第9章

"Oh,none.Onemayfail,ofcourse;andonemayalsosucceed.Onecantry,andIamreadytochanceit.Ihavemyconditions?"

"Theseandallothersyemayname.Iwillissuecommandmenttothateffect."

"Wait,"saidMerlin,withanevilsmile."Yewitthathethatwouldbreakthisspellmustknowthatspirit"sname?"

"Yes,Iknowhisname."

"Andwityoualsothattoknowitskillsnotofitself,butyemustlikewisepronounceit?Ha-ha!Knewyethat?"

"Yes,Iknewthat,too."

"Youhadthatknowledge!Artafool?Areyemindedtoutterthatnameanddie?"

"Utterit?Whycertainly.IwouldutteritifitwasWelsh."

"Yeareevenadeadman,then;andIgototellArthur."

"That"sallright.Takeyourgripsackandgetalong.ThethingforYOU

todoistogohomeandworktheweather,JohnW.Merlin."

Itwasahomeshot,anditmadehimwince;forhewastheworstweather-failureinthekingdom.Wheneverheorderedupthedanger-signalsalongthecoasttherewasaweek"sdeadcalm,sure,andeverytimeheprophesiedfairweatheritrainedbrickbats.ButIkepthimintheweatherbureaurightalong,tounderminehisreputation.However,thatshotraisedhisbile,andinsteadofstartinghometoreportmydeath,hesaidhewouldremainandenjoyit.

Mytwoexpertsarrivedintheevening,andprettywellfagged,fortheyhadtraveleddoubletides.Theyhadpack-mulesalong,andhadbroughteverythingIneeded——tools,pump,leadpipe,Greekfire,sheavesofbigrockets,romancandles,coloredfiresprays,electricapparatus,andalotofsundries——everythingnecessaryforthestateliestkindofamiracle.Theygottheirsupperandanap,andaboutmidnightwesalliedoutthroughasolitudesowhollyvacantandcompletethatitquiteoverpassedtherequiredconditions.

Wetookpossessionofthewellanditssurroundings.Myboyswereexpertsinallsortsofthings,fromthestoningupofawelltotheconstructingofamathematicalinstrument.Anhourbeforesunrisewehadthatleakmendedinship-shapefashion,andthewaterbegantorise.Thenwestowedourfireworksinthechapel,lockeduptheplace,andwenthometobed.

Beforethenoonmasswasover,wewereatthewellagain;fortherewasadealtodoyet,andIwasdeterminedtospringthemiraclebeforemidnight,forbusinessreasons:forwhereasamiracleworkedfortheChurchonaweek-dayisworthagooddeal,itisworthsixtimesasmuchifyougetitinonaSunday.Inninehoursthewaterhadrisentoitscustomarylevel——thatistosay,itwaswithintwenty-threefeetofthetop.Weputinalittleironpump,oneofthefirstturnedoutbymyworksnearthecapital;weboredintoastonereservoirwhichstoodagainsttheouterwallofthewell-chamberandinsertedasectionofleadpipethatwaslongenoughtoreachtothedoorofthechapelandprojectbeyondthethreshold,wherethegushingwaterwouldbevisibletothetwohundredandfiftyacresofpeopleIwasintendingshouldbepresentontheflatplaininfrontofthislittleholyhillockatthepropertime.

Weknockedtheheadoutofanemptyhogsheadandhoistedthishogsheadtotheflatroofofthechapel,whereweclampeditdownfast,pouredingunpowdertillitlaylooselyaninchdeeponthebottom,thenwestooduprocketsinthehogsheadasthickastheycouldlooselystand,allthedifferentbreedsofrocketsthereare;andtheymadeaportlyandimposingsheaf,Icantellyou.Wegroundedthewireofapocketelectricalbatteryinthatpowder,weplacedawholemagazineofGreekfireoneachcorneroftheroof——blueononecorner,greenonanother,redonanother,andpurpleonthelast——andgroundedawireineach.

Abouttwohundredyardsoff,intheflat,webuiltapenofscantlings,aboutfourfeethigh,andlaidplanksonit,andsomadeaplatform.Wecovereditwithswelltapestriesborrowedfortheoccasion,andtoppeditoffwiththeabbot"sownthrone.Whenyouaregoingtodoamiracleforanignorantrace,youwanttogetineverydetailthatwillcount;

youwanttomakeallthepropertiesimpressivetothepubliceye;youwanttomakematterscomfortableforyourheadguest;thenyoucanturnyourselflooseandplayyoureffectsforalltheyareworth.Iknowthevalueofthesethings,forIknowhumannature.Youcan"tthrowtoomuchstyleintoamiracle.Itcoststrouble,andwork,andsometimesmoney;butitpaysintheend.Well,webroughtthewirestothegroundatthechapel,andthenbroughtthemunderthegroundtotheplatform,andhidthebatteriesthere.Weputaropefenceahundredfeetsquarearoundtheplatformtokeepoffthecommonmultitude,andthatfinishedthework.Myideawas,doorsopenat10:30,performancetobeginat11:25sharp.IwishedIcouldchargeadmission,butofcoursethatwouldn"tanswer.Iinstructedmyboystobeinthechapelasearlyas10,beforeanybodywasaround,andbereadytomanthepumpsatthepropertime,andmakethefurfly.Thenwewenthometosupper.

Thenewsofthedisastertothewellhadtraveledfarbythistime;

andnowfortwoorthreedaysasteadyavalancheofpeoplehadbeenpouringintothevalley.Thelowerendofthevalleywasbecomeonehugecamp;

weshouldhaveagoodhouse,noquestionaboutthat.Crierswenttheroundsearlyintheeveningandannouncedthecomingattempt,whichputeverypulseuptofeverheat.Theygavenoticethattheabbotandhisofficialsuitewouldmoveinstateandoccupytheplatformat10:30,uptowhichtimealltheregionwhichwasundermybanmustbeclear;thebellswouldthenceasefromtolling,andthissignshouldbepermissiontothemultitudestocloseinandtaketheirplaces.

Iwasattheplatformandallreadytodothehonorswhentheabbot"ssolemnprocessionhoveinsight——whichitdidnotdotillitwasnearlytotheropefence,becauseitwasastarlessblacknightandnotorchespermitted.WithitcameMerlin,andtookafrontseatontheplatform;

hewasasgoodashiswordforonce.Onecouldnotseethemultitudesbankedtogetherbeyondtheban,buttheywerethere,justthesame.Themomentthebellsstopped,thosebankedmassesbrokeandpouredoverthelinelikeavastblackwave,andforasmuchasahalfhouritcontinuedtoflow,andthenitsolidifieditself,andyoucouldhavewalkeduponapavementofhumanheadsto——well,miles.

Wehadasolemnstage-wait,now,forabouttwentyminutes——athingIhadcountedonforeffect;itisalwaysgoodtoletyouraudiencehaveachancetoworkupitsexpectancy.Atlength,outofthesilenceanobleLatinchant——men"svoices——brokeandswelledupandrolledawayintothenight,amajestictideofmelody.Ihadputthatup,too,anditwasoneofthebesteffectsIeverinvented.WhenitwasfinishedIstoodupontheplatformandextendedmyhandsabroad,fortwominutes,withmyfaceuplifted——thatalwaysproducesadeadhush——andthenslowlypronouncedthisghastlywordwithakindofawfulnesswhichcausedhundredstotremble,andmanywomentofaint:

"Constantinopolitanischerdudelsackspfeifenmachersgesellschafft!"

JustasIwasmoaningouttheclosinghunksofthatword,Itouchedoffoneofmyelectricconnectionsandallthatmurkyworldofpeoplestoodrevealedinahideousblueglare!Itwasimmense——thateffect!Lotsofpeopleshrieked,womencurledupandquitineverydirection,foundlingscollapsedbyplatoons.Theabbotandthemonkscrossedthemselvesnimblyandtheirlipsflutteredwithagitatedprayers.Merlinheldhisgrip,buthewasastonishedcleardowntohiscorns;hehadneverseenanythingtobeginwiththat,before.Nowwasthetimetopileintheeffects.Iliftedmyhandsandgroanedoutthisword——asitwereinagony:

"Nihilistendynamittheaterkaestchenssprengungsattentaetsversuchungen!"——

andturnedontheredfire!YoushouldhaveheardthatAtlanticofpeoplemoanandhowlwhenthatcrimsonhelljoinedtheblue!AftersixtysecondsIshouted:

"Transvaaltruppentropentransporttrampelthiertreibertrauungsthraenentragoedie!"——

andlitupthegreenfire!Afterwaitingonlyfortysecondsthistime,Ispreadmyarmsabroadandthunderedoutthedevastatingsyllablesofthiswordofwords:

"Mekkamuselmannenmassenmenchenmoerdermohrenmuttermarmormonumentenmacher!"——

andwhirledonthepurpleglare!Theretheywere,allgoingatonce,red,blue,green,purple!——fourfuriousvolcanoespouringvastcloudsofradiantsmokealoft,andspreadingablindingrainbowednoondaytothefurthestconfinesofthatvalley.Inthedistanceonecouldseethatfellowonthepillarstandingrigidagainstthebackgroundofsky,hisseesawstoppedforthefirsttimeintwentyyears.Iknewtheboyswereatthepumpnowandready.SoIsaidtotheabbot:

"Thetimeiscome,Father.Iamabouttopronouncethedreadnameandcommandthespelltodissolve.Youwanttobraceup,andtakeholdofsomething."

ThenIshoutedtothepeople:"Behold,inanotherminutethespellwillbebroken,ornomortalcanbreakit.Ifitbreak,allwillknowit,foryouwillseethesacredwatergushfromthechapeldoor!"

Istoodafewmoments,toletthehearershaveachancetospreadmyannouncementtothosewhocouldn"thear,andsoconveyittothefurthestranks,thenImadeagrandexhibitionofextraposturingandgesturing,andshouted:

"Lo,Icommandthefellspiritthatpossessestheholyfountaintonowdisgorgeintotheskiesalltheinfernalfiresthatstillremaininhim,andstraightwaydissolvehisspellandfleehencetothepit,theretolieboundathousandyears.ByhisowndreadnameIcommandit——BGWJJILLIGKKK!"

ThenItouchedoffthehogsheadofrockets,andavastfountainofdazzlinglancesoffirevomiteditselftowardthezenithwithahissingrush,andburstinmid-skyintoastormofflashingjewels!Onemightygroanofterrorstartedupfromthemassedpeople——thensuddenlybrokeintoawildhosannahofjoy——forthere,fairandplainintheuncannyglare,theysawthefreedwaterleapingforth!Theoldabbotcouldnotspeakaword,fortearsandthechokingsinhisthroat;withoututteranceofanysort,hefoldedmeinhisarmsandmashedme.Itwasmoreeloquentthanspeech.Andhardertogetover,too,inacountrywheretherewerereallynodoctorsthatwereworthadamagednickel.

Youshouldhaveseenthoseacresofpeoplethrowthemselvesdowninthatwaterandkissit;kissit,andpetit,andfondleit,andtalktoitasifitwerealive,andwelcomeitbackwiththedearnamestheygavetheirdarlings,justasifithadbeenafriendwhowaslonggoneawayandlost,andwascomehomeagain.Yes,itwasprettytosee,andmademethinkmoreofthemthanIhaddonebefore.

IsentMerlinhomeonashutter.HehadcavedinandgonedownlikealandslidewhenIpronouncedthatfearfulname,andhadnevercometosince.Heneverhadheardthatnamebefore,——neitherhadI——buttohimitwastherightone.Anyjumblewouldhavebeentherightone.Headmitted,afterward,thatthatspirit"sownmothercouldnothavepronouncedthatnamebetterthanIdid.HenevercouldunderstandhowIsurvivedit,andIdidn"ttellhim.Itisonlyyoungmagiciansthatgiveawayasecretlikethat.Merlinspentthreemonthsworkingenchantmentstotrytofindoutthedeeptrickofhowtopronouncethatnameandoutliveit.Buthedidn"tarrive.

WhenIstartedtothechapel,thepopulaceuncoveredandfellbackreverentlytomakeawidewayforme,asifIhadbeensomekindofasuperiorbeing——andIwas.Iwasawareofthat.Itookalonganightshiftofmonks,andtaughtthemthemysteryofthepump,andsetthemtowork,foritwasplainthatagoodpartofthepeopleoutthereweregoingtositupwiththewaterallnight,consequentlyitwasbutrightthattheyshouldhavealltheywantedofit.Tothosemonksthatpumpwasagooddealofamiracleitself,andtheywerefullofwonderoverit;andofadmiration,too,oftheexceedingeffectivenessofitsperformance.

Itwasagreatnight,animmensenight.Therewasreputationinit.

Icouldhardlygettosleepforgloryingoverit.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter24Chapter24-ARivalMagicianMYinfluenceintheValleyofHolinesswassomethingprodigiousnow.Itseemedworthwhiletotrytoturnittosomevaluableaccount.Thethoughtcametomethenextmorning,andwassuggestedbymyseeingoneofmyknightswhowasinthesoaplinecomeridingin.Accordingtohistory,themonksofthisplacetwocenturiesbeforehadbeenworldlymindedenoughtowanttowash.Itmightbethattherewasaleavenofthisunrighteousnessstillremaining.SoIsoundedaBrother:

"Wouldn"tyoulikeabath?"

Heshudderedatthethought——thethoughtoftheperilofittothewell——buthesaidwithfeeling:

"Oneneedsnottoaskthatofapoorbodywhohasnotknownthatblessedrefreshmentsiththathewasaboy.WouldGodImightwashme!butitmaynotbe,fairsir,temptmenot;itisforbidden."

AndthenhesighedinsuchasorrowfulwaythatIwasresolvedheshouldhaveatleastonelayerofhisrealestateremoved,ifitsizedupmywholeinfluenceandbankruptedthepile.SoIwenttotheabbotandaskedforapermitforthisBrother.Heblenchedattheidea——Idon"tmeanthatyoucouldseehimblench,forofcourseyoucouldn"tseeitwithoutyouscrapedhim,andIdidn"tcareenoughaboutittoscrapehim,butIknewtheblenchwasthere,justthesame,andwithinabook-cover"sthicknessofthesurface,too——blenched,andtrembled.Hesaid:

"Ah,son,askaughtelsethouwilt,anditisthine,andfreelygrantedoutofagratefulheart——butthis,oh,this!Wouldyoudriveawaytheblessedwateragain?"

"No,Father,Iwillnotdriveitaway.Ihavemysteriousknowledgewhichteachesmethattherewasanerrorthatothertimewhenitwasthoughttheinstitutionofthebathbanishedthefountain."Alargeinterestbegantoshowupintheoldman"sface."Myknowledgeinformsmethatthebathwasinnocentofthatmisfortune,whichwascausedbyquiteanothersortofsin."

"Thesearebravewords——but——butrightwelcome,iftheybetrue."

"Theyaretrue,indeed.Letmebuildthebathagain,Father.Letmebuilditagain,andthefountainshallflowforever."

"Youpromisethis?——youpromiseit?Saytheword——sayyoupromiseit!"

"Idopromiseit."

"ThenwillIhavethefirstbathmyself!Go——getyetoyourwork.

Tarrynot,tarrynot,butgo."

Iandmyboyswereatwork,straightoff.Theruinsoftheoldbathwerethereyetinthebasementofthemonastery,notastonemissing.Theyhadbeenleftjustso,alltheselifetimes,andavoidedwithapiousfear,asthingsaccursed.Intwodayswehaditalldoneandthewaterin——

aspaciouspoolofclearpurewaterthatabodycouldswimin.Itwasrunningwater,too.Itcamein,andwentout,throughtheancientpipes.Theoldabbotkepthisword,andwasthefirsttotryit.Hewentdownblackandshaky,leavingthewholeblackcommunityabovetroubledandworriedandfullofbodings;buthecamebackwhiteandjoyful,andthegamewasmade!

anothertriumphscored.

ItwasagoodcampaignthatwemadeinthatValleyofHoliness,andIwasverywellsatisfied,andreadytomoveonnow,butIstruckadisappointment.

Icaughtaheavycold,anditstartedupanoldlurkingrheumatismofmine.

Ofcoursetherheumatismhuntedupmyweakestplaceandlocateditselfthere.Thiswastheplacewheretheabbotputhisarmsaboutmeandmashedme,whattimehewasmovedtotestifyhisgratitudetomewithanembrace.

WhenatlastIgotout,Iwasashadow.Buteverybodywasfullofattentionsandkindnesses,andthesebroughtcheerbackintomylife,andweretherightmedicinetohelpaconvalescentswiftlyuptowardhealthandstrengthagain;soIgainedfast.

Sandywaswornoutwithnursing;soImadeupmymindtoturnoutandgoacruisealone,leavingheratthenunnerytorestup.Myideawastodisguisemyselfasafreemanofpeasantdegreeandwanderthroughthecountryaweekortwoonfoot.Thiswouldgivemeachancetoeatandlodgewiththelowliestandpoorestclassoffreecitizensonequalterms.Therewasnootherwaytoinformmyselfperfectlyoftheireverydaylifeandtheoperationofthelawsuponit.IfIwentamongthemasagentleman,therewouldberestraintsandconventionalitieswhichwouldshutmeoutfromtheirprivatejoysandtroubles,andIshouldgetnofurtherthantheoutsideshell.

OnemorningIwasoutonalongwalktogetupmuscleformytrip,andhadclimbedtheridgewhichborderedthenorthernextremityofthevalley,whenIcameuponanartificialopeninginthefaceofalowprecipice,andrecognizeditbyitslocationasahermitagewhichhadoftenbeenpointedouttomefromadistanceasthedenofahermitofhighrenownfordirtandausterity.IknewhehadlatelybeenofferedasituationintheGreatSahara,wherelionsandsandfliesmadethehermit-lifepeculiarlyattractiveanddifficult,andhadgonetoAfricatotakepossession,soIthoughtIwouldlookinandseehowtheatmosphereofthisdenagreedwithitsreputation.

Mysurprisewasgreat:theplacewasnewlysweptandscoured.Thentherewasanothersurprise.BackinthegloomofthecavernIheardtheclinkofalittlebell,andthenthisexclamation:

"HelloCentral!Isthisyou,Camelot?——Behold,thoumaystgladthyheartanthouhastfaithtobelievethewonderfulwhenthatitcomethinunexpectedguiseandmakethitselfmanifestinimpossibleplaces——herestandethinthefleshhismightinessTheBoss,andwiththineownearsshallyehearhimspeak!"

Nowwhataradicalreversalofthingsthiswas;whatajumblingtogetherofextravagantincongruities;whatafantasticconjunctionofoppositesandirreconcilables——thehomeofthebogusmiraclebecomethehomeofarealone,thedenofamediaevalhermitturnedintoatelephoneoffice!

Thetelephoneclerksteppedintothelight,andIrecognizedoneofmyyoungfellows.Isaid:

"Howlonghasthisofficebeenestablishedhere,Ulfius?"

"Butsincemidnight,fairSirBoss,anitpleaseyou.Wesawmanylightsinthevalley,andsojudgeditwelltomakeastation,forthatwheresomanylightsbeneedsmusttheyindicateatownofgoodlysize."

"Quiteright.Itisn"tatowninthecustomarysense,butit"sagoodstand,anyway.Doyouknowwhereyouare?"

"OfthatIhavehadnotimetomakeinquiry;forwhenasmycomradeshipmovedhenceupontheirlabors,leavingmeincharge,Igotmetoneededrest,purposingtoinquirewhenIwaked,andreporttheplace"snametoCamelotforrecord."

"Well,thisistheValleyofHoliness."

Itdidn"ttake;Imean,hedidn"tstartatthename,asIhadsupposedhewould.Hemerelysaid:

"Iwillsoreportit."

"Why,thesurroundingregionsarefilledwiththenoiseoflatewondersthathavehappenedhere!Youdidn"thearofthem?"

"Ah,yewillrememberwemovebynight,andavoidspeechwithall.WelearnnaughtbutthatwegetbythetelephonefromCamelot."

"WhyTHEYknowallaboutthisthing.Haven"ttheytoldyouanythingaboutthegreatmiracleoftherestorationofaholyfountain?"

"Oh,THAT?Indeedyes.ButthenameofTHISvalleydothwoundilydifferfromthenameofTHATone;indeedtodifferwiderwerenotpos——"

"Whatwasthatname,then?"

"TheValleyofHellishness."

"THATexplainsit.Confoundatelephone,anyway.Itistheverydemonforconveyingsimilaritiesofsoundthataremiraclesofdivergencefromsimilarityofsense.Butnomatter,youknowthenameoftheplacenow.

CallupCamelot."

Hedidit,andhadClarencesentfor.Itwasgoodtohearmyboy"svoiceagain.Itwaslikebeinghome.Aftersomeaffectionateinterchanges,andsomeaccountofmylateillness,Isaid:

"Whatisnew?"

"Thekingandqueenandmanyofthecourtdostarteveninthishour,togotoyourvalleytopaypioushomagetothewatersyehaverestored,andcleansethemselvesofsin,andseetheplacewheretheinfernalspiritspoutedtruehell-flamestotheclouds——anyelistensharplyyemayhearmewinkandhearmelikewisesmileasmile,sith"twasIthatmadeselectionofthoseflamesfromoutourstockandsentthembyyourorder."

"Doesthekingknowthewaytothisplace?"

"Theking?——no,nortoanyotherinhisrealms,mayhap;buttheladsthatholpyouwithyourmiraclewillbehisguideandleadtheway,andappointtheplacesforrestsatnoonsandsleepsatnight."

"Thiswillbringthemhere——when?"

"Mid-afternoon,orlater,thethirdday."

"Anythingelseinthewayofnews?"

"Thekinghathbeguntheraisingofthestandingarmyyesuggestedtohim;oneregimentiscompleteandofficered."

"Themischief!Iwantedamainhandinthatmyself.Thereisonlyonebodyofmeninthekingdomthatarefittedtoofficeraregulararmy."

"Yes——andnowyewillmarveltoknowthere"snotsomuchasoneWestPointerinthatregiment."

"Whatareyoutalkingabout?Areyouinearnest?"

"ItistrulyasIhavesaid."

"Why,thismakesmeuneasy.Whowerechosen,andwhatwasthemethod?

Competitiveexamination?"

"Indeed,Iknownaughtofthemethod.Ibutknowthis——theseofficersbeallofnoblefamily,andareborn——whatisityoucallit?——chuckleheads."

"There"ssomethingwrong,Clarence."

"Comfortyourself,then;fortwocandidatesforalieutenancydotravelhencewiththeking——youngnoblesboth——andifyoubutwaitwhereyouareyouwillhearthemquestioned."

"Thatisnewstothepurpose.IwillgetoneWestPointerin,anyway.

Mountamanandsendhimtothatschoolwithamessage;lethimkillhorses,ifnecessary,buthemustbetherebeforesunsetto-nightandsay——"

"Thereisnoneed.Ihavelaidagroundwiretotheschool.Pritheeletmeconnectyouwithit."

Itsoundedgood!Inthisatmosphereoftelephonesandlightningcommunicationwithdistantregions,Iwasbreathingthebreathoflifeagainafterlongsuffocation.Irealized,then,whatacreepy,dull,inanimatehorrorthislandhadbeentomealltheseyears,andhowIhadbeeninsuchastifledconditionofmindastohavegrownusedtoitalmostbeyondthepowertonoticeit.

IgavemyordertothesuperintendentoftheAcademypersonally.Ialsoaskedhimtobringmesomepaperandafountainpenandaboxorsoofsafetymatches.Iwasgettingtiredofdoingwithouttheseconveniences.

Icouldhavethemnow,asIwasn"tgoingtoweararmoranymoreatpresent,andthereforecouldgetatmypockets.

WhenIgotbacktothemonastery,Ifoundathingofinterestgoingon.Theabbotandhismonkswereassembledinthegreathall,observingwithchildishwonderandfaiththeperformancesofanewmagician,afresharrival.Hisdresswastheextremeofthefantastic;asshowyandfoolishasthesortofthinganIndianmedicine-manwears.Hewasmowing,andmumbling,andgesticulating,anddrawingmysticalfiguresintheairandonthefloor,——theregularthing,youknow.HewasacelebrityfromAsia——sohesaid,andthatwasenough.Thatsortofevidencewasasgoodasgold,andpassedcurrenteverywhere.

Howeasyandcheapitwastobeagreatmagicianonthisfellow"sterms.

Hisspecialtywastotellyouwhatanyindividualonthefaceoftheglobewasdoingatthemoment;andwhathehaddoneatanytimeinthepast,andwhathewoulddoatanytimeinthefuture.HeaskedifanywouldliketoknowwhattheEmperoroftheEastwasdoingnow?Thesparklingeyesandthedelightedrubbingofhandsmadeeloquentanswer——thisreverendcrowdWOULDliketoknowwhatthatmonarchwasat,justasthismoment.

Thefraudwentthroughsomemoremummery,andthenmadegraveannouncement:

"ThehighandmightyEmperoroftheEastdothatthismomentputmoneyinthepalmofaholybeggingfriar——one,two,threepieces,andtheybeallofsilver."

Abuzzofadmiringexclamationsbrokeout,allaround:

"Itismarvelous!""Wonderful!""Whatstudy,whatlabor,tohaveacquiredasoamazingpowerasthis!"

WouldtheyliketoknowwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing?Yes.

HetoldthemwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing.ThenhetoldthemwhattheSultanofEgyptwasat;alsowhattheKingoftheRemoteSeaswasabout.Andsoonandsoon;andwitheachnewmarveltheastonishmentathisaccuracyrosehigherandhigher.Theythoughthemustsurelystrikeanuncertainplacesometime;butno,heneverhadtohesitate,healwaysknew,andalwayswithunerringprecision.IsawthatifthisthingwentonIshouldlosemysupremacy,thisfellowwouldcapturemyfollowing,Ishouldbeleftoutinthecold.Imustputacoginhiswheel,anddoitrightaway,too.Isaid:

"IfImightask,Ishouldverygreatlyliketoknowwhatacertainpersonisdoing."

"Speak,andfreely.Iwilltellyou."

"Itwillbedifficult——perhapsimpossible."

"Myartknowethnotthatword.Themoredifficultitis,themorecertainlywillIrevealittoyou."

Yousee,Iwasworkinguptheinterest.Itwasgettingprettyhigh,too;youcouldseethatbythecraningnecksallaround,andthehalf-suspendedbreathing.SonowIclimaxedit:

"Ifyoumakenomistake——ifyoutellmetrulywhatIwanttoknow——Iwillgiveyoutwohundredsilverpennies."

"Thefortuneismine!Iwilltellyouwhatyouwouldknow."

"ThentellmewhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand."

"Ah-h!"Therewasageneralgaspofsurprise.Ithadnotoccurredtoanybodyinthecrowd——thatsimpletrickofinquiringaboutsomebodywhowasn"ttenthousandmilesaway.Themagicianwashithard;itwasanemergencythathadneverhappenedinhisexperiencebefore,anditcorkedhim;hedidn"tknowhowtomeetit.Helookedstunned,confused;hecouldn"tsayaword."Come,"Isaid,"whatareyouwaitingfor?Isitpossibleyoucananswerup,rightoff,andtellwhatanybodyontheothersideoftheearthisdoing,andyetcan"ttellwhatapersonisdoingwhoisn"tthreeyardsfromyou?PersonsbehindmeknowwhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand——

theywillindorseyouifyoutellcorrectly."Hewasstilldumb."Verywell,I"lltellyouwhyyoudon"tspeakupandtell;itisbecauseyoudon"tknow.YOUamagician!Goodfriends,thistrampisamerefraudandliar."

Thisdistressedthemonksandterrifiedthem.Theywerenotusedtohearingtheseawfulbeingscallednames,andtheydidnotknowwhatmightbetheconsequence.Therewasadeadsilencenow;superstitiousbodingswereineverymind.Themagicianbegantopullhiswitstogether,andwhenhepresentlysmiledaneasy,nonchalantsmile,itspreadamightyreliefaround;foritindicatedthathismoodwasnotdestructive.Hesaid:

"Ithathstruckmespeechless,thefrivolityofthisperson"sspeech.

Letallknow,ifperchancetherebeanywhoknowitnot,thatenchantersofmydegreedeignnottoconcernthemselveswiththedoingsofanybutkings,princes,emperors,themthatbeborninthepurpleandthemonly.

HadyeaskedmewhatArthurthegreatkingisdoing,itwereanothermatter,andIhadtoldye;butthedoingsofasubjectinterestmenot."

"Oh,Imisunderstoodyou.Ithoughtyousaid"anybody,"andsoIsupposed"anybody"included——well,anybody;thatis,everybody."

"Itdoth——anybodythatisofloftybirth;andthebetterifheberoyal."

"That,itmeseemeth,mightwellbe,"saidtheabbot,whosawhisopportunitytosmooththingsandavertdisaster,"foritwerenotlikelythatsowonderfulagiftasthiswouldbeconferredfortherevelationoftheconcernsoflesserbeingsthansuchasbebornneartothesummitsofgreatness.OurArthurtheking——"

"Wouldyouknowofhim?"brokeintheenchanter.

"Mostgladly,yea,andgratefully."

Everybodywasfullofaweandinterestagainrightaway,theincorrigibleidiots.Theywatchedtheincantationsabsorbingly,andlookedatmewitha"There,now,whatcanyousaytothat?"air,whentheannouncementcame:

"Thekingiswearywiththechase,andliethinhispalacethesetwohourssleepingadreamlesssleep."

"God"sbenisonuponhim!"saidtheabbot,andcrossedhimself;"maythatsleepbetotherefreshmentofhisbodyandhissoul."

"Andsoitmightbe,ifheweresleeping,"Isaid,"butthekingisnotsleeping,thekingrides."

Herewastroubleagain——aconflictofauthority.Nobodyknewwhichofustobelieve;Istillhadsomereputationleft.Themagician"sscornwasstirred,andhesaid:

"Lo,Ihaveseenmanywonderfulsoothsayersandprophetsandmagiciansinmylifedays,butnonebeforethatcouldsitidleandseetotheheartofthingswithneveranincantationtohelp."

"Youhavelivedinthewoods,andlostmuchbyit.Iuseincantationsmyself,asthisgoodbrotherhoodareaware——butonlyonoccasionsofmoment."

Whenitcomestosarcasming,IreckonIknowhowtokeepmyendup.

Thatjabmadethisfellowsquirm.Theabbotinquiredafterthequeenandthecourt,andgotthisinformation:

"Theybeallonsleep,beingovercomebyfatigue,likeastotheking."

Isaid:

"Thatismerelyanotherlie.Halfofthemareabouttheiramusements,thequeenandtheotherhalfarenotsleeping,theyride.Nowperhapsyoucanspreadyourselfalittle,andtelluswherethekingandqueenandallthatarethismomentridingwiththemaregoing?"

"Theysleepnow,asIsaid;butonthemorrowtheywillride,fortheygoajourneytowardthesea."

"Andwherewilltheybethedayafterto-morrowatvespers?"

"FartothenorthofCamelot,andhalftheirjourneywillbedone."

"Thatisanotherlie,bythespaceofahundredandfiftymiles.Theirjourneywillnotbemerelyhalfdone,itwillbealldone,andtheywillbeHERE,inthisvalley."

THATwasanobleshot!Itsettheabbotandthemonksinawhirlofexcitement,anditrockedtheenchantertohisbase.Ifollowedthethingrightup:

"Ifthekingdoesnotarrive,Iwillhavemyselfriddenonarail:ifhedoesIwillrideyouonarailinstead."

NextdayIwentuptothetelephoneofficeandfoundthatthekinghadpassedthroughtwotownsthatwereontheline.Ispottedhisprogressonthesucceedingdayinthesameway.Ikeptthesematterstomyself.

Thethirdday"sreportsshowedthatifhekeptuphisgaithewouldarrivebyfourintheafternoon.Therewasstillnosignanywhereofinterestinhiscoming;thereseemedtobenopreparationsmakingtoreceivehiminstate;astrangething,truly.Onlyonethingcouldexplainthis:thatothermagicianhadbeencuttingunderme,sure.Thiswastrue.Iaskedafriendofmine,amonk,aboutit,andhesaid,yes,themagicianhadtriedsomefurtherenchantmentsandfoundoutthatthecourthadconcludedtomakenojourneyatall,butstayathome.Thinkofthat!Observehowmuchareputationwasworthinsuchacountry.Thesepeoplehadseenmedotheveryshowiestbitofmagicinhistory,andtheonlyonewithintheirmemorythathadapositivevalue,andyetheretheywere,readytotakeupwithanadventurerwhocouldoffernoevidenceofhispowersbuthismereunprovenword.

However,itwasnotgoodpoliticstoletthekingcomewithoutanyfussandfeathersatall,soIwentdownanddrummedupaprocessionofpilgrimsandsmokedoutabatchofhermitsandstartedthemoutattwoo"clocktomeethim.Andthatwasthesortofstatehearrivedin.TheabbotwashelplesswithrageandhumiliationwhenIbroughthimoutonabalconyandshowedhimtheheadofthestatemarchinginandneveramonkonhandtoofferhimwelcome,andnostiroflifeorclangofjoy-belltogladhisspirit.

Hetookonelookandthenflewtorouseouthisforces.Thenextminutethebellsweredinningfuriously,andthevariousbuildingswerevomitingmonksandnuns,whowentswarminginarushtowardthecomingprocession;