第6章
THEFIRST-CLASSPASSENGER
AFIRST-CLASSpassengerwhohadjustdinedatthestationanddrunkalittletoomuchlaydownonthevelvet-coveredseat，stretchedhimselfoutluxuriously，andsankintoadoze。Afteranapofnomorethanfiveminutes，helookedwithoilyeyesathis_vis-a-vis，_gaveasmirk，andsaid：
"Myfatherofblessedmemoryusedtoliketohavehisheelstickledbypeasantwomenafterdinner。Iamjustlikehim，withthisdifference，thatafterdinnerIalwayslikemytongueandmybrainsgentlystimulated。SinfulmanasIam，Ilikeemptytalkonafullstomach。Willyouallowmetohaveachatwithyou？"
"Ishallbedelighted，"answeredthe_vis-a-vis。_
"Afteragooddinnerthemosttriflingsubjectissufficienttoarousedevilishlygreatthoughtsinmybrain。Forinstance，wesawjustnowneartherefreshmentbartwoyoungmen，andyouheardonecongratulatetheotheronbeingcelebrated。’I
congratulateyou，’hesaid；’youarealreadyacelebrityandarebeginningtowinfame。’Evidentlyactorsorjournalistsofmicroscopicdimensions。Buttheyarenotthepoint。Thequestionthatisoccupyingmymindatthemoment，sir，isexactlywhatistobeunderstoodbytheword_fame_or_charity_。Whatdoyouthink？Pushkincalledfameabrightpatchonaraggedgarment；weallunderstanditasPushkindoes——thatis，moreorlesssubjectively——butnoonehasyetgivenaclear，logicaldefinitionoftheword……Iwouldgiveagooddealforsuchadefinition！"
"Whydoyoufeelsuchaneedforit？"
"Yousee，ifweknewwhatfameis，themeansofattainingitmightalsoperhapsbeknowntous，"saidthefirst-classpassenger，afteramoment’sthought。Imusttellyou，sir，thatwhenIwasyoungerIstroveaftercelebritywitheveryfiberofmybeing。Tobepopularwasmycraze，sotospeak。ForthesakeofitIstudied，worked，satupatnight，neglectedmymeals。AndI
fancy，asfarasIcanjudgewithoutpartiality，Ihadallthenaturalgiftsforattainingit。Tobeginwith，Iamanengineerbyprofession。InthecourseofmylifeIhavebuiltinRussiasometwodozenmagnificentbridges，Ihavelaidaqueductsforthreetowns；IhaveworkedinRussia，inEngland，inBelgium……Secondly，Iamtheauthorofseveralspecialtreatisesinmyownline。Andthirdly，mydearsir，Ihavefromaboyhadaweaknessforchemistry。Studyingthatscienceinmyleisurehours，Idiscoveredmethodsofobtainingcertainorganicacids，sothatyouwillfindmynameinalltheforeignmanualsofchemistry。Ihavealwaysbeenintheservice，Ihaverisentothegradeofactualcivilcouncilor，andIhaveanunblemishedrecord。Iwillnotfatigueyourattentionbyenumeratingmyworksandmymerits，IwillonlysaythatIhavedonefarmorethansomecelebrities。AndyethereIaminmyoldage，Iamgettingreadyformycoffin，sotosay，andIamascelebratedasthatblackdogyonderrunningontheembankment。"
"Howcanyoutell？Perhapsyouarecelebrated。"
"H’m！Well，wewilltestitatonce。Tellme，haveyoueverheardthenameKrikunov？"
The_vis-a-vis_raisedhiseyestotheceiling，thoughtaminute，andlaughed。
"No，Ihaven’theardit，……"hesaid。
"Thatismysurname。You，amanofeducation，gettingoninyears，haveneverheardofme——aconvincingproof！ItisevidentthatinmyeffortstogainfameIhavenotdonetherightthingatall：Ididnotknowtherightwaytosettowork，and，tryingtocatchfamebythetail，gotonthewrongsideofher。"
"Whatistherightwaytosettowork？"
"Well，thedevilonlyknows！Talent，yousay？Genius？
Originality？Notabitofit，sir！……Peoplehavelivedandmadeacareersidebysidewithmewhowereworthless，trivial，andevencontemptiblecomparedwithme。Theydidnotdoone-tenthoftheworkIdid，didnotputthemselvesout，werenotdistinguishedfortheirtalents，anddidnotmakeanefforttobecelebrated，butjustlookatthem！Theirnamesarecontinuallyinthenewspapersandonmen’slips！IfyouarenottiredoflisteningIwillillustrateitbyanexample。SomeyearsagoI
builtabridgeinthetownofK。Imusttellyouthatthedullnessofthatscurvylittletownwasterrible。IfithadnotbeenforwomenandcardsIbelieveIshouldhavegoneoutofmymind。Well，it’sanoldstory：IwassoboredthatIgotintoanaffairwithasinger。Everyonewasenthusiasticabouther，thedevilonlyknowswhy；tomythinkingshewas——whatshallIsay？
——anordinary，commonplacecreature，likelotsofothers。Thehussywasempty-headed，ill-tempered，greedy，andwhat’smore，shewasafool。
"Sheateanddrankavastamount，slepttillfiveoclockintheafternoon——andIfancydidnothingelse。Shewaslookeduponasacocotte，andthatwasindeedherprofession；butwhenpeoplewantedtorefertoherinaliteraryfashion，theycalledheranactressandasinger。Iusedtobedevotedtothetheatre，andthereforethisfraudulentpretenseofbeinganactressmademefuriouslyindignant。Myyoungladyhadnottheslightestrighttocallherselfanactressorasinger。Shewasacreatureentirelydevoidoftalent，devoidoffeeling——apitifulcreatureonemaysay。AsfarasIcanjudgeshesangdisgustingly。Thewholecharmofher’art’layinherkickingupherlegsoneverysuitableoccasion，andnotbeingembarrassedwhenpeoplewalkedintoherdressing-room。Sheusuallyselectedtranslatedvaudevilles，withsinginginthem，andopportunitiesfordisportingherselfinmaleattire，intights。Infactitwas——ough！Well，Iaskyourattention。AsIremembernow，apublicceremonytookplacetocelebratetheopeningofthenewlyconstructedbridge。Therewasareligiousservice，therewerespeeches，telegrams，andsoon。I
hungaboutmycherishedcreation，youknow，allthewhileafraidthatmyheartwouldburstwiththeexcitementofanauthor。Itsanoldstoryandthere’snoneedforfalsemodesty，andsoIwilltellyouthatmybridgewasamagnificentwork！Itwasnotabridgebutapicture，aperfectdelight！Andwhowouldnothavebeenexcitedwhenthewholetowncametotheopening？’Oh，’I
thought，’nowtheeyesofallthepublicwillbeonme！WhereshallIhidemyself？’Well，Ineednothaveworriedmyself，sir——alas！Excepttheofficialpersonages，noonetooktheslightestnoticeofme。Theystoodinacrowdontheriver-bank，gazedlikesheepatthebridge，anddidnotconcernthemselvestoknowwhohadbuiltit。Anditwasfromthattime，bytheway，thatIbegantohateourestimablepublic——damnationtakethem！Well，tocontinue。Allatoncethepublicbecameagitated；
awhisperranthroughthecrowd，……asmilecameontheirfaces，theirshouldersbegantomove。’Theymusthaveseenme，’I
thought。Alikelyidea！Ilooked，andmysinger，withatrainofyoungscamps，wasmakingherwaythroughthecrowd。Theeyesofthecrowdwerehurriedlyfollowingthisprocession。Awhisperbeganinathousandvoices：’That’sso-and-so……Charming！
Bewitching！’Thenitwastheynoticedme……Acoupleofyoungmilksops，localamateursofthescenicart，Ipresume，lookedatme，exchangedglances，andwhispered：’That’sherlover！’Howdoyoulikethat？Andanunprepossessingindividualinatop-hat，withachinthatbadlyneededshaving，hungroundme，shiftingfromonefoottotheother，thenturnedtomewiththewords：
"’Doyouknowwhothatladyis，walkingontheotherbank？That’sso-and-so……Hervoiceisbeneathallcriticism，butshehasamostperfectmasteryofit！……’
"’Canyoutellme，’Iaskedtheunprepossessingindividual，’whobuiltthisbridge？’
"’Ireallydon’tknow，’answeredtheindividual；someengineer，Iexpect。’
"’Andwhobuiltthecathedralinyourtown？’Iaskedagain。
"’Ireallycan’ttellyou。’
"ThenIaskedhimwhowasconsideredthebestteacherinK。，whothebestarchitect，andtoallmyquestionstheunprepossessingindividualansweredthathedidnotknow。
"’Andtellme，please，’Iaskedinconclusion，withwhomisthatsingerliving？’
"’WithsomeengineercalledKrikunov。’
"Well，howdoyoulikethat，sir？Buttoproceed。Therearenominnesingersorbardsnowadays，andcelebrityiscreatedalmostexclusivelybythenewspapers。Thedayafterthededicationofthebridge，Igreedilysnatchedupthelocal_Messenger，_andlookedformyselfinit。Ispentalongtimerunningmyeyesoverallthefourpages，andatlastthereitwas——hurrah！Ibeganreading：’Yesterdayinbeautifulweather，beforeavastconcourseofpeople，inthepresenceofHisExcellencytheGovernoroftheprovince，so-and-so，andotherdignitaries，theceremonyofthededicationofthenewlyconstructedbridgetookplace，’andsoon……Towardstheend：Ourtalentedactressso-and-so，thefavoriteoftheK。public，waspresentatthededicationlookingverybeautiful。Ineednotsaythatherarrivalcreatedasensation。Thestarwaswearing……’andsoon。Theymighthavegivenmeoneword！Halfaword。Pettyasitseems，Iactuallycriedwithvexation！
"Iconsoledmyselfwiththereflectionthattheprovincesarestupid，andonecouldexpectnothingofthemandforcelebrityonemustgototheintellectualcenters——toPetersburgandtoMoscow。Andasithappened，atthatverytimetherewasaworkofmineinPetersburgwhichIhadsentinforacompetition。Thedateonwhichtheresultwastobedeclaredwasathand。
"ItookleaveofK。andwenttoPetersburg。ItisalongjourneyfromK。toPetersburg，andthatImightnotbeboredonthejourneyItookareservedcompartmentand——well——ofcourse，I
tookmysinger。Wesetoff，andallthewaywewereeating，drinkingchampagne，and——tra-la——la！Butbehold，atlastwereachtheintellectualcenter。Iarrivedontheverydaytheresultwasdeclared，andhadthesatisfaction，mydearsir，ofcelebratingmyownsuccess：myworkreceivedthefirstprize。
Hurrah！NextdayIwentoutalongtheNevskyandspentseventykopecksonvariousnewspapers。Ihastenedtomyhotelroom，laydownonthesofa，and，controllingaquiverofexcitement，madehastetoread。Iranthroughonenewspaper——nothing。Iranthroughasecond——nothingeither；myGod！Atlast，inthefourth，Ilighteduponthefollowingparagraph：’Yesterdaythewell-knownprovincialactressso-and-soarrivedbyexpressinPetersburg。WenotewithpleasurethattheclimateoftheSouthhashadabeneficialeffectonourfairfriend；hercharmingstageappearance……’andIdon’tremembertherest！MuchlowerdownthanthatparagraphIfound，printedinthesmallesttype：
firstprizeinthecompetitionwasadjudgedtoanengineercalledso-and-so。’Thatwasall！Andtomakethingsbetter，theyevenmisspeltmyname：insteadofKrikunovitwasKirkutlov。Somuchforyourintellectualcenter！Butthatwasnotall……BythetimeIleftPetersburg，amonthlater，allthenewspaperswerevyingwithoneanotherindiscussingourincomparable，divine，highlytalentedactress，andmymistresswasreferredto，notbyhersurname，butbyherChristiannameandherfather’s……
"SomeyearslaterIwasinMoscow。Iwassummonedtherebyaletter，inthemayor’sownhandwriting，toundertakeaworkforwhichMoscow，initsnewspapers，hadbeenclamoringforoverahundredyears。IntheintervalsofmyworkIdeliveredfivepubliclectures，withaphilanthropicobject，inoneofthemuseumsthere。Onewouldhavethoughtthatwasenoughtomakeoneknowntothewholetownforthreedaysatleast，wouldn’tone？
But，alas！notasingleMoscowgazettesaidawordaboutmeTherewassomethingabouthousesonfire，aboutanoperetta，sleepingtowncouncilors，drunkenshopkeepers——abouteverything；butaboutmywork，myplans，mylectures——mum。AndanicesettheyareinMoscow！Igotintoatram……Itwaspackedfull；therewereladiesandmilitarymenandstudentsofbothsexes，creaturesofallsortsincouples。
"’Iamtoldthetowncouncilhassentforanengineertoplansuchandsuchawork！’Isaidtomyneighbor，soloudlythatallthetramcouldhear。’Doyouknowthenameoftheengineer？’
"Myneighborshookhishead。Therestofthepublictookacursoryglanceatme，andinalltheireyesIread：’Idon’tknow。’
"’Iamtoldthatthereissomeonegivinglecturesinsuchandsuchamuseum？’Ipersisted，tryingtogetupaconversation。’I
hearitisinteresting。’
"Nooneevennodded。Evidentlytheyhadnotallofthemheardofthelectures，andtheladieswerenotevenawareoftheexistenceofthemuseum。Allthatwouldnothavemattered，butimagine，mydearsir，thepeoplesuddenlyleapedtotheirfeetandstruggledtothewindows。Whatwasit？Whatwasthematter？
"’Look，look！’myneighbornudgedme。’Doyouseethatdarkmangettingintothatcab？That’sthefamousrunner，King！’
"AndthewholetrambegantalkingbreathlesslyoftherunnerwhowasthenabsorbingthebrainsofMoscow。
"Icouldgiveyoueversomanyotherexamples，butIthinkthatisenough。NowletusassumethatIammistakenaboutmyself，thatIamawretchedlyboastfulandincompetentperson；butapartfrommyselfImightpointtomanyofmycontemporaries，menremarkablefortheirtalentandindustry，whohaveneverthelessdiedunrecognized。AreRussiannavigators，chemists，physicists，mechanicians，andagriculturistspopularwiththepublic？DoourcultivatedmassesknowanythingofRussianartists，sculptors，andliterarymen？Someoldliteraryhack，hard-workingandtalented，willwearawaythedoorstepofthepublishers’officesforthirty-threeyears，coverreamsofpaper，behadupforlibeltwentytimes，andyetnotstepbeyondhisant-heap。Canyoumentiontomeasinglerepresentativeofourliteraturewhowouldhavebecomecelebratediftherumorhadnotbeenspreadovertheearththathehadbeenkilledinaduel，goneoutofhismind，beensentintoexile，orhadcheatedatcards？"
Thefirst-classpassengerwassoexcitedthathedroppedhiscigaroutofhismouthandgotup。
"Yes，"hewentonfiercely，"andsidebysidewiththesepeopleI
canquoteyouhundredsofallsortsofsingers，acrobats，buffoons，whosenamesareknowntoeverybaby。Yes！"
Thedoorcreaked，therewasadraught，andanindividualofforbiddingaspect，wearinganInvernesscoat，atop-hat，andbluespectacles，walkedintothecarriage。Theindividuallookedroundattheseats，frowned，andwentonfurther。
"Doyouknowwhothatis？"therecameatimidwhisperfromthefurthestcornerofthecompartment。
ThatisN。N。，thefamousTulacardsharperwhowashadupinconnectionwiththeY。bankaffair。"
"Thereyouare！"laughedthefirst-classpassenger。HeknowsaTulacardsharper，butaskhimwhetherheknowsSemiradsky，Tchaykovsky，orSolovyovthephilosopher——he’llshakehishead……Itswinish！"
Threeminutespassedinsilence。
"Allowmeinmyturntoaskyouaquestion，"saidthe_vis-a-vis_
timidly，clearinghisthroat。DoyouknowthenameofPushkov？"
"Pushkov？H’m！Pushkov……No，Idon’tknowit！"
"Thatismyname，……"saidthe_vis-a-vis，_，overcomewithembarrassment。"Thenyoudon’tknowit？AndyetIhavebeenaprofessoratoneoftheRussianuniversitiesforthirty-fiveyears，……amemberoftheAcademyofSciences，……havepublishedmorethanonework……"
Thefirst-classpassengerandthe_vis-a-vis_lookedateachotherandburstoutlaughing。
ATRAGICACTOR
ITwasthebenefitnightofFenogenov，thetragicactor。Theywereacting"PrinceSerebryany。"ThetragedianhimselfwasplayingVyazemsky；Limonadov，thestagemanager，wasplayingMorozov；MadameBeobahtov，Elena。Theperformancewasagrandsuccess。Thetragedianaccomplishedwondersindeed。WhenhewascarryingoffElena，heheldherinonehandabovehisheadashedashedacrossthestage。Heshouted，hissed，bangedwithhisfeet，torehiscoatacrosshischest。WhenherefusedtofightMorozov，hetrembledalloverasnobodyevertremblesinreality，andgaspedloudly。Thetheatreshookwithapplause。Therewereendlesscalls。Fenogenovwaspresentedwithasilvercigarette-caseandabouquettiedwithlongribbons。Theladieswavedtheirhandkerchiefsandurgedtheirmentoapplaud，manyshedtears……ButtheonewhowasthemostenthusiasticandmostexcitedwasMasha，daughterofSidoretskythepolicecaptain。Shewassittinginthefirstrowofthestallsbesideherpapa；shewasecstaticandcouldnottakehereyesoffthestageevenbetweentheacts。Herdelicatelittlehandsandfeetwerequivering，hereyeswerefulloftears，hercheeksturnedpalerandpaler。Andnowonder——shewasatthetheatreforthefirsttimeinherlife。
"Howwelltheyact！howsplendidly！"shesaidtoherpapathepolicecaptain，everytimethecurtainfell。HowgoodFenogenovis！"
Andifherpapahadbeencapableofreadingfaceshewouldhavereadonhisdaughter’spalelittlecountenancearapturethatwasalmostanguish。Shewasovercomebytheacting，bytheplay，bythesurroundings。Whentheregimentalbandbeganplayingbetweentheacts，sheclosedhereyes，exhausted。
"Papa！"shesaidtothepolicecaptainduringthelastinterval，"gobehindthescenesandaskthemalltodinnerto-morrow！"
Thepolicecaptainwentbehindthescenes，praisedthemforalltheirfineacting，andcomplimentedMadameBeobahtov。
"Yourlovelyfacedemandsacanvas，andIonlywishIcouldwieldthebrush！"
Andwithascrape，hethereuponinvitedthecompanytodinner。
"Allexceptthefairsex，"hewhispered。"Idon’twanttheactresses，forIhaveadaughter。"
Nextdaytheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’s。Onlythreeturnedup，themanagerLimonadov，thetragedianFenogenov，andthecomicmanVodolazov；theotherssentexcuses。Thedinnerwasadullaffair。Limonadovkepttellingthepolicecaptainhowmuchherespectedhim，andhowhighlyhethoughtofallpersonsinauthority；VodolazovmimickeddrunkenmerchantsandArmenians；
andFenogenov（onhispassporthisnamewasKnish），atall，stoutLittleRussianwithblackeyesandfrowningbrow，declaimed"Attheportalsofthegreat，"and"Tobeornottobe。"Limonadov，withtearsinhiseyes，describedhisinterviewwiththeformerGovernor，GeneralKanyutchin。Thepolicecaptainlistened，wasbored，andsmiledaffably。Hewaswellsatisfied，althoughLimonadovsmeltstronglyofburntfeathers，andFenogenovwaswearingahireddresscoatandbootstroddendownatheel。Theypleasedhisdaughterandmadeherlively，andthatwasenoughforhim。AndMashanevertookhereyesofftheactors。Shehadneverbeforeseensuchclever，exceptionalpeople！
IntheeveningthepolicecaptainandMashawereatthetheatreagain。Aweeklatertheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’sagain，andafterthatcamealmosteverydayeithertodinnerorsupper。Mashabecamemoreandmoredevotedtothetheatre，andwentthereeveryevening。
Shefellinlovewiththetragedian。Onefinemorning，whenthepolicecaptainhadgonetomeetthebishop，MasharanawaywithLimonadov’scompanyandmarriedherheroontheway。Aftercelebratingthewedding，theactorscomposedalongandtouchingletterandsentittothepolicecaptain。
Itwastheworkoftheircombinedefforts。
"Bringoutthemotive，themotive！"Limonadovkeptsayingashedictatedtothecomicman。"Layontherespect……Theseofficialchapslikeit。Addsomethingofasort……todrawatear。"
Theanswertothisletterwasmostdiscomforting。Thepolicecaptaindisownedhisdaughterformarrying，ashesaid，"astupid，idleLittleRussianwithnofixedhomeoroccupation。"
AndthedayafterthisanswerwasreceivedMashawaswritingtoherfather。
"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！"
Hehadbeatenher，beatenherbehindthescenes，inthepresenceofLimonadov，thewasherwoman，andtwolightingmen。Herememberedhow，fourdaysbeforethewedding，hewassittingintheLondonTavernwiththewholecompany，andallweretalkingaboutMasha。Thecompanywereadvisinghimto"chanceit，"andLimonadov，withtearsinhiseyesurged："Itwouldbestupidandirrationaltoletslipsuchanopportunity！Why，forasumlikethatonewouldgotoSiberia，letalonegettingmarried！Whenyoumarryandhaveatheatreofyourown，takemeintoyourcompany。Ishan’tbemasterthen，you’llbemaster。"
Fenogenovrememberedit，andmutteredwithclenchedfists：
"Ifhedoesn’tsendmoneyI’llsmashher！Iwon’tletmyselfbemadeafoolof，damnmysoul！"
AtoneprovincialtownthecompanytriedtogiveMashatheslip，butMashafoundout，rantothestation，andgottherewhenthesecondbellhadrungandtheactorshadalltakentheirseats。
"I’vebeenshamefullytreatedbyyourfather，"saidthetragedian；"allisoverbetweenus！"
Andthoughthecarriagewasfullofpeople，shewentdownonherkneesandheldoutherhands，imploringhim：
"Iloveyou！Don’tdrivemeaway，KondratyIvanovitch，"shebesoughthim。"Ican’tlivewithoutyou！"
Theylistenedtoherentreaties，andafterconsultingtogether，tookherintothecompanyasa"countess"——thenametheyusedfortheminoractresseswhousuallycameontothestageincrowdsorindumbparts。TobeginwithMashausedtoplaymaid-servantsandpages，butwhenMadameBeobahtov，theflowerofLimonadov’scompany，eloped，theymadeher_ingenue_。Sheactedbadly，lisped，andwasnervous。Shesoongrewusedtoit，however，andbegantobelikedbytheaudience。Fenogenovwasmuchdispleased。
"Tocallheranactress！"heusedtosay。"Shehasnofigure，nodeportment，nothingwhateverbutsilliness。"
InoneprovincialtownthecompanyactedSchiller’s"Robbers。"
FenogenovplayedFranz，Masha，Amalie。Thetragedianshoutedandquivered。Masharepeatedherpartlikeawell-learntlesson，andtheplaywouldhavegoneoffastheygenerallydidhaditnotbeenforatriflingmishap。EverythingwentwelluptothepointwhereFranzdeclareshisloveforAmalieandsheseizeshissword。Thetragedianshouted，hissed，quivered，andsqueezedMashainhisironembrace。AndMasha，insteadofrepulsinghimandcrying"Hence！"trembledinhisarmslikeabirdanddidnotmove，……sheseemedpetrified。
"Havepityonme！"shewhisperedinhisear。"Oh，havepityonme！Iamsomiserable！"
"Youdon’tknowyourpart！Listentotheprompter！"hissedthetragedian，andhethrusthisswordintoherhand。
Aftertheperformance，LimonadovandFenogenovweresittingintheticketbox-officeengagedinconversation。
"Yourwifedoesnotlearnherpart，youarerightthere，"themanagerwassaying。"Shedoesn’tknowherline……Everymanhashisownline，……butshedoesn’tknowhers……"
Fenogenovlistened，sighed，andscowledandscowled。
Nextmorning，Mashawassittinginalittlegeneralshopwriting：
"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！Sendussomemoney！"
ATRANSGRESSION
ACOLLEGIATEassessorcalledMiguevstoppedatatelegraph-postinthecourseofhiseveningwalkandheavedadeepsigh。Aweekbefore，ashewasreturninghomefromhiseveningwalk，hehadbeenovertakenatthatveryspotbyhisformerhousemaid，Agnia，whosaidtohimviciously：
"Waitabit！I’llcookyousuchacrabthat’llteachyoutoruininnocentgirls！I’llleavethebabyatyourdoor，andI’llhavethelawofyou，andI’lltellyourwife，too……"
Andshedemandedthatheshouldputfivethousandroublesintothebankinhername。Miguevrememberedit，heavedasigh，andoncemorereproachedhimselfwithheartfeltrepentanceforthemomentaryinfatuationwhichhadcausedhimsomuchworryandmisery。
Whenhereachedhisbungalow，hesatdowntorestonthedoorstep。Itwasjustteno’clock，andabitofthemoonpeepedoutfrombehindtheclouds。Therewasnotasoulinthestreetnornearthebungalows；elderlysummervisitorswerealreadygoingtobed，whileyoungoneswerewalkinginthewood。Feelinginbothhispocketsforamatchtolighthiscigarette，Miguevbroughthiselbowintocontactwithsomethingsoft。Helookedidlyathisrightelbow，andhisfacewasinstantlycontortedbyalookofasmuchhorrorasthoughhehadseenasnakebesidehim。Onthestepattheverydoorlayabundle。Somethingoblonginshapewaswrappedupinsomething——judgingbythefeelofit，awaddedquilt。Oneendofthebundlewasalittleopen，andthecollegiateassessor，puttinginhishand，feltsomethingdampandwarm。Heleapedontohisfeetinhorror，andlookedabouthimlikeacriminaltryingtoescapefromhiswarders……
"Shehasleftit！"hemutteredwrathfullythroughhisteeth，clenchinghisfists。"Hereitlies……Hereliesmytransgression！OLord！"
Hewasnumbwithterror，anger，andshame……Whatwashetodonow？Whatwouldhiswifesayifshefoundout？Whatwouldhiscolleaguesattheofficesay？HisExcellencywouldbesuretodighimintheribs，guffaw，andsay："Icongratulateyou！……
He-he-he！Thoughyourbeardisgray，yourheartisgay……Youarearogue，SemyonErastovitch！"Thewholecolonyofsummervisitorswouldknowhissecretnow，andprobablytherespectablemothersoffamilieswouldshuttheirdoorstohim。
Suchincidentsalwaysgetintothepapers，andthehumblenameofMiguevwouldbepublishedalloverRussia……
Themiddlewindowofthebungalowwasopenandhecoulddistinctlyhearhiswife，AnnaFilippovna，layingthetableforsupper；intheyardclosetothegateYermolay，theporter，wasplaintivelystrummingonthebalalaika。Thebabyhadonlytowakeupandbegintocry，andthesecretwouldbediscovered。Miguevwasconsciousofanoverwhelmingdesiretomakehaste。
"Haste，haste！……"hemuttered，"thisminute，beforeanyonesees。I’llcarryitawayandlayitonsomebody’sdoorstep……"
Miguevtookthebundleinonehandandquietly，withadeliberatesteptoavoidawakeningsuspicion，wentdownthestreet……
"Awonderfullynastyposition！"hereflected，tryingtoassumeanairofunconcern。"Acollegiateassessorwalkingdownthestreetwithababy！Goodheavens！ifanyoneseesmeandunderstandstheposition，Iamdonefor……I’dbetterputitonthisdoorstep……No，stay，thewindowsareopenandperhapssomeoneislooking。WhereshallIputit？Iknow！I’lltakeittothemerchantMyelkin’s……Merchantsarerichpeopleandtenderhearted；verylikelytheywillsaythankyouandadoptit。"
AndMiguevmadeuphismindtotakethebabytoMyelkin’s，althoughthemerchant’svillawasinthefurtheststreet，closetotheriver。
"Ifonlyitdoesnotbeginscreamingorwriggleoutofthebundle，"thoughtthecollegiateassessor。"Thisisindeedapleasantsurprise！HereIamcarryingahumanbeingundermyarmasthoughitwereaportfolio。Ahumanbeing，alive，withsoul，withfeelingslikeanyoneelse……IfbygoodlucktheMyelkinsadopthim，hemayturnoutsomebody……Maybehewillbecomeaprofessor，agreatgeneral，anauthor……Anythingmayhappen！NowIamcarryinghimundermyarmlikeabundleofrubbish，andperhapsinthirtyorfortyyearsImaynotdaretositdowninhispresence……
AsMiguevwaswalkingalonganarrow，desertedalley，besidealongrowoffences，inthethickblackshadeofthelimetrees，itsuddenlystruckhimthathewasdoingsomethingverycruelandcriminal。
"Howmeanitisreally！"hethought。"Someanthatonecan’timagineanythingmeaner……Whyareweshiftingthispoorbabyfromdoortodoor？It’snotitsfaultthatit’sbeenborn。It’sdoneusnoharm。Wearescoundrels……Wetakeourpleasure，andtheinnocentbabieshavetopaythepenalty。Onlytothinkofallthiswretchedbusiness！
I’vedonewrongandthechildhasacruelfatebeforeit。IfI
layitattheMyelkins’door，they’llsendittothefoundlinghospital，andthereitwillgrowupamongstrangers，inmechanicalroutine，……nolove，nopetting，nospoiling……
Andthenhe’llbeapprenticedtoashoemaker，……he’lltaketodrink，willlearntousefilthylanguage，willgohungry。A
shoemaker！andhethesonofacollegiateassessor，ofgoodfamily……Heismyfleshandblood，……"
Miguevcameoutoftheshadeofthelimetreesintothebrightmoonlightoftheopenroad，andopeningthebundle，helookedatthebaby。
"Asleep！"hemurmured。"Youlittlerascal！why，you’veanaquilinenoselikeyourfather’s……Hesleepsanddoesn’tfeelthatit’shisownfatherlookingathim！……It’sadrama，myboy……Well，well，youmustforgiveme。Forgiveme，oldboy……Itseemsit’syourfate……"
Thecollegiateassessorblinkedandfeltaspasmrunningdownhischeeks……Hewrappedupthebaby，puthimunderhisarm，andstrodeon。AllthewaytotheMyelkins’villasocialquestionswereswarminginhisbrainandconsciencewasgnawinginhisbosom。
"IfIwereadecent，honestman，hethought，"Ishoulddamneverything，gowiththisbabytoAnnaFilippovna，fallonmykneesbeforeher，andsay：’Forgiveme！Ihavesinned！Tortureme，butwewon’truinaninnocentchild。Wehavenochildren；letusadopthim！"She’sagoodsort，she’dconsent……Andthenmychildwouldbewithme……Ech！"
HereachedtheMyelkins’villaandstoodstillhesitating。Heimaginedhimselfintheparlorathome，sittingreadingthepaperwhilealittleboywithanaquilinenoseplayedwiththetasselsofhisdressinggown。Atthesametimevisionsforcedthemselvesonhisbrainofhiswinkingcolleagues，andofhisExcellencydigginghimintheribsandguffawing……Besidestheprickingofhisconscience，therewassomethingwarm，sad，andtenderinhisheart……
Cautiouslythecollegiateassessorlaidthebabyontheverandahstepandwavedhishand。Againhefeltaspasmrunoverhisface……
"Forgiveme，oldfellow！Iamascoundrel，hemuttered。"Don’trememberevilagainstme。"
Hesteppedback，butimmediatelyclearedhisthroatresolutelyandsaid：
"Oh，comewhatwill！Damnitall！I’lltakehim，andletpeoplesaywhattheylike！"
Miguevtookthebabyandstroderapidlyback。
"Letthemsaywhattheylike，"hethought。"I’llgoatonce，fallonmyknees，andsay：’AnnaFilippovna！’Annaisagoodsort，she’llunderstand……Andwe’llbringhimup……Ifit’saboywe’llcallhimVladimir，andifit’sagirlwe’llcallherAnna！Anyway，itwillbeacomfortinouroldage。"
Andhedidashedetermined。Weepingandalmostfaintwithshameandterror，fullofhopeandvaguerapture，hewentintohisbungalow，wentuptohiswife，andfellonhiskneesbeforeher。
"AnnaFilippovna！"hesaidwithasob，andhelaidthebabyonthefloor。"Hearmebeforeyoupunish……Ihavesinned！Thisismychild……YourememberAgnia？Well，itwasthedevildrovemetoit……"
And，almostunconsciouswithshameandterror，hejumpedupwithoutwaitingforananswer，andranoutintotheopenairasthoughhehadreceivedathrashing……
"I’llstayhereoutsidetillshecallsme，"hethought。"I’llgivehertimetorecover，andtothinkitover……"
TheporterYermolaypassedhimwithhisbalalaika，glancedathimandshruggedhisshoulders。Aminutelaterhepassedhimagain，andagainheshruggedhisshoulders。
"Here’sago！Didyouever！"hemutteredgrinning。"Aksinya，thewasher-woman，washerejustnow，SemyonErastovitch。Thesillywomanputherbabydownonthestepshere，andwhileshewasindoorswithme，someonetookandcarriedoffthebaby……
Who’dhavethoughtit！"
"What？Whatareyousaying？"shoutedMiguevatthetopofhisvoice。
Yermolay，interpretinghismaster’swrathinhisownfashion，scratchedhisheadandheavedasigh。
"Iamsorry，SemyonErastovitch，"hesaid，"butit’sthesummerholidays，……onecan’tgetonwithout……withoutawoman，I
mean……"
Andglancingathismaster’seyesglaringathimwithangerandastonishment，heclearedhisthroatguiltilyandwenton：
"It’sasin，ofcourse，butthere——whatisonetodo？……
You’veforbiddenustohavestrangersinthehouse，Iknow，butwe’venoneofourownnow。WhenAgniawashereIhadnowomentoseeme，forIhadoneathome；butnow，youcanseeforyourself，sir，……onecan’thelphavingstrangers。InAgnia’stime，ofcourse，therewasnothingirregular，because……"
"Beoff，youscoundrel！"Miguevshoutedathim，stamping，andhewentbackintotheroom。
AnnaFilippovna，amazedandwrathful，wassittingasbefore，hertear-stainedeyesfixedonthebaby……
"There！there！"Miguevmutteredwithapaleface，twistinghislipsintoasmile。"Itwasajoke……It’snotmybaby，……
it’sthewasher-woman’s！……I……Iwasjoking……Takeittotheporter。"
SMALLFRY
"HONOREDSir，FatherandBenefactor！"apettyclerkcalledNevyrazimovwaswritingaroughcopyofanEastercongratulatoryletter。"ItrustthatyoumayspendthisHolyDayevenasmanymoretocome，ingoodhealthandprosperity。AndtoyourfamilyalsoI……"
Thelamp，inwhichthekerosenewasgettinglow，wassmokingandsmelling。AstraycockroachwasrunningaboutthetableinalarmnearNevyrazimov’swritinghand。TworoomsawayfromtheofficeParamontheporterwasforthethirdtimecleaninghisbestboots，andwithsuchenergythatthesoundoftheblacking-brushandofhisexpectorationswasaudibleinalltherooms。
"WhatelsecanIwritetohim，therascal？"Nevyrazimovwondered，raisinghiseyestothesmuttyceiling。
Ontheceilinghesawadarkcircle——theshadowofthelamp-shade。Belowitwasthedustycornice，andlowerstillthewall，whichhadoncebeenpaintedabluishmuddycolor。Andtheofficeseemedtohimsuchaplaceofdesolationthathefeltsorry，notonlyforhimself，butevenforthecockroach。
"WhenIamoffdutyIshallgoaway，buthe’llbeondutyhereallhiscockroach-life，"hethought，stretching。"Iambored！
ShallIcleanmyboots？"
Andstretchingoncemore，Nevyrazimovslouchedlazilytotheporter’sroom。Paramonhadfinishedcleaninghisboots。Crossinghimselfwithonehandandholdingthebrushintheother，hewasstandingattheopenwindow-pane，listening。
"They’reringing，"hewhisperedtoNevyrazimov，lookingathimwitheyesintentandwideopen。"Already！"
Nevyrazimovputhiseartotheopenpaneandlistened。TheEasterchimesfloatedintotheroomwithawhiffoffreshspringair。
Theboomingofthebellsmingledwiththerumbleofcarriages，andabovethechaosofsoundsrosethebrisktenortonesofthenearestchurchandaloudshrilllaugh。
"Whatalotofpeople！"sighedNevyrazimov，lookingdownintothestreet，whereshadowsofmenflittedoneafteranotherbytheilluminationlamps。"They’reallhurryingtothemidnightservice……Ourfellowshavehadadrinkbynow，youmaybesure，andarestrollingaboutthetown。Whatalotoflaughter，whatalotoftalk！I’mtheonlyunluckyone，tohavetosithereonsuchaday：AndIhavetodoiteveryyear！"
"Well，nobodyforcesyoutotakethejob。It’snotyourturntobeondutytoday，butZastupovhiredyoutotakehisplace。Whenotherfolksareenjoyingthemselvesyouhireyourselfout。It’sgreediness！"
"Devilabitofit！Notmuchtobegreedyover——tworoublesisallhegivesme；anecktieasanextra……It’spoverty，notgreediness。Anditwouldbejolly，now，youknow，tobegoingwithapartytotheservice，andthentobreakthefast……
Todrinkandtohaveabitofsupperandtumbleofftosleep……Onesitsdowntothetable，there’sanEastercakeandthesamovarhissing，andsomecharminglittlethingbesideyou……
Youdrinkaglassandchuckherunderthechin，andit’sfirst-
rate……Youfeelyou’resomebody……Echh-h！……I’vemadeamessofthings！Lookatthathussydrivingbyinhercarriage，whileIhavetosithereandbrood。"
"Weeachhaveourlotinlife，IvanDanilitch。PleaseGod，you’llbepromotedanddriveaboutinyourcarriageoneday。"
"I？No，brother，notlikely。Ishan’tgetbeyonda’titular，’notifItrytillIburst。I’mnotaneducatedman。"
"OurGeneralhasnoeducationeither，but……"
"Well，buttheGeneralstoleahundredthousandbeforehegothisposition。Andhe’sgotverydifferentmannersanddeportmentfromme，brother。Withmymannersanddeportmentonecan’tgetfar！
Andsuchascoundrellysurname，Nevyrazimov！It’sahopelessposition，infact。Onemaygoonasoneis，oronemayhangoneself……"
Hemovedawayfromthewindowandwalkedwearilyabouttherooms。
Thedinofthebellsgrewlouderandlouder……Therewasnoneedtostandbythewindowtohearit。Andthebetterhecouldhearthebellsandtheloudertheroarofthecarriages，thedarkerseemedthemuddywallsandthesmuttycorniceandthemorethelampsmoked。
"ShallIhookitandleavetheoffice？"thoughtNevyrazimov。
Butsuchaflightpromisednothingworthhaving……Aftercomingoutoftheofficeandwanderingaboutthetown，Nevyrazimovwouldhavegonehometohislodging，andinhislodgingitwasevengrayerandmoredepressingthanintheoffice……
Evensupposingheweretospendthatdaypleasantlyandwithcomfort，whathadhebeyond？Nothingbutthesamegraywalls，thesamestop-gapdutyandcomplimentaryletters……
Nevyrazimovstoodstillinthemiddleoftheofficeandsankintothought。Theyearningforanew，betterlifegnawedathisheartwithanintolerableache。Hehadapassionatelongingtofindhimselfsuddenlyinthestreet，tominglewiththelivingcrowd，totakepartinthesolemnfestivityforthesakeofwhichallthosebellswereclashingandthosecarriageswererumbling。Helongedforwhathehadknowninchildhood——thefamilycircle，thefestivefacesofhisownpeople，thewhitecloth，light，warmth……！Hethoughtofthecarriageinwhichtheladyhadjustdrivenby，theovercoatinwhichtheheadclerkwassosmart，thegoldchainthatadornedthesecretary’schest……
Hethoughtofawarmbed，oftheStanislavorder，ofnewboots，ofauniformwithoutholesintheelbows……Hethoughtofallthosethingsbecausehehadnoneofthem。
"ShallIsteal？"hethought。"Evenifstealingisaneasymatter，hidingiswhat’sdifficult。MenrunawaytoAmerica，theysay，withwhatthey’vestolen，butthedevilknowswherethatblessedAmericais。Onemusthaveeducationeventosteal，itseems。"
Thebellsdieddown。HeheardonlyadistantnoiseofcarriagesandParamon’scough，whilehisdepressionandangergrewmoreandmoreintenseandunbearable。Theclockintheofficestruckhalf-pasttwelve。
"ShallIwriteasecretreport？Proshkindid，andheroserapidly。"
Nevyrazimovsatdownathistableandpondered。Thelampinwhichthekerosenehadquiterundrywassmokingviolentlyandthreateningtogoout。Thestraycockroachwasstillrunningaboutthetableandhadfoundnoresting-place。
"Onecanalwayssendinasecretreport，buthowisonetomakeitup？Ishouldwanttomakeallsortsofinnuendoesandinsinuations，likeProshkin，andIcan’tdoit。IfImadeupanythingIshouldbethefirsttogetintotroubleforit。I’manass，damnmysoul！"
AndNevyrazimov，rackinghisbrainforameansofescapefromhishopelessposition，staredattheroughcopyhehadwritten。Theletterwaswrittentoamanwhomhefearedandhatedwithhiswholesoul，andfromwhomhehadforthelasttenyearsbeentryingtowringapostwortheighteenroublesamonth，insteadoftheonehehadatsixteenroubles。
"Ah，I’llteachyoutorunhere，youdevil！"Heviciouslyslappedthepalmofhishandonthecockroach，whohadthemisfortunetocatchhiseye。"Nastything！"
Thecockroachfellonitsbackandwriggleditslegsindespair。
Nevyrazimovtookitbyonelegandthrewitintothelamp。Thelampflaredupandspluttered。
AndNevyrazimovfeltbetter。
THEREQUIEM
INthevillagechurchofVerhnyZaprudymasswasjustover。Thepeoplehadbegunmovingandweretroopingoutofchurch。TheonlyonewhodidnotmovewasAndreyAndreyitch，ashopkeeperandoldinhabitantofVerhnyZaprudy。Hestoodwaiting，withhiselbowsontherailingoftherightchoir。Hisfatandshavenface，coveredwithindentationsleftbypimples，expressedonthisoccasiontwocontradictoryfeelings：resignationinthefaceofinevitabledestiny，andstupid，unboundeddisdainforthesmocksandstripedkerchiefspassingbyhim。AsitwasSunday，hewasdressedlikeadandy。Heworealongclothovercoatwithyellowbonebuttons，bluetrousersnotthrustintohisboots，andsturdygoloshes——thehugeclumsygoloshesonlyseenonthefeetofpracticalandprudentpersonsoffirmreligiousconvictions。
Historpideyes，sunkinfat，werefixedupontheikonstand。Hesawthelongfamiliarfiguresofthesaints，thevergerMatveypuffingouthischeeksandblowingoutthecandles，thedarkenedcandlestands，thethreadbarecarpet，thesacristanLopuhovrunningimpulsivelyfromthealtarandcarryingtheholybreadtothechurchwarden……Allthesethingshehadseenforyears，andseenoverandoveragainlikethefivefingersofhishand……Therewasonlyonething，however，thatwassomewhatstrangeandunusual。FatherGrigory，stillinhisvestments，wasstandingatthenorthdoor，twitchinghisthickeyebrowsangrily。
"Whoisitheiswinkingat？Godblesshim！"thoughttheshopkeeper。"Andheisbeckoningwithhisfinger！Andhestampedhisfoot！Whatnext！What’sthematter，HolyQueenandMother！
Whomdoeshemeanitfor？"
AndreyAndreyitchlookedroundandsawthechurchcompletelydeserted。Thereweresometenpeoplestandingatthedoor，buttheyhadtheirbackstothealtar。
"Docomewhenyouarecalled！Whydoyoustandlikeagravenimage？"heheardFatherGrigory’sangryvoice。"Iamcallingyou。"
TheshopkeeperlookedatFatherGrigory’sredandwrathfulface，andonlythenrealizedthatthetwitchingeyebrowsandbeckoningfingermightrefertohim。Hestarted，lefttherailing，andhesitatinglywalkedtowardsthealtar，trampingwithhisheavygoloshes。
"AndreyAndreyitch，wasityouaskedforprayersfortherestofMariya’ssoul？"askedthepriest，hiseyesangrilytransfixingtheshopkeeper’sfat，perspiringface。
"Yes，Father。"
"Thenitwasyouwrotethis？You？"AndFatherGrigoryangrilythrustbeforehiseyesthelittlenote。
Andonthislittlenote，handedinbyAndreyAndreyitchbeforemass，waswritteninbig，asitwerestaggering，letters：
"FortherestofthesouloftheservantofGod，theharlotMariya。"
"Yes，certainlyIwroteit，……"answeredtheshopkeeper。
"Howdaredyouwriteit？"whisperedthepriest，andinhishuskywhispertherewasanoteofwrathandalarm。
Theshopkeeperlookedathiminblankamazement；hewasperplexed，andhe，too，wasalarmed。FatherGrigoryhadneverinhislifespokeninsuchatonetoaleadingresidentofVerhnyZaprudy。Bothweresilentforaminute，staringintoeachother’sface。Theshopkeeper’samazementwassogreatthathisfatfacespreadinalldirectionslikespiltdough。
"Howdaredyou？"repeatedthepriest。
"Wha……what？"askedAndreyAndreyitchinbewilderment。