第5章

AtthisCephasallbutblubberedintheagonyofhissoul。ItwasbadenoughtobetoldbyPattythatshewas"consideringseveral，"buthisfirstromancehadendedinsuchcompletedisasterthathesawinavisionhislifeblasted；changedinonebriefmomentfromthatofaprosperousyoungpaintertothatofablightedanddespisedbungler，whoseweek’swageswerelikelytobeexpendedinmolassestomakegoodtheDeacon’sloss。

"Findthosecleaning—clothsIleftinthehackroom，"orderedPattywithaflashingeye。"Getsomeblocks，orbitsofboard，orstones，formetowalkon，sothatIcangetoutofyournastymess。FillBillMorrill’sjug，quick，andsetitoutonthestepsforhimtopickup。Idon’tknowwhatyou’ddowithoutmetoplanforyou！Lockthefrontdoorandhangfather’ssignthathe’sgonetodinneronthedoorknob。Scoopupallthemolassesyoucanwithoneofthosenewtrowelsonthecounter。Scoop，andscrape，andscoop，andscrape；thenputaclothonyouroldestbroom，pourlotsofwateron，pailafterpail，andswab！Whenyou’veswabbedtillitwon’tdoanymoregood，thenscrub！Afterthat，I

shouldn’twonderifyouhadtofanthefloorwithanewspaperorit’llnevergetdrybeforefathercomeshome。I’llsitontheflourbarrelalittlewhileandadvise，butIcan’tstaylongbecauseI’mgoingtoapicnic。Hurryupanddon’tlookasifyouweregoingtodieanyminute！It’snousecryingoverspiltmolasses。Youdon’tsupposeI’mgoingtotellanytalesafteryou’vemademeanofferofmarriage，doyou？I’mnotsomeanasallthat，thoughImayhavemyfaults。"

Itwasnearlytwoo’clockbeforethecardannouncingDeaconBaxter’sabsenceatdinnerwasremovedfromthefrontdoorknob，andwhenthestorewasfinallyreopenedforbusinessitwasamostdejectedclerkwhodealtoutgroceriestothepublic。Theworstfeatureoftheaffairwasthateveryoneinthetwovillagessuddenlyandcontemporaneouslywantedmolasses，sothatCephasspenttheafternoonreviewinghismiserybycontinuallyturningthetapanddrawingoffthefatalliquid。Then，too，everyinquisitiveboyintheneighborhoodcametothebackofthestoretoviewtheoperation，exclaiming："Whatmakesthefloorsowet？Hain’tbeenspillin’molasses，haveyer？Betyerhave！GoodjokeonOldFoxy！"

X

ONTORYHILL

Ithadbeenaheavenlypicnicthelittletrioallagreedastothat；andwhenIvorysawtheBaxtergirlscominguptheshadypaththatledalongtheriverfromtheIndianCellartothebridge，itwasamerrygroupandatransfiguredRodmanthatcaughthiseye。Theboy，trailingonbehindwiththebasketsandladenwithtindippersandwildflowers，seemedanothercreaturefromthebig—eyed，quietlittleladhesaweveryday。Hehadchatteredlikeamagpie，eatenlikeabear，istornhisjacketgettingwildcolumbinesforPatty，beennicelydarnedbyWaitstill，andwasinastateofhilaritythatrenderedhimquiteunrecognizable。

"We’vehadalovelypicnic！"calledPatty；"Iwishyouhadbeenwithus！"

"Youdidn’taskme！"smiledIvory，pickingupWaitstill’smending—basketfromthenookinthetreeswhereshehadhiddenitforsafe—keeping。

"We’veplayedgames，Ivory，"criedtheboy。’Pattymadethemupherself。Firstwehadthe’LandingofthePilgrims，’andWaitstillmadebelievebethefigureheadoftheMayflower。Shestoodonagreatboulderandsang：——

’ThebreakingwavesdashedhighOnasternandrock—boundcoast’——

and，oh！shewassplendid！ThenPattywasPocahontasandIwasCap’nJohnSmith，andlook，wearealldressedupfortheIndianwedding！"

Waitstillhadonacrownofwhitebirchbarkandherbraidofhair，twinedwithrunningever—green，felltoherwaist。Pattywaswreathedwithcolumbinesanddeckedwithsometurkeyfeathersthatshehadputinherbasketastooprettytothrowaway。

Waitstilllookedratherconsciousinherunusualfinery，butPattysporteditwiththerecklesseaseandinnocentvanitythatcharacterizedher。

"Ishallhavetorunintofather’sstoretoputmyselftidy，"

Waitstillsaid，"sogood—bye，Rodman，we’llhaveanotherpicnicsomeday。Patty，youmustdothechoresthisafternoon，youknow，sothatIcangotochoirrehearsal，"

RodmanandPattystartedupthehillgaylywiththeirburdens，andIvorywalkedbyWaitstill’ssideasshepulledoffherbirch—barkcrownandtwistedherbraidaroundherheadwithaheightenedcoloratbeingwatched。

"I’11saygood—byenow，Ivory，butI’11seeyouatthemeeting—house，"shesaid，asshenearedthestore。"I’llgoinhereandbrushthepineneedlesoff，washmyhands，andrestalittlebeforerehearsal。That’sapuzzlinganthemwehaveforto—morrow。"

"Ihavemyhorsehere；letmedriveyouuptothechurch。"

"Ican’t，Ivory，thankyou。Father’sordersareagainstmydrivingoutwithanyone，youknow。"

"Verywell，theroadisfree，atanyrate。I’llhitchmyhorsedownhereinthewoodssomewhereandwhenyoustarttowalkI

shallfollowandcatchupwithyou。There’sluckilyonlyonewaytoreachthechurchfromhere，andyourfathercan’tblameusifwebothtakeit！"

AndsoitfelloutthatIvoryandWaitstillwalkedtogetherinthecooloftheafternoontothemeeting—houseonToryHill。

WaitstillkeptthebeatenpathononesideandIvorythatontheother，sothatthewidthofthecountryroad，deepindust，wasbetweenthem，yettheirnearnessseemedsotangibleathingthateachcouldfeeltheheartbeatingintheother’sside。

Theirtalkwasonlythatoftriedfriends，atalkinterruptedbylongbeautifulsilences；silencesthatcomeonlytoamanandwomanwhoseunderstandingofeachotherisbeyondquestionandanswer。Notasoundbrokethestillness，yettheveryair，itseemedtothem，wassheddingmeanings：theflowerswereexhalingalovesecretwiththeirfragrances，thebirdsweresingingitboldlyfromthetree—tops，yetnowordpassedtheman’slipsorthegirl’s。PattywouldhavehungoutallsortsofsignalsandlurestodrawthetruthfromIvoryandbreakthroughthewallsofhisself—control，butWaitstill，never；andIvoryBoyntonwasmadeofstuffsostrongthathewouldnotspeakasyllableoflovetoawomanunlesshecouldsayall。Hewasonlyfive—and—twenty，buthehadbeenrearedinarigorousschool，andhadlearnedinitspoverty，loneliness，andanxietylessonsofself—denialandself—controlthatboredailyfruitnow。HeknewthatDeaconBaxterwouldneverallowanyengagementtoexistbetweenWaitstillandhimself；healsoknewthatWaitstillwouldneverdefyanddisobeyherfatherifitmeantleavingheryoungersistertofightaloneadrearybattleforwhichshewasnotfitted。Iftherewaslittlehopeonhersidethereseemedevenlessonhis。Hismother’smentalillnessmadeherpeculiarlydependentuponhim，andatthesametimeheldhiminsuchstrictbondagethatitwasalmostimpossibleforhimtogetonintheworldoreventogiveherthecomfortssheneeded。InvillageslikeRiverborointhoseearlydaystherewasnoputtingaway，evenofmenorwomensodementedastobesomethingofamenacetothepeaceofthehousehold；butLoisBoyntonwassogentle，sofragile，soexquisiteaspirit，thatsheseemedinhersadaloofnesssimplyathingtobeshelteredandshieldedsomehowinherdifficultlifejourney。Ivoryoftenthoughthowsorelysheneededadaughterinheraffliction。Ifthebabysisterhadonlylived，thehomemighthavebeendifferent；butalas！therewasonlyason，——asonwhotriedtobetenderandsympathetic，butafterallwasnothingbutabig，clumsy，uncomprehendingman—creature，whooughttobefellingtrees，ploughing，sowing，reaping，oratleaststudyinglaw，makinghisownfortuneandthatofsomefuturewife。OldMrs。Mason，agarrulous，good—heartedgrandame，wastheironlynearneighbor，andhervisitsalwayslefthismotherworseratherthanbetter。HowsuchagirlasWaitstillwouldpourcomfortandbeautyandjoyintoalonelyhouselikehis，ifonlyhewereweakenoughtocalluponherstrengthandputittosocruelatest。Godhelphim，hewouldneverdothat，especiallyashecouldnotearnenoughtokeepalargerfamily，bounddownashewasbyinexorableresponsibilities。Waitstill，thusfarinlife，hadsufferedmanysorrowsandenjoyedfewpleasures；marriageoughttobringherfreedomandplenty，notcarkingcareandpoverty。Hestolelonglooksatthegirlacrosstheseparatingspacethatwassohelplesstoseparate，——feedinghisstarvedheartuponherwomanlygraces。Herquick，springingstepwasinharmonywiththefireandcourageofhermien。Therewasalineortwoinherface，——smallwonder；butan"unconquerablesoul"shoneinhereyes；shone，too，innouncertainway，butbrightlyandsteadily，expressinganunshakenjoyinliving。Valiant，splendid，indomitableWaitstill！Hecouldnevertellher，alas！buthowhegloriedinher！

ItisneedlesstosaythatnowomancouldbethepossessorofsuchaloveasIvoryBoynton’sandnotknowofitsexistence。

WaitstillneverheardabreathofitfromIvory’slips；evenhiseyeswereundercontrolandconfessednothing；nordidhishandeverclasphers，toshowbyatell—taletouchthetruthhedarednotutter；neverthelessshefeltthatshewasbeloved。Shehidtheknowledgedeepinherheartandcovereditsoftlyfromeveryeyebutherown；takingitoutinthesafedarknesssometimestowonderoverandadoreinsecret。DidherloveforIvoryrestpartlyonasenseofvocation？——aprofound，inarticulatediviningofhisvastneedofher？Hewassostrong，yetsoweakbecauseoftheyokehebore，sobitterlyaloneinhisdesperatestrugglewithlife，thatherheartmeltedlikewaxwhenevershethoughtofhim。Whenshecontemplatedthehiddenmutinyinherownheart，shewasawestrucksometimesatthealmostdivinepatienceofIvory’sconductasason。

"Howisyourmotherthissummer，Ivory？"sheaskedastheysatdownonthemeeting—housestepswaitingforJedMorrilltoopenthedoor。

"Thereislittlechangeinherfromyeartoyear，Waitstill。——Bytheway，whydon’twegetoutofthisafternoonsunandsitintheoldgraveyardunderthetrees？Weareearlyandthechoirwon’tgethereforhalfanhour。——Dr。Perrysaysthathedoesnotunderstandmother’scaseintheleast，andthatnoonebutsomegreatBostonphysiciancouldgiveaproperopiniononit；ofcourse，thatisimpossibleatpresent。"

TheysatdownonthegrassunderneathoneoftheelmsandWaitstilltookoffherhatandleanedbackagainstthetree—trunk。

"Tellmemore，"shesaid；"itissolongsincewetalkedtogetherquietlyandwehaveneverreallyspokenofyourmother。"

"Ofcourse，"Ivorycontinued，"thepeopleofthevillageallthinkandspeakofmother’sillnessasreligiousinsanity，buttomeitseemsnothingofthesort。IwasonlyachildwhenfatherfirstfellillwithJacobCochrane，butIwastwelvewhenfatherwentawayfromhomeonhis’mission，’andiftherewasanyonesufferingfromdelusionsinourfamilyitwashe，notmother。ShehadaltogethergivenupgoingtotheCochranemeetings，andI

wellrememberthescenewhenmyfathertoldheroftherevelationhehadreceivedaboutgoingthroughthestateandintoNewHampshireinordertoconvertothersandextendthemovement。Shehadnosympathywithhisself—imposedmission，youmaybesure，thoughnowshegoesbackinhermemorytotheearlierdaysofhermarriedlife，whenshetriedhard，poorsoul，totreadthesamepaththatfatherwastreading，soastobebyhissideateveryturnoftheroad。

"Iamsure"（hereIvory’stonewassomewhatdryandsatirical）

"thatfather’sroadhadmanyturns，Waitstill！HewasaschoolmasterinSaco，youknow，whenIwasbornbuthesoonturnedfromteachingtopreaching，andheremymotherfollowedwithentiresympathy，forshewasintensely，devoutlyreligious。

Isaidtherewaslittlechangeinher，butthereisonenewsymptom。ShehasceasedtorefertoherconversiontoCochranismasablessedexperience。Hermemoryofthosefirstdaysseemstohavefaded，Astohersister’sdeathandallthecircumstancesofherbringingRodmanhome，hermindisablank。Herexpectationoffather’sreturn，ontheotherhand，ismuchmoreintensethanever。"

"Shemusthavelovedyourfatherdearly，Ivory，andtolosehiminthisterriblewayismuchworsethandeath。UncleBartsayshehadagreatgiftoflanguage！"

"Yes，anditwasthat，inmymind，thatledhimastray。IfearthattheSpiritofGodwasneversostronginfatherasthedesiretoinfluencepeoplebyhisoratory。Thatwaswhatdrewhimtopreachinginthefirstplace，andwhenhefoundin，JacobCochraneamanwhocouldmoveanaudiencetofrenzy，liftthemoutofthebody，anddowiththeirspiritsashewilled，heacknowledgedhimasmaster。WhetherhisgospelwasapureandundefiledreligionIdoubt，buthecertainlywasamasterofmesmericcontrol。Mymotherwasbeguiled，entranced，evenbewitchedatfirst，Idoubtnot，forshetranslatedallthatCochranesaidintoherownspeech，andregardedhimastheprophetofanewera。ButCochrane’slast’revelations’differedfromthefirst，andwereoftheearth，earthy。Mymother’spuresoulmusthaverevolted，butshewasnotstrongenoughtodragfatherfromhisallegiance。Motherwasofbetterfamilythanfather，buttheywerebothwelleducatedandhadthebestschoolingtobehadintheirday。SofarasIcanjudge，motheralwayshadmore’balance’thanfather，andmuchbetterjudgment，——yetlookathernow！"

"Thenyouthinkitwasyourfather’sdisappearancethatreallycausedhermindtowaver？"askedWaitstill。

"Ido，indeed。Idon’tknowwhathappenedbetweentheminthewayofreligiousdifferences，norhowmuchunhappinessthesemayhavecaused。IremembershehadanillnesswhenwefirstcameheretoliveandIwasalittlechapofthreeorfour，butthatwascausedbythelossofachild，agirl，wholivedonlyafewweeks。Sherecoveredperfectly，andherheadwasasclearasmineforayearortwoafterfatherwentaway。Ashislettersgrewlessfrequent，asnewsofhimgraduallyceasedtocome，shebecamemoreandmoresilent，andretiredmorecompletelyintoherself。Sheneverwentanywhere，norentertainedvisitors，becauseshedidnotwishtohearthegossipandspeculationthatweregoingoninthevillage。Someofitwasveryhardforawifetobear，andsheresenteditindignantly；yetneverreceivedawordfromfatherwithwhichtorefuteit。Atthistime，asnearlyasIcanjudge，shewasarecluse，andsubjecttoperiodsofprofoundmelancholy，butnothingworse。Thenshetookthatwinterjourneytohersister’sdeathbed，broughthometheboy，and，hastenedbyexposureandchillandgrief，Isuppose，hermindgaveway，——that’sall！"AndIvorysigheddrearilyashestretchedhimselfonthegreensward，andlookedofftowardsthesnow—cladNewHampshirehills。"I’vemeanttowritethestoryofthe’Cochranecraze’sometime，orsuchpartofitashastodowithmyfamilyhistory，andyoushallreaditifyoulike。Ishouldsetdownmychild—hoodandmyboyhoodmemories，togetherwithsuchscrapsofvillagehearsayasseemreliable。YouwerenotsomuchyoungerthanI，butIwasinthethickoftheexcitement，andnaturallyIheardmorethanyou，havingsobitterareasonforbeinginterested。JacobCochranehasaltogetherdisappearedfrompublicview，butthere’smanyafamilyinMaineandNewHampshire，yes，andinthefarWest，thatwillfeelhisinfluenceforyearstocome。"

"Ishouldlikeverymuchtoreadyouraccount。AuntAbby’sversion，forinstance，issodifferentfromUncleBart’sthatonecanscarcelyfindthetruthbetweenthetwo；andfather’sbearsnorelationtothatofanyoftheothers。"

"Someofusseefactsandothersseevisions，repliedIvory，"andthesedifferencesofopinioncropupinthevillageeverydaywhenanythingnoteworthyisdiscussed。Icameuponaquotationinmyreadinglasteveningthatdescribedit：

’Onesaiditthundered……anotherthatanangelspake’"

"Doyoufeelasifyourfatherwasdead，Ivory？"

"Icanonlyhopeso！Thatthoughtbringssadnesswithit，asoneremembershisdisappointmentandfailure，butifheisaliveheisatraitor。"

TherewasalongpauseandtheycouldseeinthedistanceHumphreyBarkerwithhisclarionetandPlinyWaterhousewithhisbassvioldrivinguptothechurchyardfencetohitchtheirhorses。ThesunwasdippinglowandredbehindtheTown—HouseHillontheothersideoftheriver。

"Whatmakesmyfatherdisliketheverymentionofyours？"askedWaitstill。"Iknowwhattheysay：thatitisbecausethetwomenhadhighwordsonceinaCochranemeeting，whenfathertriedtointerferewithsomeoftheexercisesandwasputoutofdoors。Itdoesn’tseemasifthatgrievance，seventeenoreighteenyearsago，wouldinfluencehisopinionofyourmother，orofyou。"

"Itisn’tlikelythatamanofyourfather’ssortwouldforgetorforgivewhatheconsideredaninjury；andinrefusingtohaveanythingtodowiththesonofadisgracedmanandaderangedwoman，heiswellwithinhisrights。"

Ivory’scheeksburnedredunderthetan，andhishandtrembledalittleashepluckedbitsofcloverfromthegrassandpulledthemtopiecesabsent—mindedly。"Howareyougettingonathomethesedays，Waitstill？"heasked，asiftoturnhisownmindandhersfromatoopainfulsubject。

"Youhavetroublesenoughofyourownwithouthearingmine，Ivory，andanywaytheyarenotbigafflictions，heavysorrows，likethoseyouhavetobear。Minearejustpetty，nagging，sordid，cheaplittlemiseries，likegnat—bites；——sopettyandsosordidthatIcanhardlytalktoGodaboutthem，muchlesstoahumanfriend。PattyismyonlyoutletandIneedothers，yetI

finditalmostimpossibletoescapefromthenarrownessofmylifeandbeofusetoanyoneelse。"Thegirl’svoicequiveredandasingletear—droponhercheekshowedthatshewasspeakingfromafullheart。"Thisafternoon’stalkhasdeterminedmeinonething，"shewenton。"Iamgoingtoseeyourmothernowandthen。Ishallhavetodoitsecretly，foryoursake，forhers，andformyown，butifIamfoundout，thenIwillgoopenly。

Theremustbetimeswhenonecanbreakthelowerlaw，andyetkeepthehigher。Father’slaw，inthiscase，isthelower，andI

proposetobreakit。"

"Ican’thaveyougettingintotrouble，Waitstill，"Ivoryobjected。"You’retheonewomanIcanthinkofwhomighthelpmymother；allthesame，Iwouldnotmakeyourlifeharder；notforworlds！"

"Itwillnotbeharder，andevenifitwasIshould’countitalljoy’tohelpawomanbearsuchsorrowasyourmotherendurespatientlydayafterday"；andWaitstillrosetoherfeetandtiedonherhatasonewhohadmadeuphermind。

ItwasalmostimpossibleforIvorytoholdhispeacethen，sofullofgratitudewashissoulandsogreathislongingtopouroutthefeelingthatfloodedit。Hepulledhimselftogetherandledthewayoutofthechurchyard。TolookatWaitstillagainwouldbetolosehishead，buttohistroubledhearttherecameafloodoflight，agloryfromthatlampthatawomanmayholdupforaman；aglorythatnonecantakefromhim，andnonecandarken；alightbywhichhemaywalkandliveanddie。

XI

AJUNESUNDAY

ITwasaSundayinJune，andalmostthewholepopulationofRiverboroandEdgewoodwaswalkingordrivinginthedirectionofthemeeting—houseonToryHill。

Churchtoilettes，youmaywellbelieve，weredifficultofattainmentbyDeaconBaxter’sdaughters，astheyhadbeenbyhisrespectivehelpmatesinyearsgoneby。WhenWaitstill’smotherfirstaskedherhusbandtobuyheranewdress，andthatwastwoyearsaftermarriage，hesimplysaid："Youlookwellenough；whatdoyouwanttowastemoneyonfineryfor，thesehardtimes？Ifotherfolksareextravagant，thatain’tanyreasonyoushouldbe。

Youain’tobligedtotakeyourneighborsforanexample：——take’emforawarnin’！"

"But，Foxwell，mySundaydressisworncompletelytothreads，"

urgedthesecondMrs。Baxter。

"That’swhatwomenalwayssay；they’reallalike；nomoreideao’

savin’anythingthanaskunk—blackbird！Ican’tspareanymoneyforgew—gaws，andyoumightaswellunderstanditfirstaslast。Goupatticandopenthehairtrunkbythewinder；you’llfindplentytheretolastyouforyearstocome。"

ThesecondMrs。Baxtervisitedtheatticascommanded，andinturningovertheclothesintheoldtrunk，knewbyinstinctthattheyhadbelongedtoherpredecessorinoffice。Someofthedresseswereneat，thoughterriblywornandfaded，butallwerefortunatelyfartooshortandsmallforapersonofherfineproportions。Besides，herverysoulshrankfromwearingthem，andherspiritrevoltedbothfromtheinsulttoherselfandtothepoordeadwomanshehadsucceeded，soshecamedownstairstodarnandmendandpatchagainhershabbywardrobe。

Waitstillhadgonethroughthesameashermotherbeforeher，butindespair，whenshewasseventeen，shebegantocutovertheoldgarmentsforherselfandPatty。Mercifullytherewereveryfewofthem，andtheyhadlongsincebeendiscarded。Ateighteenshehadlearnedtodyeyarnswithyellowoakormaplebarkandtomakepurplesfromelderandsumacberries；shecouldspinandknitaswellasanyold"Aunt"ofthevillage，andcutandshapeagarmentasdeftlyastheEdgewoodtailoress，butthetaskofmakingbrickswithoutstrawwasahardone，indeed。

SheworeawhitecottonfrockonthisparticularSunday。Itwasstarchedandironedwithabeautifulgloss，whileatouchofdistinctionwasgiventohercostumebyalittleblacksleeveless"roundabout"madeoutofthecoveringofanoldsilkumbrella。

Herflathathadasinglewreathofcoarsedaisiesaroundthecrown，andhermittsweredarnedinmanyplaces，neverthelessyoucouldnotentirelyspoilher；Godhadusedaliberalhandinmakingher，andherfather’sparsimonywasasortofboomerangthatflewbackchieflyuponhimself。

AsforPatty，herstyleofbeauty，likeCephasCole’sellhadtobetoneddownratherthanup，tobeeffective，butcircumstanceshadbeencruellyunrelentinginthisprocessoflate。DeaconBaxterhadgiventhegirlsthreeorfourshopwornpiecesoffadedyellowcalicothathadbeenrepudiatedbythevillagehousewivesasnot"fast"enoughincolortobearthetestofproperwashing。

Thishadmadefrocks，aprons，petticoats，andevenunderclothes，fortwofullyears，andPatty’sweeklyobjurgationswhensheremovedhereverlastingyellowdressfromthenailwhereithungwerenotsuchasshouldhavefallenfromthelipsofadeacon’sdaughter。Waitstillhadtakenapieceofthesameyellowmaterial，starchedandironedit，cutacurving，circularbrimfromit，sewedinapleatedcrown，andlo！ahatforPatty！WhatinspiredPattytoputonawaistribbonofdeepestwinecolor，withalittlebandofthesameonthepaleyellowhat，noonecouldsay。

"Doyouthinkyoushalllikethatdullredrightclosetotheyellow，Patty？"Waitstillaskedanxiously。