第18章

Hesentoutwordbyhisoffice—boythathewouldliketoseeMr。Coreyforafewminutesafterclosing。

Thetype—writergirlhadlingeredtoo，asifshewishedtospeakwithhim，andCoreystoodinabeyanceasshewenttowardLapham’sdoor。

"Can’tseeyouto—night，Zerrilla，"hesaidbluffly，butnotunkindly。"PerhapsI’llcallatthehouse，ifit’simportant。"

"Itis，"saidthegirl，withaspoiledairofinsistence。

"Well，"saidLapham，and，noddingtoCoreytoenter，heclosedthedooruponher。Thenheturnedtotheyoung，mananddemanded："WasIdrunklastnight？"

XV。

LAPHAM’Sstrenuousfacewasbrokenupwiththeemotionsthathadforcedhimtothisquestion：shame，fearofthethingsthatmusthavebeenthoughtofhim，mixedwithafainthopethathemightbemistaken，whichdiedoutattheshockedandpityinglookinCorey’seyes。

"WasIdrunk？"herepeated。"Iaskyou，becauseIwasnevertouchedbydrinkinmylifebefore，andIdon’tknow。"

Hestoodwithhishugehandstremblingonthebackofhischair，andhisdrylipsapart，ashestaredatCorey。

"Thatiswhateveryoneunderstood，ColonelLapham，"

saidtheyoungman。"Everyonesawhowitwas。

Don’t————"

"DidtheytalkitoverafterIleft？"askedLaphamvulgarly。

"Excuseme，"saidCorey，blushing，"myfatherdoesn’ttalkhisguestsoverwithoneanother。"Headded，withyouthfulsuperfluity，"Youwereamonggentlemen。"

"Iwastheonlyonethatwasn’tagentlemanthere！"

lamentedLapham。"Idisgracedyou！Idisgracedmyfamily！I

mortifiedyourfatherbeforehisfriends！"Hisheaddropped。

"IshowedthatIwasn’tfittogowithyou。I’mnotfitforanydecentplace。WhatdidIsay？WhatdidIdo？"

heasked，suddenlyliftinghisheadandconfrontingCorey。

"Outwithit！Ifyoucouldbeartoseeitandhearit，Ihadoughttobeartoknowit！"

"Therewasnothing——reallynothing，"saidCorey。

"Beyondthefactthatyouwerenotquiteyourself，therewasnothingwhatever。MyfatherDIDspeakofittome，"heconfessed，"whenwewerealone。Hesaidthathewasafraidwehadnotbeenthoughtfulofyou，ifyouwereinthehabitoftakingonlywater；ItoldhimIhadnotseenwineatyourtable。Theotherssaidnothingaboutyou。"

"Ah，butwhatdidtheythink？"

"Probablywhatwedid：thatitwaspurelyamisfortune——

anaccident。"

"Iwasn’tfittobethere，"persistedLapham。"Doyouwanttoleave？"heasked，withsavageabruptness。

"Leave？"falteredtheyoungman。

"Yes；quitthebusiness？Cutthewholeconnection？"

"Ihaven’ttheremotestideaofit！"criedCoreyinamazement。

"WhyintheworldshouldI？""Becauseyou’reagentleman，andI’mnot，anditain’trightIshouldbeoveryou。

Ifyouwanttogo，Iknowsomepartiesthatwouldbegladtogetyou。Iwillgiveyouupifyouwanttogobeforeanythingworsehappens，andIshan’tblameyou。

IcanhelpyoutosomethingbetterthanIcanofferyouhere，andIwill。"

"There’snoquestionofmygoing，unlessyouwishit，"

saidCorey。"Ifyoudo————"

"Willyoutellyourfather，"interruptedLapham，"thatIhadanotionallthetimethatIwasactingthedrunkenblackguard，andthatI’vesufferedforitallday？WillyoutellhimIdon’twanthimtonoticemeifweevermeet，andthatIknowI’mnotfittoassociatewithgentlemeninanythingbutabusinessway，ifIamthat？"

"CertainlyIshalldonothingofthekind，"retortedCorey。

"Ican’tlistentoyouanylonger。Whatyousayisshockingtome——shockinginawayyoucan’tthink。"

"Why，man！"exclaimedLapham，withastonishment；"ifI

canstandit，YOUcan！"

"No，"saidCorey，withasicklook，"thatdoesn’tfollow。

Youmaydenounceyourself，ifyouwill；butIhavemyreasonsforrefusingtohearyou——myreasonswhyICAN’Thearyou。

IfyousayanotherwordImustgoaway。"

"Idon’tunderstandyou，"falteredLapham，inbewilderment，whichabsorbedevenhisshame。

"Youexaggeratetheeffectofwhathashappened，"

saidtheyoungman。"It’senough，morethanenough，foryoutohavementionedthemattertome，andIthinkit’sunbecominginmetohearyou。"

Hemadeamovementtowardthedoor，butLaphamstoppedhimwiththetragichumilityofhisappeal。"Don’tgoyet！Ican’tletyou。I’vedisgustedyou，——Iseethat；

butIdidn’tmeanto。I——Itakeitback。"

"Oh，there’snothingtotakeback，"saidCorey，witharepressedshudderfortheabasementwhichhehadseen。

"Butletussaynomoreaboutit——thinknomore。

Therewasn’toneofthegentlemenpresentlastnightwhodidn’tunderstandthematterpreciselyasmyfatherandIdid，andthatfactmustenditbetweenustwo。"

Hewentoutintothelargerofficebeyond，leavingLaphamhelplesstopreventhisgoing。IthadbecomeavitalnecessitywithhimtothinkthebestofLapham，buthismindwasinawhirlofwhateverthoughtsweremostinjurious。

Hethoughtofhimthenightbeforeinthecompanyofthoseladiesandgentlemen，andhequiveredinresentmentofhisvulgar，braggart，uncouthnature。Herecognisedhisownallegiancetotheexclusivenesstowhichhewasbornandbred，asamanperceiveshisdutytohiscountrywhenherrightsareinvaded。Hiseyefellontheportergoingaboutinhisshirt—sleevestomaketheplacefastforthenight，andhesaidtohimselfthatDenniswasnotmoreplebeianthanhismaster；thatthegrossappetites，thebluntsense，thepurblindambition，thestupidarrogancewerethesameinboth，andthedifferencewasinabrutewillthatprobablylefttheporterthegentlermanofthetwo。

TheveryinnocenceofLapham’slifeinthedirectioninwhichhehaderredwroughtagainsthimintheyoungman’smood：itcontainedtheinsultofclownishinexperience。

Amidstthestingsandflashesofhiswoundedpride，allthesocialtraditions，allthehabitsoffeeling，whichhehadsilencedmoreandmorebyforceofwillduringthepastmonths，assertedtheirnaturalsway，andheriotedinhiscontemptoftheoffensiveboor，whowasevenmoreoffensiveinhisshamethaninhistrespass。

HesaidtohimselfthathewasaCorey，asifthatweresomewhat；yetheknewthatatthebottomofhisheartallthetimewasthatwhichmustcontrolhimatlast，andwhichseemedsweetlytobesufferinghisrebellion，secureofhissubmissionintheend。Itwasalmostwiththegirl’svoicethatitseemedtopleadwithhim，toundoinhim，effectbyeffect，theworkofhisindignantresentment，tosetallthingsinanotherandfairerlight，togivehimhopes，tosuggestpalliations，toprotestagainstinjustices。ItWASinLapham’sfavourthathewassoguiltlessinthepast，andnowCoreyaskedhimselfifitwerethefirsttimehecouldhavewishedaguestathisfather’stabletohavetakenlesswine；

whetherLaphamwasnotrathertobehonouredfornotknowinghowtocontainhisfollywhereaveterantransgressormighthaveheldhistongue。Heaskedhimself，withathrillofsuddenremorse，whether，whenLaphamhumbledhimselfinthedustsoshockingly，hehadshownhimthesympathytowhichsuchABANDONhadtheright；andhehadtoownthathehadmethimonthegentlemanlyground，sparinghimselfandassertingthesuperiorityofhissort，andnotrecognisingthatLapham’shumiliationcamefromthesenseofwrong，whichhehadhelpedtoaccumulateuponhimbysuperfinelystandingaloofandrefusingtotouchhim。

Heshuthisdeskandhurriedoutintotheearlynight，nottogoanywhere，buttowalkupanddown，totrytofindhiswayoutofthechaos，whichnowseemedruin，andnowthematerialsoutofwhichfineactionsandahappylifemightbeshaped。ThreehourslaterhestoodatLapham’sdoor。

Attimeswhathenowwishedtodohadseemedforeverimpossible，andagainithadseemedasifhecouldnotwaitamomentlonger。

Hehadnotbeencareless，butverymindfulofwhatheknewmustbethefeelingsofhisownfamilyinregardtotheLaphams，andhehadnotconcealedfromhimselfthathisfamilyhadgreatreasonandjusticeontheirsideinnotwishinghimtoalienatehimselffromtheircommonlifeandassociations。Themostthathecouldurgetohimselfwasthattheyhadnotallthereasonandjustice；

buthehadhesitatedanddelayedbecausetheyhadsomuch。

Oftenhecouldnotmakeitappearrightthatheshouldmerelypleasehimselfinwhatchieflyconcernedhimself。

HeperceivedhowfarapartinalltheirexperiencesandidealstheLaphamgirlsandhissisterswere；howdifferentMrs。Laphamwasfromhismother；howgrotesquelyunlikewerehisfatherandLapham；andthedisparityhadnotalwaysamusedhim。

Hehadoftentakenitveryseriously，andsometimeshesaidthathemustforegothehopeonwhichhisheartwasset。

Therehadbeenmanytimesinthepastmonthswhenhehadsaidthathemustgonofurther，andasoftenashehadtakenthisstandhehadyieldedit，uponthisorthatexcuse，whichhewasawareoftrumpingup。Itwaspartofthecomplicationthatheshouldheunconsciousoftheinjuryhemightbedoingtosomeonebesideshisfamilyandhimself；

thiswasthedefectofhisdiffidence；andithadcometohiminapangforthefirsttimewhenhismothersaidthatshewouldnothavetheLaphamsthinkshewishedtomakemoreoftheacquaintancethanhedid；andthenithadcometoolate。Sincethathehadsufferedquiteasmuchfromthefearthatitmightnotbeasthatitmightbeso；andnow，inthemood，romanticandexalted，inwhichhefoundhimselfconcerningLapham，hewasasfarasmightbefromvainconfidence。Heendedthequestioninhisownmindbyaffirmingtohimselfthathewasthere，firstofall，toseeLaphamandgivehimanultimateproofofhisownperfectfaithandunabatedrespect，andtoofferhimwhatreparationthisinvolvedforthatwantofsympathy——ofhumanity——whichhehadshown。

XVI。

THENovaScotiasecond—girlwhoansweredCorey’sringsaidthatLaphamhadnotcomehomeyet。

"Oh，"saidtheyoungman，hesitatingontheouterstep。

"Iguessyoubettercomein，"saidthegirl，"I’llgoandseewhenthey’reexpectinghim。"

Coreywasinthemoodtobeswayedbyanychance。

Heobeyedthesuggestionofthesecond—girl’spatronisingfriendliness，andlethershuthimintothedrawing—room，whileshewentupstairstoannouncehimtoPenelope。

"Didyoutellhimfatherwasn’tathome？"

"Yes。Heseemedsokindofdisappointed，Itoldhimtocomein，andI’dseewhenheWOULDbein，"saidthegirl，withthehumaninterestwhichsometimesreplacesintheAmericandomestictheserviledeferenceofothercountries。

AgleamofamusementpassedoverPenelope’sface，assheglancedatherselfintheglass。"Well，"shecriedfinally，droppingfromhershouldersthelightshawlinwhichshehadbeenhuddledoverabookwhenCoreyrang，"Iwillgodown。"

"Allright，"saidthegirl，andPenelopebeganhastilytoamendthedisarrayofherhair，whichshetumbledintoamassonthetopofherlittlehead，settingoffthepaledarkofhercomplexionwithaflashofcrimsonribbonatherthroat。Shemovedacrossthecarpetonceortwicewiththequaintgracethatbelongedtohersmallfigure，madeadissatisfiedgrimaceatitintheglass，caughtahandkerchiefoutofadrawerandsliditintoherpocket，andthendescendedtoCorey。

TheLaphamdrawing—roominNankeenSquarewasintheparti—colouredpaintwhichtheColonelhadhopedtorepeatinhisnewhouse：thetrimofthedoorsandwindowswasinlightgreenandthepanelsinsalmon；thewallswereaplaintintofFrenchgreypaper，dividedbygiltmouldingsintobroadpanelswithawidestripeofredvelvetpaperrunningupthecorners；thechandelierwasofmassiveimitationbronze；themirroroverthemantelrestedonafringedmantel—coverofgreenreps，andheavycurtainsofthatstuffhungfromgiltlambrequinframesatthewindow；thecarpetwasofasmallpatternincrudegreen，which，atthetimeMrs。Laphamboughtit，coveredhalfthenewfloorsinBoston。Inthepanelledspacesonthewallsweresomestone—colouredlandscapes，representingthemountainsandcanyonsoftheWest，whichtheColonelandhiswifehadvisitedononeoftheearlyofficialrailroadexcursions。InfrontofthelongwindowslookingintotheSquarewerestatues，kneelingfigureswhichturnedtheirbacksuponthecompanywithin—doors，andrepresentedallegoriesofFaithandPrayertopeoplewithout。Awhitemarblegroupofseveralfigures，expressinganItalianconceptionofLincolnFreeingtheSlaves，——aLatinnegroandhiswife，——withourEagleflappinghiswingsinapproval，atLincoln’sfeet，occupiedonecorner，andbalancedthewhat—notofanearlierperiodinanother。Thesephantasmsaddedtheirchilltothatimpartedbythetoneofthewalls，thelandscapes，andthecarpets，andcontributedtotheviolenceofthecontrastwhenthechandelierwaslightedupfullglare，andtheheatofthewholefurnacewelledupfromtheregistersintothequiveringatmosphereononeoftherareoccasionswhentheLaphamsinvitedcompany。

Coreyhadnotbeeninthisroombefore；thefamilyhadalwaysreceivedhiminwhattheycalledthesitting—room。

Penelopelookedintothisfirst，andthenshelookedintotheparlour，withasmilethatbrokeintoalaughasshediscoveredhimstandingunderthesingleburnerwhichthesecond—girlhadlightedforhiminthechandelier。

"Idon’tunderstandhowyoucametobeputinthere，"

shesaid，assheledthewaytothecozierplace，"unlessitwasbecauseAlicethoughtyouwereonlyhereonprobation，anyway。Fatherhasn’tgothomeyet，butI’mexpectinghimeverymoment；Idon’tknowwhat’skeepinghim。DidthegirltellyouthatmotherandIrenewereout？"

"No，shedidn’tsay。It’sverygoodofyoutoseeme。"

Shehadnotseentheexaltationwhichhehadbeenfeeling，heperceivedwithhalfasigh；itmustallbeuponthislowerlevel；perhapsitwasbestso。"TherewassomethingIwishedtosaytoyourfather————Ihope，"hebrokeoff，"you’rebetterto—night。"

"Ohyes，thankyou，"saidPenelope，rememberingthatshehadnotbeenwellenoughtogotodinnerthenightbefore。

"Weallmissedyouverymuch。"

"Oh，thankyou！I’mafraidyouwouldn’thavemissedmeifIhadbeenthere。"

"Ohyes，weshould，"saidCorey，"Iassureyou。"

Theylookedateachother。

"IreallythinkIbelievedIwassayingsomething，"

saidthegirl。

"AndsodidI，"repliedtheyoungman。Theylaughedratherwildly，andthentheybothbecamerathergrave。

Hetookthechairshegavehim，andlookedacrossather，whereshesatontheothersideofthehearth，inachairlowerthanhis，withherhandsdroppedinherlap，andthebackofherheadonhershouldersasshelookedupathim。

Thesoft—coalfireinthegratepurredandflickered；

thedrop—lightcastamellowradianceonherface。

Shelethereyesfall，andthenliftedthemforanirrelevantglanceattheclockonthemantel。

"MotherandIrenehavegonetotheSpanishStudents’concert。"

"Oh，havethey？"askedCorey；andheputhishat，whichhehadbeenholdinginhishand，onthefloorbesidehischair。

Shelookeddownatitfornoreason，andthenlookedupathisfacefornoother，andturnedalittlered。

Coreyturnedalittleredhimself。Shewhohadalwaysbeensoeasywithhimnowbecamealittleconstrained。

"Doyouknowhowwarmitisout—of—doors？"heasked。

"No，isitwarm？Ihaven’tbeenoutallday。"

"It’slikeasummernight。"

Sheturnedherfacetowardsthefire，andthenstartedabruptly。"Perhapsit’stoowarmforyouhere？"

"Ohno，it’sverycomfortable。"

"Isupposeit’sthecoldofthelastfewdaysthat’sstillinthehouse。Iwasreadingwithashawlonwhenyoucame。"

"Iinterruptedyou。"

"Ohno。Ihadfinishedthebook。Iwasjustlookingoveritagain。"

"Doyouliketoreadbooksover？"

"Yes；booksthatIlikeatall。"

"Thatwasit？"askedCorey。

Thegirlhesitated。"Ithasratherasentimentalname。

Didyoueverreadit？——Tears，IdleTears。"

"Ohyes；theyweretalkingofthatlastnight；it’safamousbookwithladies。Theybreaktheirheartsoverit。

Diditmakeyoucry？"

"Oh，it’sprettyeasytocryoverabook，"saidPenelope，laughing；"andthatoneisverynaturaltillyoucometothemainpoint。Thenthenaturalnessofalltherestmakesthatseemnaturaltoo；butIguessit’sratherforced。"

"Hergivinghimuptotheotherone？"

"Yes；simplybecauseshehappenedtoknowthattheotheronehadcaredforhimfirst。Whyshouldshehavedoneit？Whatrighthadshe？"

"Idon’tknow。Isupposethattheself—sacrifice————"

"ButitWASN’Tself—sacrifice——ornotself—sacrificealone。

Shewassacrificinghimtoo；andforsomeonewhocouldn’tappreciatehimhalfasmuchasshecould。

I’mprovokedwithmyselfwhenIthinkhowIcriedoverthatbook——forIdidcry。It’ssilly——it’swickedforanyonetodowhatthatgirldid。Whycan’ttheyletpeoplehaveachancetobehavereasonablyinstories？"

"Perhapstheycouldn’tmakeitsoattractive，"

suggestedCorey，withasmile。

"Itwouldbenovel，atanyrate，"saidthegirl。

"Butsoitwouldinreallife，Isuppose，"sheadded。

"Idon’tknow。Whyshouldn’tpeopleinlovebehavesensibly？"

"That’saveryseriousquestion，"saidPenelopegravely。

"Icouldn’tanswerit，"andshelefthimtheembarrassmentofsupportinganinquirywhichshehadcertainlyinstigatedherself。Sheseemedtohavefinallyrecoveredherowneaseindoingthis。"Doyouadmireourautumnaldisplay，Mr。Corey？"

"Yourdisplay？"

"ThetreesintheSquare。WEthinkit’squiteequaltoanopeningatJordan&Marsh’s。"

"Ah，I’mafraidyouwouldn’tletmebeseriousevenaboutyourmaples。"

"Ohyes，Ishould——ifyouliketobeserious。"

"Don’tyou？"

"Wellnotaboutseriousmatters。That’sthereasonthatbookmademecry。"

"Youmakefunofeverything。MissIrenewastellingmelastnightaboutyou。"

"Thenit’snouseformetodenyitsosoon。ImustgiveIreneatalkingto。"

"Ihopeyouwon’tforbidhertotalkaboutyou！"

Shehadtakenupafanfromthetable，andheldit，nowbetweenherfaceandthefire，andnowbetweenherfaceandhim。Herlittlevisage，withthatarch，lazylookinit，toppedbyitsmassofduskyhair，anddwindlingfromthefullcheekstothesmallchin，hadaJapaneseeffectinthesubduedlight，andithadthecharmwhichcomestoanywomanwithhappiness。

Itwouldbehardtosayhowmuchofthissheperceivedthathefelt。Theytalkedaboutotherthingsawhile，andthenshecamebacktowhathehadsaid。Sheglancedathimobliquelyroundherfan，andstoppedmovingit。

"DoesIrenetalkaboutme？"sheasked。"Ithinkso——yes。

Perhapsit’sonlyIwhotalkaboutyou。Youmustblamemeifit’swrong，"hereturned。

"Oh，Ididn’tsayitwaswrong，"shereplied。"ButI

hopeifyousaidanythingverybadofmeyou’llletmeknowwhatitwas，sothatIcanreform————"

"No，don’tchange，please！"criedtheyoungman。

Penelopecaughtherbreath，butwentonresolutely，——

"orrebukeyouforspeakingevilofdignities。"

Shelookeddownatthefan，nowflatinherlap，andtriedtogovernherhead，butittrembled，andsheremainedlookingdown。Againtheyletthetalkstray，andthenitwashewhobroughtitbacktothemselves，asifithadnotleftthem。

"IhavetotalkOFyou，"saidCorey，"becauseIgettotalkTOyousoseldom。"

"YoumeanthatIdoallthetalkingwhenwe’re——together？"

Sheglancedsidewiseathim；butshereddenedafterspeakingthelastword。

"We’resoseldomtogether，"hepursued。

"Idon’tknowwhatyoumean————"

"SometimesI’vethought——I’vebeenafraidthatyouavoidedme。"

"Avoidedyou？"

"Yes！Triednottobealonewithme。"

Shemighthavetoldhimthattherewasnoreasonwhysheshouldbealonewithhim，andthatitwasverystrangeheshouldmakethiscomplaintofher。Butshedidnot。

Shekeptlookingdownatthefan，andthensheliftedherburningfaceandlookedattheclockagain。

"MotherandIrenewillbesorrytomissyou，"shegasped。

Heinstantlyroseandcametowardsher。Sherosetoo，andmechanicallyputoutherhand。Hetookitasiftosaygood—night。"Ididn’tmeantosendyouaway，"

shebesoughthim。

"Oh，I’mnotgoing，"heansweredsimply。"Iwantedtosay——tosaythatit’sIwhomakehertalkaboutyou。

TosayI————ThereissomethingIwanttosaytoyou；

I’vesaiditsooftentomyselfthatIfeelasifyoumustknowit。"Shestoodquitestill，lettinghimkeepherhand，andquestioninghisfacewithabewilderedgaze。"YouMUST

know——shemusthavetoldyou——shemusthaveguessed————"

Penelopeturnedwhite，butoutwardlyquelledthepanicthatsentthebloodtoherheart。"I——Ididn’texpect——I

hopedtohaveseenyourfather——butImustspeaknow，whatever————Iloveyou！"

Shefreedherhandfrombothofthosehehadcloseduponit，andwentbackfromhimacrosstheroomwithasinuousspring。

"ME！"Whateverpotentialcomplicityhadlurkedinherheart，hiswordsbroughtheronlyimmeasurabledismay。

Hecametowardsheragain。"Yes，you。Whoelse？"

Shefendedhimoffwithanimploringgesture。

"Ithought——I——itwas————"

Sheshutherlipstight，andstoodlookingathimwhereheremainedinsilentamaze。Thenherwordscameagain，shudderingly。"Oh，whathaveyoudone？"

"Uponmysoul，"hesaid，withavaguesmile，"Idon’tknow。

Ihopenoharm？"

"Oh，don’tlaugh！"shecried，laughinghystericallyherself。

"Unlessyouwantmetothinkyouthegreatestwretchintheworld！"

"I？"heresponded。"Forheaven’ssaketellmewhatyoumean！"

"YouknowIcan’ttellyou。Canyousay——canyouputyourhandonyourheartandsaythat——you——sayyounevermeant——thatyoumeantme——allalong？"

"Yes！——yes！Whoelse？Icameheretoseeyourfather，andtotellhimthatIwishedtotellyouthis——toaskhim————Butwhatdoesitmatter？Youmusthaveknownit——youmusthaveseen——andit’sforyoutoanswerme。

I’vebeenabrupt，Iknow，andI’vestartledyou；butifyouloveme，youcanforgivethattomylovingyousolongbeforeIspoke。"

Shegazedathimwithpartedlips。

"Oh，mercy！WhatshallIdo？Ifit’strue——whatyousay——youmustgo！"shesaid。"Andyoumustnevercomeanymore。

Doyoupromisethat？"

"Certainlynot，"saidtheyoungman。"WhyshouldI

promisesuchathing——soabominablywrong？Icouldobeyifyoudidn’tloveme————"

"Oh，Idon’t！IndeedIdon’t！Nowwillyouobey。"

"No。Idon’tbelieveyou。""Oh！"

Hepossessedhimselfofherhandagain。

"Mylove——mydearest！Whatisthistrouble，thatyoucan’ttellit？Itcan’tbeanythingaboutyourself。

Ifitisanythingaboutanyoneelse，itwouldn’tmaketheleastdifferenceintheworld，nomatterwhatitwas。

IwouldbeonlytoogladtoshowbyanyactordeedIcouldthatnothingcouldchangemetowardsyou。"

"Oh，youdon’tunderstand！"

"No，Idon’t。Youmusttellme。"

"Iwillneverdothat。"