第1章
ToMonsieurleBaronJamesdeRothschild，BankerandAustrianConsul-GeneralatParis。
AMANOFBUSINESS
Theword/lorette/isaeuphemisminventedtodescribethestatusofapersonage，orapersonageofastatus，ofwhichitisawkwardtospeak；theFrenchAcademie，initsmodesty，havingomittedtosupplyadefinitionoutofregardfortheageofitsfortymembers。Wheneveranewwordcomestosupplytheplaceofanunwieldycircumlocution，itsfortuneisassured；theword/lorette/haspassedintothelanguageofeveryclassofsociety，evenwheretheloretteherselfwillnevergainanentrance。Itwasonlyinventedin1840，andderivedbeyondadoubtfromtheagglomerationofsuchswallows"nestsabouttheChurchofOurLadyofLoretto。Thisinformationisforetymoligistsonly。
Thosegentlemenwouldnotbesoofteninaquandaryifmediaevalwritershadonlytakensuchpainswithdetailsofcontemporarymannersaswetakeinthesedaysofanalysisanddescription。
Mlle。Turquet，orMalaga，forsheisbetterknownbyherpseudonym(See/LafausseMaitresse/。)，wasoneoftheearliestparishionersofthatcharmingchurch。Atthetimetowhichthisstorybelongs，thatlightheartedandlivelydamselgladdenedtheexistenceofanotarywithawifesomewhattoobigoted，rigid，andfrigidfordomestichappiness。
Now，itsofelloutthatoneCarnivaleveningMaitreCardotwasentertainingguestsatMlle。Turquet"shouse——Desrochestheattorney，Bixiouofthecaricatures，Lousteauthejournalist，Nathan，andothers；itisquiteunnecessarytogiveanyfurtherdescriptionofthesepersonages，allbearersofillustriousnamesinthe/ComedieHumaine/。YoungLaPalferine，inspiteofhistitleofCountandhisgreatdescent，which，alas!meansagreatdescentinfortunelikewise，hadhonoredthenotary"slittleestablishmentwithhispresence。
Atdinner，insuchahouse，onedoesnotexpecttomeetthepatriarchalbeef，theskinnyfowlandsaladofdomesticandfamilylife，noristhereanyattemptatthehypocriticalconversationofdrawing-roomsfurnishedwithhighlyrespectablematrons。When，alas!
willrespectabilitybecharming？Whenwillthewomeningoodsocietyvouchsafetoshowratherlessoftheirshouldersandrathermorewitorgeniality？MargueriteTurquet，theAspasiaoftheCirque-Olympique，isoneofthosefrank，verylivingpersonalitiestowhomallisforgiven，suchunconscioussinnersarethey，suchintelligentpenitents；ofsuchasMalagaonemightask，likeCardot——awittymanenough，albeitanotary——tobewell"deceived。”Andyetyoumustnotthinkthatanyenormitieswerecommitted。DesrochesandCardotweregoodfellowsgrowntoograyintheprofessionnottofeelateasewithBixiou，Lousteau，Nathan，andyoungLaPalferine。Andtheyontheirsidehadtoooftenhadrecoursetotheirlegaladvisers，andknewthemtoowelltotryto"drawthemout，"inlorettelanguage。
Conversation，perfumedwithsevencigars，atfirstwasasfantasticasakidletloose，butfinallyitsettleddownuponthestrategyoftheconstantwarwagedinParisbetweencreditorsanddebtors。
Now，ifyouwillbesogoodastorecallthehistoryandantecedentsoftheguests，youwillknowthatinallParis，youcouldscarcelyfindagroupofmenwithmoreexperienceinthismatter；theprofessionalmenononehand，andtheartistsontheother，weresomethinginthepositionofmagistratesandcriminalshobnobbingtogether。AsetofBixiou"sdrawingstoillustratelifeinthedebtors"prison，ledtheconversationtotakethisparticularturn；
andfromdebtors"prisonstheywenttodebts。
Itwasmidnight。Theyhadbrokenupintolittleknotsroundthetableandbeforethefire，andgavethemselvesuptotheburlesquefunwhichisonlypossibleorcomprehensibleinParisandinthatparticularregionwhichisboundedbytheFaubourgMontmartre，theRueChausseed"Antin，theupperendoftheRuedeNavarinandthelineoftheboulevards。
Intenminutes"timetheyhadcometoanendofallthedeepreflections，allthemoralizings，smallandgreat，allthebadpunsmadeonasubjectalreadyexhaustedbyRabelaisthreehundredandfiftyyearsago。ItwasnotalittletotheircreditthatthepyrotechnicdisplaywascutshortwithafinalsquibfromMalaga。
"Itallgoestotheshoemakers，"shesaid。"Ileftamillinerbecauseshefailedtwicewithmyhats。Thevixenhasbeenheretwenty-seventimestoaskfortwentyfrancs。Shedidnotknowthatweneverhavetwentyfrancs。Onehasathousandfrancs，oronesendstoone"snotaryforfivehundred；buttwentyfrancsIhaveneverhadinmylife。Mycookandmymaidmay，perhaps，havesomuchbetweenthem；butformyownpart，Ihavenothingbutcredit，andIshouldlosethatifItooktoborrowingsmallsums。IfIweretoaskfortwentyfrancs，Ishouldhavenothingtodistinguishmefrommycolleaguesthatwalktheboulevard。”
"Isthemillinerpaid？"askedLaPalferine。
"Oh，comenow，areyouturningstupid？"saidshe，withawink。"Shecamethismorningforthetwenty-seventhtime，thatishowIcametomentionit。”
"Whatdidyoudo？"askedDesroches。
"Itookpityuponher，and——orderedalittlehatthatIhavejustinvented，aquitenewshape。IfMlle。Amandasucceedswithit，shewillsaynomoreaboutthemoney，herfortuneismade。”
"Inmyopinion，"putinDesroches，"thefinestthingsthatIhaveseeninaduelofthiskindgivethosewhoknowParisafarbetterpictureofthecitythanallthefancyportraitsthattheypaint。Someofyouthinkthatyouknowathingortwo，"hecontinued，glancingroundatNathan，Bixiou，LaPalferine，andLousteau，"butthekingofthegroundisacertainCount，nowbusyranginghimself。Inhistime，hewassupposedtobethecleverest，adroitest，canniest，boldest，stoutest，mostsubtleandexperiencedofallthepirates，who，equippedwithfinemanners，yellowkidgloves，andcabs，haveeversailedoreverwillsailuponthestormyseasofParis。HefearsneitherGodnorman。HeappliesinprivatelifetheprinciplesthatguidetheEnglishCabinet。Uptothetimeofhismarriage，hislifewasonecontinualwar，like——Lousteau"s，forinstance。Iwas，andamstillhissolicitor。”
"AndthefirstletterofhisnameisMaximedeTrailles，"saidLaPalferine。
"Forthatmatter，hehaspaideveryone，andinjurednoone，"
continuedDesroches。"ButasyourfriendBixiouwassayingjustnow，itisaviolationofthelibertyofthesubjecttobemadetopayinMarchwhenyouhavenomindtopaytillOctober。Byvirtueofthisarticleofhisparticularcode，Maximeregardedacreditor"sschemeformakinghimpayatonceasaswindler"strick。Itwasalongtimesincehehadgraspedthesignificanceofthebillofexchangeinallitsbearings，directandremote。Ayoungmanonce，inmyplace，calledabillofexchangethe"asses"bridge"inhishearing。"No，"saidhe，"itistheBridgeofSighs；itistheshortestwaytoanexecution。"
Indeed，hisknowledgeofcommerciallawwassocomplete，thataprofessionalcouldnothavetaughthimanything。Atthattimehehadnothing，asyouknow。Hiscarriageandhorseswerejobbed；helivedinhisvalet"shouse；and，bytheway，hewillbeaherotohisvalettotheendofthechapter，evenafterthemarriagethatheproposestomake。Hebelongedtothreeclubs，anddinedatoneofthemwheneverhedidnotdineout。Asarule，hewastobefoundveryseldomathisownaddress——"
"Heoncesaidtome，"interruptedLaPalferine，""MyoneaffectationisthepretencethatImakeoflivingintheRuePigalle。""
"Well，"resumedDesroches，"hewasoneofthecombatants；andnowfortheother。YouhaveheardmoreorlesstalkofoneClaparon？"
"Hadhairlikethis!"criedBixiou，rufflinghislockstilltheystoodonend。GiftedwiththesametalentformimickingabsurditieswhichChopinthepianistpossessestosohighadegree，heproceededforthwithtorepresentthecharacterwithstartlingtruth。
"Herollshisheadlikethiswhenhespeaks；hewasonceacommercialtraveler；hehasbeenallsortsofthings——"
"Well，hewasborntotravel，foratthisminute，asIspeak，heisontheseaonhiswaytoAmerica，"saidDesroches。"Itishisonlychance，forinallprobabilityhewillbecondemnedbydefaultasafraudulentbankruptnextsession。”
"Verymuchatsea!"exclaimedMalaga。
"ForsixorsevenyearsthisClaparonactedasmanofstraw，cat"spaw，andscapegoattotwofriendsofours，duTilletandNucingen；butin1829hispartwassowellknownthat——"
"Ourfriendsdroppedhim，"putinBixiou。
"Theylefthimtohisfateatlast，andhewallowedinthemire，"
continuedDesroches。"In1833hewentintopartnershipwithoneCerizet——"
"What!hethatpromotedajoint-stockcompanysonicelythattheSixthChambercutshorthiscareerwithacoupleofyearsinjail？"askedthelorette。
"Thesame。UndertheRestoration，between1823and1827，Cerizet"soccupationconsistedinfirstputtinghisnameintrepidlytovariousparagraphs，onwhichthepublicprosecutorfastenedwithavidity，andsubsequentlymarchingofftoprison。Amancouldmakeanameforhimselfwithsmallexpenseinthosedays。TheLiberalpartycalledtheirprovincialchampion"thecourageousCerizet，"andtowards1828
somuchzealreceiveditsrewardin"generalinterest。"
""Generalinterest"isakindofciviccrownbestowedonthedeservingbythedailypress。Cerizettriedtodiscountthe"generalinterest"takeninhim。HecametoParis，and，withsomehelpfromcapitalistsintheOpposition，startedasabroker，andconductedfinancialoperationstosomeextent，thecapitalbeingfoundbyamaninhiding，askilfulgamblerwhooverreachedhimself，andinconsequence，inJuly1830，hiscapitalfounderedintheshipwreckoftheGovernment。”
"Oh!itwashewhomweusedtocalltheSystem，"criedBixiou。
"Saynoharmofhim，poorfellow，"protestedMalaga。"D"Estournywasagoodsort。”
"Youcanimaginethepartthataruinedmanwassuretoplayin1830
whenhisnameinpoliticswas"thecourageousCerizet。”Hewassentoffintoaverysnuglittlesub-prefecture。Unluckilyforhim，itisonethingtobeinopposition——anymissileisgoodenoughtothrow，solongastheflightlasts；butquiteanothertobeinoffice。Threemonthslater，hewasobligedtosendinhisresignation。Hadhenottakenitintohisheadtoattempttowinpopularity？Still，ashehaddonenothingasyettoimperilhistitleof"courageousCerizet，"theGovernmentproposedbywayofcompensationthatheshouldmanageanewspaper；nominallyanOppositionnewspaper，butMinisterialist/inpetto/。SothefallofthisnoblenaturewasreallyduetotheGovernment。
ToCerizet，asmanagerofthepaper，itwasrathertooevidentthathewasasabirdperchedonarottenbough；andthenitwasthathepromotedthatnicelittlejoint-stockcompany，andtherebysecuredacoupleofyearsinprison；hewascaught，whilemoreingeniousswindlerssucceededincatchingthepublic。”
"Weareacquaintedwiththemoreingenious，"saidBixiou；"letussaynoillofthepoorfellow；hewasnabbed；Coutureallowedthemtosqueezehiscash-box；whowouldeverhavethoughtitofhim？"
"Atallevents，Cerizetwasalowsortoffellow，agooddealdamagedbylowdebauchery。NowfortheduelIspokeabout。Neverdidtwotradesmenoftheworsttype，withtheworstmanners，thelowestpairofvillainsimaginable，gointopartnershipinadirtierbusiness。
Theirstock-in-tradeconsistedofthepeculiaridiomofthemanabouttown，theaudacityofpoverty，thecunningthatcomesofexperience，andaspecialknowledgeofParisiancapitalists，theirorigin，connections，acquaintances，andintrinsicvalue。Thispartnershipoftwo"dabblers"(lettheStockExchangetermpass，foritistheonlywordwhichdescribesthem)，thispartnershipofdabblersdidnotlastverylong。Theyfoughtlikefamishedcursovereverybitofgarbage。
"TheearlierspeculationsofthefirmofCerizetandClaparonwere，however，wellplanned。ThetwoscampsjoinedforceswithBarbet，Chaboisseau，Samanon，andusurersofthatstamp，andboughtuphopelesslybaddebts。
"Claparon"splaceofbusinessatthattimewasacrampedentresolintheRueChabannais——fiveroomsatarentofsevenhundredfrancsatmost。Eachpartnersleptinalittlecloset，socarefullyclosedfromprudence，thatmyhead-clerkcouldnevergetinside。Thefurnitureoftheotherthreerooms——anante-chamber，awaiting-room，andaprivateoffice——wouldnothavefetchedthreehundredfrancsaltogetheratadistress-warrantsale。
YouknowenoughofParistoknowthelookofit；thestuffedhorsehair-coveredchairs，atablecoveredwithagreencloth，atrumperyclockbetweenacoupleofcandlesconces，growingtarnishedunderglassshades，thesmallgilt-framedmirroroverthechimney-piece，andinthegrateacharredstickortwooffirewoodwhichhadlastedthemfortwowinters，asmyhead-clerkputit。Asfortheoffice，youcanguesswhatitwaslike——moreletter-filesthanbusinessletters，asetofcommonpigeon-holesforeitherpartner，acylinderdesk，emptyasthecash-box，inthemiddleoftheroom，andacoupleofarmchairsoneithersideofacoalfire。Thecarpetonthefloorwasboughtcheapatsecond-hand(likethebillsandbaddebts)。
Inshort，itwasthemahoganyfurnitureoffurnishedapartmentswhichusuallydescendsfromoneoccupantofchamberstoanotherduringfiftyyearsofservice。Nowyouknowthepairofantagonists。
"Duringthefirstthreemonthsofapartnershipdissolvedfourmonthslaterinaboutoffisticuffs，CerizetandClaparonboughtuptwothousandfrancs"worthofbillsbearingMaxime"ssignature(sinceMaximewashisname)，andfilledacoupleofletterstoburstingwithjudgments，appeals，ordersofthecourt，distress-warrants，applicationforstayofproceedings，andalltherestofit；toputitbriefly，theyhadbillsforthreethousandtwohundredfrancsoddcentimes，forwhichtheyhadgivenfivehundredfrancs；thetransferbeingmadeunderprivateseal，withspecialpowerofattorney，tosavetheexpenseofregistration。Nowitsohappenedatthisjuncture，Maxime，beingofripeage，wasseizedwithoneofthefanciespeculiartothemanoffifty——"
"Antonia!"exclaimedLaPalferine。"ThatAntoniawhosefortuneImadebywritingtoaskforatoothbrush!"
"HerrealnameisChocardelle，"saidMalaga，notoverwellpleasedbythefine-soundingpseudonym。
"Thesame，"continuedDesroches。
"ItwastheonlymistakeMaximeevermadeinhislife。Butwhatwouldyouhave，noviceisabsolutelyperfect？"putinBixiou。
"Maximehadstilltolearnwhatsortofalifeamanmaybeledintobyagirlofeighteenwhensheismindedtotakeaheaderfromherhonestgarretintoasumptuouscarriage；itisalessonthatallstatesmenshouldtaketoheart。Atthistime，deMarsayhadjustbeenemployinghisfriend，ourfrienddeTrailles，inthehighcomedyofpolitics。Maximehadlookedhighforhisconquests；hehadnoexperienceofuntitledwomen；andatfiftyyearshefeltthathehadarighttotakeabiteoftheso-calledwildfruit，muchasasportsmanwillhaltunderapeasant"sapple-tree。SotheCountfoundareading-
roomforMlle。Chocardelle，arathersmartlittleplacetobehadcheap，asusual——"
"Pooh!"saidNathan。"Shedidnotstayinitsixmonths。Shewastoohandsometokeepareading-room。”
"Perhapsyouarethefatherofherchild？"suggestedthelorette。
Desrochesresumed。
"SincethefirmboughtupMaxime"sdebts，Cerizet"slikenesstoabailiff"sofficergrewmoreandmorestriking，andonemorningaftersevenfruitlessattemptshesucceededinpenetratingintotheCount"spresence。Suzon，theoldman-servant，albeithewasbynomeansinhisnovitiate，atlastmistookthevisitorforapetitioner，cometoproposeathousandcrownsifMaximewouldobtainalicensetosellpostagestampsforayounglady。Suzon，withouttheslightestsuspicionofthelittlescamp，athoroughbredParisstreet-boyintowhomprudencehadbeenrubbedbyrepeatedpersonalexperienceofthepolice-courts，inducedhismastertoreceivehim。Canyouseethemanofbusiness，withanuneasyeye，abaldforehead，andscarcelyanyhaironhishead，standinginhisthreadbarejacketandmuddyboots——"
"WhatapictureofaDun!"criedLousteau。
"——standingbeforetheCount，thatimageofflauntingDebt，inhisblueflanneldressing-gown，slippersworkedbysomeMarquiseorother，trousersofwhitewoolenstuff，andadazzlingshirt？Therehestood，withagorgeouscaponhisblackdyedhair，playingwiththetasselsathiswaist——"
""Tisabitofgenreforanybodywhoknowswhattheprettylittlemorningroom，hungwithsilkandfullofvaluablepaintings，whereMaximebreakfasts，"saidNathan。"YoutreadonaSmyrnacarpet，youadmirethesideboardsfilledwithcuriositiesandraritiesfittomakeaKingofSaxonyenvious——"
"Nowforthesceneitself，"saidDesroches，andthedeepestsilencefollowed。
""MonsieurleComte，"beganCerizet，"IhavecomefromaM。CharlesClaparon，whousedtobeabanker——"
""Ah!poordevil，andwhatdoeshewantwithme？"
""Well，heisatpresentyourcreditorforamatterofthreethousandtwohundredfrancs，seventy-fivecentimes，principal，interest，andcosts——"
""Coutelier"sbusiness？"putinMaxime，whoknewhisaffairsasapilotknowshiscoast。
""Yes，MonsieurleComte，"saidCerizetwithabow。"Ihavecometoaskyourintentions。"
""Ishallonlypaywhenthefancytakesme，"returnedMaxime，andherangforSuzon。"ItwasveryrashofClaparontobuyupbillsofminewithoutspeakingtomebeforehand。Iamsorryforhim，forhedidsoverywellforsuchalongtimeasamanofstrawforfriendsofmine。
Ialwayssaidthatamanmustreallybeweakinhisintellecttoworkformenthatstuffthemselveswithmillions，andtoservethemsofaithfullyforsuchlowwages。Andnowherehegivesmeanotherproofofhisstupidity!Yes，mendeservewhattheyget。Itisyourowndoingwhetheryougetacrownonyourforeheadorabulletthroughyourhead；whetheryouareamillionaireoraporter，justiceisalwaysdoneyou。Icannothelpit，mydearfellow；Imyselfamnotaking，I
sticktomyprinciples。Ihavenopityforthosethatputmetoexpenseordonotknowtheirbusinessascreditors——Suzon!mytea!Doyouseethisgentleman？"hecontinuedwhenthemancamein。"Well，youhaveallowedyourselftobetakenin，pooroldboy。Thisgentlemanisacreditor；yououghttohaveknownhimbyhisboots。Nofriendnorfoeofmine，northosethatareneitherandwantsomethingofme，cometoseemeonfoot——MydearM。Cerizet，doyouunderstand？Youwillnotwipeyourbootsonmycarpetagain"(lookingashespokeatthemudthatwhitenedtheenemy"ssoles)。"ConveymycomplimentsandsympathytoClaparon，poorbuffer，forIshallfilethisbusinessundertheletterZ。"