第2章

"Allthiswithaneasygood-humorfittogiveavirtuouscitizenthecolic。

""Youarewrong，MonsieurleComte，"retortedCerizet，inaslightlyperemptorytone。"Wewillbepaidinfull，andthatinawaywhichyoumaynotlike。ThatiswhyIcametoyoufirstinafriendlyspirit，asisrightandfitbetweengentlemen——"

""Oh!sothatishowyouunderstandit？"beganMaxime，enragedbythislastpieceofpresumption。TherewassomethingofTalleyrand"switintheinsolentretort，ifyouhavequitegraspedthecontrastbetweenthetwomenandtheircostumes。Maximescowledandlookedfullattheintruder；Cerizetnotmerelyenduredtheglareofcoldfury，butevenreturnedit，withanicy，cat-likemalignanceandfixityofgaze。

""Verygood，sir，goout——"

""Verywell，good-day，MonsieurleComte。Weshallbequitsbeforesixmonthsareout。"

""Ifyoucanstealtheamountofyourbill，whichislegallydueI

own，Ishallbeindebtedtoyou，sir，"repliedMaxime。"Youwillhavetaughtmeanewprecautiontotake。Iamverymuchyourservant。"

""MonsieurleComte，"saidCerizet，"itisI，onthecontrary，whoamyours。"

"Herewasanexplicit，forcible，confidentdeclarationoneitherside。

Acoupleoftigersconfabulating，withthepreybeforethem，andafightimpending，wouldhavebeennofinerandnoshrewderthanthispair；theinsolentfinegentlemanasgreatablackguardastheotherinhissoiledandmud-stainedclothes。

"Whichwillyoulayyourmoneyon？"askedDesroches，lookingroundatanaudience，surprisedtofindhowdeeplyitwasinterested。

"Aprettystory!"criedMalaga。"Mydearboy，goon，Ibegofyou。

Thisgoestoone"sheart。”

"Nothingcommonplacecouldhappenbetweentwofighting-cocksofthatcalibre，"addedLaPalferine。

"Pooh!"criedMalaga。"Iwillwagermycabinet-maker"sinvoice(thefellowisdunningme)thatthelittletoadwastoomanyforMaxime。”

"IbetonMaxime，"saidCardot。"Nobodyevercaughthimnapping。”

DesrochesdrankoffaglassthatMalagahandedtohim。

"Mlle。Chocardelle"sreading-room，"hecontinued，afterapause，"wasintheRueCoquenard，justasteportwofromtheRuePigallewhereMaximewasliving。ThesaidMlle。Chocardellelivedatthebackonthegardensideofthehouse，beyondabigdarkplacewherethebookswerekept。Antonialeftheraunttolookafterthebusiness——"

"Hadsheanaunteventhen？"exclaimedMalaga。"Hangitall，Maximedidthingshandsomely。”

"Alas!itwasarealaunt，"saidDesroches；"hernamewas——letmesee——"

"IdaBonamy，"saidBixiou。

"SoasAntonia"saunttookagooddealoftheworkoffherhands，shewenttobedlateandlaylateofamorning，nevershowingherfaceatthedeskuntiltheafternoon，sometimebetweentwoandfour。Fromtheveryfirstherappearancewasenoughtodrawcustom。Severalelderlymeninthequarterusedtocome，amongthemaretiredcoach-builder，oneCroizeau。Beholdingthismiracleoffemalelovelinessthroughthewindow-panes，hetookitintohisheadtoreadthenewspapersinthebeauty"sreading-room；andasometimecustom-houseofficer，namedDenisart，witharibboninhisbutton-hole，followedtheexample。

CroizeauchosetolookuponDenisartasarival。"/Monsieur/，"hesaidafterwards，"

Ididnotknowwhattobuyforyou!"

"Thatspeechshouldgiveyouanideaoftheman。TheSieurCroizeauhappenstobelongtoaparticularclassofoldmanwhichshouldbeknownas"Coquerels"sinceHenriMonnier"stime；sowelldidMonnierrenderthepipingvoice，thelittlemannerisms，littlequeue，littlesprinklingofpowder，littlemovementsofthehead，primlittlemanner，andtrippinggaitinthepartofCoquerelin/LaFamilleImprovisee/。ThisCroizeauusedtohandoverhishalfpencewithaflourishanda"There，fairlady!"

"Mme。IdaBonamytheauntwasnotlonginfindingoutthroughaservantthatCroizeau，bypopularreportoftheneighborhoodoftheRuedeBuffault，wherehelived，wasamanofexceedingstinginess，possessedoffortythousandfrancsperannum。Aweekaftertheinstalmentofthecharminglibrarianhewasdeliveredofapun:

""Youlendmebooks(livres)，butIgiveyouplentyoffrancsinreturn，"saidhe。

"Afewdayslaterheputonaknowinglittleair，asmuchastosay，"Iknowyouareengaged，butmyturnwillcomeoneday；Iamawidower。"

"Healwayscamearrayedinfinelinen，acornflowerbluecoat，apaduasoywaistcoat，blacktrousers，andblackribbonbowsonthedoublesoledshoesthatcreakedlikeanabbe"s；healwaysheldafourteenfrancsilkhatinhishand。

""IamoldandIhavenochildren，"hetookoccasiontoconfidetotheyoungladysomefewdaysafterCerizet"svisittoMaxime。"Iholdmyrelationsinhorror。Theyarepeasantsborntoworkinthefields。

Justimagineit，Icameupfromthecountrywithsixfrancsinmypocket，andmademyfortunehere。Iamnotproud。Aprettywomanismyequal。NowwoulditnotbenicertobeMme。CroizeauforsomeyearstocomethantodoaCount"spleasureforatwelvemonth？Hewillgooffandleaveyousometimeorother；andwhenthatdaycomes，youwillthinkofme……yourservant，myprettylady!"

"Allthiswassimmeringbelowthesurface。Theslightestapproachatlove-makingwasmadequiteonthesly。NotasoulsuspectedthatthetrimlittleoldfogywassmittenwithAntonia；andsoprudentwastheelderlylover，thatnorivalcouldhaveguessedanythingfromhisbehaviorinthereading-room。ForacoupleofmonthsCroizeauwatchedtheretiredcustom-houseofficial；butbeforethethirdmonthwasouthehadgoodreasontobelievethathissuspicionsweregroundless。HeexertedhisingenuitytoscrapeanacquaintancewithDenisart，cameupwithhiminthestreet，andatlengthseizedhisopportunitytoremark，"Itisafineday，sir!"

"Whereupontheretiredofficialrespondedwith，"Austerlitzweather，sir。Iwastheremyself——Iwaswoundedindeed，IwonmyCrossonthatgloriousday。"

"AndsofromonethingtoanotherthetwodriftedwrecksoftheEmpirestruckupanacquaintance。LittleCroizeauwasattachedtotheEmpirethroughhisconnectionwithNapoleon"ssisters。Hehadbeentheircoach-builder，andhadfrequentlydunnedthemformoney；sohegaveoutthathe"hadhadrelationswiththeImperialfamily。"Maxime，dulyinformedbyAntoniaofthe"niceoldman"s"proposals(forsotheauntcalledCroizeau)，wishedtoseehim。Cerizet"sdeclarationofwarhadsofartakeneffectthatheoftheyellowkidgloveswasstudyingthepositionofeverypiece，howeverinsignificant，upontheboard；anditsohappenedthatatthementionofthat"niceoldman，"anominoustinklingsoundedinhisears。Oneevening，therefore，Maximeseatedhimselfamongthebook-shelvesinthedimlylightedbackroom，reconnoitredthesevenoreightcustomersthroughthechinkbetweenthegreencurtains，andtookthelittlecoach-builder"smeasure。Hegaugedtheman"sinfatuation，andwasverywellsatisfiedtofindthatthevarnisheddoorsofatolerablysumptuousfuturewerereadytoturnatawordfromAntoniasosoonashisownfancyhadpassedoff。

""Andthatotheroneyonder？"askedhe，pointingoutthestoutfine-

lookingelderlymanwiththeCrossoftheLegionofHonor。"Whoishe？"

""Aretiredcustom-houseofficer。"

""Thecutofhiscountenanceisnotreassuring，"saidMaxime，beholdingtheSieurDenisart。

"Andindeedtheoldsoldierheldhimselfuprightasasteeple。Hisheadwasremarkablefortheamountofpowderandpomatumbestoweduponit；helookedalmostlikeapostilionatafancyball。Underneaththatfeltedcovering，mouldedtothetopofthewearer"scranium，appearedanelderlyprofile，half-official，half-soldierly，withacomicaladmixtureofarrogance，——altogethersomethinglikecaricaturesofthe/Constitutionnel/。Thesometimeofficialfindingthatage，andhair-

powder，andtheconformationofhisspinemadeitimpossibletoreadawordwithoutspectacles，satdisplayingaverycreditableexpanseofchestwithalltheprideofanoldmanwithamistress。LikeoldGeneralMontcornet，thatpillaroftheVaudeville，heworeearrings。

Denisartwaspartialtoblue；hisroomytrousersandwell-worngreatcoatwerebothofbluecloth。

""Howlongisitsincethatoldfogycamehere？"inquiredMaxime，thinkingthathesawdangerinthespectacles。

""Oh，fromthebeginning，"returnedAntonia，"prettynearlytwomonthsagonow。"

""Good，"saidMaximetohimself，"Cerizetonlycametomeamonthago——Justgethimtotalk，"headdedinAntonia"sear；"Iwanttohearhisvoice。"

""Pshaw，"saidshe，"thatisnotsoeasy。Heneversaysawordtome。"

""Thenwhydoeshecomehere？"demandedMaxime。

""Foraqueerreason，"returnedthefairAntonia。"Inthefirstplace，althoughheissixty-nine，hehasafancy；andbecauseheissixty-nine，heisasmethodicalasaclockface。Everydayatfiveo"clocktheoldgentlemangoestodinewith/her/intheRuedelaVictoire。(Iamsorryforher。)Thenatsixo"clock，hecomeshere，readssteadilyatthepapersforfourhours，andgoesbackatteno"clock。DaddyCroizeausaysthatheknowsM。Denisart"smotives，andapproveshisconduct；andinhisplace，hewoulddothesame。SoI

knowexactlywhattoexpect。IfeverIamMme。Croizeau，Ishallhavefourhourstomyselfbetweensixandteno"clock。"

"Maximelookedthroughthedirectory，andfoundthefollowingreassuringitem:

"DENISART，*retiredcustom-houseofficer，RuedelaVictoire。

"Hisuneasinessvanished。

"GraduallytheSieurDenisartandtheSieurCroizeaubegantoexchangeconfidences。Nothingsobindstwomentogetherasasimilarityofviewsinthematterofwomankind。DaddyCroizeauwenttodinewith"M。

Denisart"sfairlady，"ashecalledher。AndhereImustmakeasomewhatimportantobservation。

"Thereading-roomhadbeenpaidforhalfincash，halfinbillssignedbythesaidMlle。Chocardelle。The/quartd"heuredeRabelais/

arrived；theCounthadnomoney。Sothefirstbillofthreethousandfrancswasmetbytheamiablecoach-builder；thatoldscoundrelDenisarthavingrecommendedhimtosecurehimselfwithamortgageonthereading-room。

""Formyownpart，"saidDenisart，"Ihaveseenprettydoingsfromprettywomen。Soinallcases，evenwhenIhavelostmyhead，Iamalwaysonmyguardwithawoman。Thereisthiscreature，forinstance；

Iammadlyinlovewithher；butthisisnotherfurniture；no，itbelongstome。Theleaseistakenoutinmyname。"

"YouknowMaxime!Hethoughtthecoach-builderuncommonlygreen。

Croizeaumightpayallthreebills，andgetnothingforalongwhile；

forMaximefeltmoreinfatuatedwithAntoniathanever。”

"Icanwellbelieveit，"saidLaPalferine。"Sheisthe/bellaImperia/ofourday。”

"Withherroughskin!"exclaimedMalaga；"sorough，thatsheruinsherselfinbranbaths!"

"Croizeauspokewithacoach-builder"sadmirationofthesumptuousfurnitureprovidedbytheamorousDenisartasasettingforhisfairone，describingitallindetailwithdiabolicalcomplacencyforAntonia"sbenefit，"continuedDesroches。"Theebonychestsinlaidwithmother-of-pearlandgoldwire，theBrusselscarpets，amediaevalbedsteadworththreethousandfrancs，aBouleclock，candelabrainthefourcornersofthedining-room，silkcurtains，onwhichChinesepatiencehadwroughtpicturesofbirds，andhangingsoverthedoors，worthmorethantheportressthatopenedthem。

""Andthatiswhat/you/oughttohave，myprettylady——AndthatiswhatIshouldliketoofferyou，"hewouldconclude。"Iamquiteawarethatyouscarcelycareabitaboutme；but，atmyage，wecannotexpecttoomuch。JudgehowmuchIloveyou；Ihavelentyouathousandfrancs。Imustconfessthat，inallmyborndays，Ihavenotlentanybody/that/much——"

"Heheldouthispennyashespoke，withtheimportantairofamanthatgivesalearneddemonstration。

"ThateveningattheVarietes，AntoniaspoketotheCount。

""Areading-roomisverydull，allthesame，"saidshe；"IfeelthatIhavenosortoftasteforthatkindoflife，andIseenofutureinit。Itisonlyfitforawidowthatwishestokeepbodyandsoultogether，orforsomehideouslyuglythingthatfanciesshecancatchahusbandwithalittlefinery。"

""Itwasyourownchoice，"returnedtheCount。Justatthatmoment，incameNucingen，ofwhomMaxime，kingoflions(the"yellowkidgloves"werethelionsofthatday)hadwonthreethousandfrancstheeveningbefore。Nucingenhadcometopayhisgamingdebt。

""EinwritofattachmenthafshoostpeenservedonmebyderorderofdotteufelGlabaron，"hesaid，seeingMaxime"sastonishment。

""Oh，sothatishowtheyaregoingtowork，isit？"criedMaxime。

"Theyarenotuptomuch，thatpair——"

""Itmakesnot，"saidthebanker，"baydem，fordeymayapplydemselfstooderspesides，unddoyouharm。IdakedeesbrettyvomantovitnessdotIhafbaidyoudeesmorning，longpeforedatwritvasserfed。""

"Queenoftheboards，"smiledLaPalferine，lookingatMalaga，"thouartabouttolosethybet。”

"Once，alongtimeago，inasimilarcase，"resumedDesroches，"atoohonestdebtortookfrightattheideaofasolemndeclarationinacourtoflaw，anddeclinedtopayMaximeafternoticewasgiven。Thattimewemadeithotforthecreditorbypilingonwritsofattachment，soastoabsorbthewholeamountincosts——"

"Oh，whatisthat？"criedMalaga；"itallsoundslikegibberishtome。

Asyouthoughtthesturgeonsoexcellentatdinner，letmetakeoutthevalueofthesauceinlessonsinchicanery。”

"Verywell，"saidDesroches。"Supposethatamanowesyoumoney，andyourcreditorsserveawritofattachmentuponhim；thereisnothingtopreventallyourothercreditorsfromdoingthesamething。Andnowwhatdoesthecourtdowhenallthecreditorsmakeapplicationfororderstopay？/Thecourtdividesthewholesumattached，proportionatelyamongthemall。/Thatdivision，madeundertheeyeofamagistrate，iswhatwecalla/contribution/。Ifyouowetenthousandfrancs，andyourcreditorsissuewritsofattachmentonadebtduetoyouofathousandfrancs，eachoneofthemgetssomuchpercent，"somuchinthepound，"inlegalphrase；somuch(thatmeans)inproportiontotheamountsseverallyclaimedbythecreditors。But——thecreditorscannottouchthemoneywithoutaspecialorderfromtheclerkofthecourt。Doyouguesswhatallthisworkdrawnupbyajudgeandpreparedbyattorneysmustmean？Itmeansaquantityofstampedpaperfullofdiffuselinesandblanks，thefiguresalmostlostinvastspacesofcompletelyemptyruledcolumns。

Thefirstproceedingistodeductthecosts。Now，asthecostsarepreciselythesamewhethertheamountattachedisonethousandoronemillionfrancs，itisnotdifficulttoeatupthreethousandfrancs(forinstance)incosts，especiallyifyoucanmanagetoraisecounterapplications。”

"Andanattorneyalwaysmanagestodoit，"saidCardot。"Howmanyatimeoneofyouhascometomewith，"Whatistheretobegotoutofthecase？""

"Itisparticularlyeasytomanageitifthedebtoreggsyouontorunupcoststilltheyeatuptheamount。And，asarule，theCount"screditorstooknothingbythatmove，andwereoutofpocketinlawandpersonalexpenses。TogetmoneyoutofsoexperiencedadebtorastheCount，acreditorshouldreallybeinapositionuncommonlydifficulttoreach；itisaquestionofbeingcreditoranddebtorboth，forthenyouarelegallyentitledtoworktheconfusionofrights，inlawlanguage——"

"Totheconfusionofthedebtor？"askedMalaga，lendinganattentiveeartothisdiscourse。

"No，theconfusionofrightsofdebtorandcreditor，andpayyourselfthroughyourownhands。SoClaparon"sinnocenceinmerelyissuingwritsofattachmenteasedtheCount"smind。AshecamebackfromtheVarieteswithAntonia，hewassomuchthemoretakenwiththeideaofsellingthereading-roomtopayoffthelasttwothousandfrancsofthepurchase-money，becausehedidnotcaretohavehisnamemadepublicasapartnerinsuchaconcern。SoheadoptedAntonia"splan。

Antoniawishedtoreachthehigherranksofhercalling，withsplendidrooms，amaid，andacarriage；inshort，shewantedtorivalourcharminghostess，forinstance——"

"Shewasnotwomanenoughforthat，"criedthefamousbeautyoftheCircus；"still，sheruinedyoungd"Esgrignonveryneatly。”

"Tendaysafterwards，littleCroizeau，perchedonhisdignity，saidalmostexactlythesamething，forthefairAntonia"sbenefit，"

continuedDesroches。

""Child，"saidhe，"yourreading-roomisaholeofaplace。Youwillloseyourcomplexion；thegaswillruinyoureyesight。Yououghttocomeoutofit；and，lookhere，letustakeadvantageofanopportunity。Ihavefoundayoungladyforyouthatasksnobetterthantobuyyourreading-room。Sheisaruinedwomanwithnothingbeforeherbutaplungeintotheriver；butshehadfourthousandfrancsincash，andthebestthingtodoistoturnthemtoaccount，soastofeedandeducateacoupleofchildren。"

""Verywell。Itiskindofyou，DaddyCroizeau，"saidAntonia。

""Oh，IshallbemuchkinderbeforeIhavedone。Justimagineit，poorM。Denisarthasbeenworriedintothejaundice!Yes，ithasgonetotheliver，asitusuallydoeswithsusceptibleoldmen。Itisapityhefeelsthingsso。Itoldhimsomyself；Isaid，"Bepassionate，thereisnoharminthat，butasfortakingthingstoheart——drawthelineatthat!Itisthewaytokillyourself。”——Really，Iwouldnothaveexpectedhimtotakeonsoaboutit；amanthathassenseenoughandexperienceenoughtokeepawayashedoeswhilehedigestshisdinner——"

""Butwhatisthematter？"inquiredMlle。Chocardelle。

""ThatlittlebaggagewithwhomIdinedhasclearedoutandlefthim!……Yes。Gavehimtheslipwithoutanywarningbutaletter，inwhichthespellingwasalltoseek。"

""There，DaddyCroizeau，youseewhatcomesofboringawoman——"

""Itisindeedalesson，myprettylady，"saidtheguilefulCroizeau。

"Meanwhile，Ihaveneverseenamaninsuchastate。OurfriendDenisartcannottellhislefthandfromhisright；hewillnotgobacktolookatthe"sceneofhishappiness，"ashecallsit。Hehassothoroughlylosthiswits，thatheproposesthatIshouldbuyallHortense"sfurniture(Hortensewashername)forfourthousandfrancs。"

""Aprettyname，"saidAntonia。

"Yes。Napoleon"sstepdaughterwascalledHortense。Ibuiltcarriagesforher，asyouknow。"

""Verywell，Iwillsee，"saidcunningAntonia；"beginbysendingthisyoungwomantome。"

"Antoniahurriedofftoseethefurniture，andcamebackfascinated。

ShebroughtMaximeunderthespellofantiquarianenthusiasm。ThatveryeveningtheCountagreedtothesaleofthereading-room。Theestablishment，yousee，nominallybelongedtoMlle。Chocardelle。

MaximeburstoutlaughingattheideaoflittleCroizeau"sfindinghimabuyer。ThefirmofMaximeandChocardellewaslosingtwothousandfrancs，itistrue，butwhatwasthelosscomparedwithfourgloriousthousand-francnotesinhand？"Fourthousandfrancsoflivecoin!——

therearemomentsinone"slifewhenonewouldsignbillsforeightthousandtogetthem，"astheCountsaidtome。

"TwodayslatertheCountmustseethefurniturehimself，andtookthefourthousandfrancsuponhim。Thesalehadbeenarranged；thankstolittleCroizeau"sdiligence，hepushedmatterson；hehad"comeround"

thewidow，asheexpressedit。ItwasMaxime"sintentiontohaveallthefurnitureremovedatoncetoalodginginanewhouseintheRueTronchet，takeninthenameofMme。IdaBonamy；hedidnottroublehimselfmuchabouttheniceoldmanthatwasabouttolosehisthousandfrancs。Buthehadsentbeforehandforseveralbigfurniturevans。

"Onceagainhewasfascinatedbythebeautifulfurniturewhichawholesaledealerwouldhavevaluedatsixthousandfrancs。Bythefiresidesatthewretchedowner，yellowwithjaundice，hisheadtiedupinacoupleofprintedhandkerchiefs，andacottonnight-capontopofthem；hewashuddledupinwrappingslikeachandelier，exhausted，unabletospeak，andaltogethersoknockedtopiecesthattheCountwasobligedtotransacthisbusinesswiththeman-servant。Whenhehadpaiddownthefourthousandfrancs，andtheservanthadtakenthemoneytohismasterforareceipt，Maximeturnedtotellthemantocallupthevanstothedoor；butevenashespoke，avoicelikearattlesoundedinhisears。

""Itisnotworthwhile，MonsieurleComte。YouandIarequits；I

havesixhundredandthirtyfrancsfifteencentimestogiveyou!"

"Tohisutterconsternation，hesawCerizet，emergedfromhiswrappingslikeabutterflyfromthechrysalis，holdingouttheaccursedbundleofdocuments。

""WhenIwasdownonmyluck，Ilearnedtoactonthestage，"addedCerizet。"IamasgoodasBouffeatoldmen。"

""Ihavefallenamongthieves!"shoutedMaxime。

""No，MonsieurleComte，youareinMlle。Hortense"shouse。SheisafriendofoldLordDudley"s；hekeepsherhiddenawayhere；butshehasthebadtastetolikeyourhumbleservant。"

""IfeverIlongedtokillaman，"sotheCounttoldmeafterwards，"itwasatthatmoment；butwhatcouldonedo？Hortenseshowedherprettyface，onehadtolaugh。Tokeepmydignity，Iflungherthesixhundredfrancs。"There"sforthegirl，"saidI。""

"ThatisMaximeallover!"criedLaPalferine。

"MoreespeciallyasitwaslittleCroizeau"smoney，"addedCardottheprofound。

"Maximescoredatriumph，"continuedDesroches，"forHortenseexclaimed，"Oh，ifIhadonlyknownthatitwasyou!""

"Apretty"confusion"indeed!"putinMalaga。"Youhavelost，milord，"

sheaddedturningtothenotary。

Andinthiswaythecabinetmaker，towhomMalagaowedahundredcrowns，waspaid。