejack-bootonthefarsideofalittleBIDET，andanotheronthis(forIcountnothingofhislegs)-hecanter"dawaybeforemeashappyandasperpendicularasaprince-
Butwhatishappiness!whatisgrandeurinthispaintedsceneoflife!Adeadass，beforewehadgotaleague，putasuddenstoptoLaFleur"scareer；-hisbidetwouldnotpassbyit，-acontentionarosebetwixtthem，andthepoorfellowwaskick"doutofhisjack-
bootstheveryfirstkick。
LaFleurborehisfalllikeaFrenchChristian，sayingneithermorenorlessuponit，thanDIABLE!Sopresentlygotup，andcametothechargeagainastridehisbidet，beatinghimuptoitashewouldhavebeathisdrum。
Thebidetflewfromonesideoftheroadtotheother，thenbackagain，-thenthisway，thenthatway，andinshort，everywaybutbythedeadass:-LaFleurinsisteduponthething-andthebidetthrewhim。
What"sthematter，LaFleur，saidI，withthisbidetofthine?
Monsieur，saidhe，C"ESTUNCHEVALLEPLUSOPINIATREDUMONDE-
Nay，ifheisaconceitedbeast，hemustgohisownway，repliedI。
SoLaFleurgotoffhim，andgivinghimagoodsoundlash，thebidettookmeatmyword，andawayhescamperedbacktoMontreuil-
PESTE!saidLaFleur。
ItisnotMAL-E-PROPOStotakenoticehere，thatthoughLaFleuravailedhimselfbutoftwodifferenttermsofexclamationinthisencounter，-namely，DIABLE!andPESTE!thatthereare，nevertheless，threeintheFrenchlanguage:likethepositive，comparative，andsuperlative，oneortheotherofwhichservesforeveryunexpectedthrowofthediceinlife。
LEDIABLE!whichisthefirst，andpositivedegree，isgenerallyuseduponordinaryemotionsofthemind，wheresmallthingsonlyfalloutcontrarytoyourexpectations；suchas-thethrowingoncedoublets-LaFleur"sbeingkick"doffhishorse，andsoforth-
Cuckoldom，forthesamereason，isalways-LEDIABLE!
But，incaseswherethecasthassomethingprovokinginit，asinthatofthebidet"srunningawayafter，andleavingLaFleuragroundinjack-boots，-"tistheseconddegree。
"TisthenPESTE!
Andforthethird——
Butheremyheartiswrungwithpityandfellowfeeling，whenI
reflectwhatmiseriesmusthavebeentheirlot，andhowbitterlysorefinedapeoplemusthavesmarted，tohaveforcedthemupontheuseofit-
Grantme，Oyepowerswhichtouchthetonguewitheloquenceindistress!-whateverismyCAST，grantmebutdecentwordstoexclaimin，andIwillgivemynatureway-
ButasthesewerenottobehadinFrance，Iresolvedtotakeeveryeviljustasitbefellme，withoutanyexclamationatall。
LaFleur，whohadmadenosuchcovenantwithhimself，followedthebidetwithhiseyestillitwasgotoutofsight，-andthen，youmayimagine，ifyouplease，withwhatwordheclosedthewholeaffair。
Astherewasnohuntingdownafrightenedhorseinjack-boots，thereremainednoalternativebuttakingLaFleureitherbehindthechaise，orintoit-
Ipreferredthelatter，andinhalfanhourwegottothepost-
houseatNampont。
NAMPONT。THEDEADASS-
ANDthis，saidhe，puttingtheremainsofacrustintohiswallet-andthisshouldhavebeenthyportion，saidhe，hadstthoubeenalivetohaveshareditwithme-Ithought，bytheaccent，ithadbeenanapostrophetohischild；but"twastohisass，andtotheveryasswehadseendeadintheroad，whichhadoccasionedLaFleur"smisadventure。Themanseemedtolamentitmuch；anditinstantlybroughtintomymindSancho"slamentationforhis；buthediditwithmoretruetouchesofnature。
Themournerwassittinguponastonebenchatthedoor，withtheass"spannelanditsbridleononeside，whichhetookupfromtimetotime，-thenlaidthemdown，-look"datthem，andshookhishead。Hethentookhiscrustofbreadoutofhiswalletagain，asiftoeatit；helditsometimeinhishand，-thenlaidituponthebitofhisass"sbridle，-lookedwistfullyatthelittlearrangementhehadmade-andthengaveasigh。
Thesimplicityofhisgriefdrewnumbersabouthim，andLaFleuramongsttherest，whilstthehorsesweregettingready；asI
continuedsittinginthepost-chaise，Icouldseeandhearovertheirheads-
HesaidhehadcomelastfromSpain，wherehehadbeenfromthefurthestbordersofFranconia；andhadgotsofaronhisreturnhome，whenhisassdied。Everyoneseemeddesiroustoknowwhatbusinesscouldhavetakensooldandpooramansofarajourneyfromhisownhome。
Ithadpleasedheaven，hesaid，toblesshimwiththreesons，thefinestladsinGermany；buthavinginoneweeklosttwooftheeldestofthembythesmall-pox，andtheyoungestfallingillofthesamedistemper，hewasafraidofbeingbereftofthemall；andmadeavow，ifheavenwouldnottakehimfromhimalso，hewouldgoingratitudetoSt。IagoinSpain。
Whenthemournergotthusfaronhisstory，hestopp"dtopayNaturehertribute，-andweptbitterly。
Hesaid，heavenhadacceptedtheconditions；andthathehadsetoutfromhiscottagewiththispoorcreature，whohadbeenapatientpartnerofhisjourney；-thatithadeatenthesamebreadwithhimalltheway，andwasuntohimasafriend。
Everybodywhostoodabout，heardthepoorfellowwithconcern-
LaFleurofferedhimmoney-Themournersaidhedidnotwantit；-
itwasnotthevalueoftheass-butthelossofhim-Theass，hesaid，hewasassured，lovedhim；-anduponthistoldthemalongstoryofamischanceupontheirpassageoverthePyreneanmountains，whichhadseparatedthemfromeachotherthreedays；
duringwhichtimetheasshadsoughthimasmuchashehadsoughttheass，andthattheyhadscarceeithereatenordranktilltheymet。
Thouhastonecomfort，friend，saidI，atleast，inthelossofthypoorbeast；I"msurethouhastbeenamercifulmastertohim-
Alas!saidthemourner，Ithoughtsowhenhewasalive；-butnowthatheisdead，Ithinkotherwise-Ifeartheweightofmyselfandmyafflictionstogetherhavebeentoomuchforhim，-theyhaveshortenedthepoorcreature"sdays，andIfearIhavethemtoanswerfor-Shameontheworld!saidItomyself-Didwebutloveeachotherasthispoorsoullovedhisass-"twouldbesomething-
NAMPONT。THEPOSTILION。
THEconcernwhichthepoorfellow"sstorythrewmeintorequiredsomeattention；thepostilionpaidnottheleasttoit，butsetoffuponthePAVEinafullgallop。
ThethirstiestsoulinthemostsandydesertofArabiacouldnothavewishedmoreforacupofcoldwater，thanminedidforgraveandquietmovements；andIshouldhavehadanhighopinionofthepostilionhadhebutstolenoffwithmeinsomethinglikeapensivepace-Onthecontrary，asthemournerfinishedhislamentation，thefellowgaveanunfeelinglashtoeachofhisbeasts，andsetoffclatteringlikeathousanddevils。
IcalledtohimasloudasIcould，forheaven"ssaketogoslower:-
andthelouderIcalled，themoreunmercifullyhegalloped-Thedeucetakehimandhisgallopingtoo-saidI，-he"llgoontearingmynervestopiecestillhehasworkedmeintoafoolishpassion，andthenhe"llgoslowthatImayenjoythesweetsofit。
Thepostilionmanagedthepointtoamiracle:bythetimehehadgottothefootofasteephill，abouthalfaleaguefromNampont，-hehadputmeoutoftemperwithhim，-andthenwithmyself，forbeingso。
Mycasethenrequiredadifferenttreatment；andagoodrattlinggallopwouldhavebeenofrealservicetome——
Then，prithee，geton-geton，mygoodlad，saidI。
Thepostilionpointedtothehill-IthentriedtoreturnbacktothestoryofthepoorGermanandhisass-butIhadbroketheclue，-andcouldnomoregetintoitagain，thanthepostilioncouldintoatrot-
Thedeucego，saidI，withitall!HereamIsittingascandidlydisposedtomakethebestoftheworst，aseverwightwas，andallrunscounter。
Thereisonesweetlenitiveatleastforevils，whichNatureholdsouttous:soItookitkindlyatherhands，andfellasleep；andthefirstwordwhichrousedmewasAMIENS-
Blessme!saidI，rubbingmyeyes，-thisistheverytownwheremypoorladyistocome。
AMIENS。
THEwordswerescarceoutofmymouthwhentheCountdeL-"spost-
chaise，withhissisterinit，drovehastilyby:shehadjusttimetomakemeabowofrecognition，-andofthatparticularkindofit，whichtoldmeshehadnotyetdonewithme。Shewasasgoodasherlook；for，beforeIhadquitefinishedmysupper，herbrother"sservantcameintotheroomwithabillet，inwhichshesaidshehadtakenthelibertytochargemewithaletter，whichIwastopresentmyselftoMadameR-thefirstmorningIhadnothingtodoatParis。Therewasonlyadded，shewassorry，butfromwhatPENCHANTshehadnotconsidered，thatshehadbeenpreventedtellingmeherstory，-thatshestillowedittome；andifmyrouteshouldeverlaythroughBrussels，andIhadnotbythenforgotthenameofMadamedeL-，-thatMadamedeL-wouldbegladtodischargeherobligation。
ThenIwillmeetthee，saidI，fairspirit!atBrussels；-"tisonlyreturningfromItalythroughGermanytoHolland，bytherouteofFlanders，home；-"twillscarcebetenpostsoutofmyway；but，wereittenthousand!withwhatamoraldelightwillitcrownmyjourney，insharinginthesickeningincidentsofataleofmiserytoldtomebysuchasufferer?Toseeherweep!and，thoughI
cannotdryupthefountainofhertears，whatanexquisitesensationistherestillleft，inwipingthemawayfromoffthecheeksofthefirstandfairestofwomen，asI"msittingwithmyhandkerchiefinmyhandinsilencethewholenightbesideher?
Therewasnothingwronginthesentiment；andyetIinstantlyreproachedmyheartwithitinthebitterestandmostreprobateofexpressions。
Ithadever，asItoldthereader，beenoneofthesingularblessingsofmylife，tobealmosteveryhourofitmiserablyinlovewithsomeone；andmylastflamehappeningtobeblownoutbyawhiffofjealousyonthesuddenturnofacorner，IhadlighteditupafreshatthepuretaperofElizabutaboutthreemonthsbefore，-swearing，asIdidit，thatitshouldlastmethroughthewholejourney-WhyshouldIdissemblethematter?Ihadsworntohereternalfidelity；-shehadarighttomywholeheart:-todividemyaffectionswastolessenthem；-toexposethemwastoriskthem:wherethereisrisktheremaybeloss:-andwhatwiltthouhave，Yorick，toanswertoaheartsofulloftrustandconfidence-sogood，sogentle，andunreproaching!-
IwillnotgotoBrussels，repliedI，interruptingmyself-Butmyimaginationwenton，-Irecalledherlooksatthatcrisisofourseparation，whenneitherofushadpowertosayadieu!I
look"datthepictureshehadtiedinablackribandaboutmyneck，-andblush"dasIlook"datit-Iwouldhavegiventheworldtohavekiss"dit，-butwasashamed-Andshallthistenderflower，saidI，pressingitbetweenmyhands，-shallitbesmittentoitsveryroot，-andsmitten，Yorick!bythee，whohastpromisedtoshelteritinthybreast?
EternalFountainofHappiness!saidI，kneelingdownupontheground，-bethoumywitness-andeverypurespiritwhichtastesit，bemywitnessalso，ThatIwouldnottraveltoBrussels，unlessElizawentalongwithme，didtheroadleadmetowardsheaven!
Intransportsofthiskind，theheart，inspiteoftheunderstanding，willalwayssaytoomuch。
THELETTER。AMIENS。
FORTUNEhadnotsmileduponLaFleur；forhehadbeenunsuccessfulinhisfeatsofchivalry，-andnotonethinghadofferedtosignalisehiszealformyservicefromthetimethathehadenteredintoit，whichwasalmostfour-and-twentyhours。Thepoorsoulburn"dwithimpatience；andtheCountdeL-"sservantcomingwiththeletter，beingthefirstpracticableoccasionwhichoffer"d，LaFleurhadlaidholdofit；and，inordertodohonourtohismaster，hadtakenhimintoabackparlourintheauberge，andtreatedhimwithacuportwoofthebestwineinPicardy；andtheCountdeL-"sservant，inreturn，andnottobebehindhandinpolitenesswithLaFleur，hadtakenhimbackwithhimtotheCount"shotel。LaFleur"sPREVENANCY(fortherewasapassportinhisverylooks)soonseteveryservantinthekitchenateasewithhim；andasaFrenchman，whateverbehistalents，hasnosortofpruderyinshowingthem，LaFleur，inlessthanfiveminutes，hadpulledouthisfife，andleadingoffthedancehimselfwiththefirstnote，settheFILLEDECHAMBRE，theMAITRED"HOTEL，thecook，thescullion，andallthehouse-hold，dogsandcats，besidesanoldmonkey，adancing:Isupposethereneverwasamerrierkitchensincetheflood。
MadamedeL-，inpassingfromherbrother"sapartmentstoherown，hearingsomuchjollitybelowstairs，rungupherFILLEDECHAMBRE
toaskaboutit；and，hearingitwastheEnglishgentleman"sservant，whohadsetthewholehousemerrywithhispipe，sheorderedhimup。
Asthepoorfellowcouldnotpresenthimselfempty，hehadloadedhimselfingoingupstairswithathousandcomplimentstoMadamedeL-，onthepartofhismaster，-addedalongapocryphaofinquiriesafterMadamedeL-"shealth，-toldher，thatMonsieurhismasterwasAUDESESPOIREforherre-establishmentfromthefatiguesofherjourney，-and，tocloseall，thatMonsieurhadreceivedtheletterwhichMadamehaddonehimthehonour-Andhehasdonemethehonour，saidMadamedeL-，interruptingLaFleur，tosendabilletinreturn。
MadamedeL-hadsaidthiswithsuchatoneofrelianceuponthefact，thatLaFleurhadnotpowertodisappointherexpectations；-
hetrembledformyhonour，-andpossiblymightnotaltogetherbeunconcernedforhisown，asamancapableofbeingattachedtoamasterwhocouldbewantingENEGARDSVISEVISD"UNEFEMME!sothatwhenMadamedeL-askedLaFleurifhehadbroughtaletter，-
OQU"OUI，saidLaFleur:solayingdownhishatupontheground，andtakingholdoftheflapofhisrightsidepocketwithhislefthand，hebegantosearchfortheletterwithhisright；-thencontrariwise-DIABLE!thensoughteverypocket-pocketbypocket，round，notforgettinghisfob:-PESTE!-thenLaFleuremptiedthemuponthefloor，-pulledoutadirtycravat，-ahandkerchief，-acomb，-awhiplash，-anightcap，-thengaveapeepintohishat，-QUELLEETOURDERIE!Hehadlefttheletteruponthetableintheauberge；-hewouldrunforit，andbebackwithitinthreeminutes。
IhadjustfinishedmysupperwhenLaFleurcameintogivemeanaccountofhisadventure:hetoldthewholestorysimplyasitwas:
andonlyaddedthatifMonsieurhadforgot(PARHAZARD)toanswerMadame"sletter，thearrangementgavehimanopportunitytorecovertheFAUXPAS；-andifnot，thatthingswereonlyastheywere。
NowIwasnotaltogethersureofmyETIQUETTE，whetherIoughttohavewroteorno；-butifIhad，-adevilhimselfcouldnothavebeenangry:"twasbuttheofficiouszealofawellmeaningcreatureformyhonour；and，howeverhemighthavemistooktheroad，-orembarrassedmeinsodoing，-hisheartwasinnofault，-Iwasundernonecessitytowrite；-and，whatweighedmorethanall，-
hedidnotlookasifhehaddoneamiss-
"Tisallverywell，LaFleur，saidI-"Twassufficient。LaFleurflewoutoftheroomlikelightning，andreturnedwithpen，ink，andpaper，inhishand；and，cominguptothetable，laidthemclosebeforeme，withsuchadelightinhiscountenance，thatI
couldnothelptakingupthepen。
Ibeganandbeganagain；and，thoughIhadnothingtosay，andthatnothingmighthavebeenexpressedinhalfadozenlines，Imadehalfadozendifferentbeginnings，andcouldnowaypleasemyself。
Inshort，Iwasinnomoodtowrite。
LaFleurstepp"doutandbroughtalittlewaterinaglasstodilutemyink，-thenfetch"dsandandseal-wax-Itwasallone；
Iwrote，andblotted，andtoreoff，andburnt，andwroteagain-
LEDIABLEL"EMPORTE!saidI，halftomyself，-Icannotwritethisself-sameletter，throwingthependowndespairinglyasIsaidit。
AssoonasIhadcastdownmypen，LaFleuradvancedwiththemostrespectfulcarriageuptothetable，andmakingathousandapologiesforthelibertyhewasgoingtotake，toldmehehadaletterinhispocketwrotebyadrummerinhisregimenttoacorporal"swife，whichhedurstsaywouldsuittheoccasion。
Ihadamindtoletthepoorfellowhavehishumour-Thenprithee，saidI，letmeseeit。
LaFleurinstantlypulledoutalittledirtypocketbookcramm"dfullofsmalllettersandbillet-douxinasadcondition，andlayingituponthetable，andthenuntyingthestringwhichheldthemalltogether，runthemover，onebyone，tillhecametotheletterinquestion，-LAVOILA!saidhe，clappinghishands:so，unfoldingitfirst，helaiditopenbeforeme，andretiredthreestepsfromthetablewhilstIreadit。
THELETTER。
Madame，JEsuispenetredeladouleurlaplusvive，etreduitenmemetempsaudesespoirparceretourimprevuduCaporalquirendnotreentrevuedecesoirlachosedumondelaplusimpossible。
Maisvivelajoie!ettoutelamienneseradepenserevous。
L"amourn"estRIENsanssentiment。
EtlesentimentestencoreMOINSsansamour。
Onditqu"onnedoitjamaissedesesperer。
OnditaussiqueMonsieurleCaporalmontelagardeMercredi:alorsceceramontour。
CHACUNESONTOUR。
Enattendant-Vivel"amour!etvivelabagatelle!
Jesuis，Madame，Avectouslessentimenslesplusrespectueuxetlesplustendres，toutevous，JAQUESROQUE。
ItwasbutchangingtheCorporalintotheCount，-andsayingnothingaboutmountingguardonWednesday，-andtheletterwasneitherrightnorwrong:-so，togratifythepoorfellow，whostoodtremblingformyhonour，hisown，andthehonourofhisletter，-Itookthecreamgentlyoffit，andwhippingitupinmyownway，Iseal"ditupandsenthimwithittoMadamedeL-；-andthenextmorningwepursuedourjourneytoParis。
PARIS。
WHENamancancontestthepointbydintofequipage，andcarryallonflounderingbeforehimwithhalfadozenoflackiesandacoupleofcooks-"tisverywellinsuchaplaceasParis，-hemaydriveinatwhichendofastreethewill。
Apoorprincewhoisweakincavalry，andwhosewholeinfantrydoesnotexceedasingleman，hadbestquitthefield，andsignalizehimselfinthecabinet，ifhecangetupintoit；-IsayUPINTO
IT-forthereisnodescendingperpendicularamongst"emwitha"MEVOICI!MESENFANS"-hereIam-whatevermanymaythink。
Iownmyfirstsensations，assoonasIwasleftsolitaryandaloneinmyownchamberinthehotel，werefarfrombeingsoflatteringasIhadprefiguredthem。Iwalkedupgravelytothewindowinmydustyblackcoat，andlookingthroughtheglasssawalltheworldinyellow，blue，andgreen，runningattheringofpleasure-Theoldwithbrokenlances，andinhelmetswhichhadlosttheirvizards；-theyounginarmourbrightwhichshonelikegold，beplumedwitheachgayfeatheroftheeast，-all，-all，tiltingatitlikefascinatedknightsintournamentsofyoreforfameandlove-
Alas，poorYorick!criedI，whatartthoudoinghere?Ontheveryfirstonsetofallthisglitteringclatterthouartreducedtoanatom；-seek，-seeksomewindingalley，withatourniquetattheendofit，wherechariotneverrolledorflambeaushotitsrays；-
therethoumayestsolacethysoulinconversesweetwithsomekindgrisetteofabarber"swife，andgetintosuchcoteries!——
MayIperish!ifIdo，saidI，pullingouttheletterwhichIhadtopresenttoMadamedeR——I"llwaituponthislady，theveryfirstthingIdo。SoIcalledLaFleurtogoseekmeabarberdirectly，-andcomebackandbrushmycoat。
THEWIG。PARIS。
WHENthebarbercame，heabsolutelyrefusedtohaveanythingtodowithmywig:"twaseitheraboveorbelowhisart:Ihadnothingtodobuttotakeonereadymadeofhisownrecommendation-
ButIfear，friend!saidI，thisbucklewon"tstand-Youmayemergeit，repliedhe，intotheocean，anditwillstand-
WhatagreatscaleiseverythinguponinthiscitythoughtI-
TheutmoststretchofanEnglishperiwig-maker"sideascouldhavegonenofurtherthantohave"dippeditintoapailofwater。"-
Whatdifference!"tislikeTimetoEternity!
IconfessIdohateallcoldconceptions，asIdothepunyideaswhichengenderthem；andamgenerallysostruckwiththegreatworksofnature，thatformyownpart，ifIcouldhelpit，Ineverwouldmakeacomparisonlessthanamountainatleast。AllthatcanbesaidagainsttheFrenchsublime，inthisinstanceofit，isthis:-ThatthegrandeurisMOREintheWORD，andLESSintheTHING。Nodoubt，theoceanfillsthemindwithvastideas；butParisbeingsofarinland，itwasnotlikelyIshouldrunpostahundredmilesoutofit，totrytheexperiment；-theParisianbarbermeantnothing-
Thepailofwaterstandingbesidethegreatdeep，makes，certainly，butasorryfigureinspeech；-but，"twillbesaid，-ithasoneadvantage-"tisinthenextroom，andthetruthofthebucklemaybetriedinit，withoutmoreado，inasinglemoment。
Inhonesttruth，anduponamorecandidrevisionofthematter，THE
FRENCHEXPRESSIONPROFESSESMORETHANITPERFORMS。
IthinkIcanseethepreciseanddistinguishingmarksofnationalcharactersmoreinthesenonsensicalMINUTIAEthaninthemostimportantmattersofstate；wheregreatmenofallnationstalkandstalksomuchalike，thatIwouldnotgiveninepencetochooseamongstthem。
Iwassolongingettingfromundermybarber"shands，thatitwastoolatetothinkofgoingwithmylettertoMadameR-thatnight:
butwhenamanisoncedressedatallpointsforgoingout，hisreflectionsturntolittleaccount；sotakingdownthenameoftheHoteldeModene，whereIlodged，Iwalkedforthwithoutanydeterminationwheretogo；-Ishallconsiderofthat，saidI，asI
walkalong。
THEPULSE。PARIS。
HAIL，yesmallsweetcourtesiesoflife，forsmoothdoyemaketheroadofit!likegraceandbeauty，whichbegetinclinationstoloveatfirstsight:"tisyewhoopenthisdoorandletthestrangerin-
Pray，Madame，saidI，havethegoodnesstotellmewhichwayI
mustturntogototheOperaComique?-Mostwillingly，Monsieur，saidshe，layingasideherwork-
Ihadgivenacastwithmyeyeintohalfadozenshops，asIcamealong，insearchofafacenotlikelytobedisorderedbysuchaninterruption:tillatlast，this，hittingmyfancy，Ihadwalkedin。
Shewasworkingapairofruffles，asshesatinalowchair，onthefarsideoftheshop，facingthedoor-
TRESVOLONTIERS，mostwillingly，saidshe，layingherworkdownuponachairnexther，andrisingupfromthelowchairshewassittingin，withsocheerfulamovement，andsocheerfulalook，thathadIbeenlayingoutfiftylouisd"orswithher，Ishouldhavesaid-"Thiswomanisgrateful。"
Youmustturn，Monsieur，saidshe，goingwithmetothedooroftheshop，andpointingthewaydownthestreetIwastotake，-youmustturnfirsttoyourlefthand，-MAISPRENEZGARDE-therearetwoturns；andbesogoodastotakethesecond-thengodownalittlewayandyou"llseeachurch:and，whenyouarepastit，giveyourselfthetroubletoturndirectlytotheright，andthatwillleadyoutothefootofthePontNeuf，whichyoumustcross-andthereanyonewilldohimselfthepleasuretoshowyou-
Sherepeatedherinstructionsthreetimesovertome，withthesamegoodnatur"dpatiencethethirdtimeasthefirst；-andifTONES
ANDMANNERShaveameaning，whichcertainlytheyhave，unlesstoheartswhichshutthemout，-sheseemedreallyinterestedthatI
shouldnotlosemyself。
Iwillnotsupposeitwasthewoman"sbeauty，notwithstandingshewasthehandsomestgrisette，Ithink，Ieversaw，whichhadmuchtodowiththesenseIhadofhercourtesy；onlyIremember，whenI
toldherhowmuchIwasobligedtoher，thatIlookedveryfullinhereyes，-andthatIrepeatedmythanksasoftenasshehaddoneherinstructions。
Ihadnotgottenpacesfromthedoor，beforeIfoundIhadforgoteverytittleofwhatshehadsaid；-solookingback，andseeingherstillstandinginthedooroftheshop，asiftolookwhetherI
wentrightornot，-Ireturnedbacktoaskher，whetherthefirstturnwastomyrightorleft，-forthatIhadabsolutelyforgot-
Isitpossible!saidshe，halflaughing。"Tisverypossible，repliedI，whenamanisthinkingmoreofawomanthanofhergoodadvice。
Asthiswastherealtruth-shetookit，aseverywomantakesamatterofright，withaslightcurtsey-
ATTENDEZ!saidshe，layingherhanduponmyarmtodetainme，whilstshecalledaladoutofthebackshoptogetreadyaparcelofgloves。Iamjustgoingtosendhim，saidshe，withapacketintothatquarter，andifyouwillhavethecomplaisancetostepin，itwillbereadyinamoment，andheshallattendyoutotheplace-SoIwalk"dinwithhertothefarsideoftheshop:andtakinguptheruffleinmyhandwhichshelaiduponthechair，asifIhadamindtosit，shesatdownherselfinherlowchair，andIinstantlysatmyselfdownbesideher-
Hewillbeready，Monsieur，saidshe，inamoment-Andinthatmoment，repliedI，mostwillinglywouldIsaysomethingveryciviltoyouforallthesecourtesies。Anyonemaydoacasualactofgoodnature，butacontinuationofthemshowsitisapartofthetemperature；andcertainly，addedI，ifitisthesamebloodwhichcomesfromtheheartwhichdescendstotheextremes(touchingherwrist)Iamsureyoumusthaveoneofthebestpulsesofanywomanintheworld-Feelit，saidshe，holdingoutherarm。Solayingdownmyhat，Itookholdofherfingersinonehand，andappliedthetwoforefingersofmyothertotheartery——
Wouldtoheaven!mydearEugenius，thouhadstpassedby，andbeheldmesittinginmyblackcoat，andinmylack-a-day-sicalmanner，countingthethrobsofit，onebyone，withasmuchtruedevotionasifIhadbeenwatchingthecriticalebborflowofherfever-Howwouldstthouhavelaugh"dandmoralizeduponmynewprofession!-andthoushouldsthavelaugh"dandmoralizedon-
Trustme，mydearEugenius，Ishouldhavesaid，"ThereareworseoccupationsinthisworldTHANFEELINGAWOMAN"SPULSE。"-Butagrisette"s!thouwouldsthavesaid，-andinanopenshop!Yorick——
Somuchthebetter:forwhenmyviewsaredirect，Eugenius，I
carenotifalltheworldsawmefeelit。
THEHUSBAND。PARIS。