第2章
Hestopp"d，however，assoonashecameuptous，withaworldoffrankness:andhavingahornsnuffboxinhishand，hepresenteditopentome-Youshalltastemine-saidI，pullingoutmybox(whichwasasmalltortoiseone)andputtingitintohishand-
"Tismostexcellent，saidthemonk。Thendomethefavour，I
replied，toacceptoftheboxandall，andwhenyoutakeapinchoutofit，sometimesrecollectitwasthepeaceofferingofamanwhoonceusedyouunkindly，butnotfromhisheart。
Thepoormonkblush"dasredasscarlet。MONDIEU!saidhe，pressinghishandstogether-youneverusedmeunkindly-I
shouldthink，saidthelady，heisnotlikely。Iblush"dinmyturn；butfromwhatmovements，Ileavetothefewwhofeel，toanalyze-Excuseme，Madame，repliedI，-Itreatedhimmostunkindly；andfromnoprovocations-"Tisimpossible，saidthelady-MyGod!criedthemonk，withawarmthofasseverationwhichseem"dnottobelongtohim-thefaultwasinme，andintheindiscretionofmyzeal-Theladyopposedit，andIjoinedwithherinmaintainingitwasimpossible，thataspiritsoregulatedashis，couldgiveoffencetoany。
IknewnotthatcontentioncouldberenderedsosweetandpleasurableathingtothenervesasIthenfeltit-Weremainedsilent，withoutanysensationofthatfoolishpainwhichtakesplace，when，insuchacircle，youlookfortenminutesinoneanother"sfaceswithoutsayingaword。Whilstthislasted，themonkrubbedhishornboxuponthesleeveofhistunic；andassoonasithadacquiredalittleairofbrightnessbythefriction-hemademealowbow，andsaid，"twastoolatetosaywhetheritwastheweaknessorgoodnessofourtemperswhichhadinvolvedusinthiscontest-butbeitasitwould，-hebegg"dwemightexchangeboxes-Insayingthis，hepresentedhistomewithonehand，ashetookminefrommeintheother，andhavingkissedit，-withastreamofgoodnatureinhiseyes，heputitintohisbosom，-andtookhisleave。
Iguardthisbox，asIwouldtheinstrumentalpartsofmyreligion，tohelpmymindontosomethingbetter:intruth，Iseldomgoabroadwithoutit；andoftandmanyatimehaveIcalledupbyitthecourteousspiritofitsownertoregulatemyown，inthejustlingsoftheworld:theyhadfoundfullemploymentforhis，asIlearntfromhisstory，tillabouttheforty-fifthyearofhisage，whenuponsomemilitaryservicesillrequited，andmeetingatthesametimewithadisappointmentinthetenderestofpassions，heabandonedtheswordandthesextogether，andtooksanctuarynotsomuchinhisconventasinhimself。
Ifeeladampuponmyspirits，asIamgoingtoadd，thatinmylastreturnthroughCalais，uponenquiringafterFatherLorenzo，I
heardhehadbeendeadnearthreemonths，andwasburied，notinhisconvent，but，accordingtohisdesire，inalittlecemeterybelongingtoit，abouttwoleaguesoff:Ihadastrongdesiretoseewheretheyhadlaidhim，-when，uponpullingouthislittlehornbox，asIsatbyhisgrave，andpluckingupanettleortwoattheheadofit，whichhadnobusinesstogrowthere，theyallstrucktogethersoforciblyuponmyaffections，thatIburstintoafloodoftears:-butIamasweakasawoman；andIbegtheworldnottosmile，buttopityme。
THEREMISEDOOR。CALAIS。
IHADneverquittedthelady"shandallthistime，andhadhelditsolong，thatitwouldhavebeenindecenttohaveletitgo，withoutfirstpressingittomylips:thebloodandspirits，whichhadsufferedarevulsionfromher，crowdedbacktoherasIdidit。
Nowthetwotravellers，whohadspoketomeinthecoach-yard，happeningatthatcrisistobepassingby，andobservingourcommunications，naturallytookitintotheirheadsthatwemustbeMANANDWIFEatleast；so，stoppingassoonastheycameuptothedooroftheRemise，theoneofthemwhowastheInquisitiveTraveller，ask"dus，ifwesetoutforParisthenextmorning?-I
couldonlyanswerformyself，Isaid；andtheladyadded，shewasforAmiens-Wedinedthereyesterday，saidtheSimpleTraveller-
Yougodirectlythroughthetown，addedtheother，inyourroadtoParis。Iwasgoingtoreturnathousandthanksfortheintelligence，THATAMIENSWASINTHEROADTOPARIS，but，uponpullingoutmypoormonk"slittlehornboxtotakeapinchofsnuff，Imadethemaquietbow，andwishingthemagoodpassagetoDover-Theyleftusalone——
Nowwherewouldbetheharm，saidItomyself，ifIweretobegofthisdistressedladytoacceptofhalfofmychaise?-andwhatmightymischiefcouldensue?
Everydirtypassion，andbadpropensityinmynaturetookthealarm，asIstatedtheproposition-Itwillobligeyoutohaveathirdhorse，saidAvarice，whichwillputtwentylivresoutofyourpocket；-Youknownotwhatsheis，saidCaution；-orwhatscrapestheaffairmaydrawyouinto，whisper"dCowardice-
Dependuponit，Yorick!saidDiscretion，"twillbesaidyouwentoffwithamistress，andcamebyassignationtoCalaisforthatpurpose；——
Youcanneverafter，criedHypocrisyaloud，showyourfaceintheworld；-orrise，quothMeanness，inthechurch；-orbeanythinginit，saidPride，butalousyprebendary。
But"tisacivilthing，saidI；-andasIgenerallyactfromthefirstimpulse，andthereforeseldomlistentothesecabals，whichservenopurpose，thatIknowof，buttoencompasstheheartwithadamant-Iturnedinstantlyabouttothelady——
Butshehadglidedoffunperceived，asthecausewaspleading，andhadmadetenoradozenpacesdownthestreet，bythetimeI
hadmadethedetermination；soIsetoffafterherwithalongstride，tomakehertheproposal，withthebestaddressIwasmasterof:butobservingshewalk"dwithhercheekhalfrestinguponthepalmofherhand，-withtheslowshort-measur"dstepofthoughtfulness，-andwithhereyes，asshewentstepbystep，fixedupontheground，itstruckmeshewastryingthesamecauseherself-Godhelpher!saidI，shehassomemother-in-law，ortartufishaunt，ornonsensicaloldwoman，toconsultupontheoccasion，aswellasmyself:sonotcaringtointerrupttheprocess，anddeemingitmoregallanttotakeheratdiscretionthanbysurprise，IfacedaboutandtookashortturnortwobeforethedooroftheRemise，whilstshewalk"dmusingononeside。
INTHESTREET。CALAIS。
HAVING，onthefirstsightofthelady，settledtheaffairinmyfancy"thatshewasofthebetterorderofbeings；"-andthenlaiditdownasasecondaxiom，asindisputableasthefirst，thatshewasawidow，andworeacharacterofdistress，-Iwentnofurther；
Igotgroundenoughforthesituationwhichpleasedme；-andhadsheremainedclosebesidemyelbowtillmidnight，Ishouldhaveheldtruetomysystem，andconsideredheronlyunderthatgeneralidea。
Shehadscarcegottwentypacesdistantfromme，eresomethingwithinmecalledoutforamoreparticularenquiry；-itbroughtontheideaofafurtherseparation:-Imightpossiblyneverseehermore:-Theheartisforsavingwhatitcan；andIwantedthetracesthroughwhichmywishesmightfindtheirwaytoher，incaseIshouldneverrejoinhermyself；inaword，Iwishedtoknowhername，-herfamily"s-hercondition；andasIknewtheplacetowhichshewasgoing，Iwantedtoknowfromwhenceshecame:buttherewasnocomingatallthisintelligence；ahundredlittledelicaciesstoodintheway。Iform"dascoredifferentplans-
Therewasnosuchthingasaman"saskingherdirectly；-thethingwasimpossible。
AlittleFrenchDEBONNAIREcaptain，whocamedancingdownthestreet，showedmeitwastheeasiestthingintheworld:for，poppinginbetwixtus，justastheladywasreturningbacktothedooroftheRemise，heintroducedhimselftomyacquaintance，andbeforehehadwellgotannounced，begg"dIwoulddohimthehonourtopresenthimtothelady-Ihadnotbeenpresentedmyself；-soturningabouttoher，hediditjustaswell，byaskingherifshehadcomefromParis?No:shewasgoingthatroute，shesaid-
VOUSN"ETESPASDELONDRES?-Shewasnot，shereplied-ThenMadamemusthavecomethroughFlanders-APPAREMMENTVOUSETES
FLAMMANDE?saidtheFrenchcaptain-Theladyanswered，shewas-
PEUTETREDELISLE?addedhe-Shesaid，shewasnotofLisle-
NorArras?-norCambray?-norGhent?-norBrussels?-Sheanswered，shewasofBrussels。
Hehadhadthehonour，hesaid，tobeatthebombardmentofitlastwar；-thatitwasfinelysituated，POURCELA，-andfullofnoblessewhentheImperialistsweredrivenoutbytheFrench(theladymadeaslightcourtesy)-sogivingheranaccountoftheaffair，andofthesharehehadhadinit，-hebegg"dthehonourtoknowhername，-somadehisbow-
ETMADAMEASONMARI?-saidhe，lookingbackwhenhehadmadetwosteps，-and，withoutstayingforananswer-danceddownthestreet。
HadIservedsevenyearsapprenticeshiptogoodbreeding，Icouldnothavedoneasmuch。
THEREMISE。CALAIS。
ASthelittleFrenchcaptainleftus，Mons。DesseincameupwiththekeyoftheRemiseinhishand，andforthwithletusintohismagazineofchaises。
Thefirstobjectwhichcaughtmyeye，asMons。Desseinopen"dthedooroftheRemise，wasanotheroldtatter"dDESOBLIGEANT；andnotwithstandingitwastheexactpictureofthatwhichhadhitmyfancysomuchinthecoach-yardbutanhourbefore，-theverysightofitstirr"dupadisagreeablesensationwithinmenow；andIthought"twasachurlishbeastintowhosehearttheideacouldfirstenter，toconstructsuchamachine；norhadImuchmorecharityforthemanwhocouldthinkofusingit。
Iobservedtheladywasaslittletakenwithitasmyself:soMons。
Desseinledusontoacoupleofchaiseswhichstoodabreast，tellingus，asherecommendedthem，thattheyhadbeenpurchasedbymylordA。andB。togothegrandtour，buthadgonenofurtherthanParis，sowereinallrespectsasgoodasnew-Theyweretoogood；-soIpass"dontoathird，whichstoodbehind，andforthwithbeguntochafferfortheprice-But"twillscarceholdtwo，saidI，openingthedoorandgettingin-Havethegoodness，Madame，saidMons。Dessein，offeringhisarm，tostepin-Theladyhesitatedhalfasecond，andsteppedin；andthewaiterthatmomentbeckoningtospeaktoMon。Dessein，heshutthedoorofthechaiseuponus，andleftus。
THEREMISE。CALAIS。
C"ESTBIENCOMIQUE，"tisverydroll，saidthelady，smiling，fromthereflectionthatthiswasthesecondtimeweahadbeenlefttogetherbyaparcelofnonsensicalcontingencies，-C"ESTBIEN
COMIQUE，saidshe——
Therewantsnothing，saidI，tomakeitsobutthecomicusewhichthegallantryofaFrenchmanwouldputitto，-tomakelovethefirstmoment，andanofferofhispersonthesecond。
"TistheirFORT，repliedthelady。
Itissupposedsoatleast；-andhowithascometopass，continuedI，Iknownot；buttheyhavecertainlygotthecreditofunderstandingmoreoflove，andmakingitbetterthananyothernationuponearth；but，formyownpart，Ithinkthemarrantbunglers，andintruththeworstsetofmarksmenthatevertriedCupid"spatience-
TothinkofmakinglovebySENTIMENTS!
Ishouldassoonthinkofmakingagenteelsuitofclothesoutofremnants:-andtodoit-pop-atfirstsight，bydeclaration-
issubmittingtheoffer，andthemselveswithit，tobesiftedwithalltheirPOURSandCONTRES，byanunheatedmind。
TheladyattendedasifsheexpectedIshouldgoon。
Considerthen，Madame，continuedI，layingmyhanduponhers:-
Thatgravepeoplehateloveforthename"ssake；-
Thatselfishpeoplehateitfortheirown；-
Hypocritesforheaven"s；-
Andthatallofus，botholdandyoung，beingtentimesworsefrightenedthanhurtbytheveryREPORT，-whatawantofknowledgeinthisbranchofcommenceamanbetrays，whoeverletsthewordcomeoutofhislips，tillanhourortwo，atleast，afterthetimethathissilenceuponitbecomestormenting。Acourseofsmall，quietattentions，notsopointedastoalarm，-norsovagueastobemisunderstood-withnowandthenalookofkindness，andlittleornothingsaiduponit，-leavesnatureforyourmistress，andshefashionsittohermind-
ThenIsolemnlydeclare，saidthelady，blushing，youhavebeenmakinglovetomeallthiswhile。
THEREMISE。CALAIS。
MONSIEURDESSEINcamebacktoletusoutofthechaise，andacquaintthelady，thecountdeL-，herbrother，wasjustarrivedatthehotel。ThoughIhadinfinitegoodwillforthelady，I
cannotsaythatIrejoicedinmyheartattheevent-andcouldnothelptellingherso；-foritisfataltoaproposal，Madame，saidI，thatIwasgoingtomaketoyou——
Youneednottellmewhattheproposalwas，saidshe，layingherhanduponbothmine，assheinterruptedme-AmanmygoodSir，hasseldomanofferofkindnesstomaketoawoman，butshehasapresentimentofitsomemomentsbefore-
Naturearmsherwithit，saidI，forimmediatepreservation-ButIthink，saidshe，lookinginmyface，Ihadnoeviltoapprehend，-and，todealfranklywithyou，haddeterminedtoacceptit-IfI
had-(shestoppedamoment)-Ibelieveyourgoodwillwouldhavedrawnastoryfromme，whichwouldhavemadepitytheonlydangerousthinginthejourney。
Insayingthis，shesufferedmetokissherhandtwice，andwithalookofsensibilitymixedwithconcern，shegotoutofthechaise，-andbidadieu。
INTHESTREET。CALAIS。
INEVERfinishedatwelveguineabargainsoexpeditiouslyinmylife:mytimeseemedheavy，uponthelossofthelady，andknowingeverymomentofitwouldbeastwo，tillIputmyselfintomotion，-Iorderedposthorsesdirectly，andwalkedtowardsthehotel。
Lord!saidI，hearingthetownclockstrikefour，andrecollectingthatIhadbeenlittlemorethanasinglehourinCalais，——
Whatalargevolumeofadventuresmaybegraspedwithinthislittlespanoflifebyhimwhointerestshisheartineverything，andwho，havingeyestoseewhattimeandchanceareperpetuallyholdingouttohimashejourneyethonhisway，missesnothinghecanFAIRLYlayhishandson!-
Ifthiswon"tturnoutsomething，-anotherwill；-nomatter，-
"tisanassayuponhumannature-Igetmylabourformypains，-
"tisenough；-thepleasureoftheexperimenthaskeptmysensesandthebestpartofmybloodawake，andlaidthegrosstosleep。
IpitythemanwhocantravelfromDantoBeersheba，andcry，"Tisallbarren；-andsoitis:andsoisalltheworldtohimwhowillnotcultivatethefruitsitoffers。Ideclare，saidI，clappingmyhandscheerilytogether，thatwereIinadesert，Iwouldfindoutwherewithinittocallforthmyaffections:-ifIcouldnotdobetter，Iwouldfastenthemuponsomesweetmyrtle，orseeksomemelancholycypresstoconnectmyselfto；-Iwouldcourttheirshade，andgreetthemkindlyfortheirprotection-Iwouldcutmynameuponthem，andsweartheyweretheloveliesttreesthroughoutthedesert:iftheirleaveswither"d，Iwouldteachmyselftomourn；and，whentheyrejoiced，Iwouldrejoicealongwiththem。
ThelearnedSmelfungustravelledfromBoulognetoParis，-fromParistoRome，-andsoon；-buthesetoutwiththespleenandjaundice，andeveryobjecthepass"dbywasdiscolouredordistorted-Hewroteanaccountofthem，but"twasnothingbuttheaccountofhismiserablefeelings。
ImetSmelfungusinthegrandporticoofthePantheon:-hewasjustcomingoutofit-"TISNOTHINGBUTAHUGECOCKPIT，saidhe:-
IwishyouhadsaidnothingworseoftheVenusofMedicis，repliedI；-forinpassingthroughFlorence，Ihadheardhehadfallenfouluponthegoddess，andusedherworsethanacommonstrumpet，withouttheleastprovocationinnature。
Ipopp"duponSmelfungusagainatTurin，inhisreturnhome；andasadtaleofsorrowfuladventureshadhetotell，"whereinhespokeofmovingaccidentsbyfloodandfield，andofthecannibalsthateachothereat:theAnthropophagi:"-hehadbeenflayedalive，andbedevil"d，andusedworsethanSt。Bartholomew，ateverystagehehadcomeat——
I"lltellit，criedSmelfungus，totheworld。Youhadbettertellit，saidI，toyourphysician。
Mundungus，withanimmensefortune，madethewholetour；goingonfromRometoNaples，-fromNaplestoVenice，-fromVenicetoVienna，-toDresden，toBerlin，withoutonegenerousconnectionorpleasurableanecdotetotellof；buthehadtravell"dstraighton，lookingneithertohisrighthandnorhisleft，lestLoveorPityshouldseducehimoutofhisroad。
Peacebetothem!ifitistobefound；butheavenitself，wereitpossibletogettherewithsuchtempers，wouldwantobjectstogiveit；everygentlespiritwouldcomeflyinguponthewingsofLovetohailtheirarrival-NothingwouldthesoulsofSmelfungusandMundungushearof，butfreshanthemsofjoy，freshrapturesoflove，andfreshcongratulationsoftheircommonfelicity-I
heartilypitythem；theyhavebroughtupnofacultiesforthiswork；and，werethehappiestmansioninheaventobeallottedtoSmelfungusandMundungus，theywouldbesofarfrombeinghappy，thatthesoulsofSmelfungusandMundunguswoulddopenancetheretoalleternity!
MONTREUIL。
IHADoncelostmyportmanteaufrombehindmychaise，andtwicegotoutintherain，andoneofthetimesuptothekneesindirt，tohelpthepostiliontotieiton，withoutbeingabletofindoutwhatwaswanting-NorwasittillIgottoMontreuil，uponthelandlord"saskingmeifIwantednotaservant，thatitoccurredtome，thatthatwastheverything。
Aservant!ThatIdomostsadly，quothI-Because，Monsieur，saidthelandlord，thereisacleveryoungfellow，whowouldbeveryproudofthehonourtoserveanEnglishman-ButwhyanEnglishone，morethananyother?-Theyaresogenerous，saidthelandlord-I"llbeshotifthisisnotalivreoutofmypocket，quothItomyself，thisverynight-Buttheyhavewherewithaltobeso，Monsieur，addedhe-Setdownonelivremoreforthat，quothI-Itwasbutlastnight，saidthelandlord，QU"UNMILORD
ANGLOISPRESENTOITUNECUELAFILLEDECHAMBRE-TANTPISPOUR
MADEMOISELLEJANATONE，saidI。
NowJanatone，beingthelandlord"sdaughter，andthelandlordsupposingIwasyounginFrench，tookthelibertytoinformme，I
shouldnothavesaidTANTPIS-but，TANTMIEUX。TANTMIEUX，TOUJOURS，MONSIEUR，saidhe，whenthereisanythingtobegot-
TANTPIS，whenthereisnothing。Itcomestothesamething，saidI。PARDONNEZ-MOI，saidthelandlord。
Icannottakeafitteropportunitytoobserve，onceforall，thatTANTPISandTANTMIEUX，beingtwoofthegreathingesinFrenchconversation，astrangerwoulddowelltosethimselfrightintheuseofthem，beforehegetstoParis。
ApromptFrenchmarquisatourambassador"stabledemandedofMr。
H-，ifhewasH-thepoet?No，saidMr。H-，mildly-TANTPIS，repliedthemarquis。
ItisH-thehistorian，saidanother，-TANTMIEUX，saidthemarquis。AndMr。H-，whoisamanofanexcellentheart，return"dthanksforboth。
Whenthelandlordhadsetmerightinthismatter，hecalledinLaFleur，whichwasthenameoftheyoungmanhehadspokeof，-
sayingonlyfirst，Thatasforhistalentshewouldpresumetosaynothing，-Monsieurwasthebestjudgewhatwouldsuithim；butforthefidelityofLaFleurhewouldstandresponsibleinallhewasworth。
Thelandlorddeliver"dthisinamannerwhichinstantlysetmymindtothebusinessIwasupon；-andLaFleur，whostoodwaitingwithout，inthatbreathlessexpectationwhicheverysonofnatureofushavefeltinourturns，camein。
MONTREUIL。
IAMapttobetakenwithallkindsofpeopleatfirstsight；butnevermoresothanwhenapoordevilcomestoofferhisservicetosopooradevilasmyself；andasIknowthisweakness，Ialwayssuffermyjudgmenttodrawbacksomethingonthatveryaccount，-
andthismoreorless，accordingtothemoodIamin，andthecase；-
andImayadd，thegendertoo，ofthepersonIamtogovern。
WhenLaFleurenteredtheroom，aftereverydiscountIcouldmakeformysoul，thegenuinelookandairofthefellowdeterminedthematteratonceinhisfavour；soIhiredhimfirst，-andthenbegantoenquirewhathecoulddo:ButIshallfindouthistalents，quothI，asIwantthem，-besides，aFrenchmancandoeverything。
NowpoorLaFleurcoulddonothingintheworldbutbeatadrum，andplayamarchortwouponthefife。Iwasdeterminedtomakehistalentsdo；andcan"tsaymyweaknesswaseversoinsultedbymywisdomasintheattempt。
LaFleurhadsetoutearlyinlife，asgallantlyasmostFrenchmendo，withSERVINGforafewyears；attheendofwhich，havingsatisfiedthesentiment，andfound，moreover，Thatthehonourofbeatingadrumwaslikelytobeitsownreward，asitopen"dnofurthertrackofglorytohim，-heretiredESESTERRES，andlivedCOMMEILPLAISOITEDIEU；-thatistosay，uponnothing-
Andso，quothWisdom，youhavehiredadrummertoattendyouinthistourofyoursthroughFranceandItaly!-Psha!saidI，anddonotonehalfofourgentrygowithahumdrumCOMPAGNONDUVOYAGE
thesameround，andhavethepiperandthedevilandalltopaybesides?WhenmancanextricatehimselfwithanEQUIVOQUEinsuchanunequalmatch，-heisnotilloff-Butyoucandosomethingelse，LaFleur?saidI-OQU"OUI!hecouldmakespatterdashes，andplayalittleuponthefiddle-Bravo!saidWisdom-Why，I
playabassmyself，saidI；-weshalldoverywell。Youcanshave，anddressawigalittle，LaFleur?-Hehadallthedispositionsintheworld-Itisenoughforheaven!saidI，interruptinghim，-andoughttobeenoughforme-So，suppercomingin，andhavingafriskyEnglishspanielononesideofmychair，andaFrenchvalet，withasmuchhilarityinhiscountenanceaseverNaturepaintedinone，ontheother，-Iwassatisfiedtomyheart"scontentwithmyempire；andifmonarchsknewwhattheywouldbeat，theymightbeassatisfiedasIwas。
MONTREUIL。
ASLaFleurwentthewholetourofFranceandItalywithme，andwillbeoftenuponthestage，Imustinterestthereaderalittlefurtherinhisbehalf，bysaying，thatIhadneverlessreasontorepentoftheimpulseswhichgenerallydodetermineme，thaninregardtothisfellow；-hewasafaithful，affectionate，simplesoulasevertrudgedaftertheheelsofaphilosopher；and，notwithstandinghistalentsofdrumbeatingandspatterdash-making，which，thoughverygoodinthemselves，happenedtobeofnogreatservicetome，yetwasIhourlyrecompensedbythefestivityofhistemper；-itsuppliedalldefects:-Ihadaconstantresourceinhislooksinalldifficultiesanddistressesofmyown-Iwasgoingtohaveaddedofhistoo；butLaFleurwasoutofthereachofeverything；for，whether"twashungerorthirst，orcoldornakedness，orwatchings，orwhateverstripesofillluckLaFleurmetwithinourjourneyings，therewasnoindexinhisphysiognomytopointthemoutby，-hewaseternallythesame；sothatifIamapieceofaphilosopher，whichSatannowandthenputsitintomyheadIam，-italwaysmortifiestheprideoftheconceit，byreflectinghowmuchIowetothecomplexionalphilosophyofthispoorfellow，forshamingmeintooneofabetterkind。Withallthis，LaFleurhadasmallcastofthecoxcomb，-butheseemedatfirstsighttobemoreacoxcombofnaturethanofart；and，beforeIhadbeenthreedaysinPariswithhim，-heseemedtobenocoxcombatall。
MONTREUIL。
THEnextmorning，LaFleurenteringuponhisemployment，I
deliveredtohimthekeyofmyportmanteau，withaninventoryofmyhalfadozenshirtsandsilkpairofbreeches，andbidhimfastenalluponthechaise，-getthehorsesputto，-anddesirethelandlordtocomeinwithhisbill。
C"ESTUNGARCONDEBONNEFORTUNE，saidthelandlord，pointingthroughthewindowtohalfadozenwencheswhohadgotroundaboutLaFleur，andweremostkindlytakingtheirleaveofhim，asthepostilionwasleadingoutthehorses。LaFleurkissedalltheirhandsroundandroundagain，andthricehewipedhiseyes，andthricehepromisedhewouldbringthemallpardonsfromRome-
Theyoungfellow，saidthelandlord，isbelovedbyallthetown，andthereisscarceacornerinMontreuilwherethewantofhimwillnotbefelt:hehasbutonemisfortuneintheworld，continuedhe，"heisalwaysinlove。"-Iamheartilygladofit，saidI，-
"twillsavemethetroubleeverynightofputtingmybreechesundermyhead。Insayingthis，IwasmakingnotsomuchLaFleur"selogeasmyown，havingbeeninlovewithoneprincessoranotheralmostallmylife，andIhopeIshallgoonsotillIdie，beingfirmlypersuaded，thatifeverIdoameanaction，itmustbeinsomeintervalbetwixtonepassionandanother:whilstthisinterregnumlasts，Ialwaysperceivemyheartlockedup，-IcanscarcefindinittogiveMiseryasixpence；andthereforeIalwaysgetoutofitasfastasIcan-andthemomentIamrekindled，Iamallgenerosityandgood-willagain；andwoulddoanythingintheworld，eitherfororwithanyone，iftheywillbutsatisfymethereisnosininit-
Butinsayingthis，-sureIamcommandingthepassion，-notmyself。
AFRAGMENT-
THEtownofAbdera，notwithstandingDemocrituslivedthere，tryingallthepowersofironyandlaughtertoreclaimit，wasthevilestandmostprofligatetowninallThrace。Whatforpoisons，conspiracies，andassassinations，-libels，pasquinades，andtumults，therewasnogoingtherebyday-"twasworsebynight。
Now，whenthingswereattheworst，itcametopassthattheAndromedaofEuripidesbeingrepresentedatAbdera，thewholeorchestrawasdelightedwithit:butofallthepassageswhichdelightedthem，nothingoperatedmoreupontheirimaginationsthanthetenderstrokesofnaturewhichthepoethadwroughtupinthatpatheticspeechofPerseus，OCUPID，PRINCEOFGODSANDMEN!&c。
Everymanalmostspokepureiambicsthenextday，andtalkedofnothingbutPerseushispatheticaddress，-"OCUPID!PRINCEOF
GODSANDMEN!"-ineverystreetofAbdera，ineveryhouse，"O
Cupid!Cupid!"-ineverymouth，likethenaturalnotesofsomesweetmelodywhichdropfromit，whetheritwillorno，-nothingbut"Cupid!Cupid!princeofgodsandmen!"-Thefirecaught-andthewholecity，liketheheartofoneman，open"ditselftoLove。
Nopharmacopolistcouldsellonegrainofhellebore，-notasinglearmourerhadahearttoforgeoneinstrumentofdeath；-FriendshipandVirtuemettogether，andkiss"deachotherinthestreet；thegoldenagereturned，andhungoverthetownofAbdera-everyAbderitetookhiseatenpipe，andeveryAbderitishwomanleftherpurpleweb，andchastelysatherdownandlistenedtothesong。
"Twasonlyinthepower，saystheFragment，oftheGodwhoseempireextendethfromheaventoearth，andeventothedepthsofthesea，tohavedonethis。
MONTREUIL。
WHENallisready，andeveryarticleisdisputedandpaidforintheinn，unlessyouarealittlesour"dbytheadventure，thereisalwaysamattertocompoundatthedoor，beforeyoucangetintoyourchaise；andthatiswiththesonsanddaughtersofpoverty，whosurroundyou。Letnomansay，"Letthemgotothedevil!"-
"tisacrueljourneytosendafewmiserables，andtheyhavehadsufferingsenowwithoutit:Ialwaysthinkitbettertotakeafewsousoutinmyhand；andIwouldcounseleverygentletravellertodosolikewise:heneednotbesoexactinsettingdownhismotivesforgivingthem；-Theywillberegisteredelsewhere。
Formyownpart，thereisnomangivessolittleasIdo；forfew，thatIknow，havesolittletogive；butasthiswasthefirstpublicactofmycharityinFrance，Itookthemorenoticeofit。
Awell-a-way!saidI，-Ihavebuteightsousintheworld，showingtheminmyhand，andthereareeightpoormenandeightpoorwomenfor"em。
Apoortatter"dsoul，withoutashirton，instantlywithdrewhisclaim，byretiringtwostepsoutofthecircle，andmakingadisqualifyingbowonhispart。HadthewholePARTERREcriedout，PLACEAUXDAMES，withonevoice，itwouldnothaveconveyedthesentimentofadeferenceforthesexwithhalftheeffect。
JustHeaven!forwhatwisereasonshastthouorderedit，thatbeggaryandurbanity，whichareatsuchvarianceinothercountries，shouldfindawaytobeatunityinthis?-
Iinsisteduponpresentinghimwithasinglesous，merelyforhisPOLITESSE。
Apoorlittledwarfishbriskfellow，whostoodoveragainstmeinthecircle，puttingsomethingfirstunderhisarm，whichhadoncebeenahat，tookhissnuff-boxoutofhispocket，andgenerouslyoffer"dapinchonbothsidesofhim:itwasagiftofconsequence，andmodestlydeclined-Thepoorlittlefellowpressedituponthemwithanodofwelcomeness-PRENEZEN-PRENEZ，saidhe，lookinganotherway；sotheyeachtookapinch-Pitythyboxshouldeverwantone!saidItomyself；soIputacoupleofsousintoit-takingasmallpinchoutofhisbox，toenhancetheirvalue，asIdidit。Hefelttheweightofthesecondobligationmorethanofthefirst，-"twasdoinghimanhonour，-theotherwasonlydoinghimacharity；-andhemademeabowdowntothegroundforit。