第14章
Eyes，openingfromthedarknessofdesire，eyesthatdimmedthebreakingeast。Whatwastheirlanguidgracebutthesoftnessofchambering？AndwhatwastheirshimmerbuttheshimmerofthescumthatmantledthecesspoolofthecourtofaslobberingStuart。Andhetastedinthelanguageofmemoryamberedwines，dyingfallingsofsweetairs，theproudpavan，andsawwiththeeyesofmemorykindgentlewomeninCoventGardenwooingfromtheirbalconieswithsuckingmouthsandthepox-fouledwenchesofthetavernsandyoungwivesthat，gailyyieldingtotheirravishers，clippedandclippedagain。
Theimageshehadsummonedgavehimnopleasure。Theyweresecretandinflamingbutherimagewasnotentangledbythem。Thatwasnotthewaytothinkofher。Itwasnoteventhewayinwhichhethoughtofher。Couldhismindthennottrustitself？Oldphrases，sweetonlywithadisinterredsweetnesslikethefigseedsCranlyrootedoutofhisgleamingteeth。
Itwasnotthoughtnorvisionthoughheknewvaguelythatherfigurewaspassinghomewardthroughthecity。Vaguelyfirstandthenmoresharplyhesmeltherbody。Aconsciousunrestseethedinhisblood。Yes，itwasherbodyhesmelt，awildandlanguidsmell，thetepidlimbsoverwhichhismusichadfloweddesirouslyandthesecretsoftlinenuponwhichherfleshdistilledodourandadew。
Alousecrawledoverthenapeofhisneckand，puttinghisthumbandforefingerdeftlybeneathhisloosecollar，hecaughtit。Herolleditsbody，tenderyetbrittleasagrainofrice，betweenthumbandfingerforaninstantbeforeheletitfallfromhimandwonderedwoulditliveordie。TherecametohismindacuriousphrasefromCorneliusà；LapidewhichsaidthatthelicebornofhumansweatwerenotcreatedbyGodwiththeotheranimalsonthesixthday。Buttheticklingoftheskinofhisneckmadehismindrawandred。Thelifeofhisbody，illclad，illfed，louse-eaten，madehimclosehiseyelidsinasuddenspasmofdespairandinthedarknesshesawthebrittlebrightbodiesoflicefallingfromtheairandturningoftenastheyfell。Yes，anditwasnotdarknessthatfellfromtheair。Itwasbrightness。Brightnessfallsfromtheair。HehadnotevenrememberedrightlyNash"sline。Alltheimagesithadawakenedwerefalse。Hismindbredvermin。Histhoughtswerelicebornofthesweatofsloth。
Hecamebackquicklyalongthecolonnadetowardsthegroupofstudents。
Wellthen，lethergoandbedamnedtoher!Shecouldlovesomecleanathletewhowashedhimselfeverymorningtothewaistandhadblackhaironhischest。Lether。
Cranlyhadtakenanotherdriedfigfromthesupplyinhispocketandwaseatingitslowlyandnoisily。Templesatonthepedimentofapillar，leaningback，hiscappulleddownonhissleepyeyes。Asquatyoungmancameoutoftheporch，aleatherportfoliotuckedunderhisarmpit。Hemarchedtowardsthegroup，strikingtheflagswiththeheelsofhisbootsandwiththeferruleofhisheavyumbrella。Then，raisingtheumbrellainsalute，hesaidtoall:——
Goodevening，sirs。
Hestrucktheflagsagainandtitteredwhilehisheadtrembledwithaslightnervousmovement。ThetallconsumptivestudentandDixonandO"KeeffewerespeakinginIrishanddidnotanswerhim。Then，turningtoCranly，hesaid:——
Goodevening，particularlytoyou。
Hemovedtheumbrellainindicationandtitteredagain。Cranly，whowasstillchewingthefig，answeredwithloudmovementsofhisjaws——
Good？Yes。Itisagoodevening。
Thesquatstudentlookedathimseriouslyandshookhisumbrellagentlyandreprovingly——
Icansee，hesaid，thatyouareabouttomakeobviousremarks——
Um，Cranlyanswered，holdingoutwhatremainedofthehalfchewedfigandjerkingittowardsthesquatstudent"smouthinsignthatheshouldeat。
Thesquatstudentdidnoteatitbut，indulginghisspecialhumour，saidgravely，stilltitteringandproddinghisphrasewithhisumbrella:——
Doyouintendthat？
Hebrokeoff，pointedbluntlytothemunchedpulpofthefig，andsaidloudly:——
Ialludetothat。
Um，Cranlysaidasbefore——
Doyouintendthatnow，thesquatstudentsaid，asipsofactoor，letussay，assotospeak？
Dixonturnedasidefromhisgroup，saying:——
Gogginswaswaitingforyou，Glynn。HehasgoneroundtotheAdelphitolookforyouandMoynihan。Whathaveyouthere？heasked，tappingtheportfoliounderGlynn"sarm——
Examinationpapers，Glynnanswered。Igivethemmonthlyexaminationstoseethattheyareprofitingbymytuition。
Healsotappedtheportfolioandcoughedgentlyandsmiled——
Tuition!saidCranlyrudely。Isupposeyoumeanthebarefootedchildrenthataretaughtbyabloodyapelikeyou。Godhelpthem!
Hebitofftherestofthefigandflungawaythebutt——
Isufferlittlechildrentocomeuntome，Glynnsaidamiably——
Abloodyape，Cranlyrepeatedwithemphasis，andablasphemousbloodyape!
Templestoodupand，pushingpastCranly，addressedGlynn:——
Thatphraseyousaidnow，hesaid，isfromthenewtestamentaboutsufferthechildrentocometome——
Gotosleepagain，Temple，saidO"Keeffe——
Verywell，then，Templecontinued，stilladdressingGlynn，andifJesussufferedthechildrentocomewhydoesthechurchsendthemalltohelliftheydieunbaptized？Whyisthat？——
Wereyoubaptizedyourself，Temple？theconsumptivestudentasked——
ButwhyaretheysenttohellifJesussaidtheywerealltocome？
Templesaid，hiseyessearchingGlynn"seyes。
Glynncoughedandsaidgently，holdingbackwithdifficultythenervoustitterinhisvoiceandmovinghisumbrellaateveryword:——
And，asyouremark，ifitisthus，Iaskemphaticallywhencecomesthisthusness——
Becausethechurchiscruellikealloldsinners，Templesaid——
Areyouquiteorthodoxonthatpoint，Temple？Dixonsaidsuavely——
SaintAugustinesaysthataboutunbaptizedchildrengoingtohell，Templeanswered，becausehewasacrueloldsinnertoo——
Ibowtoyou，Dixonsaid，butIhadtheimpressionthatlimboexistedforsuchcases——
Don"targuewithhim，Dixon，Cranlysaidbrutally。Don"ttalktohimorlookathim。Leadhimhomewithasuganthewayyou"dleadableatinggoat——
Limbo!Templecried。That"safineinventiontoo。Likehell——
Butwiththeunpleasantnessleftout，Dixonsaid。Heturnedsmilingtotheothersandsaid:——
IthinkIamvoicingtheopinionsofallpresentinsayingsomuch-
Youare，Glynnsaidinafirmtone。OnthatpointIrelandisunited。
Hestrucktheferruleofhisumbrellaonthestonefloorofthecolonnade——
Hell，Templesaid。IcanrespectthatinventionofthegreyspouseofSatan。HellisRoman，likethewallsoftheRomans，strongandugly。
Butwhatislimbo？——
Puthimbackintotheperambulator，Cranly，O"Keeffecalledout。
CranlymadeaswiftsteptowardsTemple，halted，stampinghisfoot，cryingasiftoafowl:——
Hoosh!
Templemovedawaynimbly——
Doyouknowwhatlimbois？hecried。DoyouknowwhatwecallanotionlikethatinRoscommon？——
Hoosh!Blastyou!Cranlycried，clappinghishands——
Neithermyarsenormyelbow!Templecriedoutscornfully。Andthat"swhatIcalllimbo——
Giveusthatstickhere，Cranlysaid。
HesnatchedtheashplantroughlyfromStephen"shandandsprangdownthesteps:butTemple，hearinghimmoveinpursuit，fledthroughthedusklikeawildcreature，nimbleandfleet-footed。Cranly"sheavybootswereheardloudlychargingacrossthequadrangleandthenreturningheavily，foiledandspurningthegravelateachstep。
HisstepwasangryandwithanangryabruptgesturehethrustthestickbackintoStephen"shand。Stephenfeltthathisangerhadanothercausebut，feigningpatience，touchedhisarmslightlyandsaidquietly:——
Cranly，ItoldyouIwantedtospeaktoyou。Comeaway。Cranlylookedathimforafewmomentsandasked:——
Now？——
Yes，now，Stephensaid。Wecan"tspeakhere。Comeaway。
Theycrossedthequadrangletogetherwithoutspeaking。ThebirdcallfromSigfriedwhistledsoftlyfollowedthemfromthestepsoftheporch。Cranlyturned，andDixon，whohadwhistled，calledout:——
Whereareyoufellowsoffto？Whataboutthatgame，Cranly？
TheyparleyedinshoutsacrossthestillairaboutagameofbilliardstobeplayedintheAdelphihotel。StephenwalkedonaloneandoutintothequietofKildareStreetoppositeMaple"shotelhestoodtowait，patientagain。Thenameofthehotel，acolourlesspolishedwood，anditscolourlessfrontstunghimlikeaglanceofpolitedisdain。Hestaredangrilybackatthesoftlylitdrawing-roomofthehotelinwhichheimaginedthesleeklivesofthepatriciansofIrelandhousedincalm。Theythoughtofarmycommissionsandlandagents:peasantsgreetedthemalongtheroadsinthecountry；theyknewthenamesofcertainFrenchdishesandgaveorderstojarviesinhigh-pitchedprovincialvoiceswhichpiercedthroughtheirskin-tightaccents。
Howcouldhehittheirconscienceorhowcasthisshadowovertheimaginationsoftheirdaughters，beforetheirsquiresbegatuponthem，thattheymightbreedaracelessignoblethantheirown？Andunderthedeepenedduskhefeltthethoughtsanddesiresoftheracetowhichhebelongedflittinglikebatsacrossthedarkcountrylanes，undertreesbytheedgesofstreamsandnearthepool-mottledbogs。AwomanhadwaitedinthedoorwayasDavinhadpassedbyatnightand，offeringhimacupofmilk，hadallbutwooedhimtoherbed；forDavinhadthemildeyesofonewhocouldbesecret。
Buthimnowoman"seyeshadwooed。
HisarmwastakeninastronggripandCranly"svoicesaid:——
Letusekego。
Theywalkedsouthwardinsilence。ThenCranlysaid:——
Thatblitheringidiot，Temple!IsweartoMoses，doyouknow，thatI"llbethedeathofthatfellowonetime。
buthisvoicewasnolongerangryandStephenwonderedwashethinkingofhergreetingtohimundertheporch。
Theyturnedtotheleftandwalkedonasbefore。WhentheyhadgoneonsoforsometimeStephensaid:——
Cranly，Ihadanunpleasantquarrelthisevening——
Withyourpeople？Cranlyasked——
Withmymother——
Aboutreligion？——
Yes，Stephenanswered。
AfterapauseCranlyasked:——
Whatageisyourmother？——
Notold，Stephensaid。Shewishesmetomakemyeasterduty——
Andwillyou？——
Iwillnot，Stephensaid——
Whynot？Cranlysaid——
Iwillnotserve，answeredStephen——
Thatremarkwasmadebefore，Cranlysaidcalmly——
Itismadebehindnow，saidStephenhotly。
CranlypressedStephen"sarm，saying:——
Goeasy，mydearman。You"reanexcitablebloodyman，doyouknow。
Helaughednervouslyashespokeand，lookingupintoStephen"sfacewithmovedandfriendlyeyes，said:——
Doyouknowthatyouareanexcitableman？——
IdaresayIam，saidStephen，laughingalso。
Theirminds，latelyestranged，seemedsuddenlytohavebeendrawncloser，onetotheother——
Doyoubelieveintheeucharist？Cranlyasked——
Idonot，Stephensaid——
Doyoudisbelievethen？——
Ineitherbelieveinitnordisbelieveinit，Stephenanswered——
Manypersonshavedoubts，evenreligiouspersons，yettheyovercomethemorputthemaside，Cranlysaid。Areyourdoubtsonthatpointtoostrong？——
Idonotwishtoovercomethem，Stephenanswered。
Cranly，embarrassedforamoment，tookanotherfigfromhispocketandwasabouttoeatitwhenStephensaid:——
Don"t，please。Youcannotdiscussthisquestionwithyourmouthfullofchewedfig。
Cranlyexaminedthefigbythelightofalampunderwhichhehalted。
Thenhesmeltitwithbothnostrils，bitatinypiece，spatitoutandthrewthefigrudelyintothegutter。
Addressingitasitlay，hesaid:——
Departfromme，yecursed，intoeverlastingfire!TakingStephen"sarms，hewentonagainandsaid:——
DoyounotfearthatthosewordsmaybespokentoyouonthedayofJudgement？——
Whatisofferedmeontheotherhand？Stephenasked。Aneternityofblissinthecompanyofthedeanofstudies？——
Remember，Cranlysaid，thathewouldbeglorified——
Ay，Stephensaidsomewhatbitterly，bright，agile，impassibleand，aboveall，subtle——
Itisacuriousthing，doyouknow，Cranlysaiddispassionately，howyourmindissupersaturatedwiththereligioninwhichyousayyoudisbelieve。Didyoubelieveinitwhenyouwereatschool？Ibetyoudid——
Idid，Stephenanswered——
Andwereyouhappierthen？Cranlyaskedsoftly，happierthanyouarenow，forinstance？——
Oftenhappy，Stephensaid，andoftenunhappy。Iwassomeoneelsethen——
Howsomeoneelse？Whatdoyoumeanbythatstatement？——
Imean，saidStephen，thatIwasnotmyselfasIamnow，asIhadtobecome——
Notasyouarenow，notasyouhadtobecome，Cranlyrepeated。Letmeaskyouaquestion。Doyouloveyourmother？
Stephenshookhisheadslowly——
Idon"tknowwhatyourwordsmean，hesaidsimply——
Haveyouneverlovedanyone？Cranlyasked——
Doyoumeanwomen？——
Iamnotspeakingofthat，Cranlysaidinacoldertone。Iaskyouifyoueverfeltlovetowardsanyoneoranything？
Stephenwalkedonbesidehisfriend，staringgloomilyatthefootpath——
ItriedtoloveGod，hesaidatlength。ItseemsnowIfailed。Itisverydifficult。ItriedtounitemywillwiththewillofGodinstantbyinstant。InthatIdidnotalwaysfail。Icouldperhapsdothatstill——
Cranlycuthimshortbyasking:——
Hasyourmotherhadahappylife？——
HowdoIknow？Stephensaid——
Howmanychildrenhadshe？——
Nineorten，Stephenanswered。Somedied——
WasyourfatherCranlyinterruptedhimselfforaninstant，andthensaid:Idon"twanttopryintoyourfamilyaffairs。Butwasyourfatherwhatiscalledwell-to-do？Imean，whenyouweregrowingup？——
Yes，Stephensaid——
Whatwashe？Cranlyaskedafterapause。
Stephenbegantoenumerategliblyhisfather"sattributes——
Amedicalstudent，anoarsman，atenor，anamateuractor，ashoutingpolitician，asmalllandlord，asmallinvestor，adrinker，agoodfellow，astory-teller，somebody"ssecretary，somethinginadistillery，atax-gatherer，abankruptandatpresentapraiserofhisownpast。
Cranlylaughed，tighteninghisgriponStephen"sarm，andsaid:——
Thedistilleryisdamngood——
Isthereanythingelseyouwanttoknow？Stephenasked——
Areyouingoodcircumstancesatpresent？——
Do，lookit？Stephenaskedbluntly——
Sothen，Cranlywentonmusingly，youwereborninthelapofluxury。
Heusedthephrasebroadlyandloudlyasheoftenusedtechnicalexpressions，asifhewishedhishearertounderstandthattheywereusedbyhimwithoutconviction——
Yourmothermusthavegonethroughagooddealofsuffering，hesaidthen。Wouldyounottrytosaveherfromsufferingmoreeveniforwouldyou？——
IfIcould，Stephensaid，thatwouldcostmeverylittle——
Thendoso，Cranlysaid。Doasshewishesyoutodo。Whatisitforyou？Youdisbelieveinit。Itisaform:nothingelse。Andyouwillsethermindatrest。
Heceasedand，asStephendidnotreply，remainedsilent。Then，asifgivingutterancetotheprocessofhisownthought，hesaid:——
Whateverelseisunsureinthisstinkingdunghillofaworldamother"sloveisnot。Yourmotherbringsyouintotheworld，carriesyoufirstinherbody。Whatdoweknowaboutwhatshefeels？Butwhatevershefeels，it，atleast，mustbereal。Itmustbe。Whatareourideasorambitions？
Play。Ideas!Why，thatbloodybleatinggoatTemplehasideas。MacCannhasideastoo。Everyjackassgoingtheroadsthinkshehasideas。
Stephen，whohadbeenlisteningtotheunspokenspeechbehindthewords，saidwithassumedcarelessness:——
Pascal，ifIrememberrightly，wouldnotsufferhismothertokisshimashefearedthecontactofhersex——
Pascalwasapig，saidCranly——
AloysiusGonzaga，Ithink，wasofthesamemind，Stephensaid——
Andhewasanotherpigthen，saidCranly——
Thechurchcallshimasaint，Stephenobjected-
Idon"tcareaflamingdamnwhatanyonecallshim，Cranlysaidrudelyandflatly。Icallhimapig。
Stephen，preparingthewordsneatlyinhismind，continued:——
Jesus，too，seemstohavetreatedhismotherwithscantcourtesyinpublicbutSuarez，ajesuittheologianandSpanishgentleman，hasapologizedforhim——
Didtheideaeveroccurtoyou，Cranlyasked，thatJesuswasnotwhathepretendedtobe？——
Thefirstpersontowhomthatideaoccurred，Stephenanswered，wasJesushimself——
Imean，Cranlysaid，hardeninginhisspeech，didtheideaeveroccurtoyouthathewashimselfaconscioushypocrite，whathecalledthejewsofhistime，awhitedsepulchre？Or，toputitmoreplainly，thathewasablackguard？——
Thatideaneveroccurredtome，Stephenanswered。ButIamcurioustoknowareyoutryingtomakeaconvertofmeorapervertofyourself？
Heturnedtowardshisfriend"sfaceandsawtherearawsmilewhichsomeforceofwillstrovetomakefinelysignificant。
Cranlyaskedsuddenlyinaplainsensibletone:——
Tellmethetruth。WereyouatallshockedbywhatIsaid？——
Somewhat，Stephensaid——
Andwhywereyoushocked，Cranlypressedoninthesametone，ifyoufeelsurethatourreligionisfalseandthatJesuswasnotthesonofGod？——
Iamnotatallsureofit，Stephensaid。HeismorelikeasonofGodthanasonofMary——
Andisthatwhyyouwillnotcommunicate，Cranlyasked，becauseyouarenotsureofthattoo，becauseyoufeelthatthehost，too，maybethebodyandbloodofthesonofGodandnotawaferofbread？Andbecauseyoufearthatitmaybe？——
Yes，Stephensaidquietly，IfeelthatandIalsofearit——
Isee，Cranlysaid。
Stephen，struckbyhistoneofclosure，reopenedthediscussionatoncebysaying:——
Ifearmanythings:dogs，horses，fire-arms，thesea，thunder-storms，machinery，thecountryroadsatnight——
Butwhydoyoufearabitofbread？——
Iimagine，Stephensaid，thatthereisamalevolentrealitybehindthosethingsIsayIfear——
Doyoufearthen，Cranlyasked，thattheGodoftheRomancatholicswouldstrikeyoudeadanddamnyouifyoumadeasacrilegiouscommunion？——
TheGodoftheRomancatholicscoulddothatnow，Stephensaid。I
fearmorethanthatthechemicalactionwhichwouldbesetupinmysoulbyafalsehomagetoasymbolbehindwhicharemassedtwentycenturiesofauthorityandveneration——
Wouldyou，Cranlyasked，inextremedanger，committhatparticularsacrilege？Forinstance，ifyoulivedinthepenaldays？——
Icannotanswerforthepast，Stephenreplied。Possiblynot——
Then，saidCranly，youdonotintendtobecomeaprotestant？——
IsaidthatIhadlostthefaith，Stephenanswered，butnotthatIhadlostself-respect。Whatkindofliberationwouldthatbetoforsakeanabsurditywhichislogicalandcoherentandtoembraceonewhichisillogicalandincoherent？
TheyhadwalkedontowardsthetownshipofPembrokeandnow，astheywentonslowlyalongtheavenues，thetreesandthescatteredlightsinthevillassoothedtheirminds。Theairofwealthandreposediffusedaboutthemseemedtocomforttheirneediness。Behindahedgeoflaurelalightglimmeredinthewindowofakitchenandthevoiceofaservantwasheardsingingasshesharpenedknives。Shesang，inshortbrokenbars:RosieO"Grady。Cranlystoppedtolisten，saying:——Muliercantat。ThesoftbeautyoftheLatinwordtouchedwithanenchantingtouchthedarkoftheevening，withatouchfainterandmorepersuadingthanthetouchofmusicorofawoman"shand。Thestrifeoftheirmindswasquelled。
Thefigureofawomanassheappearsintheliturgyofthechurchpassedsilentlythroughthedarkness:awhite-robedfigure，smallandslenderasaboy，andwithafallinggirdle。Hervoice，frailandhighasaboy"s，washeardintoningfromadistantchoirthefirstwordsofawomanwhichpiercethegloomandclamourofthefirstchantingofthepassion:EttucumJesuGalilaeoeras。Andallheartsweretouchedandturnedtohervoice，shininglikeayoungstar，shiningclearerasthevoiceintonedthepro-paroxytoneandmorefaintlyasthecadencedied。
Thesingingceased。Theywentontogether，Cranlyrepeatinginstronglystressedrhythmtheendoftherefrain:Andwhenwearemarried，O，howhappywe"llbeForIlovesweetRosieO"GradyAndRosieO"Gradylovesme——There"srealpoetryforyou，hesaid。There"sreallove。
HeglancedsidewaysatStephenwithastrangesmileandsaid:——
Doyouconsiderthatpoetry？Ordoyouknowwhatthewordsmean？——
IwanttoseeRosiefirst，saidStephen——
She"seasytofind，Cranlysaid。
Hishathadcomedownonhisforehead。HeshoveditbackandintheshadowofthetreesStephensawhispaleface，framedbythedark，andhislargedarkeyes。Yes。Hisfacewashandsomeandhisbodywasstrongandhard。Hehadspokenofamother"slove。Hefeltthenthesufferingsofwomen，theweaknessesoftheirbodiesandsouls；andwouldshieldthemwithastrongandresolutearmandbowhismindtothem。
Awaythen:itistimetogo。AvoicespokesoftlytoStephen"slonelyheart，biddinghimgoandtellinghimthathisfriendshipwascomingtoanend。Yes；hewouldgo。Hecouldnotstriveagainstanother。Heknewhispart——
ProbablyIshallgoaway，hesaid——
Where？Cranlyasked——
WhereIcan，Stephensaid——
Yes，Cranlysaid。Itmightbedifficultforyoutoliveherenow。
Butisitthatmakesyougo？——
Ihavetogo，Stephenanswered——
Because，Cranlycontinued，youneednotlookuponyourselfasdrivenawayifyoudonotwishtogoorasahereticoranoutlaw。Therearemanygoodbelieverswhothinkasyoudo。Wouldthatsurpriseyou？Thechurchisnotthestonebuildingnoreventheclergyandtheirdogmas。Itisthewholemassofthosebornintoit。Idon"tknowwhatyouwishtodoinlife。
IsitwhatyoutoldmethenightwewerestandingoutsideHarcourtStreetstation？——
Yes，Stephensaid，smilinginspiteofhimselfatCranly"swayofrememberingthoughtsinconnexionwithplaces。ThenightyouspenthalfanhourwranglingwithDohertyabouttheshortestwayfromSallygaptoLarras——
Pothead!Cranlysaidwithcalmcontempt。WhatdoesheknowaboutthewayfromSallygaptoLarras？Orwhatdoesheknowaboutanythingforthatmatter？Andthebigslobberingwashing-potheadofhim!
Hebrokeintoaloudlonglaugh——
Well？Stephensaid。Doyouremembertherest？
Whatyousaid，isit？Cranlyasked。Yes，Irememberit。Todiscoverthemodeoflifeorofartwherebyyourspiritcouldexpressitselfinunfetteredfreedom。
Stephenraisedhishatinacknowledgement——
Freedom!Cranlyrepeated。Butyouarenotfreeenoughyettocommitasacrilege。Tellmewouldyourob？——
Iwouldbegfirst，Stephensaid——
Andifyougotnothing，wouldyourob？——
Youwishmetosay，Stephenanswered，thattherightsofpropertyareprovisional，andthatincertaincircumstancesitisnotunlawfultorob。Everyonewouldactinthatbelief。SoIwillnotmakeyouthatanswer。
Applytothejesuittheologian，JuanMarianadeTalavera，whowillalsoexplaintoyouinwhatcircumstancesyoumaylawfullyKillyourKingandwhetheryouhadbetterhandhimhispoisoninagobletorsmearitforhimuponhisrobeorhissaddlebow。AskmeratherwouldIsufferotherstorobme，oriftheydid，wouldIcalldownuponthemwhatIbelieveiscalledthechastisementoftheseculararm？——
Andwouldyou？——
Ithink，Stephensaid，itwouldpainmeasmuchtodosoastoberobbed——
Isee，Cranlysaid。
Heproducedhismatchandbegantocleanthecrevicebetweentwoteeth。
Thenhesaidcarelessly:——
Tellme，forexample，wouldyoudefloweravirgin？——
Excuseme，Stephensaidpolitely，isthatnottheambitionofmostyounggentlemen？——
Whatthenisyourpointofview？Cranlyasked。
Hislastphrase，soursmellingasthesmokeofcharcoalanddisheartening，excitedStephen"sbrain，overwhichitsfumesseemedtobrood——
Lookhere，Cranly，hesaid。YouhaveaskedmewhatIwoulddoandwhatIwouldnotdo。IwilltellyouwhatIwilldoandwhatIwillnotdo。IwillnotservethatinwhichInolongerbelieve，whetheritcallitselfmyhome，myfatherland，ormychurch:andIwilltrytoexpressmyselfinsomemodeoflifeorartasfreelyasIcanandaswhollyasIcan，usingformydefencetheonlyarmsIallowmyselftouse-silence，exile，andcunning。
CranlyseizedhisarmandsteeredhimroundsoastoleadhimbacktowardsLeesonPark。HelaughedalmostslylyandpressedStephen"sarmwithanelder"saffection——
Cunningindeed!hesaid。Isityou？Youpoorpoet，you!——
Andyoumademeconfesstoyou，Stephensaid，thrilledbyhistouch，asIhaveconfessedtoyousomanyotherthings，haveInot？——
Yes，mychild，Cranlysaid，stillgaily——
YoumademeconfessthefearsthatIhave。ButIwilltellyoualsowhatIdonotfear。IdonotfeartobealoneortobespurnedforanotherortoleavewhateverIhavetoleave。AndIamnotafraidtomakeamistake，evenagreatmistake，alifelongmistake，andperhapsaslongaseternitytoo。
Cranly，nowgraveagain，slowedhispaceandsaid:——
Alone，quitealone。Youhavenofearofthat。Andyouknowwhatthatwordmeans？Notonlytobeseparatefromallothersbuttohavenotevenonefriend——
Iwilltaketherisk，saidStephen——
Andnottohaveanyoneperson，Cranlysaid，whowouldbemorethanafriend，moreeventhanthenoblestandtruestfriendamaneverhad。
Hiswordsseemedtohavestrucksomedeepchordinhisownnature。Hadhespokenofhimself，ofhimselfashewasorwishedtobe？Stephenwatchedhisfaceforsomemomentsinsilence。Acoldsadnesswasthere。Hehadspokenofhimself，ofhisownlonelinesswhichhefeared——
Ofwhomareyouspeaking？Stephenaskedatlength。Cranlydidnotanswer。
March20。LongtalkwithCranlyonthesubjectofmyrevolt。
Hehadhisgrandmanneron。Isuppleandsuave。Attackedmeonthescoreofloveforone"smother。Triedtoimaginehismother:cannot。Toldmeonce，inamomentofthoughtlessness，hisfatherwassixty-onewhenhewasborn。Canseehim。Strongfarmertype。Pepperandsaltsuit。Squarefeet。Unkempt，grizzledbeard。Probablyattendscoursingmatches。PayshisduesregularlybutnotplentifullytoFatherDwyerofLarras。Sometimestalkstogirlsafternightfall。Buthismother？Veryyoungorveryold？
Hardlythefirst。Ifso，Cranlywouldnothavespokenashedid。Oldthen。
Probably，andneglected。HenceCranly"sdespairofsoul:thechildofexhaustedloins。
March21，morning。Thoughtthisinbedlastnightbutwastoolazyandfreetoaddtoit。Free，yes。TheexhaustedloinsarethoseofElizabethandZacchary。Thenheistheprecursor。Item:heeatschieflybellybaconanddriedfigs。Readlocustsandwildhoney。Also，whenthinkingofhim，sawalwaysasternseveredheadordeathmaskasifoutlinedonagreycurtainorveronica。Decollationtheycallitinthegold。PuzzledforthemomentbysaintJohnattheLatingate。WhatdoIsee？Adecollatedpercursortryingtopickthelock。
March21，night。Free。Soulfreeandfancyfree。Letthedeadburythedead。Ay。Andletthedeadmarrythedead。
March22。IncompanywithLynchfollowedasizeablehospitalnurse。Lynch"sidea。Dislikeit。Twoleanhungrygreyhoundswalkingafteraheifer。
March23。Havenotseenhersincethatnight。Unwell？Sitsatthefireperhapswithmamma"sshawlonhershoulders。Butnotpeevish。
Anicebowlofgruel？Won"tyounow？
March24。Beganwithadiscussionwithmymother。Subject:B。V。M。
Handicappedbymysexandyouth。ToescapehelduprelationsbetweenJesusandPapaagainstthose-betweenMaryandherson。Saidreligionwasnotalying-inhospital。Motherindulgent。SaidIhaveaqueermindandhavereadtoomuch。Nottrue。Havereadlittleandunderstoodless。ThenshesaidIwouldcomebacktofaithbecauseIhadarestlessmind。Thismeanstoleavechurchbybackdoorofsinandre-enterthroughtheskylightofrepentance。Cannotrepent。Toldhersoandaskedforsixpence。Gotthreepence。
Thenwenttocollege。Otherwranglewithlittleroundheadrogue"seyeGhezzi。ThistimeaboutBrunotheNolan。BeganinItalianandendedinpidginEnglish。HesaidBrunowasaterribleheretic。Isaidhewasterriblyburned。Heagreedtothiswithsomesorrow。Thengavemerecipeforwhathecallsrisottoallabergamasca。Whenhepronouncesasoftoheprotrudeshisfullcarnallipsasifhekissedthevowel。Hashe？Andcouldherepent？Yes，hecould:andcrytworoundrogue"stears，onefromeacheye。
CrossingStephen"s，thatis，mygreen，rememberedthathiscountrymenandnotminehadinventedwhatCranlytheothernightcalledourreligion。
Aquartetofthem，soldiersoftheninety-seventhinfantryregiment，satatthefootofthecrossandtossedupdicefortheovercoatofthecrucified。
Wenttolibrary。Triedtoreadthreereviews。Useless。Sheisnotoutyet。AmIalarmed？Aboutwhat？Thatshewillneverbeoutagain。
Blakewrote:IwonderifWilliamBondwilldieForassuredlyheisveryill。Alas，poorWilliam!
IwasonceatadioramainRotunda。Attheendwerepicturesofbignobs。AmongthemWilliamEwartGladstone，justthendead。OrchestraplayedOWillie，wehavemissedyou。
Araceofclodhoppers!
March25，morning。Atroublednightofdreams。Wanttogetthemoffmychest。
Alongcurvinggallery。Fromthefloorascendpillarsofdarkvapours。
Itispeopledbytheimagesoffabulouskings，setinstone。Theirhandsarefoldedupontheirkneesintokenofwearinessandtheireyesaredarkenedfortheerrorsofmengoupbeforethemforeverasdarkvapours。
Strangefiguresadvanceasfromacave。Theyarenotastallasmen。
Onedoesnotseemtostandquiteapartfromanother。Theirfacesarephosphorescent，withdarkerstreaks。Theypeeratmeandtheireyesseemtoaskmesomething。
Theydonotspeak。
March30。ThiseveningCranlywasintheporchofthelibrary，proposingaproblemtoDixonandherbrother。AmotherletherchildfallintotheNile。Stillharpingonthemother。Acrocodileseizedthechild。
Motheraskeditback。Crocodilesaidallrightifshetoldhimwhathewasgoingtodowiththechild，eatitornoteatIt。
Thismentality，Lepiduswouldsay，isindeedbredoutofyourmudbytheoperationofyoursun。
Andmine？Isitnottoo？ThenintoNilemudwithit!
April1。Disapproveofthislastphrase。
April2。SawherdrinkingteaandeatingcakesinJohnston"s，MooneyandO"Brien"s。Rather，lynx-eyedLynchsawheraswepassed。HetellsmeCranlywasinvitedtherebybrother。Didhebringhiscrocodile？
Ishetheshininglightnow？Well，Idiscoveredhim。IprotestIdid。ShiningquietlybehindabushelofWicklowbran。
April3。MetDavinatthecigarshopoppositeFindlater"schurch。
Hewasinablacksweaterandhadahurleystick。AskedmewasittrueIwasgoingawayandwhy。ToldhimtheshortestwaytoTarawasviaHolyhead。Justthenmyfathercameup。Introduction。Fatherpoliteandobservant。AskedDavinifhemightofferhimsomerefreshment。Davincouldnot，wasgoingtoameeting。Whenwecameawayfathertoldmehehadagoodhonesteye。AskedmewhyIdidnotjoinarowingclub。Ipretendedtothinkitover。ToldmethenhowhebrokePennyfeather"sheart。Wantsmetoreadlaw。SaysIwascutoutforthat。Moremud，morecrocodiles。
April5。Wildspring。Scuddingclouds。Olife!Darkstreamofswirlingbogwateronwhichapple-treeshavecastdowntheirdelicateflowers。
Eyesofgirlsamongtheleaves。Girlsdemureandromping。Allfairorauburn:
nodarkones。Theyblushbetter。Houpla!
April6。Certainlysheremembersthepast。Lynchsaysallwomendo。Thensheremembersthetimeofherchildhood-andmine，ifIwaseverachild。Thepastisconsumedinthepresentandthepresentislivingonlybecauseitbringsforththefuture。Statuesofwomen，ifLynchberight，shouldalwaysbefullydraped，onehandofthewomanfeelingregretfullyherownhinderparts。
April6，later。MichaelRobartesremembersforgottenbeautyand，whenhisarmswrapherround，hepressesinhisarmsthelovelinesswhichhaslongfadedfromtheworld。Notthis。Notatall。Idesiretopressinmyarmsthelovelinesswhichhasnotyetcomeintotheworld。
April10。Faintly，undertheheavynight，throughthesilenceofthecitywhichhasturnedfromdreamstodreamlesssleepasawearyloverwhomnocaressesmove，thesoundofhoofsupontheroad。Notsofaintlynowastheycomenearthebridge；andinamoment，astheypassthedarkenedwindows，thesilenceisclovenbyalarmasbyanarrow。Theyareheardnowfaraway，hoofsthatshineamidtheheavynightasgems，hurryingbeyondthesleepingfieldstowhatjourney"send-whatheart？-bearingwhattidings？
April11。ReadwhatIwrotelastnight。Vaguewordsforavagueemotion。Wouldshelikeit？Ithinkso。ThenIshouldhavetolikeitalso。
April13。Thattundishhasbeenonmymindforalongtime。I
lookeditupandfinditEnglishandgoodoldbluntEnglishtoo。Damnthedeanofstudiesandhisfunnel!Whatdidhecomeherefortoteachushisownlanguageortolearnitfromus。Damnhimonewayortheother!
April14。JohnAlphonsusMulrennanhasjustreturnedfromthewestofIreland。EuropeanandAsiaticpaperspleasecopy。Hetoldushemetanoldmanthereinamountaincabin。Oldmanhadredeyesandshortpipe。OldmanspokeIrish。MulrennanspokeIrish。ThenoldmanandMulrennanspokeEnglish。Mulrennanspoketohimaboutuniverseandstars。Oldmansat，listened，smoked，spat。Thensaid:——
Ah，theremustbeterriblequeercreaturesatthelatterandoftheworld。
Ifearhim。Ifearhisred-rimmedhornyeyes。ItiswithhimImuststruggleallthroughthisnighttilldaycome，tillheorIliedead，grippinghimbythesinewythroattill。
Tillwhat？Tillheyieldtome？No。Imeannoharm。
April15。MethertodaypointblankinGraftonStreet。Thecrowdbroughtustogether。Webothstopped。SheaskedmewhyInevercame，saidshehadheardallsortsofstoriesaboutme。Thiswasonlytogaintime。
AskedmewasIwritingpoems？Aboutwhom？Iaskedher。ThisconfusedhermoreandIfeltsorryandmean。Turnedoffthatvalveatonceandopenedthespiritual-heroicrefrigeratingapparatus，inventedandpatentedinallcountriesbyDanteAlighieri。Talkedrapidlyofmyselfandmyplans。
InthemidstofitunluckilyImadeasuddengestureofarevolutionarynature。Imusthavelookedlikeafellowthrowingahandfulofpeasintotheair。Peoplebegantolookatus。Sheshookhandsamomentafterand，ingoingaway，saidshehopedIwoulddowhatIsaid。
NowIcallthatfriendly，don"tyou？
Yes，Ilikedhertoday。Alittleormuch？Don"tknow。Ilikedheranditseemsanewfeelingtome。Then，inthatcase，alltherest，allthatIthoughtIthoughtandallthatIfeltIfelt，alltherestbeforenow，infact。O，giveitup，oldchap!Sleepitoff!
April16。Away!Away!
Thespellofarmsandvoices:thewhitearmsofroads，theirpromiseofcloseembracesandtheblackarmsoftallshipsthatstandagainstthemoon，theirtaleofdistantnations。Theyareheldouttosay:Wearealone-come。Andthevoicessaywiththem:Weareyourkinsmen。Andtheairisthickwiththeircompanyastheycalltome，theirkinsman，makingreadytogo，shakingthewingsoftheirexultantandterribleyouth。
April26。Motherisputtingmynewsecondhandclothesinorder。
Shepraysnow，shesays，thatImaylearninmyownlifeandawayfromhomeandfriendswhattheheartisandwhatitfeels。Amen。Sobeit。Welcome，Olife，Igotoencounterforthemillionthtimetherealityofexperienceandtoforgeinthesmithyofmysoultheuncreatedconscienceofmyrace。