第15章

"Very，"saidtheyoungman；"butit’stheLord’swill。"

"Yes，"saidTantSannie，andsighed。

"Shewassuchagoodwife，aunt：I’veknownherbreakachurn—stickoveramaid’sheadforonlylettingdustcomeonamilkcloth。"

TantSanniefeltatwingeofjealousy。Shehadneverbrokenachurn—stickonamaid’shead。

"Ihopeyourwifemadeagoodend，"shesaid。

"Oh，beautiful，aunt：shesaidupapsalmandtwohymnsandahalfbeforeshedied。"

"Didsheleaveanymessages？"askedTantSannie。

"No，"saidtheyoungman；"butthenightbeforeshediedIwaslyingatthefootofherbed；Ifeltherfootkickme。

"’Piet，’shesaid。

"’Annie，myheart，’saidI。

"’Mylittlebabythatdiedyesterdayhasbeenhere，anditstoodoverthewagon—box，’shesaid。

"’Whatdiditsay？’Iasked。

"’ItsaidthatifIdiedyoumustmarryafatwoman。’

"’Iwill，’Isaid，andIwenttosleepagain。Presentlyshewokeme。

"’Thelittlebabyhasbeenhereagain，anditsaysyoumustmarryawomanoverthirty，andwho’shadtwohusbands。’

"Ididn’tgotosleepafterthatforalongtime，aunt；butwhenIdidshewokeme。

"’Thebabyhasbeenhereagain，’shesaid，’anditsaysyoumustn’tmarryawomanwithamole。’ItoldherIwouldn’t；andthenextdayshedied。"

"ThatwasavisionfromtheRedeemer，"saidTantSannie。

Theyoungmannoddedhisheadmournfully。Hethoughtofayoungersisterofhiswife’swhowasnotfat，andwhohadamole，andofwhomhiswifehadalwaysbeenjealous，andhewishedthelittlebabyhadlikedbetterstayinginheaventhancomingandstandingoverthewagon—chest。

"Isupposethat’swhyyoucametome，"saidTantSannie。

"Yes，aunt。AndpasaidIoughttogetmarriedbeforeshearing—time。Itisbadifthere’snoonetoseeafterthingsthen；andthemaidswastesuchalotoffat。"

"Whendoyouwanttogetmarried？"

"Nextmonth，aunt，"saidtheyoungmaninatoneofhopelessresignation。

"MayIkissyou，aunt？"

"Fie！fie！"saidTantSannie，andthengavehimaresoundingkiss。Come，drawyourchairalittlecloser，"shesaid，andtheirelbowsnowtouching，theysatonthroughthenight。

Thenextmorningatdawn，asEmpassedthroughTantSannie’sbedroom，shefoundtheBoer—womanpullingoffherbootspreparatorytoclimbingintobed。

"WhereisPietVanderWalt？"

"Justgone，"saidTantSannie；"andIamgoingtomarryhimthisdayfourweeks。Iamdeadsleepy，"sheadded；"thestupidthingdoesn’tknowhowtotalklove—talkatall，"andsheclimbedintothefour—poster，clothesandall，anddrewthequiltuptoherchin……

OnthedayprecedingTantSannie’swedding，GregoryRosesatintheblazingsunonthestonewallbehindhisdaub—and—wattlehouse。Itwaswarm，buthewasintentlywatchingasmallbuggythatwasbeingrecklesslydrivenoverthebushesinthedirectionofthefarmhouse。Gregoryneverstirredtillithadvanished；then，findingthestoneshot，heslippeddownandwalkedintothehouse。Hekickedthelittlepailthatlayinthedoorway，andsentitintoonecorner；thatdidhimgood。Thenhesatdownonthebox，andbegancuttinglettersoutofapieceofnewspaper。Findingthatthesnippingslitteredthefloor，hepickedthemupandbeganscribblingonhisblotting—paper。HetriedtheeffectofdifferentinitialsbeforethenameRose：G。Rose，E。Rose，L。Rose，Rose，L。L。，L。L。Rose。Whenhehadcoveredthesheet，helookedatitdiscontentedlyalittlewhile，thensuddenlybegantowritealetter：

"BelovedSister，"ItisalongwhilesinceIlastwrotetoyou，butIhavehadnotime。

ThisisthefirstmorningIhavebeenathomesinceIdon’tknowwhen。Emalwaysexpectsmetogodowntothefarmhouseinthemorning；butIdidn’tfeelasthoughIcouldstandtheridetoday。

"Ihavemuchnewsforyou。

"TantSannie，Em’sBoerstepmother，istobemarriedtomorrow。Sheisgonetotowntoday，andtheweddingfeastistobeatherbrother’sfarm。EmandIaregoingtorideoveronhorseback，buthercousinisgoingtorideinthebuggywiththatGerman。Idon’tthinkI’vewrittentoyousinceshecamebackfromschool。Idon’tthinkyouwouldlikeheratall，Jemima；

there’ssomethingsoproudabouther。Shethinksjustbecauseshe’shandsomethere’snobodygoodenoughtotalktoher，andjustasiftherehadnobodyelsebutherbeentoboarding—schoolbefore。

"Theyaregoingtohaveagrandaffairtomorrow；alltheBoersaboutarecoming，andtheyaregoingtodanceallnight；butIdon’tthinkIshalldanceatall；for，asEm’scousinsays，theseBoerdancesarelowthings。

IamsureIonlydancedatthelasttopleaseEm。Idon’tknowwhysheisfondofdancing。EmtalkedofourbeingmarriedonthesamedayasTantSannie；butIsaiditwouldbenicerforherifshewaitedtilltheshearingwasover，andItookherdowntoseeyou。Isupposeshewillhavetolivewithus（Em’scousin，Imean），asshehasnotanythingintheworldbutapoorfiftypounds。Idon’tlikeheratall，Jemima，andIdon’tthinkyouwould。She’sgotsuchqueerways；she’salwaysdrivingaboutinagigwiththatlowGerman；andIdon’tthinkit’satallthethingforawomantobegoingaboutwithamanshe’snotengagedto。Doyou？Ifitwasmenow，ofcourse，whoamakindofconnection，itwouldbedifferent。

Thewayshetreatsme，consideringthatIamsosoontobehercousin，isnotatallnice。Itookdownmyalbumtheotherdaywithyourlikenessesinit，andItoldhershecouldlookatit，andputitdownclosetoher；

butshejustsaid，Thankyou，andnevereventouchedit，asmuchastosay—

—Whatareyourrelationstome？

"Shegetsthewildesthorsesinthatbuggy，andahorridsnappishlittlecurbelongingtotheGermansittinginfront，andthenshedrivesoutalone。Idon’tthinkit’satallproperforawomantodriveoutalone；I

wouldn’tallowitifshewasmysister。Theothermorning，Idon’tknowhowithappened，Iwasgoinginthewayfromwhichshewascoming，andthatlittlebeast——theycallhimDoss——begantobarkwhenhesawme——healwaysdoes，thelittlewretch——andthehorsesbegantospring，andkickedthesplashboardalltopieces。ItwasasighttoseeJemima！ShehasgotthelittlesthandsIeversaw——Icouldholdthembothinoneofmine，andnotknowthatI’dgotanythingexceptthattheyweresosoft；butsheheldthosehorsesinasthoughtheyweremadeofiron。WhenIwantedtohelphershesaid，’Nothankyou：Icanmanagethemmyself。I’vegotapairofbitsthatwouldbreaktheirjawsifIusedthemwell，’andshelaughedanddroveaway。It’ssounwomanly。

"Tellfathermyhireofthegroundwillnotbeoutforsixmonths，andbeforethatEmandIwillbemarried。Mypairofbirdsisbreedingnow，butIhaven’tbeendowntoseethemforthreedays。Idon’tseemtocareaboutanythinganymore。Idon’tknowwhatitis；I’mnotwell。IfIgointotownonSaturdayIwillletthedoctorexamineme；butperhapsshe’llgoinherself。It’saverystrangething，Jemima，butsheneverwillsendherletterstopostbyme。IfIaskhershehasnone，andtheverynextdayshegoesinandpoststhemherself。Youmustn’tsayanythingaboutit，Jemima，buttwiceI’vebroughtherlettersfromthepostinagentleman’shand，andI’msuretheywerebothfromthesameperson，becauseInoticedeverylittlemark，eventhedottingofthei’s。

"Ofcourseit’snothingtome；butforEm’ssakeIcan’thelpfeelinganinterestinher，howevermuchImaydislikehermyself；andIhopeshe’suptonothing。Ipitythemanwhomarriesher；Iwouldn’tbehimforanything。IfIhadawifewithprideI’dmakehergiveitup，sharp。I

don’tbelieveinamanwhocan’tmakeawomanobeyhim。NowEm——I’mveryfondofher，asyouknow——butifItellhertoputonacertaindress，thatdresssheputson；andifItellhertositonacertainseat，onthatseatshesits；andifItellhernottospeaktoacertainindividual，shedoesnotspeaktothem。Ifamanletsawomandowhathedoesn’tlikehe’samuff。

"Givemylovetomotherandthechildren。Theveldhereislookingprettygood，andthesheeparebettersincewewashedthem。Tellfatherthedipherecommendedisverygood。

"Emsendsherlovetoyou。Sheismakingmesomewoollenshirts；buttheydon’tfitmesonicelyasthosemothermademe。

"Writesoonto"Yourlovingbrother，Gregory。

"P。S。——Shedrovepastjustnow；Iwassittingonthekraalwallrightbeforehereyes，andsheneverevenbowed。G。N。R。"

Chapter2。VI。ABoer—wedding。

"Ididn’tknowbeforeyouweresofondofridinghard，"saidGregorytohislittlebetrothed。

TheywerecanteringslowlyontheroadtoOomMuller’sonthemorningofthewedding。

"Doyoucallthisridinghard？"askedEminsomeastonishment。

"OfcourseIdo！It’senoughtobreakthehorses’necks，andknockoneupforthewholedaybesides，"headdedtestily；thentwistedhisheadtolookatthebuggythatcameonbehind。"IthoughtWaldowassuchamaddriver；

theyaretakingiteasilyenoughtoday，"saidGregory。"Onewouldthinktheblackstallionswerelame。"

"Isupposetheywanttokeepoutofourdust，"saidEm。"See，theystandstillassoonaswedo。"

Perceivingthistobethecase，Gregoryrodeon。

"It’sallthathorseofyours：shekicksupsuchaconfoundeddust，I

can’tstanditmyself，"hesaid。

Meanwhilethecartcameonslowlyenough。

"Takethereins，"saidLyndall，and"andmakethemwalk。Iwanttorestandwatchtheirhoofstoday——nottobeexhilarated；Iamsotired。"

Sheleanedbackinhercorner，andWaldodroveonslowlyinthegreydawnlightalongthelevelroad。Theypassedtheverymilk—bushbehindwhichsomanyyearsbeforetheoldGermanhadfoundtheKafferwoman。Buttheirthoughtswerenotwithhimthatmorning：theywerethethoughtsoftheyoung，thatrunouttomeetthefuture，andlabourinthepresent。Atlasthetouchedherarm。

"Whatisit？"

"Ifearedyouhadgonetosleepandmightbejoltedout，"hesaid；"yousatsoquietly。"

"No；donottalktome；Iamnotasleep；"butafteratimeshesaidsuddenly："Itmustbeaterriblethingtobringahumanbeingintotheworld。"

Waldolookedround；shesatdrawnintothecorner，herbluecloudwoundtightlyabouther，andshestillwatchedthehorses’feet。Havingnocommenttoofferonhersomewhatunexpectedremark，hemerelytoucheduphishorses。

"Ihavenoconscience，none，"sheadded；"butIwouldnotliketobringasoulintothisworld。Whenitsinnedandwhenitsufferedsomethinglikeadeadhandwouldfallonme——’Youdidit，you，foryourownpleasureyoucreatedthisthing！Seeyourwork！’Ifitlivedtobeeightyitwouldalwayshanglikeamillstoneroundmyneck，havetherighttodemandgoodfromme，andcursemeforitssorrow。AparentisonlyliketoGod——ifhisworkturnsoutbad，somuchtheworseforhim；hedarenotwashhishandsofit。Timeandyearscanneverbringthedaywhenyoucansaytoyourchild：’Soul，whathaveItodowithyou？’"

Waldosaiddreamingly：

"Itisamarvellousthingthatonesoulshouldhavepowertocauseanother。"

Sheheardthewordsassheheardthebeatingofthehorses’hoofs；herthoughtsranonintheirownline。

"Theysay，’Godsendsthelittlebabies。’Ofallthedastardlyrevoltingliesmentelltosuitthemselves，Ihatethatmost。Isupposemyfathersaidsowhenheknewhewasdyingofconsumption，andmymotherwhensheknewshehadnothingtosupportmeon，andtheycreatedmetofeedlikeadogfromstrangerhands。MendonotsayGodsendsthebooks，orthenewspaperarticles，orthemachinestheymake；andthensigh，andshrugtheirshouldersandsaytheycan’thelpit。Whydotheysaysoaboutotherthings？Liars！’Godsendsthelittlebabies！’"Shestruckherfootfretfullyagainstthesplashboard。"Thesmallchildrensaysoearnestly。

TheytouchthelittlestrangerreverentlywhohasjustcomefromGod’sfarcountry，andtheypeepabouttheroomtoseeifnotonewhitefeatherhasdroppedfromthewingoftheangelthatbroughthim。Ontheirlipsthephrasemeansmuch；onallothersitisadeliberatelie。Noticeable，too，"

shesaid，droppinginaninstantfromthepassionateintoalow，mockingtone，"whenpeoplearemarried，thoughtheyshouldhavesixtychildren，theythrowthewholeonusonGod。Whentheyarenot，wehearnothingaboutGod’shavingsentthem。Whentherehasbeennolegalcontractbetweentheparents，whosendsthelittlechildrenthen？Thedevilperhaps！"Shelaughedherlittlesilvery，mockinglaugh。"Oddthatsomemenshouldcomefromhellandsomefromheaven，andyetalllooksomuchalikewhentheygethere。"

Waldowonderedather。Hehadnotthekeytoherthoughts，anddidnotseethestringonwhichtheywerestrung。Shedrewhercloudtighterabouther。

"Itmustbeverynicetobelieveinthedevil，"shesaid；"IwishIdid。

IfitwouldbeofanyuseIwouldpraythreehoursnightandmorningonmybareknees，’God，letmebelieveinSatan。’Heissousefultothosepeoplewhodo。Theymaybeasselfishandassensualastheyplease，and，betweenGod’swillandthedevil’saction，alwayshavesomeonetothrowtheirsinon。Butwe，wretchedunbelievers，webearourownburdens：wemustsay，’Imyselfdidit，I。NotGod，notSatan；Imyself！’Thatisthestingthatstrikesdeep。Waldo，"shesaidgently，withasuddenandcompletechangeofmanner，"Ilikeyousomuch，Iloveyou。"Sherestedhercheeksoftlyagainsthisshoulder。"WhenIamwithyouIneverknowthatIamawomanandyouareaman；Ionlyknowthatweareboththingsthatthink。OthermenwhenIamwiththem，whetherIlovethemornot，theyaremerebodiestome；butyouareaspirit；Ilikeyou。Look，"shesaidquickly，sinkingbackintohercorner，"whataprettypinknessthereisonallthehilltops！Thesunwillriseinamoment。"

Waldoliftedhiseyestolookroundoverthecircleofgoldenhills；andthehorses，asthefirstsunbeamstouchedthem，shooktheirheadsandchampedtheirbrightbits，tillthebrasssettingsintheirharnessglitteredagain。

Itwaseighto’clockwhentheynearedthefarmhouse：ared—brickbuilding，withkraalstotherightandasmallorchardtotheleft。Alreadythereweresignsofunusuallifeandbustle：onecart，awagon，andacoupleofsaddlesagainstthewallbetokenedthearrivalofafewearlyguests，whosenumberswouldsoonbelargelyincreased。ToaDutchcountryweddingguestsstartupinnumbersastonishingtoonewhohasmerelyriddenthroughtheplainsofsparsely—inhabitedkaroo。

Asthemorningadvances，ridersonmanyshadesofsteedsappearfromalldirections，andaddtheirsaddlestothelongrowsagainstthewalls，shakehands，drinkcoffee，andstandaboutoutsideingroupstowatchthearrivingcartsandox—wagons，astheyareunburdenedoftheirheavyfreightofmassiveTantesandcomelydaughters，followedbyswarmsofchildrenofallsizes，dressedinallmannerofprintandmoleskin，whoaretakencareofbyHottentot，Kaffer，andhalf—castenurses，whosemany—shadedcomplexions，rangingfromlightyellowuptoebonyblack，addvarietytotheanimatedscene。

Everywhereisexcitementandbustle，whichgraduallyincreasesasthetimeforthereturnofthewedding—partyapproaches。Preparationsforthefeastareactivelyadvancinginthekitchen；coffeeisliberallyhandedround，andamidaprofoundsensation，andthefiringofguns，thehorse—wagondrawsup，andthewedding—partyalight。Brideandbridegroom，withtheirattendants，marchsolemnlytothemarriage—chamber，wherebedandboxaredeckedoutinwhite，withendsofribbonandartificialflowers，andwhereonarowofchairsthepartysolemnlyseatthemselves。Afteratimebridesmaidandbestmanrise，andconductinwithceremonyeachindividualguest，towishsuccessandtokissbrideandbridegroom。

Thenthefeastissetonthetable，anditisalmostsunsetbeforethedishesareclearedaway，andthepleasureofthedaybegins。Everythingisremovedfromthegreatfrontroom，andthemudfloor，wellrubbedwithbullock’sblood，glistenslikepolishedmahogany。Thefemaleportionoftheassemblyflockintotheside—roomstoattirethemselvesfortheevening；andre—issuecladinwhitemuslin，andgaywithbrightribbonsandbrassjewelry。Thedancingbeginsasthefirsttallowcandlesarestuckupaboutthewalls，themusiccomingfromacoupleoffiddlersinacorneroftheroom。Brideandbridegroomopentheball，andthefloorissooncoveredwithwhirlingcouples，andeveryone’sspiritsrise。Thebridalpairminglefreelyinthethrong，andhereandthereamusicalmansingsvigorouslyashedragshispartnerthroughtheBlueWaterorJohnSperiwig；

boysshoutandapplaud，andtheenjoymentandconfusionareintense，tilleleveno’clockcomes。Bythistimethechildrenwhoswarmintheside—

roomsarenottobekeptquietlonger，evenbyhunchesofbreadandcake；

thereisageneralhowlandwail，thatrisesyethigherthanthescrapingoffiddles，andmothersrushfromtheirpartnerstoknocksmallheadstogether，andcufflittlenursemaids，andforcethewailersdownintounoccupiedcornersofbeds，undertablesandbehindboxes。Inhalfanhoureveryvarietyofchildishsnoreisheardonallsides，andithasbecomeperiloustoraiseorsetdownafootinanyoftheside—roomslestasmallheadorhandshouldbecrushed。

Nowtoothebusyfeethavebrokenthesolidcoatingofthefloor，andacloudoffinedustarises，thatmakesayellowhaloroundthecandles，andsetsasthmaticpeoplecoughing，andgrowsdenser，tilltorecogniseanyoneontheoppositesideoftheroombecomesimpossible，andapartner’sfaceisseenthroughayellowmist。

Attwelveo’clockthebrideisledtothemarriage—chamberandundressed；

thelightsareblownout，andthebridegroomisbroughttothedoorbythebestman，whogiveshimthekey；thenthedoorisshutandlocked，andtherevelsrisehigherthanever。Thereisnothoughtofsleeptillmorning，andnounoccupiedspotwheresleepmaybefound。

ItwasatthisstageoftheproceedingsonthenightofTantSannie’sweddingthatLyndallsatnearthedoorwayinoneoftheside—rooms，towatchthedancersastheyappearedanddisappearedintheyellowcloudofdust。Gregorysatmoodilyinacornerofthelargedancing—room。Hislittlebetrothedtouchedhisarm。

"IwishyouwouldgoandaskLyndalltodancewithyou，"shesaid；"shemustbesotired；shehassatstillthewholeevening。"

"Ihaveaskedherthreetimes，"repliedherlovershortly。"I’mnotgoingtobeherdog，andcreeptoherfeet，justtogiveherthepleasureofkickingme——notforyou，Em，norforanybodyelse。"

"Oh，Ididn’tknowyouhadaskedher，Greg，"saidhislittlebetrothed，humbly；andshewentawaytopouroutcoffee。

Nevertheless，sometimeafterGregoryfoundhehadshiftedsofarroundtheroomastobeclosetothedoorwhereLyndallsat。Afterstandingforsometimeheinquiredwhetherhemightnotbringheracupofcoffee。

Shedeclined；butstillhestoodon（whyshouldhenotstandthereaswellasanywhereelse？），andthenhesteppedintothebedroom。

"MayInotbringyouastove，MissLyndall，toputyourfeeton？"

"Thankyou。"

Hesoughtforone，andputitunderherfeet。

"Thereisadraughtfromthatbrokenwindow：shallIstuffsomethinginthepane？"

"No，wewantair。"

Gregorylookedround，butnothingelsesuggestingitself，hesatdownonaboxontheoppositesideofthedoor。Lyndallsatbeforehim，herchinrestinginherhand；hereyes，steel—greybyday，butblackbynight，lookedthroughthedoorwayintothenextroom。Afteratimehethoughtshehadentirelyforgottenhisproximity，andhedaredtoinspectthelittlehandsandneckasheneverdaredwhenhewasinmomentarydreadoftheeyesbeingturneduponhim。

Shewasdressedinblack，whichseemedtotakeheryetfurtherfromthewhite—clad，gewgawedwomenabouther；andthelittlehandswerewhite，andthediamondringglittered。Wherehadshegotthatring？Hebentforwardalittleandtriedtodeciphertheletters，butthecandle—lightwastoofaint。Whenhelookeduphereyeswerefixedonhim。Shewaslookingathim——not，Gregoryfelt，asshehadeverlookedathimbefore；notasthoughhewereastumporastonethatchancehadthrowninherway。Tonight，whetheritwerecritically，orkindly，orunkindly，hecouldnottell，butshelookedathim，attheman，GregoryRose，withattention。Avagueelationfilledhim。Heclinchedhisfisttighttothinkofsomegoodideahemightexpresstoher；butofallthoseprofoundthingshehadpicturedhimselfassayingtoher，whenhesataloneinthedaub—and—wattlehouse，notonecame。Hesaid，atlast：

"TheseBoerdancesareverylowthings；"andthen，assoonasithadgonefromhim，hethoughtitwasnotacleverremark，andwisheditback。

BeforeLyndallrepliedEmlookedinatthedoor。

"Oh，come，"shesaid；"theyaregoingtohavethecushion—dance。Idonotwanttokissanyofthesefellows。Takemequickly。"

SheslippedherhandintoGregory’sarm。

"Itissodusty，Em；doyoucaretodanceanymore？"heasked，withoutrising。

"Oh，Idonotmindthedust，andthedancingrestsme。"

Buthedidnotmove。

"Ifeeltired；IdonotthinkIshalldanceagain，"hesaid。

Emwithdrewherhand，andayoungfarmercametothedoorandboreheroff。

"Ihaveoftenimagined，"remarkedGregory——butLyndallhadrisen。

"Iamtired，"shesaid。"IwonderwhereWaldois；hemusttakemehome。

Thesepeoplewillnotleaveofftillmorning，Isuppose；itisthreealready。"

Shemadeherwaypastthefiddlers，andabenchfulloftireddancers，andpassedoutatthefrontdoor。Onthestoepagroupofmenandboysweresmoking，peepinginatthewindows，andcrackingcoarsejokes。Waldowascertainlynotamongthem，andshemadeherwaytothecartsandwagonsdrawnupatsomedistancefromthehomestead。

"Waldo，"shesaid，peeringintoalargecart，"isthatyou？Iamsodazedwiththetallowcandles，Iseenothing。"

Hehadmadehimselfaplacebetweenthetwoseats。Sheclimbedupandsatontheslopingfloorinfront。

"IthoughtIshouldfindyouhere，"shesaid，drawingherskirtupabouthershoulders。"Youmusttakemehomepresently，butnotnow。"

Sheleanedherheadontheseatneartohis，andtheylistenedinsilencetothefitfultwangingofthefiddlesasthenight—windboreitfromthefarmhouse，andtotheceaselessthudofthedancers，andthepealsofgrosslaughter。Shestretchedoutherlittlehandtofeelforhis。

"Itissonicetoliehereandhearthatnoise，"shesaid。"Iliketofeelthatstrangelifebeatingupagainstme。Iliketorealiseformsoflifeutterlyunlikemine。"Shedrewalongbreath。"Whenmyownlifefeelssmall，andIamoppressedwithit，Iliketocrushtogether，andseeitinapicture，inaninstant，amultitudeofdisconnectedunlikephasesofhumanlife——amediaevalmonkwithhisstringofbeadspacingthequietorchard，andlookingupfromthegrassathisfeettotheheavyfruit—

trees；littleMalayboysplayingnakedonashiningsea—beach；aHindoophilosopheraloneunderhisbanyantree，thinking，thinking，thinking，sothatinthethoughtofGodhemaylosehimself；atroopofBacchanaliansdressedinwhite，withcrownsofvine—leaves，dancingalongtheRomanstreets；amartyronthenightofhisdeathlookingthroughthenarrowwindowtothesky，andfeelingthatalreadyhehasthewingsthatshallbearhimup"（shemovedherhanddreamilyoverherface）；"anepicureandiscoursingataRomanbathtoaknotofhisdisciplesonthenatureofhappiness；aKafferwitchdoctorseekingforherbsbymoonlight，whilefromthehutsonthehillsidecomethesoundofdogsbarking，andthevoicesofwomenandchildren；amothergivingbread—and—milktoherchildreninlittlewoodenbasinsandsingingtheeveningsong。Iliketoseeitall；I

feelitrunthroughme——thatlifebelongstome；itmakesmylittlelifelarger，itbreaksdownthenarrowwallsthatshutmein。"

Shesighed，anddrewalongbreath。

"Haveyoumadeanyplans？"sheaskedhimpresently。

"Yes，"hesaid，thewordscominginjets，withpausesbetween；"Iwilltakethegreymare——Iwilltravelfirst——Iwillseetheworld——thenIwillfindwork。"

"Whatwork？"

"Idonotknow。"

Shemadealittleimpatientmovement。

"Thatisnoplan；travel——seetheworld——findwork！Ifyougointotheworldaimless，withoutadefiniteobject，dreaming——dreaming，youwillbedefinitelydefeated，bamboozled，knockedthiswayandthat。Intheendyouwillstandwithyourbeautifullifeallspent，andnothingtoshow。Theytalkofgenius——itisnothingbutthis，thatamanknowswhathecandobest，anddoesit，andnothingelse。Waldo，"shesaid，knittingherlittlefingerscloseramonghis，"IwishIcouldhelpyou；IwishIcouldmakeyouseethatyoumustdecidewhatyouwillbeanddo。Itdoesnotmatterwhatyouchoose——beafarmer，businessman，artist，whatyouwill——butknowyouraim，andliveforthatonething。Wehaveonlyonelife。Thesecretofsuccessisconcentration；wherevertherehasbeenagreatlife，oragreatwork，thathasgonebefore。Tasteeverythingalittle，lookateverythingalittle；butliveforonething。Anythingispossibletoamanwhoknowshisendandmovesstraightforit，andforitalone。IwillshowyouwhatImean，"shesaid，concisely；"wordsaregastillyoucondensethemintopictures。"

"Supposeawoman，young，friendlessasIam，theweakestthingonGod’searth。Butshemustmakeherwaythroughlife。Whatshewouldbeshecannotbebecausesheisawoman；soshelookscarefullyatherselfandtheworldabouther，toseewhereherpathmustbemade。