第13章

"Wereyouactuallygoingyondertotellonthem?"

Hedidn"tquiteknowhowtotakethat;buthesaid,hesitatingly:

"Ye-s."

"ThenIthinkyouareadamnedscoundrel!"

ItmadehimasgladasifIhadcalledhimanangel.

"Saythegoodwordsagain,brother!forsurelyyemeanthatyewouldnotbetraymeanIfailedofmyduty."

"Duty?Thereisnodutyinthematter,exceptthedutytokeepstillandletthosemengetaway.They"vedonearighteousdeed."

Helookedpleased;pleased,andtouchedwithapprehensionatthesametime.Helookedupanddowntheroadtoseethatnoonewascoming,andthensaidinacautiousvoice:

"Fromwhatlandcomeyou,brother,thatyouspeaksuchperilouswords,andseemnottobeafraid?"

"Theyarenotperilouswordswhenspokentooneofmyowncaste,Itakeit.YouwouldnottellanybodyIsaidthem?"

"I?Iwouldbedrawnasunderbywildhorsesfirst."

"Well,then,letmesaymysay.Ihavenofearsofyourrepeatingit.

Ithinkdevil"sworkhasbeendonelastnightuponthoseinnocentpoorpeople.Thatoldbarongotonlywhathedeserved.IfIhadmyway.allhiskindshouldhavethesameluck."

Fearanddepressionvanishedfromtheman"smanner,andgratefulnessandabraveanimationtooktheirplace:

"Eventhoughyoubeaspy,andyourwordsatrapformyundoing,yetaretheysuchrefreshmentthattohearthemagainandothersliketothem,Iwouldgotothegallowshappy,ashavinghadonegoodfeastatleastinastarvedlife.AndIwillsaymysaynow,andyemayreportitifyebesominded.Ihelpedtohangmyneighborsforthatitwereperiltomyownlifetoshowlackofzealinthemaster"scause;theothershelpedfornoneotherreason.Allrejoicetodaythatheisdead,butalldogoaboutseeminglysorrowing,andsheddingthehypocrite"stear,forinthatliessafety.Ihavesaidthewords,Ihavesaidthewords!theonlyonesthathaveevertastedgoodinmymouth,andtherewardofthattasteissufficient.Leadon,anyewill,beiteventothescaffold,forIamready."

Thereitwas,yousee.Amanisaman,atbottom.Wholeagesofabuseandoppressioncannotcrushthemanhoodclearoutofhim.Whoeverthinksitamistakeishimselfmistaken.Yes,thereisplentygoodenoughmaterialforarepublicinthemostdegradedpeoplethateverexisted——eventheRussians;plentyofmanhoodinthem——evenintheGermans——ifonecouldbutforceitoutofitstimidandsuspiciousprivacy,tooverthrowandtrampleinthemudanythronethateverwassetupandanynobilitythateversupportedit.Weshouldseecertainthingsyet,letushopeandbelieve.

First,amodifiedmonarchy,tillArthur"sdaysweredone,thenthedestructionofthethrone,nobilityabolished,everymemberofitboundouttosomeusefultrade,universalsuffrageinstituted,andthewholegovernmentplacedinthehandsofthemenandwomenofthenationtheretoremain.Yes,therewasnooccasiontogiveupmydreamyetawhile.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter31Chapter31-MarcoWEstrolledalonginasufficientlyindolentfashionnow,andtalked.WemustdisposeofabouttheamountoftimeitoughttotaketogotothelittlehamletofAbblasoureandputjusticeonthetrackofthosemurderersandgetbackhomeagain.AndmeantimeIhadanauxiliaryinterestwhichhadneverpaledyet,neverlostitsnoveltyformesinceIhadbeeninArthur"skingdom:thebehavior——bornofniceandexactsubdivisionsofcaste——ofchancepassers-bytowardeachother.Towardtheshavenmonkwhotrudgedalongwithhiscowltiltedbackandthesweatwashingdownhisfatjowls,thecoal-burnerwasdeeplyreverent;tothegentlemanhewasabject;withthesmallfarmerandthefreemechanichewascordialandgossipy;andwhenaslavepassedbywithacountenancerespectfullylowered,thischap"snosewasintheair——hecouldn"tevenseehim.Well,therearetimeswhenonewouldliketohangthewholehumanraceandfinishthefarce.

Presentlywestruckanincident.Asmallmobofhalf-nakedboysandgirlscametearingoutofthewoods,scaredandshrieking.Theeldestamongthemwerenotmorethantwelveorfourteenyearsold.Theyimploredhelp,buttheyweresobesidethemselvesthatwecouldn"tmakeoutwhatthematterwas.However,weplungedintothewood,theyskurryinginthelead,andthetroublewasquicklyrevealed:theyhadhangedalittlefellowwithabarkrope,andhewaskickingandstruggling,intheprocessofchokingtodeath.Werescuedhim,andfetchedhimaround.Itwassomemorehumannature;theadmiringlittlefolkimitatingtheirelders;theywereplayingmob,andhadachievedasuccesswhichpromisedtobeagooddealmoreseriousthantheyhadbargainedfor.

Itwasnotadullexcursionforme.Imanagedtoputinthetimeverywell.Imadevariousacquaintanceships,andinmyqualityofstrangerwasabletoaskasmanyquestionsasIwantedto.Athingwhichnaturallyinterestedme,asastatesman,wasthematterofwages.IpickedupwhatIcouldunderthatheadduringtheafternoon.Amanwhohasn"thadmuchexperience,anddoesn"tthink,isapttomeasureanation"sprosperityorlackofprosperitybythemeresizeoftheprevailingwages;ifthewagesbehigh,thenationisprosperous;iflow,itisn"t.Whichisanerror.Itisn"twhatsumyouget,it"showmuchyoucanbuywithit,that"stheimportantthing;andit"sthatthattellswhetheryourwagesarehighinfactoronlyhighinname.Icouldrememberhowitwasinthetimeofourgreatcivilwarinthenineteenthcentury.IntheNorthacarpentergotthreedollarsaday,goldvaluation;intheSouthhegotfifty——payableinConfederateshinplastersworthadollarabushel.IntheNorthasuitofoverallscostthreedollars——aday"swages;intheSouthitcostseventyfive——whichwastwodays"

wages.Otherthingswereinproportion.Consequently,wagesweretwiceashighintheNorthastheywereintheSouth,becausetheonewagehadthatmuchmorepurchasingpowerthantheotherhad.

Yes,Imadevariousacquaintancesinthehamletandathingthatgratifiedmeagooddealwastofindournewcoinsincirculation——lotsofmilrays,lotsofmills,lotsofcents,agoodmanynickels,andsomesilver;allthisamongtheartisansandcommonaltygenerally;yes,andevensomegold——butthatwasatthebank,thatistosay,thegoldsmith"s.IdroppedintherewhileMarco,thesonofMarco,washagglingwithashopkeeperoveraquarterofapoundofsalt,andaskedforchangeforatwenty-dollargoldpiece.Theyfurnishedit——thatis,aftertheyhadchewedthepiece,andrungitonthecounter,andtriedacidonit,andaskedmewhereI

gotit,andwhoIwas,andwhereIwasfrom,andwhereIwasgoingto,andwhenIexpectedtogetthere,andperhapsacoupleofhundredmorequestions;andwhentheygotaground,Iwentrightonandfurnishedthemalotofinformationvoluntarily;toldthemIownedadog,andhisnamewasWatch,andmyfirstwifewasaFreeWillBaptist,andhergrandfatherwasaProhibitionist,andIusedtoknowamanwhohadtwothumbsoneachhandandawartontheinsideofhisupperlip,anddiedinthehopeofagloriousresurrection,andsoon,andsoon,andsoon,tilleventhathungryvillagequestionerbegantolooksatisfied,andalsoashadeputout;buthehadtorespectamanofmyfinancialstrength,andsohedidn"tgivemeanylip,butInoticedhetookitoutofhisunderlings,whichwasaperfectlynaturalthingtodo.Yes,theychangedmytwenty,butI

judgeditstrainedthebankalittle,whichwasathingtobeexpected,foritwasthesameaswalkingintoapaltryvillagestoreinthenineteenthcenturyandrequiringthebossofittochangeatwothousand-dollarbillforyouallofasudden.Hecoulddoit,maybe;butatthesametimehewouldwonderhowasmallfarmerhappenedtobecarryingsomuchmoneyaroundinhispocket;whichwasprobablythisgoldsmith"sthought,too;forhefollowedmetothedoorandstoodtheregazingaftermewithreverentadmiration.

Ournewmoneywasnotonlyhandsomelycirculating,butitslanguagewasalreadygliblyinuse;thatistosay,peoplehaddroppedthenamesoftheformermoneys,andspokeofthingsasbeingworthsomanydollarsorcentsormillsormilraysnow.Itwasverygratifying.Wewereprogressing,thatwassure.

Igottoknowseveralmastermechanics,butaboutthemostinterestingfellowamongthemwastheblacksmith,Dowley.Hewasalivemanandabrisktalker,andhadtwojourneymenandthreeapprentices,andwasdoingaragingbusiness.Infact,hewasgettingrich,handoverfist,andwasvastlyrespected.Marcowasveryproudofhavingsuchamanforafriend.Hehadtakenmethereostensiblytoletmeseethebigestablishmentwhichboughtsomuchofhischarcoal,butreallytoletmeseewhateasyandalmostfamiliartermshewasonwiththisgreatman.DowleyandIfraternizedatonce;Ihadhadjustsuchpickedmen,splendidfellows,undermeintheColtArmsFactory.Iwasboundtoseemoreofhim,soIinvitedhimtocomeouttoMarco"sSunday,anddinewithus.Marcowasappalled,andheldhisbreath;andwhenthegrandeeaccepted,hewassogratefulthathealmostforgottobeastonishedatthecondescension.

Marco"sjoywasexuberant——butonlyforamoment;thenhegrewthoughtful,thensad;andwhenheheardmetellDowleyIshouldhaveDickon,thebossmason,andSmug,thebosswheelwright,outthere,too,thecoal-dustonhisfaceturnedtochalk,andhelosthisgrip.ButIknewwhatwasthematterwithhim;itwastheexpense.Hesawruinbeforehim;hejudgedthathisfinancialdayswerenumbered.However,onourwaytoinvitetheothers,Isaid:

"Youmustallowmetohavethesefriendscome;andyoumustalsoallowmetopaythecosts."

Hisfacecleared,andhesaidwithspirit:

"Butnotallofit,notallofit.Yecannotwellbearaburdenliketothisalone."

Istoppedhim,andsaid:

"Nowlet"sunderstandeachotheronthespot,oldfriend.Iamonlyafarmbailiff,itistrue;butIamnotpoor,nevertheless.Ihavebeenveryfortunatethisyear——youwouldbeastonishedtoknowhowIhavethriven.ItellyouthehonesttruthwhenIsayIcouldsquanderawayasmanyasadozenfeastslikethisandnevercareTHATfortheexpense!"

andIsnappedmyfingers.IcouldseemyselfriseafootatatimeinMarco"sestimation,andwhenIfetchedoutthoselastwordsIwasbecomeaverytowerforstyleandaltitude."Soyousee,youmustletmehavemyway.

Youcan"tcontributeacenttothisorgy,that"sSETTLED."

"It"sgrandandgoodofyou——"

"No,itisn"t.You"veopenedyourhousetoJonesandmeinthemostgenerousway;Joneswasremarkinguponitto-day,justbeforeyoucamebackfromthevillage;foralthoughhewouldn"tbelikelytosaysuchathingtoyou——becauseJonesisn"tatalker,andisdiffidentinsociety——hehasagoodheartandagrateful,andknowshowtoappreciateitwhenheiswelltreated;yes,youandyourwifehavebeenveryhospitabletowardus——"

"Ah,brother,"tisnothing——SUCHhospitality!"

"ButitISsomething;thebestamanhas,freelygiven,isalwayssomething,andisasgoodasaprincecando,andranksrightalongbesideit——forevenaprincecanbutdohisbest.Andsowe"llshoparoundandgetupthislayoutnow,anddon"tyouworryabouttheexpense.I"moneoftheworstspendthriftsthateverwasborn.Why,doyouknow,sometimesinasingleweekIspend——butnevermindaboutthat——you"dneverbelieveitanyway."

Andsowewentgaddingalong,droppinginhereandthere,pricingthings,andgossipingwiththeshopkeepersabouttheriot,andnowandthenrunningacrosspatheticremindersofit,inthepersonsofshunnedandtearfulandhouselessremnantsoffamilieswhosehomeshadbeentakenfromthemandtheirparentsbutcheredorhanged.TheraimentofMarcoandhiswifewasofcoarsetow-linenandlinsey-woolseyrespectively,andresembledtownshipmaps,itbeingmadeupprettyexclusivelyofpatcheswhichhadbeenadded,townshipbytownship,inthecourseoffiveorsixyears,untilhardlyahand"s-breadthoftheoriginalgarmentswassurvivingandpresent.

NowIwantedtofitthesepeopleoutwithnewsuits,onaccountofthatswellcompany,andIdidn"tknowjusthowtogetatit——withdelicacy,untilatlastitstruckmethatasIhadalreadybeenliberalininventingwordygratitudefortheking,itwouldbejustthethingtobackitupwithevidenceofasubstantialsort;soIsaid:

"AndMarco,there"sanotherthingwhichyoumustpermit——outofkindnessforJones——becauseyouwouldn"twanttooffendhim.Hewasveryanxioustotestifyhisappreciationinsomeway,butheissodiffidenthecouldn"tventureithimself,andsohebeggedmetobuysomelittlethingsandgivethemtoyouandDamePhyllisandlethimpayforthemwithoutyoureverknowingtheycamefromhim——youknowhowadelicatepersonfeelsaboutthatsortofthing——andsoIsaidIwould,andwewouldkeepmum.Well,hisideawas,anewoutfitofclothesforyouboth——"

"Oh,itiswastefulness!Itmaynotbe,brother,itmaynotbe.Considerthevastnessofthesum——"

"Hangthevastnessofthesum!Trytokeepquietforamoment,andseehowitwouldseem;abodycan"tgetinawordedgeways,youtalksomuch.

Yououghttocurethat,Marco;itisn"tgoodform,youknow,anditwillgrowonyouifyoudon"tcheckit.Yes,we"llstepinherenowandpricethisman"sstuff——anddon"tforgettoremembertonotletontoJonesthatyouknowhehadanythingtodowithit.Youcan"tthinkhowcuriouslysensitiveandproudheis.He"safarmer——prettyfairlywell-to-dofarmer——anI"mhisbailiff;BUT——theimaginationofthatman!Why,sometimeswhenheforgetshimselfandgetstoblowingoff,you"dthinkhewasoneoftheswellsoftheearth;andyoumightlistentohimahundredyearsandnevertakehimforafarmer——especiallyifhetalkedagriculture.

HeTHINKShe"saSheolofafarmer;thinkshe"soldGraybackfromWayback;

butbetweenyouandmeprivatelyhedon"tknowasmuchaboutfarmingashedoesaboutrunningakingdom——still,whateverhetalksabout,youwanttodropyourunderjawandlisten,thesameasifyouhadneverheardsuchincrediblewisdominallyourlifebefore,andwereafraidyoumightdiebeforeyougotenoughofit.ThatwillpleaseJones."

IttickledMarcotothemarrowtohearaboutsuchanoddcharacter;

butitalsopreparedhimforaccidents;andinmyexperiencewhenyoutravelwithakingwhoislettingontobesomethingelseandcan"trememberitmorethanabouthalfthetime,youcan"ttaketoomanyprecautions.

Thiswasthebeststorewehadcomeacrossyet;ithadeverythinginit,insmallquantities,fromanvilsanddrygoodsallthewaydowntofishandpinchbeckjewelry.IconcludedIwouldbunchmywholeinvoicerighthere,andnotgopricingaroundanymore.SoIgotridofMarco,bysendinghimofftoinvitethemasonandthewheelwright,whichleftthefieldfreetome.ForInevercaretodoathinginaquietway;it"sgottobetheatricalorIdon"ttakeanyinterestinit.Ishowedupmoneyenough,inacarelessway,tocorraltheshopkeeper"srespect,andthenIwrotedownalistofthethingsIwanted,andhandedittohimtoseeifhecouldreadit.Hecould,andwasproudtoshowthathecould.Hesaidhehadbeeneducatedbyapriest,andcouldbothreadandwrite.Heranitthrough,andremarkedwithsatisfactionthatitwasaprettyheavybill.Well,andsoitwas,foralittleconcernlikethat.Iwasnotonlyprovidingaswelldinner,butsomeoddsandendsofextras.IorderedthatthethingsbecartedoutanddeliveredatthedwellingofMarco,thesonofMarco,bySaturdayevening,andsendmethebillatdinner-timeSunday.HesaidIcoulddependuponhispromptnessandexactitude,itwastheruleofthehouse.Healsoobservedthathewouldthrowinacoupleofmiller-gunsfortheMarcosgratis——

thateverybodywasusingthemnow.Hehadamightyopinionofthatcleverdevice.Isaid:

"Andpleasefillthemuptothemiddlemark,too;andaddthattothebill."

Hewould,withpleasure.Hefilledthem,andItookthemwithme.I

couldn"tventuretotellhimthatthemiller-gunwasalittleinventionofmyown,andthatIhadofficiallyorderedthateveryshopkeeperinthekingdomkeepthemonhandandsellthematgovernmentprice——whichwasthemeresttrifle,andtheshopkeepergotthat,notthegovernment.Wefurnishedthemfornothing.

Thekinghadhardlymisseduswhenwegotbackatnightfall.HehadearlydroppedagainintohisdreamofagrandinvasionofGaulwiththewholestrengthofhiskingdomathisback,andtheafternoonhadslippedawaywithouthisevercomingtohimselfagain.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter32Chapter32-Dowley"sHumiliationWELL,whenthatcargoarrivedtowardsunset,Saturdayafternoon,IhadmyhandsfulltokeeptheMarcosfromfainting.TheyweresureJonesandIwereruinedpasthelp,andtheyblamedthemselvesasaccessoriestothisbankruptcy.Yousee,inadditiontothedinner-materials,whichcalledforasufficientlyroundsum,Ihadboughtalotofextrasforthefuturecomfortofthefamily:forinstance,abiglotofwheat,adelicacyasraretothetablesoftheirclassaswasice-creamtoahermit"s;alsoasizeabledealdinner-table;alsotwoentirepoundsofsalt,whichwasanotherpieceofextravaganceinthosepeople"seyes;alsocrockery,stools,theclothes,asmallcaskofbeer,andsoon.IinstructedtheMarcostokeepquietaboutthissumptuousness,soastogivemeachancetosurprisetheguestsandshowoffalittle.Concerningthenewclothes,thesimplecouplewerelikechildren;theywereupanddown,allnight,toseeifitwasn"tnearlydaylight,sothattheycouldputthemon,andtheywereintothematlastasmuchasanhourbeforedawnwasdue.Thentheirpleasure——nottosaydelirium——wassofreshandnovelandinspiringthatthesightofitpaidmewellfortheinterruptionswhichmysleephadsuffered.

Thekinghadsleptjustasusual——likethedead.TheMarcoscouldnotthankhimfortheirclothes,thatbeingforbidden;buttheytriedeverywaytheycouldthinkoftomakehimseehowgratefultheywere.Whichallwentfornothing:hedidn"tnoticeanychange.

ItturnedouttobeoneofthoserichandrarefalldayswhichisjustaJunedaytoneddowntoadegreewhereitisheaventobeoutofdoors.

Towardnoontheguestsarrived,andweassembledunderagreattreeandweresoonassociableasoldacquaintances.Eventheking"sreservemeltedalittle,thoughitwassomelittletroubletohimtoadjusthimselftothenameofJonesalongatfirst.Ihadaskedhimtotrytonotforgetthathewasafarmer;butIhadalsoconsidereditprudenttoaskhimtoletthethingstandatthat,andnotelaborateitany.Becausehewasjustthekindofpersonyoucoulddependontospoilalittlethinglikethatifyoudidn"twarnhim,histonguewassohandy,andhisspiritsowilling,andhisinformationsouncertain.

Dowleywasinfinefeather,andIearlygothimstarted,andthenadroitlyworkedhimaroundontohisownhistoryforatextandhimselfforahero,andthenitwasgoodtositthereandhearhimhum.Self-mademan,youknow.Theyknowhowtotalk.Theydodeservemorecreditthananyotherbreedofmen,yes,thatistrue;andtheyareamongtheveryfirsttofinditout,too.Hetoldhowhehadbegunlifeanorphanladwithoutmoneyandwithoutfriendsabletohelphim;howhehadlivedastheslavesofthemeanestmasterlived;howhisday"sworkwasfromsixteentoeighteenhourslong,andyieldedhimonlyenoughblackbreadtokeephiminahalf-fedcondition;howhisfaithfulendeavorsfinallyattractedtheattentionofagoodblacksmith,whocamenearknockinghimdeadwithkindnessbysuddenlyoffering,whenhewastotallyunprepared,totakehimashisboundapprenticefornineyearsandgivehimboardandclothesandteachhimthetrade——

or"mystery"asDowleycalledit.Thatwashisfirstgreatrise,hisfirstgorgeousstrokeoffortune;andyousawthathecouldn"tyetspeakofitwithoutasortofeloquentwonderanddelightthatsuchagildedpromotionshouldhavefallentothelotofacommonhumanbeing.Hegotnonewclothingduringhisapprenticeship,butonhisgraduationdayhismastertrickedhimoutinspang-newtow-linensandmadehimfeelunspeakablyrichandfine.

"Iremembermeofthatday!"thewheelwrightsangout,withenthusiasm.

"AndIlikewise!"criedthemason."Iwouldnotbelievetheywerethineown;infaithIcouldnot."

"Norother!"shoutedDowley,withsparklingeyes."Iwasliketolosemycharacter,theneighborswendingIhadmayhapbeenstealing.Itwasagreatday,agreatday;oneforgettethnotdayslikethat."

Yes,andhismasterwasafineman,andprosperous,andalwayshadagreatfeastofmeattwiceintheyear,andwithitwhitebread,truewheatenbread;infact,livedlikealord,sotospeak.AndintimeDowleysucceededtothebusinessandmarriedthedaughter.

"Andnowconsiderwhatiscometopass,"saidhe,impressively."Twotimesineverymonththereisfreshmeatuponmytable."Hemadeapausehere,toletthatfactsinkhome,thenadded——"andeighttimessaltmeat."

"Itiseventrue,"saidthewheelwright,withbatedbreath.

"Iknowitofmineownknowledge,"saidthemason,inthesamereverentfashion.

"OnmytableappearethwhitebreadeverySundayintheyear,"addedthemastersmith,withsolemnity."Ileaveittoyourownconsciences,friends,ifthisisnotalsotrue?"

"Bymyhead,yes,"criedthemason.

"Icantestifyit——andIdo,"saidthewheelwright.

"Andastofurniture,yeshallsayyourselveswhatmineequipmentis.

"Hewavedhishandinfinegestureofgrantingfrankandunhamperedfreedomofspeech,andadded:"Speakasyearemoved;speakasyewouldspeak;

anIwerenothere."

"Yehavefivestools,andofthesweetestworkmanshipatthat,albeityourfamilyisbutthree,"saidthewheelwright,withdeeprespect.

"Andsixwoodengoblets,andsixplattersofwoodandtwoofpewtertocatanddrinkfromwithal,"saidthemason,impressively."AndIsayitasknowingGodismyjudge,andwetarrynotherealway,butmustansweratthelastdayforthethingssaidinthebody,betheyfalseorbetheysooth."

"NowyeknowwhatmannerofmanIam,brotherJones,"saidthesmith,withafineandfriendlycondescension,"anddoubtlessyewouldlooktofindmeamanjealousofhisdueofrespectandbutsparingofoutgotostrangerstilltheirratingandqualitybeassured,buttroubleyourselfnot,asconcerningthat;wityewellyeshallfindmeamanthatregardethnotthesemattersbutiswillingtoreceiveanyheashisfellowandequalthatcarrietharightheartinhisbody,behisworldlyestatehowsoevermodest.Andintokenofit,hereismyhand;andIsaywithmyownmouthweareequals——equals"——andhesmiledaroundonthecompanywiththesatisfactionofagodwhoisdoingthehandsomeandgraciousthingandisquitewellawareofit.

Thekingtookthehandwithapoorlydisguisedreluctance,andletgoofitaswillinglyasaladyletsgoofafish;allofwhichhadagoodeffect,foritwasmistakenforanembarrassmentnaturaltoonewhowasbeingcalleduponbygreatness.

Thedamebroughtoutthetablenow,andsetitunderthetree.Itcausedavisiblestirofsurprise,itbeingbrandnewandasumptuousarticleofdeal.Butthesurpriserosehigherstillwhenthedame,withabodyoozingeasyindifferenceateverypore,buteyesthatgaveitallawaybyabsolutelyflamingwithvanity,slowlyunfoldedanactualsimon-puretableclothandspreadit.Thatwasanotchaboveeventheblacksmith"sdomesticgrandeurs,andithithimhard;youcouldseeit.ButMarcowasinParadise;youcouldseethat,too.Thenthedamebroughttwofinenewstools——whew!thatwasasensation;itwasvisibleintheeyesofeveryguest.Thenshebroughttwomore——ascalmlyasshecould.Sensationagain——withawedmurmurs.Againshebroughttwo——walkingonair,shewassoproud.Theguestswerepetrified,andthemasonmuttered:

"Thereisthataboutearthlypompswhichdothevermovetoreverence."

Asthedameturnedaway,Marcocouldn"thelpslappingontheclimaxwhilethethingwashot;sohesaidwithwhatwasmeantforalanguidcomposurebutwasapoorimitationofit:

"Thesesuffice;leavetherest."

Sothereweremoreyet!Itwasafineeffect.Icouldn"thaveplayedthehandbettermyself.

Fromthisout,themadampiledupthesurpriseswitharushthatfiredthegeneralastonishmentuptoahundredandfiftyintheshade,andatthesametimeparalyzedexpressionofitdowntogasped"Oh"s"and"Ah"s,"

andmuteupliftingsofhandsandeyes.Shefetchedcrockery——new,andplentyofit;newwoodengobletsandothertablefurniture;andbeer,fish,chicken,agoose,eggs,roastbeef,roastmutton,aham,asmallroastpig,andawealthofgenuinewhitewheatenbread.Takeitbyandlarge,thatspreadlaideverythingfarandawayintheshadethateverthatcrowdhadseenbefore.Andwhiletheysattherejustsimplystupefiedwithwonderandawe,Isortofwavedmyhandasifbyaccident,andthestorekeeper"ssonemergedfromspaceandsaidhehadcometocollect.

"That"sallright,"Isaid,indifferently."Whatistheamount?giveustheitems."

Thenhereadoffthisbill,whilethosethreeamazedmenlistened,andserenewavesofsatisfactionrolledovermysoulandalternatewavesofterrorandadmirationsurgedoverMarco"s:2poundssalt200

8dozenpintsbeer,inthewood800

3bushelswheat2,700

2poundsfish100

3hens400

1goose400

3dozeneggs150

1roastofbeef450

1roastofmutton400

1ham800

1suckingpig500

2crockerydinnersets6,000

2men"ssuitsandunderwear2,800

1stuffand1linsey-woolseygownandunderwear1,600

8woodengoblets800

Varioustablefurniture10,000

1dealtable3,000

8stools4,000

2millerguns,loaded3,000Heceased.Therewasapaleandawfulsilence.Notalimbstirred.Notanostrilbetrayedthepassageofbreath.

"Isthatall?"Iasked,inavoiceofthemostperfectcalmness.

"All,fairsir,savethatcertainmattersoflightmomentareplacedtogetherunderaheadhightsundries.Ifitwouldlikeyou,Iwillsepa——"

"Itisofnoconsequence,"Isaid,accompanyingthewordswithagestureofthemostutterindifference;"givemethegrandtotal,please."

Theclerkleanedagainstthetreetostayhimself,andsaid:

"Thirty-ninethousandonehundredandfiftymilrays!"

Thewheelwrightfelloffhisstool,theothersgrabbedthetabletosavethemselves,andtherewasadeepandgeneralejaculationof:

"Godbewithusinthedayofdisaster!"

Theclerkhastenedtosay:

"Myfatherchargethmetosayhecannothonorablyrequireyoutopayitallatthistime,andthereforeonlyprayethyou——"

Ipaidnomoreheedthanifitweretheidlebreeze,but,withanairofindifferenceamountingalmosttoweariness,gotoutmymoneyandtossedfourdollarsontothetable.Ah,youshouldhaveseenthemstare!

Theclerkwasastonishedandcharmed.Heaskedmetoretainoneofthedollarsassecurity,untilhecouldgototownand——Iinterrupted:

"What,andfetchbackninecents?Nonsense!Takethewhole.Keepthechange."

Therewasanamazedmurmurtothiseffect:

"VerilythisbeingisMADEofmoney!Hethrowethitawayevenasifitweredirt."

Theblacksmithwasacrushedman.

Theclerktookhismoneyandreeledawaydrunkwithfortune.IsaidtoMarcoandhiswife:

"Goodfolk,hereisalittletrifleforyou"——handingthemiller-gunsasifitwereamatterofnoconsequence,thougheachofthemcontainedfifteencentsinsolidcash;andwhilethepoorcreatureswenttopieceswithastonishmentandgratitude,Iturnedtotheothersandsaidascalmlyasonewouldaskthetimeofday:

"Well,ifweareallready,Ijudgethedinneris.Come,fallto."

Ah,well,itwasimmense;yes,itwasadaisy.Idon"tknowthatIeverputasituationtogetherbetter,orgothappierspectaculareffectsoutofthematerialsavailable.Theblacksmith——well,hewassimplymashed.

Land!Iwouldn"thavefeltwhatthatmanwasfeeling,foranythingintheworld.Herehehadbeenblowingandbraggingabouthisgrandmeat-feasttwiceayear,andhisfreshmeattwiceamonth,andhissaltmeattwiceaweek,andhiswhitebreadeverySundaytheyearround——allforafamilyofthree;theentirecostfortheyearnotabove69.2.6(sixty-ninecents,twomillsandsixmilrays),andallofasuddenherecomesalongamanwhoslashesoutnearlyfourdollarsonasingleblow-out;andnotonlythat,butactsasifitmadehimtiredtohandlesuchsmallsums.Yes,Dowleywasagooddealwilted,andshrunk-upandcollapsed;hehadtheaspectofabladder-balloonthat"sbeensteppedonbyacow.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter33Chapter33-SixthCenturyPoliticalEconomyHOWEVER,Imadeadeadsetathim,andbeforethefirstthirdofthedinnerwasreached,Ihadhimhappyagain.Itwaseasytodo——inacountryofranksandcastes.Yousee,inacountrywheretheyhaveranksandcastes,amanisn"teveraman,heisonlypartofaman,hecan"tevergethisfullgrowth.Youproveyoursuperiorityoverhiminstation,orrank,orfortune,andthat"stheendofit——heknucklesdown.Youcan"tinsulthimafterthat.No,Idon"tmeanquitethat;ofcourseyouCANinsulthim,Ionlymeanit"sdifficult;andso,unlessyou"vegotalotofuselesstimeonyourhandsitdoesn"tpaytotry.Ihadthesmith"sreverencenow,becauseIwasapparentlyimmenselyprosperousandrich;IcouldhavehadhisadorationifIhadhadsomelittlegimcracktitleofnobility.Andnotonlyhis,butanycommoner"sintheland,thoughhewerethemightiestproductionofalltheages,inintellect,worth,andcharacter,andIbankruptinallthree.Thiswastoremainso,aslongasEnglandshouldexistintheearth.Withthespiritofprophecyuponme,IcouldlookintothefutureandseehererectstatuesandmonumentstoherunspeakableGeorgesandotherroyalandnobleclothes-horses,andleaveunhonoredthecreatorsofthisworld——afterGod——Gutenburg,Watt,Arkwright,Whitney,Morse,Stephenson,Bell.

Thekinggothiscargoaboard,andthen,thetalknotturninguponbattle,conquest,oriron-cladduel,hedulleddowntodrowsinessandwentofftotakeanap.Mrs.Marcoclearedthetable,placedthebeerkeghandy,andwentawaytoeatherdinnerofleavingsinhumbleprivacy,andtherestofussoondriftedintomattersnearanddeartotheheartsofoursort——businessandwages,ofcourse.Atafirstglance,thingsappearedtobeexceedingprosperousinthislittletributarykingdom——whoselordwasKingBagdemagus——ascomparedwiththestateofthingsinmyownregion.

Theyhadthe"protection"systeminfullforcehere,whereaswewereworkingalongdowntowardfree-trade,byeasystages,andwerenowabouthalfway.

Beforelong,DowleyandIweredoingallthetalking,theothershungrilylistening.Dowleywarmedtohiswork,snuffedanadvantageintheair,andbegantoputquestionswhichheconsideredprettyawkwardonesforme,andtheydidhavesomethingofthatlook:

"Inyourcountry,brother,whatisthewageofamasterbailiff,masterhind,carter,shepherd,swineherd?"

"Twenty-fivemilraysaday;thatistosay,aquarterofacent.

Thesmith"sfacebeamedwithjoy.Hesaid:

"Withustheyareallowedthedoubleofit!Andwhatmayamechanicget——carpenter,dauber,mason,painter,blacksmith,wheelwright,andthelike?"

"Ontheaverage,fiftymilrays;halfacentaday."

"Ho-ho!Withustheyareallowedahundred!Withusanygoodmechanicisallowedacentaday!Icountoutthetailor,butnottheothers——

theyareallallowedacentaday,andindrivingtimestheygetmore——

yes,uptoahundredandtenandevenfifteenmilraysaday.I"vepaidahundredandfifteenmyself,withintheweek."Rahforprotection——toSheolwithfree-trade!"

Andhisfaceshoneuponthecompanylikeasunburst.ButIdidn"tscareatall.Iriggedupmypile-driver,andallowedmyselffifteenminutestodrivehimintotheearth——drivehimALLin——drivehimintillnoteventhecurveofhisskullshouldshowaboveground.HereisthewayI

startedinonhim.Iasked:

"Whatdoyoupayapoundforsalt?"

"Ahundredmilrays."

"Wepayforty.Whatdoyoupayforbeefandmutton——whenyoubuyit?"

Thatwasaneathit;itmadethecolorcome.

"Itvariethsomewhat,butnotmuch;onemaysay75milraysthepound."

"WEpay33.Whatdoyoupayforeggs?"

"Fiftymilraysthedozen."