第9章

Yetifwhenourhostgaveusthesigntoadjourntothedrawing—roomsomuchasallthishadgrownsomuchclearer，Ihadstill，figurativelyspeaking，asmallnutortwolefttocrack。Bythetimewemovedawaytogether，however，theseresistanceshadyielded。Theanswershadreallyonlybeenwaitingforthequestions。TheplayofLong’smindstruckmeasmoremarked，sincethemorning，bythesameamount，asitmighthavebeencalled，asthemarchofpoorBriss’sage；andifIhad，awhilebefore，inthewood，hadmyexplanationofthislatteraddition，soIhaditnowoftheformer——astowhichIshallpresentlygiveit。

Whenmusic，inEnglishsociety，asweknow，isnotanaccompanimenttothevoice，thevoicecaningeneralbecountedontoassertitspleasantidentityasanaccompanimenttomusic；butatNewmarchwehadbeenconsiderablyschooled，andthisevening，intheroominwhichmostofushadassembled，aninterestingpianist，whohadgivenaconcertthenightbeforeatthenearcountytownandbeenbroughtoverduringthedaytodineandsleep，wouldscarcehavefeltinanysensitivefibrethathewasnothavinghiswaywithus。Itmayjustpossiblyhavebeenanhallucinationofmyown，butwhilewesattogetherafterdinnerinadispersedcircleIcouldhaveworkeditoutthat，asacompany，wewereconsiderablyconsciousofsomeexperience，greaterorsmallerfromoneofustotheother，thathadpreparedusfortheplayer’sspell。Felicitouslyscatteredandgrouped，wemightinalmostanycasehavehadtheairoflookingforamessagefromit——ofanimaginationtobeflattered，nervestobequieted，sensibilitiestobesoothed。Thewholescenewasascomposedasiftherewerescarceoneofusbuthadasecretthirstfortheinfinitetobequenched。Anditwastheinfinitethat，forthehour，thedistinguishedforeignerpouredouttous，causingittorollinwonderfulwavesofsound，almostofcolour，overourreceptiveattitudesandfaces。Eachofus，Ithink，nowworetheexpression——orconfessedatleasttothesuggestion——ofsomeindescribablethought；whichmightwell，itwastrue，havebeennothingmoreunmentionablethanthesimplesenseofhowthepostureofdeferencetothisnoblearthasalwaysacertainpersonalgracetocontribute。Weneglectednothingofitthatcouldmakeourgeneraleffectample，andwhetherornowewerekeptquietbythepiano，wewereatleastadmonished，toandfro，byourmutualvisibility，whicheachofusclearlydesiredtomakeasuccess。

Ihavelittledoubt，furthermore，thattoeachofuswasdue，asthecrownofourinimitableday，theimputationofhavingsomethingquiteofourowntothinkover。

Wethought，accordingly——wecontinuedtothink，andIfeltthat，bythelawoftheoccasion，therehadasyetbeenforeveryonenosuchsovereignwarrantforaninterestintheprivateaffairsofeveryoneelse。Asaresultofthisinfluenceallthatatdinnerhadbeguntofadeawayfrommecamebackwitharushandhoveredtherewithavividness。Ifollowedmanytrainsandputtogethermanypieces；butperhapswhatImostdidwastorenderafreshjusticetothemarvelofourcivilisedstate。Theperfectionofthat，enjoyedasweenjoyedit，allmadeamargin，aseriesofconcentriccirclesofrose—colour（shimmeringawayintothepleasantvagueofeverythingelsethatdidn’tmatter，）forthesosalientlittlefigureofMrs。Server，stillthecontrollingimageforme，therealprincipleofcomposition，inthisaffluenceoffinethings。What，formypart，whileIlistened，Imostmadeoutwasthebeautyandtheterrorofconditionssohighlyorganisedthatundertheirrulehersmalllonelyfightwithdisintegrationcouldgoonwithoutthebetrayalofagasporashriek，andwithnoworsetell—talecontortionofliporbrowthanthevibration，onitsgoldenstem，ofthatconstantlyrenewedflowerofamenitywhichmyobservationhadsooftenandsomercilesslydetachedonlytofindagaininitsplace。Thisflowernoddedperceptiblyenoughinourdeeplystirredair，buttherewasapeace，nonetheless，infeelingthespiritofthewearertobetemporarilyatrest。Therewasforthetimenogentlemanonwhomsheneedpounce，nolapseagainstwhichsheneedguard，nopresumptionsheneedcreate，noranysuspicionsheneeddestroy。InthispauseinhercareeritcameovermethatIshouldhavelikedtoleaveher；itwouldhavepreparedformethepleasantafter—consciousnessthatIhadseenherpass，asImightsay，inmusicoutofsight。

Butwewere，alas！alltoomuchthere，toomuchtangledandinvolvedforthat；everyactorintheplaythathadsounexpectedlyinsistedonconstitutingitselfformesatforthaswithanintimationthattheywerenottobesoeasilydisposedof。Itwasasifthereweresomelastacttobeperformedbeforethecurtaincouldfall。Wouldthedefinitedramaticsignalforringingthecurtaindownbethenonly——asagrandclimaxandcoupdetheatre——thedueattestationthatpoorBrisshadsuccumbedtoinexorabletimeandMrs。Servergivenwayunderacerebrallesion？Weretherestofustodispersedecorouslybythesimpleactionofthediscoverythat，onourpianist’sstrikinghislastnote，withitsconsequenceofpermittedchangesofattitude，GilbertLong’svictimhadreachedthepointoffinalsimplificationandGraceBrissenden’sthelimitofagerecordedofman？

Icouldlookatneitherofthesepersonswithoutasharpersenseofthecontrastbetweenthetragedyoftheirpredicamentandthecomedyofthesituationthatdideverythingforthembutsuspectit。Theyhadtrulybeenarrayedandanointed，theyhadtrulybeenisolated，fortheirsacrifice。

Iwassufficientlyawareeventhenthatifonehadn’tknownitonemighthaveseennothing；butIwasnotlessawarethatonecouldn’tknowanythingwithoutseeingall；andsoitwasthat，whileourpianistplayed，mywanderingvisionplayedandplayedaswell。Ittookinagain，whileitwentfromoneofthemtotheother，thedelicatelightthateachhadshedontheother，anditmademewonderafreshwhatstillmoredelicatesupporttheythemselvesmightnotbeintheveryactofderivingfromtheirdimcommunity。

ItwasfortheglimmerofthissupportthatIhadleftthemtogethertwoorthreehoursbefore；yetIwasobligedtorecognisethat，travelbetweenthemasmyfancymight，itcoulddetectnothinginthewayofaconsequentresult。Icaughtnolookfromeitherthatspoketomeofservicerenderedthem；andIcaughtnone，inparticular，fromoneofthemtotheother，thatIcouldreadasasymptomoftheirhavingcomparednotes。Thefellow—feelingofeachforthelostlightoftheotherremainedformebutatiesupposititious——thefull—blownflowerofmytheory。Itwouldshowhereasanotherflower，equallymature，formetohavemadeoutasimilardimcommunitybetweenGilbertLongandMrs。Brissenden——tobeabletofigurethemasgropingsidebyside，proportionately，towardsafellowshipoflightovertaken；butifIfailedofthis，foridealsymmetry，thatseemedtorestonthegeneraltruththatjoybringspeoplelesstogetherthansorrow。

Somuchforthecourseofmyimpressionswhilethemusiclasted——acoursequiteconsistentwithmybeingpreparedfornewcombinationsassoonasitwasover。Promptly，whenthathappened，thebowwasunbent；andthecombinationIfirstseized，amidmotionandmurmurandrustle，wasthat，oncemore，ofpoorBrissandLadyJohn，thelatterofwhomhadalreadyprofitedbythegeneralreactiontoendeavourtocultivateafreshthevainestofhersundryappearances。ShehadlaidonhimthesamecoercivehandtowhichIowedmyhavingfoundhimwithherintheafternoon，butmyinterventionwasnowtooperatewithlessceremony。IchancedtobenearenoughtothemforBrissenden，onseeingme，tofixhiseyesonmeinsilence，butinamannerthatcouldonlybringmeimmediatelynearer。LadyJohnneverdidanythinginsilence，butshegreetedmeasIcameuptothemwithafinefalsealarm。"No，indeed，"shecried，"youshan’tcarryhimoffthistime！"——andpoorBrissdisappeared，leavingusfacetoface，evenwhileshebreatheddefiance。Hehadmadenojokeofit，andIhadfromhimnootherrecognition；

itwasthereforeameretouch，yetitgavemeasensiblehintthathehadbegun，asthingsweregoing，todependuponme，thatIalreadyinafashionfiguredtohim——andonamazinglylittleevidenceafterall——ashisnaturalprotector，hisprovidence，hiseffectiveomniscience。LikeMrs。Serverherself，hewasmateriallyonmyhands，anditwasproperIshould"do"

forhim。Iwonderedifhewerereallybeginningtolooktometoaverthisinexorablefate。Well，ifhisinexorablefatewastobeanunnameableclimax，ithadalsoitsspecialphases，andoneoftheseIHADjustaverted。

IfollowedhimamomentwithmyeyesandIthenobservedtoLadyJohnthatshedecidedlytookmefortoosimpleaperson。Shehadmeanwhilealsowatchedthedirectiontakenbyherliberatedvictim，andwasthenextinstantpreparedwithareplytomycharge。"BecausehehasgonetotalkwithMayServer？

Idon’tquiteseewhatyoumean，forIbelievehimreallytobeinterrorofher。MostofthemenhereARE，youknow，andI’vereallyassuredmyselfthathedoesn’tfindheranylessawfulthantherest。Hefindsherthemoresobyjusttheverymarkedextraattentionthatyoumayhavenoticedshehasgivenhim。"

"Anddoesthatnowhappentobewhathehassoeagerlygoneofftoimpressuponher？"

LadyJohnwassoplacedthatshecouldcontinuetolookatourfriends，andImadeoutinherthatshewasnot，inrespecttothem，withoutsomeslightelementsofperplexity。ThesewereevensufficienttomakehertemporarilyneglectthedefenceofthebreachIhadmadeinherconsistency。"Ifyoumeanby’impressingupon’herspeakingtoher，hehasn’tgone——youcanseeforyourself——toimpressuponheranything；theyhavethemostextraordinaryway，whichI’vealreadyobserved，ofsittingtogetherwithoutsound。I

don’tknow，"shelaughed，"what’sthematterwithsuchpeople！"

"Itprovesingeneral，"Iadmitted，"eithersomecoldnessorsomewarmth，andIquiteunderstandthatthat’snotthewayyousitwithyourfriends。

Yousteeradmirablyclearofeveryextravagance。Idon’tsee，atanyrate，whyMrs。Serverisaterror——"

Butshehadalreadytakenmeup。"Ifshedoesn’tchatterasido？"Shethoughtitover。"Butshedoes——toeveryonebutMr。Briss。Imeantoeverymanshecanpickup。"

Iemulatedherreflection。"Dotheycomplainofittoyou？"

"They’remorecivilthanyou，"shereturned；"forif，whentheyfleebeforeit，theybumpupagainstmeintheirflight，theydon’texplainthatbyintimatingthatthey’recomefrombadtoworse。Besides，Iseewhattheysuffer。"

"Anddoyouhearit？"

"Whattheysuffer？No，I’vetakencarenottosuffermyself。Idon’tlisten。It’snoneofmybusiness。"

"Isthatawayofgentlyexpressing，"Iventuredtoask，"thatit’salsononeofmine？"

"Itmightbe，"shereplied，"ifIhad，asyouappearto，theimaginationofatrocity。ButIdon’tpretendtosomuchasconceivewhat’syourbusiness。"

"Iwonderifitisn’tjustnow，"Isaidafteramoment，"toconvictyouofanattemptatduplicitythathasnotevenhadthesavinggraceofsuccess！WasitforBrissendenhimselfthatyouspokejustnowasifyoubelievedhimtowishtoclingtoyou？"

"Well，I’mkindenoughforanything，"shegood—naturedlyenoughlaughed。

"Butwhat，"sheaskedmoresharply，"areyoutryingtofindout？"

Suchanawfullot，theanswertothiswouldpolitelyhavebeen，thatIdaresaytheaptnessofthequestionproducedinmyfaceashadeofembarrassment。

Ifelt，however，thenextmomentthatIneedn’tfeartoomuch。WhatI，onapproachingLadyJohn，hadfoundmyselfmovedtotest，usingherinitasahappytouchstone，wasthedegreeofthesurrounding，thelatent，senseofthings：animpulseconfirmedbythemannerinwhichshehadmomentarilycircledaboutthephenomenonofMrs。Server’savidity，aboutthemysteryofthetermsmadewithitbyourfriend。ItwaspresenttomethatifI

couldcatch，onthepartofmyinterlocutress，anythingofastraightscent，Imighttakethatasthemeasureofadiffuseddanger。Imentallyappliedthistermtothepossibilityofdiffusion，becauseIsuddenlyfoundmyselfthinkingwithakindofhorrorofanyaccidentbywhichImighthavetoexposetotheworld，todefendagainsttheworld，tosharewiththeworld，thatnowsocomplextangleofhypothesesthatIhavehadforconveniencetospeakofasmytheory。Icouldtosstheballmyself，Icouldcatchitandsenditback，andfamiliarityhadnowmadethisexercise——inmyowninnerprecincts——easyandsafe。ButthemerebrushofLadyJohn’sclumsiercuriositymademetremblefortheimpunityofmycreation。Iftherehadbeen，sotospeak，adiscernment，howeverfeeble，ofmydiscernment，itwouldhavebeenirresistibletometotakethisasthemenaceofsomeincalculablecatastropheorsomepublicugliness。Itwasn’tformedefinitelytoimagethelogicalresultofaverificationbythesenseofothersofthematterofmyvision；butthethinghadonlytohangbeforemeasachanceformetofeelthatIshouldutterlyobjecttoit，thoughImayappeartoweakenthisstatementifIaddthattheopportunitytofixthedegreeofmyactualcompanion’sbetrayedmystificationwasalmostaspell。This，Iconceive，wasjustbyreasonofwhatwasatstake。HowcouldIhappilytellherwhatIwastryingtofindout？——tellher，thatis，nottoomuchforsecurityandyetenoughforrelief？Thebestanswerseemedabravejump。Iwasconsciousofacertaincreditopenwithherinmyappearanceofintellectualsympathy。

"Well，"Ibroughtoutatlast，"I’mquiteachingtoaskyouifyou’llforgivemeagreatliberty，whichIowetoyourcandidchallengemyopportunitytoname。WillyouallowmetosayfranklythatIthinkyouplayadangerousgamewithpoorBriss，inwhomIconfessI’minterested？Idon’tofcoursespeakoftheleastdangertoyourself；butit’saninjusticetoanymantomakeuseofhimquitesoflagrantly。Youdon’tintheleastflatteryourselfthatthepoorfellowisinlovewithyou——youwouldn’tcareabitifhewere。Yetyou’rewillingtomakehimthinkyoulikehim，sofarasthatmaybenecessarytoexplainyoursofrequentlyingeniousappropriationofhim。Hedoesn’tlikeyouTOOmuch，asyet；doesn’tevenlikeyouquiteenough。Butyourpotencymay，afterall，workonhim，andthen，asyourinterestissoobviouslyquiteelsewhere，whatwillhappenwillbethatyou’llfind，toyourinconvenience，thatyou’vegonetoofar。AmanneverlikesawomanenoughunlesshelikesherMOREthanenough。Unfortunatelyit’swhattheinveterateassissuresoonerorlatertodo。"

LadyJohnlookedjustenoughinterestedtolookdetachedfrommostofthemorevulgarliabilitiestooffence。"DoIunderstandthattobetheprettynamebywhichyoudescribeMr。Briss？"

"Hehashisshareofit，forI’mthinkingoftheidiotsthatweeveryoneofusare。Ithrowoutawarningagainstacontingency。"

"Areyouprovidingforthecontingencyofhisceasingtocareforhiswife？Ifyouare"——andLadyJohn’samusementtookonabreadth——"youmaybesaidtohaveaprudentmindandtobetakingtimebytheforelock。"

AtthisIprickedupmyears。"Doyoumeanbecauseofhisapparentlyincorruptibleconstancy？"

"Imeanbecausethewholething’ssobeforeone。Shehashimsoinhandthatthey’reneitheroftheminasmuchdangeraswouldcountforamouse。

Itdoesn’tpreventhislikingtodallybytheway——forSHEdalliesbytheway，andhedoeseverythingshedoes。Haven’tIobservedher，"LadyJohncontinued，"dallyingalittle，sofarasthatgoes，withYOU？You’vethetacttotellmethathedoesn’tthinkmegoodenough，butIdon’trequire，doI？——forsuchapurposeashis——tobeveryextraordinarilygood。Youmaysaythatyouwrapitupimmenselyandtrytosugarthedose！Well，allthesame，giveup，foraquietlife，theattempttobeaprovidence。

Youcan’tbeaprovidenceandnotbeabore。ArealprovidenceKNOWS；whereasyou，"saidLadyJohn，makingherpointneatly，"havetofindout——andtofindoutevenbyasking’thelikesof’ME。Yourfinespeechmeanwhiledoesn’tabittellmewhat。"

Itaffectedmeagainthatshecouldgetsonearwithoutgettingnearer。

TrueenoughitwasthatIwantedtofindout；andthoughImightexpect，orfear，toomuchofher，Iwonderedatheronlyseeingthis——athernotreadingdeeper。Theperilofthepublicuglinessthathauntedmeroseorfell，atthismoment，withmyvaryingviewofherdensity。Orrather，tobemoreexact，IalreadysawherasnecessarilystupidbecauseIsawherasextravagantlyvain。WhatIseenowofcourseisthatIwasonmyownsidealmoststupidlyhardwithher——asImayalsoatthathourhavebeensubjecttoherothervice。Didn’tIperhaps，inproportionasIfelthowlittleshesaw，thinkawfullywellofmyself，aswesaidatNewmarch，forseeingsomuchmore？Itcomesbacktomethatthesensethusestablishedofmysuperiorvisionmayperfectlyhavegonealittletomyhead。IfitwasafrenziedfallacyIwasalltoblame，butifitwasanythingelsewhateveritwasnaturallyintoxicating。Ireallyrememberinfactthatnothingsomuchasthisconfirmedpresumptionofmyimpunityhadappearedtometomarkthefinequalityofmystate。IthinktheremustfairlyhavebeenapitchatwhichIwasnotsurethatnottopartakeofthatstatewas，onthepartofothers，thesignofagregariousvulgarity；asiftherewereapositiveadvantage，anundilutedbliss，intheintensityofconsciousnessthatIhadreached。ialonewasmagnificentlyandabsurdlyaware——everyoneelsewasbenightedlyoutofit。SoIreflectedthattherewouldbealmostnothingImightn’twithsafetymentiontomypresentsubjectofpracticeasanacknowledgmentthatIwasmeddlesome。Icouldputnoclueinherhandthathernotoriousacutenesswouldmakeofthesmallestusetoher。

Themostshecoulddowouldbetomakeitofusetomyself，andtheclueitseemedbesttoselectwasthereforeacompleteconfessionofguilt。

"You’vealucidityofyourowninwhichI’mforcedtorecognisethatthehighestpurityofmotivelooksshrivelledandblack。Youbringoutaccordinglywhathasmademethusbeataboutthebush。HaveyoureallysuchafundofindulgenceforGilbertLongaswemostofus，Igather——thoughperhapsinourblindness——seemtoseeitstickoutagainthathesupposes？

MAYhefondlyfeelthathecancontinuetocountonit？Or，ifyouobjecttomyquestioninthatform，isitnot，frankly，tomakinghisattitude——afterallsothoroughlypublic——moreconvenienttoeachofyouthat（withoutperhapsquitemeasuringwhatyou’reabout，）you’vegoneonsacrificingpoorBriss？Icallitsacrificing，yousee，inspiteoftherehavingbeenasyetnosuchgreatharmdone。Andifyouaskmeagainwhatbusinessofminesuchinquiriesmayrepresent，why，thebestthingwilldoubtlessbetosaytoyouthat，withasmallerdoseofirrepressibleironyinmycompositionthanyouhaveinyours，Ican’tmakesolightasyouofmytendencytoworryonbehalfofthoseIcarefor。LetmefinallyhastentoaddthatI’mnotnowincludinginthatcategoryeitherofthetwogentlemenI’venamed。"

Ifreelyconcede，asIcontinuemyrecord，thattofollowmeatall，atthispoint，gaveproofonLadyJohn’spartofafacultythatshouldhavepreventedmythinkingofherasinordinatelybackward。"ThenwhointheworldAREtheseobjectsofyoursolicitude？"

Ishowed，overandabovemyhesitation，myregretfortheneedofit。

"I’mafraidIcan’ttellyou。"

Atthis，notunnaturally，shefairlyscoffed。"Askingmeeverythingandtellingmenothing，youneverthelesslooktometosatisfyyou？Doyoumean，"shepursued，"thatyouspeakforpersonswhoseinterestismorelegitimatelyfoundedthantheinterestyousoflatteringlyattributetomyself？"

"Well，yes——letthembesodescribed！Can’tyouguess，"Ifurtherrisked，"whoconstitutesatleastONEofmypreoccupations？"

Thecondescensionofherconsenttothinkmarkeditselfhandsomelyenough。

"IsityourideatopretendtomethatI’mkeepingGraceBrissendenawake？"

Therewasconsistencyenoughinherwonder。"Shehasnotbeenanythingbutnicetome；she’snotapersonwhosepathonecrosseswithoutfindingitout；andIcan’timaginewhathasgotintoherifanysuchgrievanceasthatiswhatshehasbeenpouringouttoyouinyourapparentlysodeepconfabulations。"

Thistossoftheballwasonethat，Isawquicklyenough，evenatasteforsportwouldn’tjustifymyanswering，andmylogicalinterestlaymoreoverelsewhere。"Dearno！Mrs。Brissendencertainlyfeelsherstrength，andIshouldneverpresumetotakeundermychargeanypersonalsituationofhers。Ihadinmymindaverydifferentidentity。"

LadyJohn，asiftobepatientwithme，lookedaboutatourcompanionsforahintofit，wonderingwhichoftheladiesImighthavebeensupposedto"carefor"somuchastotolerateinherapreferenceforarival；buttheeffectofthissurveywas，Ithenextinstantobserved，adropofherattentionfromwhatIhadbeensaying。HereyehadbeencaughtbythesightofGilbertLongwithinrangeofus，andthenhadbeenjustvisiblyheldbythefactthatthepersonseatedwithhimononeofthesmallsofasthatalmostofnecessitymadeconversationintimatewasthepersonwhosename，justutteredbetweenus，was，indefaultofthenameshewasinsearchof，stillintheair。GilbertLongandMrs。Brisswereinfamiliarcolloquy——thoughIwasaware，atthefirstflush，ofnothinginthisthatshouldhavemademyinterlocutressstare。ThatisIwasawareofnothingbutthatIhadsimultaneouslymyselfbeenmovedtosomeincreaseofsharpness。WhatCOULD

IhaveknownthatshouldhavecausedmetowonderatthemomentaryexistenceofthisparticularconjunctionofmindsunlessitweresimplythefactthatIhadn’tseenitoccuramidthemanyconjunctionsIhadalreadynoticed——PLUS

thefactthatIhadafewminutesbefore，intheinterestofthefullroundnessofmytheory，actuallybeenmissingit？ThesetwopersonshadmetinmypresenceatPaddingtonandhadtravelledtogetherundermyeyes；IhadtalkedofMrs。BrisswithLongandofLongwithMrs。Briss；butthevividpicturethattheirsocialunionforthwithpresentedstirredwithinme，thoughsostrangelylateintheday，itmighthaveseemed，forsuchanemotion，morethanenoughfreshnessofimpression。Yet——nowthatIdidhaveitthere——whyshoulditbevivid，whystirring，whyapictureatall？

WasANYtemporarycollocation，inahousesoencouragingtosociability，outoftherangeofnature？Intenselyprompt，Ineedscarcelysay，werebothmyfreshnessandmyperceivedobjectionstoit。Thehappiestobjection，couldIhavetakentimetophraseit，woulddoubtlesshavebeenthattheparticulareffectofthisjuxtaposition——tomyeyesatleast——wasathingnottohavebeenforeseen。Thepartiestoitlooked，certainly，asIfeltthatIhadn’tprefiguredthem；thougheventhis，formyreason，wasnotadescriptionoftheiraspect。MuchlesswasitadescriptionfortheintelligenceofLadyJohn——towhom，however，afterall，someformulationofwhatshedimlysawwouldnotbesoindispensable。

Webrieflywatched，atanyrate，together，andasoureyesmetagainwemoreoverconfessedthatwehadwatched。Andwecouldostensiblyhaveofferedeachothernoexplanationofthatimpulsesavethatwehadbeentalkingofthoseconcernedasseparateandthatitwasinconsequencealittleoddtofindourselvessuddenlyseeingthemasone。Forthatwasit——theyWEREasone；asone，atallevents，formylargereading。Mylargereadinghadmeanwhile，fortheconvenienceoftherestofmylittletalkwithLadyJohn，tomakeitselfassmallaspossible。Ihadanoddsense，tillwefellapartagain，asofkeepingmyfingerratherstifflyfixedonapassageinafavouriteauthoronwhichIhadnotpreviouslylighted。

Iheldthebookoutofsightandbehindme；Ispokeofthingsthatwerenotatallinit——ornotatallonthatparticularpage；butmyvolume，nonetheless，wasonlywaiting。Whatmightbewrittentherehummedalreadyinmyearsasaresultofmymereglimpse。HadTHEYalsowonderfullybeguntoknow？HadSHE，mostwonderfully，andhadthey，inthatcase，prodigiouslycometogetheronit？Thiswasapossibilityintowhichmyimaginationcoulddipevendeeperthanintothedepthsoverwhichithadconceivedtheotherpairashovering。Theseopposedcouplesbalancedlikebronzegroupsatthetwoendsofachimney—piece，andthemostIcouldsaytomyselfinluciddeprecationofmythoughtwasthatImustn’ttakethemequallyforgrantedmerelyBECAUSEtheybalanced。Thingsintherealhadawayofnotbalancing；itwasallanaffair，thisfinesymmetry，ofartificialproportion。

YetevenwhileIkeptmyeyesawayfromMrs。BrissandLongitwasvividtomethat，"composing"therebeautifully，theycouldscarcehelpplayingapartinmyexhibition。Themindofman，furthermore——andmygeneralisationpressedhard，withaquicktwist，onthesupersubtletyastowhichIhadjustbeenprivatelycomplacent——themindofmandoubtlessdidn’tknowfromoneminutetotheother，undertheappealofphantasmagoriclife，whatitwouldprofitablybeat。IthadstruckmeafewsecondsbeforeasvulgarlygrossinLadyJohnthatshewascurious，orconscious，ofsosmallapart；

inspiteofwhichIwasalreadysecretlywincingatthehintthattheseothershadbeguntofindthemselveslessinthedarkandperhapsevendirectlytoexchangetheirglimmerings。

Mypersonalprivilege，onthebasisofthefullconsciousness，hadbecome，onthespot，intheturnofaneye，morethanquestionable，andIwasreallyquitescaredatthechanceofhavingtoface——ofhavingtoseeTHEMface——anotherrecognition。Whatdidthisalarmimplybutthecompletereversalofmyestimateofthevalueofperception？Mrs。BrissendenandLonghadbeenhithertomagnificentlywithoutit，andIwasresponsibleperhapsforhaving，inamoodpracticallymuchstupiderthanthestupidestoftheirs，putthemgratuitouslyandhelplesslyONit。Tobewithoutitwasthemostconsistent，themostsuccessful，becausethemostamiable，formofselfishness；andwhyshouldpeopleadmirablyequippedforremainingso，peoplebrightandinsolentintheirpriorstate，peopleinwhomthisstatewastohavebeenrespectedasasurfacewithoutascratchisrespected，bemadetobegintovibrate，tocrackandsplit，fromwithin？Wasn’titenoughforMEtopay，vicariously，thetaxonbeingabsurd？Werewealltobelanded，withoutanissueoraremedy，inaconditiononwhichthattaxwouldbegenerallylevied？Itwasasif，abruptly，withanewemotion，IhadwishedtounthinkeverythoughtwithwhichIhadbeenoccupiedfortwenty—fourhours。Letmeadd，however，thatevenhadthisprocessbeenmanageableIwasawareofnotproposingtobeginittillIshouldhavedonewithLadyJohn。