第4章
Notlongafterthisthemaidsandthelanternswereannounced。MrsJamiesonhadthesedan—chair，whichhadsqueezeditselfintoMissBarker’snarrowlobbywithsomedifficulty，andmostliterally"stoppedtheway。"Itrequiredsomeskilfulmanoeuvringonthepartoftheoldchairmen（shoemakersbyday，butwhensummonedtocarrythesedandressedupinastrangeoldlivery—longgreat—
coats，withsmallcapes，coevalwiththesedan，andsimilartothedressoftheclassinHogarth’spictures）toedge，andback，andtryatitagain，andfinallytosucceedincarryingtheirburdenoutofMissBarker’sfrontdoor。Thenweheardtheirquickpit—a—
patalongthequietlittlestreetasweputonourcalashesandpinnedupourgowns；MissBarkerhoveringaboutuswithoffersofhelp，which，ifshehadnotrememberedherformeroccupation，andwishedustoforgetit，wouldhavebeenmuchmorepressing。
CHAPTERVIII—"YOURLADYSHIP"
EARLYthenextmorning—directlyaftertwelve—MissPolemadeherappearanceatMissMatty’s。Someverytriflingpieceofbusinesswasallegedasareasonforthecall；buttherewasevidentlysomethingbehind。Atlastoutitcame。
"Bytheway，you’llthinkI’mstrangelyignorant；but，doyoureallyknow，IampuzzledhowweoughttoaddressLadyGlenmire。
Doyousay，’YourLadyship，’whereyouwouldsay’you’toacommonperson？Ihavebeenpuzzlingallmorning；andarewetosay’MyLady，’insteadof’Ma’am？’NowyouknewLadyArley—willyoukindlytellmethemostcorrectwayofspeakingtothepeerage？"
PoorMissMatty！shetookoffherspectaclesandsheputthemonagain—buthowLadyArleywasaddressed，shecouldnotremember。
"Itissolongago，"shesaid。"Dear！dear！howstupidIam！I
don’tthinkIeversawhermorethantwice。IknowweusedtocallSirPeter，’SirPeter’—buthecamemuchoftenertoseeusthanLadyArleydid。Deborahwouldhaveknowninaminute。’Mylady’—
’yourladyship。’Itsoundsverystrange，andasifitwasnotnatural。Ineverthoughtofitbefore；but，nowyouhavenamedit，Iamallinapuzzle。"
ItwasverycertainMissPolewouldobtainnowisedecisionfromMissMatty，whogotmorebewilderedeverymoment，andmoreperplexedastoetiquettesofaddress。
"Well，Ireallythink，"saidMissPole，"IhadbetterjustgoandtellMrsForresteraboutourlittledifficulty。Onesometimesgrowsnervous；andyetonewouldnothaveLadyGlenmirethinkwewerequiteignorantoftheetiquettesofhighlifeinCranford。"
"Andwillyoujuststepinhere，dearMissPole，asyoucomeback，please，andtellmewhatyoudecideupon？WhateveryouandMrsForresterfixupon，willbequiteright，I’msure。’LadyArley，’
’SirPeter，’"saidMissMattytoherself，tryingtorecalltheoldformsofwords。
"WhoisLadyGlenmire？"askedI。
"Oh，she’sthewidowofMrJamieson—that’sMrsJamieson’slatehusband，youknow—widowofhiseldestbrother。MrsJamiesonwasaMissWalker，daughterofGovernorWalker。’Yourladyship。’Mydear，iftheyfixonthatwayofspeaking，youmustjustletmepracticealittleonyoufirst，forIshallfeelsofoolishandhotsayingitthefirsttimetoLadyGlenmire。"
ItwasreallyarelieftoMissMattywhenMrsJamiesoncameonaveryunpoliteerrand。Inoticethatapatheticpeoplehavemorequietimpertinencethanothers；andMrsJamiesoncamenowtoinsinuateprettyplainlythatshedidnotparticularlywishthattheCranfordladiesshouldcalluponhersister—in—law。Icanhardlysayhowshemadethisclear；forIgrewveryindignantandwarm，whilewithslowdeliberationshewasexplainingherwishestoMissMatty，who，atrueladyherself，couldhardlyunderstandthefeelingwhichmadeMrsJamiesonwishtoappeartohernoblesister—
in—lawasifsheonlyvisited"county"families。MissMattyremainedpuzzledandperplexedlongafterIhadfoundouttheobjectofMrsJamieson’svisit。
Whenshedidunderstandthedriftofthehonourablelady’scall，itwasprettytoseewithwhatquietdignityshereceivedtheintimationthusuncourteouslygiven。Shewasnotintheleasthurt—shewasoftoogentleaspiritforthat；norwassheexactlyconsciousofdisapprovingofMrsJamieson’sconduct；buttherewassomethingofthisfeelinginhermind，Iamsure，whichmadeherpassfromthesubjecttoothersinalessflurriedandmorecomposedmannerthanusual。MrsJamiesonwas，indeed，themoreflurriedofthetwo，andIcouldseeshewasgladtotakeherleave。
AlittlewhileafterwardsMissPolereturned，redandindignant。
"Well！tobesure！You’vehadMrsJamiesonhere，IfindfromMartha；andwearenottocallonLadyGlenmire。Yes！ImetMrsJamieson，half—waybetweenhereandMrsForrester’s，andshetoldme；shetookmesobysurprise，Ihadnothingtosay。IwishIhadthoughtofsomethingverysharpandsarcastic；IdaresayIshallto—night。AndLadyGlenmireisbutthewidowofaScotchbaronafterall！IwentontolookatMrsForrester’sPeerage，toseewhothisladywas，thatistobekeptunderaglasscase：widowofaScotchpeer—neversatintheHouseofLords—andaspoorasjob，Idaresay；andshe—fifthdaughterofsomeMrCampbellorother。Youarethedaughterofarector，atanyrate，andrelatedtotheArleys；andSirPetermighthavebeenViscountArley，everyonesays。"
MissMattytriedtosootheMissPole，butinvain。Thatlady，usuallysokindandgood—humoured，wasnowinafullflowofanger。
"AndIwentandorderedacapthismorning，tobequiteready，"
saidsheatlast，lettingoutthesecretwhichgavestingtoMrsJamieson’sintimation。"MrsJamiesonshallseeifitissoeasytogetmetomakefourthatapoolwhenshehasnoneofherfineScotchrelationswithher！"
Incomingoutofchurch，thefirstSundayonwhichLadyGlenmireappearedinCranford，wesedulouslytalkedtogether，andturnedourbacksonMrsJamiesonandherguest。Ifwemightnotcallonher，wewouldnotevenlookather，thoughweweredyingwithcuriositytoknowwhatshewaslike。WehadthecomfortofquestioningMarthaintheafternoon。MarthadidnotbelongtoasphereofsocietywhoseobservationcouldbeanimpliedcomplimenttoLadyGlenmire，andMarthahadmadegooduseofhereyes。
"Well，ma’am！isitthelittleladywithMrsJamieson，youmean？I
thoughtyouwouldlikemoretoknowhowyoungMrsSmithwasdressed；herbeingabride。"（MrsSmithwasthebutcher’swife）。
MissPolesaid，"Goodgraciousme！asifwecaredaboutaMrsSmith；"butwassilentasMartharesumedherspeech。
"ThelittleladyinMrsJamieson’spewhadon，ma’am，ratheranoldblacksilk，andashepherd’splaidcloak，ma’am，andverybrightblackeyesshehad，ma’am，andapleasant，sharpface；notoveryoung，ma’am，butyet，Ishouldguess，youngerthanMrsJamiesonherself。Shelookedupanddownthechurch，likeabird，andnippedupherpetticoats，whenshecameout，asquickandsharpaseverIsee。I’lltellyouwhat，ma’am，she’smorelikeMrsDeacon，atthe’CoachandHorses，’noranyone。"
"Hush，Martha！"saidMissMatty，"that’snotrespectful。"
"Isn’tit，ma’am？Ibegpardon，I’msure；butJemHearnsaidsoaswell。Hesaid，shewasjustsuchasharp，stirringsortofabody"
—
"Lady，"saidMissPole。
"Lady—asMrsDeacon。"
AnotherSundaypassedaway，andwestillavertedoureyesfromMrsJamiesonandherguest，andmaderemarkstoourselvesthatwethoughtwereverysevere—almosttoomuchso。MissMattywasevidentlyuneasyatoursarcasticmannerofspeaking。
PerhapsbythistimeLadyGlenmirehadfoundoutthatMrsJamieson’swasnotthegayest，liveliesthouseintheworld；
perhapsMrsJamiesonhadfoundoutthatmostofthecountyfamilieswereinLondon，andthatthosewhoremainedinthecountrywerenotsoaliveastheymighthavebeentothecircumstanceofLadyGlenmirebeingintheirneighbourhood。Greateventsspringoutofsmallcauses；soIwillnotpretendtosaywhatinducedMrsJamiesontoalterherdeterminationofexcludingtheCranfordladies，andsendnotesofinvitationallroundforasmallpartyonthefollowingTuesday。MrMullinerhimselfbroughtthemround。HeWOULDalwaysignorethefactoftherebeingaback—doortoanyhouse，andgavealouderrat—tatthanhismistress，MrsJamieson。
Hehadthreelittlenotes，whichhecarriedinalargebasket，inordertoimpresshismistresswithanideaoftheirgreatweight，thoughtheymighteasilyhavegoneintohiswaistcoatpocket。
MissMattyandIquietlydecidedthatwewouldhaveapreviousengagementathome：itwastheeveningonwhichMissMattyusuallymadecandle—lightersofallthenotesandlettersoftheweek；foronMondaysheraccountswerealwaysmadestraight—notapennyowingfromtheweekbefore；so，byanaturalarrangement，makingcandle—lightersfelluponaTuesdayevening，andgaveusalegitimateexcusefordecliningMrsJamieson’sinvitation。Butbeforeouranswerwaswritten，incameMissPole，withanopennoteinherhand。
"So！"shesaid。"Ah！Iseeyouhavegotyournote，too。Betterlatethannever。IcouldhavetoldmyLadyGlenmireshewouldbegladenoughofoursocietybeforeafortnightwasover。"
"Yes，"saidMissMatty，"we’reaskedforTuesdayevening。Andperhapsyouwouldjustkindlybringyourworkacrossanddrinkteawithusthatnight。Itismyusualregulartimeforlookingoverthelastweek’sbills，andnotes，andletters，andmakingcandle—
lightersofthem；butthatdoesnotseemquitereasonenoughforsayingIhaveapreviousengagementathome，thoughImeanttomakeitdo。Now，ifyouwouldcome，myconsciencewouldbequiteatease，andluckilythenoteisnotwrittenyet。"
IsawMissPole’scountenancechangewhileMissMattywasspeaking。
"Don’tyoumeantogothen？"askedshe。
"Oh，no！"said，MissMattyquietly。"Youdon’teither，Isuppose？"
"Idon’tknow，"repliedMissPole。"Yes，IthinkIdo，"saidshe，ratherbriskly；andonseeingMissMattylooksurprised，sheadded，"Yousee，onewouldnotlikeMrsJamiesontothinkthatanythingshecoulddo，orsay，wasofconsequenceenoughtogiveoffence；itwouldbeakindoflettingdownofourselves，thatI，forone，shouldnotlike。ItwouldbetooflatteringtoMrsJamiesonifweallowedhertosupposethatwhatshehadsaidaffectedusaweek，naytendaysafterwards。"
"Well！Isupposeitiswrongtobehurtandannoyedsolongaboutanything；and，perhaps，afterall，shedidnotmeantovexus。ButImustsay，IcouldnothavebroughtmyselftosaythethingsMrsJamiesondidaboutournotcalling。Ireallydon’tthinkIshallgo。"
"Oh，come！MissMatty，youmustgo；youknowourfriendMrsJamiesonismuchmorephlegmaticthanmostpeople，anddoesnotenterintothelittledelicaciesoffeelingwhichyoupossessinsoremarkableadegree。"
"Ithoughtyoupossessedthem，too，thatdayMrsJamiesoncalledtotellusnottogo，"saidMissMattyinnocently。
ButMissPole，inadditiontoherdelicaciesoffeeling，possessedaverysmartcap，whichshewasanxioustoshowtoanadmiringworld；andsosheseemedtoforgetallherangrywordsutterednotafortnightbefore，andtobereadytoactonwhatshecalledthegreatChristianprincipleof"Forgiveandforget"；andshelectureddearMissMattysolongonthisheadthatsheabsolutelyendedbyassuringheritwasherduty，asadeceasedrector’sdaughter，tobuyanewcapandgotothepartyatMrsJamieson’s。So"weweremosthappytoaccept，"insteadof"regrettingthatwewereobligedtodecline。"
TheexpenditureondressinCranfordwasprincipallyinthatonearticlereferredto。Iftheheadswereburiedinsmartnewcaps，theladieswerelikeostriches，andcarednotwhatbecameoftheirbodies。Oldgowns，whiteandvenerablecollars，anynumberofbrooches，upanddownandeverywhere（somewithdogs’eyespaintedinthem；somethatwerelikesmallpicture—frameswithmausoleumsandweeping—willowsneatlyexecutedinhairinside；some，again，withminiaturesofladiesandgentlemensweetlysmilingoutofanestofstiffmuslin），oldbroochesforapermanentornament，andnewcapstosuitthefashionoftheday—theladiesofCranfordalwaysdressedwithchasteeleganceandpropriety，asMissBarkeronceprettilyexpressedit。
Andwiththreenewcaps，andagreaterarrayofbroochesthanhadeverbeenseentogetheratonetimesinceCranfordwasatown，didMrsForrester，andMissMatty，andMissPoleappearonthatmemorableTuesdayevening。IcountedsevenbroochesmyselfonMissPole’sdress。Twowerefixednegligentlyinhercap（onewasabutterflymadeofScotchpebbles，whichavividimaginationmightbelievetobetherealinsect）；onefastenedhernetneckerchief；
onehercollar；oneornamentedthefrontofhergown，midwaybetweenherthroatandwaist；andanotheradornedthepointofherstomacher。WheretheseventhwasIhaveforgotten，butitwassomewhereabouther，Iamsure。
ButIamgettingontoofast，indescribingthedressesofthecompany。IshouldfirstrelatethegatheringonthewaytoMrsJamieson’s。Thatladylivedinalargehousejustoutsidethetown。Aroadwhichhadknownwhatitwastobeastreetranrightbeforethehouse，whichopenedoutuponitwithoutanyinterveninggardenorcourt。Whateverthesunwasabout，henevershoneonthefrontofthathouse。Tobesure，theliving—roomswereattheback，lookingontoapleasantgarden；thefrontwindowsonlybelongedtokitchensandhousekeepers’rooms，andpantries，andinoneofthemMrMullinerwasreportedtosit。Indeed，lookingaskance，weoftensawthebackofaheadcoveredwithhairpowder，whichalsoextendeditselfoverhiscoat—collardowntohisverywaist；andthisimposingbackwasalwaysengagedinreadingtheST
JAMES’SCHRONICLE，openedwide，which，insomedegree，accountedforthelengthoftimethesaidnewspaperwasinreachingus—
equalsubscriberswithMrsJamieson，though，inrightofherhonourableness，shealwayshadthereadingofitfirst。ThisveryTuesday，thedelayinforwardingthelastnumberhadbeenparticularlyaggravating；justwhenbothMissPoleandMissMatty，theformermoreespecially，hadbeenwantingtoseeit，inordertocoachuptheCourtnewsreadyfortheevening’sinterviewwitharistocracy。MissPoletoldusshehadabsolutelytakentimebytheforelock，andbeendressedbyfiveo’clock，inordertobereadyiftheSTJAMES’SCHRONICLEshouldcomeinatthelastmoment—theverySTJAMES’SCHRONICLEwhichthepowderedheadwastranquillyandcomposedlyreadingaswepassedtheaccustomedwindowthisevening。
"Theimpudenceoftheman！"saidMissPole，inalowindignantwhisper。"Ishouldliketoaskhimwhetherhismistresspaysherquarter—shareforhisexclusiveuse。"
Welookedatherinadmirationofthecourageofherthought；forMrMullinerwasanobjectofgreatawetoallofus。HeseemednevertohaveforgottenhiscondescensionincomingtoliveatCranford。MissJenkyns，attimes，hadstoodforthastheundauntedchampionofhersex，andspokentohimontermsofequality；butevenMissJenkynscouldgetnohigher。Inhispleasantestandmostgraciousmoodshelookedlikeasulkycockatoo。Hedidnotspeakexceptingruffmonosyllables。Hewouldwaitinthehallwhenwebeggedhimnottowait，andthenlookdeeplyoffendedbecausewehadkepthimthere，while，withtrembling，hastyhandswepreparedourselvesforappearingincompany。
MissPoleventuredonasmalljokeaswewentupstairs，intended，thoughaddressedtous，toaffordMrMullinersomeslightamusement。Weallsmiled，inordertoseemasifwefeltatourease，andtimidlylookedforMrMulliner’ssympathy。Notamuscleofthatwoodenfacehadrelaxed；andweweregraveinaninstant。
MrsJamieson’sdrawing—roomwascheerful；theeveningsuncamestreamingintoit，andthelargesquarewindowwasclusteredroundwithflowers。Thefurniturewaswhiteandgold；notthelaterstyle，LouisQuatorze，Ithinktheycallit，allshellsandtwirls；
no，MrsJamieson’schairsandtableshadnotacurveorbendaboutthem。Thechairandtablelegsdiminishedastheynearedtheground，andwerestraightandsquareinalltheircorners。Thechairswerealla—rowagainstthewalls，withtheexceptionoffourorfivewhichstoodinacircleroundthefire。Theywererailedwithwhitebarsacrossthebackandknobbedwithgold；neithertherailingsnortheknobsinvitedtoease。Therewasajapannedtabledevotedtoliterature，onwhichlayaBible，aPeerage，andaPrayer—Book。TherewasanothersquarePembroketablededicatedtotheFineArts，onwhichwereakaleidoscope，conversation—cards，puzzle—cards（tiedtogethertoaninterminablelengthwithfadedpinksatinribbon），andaboxpaintedinfondimitationofthedrawingswhichdecoratetea—chests。Carlolayontheworsted—
workedrug，andungraciouslybarkedatusasweentered。MrsJamiesonstoodup，givinguseachatorpidsmileofwelcome，andlookinghelplesslybeyondusatMrMulliner，asifshehopedhewouldplaceusinchairs，for，ifhedidnot，shenevercould。I
supposehethoughtwecouldfindourwaytothecircleroundthefire，whichremindedmeofStonehenge，Idon’tknowwhy。LadyGlenmirecametotherescueofourhostess，and，somehoworother，wefoundourselvesforthefirsttimeplacedagreeably，andnotformally，inMrsJamieson’shouse。LadyGlenmire，nowwehadtimetolookather，provedtobeabrightlittlewomanofmiddleage，whohadbeenveryprettyinthedaysofheryouth，andwhowasevenyetverypleasant—looking。IsawMissPoleappraisingherdressinthefirstfiveminutes，andItakeherwordwhenshesaidthenextday—
"Mydear！tenpoundswouldhavepurchasedeverystitchshehadon—
laceandall。"
Itwaspleasanttosuspectthatapeeresscouldbepoor，andpartlyreconciledustothefactthatherhusbandhadneversatintheHouseofLords；which，whenwefirstheardofit，seemedakindofswindlingusoutofourprospectsonfalsepretences；asortof"A
LordandNoLord"business。
Wewereallverysilentatfirst。Wewerethinkingwhatwecouldtalkabout，thatshouldbehighenoughtointerestMyLady。Therehadbeenariseinthepriceofsugar，which，aspreserving—timewasnear，wasapieceofintelligencetoallourhouse—keepinghearts，andwouldhavebeenthenaturaltopicifLadyGlenmirehadnotbeenby。Butwewerenotsureifthepeerageatepreserves—
muchlessknewhowtheyweremade。Atlast，MissPole，whohadalwaysagreatdealofcourageandSAVOIRFAIRE，spoketoLadyGlenmire，whoonherparthadseemedjustasmuchpuzzledtoknowhowtobreakthesilenceaswewere。
"HasyourladyshipbeentoCourtlately？"askedshe；andthengavealittleglanceroundatus，halftimidandhalftriumphant，asmuchastosay，"SeehowjudiciouslyIhavechosenasubjectbefittingtherankofthestranger。"
"Ineverwasthereinmylife，"saidLadyGlenmire，withabroadScotchaccent，butinaverysweetvoice。Andthen，asifshehadbeentooabrupt，sheadded："WeveryseldomwenttoLondon—onlytwice，infact，duringallmymarriedlife；andbeforeIwasmarriedmyfatherhadfartoolargeafamily"（fifthdaughterofMrCampbellwasinallourminds，Iamsure）"totakeusoftenfromourhome，eventoEdinburgh。Ye’llhavebeeninEdinburgh，maybe？"
saidshe，suddenlybrighteningupwiththehopeofacommoninterest。Wehadnoneofusbeenthere；butMissPolehadanunclewhooncehadpassedanightthere，whichwasverypleasant。
MrsJamieson，meanwhile，wasabsorbedinwonderwhyMrMullinerdidnotbringthetea；andatlengththewonderoozedoutofhermouth。
"Ihadbetterringthebell，mydear，hadnotI？"saidLadyGlenmirebriskly。
"No—Ithinknot—Mullinerdoesnotliketobehurried。"
Weshouldhavelikedourtea，forwedinedatanearlierhourthanMrsJamieson。IsuspectMrMullinerhadtofinishtheSTJAMES’S
CHRONICLEbeforehechosetotroublehimselfabouttea。Hismistressfidgetedandfidgeted，andkeptsaying，Ican’tthinkwhyMullinerdoesnotbringtea。Ican’tthinkwhathecanbeabout。"
AndLadyGlenmireatlastgrewquiteimpatient，butitwasaprettykindofimpatienceafterall；andsherangthebellrathersharply，onreceivingahalf—permissionfromhersister—in—lawtodoso。MrMullinerappearedindignifiedsurprise。"Oh！"saidMrsJamieson，"LadyGlenmirerangthebell；Ibelieveitwasfortea。"
Inafewminutesteawasbrought。Verydelicatewasthechina，veryoldtheplate，verythinthebreadandbutter，andverysmallthelumpsofsugar。SugarwasevidentlyMrsJamieson’sfavouriteeconomy。Iquestionifthelittlefiligreesugar—tongs，madesomethinglikescissors，couldhaveopenedthemselveswideenoughtotakeupanhonest，vulgargood—sizedpiece；andwhenItriedtoseizetwolittleminnikinpiecesatonce，soasnottobedetectedintoomanyreturnstothesugar—basin，theyabsolutelydroppedone，withalittlesharpclatter，quiteinamaliciousandunnaturalmanner。Butbeforethishappenedwehadhadaslightdisappointment。Inthelittlesilverjugwascream，inthelargeronewasmilk。AssoonasMrMullinercamein，Carlobegantobeg，whichwasathingourmannersforebadeustodo，thoughIamsurewewerejustashungry；andMrsJamiesonsaidshewascertainwewouldexcuseherifshegaveherpoordumbCarlohisteafirst。
Sheaccordinglymixedasaucerfulforhim，andputitdownforhimtolap；andthenshetoldushowintelligentandsensiblethedearlittlefellowwas；heknewcreamquitewell，andconstantlyrefusedteawithonlymilkinit：sothemilkwasleftforus；butwesilentlythoughtwewerequiteasintelligentandsensibleasCarlo，andfeltasifinsultwereaddedtoinjurywhenwewerecalledupontoadmirethegratitudeevincedbyhiswagginghistailforthecreamwhichshouldhavebeenours。
Afterteawethaweddownintocommon—lifesubjects。WewerethankfultoLadyGlenmireforhavingproposedsomemorebreadandbutter，andthismutualwantmadeusbetteracquaintedwithherthanweshouldeverhavebeenwithtalkingabouttheCourt，thoughMissPoledidsayshehadhopedtoknowhowthedearQueenwasfromsomeonewhohadseenher。
Thefriendshipbegunoverbreadandbutterextendedontocards。
LadyGlenmireplayedPreferencetoadmiration，andwasacompleteauthorityastoOmbreandQuadrille。EvenMissPolequiteforgottosay"mylady，"and"yourladyship，"andsaid"Basto！ma’am"；
"youhaveSpadille，Ibelieve，"justasquietlyasifwehadneverheldthegreatCranfordParliamentonthesubjectofthepropermodeofaddressingapeeress。
Asaproofofhowthoroughlywehadforgottenthatwewereinthepresenceofonewhomighthavesatdowntoteawithacoronet，insteadofacap，onherhead，MrsForresterrelatedacuriouslittlefacttoLadyGlenmire—ananecdoteknowntothecircleofherintimatefriends，butofwhichevenMrsJamiesonwasnotaware。
Itrelatedtosomefineoldlace，thesolerelicofbetterdays，whichLadyGlenmirewasadmiringonMrsForrester’scollar。
"Yes，"saidthatlady，"suchlacecannotbegotnowforeitherloveormoney；madebythenunsabroad，theytellme。Theysaythattheycan’tmakeitnoweventhere。Butperhapstheycan，nowthey’vepassedtheCatholicEmancipationBill。Ishouldnotwonder。But，inthemeantime，Itreasureupmylaceverymuch。I
daren’teventrustthewashingofittomymaid"（thelittlecharityschool—girlIhavenamedbefore，butwhosoundedwellas"mymaid"）。"Ialwayswashitmyself。Andonceithadanarrowescape。Ofcourse，yourladyshipknowsthatsuchlacemustneverbestarchedorironed。Somepeoplewashitinsugarandwater，andsomeincoffee，tomakeittherightyellowcolour；butImyselfhaveaverygoodreceiptforwashingitinmilk，whichstiffensitenough，andgivesitaverygoodcreamycolour。Well，ma’am，Ihadtackedittogether（andthebeautyofthisfinelaceisthat，whenitiswet，itgoesintoaverylittlespace），andputittosoakinmilk，when，unfortunately，Ilefttheroom；onmyreturn，Ifoundpussyonthetable，lookingverylikeathief，butgulpingveryuncomfortably，asifshewashalf—chockedwithsomethingshewantedtoswallowandcouldnot。And，wouldyoubelieveit？AtfirstI
pitiedher，andsaid’Poorpussy！poorpussy！’till，allatonce，I
lookedandsawthecupofmilkempty—cleanedout！’Younaughtycat！’saidI，andIbelieveIwasprovokedenoughtogiveheraslap，whichdidnogood，butonlyhelpedthelacedown—justasoneslapsachokingchildontheback。Icouldhavecried，Iwassovexed；butIdeterminedIwouldnotgivethelaceupwithoutastruggleforit。Ihopedthelacemightdisagreewithher，atanyrate；butitwouldhavebeentoomuchforJob，ifhehadseen，asI
did，thatcatcomein，quiteplacidandpurring，notaquarterofanhourafter，andalmostexpectingtobestroked。’No，pussy！’
saidI，’ifyouhaveanyconscienceyououghtnottoexpectthat！’
Andthenathoughtstruckme；andIrangthebellformymaid，andsenthertoMrHoggins，withmycompliments，andwouldhebekindenoughtolendmeoneofhistop—bootsforanhour？Ididnotthinktherewasanythingoddinthemessage；butJennysaidtheyoungmeninthesurgerylaughedasiftheywouldbeillatmywantingatop—boot。Whenitcame，JennyandIputpussyin，withherforefeetstraightdown，sothattheywerefastened，andcouldnotscratch，andwegaveherateaspoonfulofcurrent—jellyinwhich（yourladyshipmustexcuseme）Ihadmixedsometartaremetic。IshallneverforgethowanxiousIwasforthenexthalf—
hour。Itookpussytomyownroom，andspreadacleantowelonthefloor。Icouldhavekissedherwhenshereturnedthelacetosight，verymuchasithadgonedown。Jennyhadboilingwaterready，andwesoakeditandsoakedit，andspreaditonalavender—
bushinthesunbeforeIcouldtouchitagain，eventoputitinmilk。Butnowyourladyshipwouldneverguessthatithadbeeninpussy’sinside。"
Wefoundout，inthecourseoftheevening，thatLadyGlenmirewasgoingtopayMrsJamiesonalongvisit，asshehadgivenupherapartmentsinEdinburgh，andhadnotiestotakeherbackthereinahurry。Onthewhole，wewererathergladtohearthis，forshehadmadeapleasantimpressionuponus；anditwasalsoverycomfortabletofind，fromthingswhichdroppedoutinthecourseofconversation，that，inadditiontomanyothergenteelqualities，shewasfarremovedfromthe"vulgarityofwealth。"
"Don’tyoufinditveryunpleasantwalking？"askedMrsJamieson，asourrespectiveservantswereannounced。ItwasaprettyregularquestionfromMrsJamieson，whohadherowncarriageinthecoach—
house，andalwayswentoutinasedan—chairtotheveryshortestdistances。Theanswerswerenearlyasmuchamatterofcourse。
"Ohdear，no！itissopleasantandstillatnight！""Sucharefreshmentaftertheexcitementofaparty！""Thestarsaresobeautiful！"ThislastwasfromMissMatty。
"Areyoufondofastronomy？"LadyGlenmireasked。
"Notvery，"repliedMissMatty，ratherconfusedatthemomenttorememberwhichwasastronomyandwhichwasastrology—buttheanswerwastrueundereithercircumstance，forsheread，andwasslightlyalarmedatFrancisMoore’sastrologicalpredictions；and，astoastronomy，inaprivateandconfidentialconversation，shehadtoldmeshenevercouldbelievethattheearthwasmovingconstantly，andthatshewouldnotbelieveitifshecould，itmadeherfeelsotiredanddizzywhenevershethoughtaboutit。
Inourpattenswepickedourwayhomewithextracarethatnight，sorefinedanddelicatewereourperceptionsafterdrinkingteawith"mylady。"
CHAPTERIX—SIGNORBRUNONI
SOONaftertheeventsofwhichIgaveanaccountinmylastpaper，Iwassummonedhomebymyfather’sillness；andforatimeI
forgot，inanxietyabouthim，towonderhowmydearfriendsatCranfordweregettingon，orhowLadyGlenmirecouldreconcileherselftothedulnessofthelongvisitwhichshewasstillpayingtohersister—in—law，MrsJamieson。WhenmyfathergrewalittlestrongerIaccompaniedhimtotheseaside，sothataltogetherI
seemedbanishedfromCranford，andwasdeprivedoftheopportunityofhearinganychanceintelligenceofthedearlittletownforthegreaterpartofthatyear。
LateinNovember—whenwehadreturnedhomeagain，andmyfatherwasoncemoreingoodhealth—IreceivedaletterfromMissMatty；
andaverymysteriousletteritwas。Shebeganmanysentenceswithoutendingthem，runningthemoneintoanother，inmuchthesameconfusedsortofwayinwhichwrittenwordsruntogetheronblotting—paper。AllIcouldmakeoutwasthat，ifmyfatherwasbetter（whichshehopedhewas），andwouldtakewarningandwearagreat—coatfromMichaelmastoLady—day，ifturbanswereinfashion，couldItellher？SuchapieceofgaietywasgoingtohappenashadnotbeenseenorknownofsinceWombwell’slionscame，whenoneofthematealittlechild’sarm；andshewas，perhaps，toooldtocareaboutdress，butanewcapshemusthave；and，havingheardthatturbanswereworn，andsomeofthecountyfamilieslikelytocome，shewouldliketolooktidy，ifIwouldbringheracapfromthemillinerIemployed；andoh，dear！howcarelessofhertoforgetthatshewrotetobegIwouldcomeandpayheravisitnextTuesday；whenshehopedtohavesomethingtooffermeinthewayofamusement，whichshewouldnotnowmoreparticularlydescribe，onlysea—greenwasherfavouritecolour。Sosheendedherletter；butinaP。S。sheadded，shethoughtshemightaswelltellmewhatwasthepeculiarattractiontoCranfordjustnow；SignorBrunoniwasgoingtoexhibithiswonderfulmagicintheCranfordAssemblyRoomsonWednesdayandFridayeveninginthefollowingweek。
IwasverygladtoaccepttheinvitationfrommydearMissMatty，independentlyoftheconjuror，andmostparticularlyanxioustopreventherfromdisfiguringhersmall，gentle，mouseyfacewithagreatSaracen’sheadturban；andaccordingly，Iboughtherapretty，neat，middle—agedcap，which，however，wasratheradisappointmenttoherwhen，onmyarrival，shefollowedmeintomybedroom，ostensiblytopokethefire，butinreality，Idobelieve，toseeifthesea—greenturbanwasnotinsidethecap—boxwithwhichIhadtravelled。ItwasinvainthatItwirledthecaproundonmyhandtoexhibitbackandsidefronts：herhearthadbeensetuponaturban，andallshecoulddowastosay，withresignationinherlookandvoice—
"Iamsureyoudidyourbest，mydear。ItisjustlikethecapsalltheladiesinCranfordarewearing，andtheyhavehadtheirsforayear，Idaresay。Ishouldhavelikedsomethingnewer，I
confess—somethingmoreliketheturbansMissBettyBarkertellsmeQueenAdelaidewears；butitisverypretty，mydear。AndI
daresaylavenderwillwearbetterthansea—green。Well，afterall，whatisdress，thatweshouldcareanythingaboutit？You’lltellmeifyouwantanything，mydear。Hereisthebell。I
supposeturbanshavenotgotdowntoDrumbleyet？"
Sosaying，thedearoldladygentlybemoanedherselfoutoftheroom，leavingmetodressfortheevening，when，assheinformedme，sheexpectedMissPoleandMrsForrester，andshehopedI
shouldnotfeelmyselftoomuchtiredtojointheparty。OfcourseIshouldnot；andImadesomehastetounpackandarrangemydress；
but，withallmyspeed，IheardthearrivalsandthebuzzofconversationinthenextroombeforeIwasready。JustasIopenedthedoor，Icaughtthewords，"IwasfoolishtoexpectanythingverygenteeloutoftheDrumbleshops；poorgirl！shedidherbest，I’venodoubt。"But，forallthat，IhadratherthatsheblamedDrumbleandmethandisfiguredherselfwithaturban。
MissPolewasalwaystheperson，inthetrioofCranfordladiesnowassembled，tohavehadadventures。Shewasinthehabitofspendingthemorninginramblingfromshoptoshop，nottopurchaseanything（exceptanoccasionalreelofcottonorapieceoftape），buttoseethenewarticlesandreportuponthem，andtocollectallthestraypiecesofintelligenceinthetown。Shehadaway，too，ofdemurelypoppinghitherandthitherintoallsortsofplacestogratifyhercuriosityonanypoint—awaywhich，ifshehadnotlookedsoverygenteelandprim，mighthavebeenconsideredimpertinent。Andnow，bytheexpressivewayinwhichsheclearedherthroat，andwaitedforallminorsubjects（suchascapsandturbans）tobeclearedoffthecourse，weknewshehadsomethingveryparticulartorelate，whentheduepausecame—andIdefyanypeoplepossessedofcommonmodestytokeepupaconversationlong，whereoneamongthemsitsupaloftinsilence，lookingdownuponallthethingstheychancetosayastrivialandcontemptiblecomparedtowhattheycoulddisclose，ifproperlyentreated。MissPolebegan—
"AsIwassteppingoutofGordon’sshopto—day，Ichancedtogointothe’George’（myBettyhasasecond—cousinwhoischambermaidthere，andIthoughtBettywouldliketohearhowshewas），and，notseeinganyoneabout，Istrolledupthestaircase，andfoundmyselfinthepassageleadingtotheAssemblyRoom（youandI
remembertheAssemblyRoom，Iamsure，MissMatty！andtheminuetsdelacour！）；soIwenton，notthinkingofwhatIwasabout，when，allatonce，IperceivedthatIwasinthemiddleofthepreparationsforto—morrownight—theroombeingdividedwithgreatclothes—maids，overwhichCrosby’smenweretackingredflannel；verydarkandodditseemed；itquitebewilderedme，andI
wasgoingonbehindthescreens，inmyabsenceofmind，whenagentleman（quitethegentleman，Icanassureyou）steppedforwardsandaskedifIhadanybusinesshecouldarrangeforme。HespokesuchprettybrokenEnglish，IcouldnothelpthinkingofThaddeusofWarsaw，andtheHungarianBrothers，andSantoSebastiani；andwhileIwasbusypicturinghispastlifetomyself，hehadbowedmeoutoftheroom。Butwaitaminute！Youhavenotheardhalfmystoryyet！Iwasgoingdownstairs，whenwhoshouldImeetbutBetty’ssecond—cousin。So，ofcourse，IstoppedtospeaktoherforBetty’ssake；andshetoldmethatIhadreallyseentheconjuror—thegentlemanwhospokebrokenEnglishwasSignorBrunonihimself。Justatthismomenthepassedusonthestairs，makingsuchagracefulbow！inreplytowhichIdroppedacurtsey—
allforeignershavesuchpolitemanners，onecatchessomethingofit。Butwhenhehadgonedownstairs，IbethoughtmethatIhaddroppedmygloveintheAssemblyRoom（itwassafeinmymuffallthetime，butIneverfoundittillafterwards）；soIwentback，and，justasIwascreepingupthepassageleftononesideofthegreatscreenthatgoesnearlyacrosstheroom，whoshouldIseebuttheverysamegentlemanthathadmetmebefore，andpassedmeonthestairs，comingnowforwardsfromtheinnerpartoftheroom，towhichthereisnoentrance—youremember，MissMatty—andjustrepeating，inhisprettybrokenEnglish，theinquiryifIhadanybusinessthere—Idon’tmeanthatheputitquitesobluntly，butheseemedverydeterminedthatIshouldnotpassthescreen—so，ofcourse，Iexplainedaboutmyglove，which，curiouslyenough，I
foundatthatverymoment。"
MissPole，then，hadseentheconjuror—thereal，liveconjuror！
andnumerouswerethequestionsweallaskedher。"Hadheabeard？""Washeyoung，orold？""Fair，ordark？""Didhelook"—
（unabletoshapemyquestionprudently，Iputitinanotherform）—
"Howdidhelook？"Inshort，MissPolewastheheroineoftheevening，owingtohermorning’sencounter。Ifshewasnottherose（thatistosaytheconjuror）shehadbeennearit。
Conjuration，sleightofhand，magic，witchcraft，werethesubjectsoftheevening。MissPolewasslightlysceptical，andinclinedtothinktheremightbeascientificsolutionfoundforeventheproceedingsoftheWitchofEndor。MrsForresterbelievedeverything，fromghoststodeath—watches。MissMattyrangedbetweenthetwo—alwaysconvincedbythelastspeaker。IthinkshewasnaturallymoreinclinedtoMrsForrester’sside，butadesireofprovingherselfaworthysistertoMissJenkynskeptherequallybalanced—MissJenkyns，whowouldneverallowaservanttocallthelittlerollsoftallowthatformedthemselvesroundcandles"winding—sheets，"butinsistedontheirbeingspokenofas"roley—poleys！"Asisterofherstobesuperstitious！Itwouldneverdo。
Aftertea，Iwasdespatcheddownstairsintothedining—parlourforthatvolumeoftheoldEncyclopaediawhichcontainedthenounsbeginningwithC，inorderthatMissPolemightprimeherselfwithscientificexplanationsforthetricksofthefollowingevening。
ItspoiltthepoolatPreferencewhichMissMattyandMrsForresterhadbeenlookingforwardto，forMissPolebecamesomuchabsorbedinhersubject，andtheplatesbywhichitwasillustrated，thatwefeltitwouldbecrueltodisturbherotherwisethanbyoneortwowell—timedyawns，whichIthrewinnowandthen，forIwasreallytouchedbythemeekwayinwhichthetwoladieswerebearingtheirdisappointment。ButMissPoleonlyreadthemorezealously，impartingtousnomoreinformationthanthis—
"Ah！Isee；Icomprehendperfectly。Arepresentstheball。PutA
betweenBandD—no！betweenCandF，andturnthesecondjointofthethirdfingerofyourlefthandoverthewristofyourrightH。
Veryclearindeed！MydearMrsForrester，conjuringandwitchcraftisamereaffairofthealphabet。Doletmereadyouthisonepassage？"
MrsForresterimploredMissPoletospareher，saying，fromachildupwards，shenevercouldunderstandbeingreadaloudto；andI
droppedthepackofcards，whichIhadbeenshufflingveryaudibly，andbythisdiscreetmovementIobligedMissPoletoperceivethatPreferencewastohavebeentheorderoftheevening，andtopropose，ratherunwillingly，thatthepoolshouldcommence。Thepleasantbrightnessthatstoleovertheothertwoladies’facesonthis！MissMattyhadoneortwotwingesofself—reproachforhavinginterruptedMissPoleinherstudies：anddidnotrememberhercardswell，orgiveherfullattentiontothegame，untilshehadsoothedherconsciencebyofferingtolendthevolumeoftheEncyclopaediatoMissPole，whoaccepteditthankfully，andsaidBettyshouldtakeithomewhenshecamewiththelantern。
Thenexteveningwewereallinalittlegentleflutterattheideaofthegaietybeforeus。MissMattywentuptodressbetimes，andhurriedmeuntilIwasready，whenwefoundwehadanhour—and—a—
halftowaitbeforethe"doorsopenedatsevenprecisely。"Andwehadonlytwentyyardstogo！However，asMissMattysaid，itwouldnotdotogettoomuchabsorbedinanything，andforgetthetime；
soshethoughtwehadbettersitquietly，withoutlightingthecandles，tillfiveminutestoseven。SoMissMattydozed，andI
knitted。
Atlengthwesetoff；andatthedoorunderthecarriage—wayatthe"George，"wemetMrsForresterandMissPole：thelatterwasdiscussingthesubjectoftheeveningwithmorevehemencethanever，andthrowingX’sandB’satourheadslikehailstones。Shehadevencopiedoneortwoofthe"receipts"—asshecalledthem—
forthedifferenttricks，onbacksofletters，readytoexplainandtodetectSignorBrunoni’sarts。
Wewentintothecloak—roomadjoiningtheAssemblyRoom；MissMattygaveasighortwotoherdepartedyouth，andtheremembranceofthelasttimeshehadbeenthere，assheadjustedherprettynewcapbeforethestrange，quaintoldmirrorinthecloak—room。TheAssemblyRoomhadbeenaddedtotheinn，aboutahundredyearsbefore，bythedifferentcountyfamilies，whomettogetherthereonceamonthduringthewintertodanceandplayatcards。ManyacountybeautyhadfirstswungthroughtheminuetthatsheafterwardsdancedbeforeQueenCharlotteinthisveryroom。ItwassaidthatoneoftheGunningshadgracedtheapartmentwithherbeauty；itwascertainthatarichandbeautifulwidow，LadyWilliams，hadherebeensmittenwiththenoblefigureofayoungartist，whowasstayingwithsomefamilyintheneighbourhoodforprofessionalpurposes，andaccompaniedhispatronstotheCranfordAssembly。AndaprettybargainpoorLadyWilliamshadofherhandsomehusband，ifalltalesweretrue。Now，nobeautyblushedanddimpledalongthesidesoftheCranfordAssemblyRoom；nohandsomeartistwonheartsbyhisbow，CHAPEAUBRASinhand；theoldroomwasdingy；thesalmon—colouredpainthadfadedintoadrab；greatpiecesofplasterhadchippedofffromthefinewreathsandfestoonsonitswalls；butstillamouldyodourofaristocracylingeredabouttheplace，andadustyrecollectionofthedaysthatweregonemadeMissMattyandMrsForresterbridleupastheyentered，andwalkmincinglyuptheroom，asiftherewereanumberofgenteelobservers，insteadoftwolittleboyswithastickoftoffeebetweenthemwithwhichtobeguilethetime。
Westoppedshortatthesecondfrontrow；Icouldhardlyunderstandwhy，untilIheardMissPoleaskastraywaiterifanyofthecountyfamilieswereexpected；andwhenheshookhishead，andbelievednot，MrsForresterandMissMattymovedforwards，andourpartyrepresentedaconversationalsquare。ThefrontrowwassoonaugmentedandenrichedbyLadyGlenmireandMrsJamieson。Wesixoccupiedthetwofrontrows，andouraristocraticseclusionwasrespectedbythegroupsofshop—keeperswhostrayedinfromtimetotimeandhuddledtogetheronthebackbenches。AtleastI
conjecturedso，fromthenoisetheymade，andthesonorousbumpstheygaveinsittingdown；butwhen，inwearinessoftheobstinategreencurtainthatwouldnotdrawup，butwouldstareatmewithtwooddeyes，seenthroughholes，asintheoldtapestrystory，I
wouldfainhavelookedroundatthemerrychatteringpeoplebehindme，MissPoleclutchedmyarm，andbeggedmenottoturn，for"itwasnotthething。"What"thething"was，Inevercouldfindout，butitmusthavebeensomethingeminentlydullandtiresome。
However，weallsateyesright，squarefront，gazingatthetantalisingcurtain，andhardlyspeakingintelligibly，weweresoafraidofbeingcaughtinthevulgarityofmakinganynoiseinaplaceofpublicamusement。MrsJamiesonwasthemostfortunate，forshefellasleep。
Atlengththeeyesdisappeared—thecurtainquivered—onesidewentupbeforetheother，whichstuckfast；itwasdroppedagain，and，withafresheffort，andavigorouspullfromsomeunseenhand，itflewup，revealingtooursightamagnificentgentlemanintheTurkishcostume，seatedbeforealittletable，gazingatus（I
shouldhavesaidwiththesameeyesthatIhadlastseenthroughtheholeinthecurtain）withcalmandcondescendingdignity，"likeabeingofanothersphere，"asIheardasentimentalvoiceejaculatebehindme。
"That’snotSignorBrunoni！"saidMissPoledecidedly；andsoaudiblythatIamsureheheard，forheglanceddownoverhisflowingbeardatourpartywithanairofmutereproach。"SignorBrunonihadnobeard—butperhapshe’llcomesoon。"Soshelulledherselfintopatience。Meanwhile，MissMattyhadreconnoitredthroughhereye—glass，wipedit，andlookedagain。Thensheturnedround，andsaidtome，inakind，mild，sorrowfultone—
"Yousee，mydear，turbansAREworn。"
Butwehadnotimeformoreconversation。TheGrandTurk，asMissPolechosetocallhim，aroseandannouncedhimselfasSignorBrunoni。
"Idon’tbelievehim！"exclaimedMissPole，inadefiantmanner。
Helookedatheragain，withthesamedignifiedupbraidinginhiscountenance。"Idon’t！"sherepeatedmorepositivelythanever。
"SignorBrunonihadnotgotthatmuffysortofthingabouthischin，butlookedlikeaclose—shavedChristiangentleman。"
MissPole’senergeticspeecheshadthegoodeffectofwakeningupMrsJamieson，whoopenedhereyeswide，insignofthedeepestattention—aproceedingwhichsilencedMissPoleandencouragedtheGrandTurktoproceed，whichhedidinverybrokenEnglish—sobrokenthattherewasnocohesionbetweenthepartsofhissentences；afactwhichhehimselfperceivedatlast，andsoleftoffspeakingandproceededtoaction。
NowweWEREastonished。HowhedidhistricksIcouldnotimagine；
no，notevenwhenMissPolepulledoutherpiecesofpaperandbeganreadingaloud—oratleastinaveryaudiblewhisper—theseparate"receipts"forthemostcommonofhistricks。IfeverI
sawamanfrownandlookenraged，IsawtheGrandTurkfrownatMissPole；but，asshesaid，whatcouldbeexpectedbutunchristianlooksfromaMussulman？IfMissPoleweresceptical，andmoreengrossedwithherreceiptsanddiagramsthanwithhistricks，MissMattyandMrsForresterweremystifiedandperplexedtothehighestdegree。MrsJamiesonkepttakingherspectaclesoffandwipingthem，asifshethoughtitwassomethingdefectiveinthemwhichmadethelegerdemain；andLadyGlenmire，whohadseenmanycurioussightsinEdinburgh，wasverymuchstruckwiththetricks，andwouldnotatallagreewithMissPole，whodeclaredthatanybodycoulddothemwithalittlepractice，andthatshewould，herself，undertaketodoallhedid，withtwohoursgiventostudytheEncyclopaediaandmakeherthirdfingerflexible。
AtlastMissMattyandMrsForresterbecameperfectlyawestricken。
Theywhisperedtogether。Isatjustbehindthem，soIcouldnothelphearingwhattheyweresaying。MissMattyaskedMrsForrester"ifshethoughtitwasquiterighttohavecometoseesuchthings？
Shecouldnothelpfearingtheywerelendingencouragementtosomethingthatwasnotquite"—Alittleshakeoftheheadfilleduptheblank。MrsForresterreplied，thatthesamethoughthadcrossedhermind；shetoowasfeelingveryuncomfortable，itwassoverystrange。Shewasquitecertainthatitwasherpocket—
handkerchiefwhichwasinthatloafjustnow；andithadbeeninherownhandnotfiveminutesbefore。Shewonderedwhohadfurnishedthebread？ShewassureitcouldnotbeDakin，becausehewasthechurchwarden。SuddenlyMissMattyhalf—turnedtowardsme—
"Willyoulook，mydear—youareastrangerinthetown，anditwon’tgiverisetounpleasantreports—willyoujustlookroundandseeiftherectorishere？Ifheis，IthinkwemayconcludethatthiswonderfulmanissanctionedbytheChurch，andthatwillbeagreatrelieftomymind。
Ilooked，andIsawthetall，thin，dry，dustyrector，sittingsurroundedbyNationalSchoolboys，guardedbytroopsofhisownsexfromanyapproachofthemanyCranfordspinsters。Hiskindfacewasallagapewithbroadsmiles，andtheboysaroundhimwereinchinksoflaughing。ItoldMissMattythattheChurchwassmilingapproval，whichsethermindatease。
IhavenevernamedMrHayter，therector，becauseI，asawell—to—
doandhappyyoungwoman，nevercameincontactwithhim。Hewasanoldbachelor，butasafraidofmatrimonialreportsgettingabroadabouthimasanygirlofeighteen：andhewouldrushintoashopordivedownanentry，soonerthanencounteranyoftheCranfordladiesinthestreet；and，asforthePreferenceparties，Ididnotwonderathisnotacceptinginvitationstothem。Totellthetruth，IalwayssuspectedMissPoleofhavinggivenveryvigorouschasetoMrHayterwhenhefirstcametoCranford；andnottheless，becausenowsheappearedtosharesovividlyinhisdreadlesthernameshouldeverbecoupledwithhis。Hefoundallhisinterestsamongthepoorandhelpless；hehadtreatedtheNationalSchoolboysthisverynighttotheperformance；andvirtuewasforonceitsownreward，fortheyguardedhimrightandleft，andclungroundhimasifhehadbeenthequeen—beeandtheytheswarm。Hefeltsosafeintheirenvironmentthathecouldevenaffordtogiveourpartyabowaswefiledout。MissPoleignoredhispresence，andpretendedtobeabsorbedinconvincingusthatwehadbeencheated，andhadnotseenSignorBrunoniafterall。
CHAPTERX—THEPANIC
ITHINKaseriesofcircumstancesdatedfromSignorBrunoni’svisittoCranford，whichseemedatthetimeconnectedinourmindswithhim，thoughIdon’tknowthathehadanythingreallytodowiththem。Allatonceallsortsofuncomfortablerumoursgotafloatinthetown。Therewereoneortworobberies—realBONAFIDE
robberies；menhadupbeforethemagistratesandcommittedfortrial—andthatseemedtomakeusallafraidofbeingrobbed；andforalongtime，atMissMatty’s，Iknow，weusedtomakearegularexpeditionallroundthekitchensandcellarseverynight，MissMattyleadingtheway，armedwiththepoker，Ifollowingwiththehearth—brush，andMarthacarryingtheshovelandfire—ironswithwhichtosoundthealarm；andbytheaccidentalhittingtogetherofthemsheoftenfrightenedussomuchthatweboltedourselvesup，allthreetogether，intheback—kitchen，orstore—room，orwhereverwehappenedtobe，till，whenouraffrightwasover，werecollectedourselvesandsetoutafreshwithdoublevaliance。Bydayweheardstrangestoriesfromtheshopkeepersandcottagers，ofcartsthatwentaboutinthedeadofnight，drawnbyhorsesshodwithfelt，andguardedbymenindarkclothes，goingroundthetown，nodoubtinsearchofsomeunwatchedhouseorsomeunfasteneddoor。
MissPole，whoaffectedgreatbraveryherself，wastheprincipalpersontocollectandarrangethesereportssoastomakethemassumetheirmostfearfulaspect。ButwediscoveredthatshehadbeggedoneofMrHoggins’sworn—outhatstohangupinherlobby，andwe（atleastI）haddoubtsastowhethershereallywouldenjoythelittleadventureofhavingherhousebrokeninto，assheprotestedsheshould。MissMattymadenosecretofbeinganarrantcoward，butshewentregularlythroughherhousekeeper’sdutyofinspection—onlythehourforthisbecameearlierandearlier，tillatlastwewenttheroundsathalf—pastsix，andMissMattyadjournedtobedsoonafterseven，"inordertogetthenightoverthesooner。"
Cranfordhadsolongpiqueditselfonbeinganhonestandmoraltownthatithadgrowntofancyitselftoogenteelandwell—bredtobeotherwise，andfeltthestainuponitscharacteratthistimedoubly。ButwecomfortedourselveswiththeassurancewhichwegavetoeachotherthattherobberiescouldneverhavebeencommittedbyanyCranfordperson；itmusthavebeenastrangerorstrangerswhobroughtthisdisgraceuponthetown，andoccasionedasmanyprecautionsasifwewerelivingamongtheRedIndiansortheFrench。
ThislastcomparisonofournightlystateofdefenceandfortificationwasmadebyMrsForrester，whosefatherhadservedunderGeneralBurgoyneintheAmericanwar，andwhosehusbandhadfoughttheFrenchinSpain。Sheindeedinclinedtotheideathat，insomeway，theFrenchwereconnectedwiththesmallthefts，whichwereascertainedfacts，andtheburglariesandhighwayrobberies，whichwererumours。ShehadbeendeeplyimpressedwiththeideaofFrenchspiesatsometimeinherlife；andthenotioncouldneverbefairlyeradicated，butsprangupagainfromtimetotime。Andnowhertheorywasthis：—TheCranfordpeoplerespectedthemselvestoomuch，andweretoogratefultothearistocracywhoweresokindastolivenearthetown，evertodisgracetheirbringingupbybeingdishonestorimmoral；therefore，wemustbelievethattherobberswerestrangers—ifstrangers，whynotforeigners？—ifforeigners，whosolikelyastheFrench？SignorBrunonispokebrokenEnglishlikeaFrenchman；and，thoughheworeaturbanlikeaTurk，MrsForresterhadseenaprintofMadamedeStaelwithaturbanon，andanotherofMrDenoninjustsuchadressasthatinwhichtheconjurorhadmadehisappearance，showingclearlythattheFrench，aswellastheTurks，woreturbans。TherecouldbenodoubtSignorBrunoniwasaFrenchman—aFrenchspycometodiscovertheweakandundefendedplacesofEngland，anddoubtlesshehadhisaccomplices。Forherpart，she，MrsForrester，hadalwayshadherownopinionofMissPole’sadventureatthe"GeorgeInn"—seeingtwomenwhereonlyonewasbelievedtobe。Frenchpeoplehadwaysandmeanswhich，shewasthankfultosay，theEnglishknewnothingabout；andshehadneverfeltquiteeasyinhermindaboutgoingtoseethatconjuror—itwasrathertoomuchlikeaforbiddenthing，thoughtherectorwasthere。Inshort，MrsForrestergrewmoreexcitedthanwehadeverknownherbefore，and，beinganofficer’sdaughterandwidow，welookeduptoheropinion，ofcourse。
ReallyIdonotknowhowmuchwastrueorfalseinthereportswhichflewaboutlikewildfirejustatthistime；butitseemedtomethenthattherewaseveryreasontobelievethatatMardon（asmalltownabouteightmilesfromCranford）housesandshopswereenteredbyholesmadeinthewalls，thebricksbeingsilentlycarriedawayinthedeadofthenight，andalldonesoquietlythatnosoundwasheardeitherinoroutofthehouse。MissMattygaveitupindespairwhensheheardofthis。"Whatwastheuse，"saidshe，"oflocksandbolts，andbellstothewindows，andgoingroundthehouseeverynight？Thatlasttrickwasfitforaconjuror。
NowshedidbelievethatSignorBrunoniwasatthebottomofit。"
Oneafternoon，aboutfiveo’clock，wewerestartledbyahastyknockatthedoor。MissMattybademerunandtellMarthaonnoaccounttoopenthedoortillshe（MissMatty）hadreconnoitredthroughthewindow；andshearmedherselfwithafootstooltodropdownontheheadofthevisitor，incaseheshouldshowafacecoveredwithblackcrape，ashelookedupinanswertoherinquiryofwhowasthere。ButitwasnobodybutMissPoleandBetty。Theformercameupstairs，carryingalittlehand—basket，andshewasevidentlyinastateofgreatagitation。
"Takecareofthat！"saidshetome，asIofferedtorelieveherofherbasket。"It’smyplate。Iamsurethereisaplantorobmyhouseto—night。Iamcometothrowmyselfonyourhospitality，MissMatty。Bettyisgoingtosleepwithhercousinatthe’George。’Icansituphereallnightifyouwillallowme；butmyhouseissofarfromanyneighbours，andIdon’tbelievewecouldbeheardifwescreamedeverso！"
"But，"saidMissMatty，"whathasalarmedyousomuch？Haveyouseenanymenlurkingaboutthehouse？"
"Oh，yes！"answeredMissPole。"Twoverybad—lookingmenhavegonethreetimespastthehouse，veryslowly；andanIrishbeggar—womancamenothalf—an—hourago，andallbutforcedherselfinpastBetty，sayingherchildrenwerestarving，andshemustspeaktothemistress。Yousee，shesaid’mistress，’thoughtherewasahathangingupinthehall，anditwouldhavebeenmorenaturaltohavesaid’master。’ButBettyshutthedoorinherface，andcameuptome，andwegotthespoonstogether，andsatintheparlour—windowwatchingtillwesawThomasJonesgoingfromhiswork，whenwecalledtohimandaskedhimtotakecareofusintothetown。"
WemighthavetriumphedoverMissPole，whohadprofessedsuchbraveryuntilshewasfrightened；butweweretoogladtoperceivethatshesharedintheweaknessesofhumanitytoexultoverher；
andIgaveupmyroomtoherverywillingly，andsharedMissMatty’sbedforthenight。Butbeforeweretired，thetwoladiesrummagedup，outoftherecessesoftheirmemory，suchhorridstoriesofrobberyandmurderthatIquitequakedinmyshoes。