第16章

Myeyeshadbeenmeetingherswithout，asitwere，hersquitemeetingmine。Butatthistherehadtobeintercourse。"Bymyhusband。"

ItpulledMEupatrifle。"Brissendenknows？"

Shehesitated；then，asifatmytone，gavealaugh。"Don’tyousupposeI’vetoldhim？"

Ireallycouldn’tbutadmireher。"Ah——soyouHAVEtalked！"

Itdidn’tconfoundher。"One’shusbandisn’ttalk。You’recruelmoreover，"

shecontinued，"tomyjoke。ItwasBriss，poordear，whotalked——though，Imean，onlytome。HEknows。"

Icastabout。"Sincewhen？"

Butshehaditready。"Sincethisevening。"

OncemoreIcouldn’tbutsmile。"Justintimethen！AndtheWAYheknows——？"

"Oh，theway！"——shehadatthisaslightdrop。Butshecameupagain。

"Itakehisword。"

"Youhaven’tthenaskedhim？"

"Thebeautyofitwas——halfanhourago，upstairs——thatIHADN’Ttoask。Hecameoutwithithimself，andTHAT——togiveyouthewholething——was，ifyoulike，mymoment。Hedroppeditonme，"shecontinuedtoexplain，"withoutintheleast，sweetinnocent，knowingwhathewasdoing；more，atleast，thatis，thangiveheraway。"

"Which，"Iconcurred，"wascomparativelynothing！"

Butshehadnoearforirony，andshemadeoutstillmoreofherstory。

"He’ssimple——buthesees。"

"Andwhenhesees"——Icompletedthepicture——"heluckilytells。"

Shequiteagreedwithmethatitwaslucky，butwithoutprejudicetohisacutenessandtowhathadbeeninhimmoreoveranaturalrevulsion。

"Hehasseen，inshort；therecomessomechancewhenonedoes。His，asluckilyasyouplease，camethisevening。IfyouaskmewhatitshowedhimyouaskmorethanI’VEeithercaredorhadtimetoask。Doyouconsider，forthatmatter"——sheputittome——"thatonedoesask？"Asherhighsmoothness——suchwasthewonderofthisreascendancy——almostdeprivedmeofmymeans，shewaswiseandgentlewithme。"Letusleaveitalone。"

Ifairly，whilemylookatherturnedrueful，scratchedmyhead。"Don’tyouthinkitalittlelateforthat？"

"Lateforeverything！"sheimpatientlysaid。"Butthereyouare。"

Ifixedthefloor。ThereindeedIwas。ButItriedtostaythere——justthereonly——asshortatimeaspossible。Something，moreover，afterall，caughtmeup。"ButifBrissendenalreadyknew——？"

"Ifheknew？"Shestillgaveme，withoutprejudicetoheringenuity——andindeeditwasapartofthis——alltheworkshecould。

"Why，thatLongandLadyJohnwerethick？"

"Ah，then，"shecried，"youadmittheyARE！"

"AmInotadmittingeverythingyoutellme？ButthemoreIadmit，"I

explained，"themoreImustunderstand。It’sTOadmit，yousee，thatI

inquire。IfBrisscamedownwithLadyJohnyesterdaytoobligeMr。Long——"

"Hedidn’tcome，"sheinterrupted，"toobligeMr。Long！"

"Well，then，toobligeLadyJohnherself——"

"Hedidn’tcometoobligeLadyJohnherself！"

"Well，then，toobligehiscleverwife——"

"Hedidn’tcometoobligehiscleverwife！Hecame，"saidMrs。Briss，"justtoamusehimself。HeHAShisamusements，andit’sodd，"sheremarkablylaughed，"thatyoushouldgrudgethemtohim！"

"ItwouldbeoddindeedifIdid！Butputhisproceeding，"Icontinued，"onanygroundyoulike；youdescribedtomethepurposeofitasascreeningofthepair。"

"Idescribedtoyouthepurposeofitasnothingofthesort。Ididn’tdescribetoyouthepurposeofit，"saidMrs。Briss，"atall。Idescribedtoyou，"shetriumphantlysetforth，"theEFFECTofit——whichisaverydifferentthing。"

Icouldonlymeetherwithadmiration。"You’reofanastuteness——！"

"OfcourseI’mofanastuteness！ISEEeffects。AndIsawthatone。

HowmuchBrisshimselfhadseenitis，asI’vetoldyou，anothermatter；

andwhathehad，atanyrate，quitetakentheaffairforwasthesortofflirtationinwhich，ifoneisafriendtoeitherparty，andone’sownfeelingsarenotatstake，onemaynowandthengivepeoplealift。Haven’tIaskedyoubefore，"shedemanded，"ifyousupposehewouldhavegivenonehadhehadanideawherethesepeopleARE？"

"Iscarceknowwhatyouhaveaskedmebefore！"Isighed；"and’wheretheyare’isjustwhatyouhaven’ttoldme。"

"It’swheremyhusbandwassoannoyedunmistakablytodiscoverthem。"

Andasifshehadquitefixedthepointshepassedtoanother。"He’speculiar，dearoldBriss，butinawaybywhich，ifoneuseshim——bywhich，Imean，ifonedependsonhim——atall，onegains，Ithink，morethanoneloses。

Uptoacertainpoint，inanycasethat’stheleastacaseforsubtlety，heseesnothingatall；butbeyondit——whenoncehedoeswakeup——he’llgothroughahouse。Nothingthenescapeshim，andwhathedragstolightissometimesappalling。"

"Rather，"Ithoughtfullyresponded——"sincewitnessthisoccasion！"

"Butisn’ttheinterestofthisoccasion，asI’vealreadysuggested，"

shepropounded，"simplythatitmakesanend，burstsabubble，ridsusofanincubusandpermitsustogotobedinpeace？IthankGod，"shemoralised，"fordearoldBrissto—night。"

"SodoI，"Iafteramomentreturned；"butIshalldosowithstillgreaterfervourifyou’llhaveforthespaceofanotherquestionastillgreaterpatience。"Withwhich，asafinalmovementfromherseemedtosayhowmuchthiswastoask，IhadonmyownsideacertainexasperationofsorenessforallIhadtoacknowledge——evenwereitmereacknowledgment——thatshehadbroughtrattlingdown。"Remember，"Ipleaded，"thatyou’recostingmeaperfectpalaceofthought！"

Icouldseetoothat，heldunexpectedlybysomethinginmytone，shereallytookitin。Couldn’tIevenalmostseethat，foranoddinstant，sheregrettedtheblightedpleasureofthepursuitoftruthwithme？I

needed，atallevents，nobetterproofeitherofthesweetorofthebitterinhercomprehensionthantheaccentwithwhichshereplied："Oh，thosewholiveinglasshouses——"

"Shouldn’t——no，Iknowtheyshouldn’t——throwstones；andthat’spreciselywhyIdon’t。"Ihadtakenherimmediatelyup，andIheldherbyitandbysomethingbetterstill。"You，fromyourfortressofgranite，canchuckthemaboutasyouwill！Allthemorereason，however，"Iquicklyadded，"that，beforemyfrail，but，asImaintain，quitesublimestructure，youhonourme，forafewseconds，withanintelligentlookatit。Iseemmyselftoseeitagain，perfectineverypart，"Ipursued，"evenwhileIthusspeaktoyou，andtofeelafreshthat，weren’tthewretchedaccidentofitsweakfoundation，itwouldn’thavetheshadowofaflaw。I’vespokenofitinmyconceivableregret，"Iconceded，"asalreadyamereheapofdisfiguredfragments；butthatwastheextravaganceofmyvexation，mydespair。It’sinpointoffactsobeautifullyfittedthatitcomesapartpiecebypiece——which，sofarasthatgoes，you’veseenitdointhelastquarterofanhouratyourowntouch，quitehandingmethepieces，onebyone，yourselfandwatchingmestackthemalongtheground。They’renoteveninthisstate——see！"Iwoundup——"apileofruins！"Iwoundup，asIsay，butonlyforlongenoughtohave，withthevibration，theexaltation，ofmyeloquence，mysmalltriumphasagainsthergreatone。"Ishouldalmostlike，piecebypiece，tohandthembacktoyou。"AndthistimeIcompletedmyfigure。"Ibelievethat，fortheverycharmofit，you’dfindyourselfplacingthembyyourownsenseintheirorderandrearingoncemorethesplendidpile。WillyoutakejustONEofthemfrommeagain，"Iinsisted，"andletmeseeifonlytohaveitinyourhandsdoesn’tpositivelystartyouoff？That’swhatImeantjustnowbyaskingyouforanotheranswer。"

Shehadremainedsilent，asifreallyinthepresenceoftherisingmagnificenceofmymetaphor，anditwasnottoolatefortheonechanceleftme。"Therewasnothing，youknow，IhadsofittedasyouraccountofpoorMrs。Serverwhen，onourseeingthem，fromtheterrace，togetherbelow，youstruckoffyourexplanationthatoldBrisswasHERscreenforLong。"

"Fitted？"——andtherewassincerityinhersurprise。"Ithoughtmystupidideatheoneforwhichyouhadexactlynouse！"

"Ihadnouse，"Iinstantlyconcurred，"foryourstupididea，butI

hadgreatuseforyourstupidly，alas！havingit。THATfittedbeautifully，"

Ismiled，"tillthepiececameout。Andevennow，"Iadded，"Idon’tfeelitquiteaccountedfor。"

"Theirbeingtheretogether？"

"No。Yournotlikingitthattheywere。"

Shestared。"Notlikingit？"

Icouldseehowlittleindeedshemindednow，butIalsokeptthethreadofmyownintellectualhistory。"Yes。YournotlikingitiswhatIspeakofasthepiece。Iholdit，yousee，upbeforeyou。What，artistically，wouldyoudowithit？"

Butonemighttakeahorsetowater——！Ihelditupbeforeher，butIcouldn’tmakeherlookatit。"HowdoyouknowwhatImayn’t，ormay，haveliked？"

Itdidbringmeto。"Becauseyouwereconsciousofnottellingme？Well，evenifyoudidn’t——！"

"Thatmadenodifference，"sheinquiredwithagenerousderision，"becauseyoucouldalwaysimagine？Ofcourseyoucouldalwaysimagine——whichispreciselywhatisthematterwithyou！ButI’msurprisedatyourcomingtomewithitoncemoreasevidenceofanything。"

Istoodrebuked，andevenmoresothanIshowedher，forsheneed，obviously，onlydeclinetotakeoneofmycounterstodepriveitofallvalueascoin。

WhenshepusheditacrossIhadbuttopocketitagain。"ItIStheweaknessofmycase，"IfeeblyandIdaresayawkwardlymusedather，"thatanyparticularthingyoudon’tgrantmebecomesstraightwaythestrengthofyours。Ofcourse，however"——andIgavemyselfashake——"I’mabsolutelyrejoicing（amInot？）inthestrengthofyours。Theweaknessofmyowniswhat，underyourinstruction，I’mnowgoinginto；butdon’tyouseehowmuchweakeritwillshowifIdrawfromyouthefullexpressionofyourindifference？

HowCOULDyouinfactcarewhenwhatyouwereattheverymomenturgingonmesohardwastheextravaganceofMrs。Server’sconduct？Thatextravagancethenprovedher，toyoureyes，thewomanwhohadaconnectionwithLongtokeeptheworldoffthescentof——thoughyoumaintainedthatinspiteofthedustshekickedupbyitshewas，atapinch，nowandthentobecaughtwithhim。ThatinsteadofbeingcaughtwithhimshewascaughtonlywithBrissendenannoyedyounaturallyforthemoment；butwhatwasthatannoyancecomparedtoyourappreciationofhershowing——byundertakingyourhusband，ofallpeople！——justthemoremarkedlyASextravagant？"

Shehadbeensufficientlyinterestedthistimetofollowme。"Whatwasitindeed？"

Igreetedheracquiescence，butIinsisted。"Andyetifsheisextravagant——whatdoyoudowithit？"

"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit！"sheexclaimed。

Isoughttocombinefirmnesswithmymildness。"Whatdoyoudowithit？"

Butshecouldmatchmeatthis。"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit！"

"It’snotaquestionofmydispositions。It’saquestionofherhavingbeen，ornotbeen，foryou’allovertheplace，’andofeveryone’salsobeing，foryou，onthechatteraboutit。YougobythatinrespecttoLong——byyourholding，thatis，thatnothinghasbeennoticed；thereforemustn’tyougobyitinrespecttoHER——sinceIunderstandfromyouthateverythinghas？"

"Everythingalwaysis，"Mrs。Brissagreeablyreplied，"inaplaceandapartylikethis；butsolittle——anythinginparticular——that，withpeoplemoving’everywhich’way，itcomestothesameasifnothingwas。Thingsarenot，also，gougedouttoYOURtune，anditdepends，stillfurther，onwhatyoumeanby’extravagant。"’

"Imeanwhateveryouyourselfmeant。"

"Well，Imyselfmeannolonger，youknow，whatIdidmean。"

"Sheisn’tthen——？"

Butsuddenlyshewasalmostsharpwithme。"Isn’twhat？"

"Whatthewomanwesoearnestlylookedforwouldhavetobe。"

"Allgone？"Shehadhesitated，butshewentonwithdecision。"No，sheisn’tallgone，sincetherewasenoughofherlefttomakeuptopoorBriss。"

"Precisely——andit’sjustwhatwesaw，andjustwhat，withherotherdashesofthesamesort，ledustohavetofacethequestionofherbeing——well，whatIsay。Orrather，"Iadded，"whatYOUsay。Thatis，"Iamended，tokeepperfectlystraight，"whatyousayyouDON’Tsay。"

Itookindeedtoomanyprecautionsformyfriendnottohavetolookatthem。"Extravagant？"Theirritationofthewordhadgrownforher，yetIriskedrepeatingit，andwiththeeffectofitsgivingheranotherpause。

"ItellyousheISN’Tthat！"

"Exactly；andit’sonlytoaskyouwhatintheworldthensheIS。"

"She’shorrid！"saidMrs。Briss。

"’Horrid’？"Igloomilyechoed。

"Horrid。Itwasn’t，"shethendevelopedwithdecision，"a’dash，’asyousay，’ofthesamesort’——thoughgoodnessknowsofwhatsortyoumean：

itwasn’t，tobeplain，a’dash’atall。"MycompanionWASplain。"Shesettled。Shestuck。"Andfinally，asIcouldbutechoheragain："Shemadelovetohim。"

"But——a——really？"

"Really。That’showIknew。"

Iwasatsea。"’Knew’？Butyousaw。"

"Iknew——thatisIlearnt——morethanIsaw。Iknewshecouldn’tbegone。"

Itinfactbroughtlight。"KnewitbyHIM？"

"Hetoldme，"saidMrs。Briss。

Itbroughtlight，butitbroughtalso，Ifear，forme，anotherqueergrimace。"Doeshethenregularlytell？"

"Regularly。Butwhathetells，"shedidherselfthejusticetodeclare，"isnotalwayssomuchtothepointasthetwothingsI’verepeatedtoyou。"

TheirweightthensuggestedthatIshouldhavethemoveragain。"Hisrevelation，inthefirstplace，ofLongandLadyJohn？"

"Andhisrevelationinthesecond"——shespokeofitasabroadjoke——"ofMayServerandhimself。"

Therewassomethinginherjokethatwasachilltomymind；butIneverthelessplayedup。"Andwhatdoeshesaythat’sfurtherinterestingaboutTHAT？"

"Why，thatshe’sawfullysharp。"

Igasped——sheturneditoutso。"SHE——Mrs。Server？"

Itmadeher，however，equallystare。"Why，isn’tittheverythingyoumaintained？"

Ifeltherdreadfullogic，butIcouldn’t——withmyexquisiteimageallcontrasted，asinaflashfromflint，withthismonstrosity——somuchasentertainherquestion。Icouldonlystupidlyagainsoundit。"Awfullysharp？"

"Youafterallthennowdon’t？"Itwassheherselfwhomthewordsatpresentdescribed！"ThenwhatonearthDOyouthink？"Thestrangemixtureinmyfacenaturallymadeheraskit，buteverything，withinaminute，hadsomehowsogivenwayunderthetouchofhersupremeassurance，thepresentationofherownnowfinishedsystem，thatIdaresayIcouldn’tatthemomenthaveintheleasttrustedmyselftotellher。Sheleftme，however，infact，smalltime——sheonlytookenough，withhernegationsarrayedandherinsolencerecaptured，tojudgemeafresh，whichshedidasshegatheredherselfupintothestrengthoftwenty—five。Ididn’tafterall——itappearedpartofmysmash——knowtheweightofherhusband’syears，butIknewtheweightofmyown。Theymighthavebeenathousand，andnothingbutthesenseofthemwouldinamoment，Isaw，beleftme。"Mypoordear，youAREcrazy，andIbidyougood—night！"

Nothingbutthesenseofthem——onmytakingitfromherwithoutasoundandwatchingher，throughthelightedrooms，retreatanddisappear——WAS

atfirstleftme；butafteraminutesomethingelsecame，andIgrewconsciousthatherverdictlingered。Shehadsohadthelastwordthat，togetoutofitsplantedpresence，Ishookmyself，asIhaddonebefore，frommythought。WhenonceIhadstartedtomyroomindeed——andtopreparationforalivelierstartassoonasthehouseshouldstiragain——Ialmostbreathlesslyhurried。Suchalastword——thewordthatputmealtogethernowhere——wastoounacceptablenottoprescribeafreshthatprompttestofescapetootherairforwhichIhadearlierintheeveningseensomuchreason。I

SHOULDcertainlyneveragain，onthespot，quitehangtogether，eventhoughitwasn’treallythatIhadn’tthreetimeshermethod。WhatItoofatallylackedwashertone。