第5章

Thereisnopossibilityofmysuspicionsbeingwrong;notuntiltheyhavereachedabsolutecertaintyhaveIdaredeventoadmitthetruthtomyself.Hisconductto-daywouldhaveprovedthemtruehadI

entertainednopreviousapprehensions.Somephotographsofmyselfcameformebypost,andtheywerehandedroundatthebreakfasttableandcriticised.Iputthemtemporarilyonasidetable,anddidnotrememberthemuntilanhourafterwardswhenIwasinmyownroom.OngoingtofetchthemIdiscoveredhimstandingatthetablewithhisbacktowardsthedoorbendingoverthephotographs,oneofwhichheraisedtohislips.

ThewitnessingthisactsofrightenedmethatIcreptawaytoescapeobservation.Itwastheclimaxtoaseriesofslightandsignificantactionsalltendingtothesameconclusion.Thequestionformenowis,whatamItodo?Togoawayiswhatfirstoccurstome,butwhatreasoncanIgiveCarolineandmyfatherforsuchastep;besides,itmightprecipitatesomesortofcatastrophebydrivingCharlestodesperation.Forthepresent,therefore,IhavedecidedthatIcanonlywait,thoughhiscontiguityisstrangelydisturbingtomenow,andIhardlyretainstrengthofmindtoencounterhim.Howwillthedistressingcomplicationend?

May19——Andsoithascome!Mymereavoidanceofhimhasprecipitatedtheworstissue——adeclaration.Ihadoccasiontogointothekitchengardentogathersomeofthedoubleragged-robinswhichgrewinacornerthere.AlmostassoonasIhadenteredI

heardfootstepswithout.Thedooropenedandshut,andIturnedtobeholdhimjustinsideit.Asthegardenisclosedbyfourwallsandthegardenerwasabsent,thespotensuredabsoluteprivacy.Hecamealongthepathbytheasparagus-bed,andovertookme.

"YouknowwhyIcome,Alicia?"saidhe,inatremulousvoice.

Isaidnothing,andhungmyhead,forbyhistoneIdidknow.

"Yes,"hewenton,"itisyouIlove;mysentimenttowardsyoursisterisoneofaffectiontoo,butprotective,tutelaryaffection——

nomore.SaywhatyouwillIcannothelpit.Imistookmyfeelingforher,andIknowhowmuchIamtoblameformywantofself-

knowledge.Ihavefoughtagainstthisdiscoverynightandday;butitcannotbeconcealed.WhydidIeverseeyou,sinceIcouldnotseeyoutillIhadcommittedmyself?Atthemomentmyeyesbeheldyouonthatdayofmyarrival,Isaid,"Thisisthewomanforwhommymanhoodhaswaited."Eversinceanunaccountablefascinationhasrivetedmyhearttoyou.Answeroneword!"

"O,M.delaFeste!"Iburstout.WhatIsaidmoreIcannotremember,butIsupposethatthemiseryIwasinshowedprettyplainly,forhesaid,"Somethingmustbedonetoletherknow;

perhapsIhavemistakenheraffection,too;butalldependsuponwhatyoufeel."

"IcannottellwhatIfeel,"saidI,"exceptthatthisseemsterribletreachery;andeverymomentthatIstaywithyouheremakesitworse!

Trytokeepfaithwithher——heryoungheartistender;

believemethereisnomistakeinthequalityofherloveforyou.

Wouldtherewere!Thiswouldkillherifsheknewit!"

Hesighedheavily."Sheoughtnevertobemywife,"hesaid.

"Leavingmyownhappinessoutofthequestion,itwouldbeacrueltytohertounitehertome."

IsaidIcouldnothearsuchwordsfromhim,andbeggedhimintearstogoaway;heobeyed,andIheardthegardendoorshutbehindhim.

Whatistobetheendoftheannouncement,andthefateofCaroline?

May20——Iputagooddealonpaperyesterday,andyetnotall.I

was,intruth,hopingagainsthope,againstconviction,againsttooconsciousself-judgment.Iscarcelydareownthetruthnow,yetitrelievesmyachinghearttosetitdown.Yes,Ilovehim——thatisthedreadfulfact,andIcannolongerparry,evade,ordenyittomyselfthoughtotherestoftheworlditcanneverbeowned.IloveCaroline"sbetrothed,andhelovesme.Itisnoyesterday"spassion,cultivatedbyourconverse;itcameatfirstsight,independentlyofmywill;andmytalkwithhimyesterdaymaderatheragainstitthanforit,but,alas,didnotquenchit.Godforgiveusbothforthisterribletreachery.

May25——Allisvague;ourcoursesshapeless.Hecomesandgoes,beingoccupied,ostensiblyatleast,withsketchinginhistentinthewood.WhetherheandsheseeeachotherprivatelyIcannottell,butIratherthinktheydonot;thatshesadlyawaitshim,andhedoesnotappear.Notasignfromhimthatmyrepulsehasdonehimanygood,orthathewillendeavourtokeepfaithwithher.O,ifI

onlyhadthecompulsionofagod,andtheself-sacrificeofamartyr!

May31——Ithasallended——orratherthisactofthesaddramahasended——innothing.Hehasleftus.NodayforthefulfilmentoftheengagementwithCarolineisnamed,myfathernotbeingthemantopressanyoneonsuchamatter,or,indeed,tointerfereinanyway.

Wetwogirlsare,infact,quitedefencelessinacaseofthiskind;

loversmaycomewhentheychoose,anddesertwhentheychoose;poorfatheristoourbanetoutterawordofremonstranceorinquiry.

Moreover,astheapprovedofmydeadmother,M.delaFestehasasortofautocraticpowerwithmyfather,whoholdsitunkindtohermemorytohaveanopinionabouthim.I,feelingitmyduty,askedM.

delaFesteatthelastmomentabouttheengagement,inavoiceI

couldnotkeepfirm.

"Sincethedeathofyourmotherallhasbeenindefinite——all!"hesaidgloomily.Thatwasthewhole.Possibly,WherryborneRectorymayseehimnomore.

June7——M.delaFestehaswritten——onelettertoher,onetome.

Herscouldnothavebeenverywarm,forshedidnotbrightenonreadingit.Minewasanordinarynoteoffriendship,fillinganordinarysheetofpaper,whichIhandedovertoCarolinewhenIhadfinishedlookingitthrough.Buttherewasascrapofpaperinthebottomoftheenvelope,whichIdarednotshowanyone.Thisscrapishisrealletter:Iscanneditaloneinmyroom,trembling,hotandcoldbyturns.Hetellsmeheisverywretched;thathedeploreswhathashappened,butwashelpless.WhydidIlethimseeme,ifonlytomakehimfaithless.Alas,alas!

June21——MydearCarolinehaslostappetite,spirits,health.Hopedeferredmakeththeheartsick.Hisletterstohergrowcolder——ifindeedhehaswrittenmorethanone.Hehasrefrainedfromwritingagaintome——heknowsitisnouse.AltogetherthesituationthatheandsheandIareinismelancholyintheextreme.Whyarehumanheartssoperverse?

CHAPTERVI——HERINGENUITYINSTIGATESHER

September19——Threemonthsofanxiouscare——tillatlengthIhavetakentheextremestepofwritingtohim.OurchiefdistresshasbeencausedbythestateofpoorCaroline,who,aftersinkingbydegreesintosuchextremeweaknessastomakeitdoubtfulifshecaneverrecoverfullvigour,hasto-daybeentakenmuchworse.Herpositionisverycritical.Thedoctorsaysplainlythatsheisdyingofabrokenheart——andthateventheremovalofthecausemaynotnowrestoreher.OughtItohavewrittentoCharlessooner?ButhowcouldIwhensheforbademe?Itwasherprideonlywhichinstigatedher,andIshouldnothaveobeyed.

Sept.26——Charleshasarrivedandhasseenher.Heisshocked,conscience-stricken,remorseful.Ihavetoldhimthathecandonogoodbeyondcheeringherbyhispresence.Idonotknowwhathethinksofproposingtoherifshegetsbetter,buthesayslittletoheratpresent:indeedhedaresnot:hiswordsagitateherdangerously.

Sept.28——Afterastrugglebetweendutyandselfishness,suchasI

praytoHeavenImayneverhavetoundergoagain,Ihaveaskedhimforpity"ssaketomakeherhiswife,hereandnow,asshelies.I

saidtohimthatthepoorchildwouldnottroublehimlong;andsuchasolemnizationwouldsootheherlasthoursasnothingelsecoulddo.

Hesaidthathewouldwillinglydoso,andhadthoughtofithimself;

butforoneforbiddingreason:intheeventofherdeathashiswifehecannevermarryme,hersister,accordingtoourlaws.Istartedathiswords.Hewenton:"Ontheotherhand,ifIweresurethatimmediatemarriagewithmewouldsaveherlife,Iwouldnotrefuse,forpossiblyImightafterawhile,andoutofsightofyou,makemyselffairlycontentwithoneofsosweetadispositionashers;butif,asisprobable,neithermymarryinghernoranyotheractcanavailtosaveherlife,bysodoingIlosebothherandyou."I

couldnotanswerhim.

Sept.29——Hecontinuedfirminhisreasonsforrefusaltillthismorning,andthenIbecamepossessedwithanidea,whichIatoncepropoundedtohim.ItwasthatheshouldatleastconsenttoaFORM

ofmarriagewithCaroline,inconsiderationofherlove;aformwhichneednotbealegalunion,butonewhichwouldsatisfyhersickandenfeebledsoul.Suchthingshavebeendone,andthesentimentoffeelingherselfhiswouldinexpressiblycomforthermind,Iamsure.

Then,ifsheistakenfromus,Ishouldnothavelostthepowerofbecominghislawfulwifeatsomefutureday,ifitindeedshouldbedeemedexpedient;if,ontheotherhand,shelives,hecanonherrecoveryinformheroftheincompletenessoftheirmarriagecontract,theceremonycanberepeated,andIcan,andIamsurewillinglywould,avoidtroublingthemwithmypresencetillgreyhairsandwrinklesmakehisunfortunatepassionformeathingofthepast.I

putallthisbeforehim;buthedemurred.

Sept.30——Ihaveurgedhimagain.Hesayshewillconsider.Itisnotimetomincematters,andasafurtherinducementIhaveofferedtoenterintoasolemnengagementtomarryhimmyselfayearafterherdeath.

Sept.30.Later——Anagitatinginterview.HesayshewillagreetowhateverIpropose,thethreepossibilitiesandourcontingentactsbeingrecordedasfollows:First,intheeventofdearCarolinebeingtakenfromus,Imarryhimontheexpirationofayear:

Second,intheforlornchanceofherrecoveryItakeuponmyselftheresponsibilityofexplainingtoCarolinethetruenatureoftheceremonyhehasgonethroughwithher,thatitwasdoneatmysuggestiontomakeherhappyatonce,beforeaspeciallicencecouldbeobtained,andthatapublicceremonyatchurchisawaitingher:

Third,intheunlikelyeventofhercooling,andrefusingtorepeattheceremonywithhim,IleaveEngland,joinhimabroad,andtherewedhim,agreeingnottoliveinEnglandagaintillCarolinehaseithermarriedanotherorregardsherattachmenttoCharlesasabygonematter.Ihavethoughtovertheseconditions,andhaveagreedtothemallastheystand.

11p.m——Idonotmuchlikethisscheme,afterall.Foronething,I

havejustsoundedmyfatheronitbeforepartingwithhimforthenight,myimpressionhavingbeenthathewouldseenoobjection.Buthesayshecouldonnoaccountcountenanceanysuchunrealproceeding;howevergoodourintentions,andeventhoughthepoorgirlweredying,itwouldnotberight.SoIsadlyseekmypillow.

October1——Iamsuremyfatheriswronginhisview.Whyisitnotright,ifitwouldbebalmtoCaroline"swoundedsoul,andifarealceremonyisabsolutelyrefusedbyCharles——moreoverishardlypracticableinthedifficultyofgettingaspeciallicence,ifhewereagreed?Myfatherdoesnotknow,orwillnotbelieve,thatCaroline"sattachmenthasbeenthecauseofherhopelesscondition.

Butthatitisso,andthattheformofwordswouldgiveherinexpressiblehappiness,Iknowwell;forIwhisperedtentativelyinherearonsuchmarriages,andtheeffectwasgreat.HenceforthmyfathercannotbetakenintoconfidenceonthesubjectofCaroline.

Hedoesnotunderstandher.

12o"clocknoon——Ihavetakenadvantageofmyfather"sabsenceto-

daytoconfidemysecretnotiontoathoughtfulyoungman,whocalledherethismorningtospeaktomyfather.HeistheMr.TheophilusHigham,ofwhomIhavealreadyhadoccasiontospeak——aScripturereaderinthenexttown,andissoongoingtobeordained.Itoldhimthepitiablecase,andmyremedy.Hesaysardentlythathewillassistme——woulddoanythingforme(heis,intruth,anadmirerofmine);heseesnowronginsuchanactofcharity.Heiscomingagaintothehousethisafternoonbeforemyfatherreturns,tocarryouttheidea.IhavespokentoCharles,whopromisestobeready.I

mustnowbreakthenewstoCaroline.

11o"clockp.m——Ihavebeenintoomuchexcitementtillnowtosetdowntheresult.Wehaveaccomplishedourplan;andthoughIfeellikeaguiltysinner,Iamglad.Myfather,ofcourse,isnottobeinformedasyet.Carolinehashadaseraphicexpressionuponherwasted,transparentfaceeversince.Ishouldhardlybesurprisedifitreallysavedherlifeevennow,andrenderedalegitimateunionnecessarybetweenthem.Inthatcasemyfathercanbeinformedofthewholeproceeding,andinthefaceofsuchwonderfulsuccesscannotdisapprove.MeanwhilepoorCharleshasnotlostthepossibilityoftakingunworthymetofillherplaceshouldshe.

ButIcannotcontemplatethatalternativeunmoved,andwillnotwriteit.CharlesleftfortheSouthofEuropeimmediatelyaftertheceremony.Hewasinahigh-strung,throbbing,almostwildstateofmindatfirst,butgrewcalmerundermyexhortations.Ihadtopaythepenaltyofreceivingafarewellkissfromhim,whichImuchregret,consideringitsmeaning;buthetookmesounexpectedly,andinamomentwasgone.

Oct.6——Shecertainlyisbetter,andevenwhenshefoundthatCharleshadbeensuddenlyobligedtoleave,shereceivedthenewsquitecheerfully.Thedoctorsaysthatherapparentimprovementmaybedelusive;butIthinkourimpressinguponherthenecessityofkeepingwhathasoccurredasecretfrompapa,andeverybody,helpstogiveherazestforlife.

Oct.8——Sheisstillmending.Iamgladtohavesavedher——myonlysister——ifIhavedoneso;thoughIshallnowneverbecomeCharles"swife.

CHAPTERVII——ASURPRISEAWAITSHER

Feb.5——Writinghasbeenabsolutelyimpossibleforalongwhile;butInowreachastageatwhichitseemspossibletojotdownaline.

Caroline"srecovery,extendingoverfourmonths,hasbeenveryengrossing;atfirstslow,latterlyrapid.Butafearfulcomplicationofaffairsattendsit!

OwhatatangledwebweweaveWhenfirstwepractisetodeceive!

CharleshaswrittenreproachfullytomefromVenice,whereheis.Hesayshowcanhefulfilintherealwhathehasenactedinthecounterfeit,whilehestilllovesme?Yethow,ontheotherhand,canheleaveitunfulfilled?AllthistimeIhavenottoldher,anduptothisminuteshebelievesthathehasindeedtakenherforbetter,forworse,tilldeaththemdopart.Itisaharassingpositionforme,andallthree.Intheawfulapproachofdeath,one"sjudgmentlosesitsbalance,andwedoanythingtomeettheexigenciesofthemoment,withasingleeyetotheonewhoexcitesoursympathy,andfromwhomweseemonthebrinkofbeingseparatedforever.

Hadhereallymarriedheratthattimeallwouldbesettlednow.Buthetooktoomuchthought;shemighthavedied,andthenhehadhisreason.Ifindeedithadturnedoutso,Ishouldnowbeperhapsasadwoman;butnotatempest-tossedoneThepossibilityofhisclaimingmeafteralliswhatliesattherootofmyagitation.

Everythinghangsbyathread.SupposeItellherthemarriagewasamockery;supposesheisindignantwithmeandwithhimforthedeception——andthen?Otherwise,supposesheisnotindignantbutforgivesall;heisboundtomarryher;andhonourconstrainsmetourgehimthereto,inspiteofwhatheprotests,andtosmooththewaytothisissuebymymethodofinformingher.Ihavemeanttotellherthelastmonth——eversinceshehasbeenstrongenoughtobearsuchtidings;butIhavebeenwithoutthepower——themoralforce.

SurelyImustwrite,andgethimtocomeandassistme.

March14——Shecontinuallywonderswhyhedoesnotcome,thefivemonthsofhisenforcedabsencehavingexpired;andstillmoreshewonderswhyhedoesnotwriteoftener.Hislastletterwascold,shesays,andshefearsheregretshismarriage,whichhemayonlyhavecelebratedwithherforpity"ssake,thinkingshewassuretodie.

Itmakesone"sheartbleedtohearherhoveringthussonearthetruth,andyetneverdiscerningitsactualshape.

Aminortroublebesetsme,too,inthepersonoftheyoungScripturereader,whoseconscienceprickshimforthepartheplayed.SurelyI

ampunished,ifeverwomanwere,foratooingeniousperversionofherbetterjudgment!

April2——Sheispracticallywell.Thefaintpinkrevivesinhercheek,thoughitisnotquitesofullasheretofore.Butshestillwonderswhatshecanhavedonetooffend"herdearhusband,"andI

havebeenobligedtotellthesmallestpartofthetruth——anunimportantfragmentofthewhole,infact,IsaidthatIfearedforthemomenthemightregrettheprecipitancyoftheact,whichherillnesscaused,hisaffairsnothavingbeenquitesufficientlyadvancedformarriagejustthen,thoughhewilldoubtlesscometoherassoonashehasahomeready.MeanwhileIhavewrittentohim,peremptorily,tocomeandrelievemeinthisawfuldilemma.Hewillfindnonoteofloveinthat.

April10——TomyalarmtheletterIlatelyaddressedtohimatVenice,whereheisstaying,aswellasthelastoneshesenthim,havereceivednoreply.Shethinksheisill.Idonotquitethinkthat,butIwishwecouldhearfromhim.Perhapstheperemptorinessofmywordshadoffendedhim;itgrievesmetothinkitpossible.

_I_offendhim!Buttoomuchofthis.IMUSTtellherthetruth,orshemayinherignorancecommitherselftosomecourseorotherthatmayberuinouslycompromising.Shesaidplaintivelyjustnowthatifhecouldseeher,andknowhowoccupiedwithhimandhimaloneishereverywakinghour,sheissurehewouldforgiveherthewickedpresumptionofbecominghiswife.Verysweetallthat,andtouching.

Icouldnotconcealmytears.

April15——Thehouseisinconfusion;myfatherisangryanddistressed,andIamdistracted.Carolinehasdisappeared——goneawaysecretly.IcannothelpthinkingthatIknowwheresheisgoneto.

HowguiltyIseem,andhowinnocentshe!OthatIhadtoldherbeforenow!

1o"clock——Notraceofherasyet.Wefindalsothatthelittlewaiting-maidwehavehereintraininghasdisappearedwithCaroline,andthereisnotmuchdoubtthatCaroline,fearingtotravelalone,hasinducedthisgirltogowithherascompanion.Iamalmostsureshehasstartedindesperationtofindhim,andthatVeniceishergoal.Whyshouldsherunaway,ifnottojoinherhusband,asshethinkshim?NowthatIconsider,therehavebeenindicationsofthiswishinherfordays,asinbirdsofpassagetherelurksignsoftheirincipientintention;andyetIdidnotthinkshewouldhavetakensuchanextremestep,unaided,andwithoutconsultingme.I

canonlyjotdownthebarefacts——Ihavenotimeforreflections.

ButfancyCarolinetravellingacrossthecontinentofEuropewithachitofagirl,whowillbemoreofachargethananassistance!

Theywillbeamarkforeverymarauderwhoencountersthem.

Evening:8o"clock——Yes,itisasIsurmised.Shehasgonetojoinhim.AnotepostedbyherinBudmouthRegisatdaybreakhasreachedmethisafternoon——thankstothefortunatechanceofoneoftheservantscallingforlettersintownto-day,orIshouldnothavegotituntilto-morrow.Shemerelyassertsherdeterminationofgoingtohim,andhasstartedprivately,thatnothingmayhinderher;statingnothingaboutherroute.Thatsuchagentlethingshouldsuddenlybecomesocalmlyresolutequitesurprisesme.Alas,hemayhaveleftVenice——shemaynotfindhimforweeks——maynotatall.

Myfather,onlearningthefacts,bademeatoncehaveeverythingreadybyninethisevening,intimetodrivetothetrainthatmeetsthenightsteam-boat.ThisIhavedone,andtherebeinganhourtosparebeforewestart,Irelievethesuspenseofwaitingbytakingupmypen.Hesaysovertakeherwemust,andcallsCharlesthehardestofnames.Hebelieves,ofcourse,thatsheismerelyaninfatuatedgirlrushingofftomeetherlover;andhowcanthewretchedItellhimthatsheismore,andinasensebetterthanthat——yetnotsufficientlymoreandbettertomakethisflighttoCharlesanythingbutastillgreaterdangertoherthanamerelover"simpulse.WeshallgobywayofParis,andwethinkwemayovertakeherthere.I

hearmyfatherwalkingrestlesslyupanddownthehall,andcanwritenomore.

CHAPTERVIII——SHETRAVELSINPURSUIT

April16.Evening,Paris,Hotel——Thereisnoovertakingheratthisplace;butshehasbeenhere,asIthought,nootherhotelinParisbeingknowntoher.Wegoonto-morrowmorning.

April18.Venice——Amorningofadventuresandemotionswhichleavemesickandweary,andyetunabletosleep,thoughIhavelaindownonthesofaofmyroomformorethananhourintheattempt.I

thereforemakeupmydiarytodateinahurriedfashion,forthesakeoftheriddanceitaffordstoideaswhichotherwiseremainsuspendedhotlyinthebrain.

Wearrivedherethismorninginbroadsunlight,whichlitupthesea-

girtbuildingsasweapproachedsothattheyseemedlikeacityofcorkfloatingraft-likeonthesmooth,bluedeep.ButIonlyglancedfromthecarriagewindowatthelovelyscene,andweweresoonacrosstheinterveningwaterandinsidetherailwaystation.Whenwegottothefrontstepstherowofblackgondolasandtheshoutsofthegondolierssobewilderedmyfatherthathewasunderstoodtorequiretwogondolasinsteadofonewithtwooars,andsoIfoundhiminoneandmyselfinanother.Wegotthisrightedafterawhile,andwererowedatoncetothehotelontheRivadegliSchiavoniwhereM.delaFestehadbeenstayingwhenwelastheardfromhim,thewaybeingdowntheGrandCanalforsomedistance,undertheRialto,andthenbynarrowcanalswhicheventuallybroughtusundertheBridgeofSighs——

harmonioustoourmoods!——andoutagainintoopenwater.Thescenewaspurityitselfastocolour,butitwascruelthatIshouldbeholditforthefirsttimeundersuchcircumstances.

AssoonasIenteredthehotel,whichisanold-fashionedplace,likemostplaceshere,wherepeoplearetakenenpensionaswellastheordinaryway,Irushedtotheframedlistofvisitorshanginginthehall,andinamomentIsawCharles"snameuponitamongtherest.

Butshewasourchiefthought.Iturnedtothehallporter,and——

knowingthatshewouldhavetravelledas"MadamedelaFeste"——I

askedforherunderthatname,withoutmyfatherhearing.(He,poorsoul,wasmakingconfusedinquiriesoutsidethedoorabout"anEnglishlady,"asiftherewerenotascoreofEnglishladiesathand.)

"Shehasjustcome,"saidtheporter."Madamecamebytheveryearlytrainthismorning,whenMonsieurwasasleep,andsherequestedusnottodisturbhim.Sheisnowinherroom."

WhetherCarolinehadseenusfromthewindow,oroverheardme,Idonotknow,butatthatmomentIheardfootstepsonthebaremarblestairs,andsheappearedinpersondescending.

"Caroline!"Iexclaimed,"whyhaveyoudonethis?"andrusheduptoher.

Shedidnotanswer;butlookeddowntohideheremotion,whichsheconqueredafterthelapseofafewseconds,puttingonapracticaltonethatbeliedher.

"Iamjustgoingtomyhusband,"shesaid."Ihavenotyetseenhim.

Ihavenotbeenherelong."Shecondescendedtogivenofurtherreasonforhermovements,andmadeasiftomoveon.IimploredhertocomeintoaprivateroomwhereIcouldspeaktoherinconfidence,butsheobjected.However,thedining-room,closeathand,wasquiteemptyatthishour,andIgotherinsideandclosedthedoor.IdonotknowhowIbeganmyexplanation,orhowIendedit,butItoldherbrieflyandbrokenlyenoughthatthemarriagewasnotreal.

"Notreal?"shesaidvacantly.

"Itisnot,"saidI."YouwillfindthatitisallasIsay."

Shecouldnotbelievemymeaningeventhen."Nothiswife?"shecried."Itisimpossible.WhatamI,then?"

Iaddedmoredetails,andreiteratedthereasonformyconductaswellasIcould;butHeavenknowshowverydifficultIfoundittofeelajotmorejustificationforitinmyownmindthanshedidinhers.

Therevulsionoffeeling,assoonasshereallycomprehendedall,wasmostdistressing.Afterhergriefhadinsomemeasurespentitselfsheturnedagainstbothhimandme.

"WhyshouldhaveIbeendeceivedlikethis?"shedemanded,withabitterhaughtinessofwhichIhadnotdeemedsuchatractablecreaturecapable."DoyousupposethatANYTHINGcouldjustifysuchanimposition?What,Owhatasnareyouhavespreadforme!"

Imurmured,"Yourlifeseemedtorequireit,"butshedidnothearme.Shesankdowninachair,coveredherface,andthenmyfathercamein."O,hereyouare!"hesaid."Icouldnotfindyou.AndCaroline!"

"AndwereYOU,papa,apartytothisstrangedeedofkindness?"

"Towhat?"saidhe.

Thenoutitallcame,andforthefirsttimehewasmadeacquaintedwiththefactthattheschemeforsoothingherillness,whichIhadsoundedhimupon,hadbeenreallycarriedout.InamomenthesidedwithCaroline.Myrepeatedassurancethatmymotivewasgoodavailedlessthannothing.InaminuteortwoCarolinearoseandwentabruptlyoutoftheroom,andmyfatherfollowedher,leavingmealonetomyreflections.

IwassobentuponfindingCharlesimmediatelythatIdidnotnoticewhithertheywent.TheservantstoldmethatM.delaFestewasjustoutsidesmoking,andoneofthemwenttolookforhim,Ifollowing;

butbeforewehadgonemanystepshecameoutofthehotelbehindme.

Iexpectedhimtobeamazed;butheshowednosurpriseatseeingme,thoughheshowedanotherkindoffeelingtoanextentwhichdismayedme.Imayhaverevealedsomethingsimilar;butIstruggledhardagainstallemotion,andassoonasIcouldItoldhimshehadcome.

Hesimplysaid"Yes"inalowvoice.

"Youknowit,Charles?"saidI.

"Ihavejustlearntit,"hesaid.

"O,Charles,"Iwenton,"havingdelayedcompletingyourmarriagewithhertillnow,Ifear——ithasbecomeaseriouspositionforus.

Whydidyounotreplytoourletters?"

"Iwaspurposingtoreplyinperson:Ididnotknowhowtoaddressheronthepoint——howtoaddressyou.Butwhathasbecomeofher?"

"Shehasgoneoffwithmyfather,"saidI;"indignantwithyou,andscorningme."

Hewassilent:andIsuggestedthatweshouldfollowthem,pointingoutthedirectionwhichIfanciedtheirgondolahadtaken.Astheonewegotintowasdoublymannedwesooncameinviewoftheirtwofiguresaheadofus,whiletheywerenotlikelytoobserveus,ourboathavingthe"felze"on,whiletheirswasuncovered.TheyshotintoanarrowcanaljustbeyondtheGiardinoReale,andbythetimewewerefloatingupbetweenitsslimywallswesawthemgettingoutoftheirgondolaatthestepswhichleadupneartheendoftheVia22Marzo.WhenwereachedthesamespottheywerewalkingupanddowntheViainconsultation.Gettingouthestoodonthelowerstepswatchingthem.Iwatchedhim.Heseemedtofallintoareverie.

"Willyounotgoandspeaktoher?"saidIatlength.

Heassented,andwentforward.Stillhedidnothastentojointhem,but,screenedbyaprojectingwindow,observedtheirmusingconverse.

Atlasthelookedbackatme;whereuponIpointedforward,andheinobediencesteppedout,andmetthemfacetoface.Carolineflushedhot,bowedhaughtilytohim,turnedaway,andtakingmyfather"sarmviolently,ledhimoffbeforehehadhadtimetousehisownjudgment.Theydisappearedintoanarrowcalle,oralley,leadingtothebackofthebuildingsontheGrandCanal.

M.delaFestecameslowlyback;ashesteppedinbesidemeI

realizedmypositionsovividlythatmyheartmightalmosthavebeenheardtobeat.Thethirdconditionhadarisen——theleastexpectedbyeitherofus.Shehadrefusedhim;hewasfreetoclaimme.

Wereturnedintheboattogether.HeseemedquiteabsorbedtillwehadturnedtheangleintotheGrandCanal,whenhebrokethesilence.

"Shespokeverybitterlytoyouinthesalle-a-manger,"hesaid."I

donotthinkshewasquitewarrantedinspeakingsotoyou,whohadnursedhersotenderly."

"O,butIthinkshewas,"Ianswered."ItwasthereItoldherwhathadbeendone;shedidnotknowtillthen."

"Shewasverydignified——verystriking,"hemurmured."Youweremore."

"Buthowdoyouknowwhatpassedbetweenus,"saidI.Hethentoldmethathehadseenandheardall.Thedining-roomwasdividedbyfolding-doorsfromaninnerportion,andhehadbeensittinginthelatterpartwhenweenteredtheouter,sothatourwordsweredistinctlyaudible.

"But,dearAlicia,"hewenton,"Iwasmoreimpressedbytheaffectionofyourapologytoherthanbyanythingelse.Anddoyouknowthatnowtheconditionshavearisenwhichgivemelibertytoconsideryoumyaffianced?"Ihadbeenexpectingthis,butyetwasnotprepared.Istammeredoutthatwewouldnotdiscussitthen.

"Whynot?"saidhe."Doyouknowthatwemaymarryhereandnow?

Shehascastoffbothyouandme."

"Itcannotbe,"saidI,firmly."Shehasnotbeenfairlyaskedtobeyourwifeinfact——torepeattheservicelawfully;anduntilthathasbeendoneitwouldbegrievoussininmetoacceptyou."

Ihadnotnoticedwherethegondolierswererowingus.Isupposehehadgiventhemsomedirectionunheardbyme,forasIresignedmyselfindespairingindolencetothemotionofthegondola,IperceivedthatitwastakingusuptheCanal,and,turningintoasideopeningnearthePalazzoGrimani,drewupatsomestepsneartheendofalargechurch.

"Wherearewe?"saidI.

"ItistheChurchoftheFrari,"hereplied."Wemightbemarriedthere.Atanyrate,letusgoinside,andgrowcalm,anddecidewhattodo."

WhenwehadenteredIfoundthatwhetheraplacetomarryinornot,itwasonetodepress.ThewordwhichVenicespeaksmostconstantly——

decay——wasinasenseaccentuatedhere.Thewholelargefabricitselfseemedsinkingintoanearthwhichwasnotsolidenoughtobearit.Cobwebbedcrackszigzaggedthewalls,andsimilarwebscloudedthewindow-panes.Asickly-sweetsmellpervadedtheaisles.

Afterwalkingaboutwithhimalittlewhileinembarrassingsilences,dividedonlybyhiscursoryexplanationsofthemonumentsandotherobjects,andalmostfearinghemightproduceamarriagelicence,I

wenttoadoorinthesouthtranseptwhichopenedintothesacristy.

Iglancedthroughit,towardsthesmallaltarattheupperend.Theplacewasemptysaveofonefigure;andshewaskneelinghereinfrontofthebeautifulaltarpiecebyBellini.Beautifulthoughitwassheseemednottoseeit.Shewasweepingandprayingasthoughherheartwasbroken.ShewasmysisterCaroline.IbeckonedtoCharles,andhecametomyside,andlookedthroughthedoorwithme.

"Speaktoher,"saidI."Shewillforgiveyou."

Igentlypushedhimthroughthedoorway,andwentbackintothetransept,downthenave,andonwardtothewestdoor.ThereIsawmyfather,towhomIspoke.Heansweredseverelythat,havingfirstobtainedcomfortablequartersinapensionontheGrandCanal,hehadgonebacktothehotelontheRivadegliSchiavonitofindme;butthatIwasnotthere.HewasnowwaitingforCaroline,toaccompanyherbacktothepension,atwhichshehadrequestedtobelefttoherselfasmuchaspossibletillshecouldregainsomecomposure.

Itoldhimthatitwasuselesstodwellonwhatwaspast,thatInodoubthaderred,thattheremedylayinthefutureandtheirmarriage.Inthishequiteagreedwithme,andonmyinforminghimthatM.delaFestewasatthatmomentwithCarolineinthesacristy,heassentedtomyproposalthatweshouldleavethemtothemselves,andreturntogethertoawaitthematthepension,wherehehadalsoengagedaroomforme.Thiswedid,andgoinguptothechamberhehadchosenforme,whichoverlookedtheCanal,IleantfromthewindowtowatchforthegondolathatshouldcontainCharlesandmysister.

Theywerenotlongincoming.Irecognizedthembythecolourofhersunshadeassoonastheyturnedthebendonmyrighthand.Theyweresidebysideofnecessity,buttherewasnoconversationbetweenthem,andIthoughtthatshelookedflushedandhepale.Whentheywererowedintothestepsofourhousehehandedherup.Ifanciedshemighthaverefusedhisassistance,butshedidnot.SoonIheardherpassmydoor,andwishingtoknowtheresultoftheirinterviewI

wentdownstairs,seeingthatthegondolahadnotputoffwithhim.

Hewasturningfromthedoor,butnottowardsthewater,intendingapparentlytowalkhomebywayofthecallewhichledintotheVia22

Marzo.

"Hassheforgivenyou?"saidI.

"Ihavenotaskedher,"hesaid.

"Butyouareboundtodoso,"Itoldhim.

Hepaused,andthensaid,"Alicia,letusunderstandeachother.Doyoumeantotellme,onceforall,thatifyoursisteriswillingtobecomemywifeyouabsolutelymakewayforher,andwillnotentertainanythoughtofwhatIsuggestedtoyouanymore?"

"Idotellyouso,"saidIwithdrylips."Youbelongtoher——howcanIdootherwise?"

"Yes;itisso;itispurelyaquestionofhonour,"hereturned.

"Verywellthen,honourshallbemyword,andnotmylove.Iwillputthequestiontoherfrankly;ifshesaysyes,themarriageshallbe.Butnothere.ItshallbeatyourownhouseinEngland."

"When?"saidI.

"Iwillaccompanyherthere,"hereplied,"anditshallbewithinaweekofherreturn.Ihavenothingtogainbydelay.ButIwillnotanswerfortheconsequences."

"Whatdoyoumean?"saidI.Hemadenoreply,wentaway,andIcamebacktomyroom.

CHAPTERIX——SHEWITNESSESTHEEND

April20.Milan,10.30p.m——Wearethusfaronourwayhomeward.

I,beingdecidedlydetrop,travelapartfromtherestasmuchasI

can.Havingdinedatthehotelhere,Iwentoutbymyself;

regardlessoftheproprieties,forIcouldnotstayin.IwalkedataleisurelypacealongtheViaAllesandroManzonitillmyeyewascaughtbythegrandGalleriaVittorioEmanuele,andIenteredunderthehighglassarcadestillIreachedthecentraloctagon,whereI

satdownononeofagroupofchairsplacedthere.Becomingaccustomedtothestreamofpromenaders,Isoonobserved,seatedonthechairsopposite,CarolineandCharles.ThiswasthefirstoccasiononwhichIhadseenthementete-a-tetesincemyconversationwithhim.Shesooncaughtsightofme;avertedhereyes;then,apparentlyabandoningherselftoanimpulse,shejumpedupfromherseatandcameacrosstome.WehadnotspokentoeachothersincethemeetinginVenice.

"Alicia,"shesaid,sittingdownbymyside,"Charlesasksmetoforgiveyou,andIdoforgiveyou."

Ipressedherhand,withtearsinmyeyes,andsaid,"Anddoyouforgivehim?"

"Yes,"saidshe,shyly.

"Andwhat"stheresult?"saidI.

"Wearetobemarrieddirectlywereachhome."

Thiswasalmostthewholeofourconversation;shewalkedhomewithme,Charlesfollowingalittlewaybehind,thoughshekeptturningherhead,asifanxiousthatheshouldovertakeus."Honourandnotlove"seemedtoringinmyears.Somattersstand.Carolineisagainhappy.

April25——Wehavereachedhome,Charleswithus.Eventsarenowmovinginsilentspeed,almostwithvelocity,indeed;andIsometimesfeeloppressedbythestrangeandpreternaturaleasewhichseemstoaccompanytheirflow.Charlesisstayingattheneighbouringtown;

heisonlywaitingforthemarriagelicence;whenobtainedheistocomehere,bequietlymarriedtoher,andcarryheroff.Itisratherresignationthancontentwhichsitsonhisface;buthehasnotspokenawordmoretomeontheburningsubject,ordeviatedonehair"sbreadthfromthecoursehelaiddown.Theymaybehappyintimetocome:Ihopeso.ButIcannotshakeoffdepression.

May6——Eveofthewedding.Carolineisserenelyhappy,thoughnotblithe.Butthereisnothingtoexciteanxietyabouther.IwishI

couldsaythesameofhim.Hecomesandgoeslikeaghost,andyetnobodyseemstoobservethisstrangenessinhismien.

Icouldnothelpbeingherefortheceremony;butmyabsencewouldhaveresultedinlessdisquietonhispart,Ibelieve.However,I

maybewronginattributingcauses:myfathersimplysaysthatCharlesandCarolinehaveasgoodachanceofbeinghappyasotherpeople.Well,to-morrowsettlesall.

May7——Theyaremarried:wehavejustreturnedfromchurch.

Charleslookedsopalethismorningthatmyfatheraskedhimifhewasill.Hesaid,"No:onlyaslightheadache;"andwestartedforthechurch.

Therewasnohitchorhindrance;andthethingisdone.

4p.m——Theyoughttohavesetoutontheirjourneybythistime;butthereisanunaccountabledelay.Charleswentouthalf-an-hourago,andhasnotyetreturned.Carolineiswaitinginthehall;butIamdreadfullyafraidtheywillmissthetrain.Isupposethetriflinghindranceisofnoaccount;andyetIamfullofmisgivings

Sept.14——Fourmonthshavepassed;ONLYfourmonths!Itseemslikeyears.CanitbethatonlyseventeenweeksagoIsetonthispaperthefactoftheirmarriage?Iamnowanagedwomanbycomparison!

Onthatnevertobeforgottendaywewaitedandwaited,andCharlesdidnotreturn.Atsixo"clock,whenpoorlittleCarolinehadgonebacktoherroominastateofsuspenseimpossibletodescribe,amanwhoworkedinthewater-meadowscametothehouseandaskedformyfather.Hehadaninterviewwithhiminthestudy.Myfatherthenranghisbell,andsentforme.Iwentdown;andIthenlearntthefatalnews.Charleswasnomore.Thewatermanhadbeengoingtoshutdownthehatchesofaweirinthemeadswhenhesawahatontheedgeofthepoolbelow,floatingroundandroundintheeddy,andlookingintothepoolsawsomethingstrangeatthebottom.Heknewwhatitmeant,andloweringthehatchessothatthewaterwasstill,coulddistinctlyseethebody.Itisneedlesstowriteparticularsthatwereinthenewspapersatthetime.Charleswasbroughttothehouse,buthewasdead.

WeallfearedforCaroline;andshesufferedmuch;butstrangetosay,hersufferingwaspurelyofthenatureofdeepgriefwhichfoundreliefinsobbingandtears.ItcameoutattheinquestthatCharleshadbeenaccustomedtocrossthemeadstogiveanoccasionalhalf-

crowntoanoldmanwholivedontheoppositehill,whohadoncebeenalandscapepainterinanhumblewaytillhelosthiseyesight;anditwasassumedthathehadgonethitherforthesamepurposeto-day,andtobidhimfarewell.Onthisinformationthecoroner"sjuryfoundthathisdeathhadbeencausedbymisadventure;andeverybodybelievestothishourthathewasdrownedwhilecrossingtheweirtorelievetheoldman.Exceptone:shebelievesinnoaccident.

Afterthestunningeffectofthefirstnews,Ithoughtitstrangethatheshouldhavechosentogoonsuchanerrandatthelastmoment,andtogopersonally,whentherewassolittletimetospare,sinceanygiftcouldhavebeensoeasilysentbyanotherhand.

Furtherreflectionhasconvincedmethatthisstepoutoflifewasasmuchapartoftheday"splanaswastheweddinginthechurchhardby.TheywerethetwohalvesofhiscompleteintentionwhenhegavemeontheGrandCanalthatassurancewhichIshallneverforget:

"Verywell,then;honourshallbemyword,notlove.Ifshesays"Yes,"themarriageshallbe."

IdonotknowwhyIshouldhavemadethisentryatthisparticulartime;butithasoccurredtometodoit——tocomplete,inameasure,thatpartofmydesultorychroniclewhichrelatestothelove-storyofmysisterandCharles.Shelivesonmeeklyinhergrief;andwillprobablyoutliveit;whileI——butnevermindme.

CHAPTERX——SHEADDSANOTELONGAFTER

Five-yearslater——Ihavelighteduponthisolddiary,whichithasinterestedmetolookover,containing,asitdoes,recordsofthetimewhenlifeshonemorewarmlyinmyeyethanitdoesnow.Iamimpelledtoaddonesentencetoroundoffitsrecordofthepast.

AboutayearagomysisterCaroline,afterapersistentwooing,acceptedthehandandheartofTheophilusHigham,oncetheblushingyoungScripturereaderwhoassistedatthesubstituteforamarriageIplanned,andnowthefully-ordainedcurateofthenextparish.Hispenitenceforthepartheplayedendedinlove.Wehaveallnowmadeatonementforoursinsagainsther:mayshebedeceivednomore.

1887.

THEGRAVEBYTHEHANDPOST

IneverpassthroughChalk-Newtonwithoutturningtoregardtheneighbouringupland,atapointwherealanecrossesthelonestraighthighwaydividingthisfromthenextparish;asightwhichdoesnotfailtorecalltheeventthatoncehappenedthere;and,thoughitmayseemsuperfluous,atthisdate,todisintermorememoriesofvillagehistory,thewhispersofthatspotmayclaimtobepreserved.

Itwasonadark,yetmildandexceptionallydryeveningatChristmas-time(accordingtothetestimonyofWilliamDewyofMellstock,MichaelMail,andothers),thatthechoirofChalk-Newton——

alargeparishsituateabouthalf-waybetweenthetownsofIvelandCasterbridge,andnowarailwaystation——lefttheirhomesjustbeforemidnighttorepeattheirannualharmoniesunderthewindowsofthelocalpopulation.Thebandofinstrumentalistsandsingerswasoneofthelargestinthecounty;and,unlikethesmallerandfinerMellstockstring-band,whicheschewedallbutthecatgut,itincludedbrassandreedperformersatfullSundayservices,andreachedallacrossthewestgallery.

Onthisnightthereweretwoorthreeviolins,two"cellos,atenorviol,doublebass,hautboy,clarionets,serpent,andsevensingers.

Itwas,however,notthechoir"slabours,butwhatitsmemberschancedtowitness,thatparticularlymarkedtheoccasion.

Theyhadpursuedtheirroundsformanyyearswithoutmeetingwithanyincidentofanunusualkind,butto-night,accordingtotheassertionsofseveral,thereprevailed,tobeginwith,anexceptionallysolemnandthoughtfulmoodamongtwoorthreeoftheoldestintheband,asiftheywerethinkingtheymightbejoinedbythephantomsofdeadfriendswhohadbeenoftheirnumberinearlieryears,andnowweremuteinthechurchyardunderflatteningmounds——

friendswhohadshowngreaterzestformelodyintheirtimethanwasshowninthis;orthatsomepastvoiceofasemi-transparentfiguremightquaverfromsomebedroom-windowitsacknowledgmentoftheirnocturnalgreeting,insteadofafamiliarlivingneighbour.Whetherthiswerefactorfancy,theyoungermembersofthechoirmettogetherwiththeircustomarythoughtlessnessandbuoyancy.Whentheyhadgatheredbythestonestumpofthecrossinthemiddleofthevillage,neartheWhiteHorseInn,whichtheymadetheirstartingpoint,someoneobservedthattheywerefullearly,thatitwasnotyettwelveo"clock.ThelocalwaitsofthosedaysmostlyrefrainedfromsoundinganotebeforeChristmasmorninghadastronomicallyarrived,andnotcaringtoreturntotheirbeer,theydecidedtobeginwithsomeoutlyingcottagesinSidlinchLane,wherethepeoplehadnoclocks,andwouldnotknowwhetheritwerenightormorning.

Inthatdirectiontheyaccordinglywent;andastheyascendedtohighergroundtheirattentionwasattractedbyalightbeyondthehouses,quiteatthetopofthelane.

TheroadfromChalk-NewtontoBroadSidlinchisabouttwomileslongandinthemiddleofitscourse,whereitpassesovertheridgedividingthetwovillages,itcrossesatrightangles,ashasbeenstated,thelonelymonotonousoldhighwayknownasLongAshLane,whichruns,straightasasurveyor"sline,manymilesnorthandsouthofthisspot,onthefoundationofaRomanroad,andhasoftenbeenmentionedinthesenarratives.Thoughnowquitedesertedandgrass-

grown,atthebeginningofthecenturyitwaswellkeptandfrequentedbytraffic.Theglimmeringlightappearedtocomefromtheprecisepointwheretheroadsintersected.

"IthinkIknowwhatthatmidmean!"oneofthegroupremarked.

Theystoodafewmoments,discussingtheprobabilityofthelighthavingorigininaneventofwhichrumourshadreachedthem,andresolvedtogoupthehill.

Approachingthehighlandtheirconjectureswerestrengthened.LongAshLanecutathwartthem,rightandleft;andtheysawthatatthejunctionofthefourways,underthehand-post,agravewasdug,intowhich,asthechoirdrewnigh,acorpsehadjustbeenthrownbythefourSidlinchmenemployedforthepurpose.Thecartandhorsewhichhadbroughtthebodythitherstoodsilentlyby.

ThesingersandmusiciansfromChalk-Newtonhalted,andlookedonwhilethegravediggersshovelledinandtroddowntheearth,till,theholebeingfilled,thelatterthrewtheirspadesintothecart,andpreparedtodepart.

"Whomidyebea-buryingthere?"askedLotSwanhillsinaraisedvoice."Notthesergeant?"

TheSidlinchmenhadbeensodeeplyengrossedintheirtaskthattheyhadnotnoticedthelanternsoftheChalk-Newtonchoirtillnow.

"What——beyoutheNewtoncarol-singers?"returnedtherepresentativesofSidlinch.

"Ay,sure.CanitbethatitisoldSergeantHolwayyou"vea-buriedthere?"

""Tisso.You"veheardaboutit,then?"

Thechoirknewnoparticulars——onlythathehadshothimselfinhisapple-closetonthepreviousSunday."Nobodyseem"thtoknowwhat"adiditfor,"ab"lieve?Leastwise,wedon"tknowatChalk-Newton,"

continuedLot.

"Oyes.Itallcameoutattheinquest."

Thesingersdrewclose,andtheSidlinchmen,pausingtorestaftertheirlabours,toldthestory."Itwasallowingtothatsonofhis,pooroldman.Itbrokehisheart."

"Butthesonisasoldier,surely;nowwithhisregimentintheEastIndies?"

"Ay.Andithavebeenroughwiththearmyovertherelately."Twasapityhisfatherpersuadedhimtogo.ButLukeshouldn"thavetwytedthesergeanto"t,since"adiditforthebest."

Thecircumstances,inbrief,werethese:Thesergeantwhohadcometothislamentableend,fatheroftheyoungsoldierwhohadgonewithhisregimenttotheEast,hadbeensingularlycomfortableinhismilitaryexperiences,thesehavingendedlongbeforetheoutbreakofthegreatwarwithFrance.Onhisdischarge,afterdulyservinghistime,hehadreturnedtohisnativevillage,andmarried,andtakenkindlytodomesticlife.ButthewarinwhichEnglandnextinvolvedherselfhadcosthimmanyfrettingsthatageandinfirmitypreventedhimfrombeingeveragainanactiveunitofthearmy.Whenhisonlysongrewtoyoungmanhood,andthequestionaroseofhisgoingoutinlife,theladexpressedhiswishtobeamechanic.Buthisfatheradvisedenthusiasticallyforthearmy.

"Tradeiscomingtonothinginthesedays,"hesaid."AndifthewarwiththeFrenchlasts,asitwill,tradewillbestillworse.Thearmy,Luke——that"sthethingfor"ee."Twasthemakingofme,and"twillbethemakingofyou.Ihadn"thalfsuchachanceasyou"llhaveinthesesplendidhottertimes."

Lukedemurred,forhewasahome-keeping,peace-lovingyouth.But,puttingrespectfultrustinhisfather"sjudgment,heatlengthgaveway,andenlistedinthe——dFoot.InthecourseofafewweekshewassentouttoIndiatohisregiment,whichhaddistinguisheditselfintheEastunderGeneralWellesley.

ButLukewasunlucky.Newscamehomeindirectlythathelaysickoutthere;andthenononerecentdaywhenhisfatherwasoutwalking,theoldmanhadreceivedtidingsthataletterawaitedhimatCasterbridge.Thesergeantsentaspecialmessengerthewholeninemiles,andtheletterwaspaidforandbroughthome;butthough,ashehadguessed,itcamefromLuke,itscontentswereofanunexpectedtenor.

Theletterhadbeenwrittenduringatimeofdeepdepression.Lukesaidthathislifewasaburdenandaslavery,andbitterlyreproachedhisfatherforadvisinghimtoembarkonacareerforwhichhefeltunsuited.Hefoundhimselfsufferingfatiguesandillnesseswithoutgainingglory,andengagedinacausewhichhedidnotunderstandorappreciate.Ifithadnotbeenforhisfather"sbadadvicehe,Luke,wouldnowhavebeenworkingcomfortablyatatradeinthevillagethathehadneverwishedtoleave.

Afterreadingtheletterthesergeantadvancedafewstepstillhewasquiteoutofsightofeverybody,andthensatdownonthebankbythewayside.

Whenhearosehalf-an-hourlaterhelookedwitheredandbroken,andfromthatdayhisnaturalspiritslefthim.Woundedtothequickbyhisson"ssarcasticstings,heindulgedinliquormoreandmorefrequently.Hiswifehaddiedsomeyearsbeforethisdate,andthesergeantlivedaloneinthehousewhichhadbeenhers.OnemorningintheDecemberundernoticethereportofagunhadbeenheardonhispremises,andonenteringtheneighboursfoundhiminadyingstate.Hehadshothimselfwithanoldfirelockthatheusedforscaringbirds;andfromwhathehadsaidthedaybefore,andthearrangementshehadmadeforhisdecease,therewasnodoubtthathisendhadbeendeliberatelyplanned,asaconsequenceofthedespondencyintowhichhehadbeenthrownbyhisson"sletter.Thecoroner"sjuryreturnedaverdictoffelodese.

"Here"shisson"sletter,"saidoneoftheSidlinchmen.""Twasfoundinhisfather"spocket.Youcanseebythestateo"thowmanytimeshereaditover.Howsomever,theLord"swillbedone,sinceitmust,whetherorno."

Thegravewasfilledupandlevelled,nomoundbeingshapedoverit.

TheSidlinchmenthenbadetheChalk-Newtonchoirgood-night,anddepartedwiththecartinwhichtheyhadbroughtthesergeant"sbodytothehill.Whentheirtreadhaddiedawayfromtheear,andthewindsweptovertheisolatedgravewithitscustomarysiffleofindifference,LotSwanhillsturnedandspoketooldRichardToller,thehautboyplayer.

""Tisharduponaman,andheawoldsojer,toserveenso,Richard.

Notthatthesergeantwaseverinabattlebiggerthanwouldgointoahalf-acrepaddock,that"strue.Still,hissouloughttohaeasgoodachanceasanotherman"s,allthesame,hey?"

Richardrepliedthathewasquiteofthesameopinion."Whatd"yesaytoliftingupacarreloverhisgrave,as"tisChristmas,andnohurrytobegindowninparish,and"twouldn"ttakeuptenminutes,andnotasoulupheretosayusnay,orknowanythingaboutit?"

Lotnoddedassent."Themanoughttohaehischances,"herepeated.

"Yemayaswellspetuponhisgrave,forallthegoodweshalldoenbywhatweliftup,nowhe"sgotsofar,"saidNotton,theclarionetmanandprofessedscepticofthechoir."ButI"magreediftherestbe."

Theythereuponplacedthemselvesinasemicirclebythenewlystirredearth,androusedthedullairwiththewell-knownNumberSixteenoftheircollection,whichLotgaveoutasbeingtheonehethoughtbestsuitedtotheoccasionandthemoodHecomes"thepri"-sonersto"re-lease",InSa"-tan"sbon"-dageheld".

"Jownit——we"veneverplayedtoadeadmanafore,"saidEzraCattstock,when,havingconcludedthelastverse,theystoodreflectingforabreathortwo."Butitdoseemmoremercifulthantogoawayandleaveen,astheyt"otherfellershavedone."

"NowbackalongtoNewton,andbythetimewegetoverrightthepa"son"s"twillbehalfaftertwelve,"saidtheleader.

Theyhadnot,however,donemorethangatheruptheirinstrumentswhenthewindbroughttotheirnoticethenoiseofavehiclerapidlydrivenupthesamelanefromSidlinchwhichthegravediggershadlatelyretraced.Toavoidbeingrunoverwhenmovingon,theywaitedtillthebenightedtraveller,whoeverhemightbe,shouldpassthemwheretheystoodinthewiderareaoftheCross.

Inhalfaminutethelightofthelanternsfelluponahiredfly,drawnbyasteamingandjadedhorse.Itreachedthehand-post,whenavoicefromtheinsidecried,"Stophere!"Thedriverpulledrein.

Thecarriagedoorwasopenedfromwithin,andthereleaptoutaprivatesoldierintheuniformofsomelineregiment.Helookedaround,andwasapparentlysurprisedtoseethemusiciansstandingthere.

"Haveyouburiedamanhere?"heasked.

"No.Webain"tSidlinchfolk,thankGod;webeNewtonchoir.Thoughamanisjustburiedhere,that"strue;andwe"veraisedacarreloverthepoormortal"snatomy.What——domyeyesseebeforemeyoungLukeHolway,thatwentwi"hisregimenttotheEastIndies,ordoI

seehisspiritstraightfromthebattlefield?Beyouthesonthatwrotetheletter——"

"Don"t——don"taskme.Thefuneralisover,then?"

"Therewernofuneral,inaChristenmannerofspeaking.But"sburied,sureenough.Youmusthavemetthemengoingbackintheemptycart."

"Likeadoginaditch,andallthroughme!"

Heremainedsilent,lookingatthegrave,andtheycouldnothelppityinghim."Myfriends,"hesaid,"Iunderstandbetternow.Youhave,Isuppose,inneighbourlycharity,sungpeacetohissoul?I

thankyou,frommyheart,foryourkindpity.Yes;IamSergeantHolway"smiserableson——I"mthesonwhohasbroughtabouthisfather"sdeath,astrulyasifIhaddoneitwithmyownhand!"

"No,no.Don"tyetakeonso,youngman.He"dbeennaturallylowforagoodwhile,offandon,sowehear."