第7章

507

TheForeandAftwaited，leaningupontheirriflesandlisteningtotheprotestsoftheiremptystomachs。TheColoneldidhisbesttoremedythedefaultofliningassoonasitwasborneinuponhimthattheaffairwouldnotbeginatonce，andsowelldidhesucceedthatthecoffeewasjustreadywhen-themenmovedoff，theirBandleading。Eventhentherehadbeenamistakeintime，andtheForeandAftcameoutintothevalleytenminutesbeforetheproperhour。TheirBandwheeledtotherightafterreachingtheopen，andretiredbehindalittlerockyknollstillplayingwhiletheRegimentwentpast。

Itwasnotapleasantsightthatopenedontheuninstructedview，forthelowerendofthevalleyappearedtobefilledbyanarmyinposition-realandactualregimentsattiredinredcoats，and-ofthistherewasnodoubt-firingMartini-Henrybulletswhichcutupthegroundahundredyardsinfrontoftheleadingcompany。

Overthatpock-markedgroundtheRegimenthadtopass，anditopenedtheballwithageneralandprofoundcourtesytothepipingpickets；duckinginperfecttime，asthoughithadbeenbrazedonarod。Beinghalfcapableofthinkingforitself，itfiredavolleybythesimpleprocessofpitchingitsrifleintoitsshoulderandpullingthetrigger。Thebulletsmayhaveaccountedforsomeofthewatchersonthehillside，buttheycertainlydidnotaffectthemassofenemyinfront，whilethenoiseoftheriflesdrownedanyordersthatmighthavebeengiven。

"GoodGod！"saidtheBrigadier，sittingontherockhighaboveall。"ThatRegimenthasspoiltthewholeshow。Hurryuptheothers，andletthescrew-gunsgetoff。"

Butthescrew-guns，inworkingroundtheheights，hadstumbleduponawasp’snestofasmallmudfortwhichtheyincontinentlyshelledateighthundredyards，tothehugediscomfortoftheoccupants，whowereunaccustomedtoweaponsofsuchdevilishprecision。

TheForeandAftcontinuedtogoforward，butwithshortenedstride。Whereweretheotherregiments，andwhydidtheseniggersuseMartinis？Theytookopenorderinstinctively，lyingdownandfiringatrandom，rushingafewpacesforwardandlyingdownagain，accordingtotheregulations。Onceinthisformation，eachmanfelthimselfdesperatelyalone，andedgedintowardshisfellowforcomfort’ssake。

Thenthecrackofhisneighbor’srifleathisearledhimtofireasrapidlyashecould-againforthesakeofthecomfortofthenoise。Therewardwasnotlongdelayed。Fivevolleysplungedthefilesinbankedsmokeimpenetrabletotheeye，andthebulletsbegantotakegroundtwentyorthirtyyardsinfrontofthefirers，astheweightofthebayonetdraggeddownandtotherightarmsweariedwithholdingthekickoftheleapingMartini。TheCompanyCommanderspeeredhelplesslythroughthesmoke，themorenervousmechanicallytryingtofanitawaywiththeirhelmets。

"Highandtotheleft！"bawledaCaptaintillhewashoarse。"Nogood！Ceasefiring，andletitdriftawayabit。"

Threeandfourtimesthebuglesshriekedtheorder，andwhenitwasobeyedtheForeandAftlookedthattheirfoeshouldbelyingbeforetheminmownswathsofmen。Alightwinddrovethesmoketoleeward，andshowedtheenemystillinpositionandapparentlyunaffected。Aquarterofatonofleadhadbeenburiedafurlonginfrontofthem，astheraggedearthattested。

ThatwasnotdemoralizingtotheAfghans，whohavenotEuropeannerves。Theywerewaitingforthemadriottodiedown，andwerefiringquietlyintotheheartofthesmoke。AprivateoftheForeandAftspunuphiscompanyshriekingwithagony，anotherwaskickingtheearthandgasping，andathird，rippedthroughthelowerintestinesbyajaggedbullet，wascallingaloudonhiscomradestoputhimoutofhispain。Thesewerethecasualties，andtheywerenotsoothingtohearorsee。Thesmokeclearedtoadullhaze。

Thenthefoebegantoshoutwithagreatshouting，andamass-ablackmass-detacheditselffromthemainbody，androlledoverthegroundathorridspeed。Itwascomposedof，perhaps，threehundredmen，whowouldshoutandfireandslashiftherushoftheirfiftycomradeswhoweredeterminedtodiecarriedhome。ThefiftywereGhazis，halfmaddenedwithdrugsandwhollymadwithreligiousfanaticism。WhentheyrushedtheBritishfireceased，andinthelulltheorderwasgiventocloseranksandmeetthemwiththebayonet。

AnyonewhoknewthebusinesscouldhavetoldtheForeandAftthattheonlywayofdealingwithaGhazirushisbyvolleysatlongranges；becauseamanwhomeanstodie，whodesirestodie，whowillgainheavenbydying，must，inninecasesoutoften，killamanwhohasalingeringprejudiceinfavouroflife。Wheretheyshouldhaveclosedandgoneforward，theForeandAftopenedoutandskirmished，andwheretheyshouldhaveopenedoutandfired，theyclosedandwaited。

Amandraggedfromhisblanketshalfawakeandunfedisneverinapleasantframeofmind。Nordoeshishappinessincreasewhenhewatchesthewhitesoftheeyesofthreehundredsix-footfiendsuponwhosebeardsthefoamislying，uponwhosetonguesisaroarofwrath，andinwhosehandsareyard-longknives。

TheForeandAftheardtheGoorkhabuglesbringingthatregimentforwardatthedouble，whiletheneighingoftheHighlandpipescamefromtheleft。Theystrovetostaywheretheywere，thoughthebayonetswavereddownthelineliketheoarsofaraggedboat。

Thentheyfeltbodytobodytheamazingphysicalstrengthoftheirfoes；ashriekofpainendedtherush，andtheknivesfellamidscenesnottobetold。Themenclubbedtogetherandsmoteblindly-asoftenasnotattheirownfellows。Theirfrontcrumpledlikepaper，andthefiftyGhazispassedon；theirbackers，nowdrunkwithsuccess，fightingasmadlyasthey。

Thentherearrankswerebiddentocloseup，andthesubalternsdashedintothestew-alone。Fortherear-rankshadheardtheclamourinfront，theyellsandthehowlsofpain，andhadseenthedarkstalebloodthatmakesafraid。Theywerenotgoingtostay。Itwastherushingofthecampsoveragain。LettheirofficersgotoHell，iftheychose；theywouldgetawayfromtheknives。

"Comeon！"shriekedthesubalterns，andtheirmen，cursingthem，drewback，eachclosingintohisneighbourandwheelinground。

CharterisandDevlin，subalternsofthelastcompany，facedtheirdeathaloneinthebeliefthattheirmenwouldfollow。

"You’vekilledme，youcowards，"sobbedDevlinanddropped，cutfromtheshoulder-straptothecentreofthechest；andafreshdetachmentofhismenretreating，alwaysretreating，trampledhimunderfootastheymadeforthepasswhencetheyhademerged。

IkissedherinthekitchenandIkissedherinthehallChild’un，child’un，followme！

OhGolly，saidthecook，ishegwinetokissusall？

Halla-Halla-Halla-Hallelujah！

TheGoorkhaswerepouringthroughtheleftgorgeandovertheheightsatthedoubletotheinvitationoftheirRegimentalQuick-

step。Theblackrockswerecrownedwithdarkgreenspidersasthebuglesgavetonguejubilantly：-

Inthemorning！Inthemorningbythebrightlight！

WhenGabrielblowshistrumpetinthemorning！

TheGoorkharearcompaniestrippedandblunderedoverloosestones。Thefrontfileshaltedforamomenttotakestockofthevalleyandtosettlestrayboot-laces。Thenahappylittlesighofcontentmentsougheddowntheranks，anditwasasthoughthelandsmiled，forbeholdtherebelowwastheenemy，anditwastomeetthemthattheGoorkhashaddoubledsohastily。Therewasmuchenemy。Therewouldbeamusement。Thelittlemenhitchedtheirkukriswelltohand，andgapedexpectantlyattheirofficersasterriersgrinerethestoneiscastforthemtofetch。TheGoorkhas’groundslopeddownwardtothevalley，andtheyenjoyedafairviewoftheproceedings。Theysatupontheboulderstowatch，fortheirofficerswerenotgoingtowastetheirwindinassistingtorepulseaGhazirushmorethanhalfamileaway。Letthewhitemenlooktotheirownfront。

"Hi！yi！"saidtheSubadar-Major，whowassweatingprofusely。

"Damfoolsyonder，standcloseorder！Thisisnotimeforcloseorder，itisthetimeforvolleys。Ugh！"

Horrified，amused，andindignant，theGoorkhasbeheldtheretirementoftheForeandAftwitharunningchorusofoathsandcommentaries。

"Theyrun！Thewhitemenrun！ColonelSahib，maywealsodoalittlerunning？"murmuredRunbirThappa，theSeniorJemadar。

ButtheColonelwouldhavenoneofit。"Letthebeggarsbecutupalittle，"saidhewrathfully。"Serves’emright。They’llbeproddedintofacingroundinaminute。"Helookedthroughhisfield-glasses，andcaughttheglintofanofficer’ssword。

"Beating’emwiththeflat-damnedconscripts！HowtheGhazisarewalkingintothem！"saidhe。

TheForeandAft，headingback，borewiththemtheirofficers。Thenarrownessofthepassforcedthemobintosolidformation，andtherearranksdeliveredsomesortofawaveringvolley。TheGhazisdrewoff，fortheydidnotknowwhatreservethegorgemighthide。Moreover，itwasneverwisetochasewhitementoofar。Theyreturnedaswolvesreturntocover，satisfiedwiththeslaughterthattheyhaddone，andonlystoppingtoslashatthewoundedontheground。AquarterofamilehadtheForeandAftretreated，andnow，jammedinthepass，wasquiveringwithpain，shakenanddemoralisedwithfear，whiletheofficers，maddenedbeyondcontrol，smotethemenwiththehiltsandtheflatsoftheirswords。

"Getback！Getback，youcowards-youwomen！Rightaboutface-

columnofcompanies，form-youhounds！"shoutedtheColonel，andthesubalternssworealoud。ButtheRegimentwantedtogo-togoanywhereoutoftherangeofthosemercilessknives。Itswayedtoandfroirresolutelywithshoutsandoutcries，whilefromtherighttheGoorkhasdroppedvolleyaftervolleyofcripple-stopperSniderbulletsatlongrangeintothemoboftheGhazisreturningtotheirowntroops。

TheForeandAftBand，thoughprotectedfromdirectfirebytherockyknollunderwhichithadsatdown，fledatthefirstrush。

JakinandLewwouldhavefledalso，buttheirshortlegsleftthemfiftyyardsintherear，andbythetimetheBandhadmixedwiththeRegiment，theywerepainfullyawarethattheywouldhavetocloseinaloneandunsupported。

"Getbacktothatrock，"gaspedJakin。"Theywon’tseeusthere。"

AndtheyreturnedtothescatteredinstrumentsoftheBand，theirheartsnearlyburstingtheirribs。

"Here’saniceshowforus，"saidJakin，throwinghimselffulllengthontheground。"Abloomin’fineshowforBritishInfantry！

Oh，thedevils！They’vegoneandleftusalonehere！Wot’llwedo？"

Lewtookpossessionofacast-offwater-bottle，whichnaturallywasfullofcanteenrum，anddranktillhecoughedagain。

"Drink，"saidheshortly。"They’llcomebackinaminuteortwo-

yousee。"

Jakindrank，buttherewasnosignoftheRegiment’sreturn。Theycouldhearadullclamourfromtheheadofthevalleyofretreat，andsawtheGhazisslinkback，quickeningtheirpaceastheGoorkhasfiredatthem。

"We’reallthat’sleftoftheBand，an’we’llbecutupassureasdeath，"saidJakin。

"I’lldiegame，then，"saidLewthickly，fumblingwithhistinydrummer’ssword。ThedrinkwasworkingonhisbrainasitwasonJakin’s。

"’Oldon！Iknowsomethingbetterthanfightin’，"saidJakin，stungbythesplendourofasuddenthoughtduechieflytorum。

"Tipourbloomin’cowardsyonderthewordtocomeback。ThePaythanbeggarsarewellaway。Comeon，Lew！Wewon’tgethurt。Takethefifean’givemethedrum。TheOldStepforallyourbloomin’gutsareworth！There’safewofourmencomingbacknow。Standup，yedrunkenlittledefaulter。Byyourright-quickmarch！"

Heslippedthedrum-slingoverhisshoulder，thrustthefifeintoLew’shand，andthetwoboysmarchedoutofthecoveroftherockintotheopen，makingahideoushashofthefirstbarsofthe"BritishGrenadiers。"

AsLewhadsaid，afewoftheForeandAftwerecomingbacksullenlyandshamefacedlyunderthestimulusofblowsandabuse；

theirredcoatsshoneattheheadofthevalley，andbehindthemwerewaveringbayonets。Butbetweenthisshatteredlineandtheenemy，whowithAfghansuspicionfearedthatthehastyretreatmeantanambush，andhadnotmovedtherefore，layhalfamileoflevelgrounddottedonlybythewounded。

Thetunesettledintofullswingandtheboyskeptshouldertoshoulder，Jakinbangingthedrumasonepossessed。Theonefifemadeathinandpitifulsqueaking，butthetunecarriedfar，eventotheGoorkhas。

"Comeon，youdogs！"mutteredJakintohimself。"Arewetoplayforhever？"Lewwasstaringstraightinfrontofhimandmarchingmorestifflythaneverhehaddoneonparade。

Andinbittermockeryofthedistantmob，theoldtuneoftheOldLineshrilledandrattled：-

SometalkofAlexander，AndsomeofHercules；

OfHectorandLysander，Andsuchgreatnamesasthese！

Therewasafar-offclappingofhandsfromtheGoorkhas，andaroarfromtheHighlandersinthedistance，butneverashotwasfiredbyBritishorAfghan。Thetwolittlereddotsmovedforwardintheopenparalleltotheenemy’sfront。

Butofalltheworld’sgreatheroesThere’snonethatcancompare，Withatow-row-row-row-row-row，TotheBritishGrenadier！

ThemenoftheForeandAftweregatheringthickattheentranceintotheplain。TheBrigadierontheheightsfarabovewasspeechlesswithrage。Stillnomovementfromtheenemy。Thedaystayedtowatchthechildren。

JakinhaltedandbeatthelongrolloftheAssembly，whilethefifesquealeddespairingly。

"Rightaboutface！Holdup，Lew，you’redrunk，"saidJakin。Theywheeledandmarchedback：-

hoseheroesofantiquityNe’ersawacannon-ball，Norknewtheforceo’powder，"Heretheycome！"saidJakin。"Goon，Lew"：-

Toscaretheirfoeswithal！

TheForeandAftwerepouringoutofthevalley。Whatofficershadsaidtomeninthattimeofshameandhumiliationwillneverbeknown；forneitherofficersnormenspeakofitnow。

"Theyarecominganew！"shoutedapriestamongtheAfghans。"Donotkilltheboys！Takethemalive，andtheyshallbeofourfaith。"

Butthefirstvolleyhadbeenfired，andLewdroppedonhisface。

Jakinstoodforaminute，spunroundandcollapsed，astheForeandAftcameforward，thecursesoftheirofficersintheirears，andintheirheartstheshameofopenshame。

 Halfthemenhadseenthedrummersdie，andtheymadenosign。Theydidnotevenshout。Theydoubledoutstraightacrosstheplaininopenorder，andtheydidnotfire。

"This，"saidtheColonelofGoorkhas，softly，"istherealattack，asitshouldhavebeendelivered。Comeon，mychildren。"

"Ulu-lu-lu-lu！"squealedtheGoorkhas，andcamedownwithajoyfulclickingofkukris-thoseviciousGoorkhaknives。

Ontherighttherewasnorush。TheHighlanders，cannilycommendingtheirsoulstoGod（foritmattersasmuchtoadeadmanwhetherhehasbeenshotinaBorderscuffleoratWaterloo），openedoutandfiredaccordingtotheircustom，thatistosaywithoutheatandwithoutintervals，whilethescrew-guns，havingdisposedoftheimpertinentmudfortaforementioned，droppedshellaftershellintotheclustersroundtheflickeringgreenstandardsontheheights。

"Charrgingisanunfortunatenecessity，"murmuredtheColour-

SergeantoftherightcompanyoftheHighlanders。"Itmakesthemensweerso，butIamthinkin’thatitwillcometoacharrgeiftheseblackdevilsstandmuchlonger。Stewarrt，man，you’refiringintotheeyeofthesun，andhe’llnottakeanyharmforGovernmentammuneetion。Afootlowerandagreatdealslower！WhataretheEnglishdoing？They’reveryquiet，thereinthecenter。

Runningagain？"

TheEnglishwerenotrunning。Theywerehackingandhewingandstabbing，forthoughonewhitemanisseldomphysicallyamatchforanAfghaninasheepskinorwaddedcoat，yet，throughthepressureofmanywhitemenbehind，andacertainthirstforrevengeinhisheart，hebecomescapableofdoingmuchwithbothendsofhisrifle。TheForeandAftheldtheirfiretillonebulletcoulddrivethroughfiveorsixmen，andthefrontoftheAfghanforcegaveonthevolley。Theythenselectedtheirmen，andslewthemwithdeepgaspsandshorthackingcoughs，andgroaningsofleatherbeltsagainststrainedbodies，andrealisedforthefirsttimethatanAfghanattackedisfarlessformidablethananAfghanattacking；whichfactoldsoldiersmighthavetoldthem。

Buttheyhadnooldsoldiersintheirranks。

TheGoorkhas’stallatthebazarwasthenoisiest，forthemenwereengaged-toanastynoiseasofbeefbeingcutontheblock-withthekukri，whichtheypreferredtothebayonet；wellknowinghowtheAfghanhatesthehalf-moonblade。

AstheAfghanswavered，thegreenstandardsonthemountainmoveddowntoassisttheminalastrally。Thiswasunwise。TheLancers，chafingintherightgorge，hadthricedespatchedtheironlysubalternasgallopertoreportontheprogressofaffairs。Onthethirdoccasionhereturned，withabullet-grazeonhisknee，swearingstrangeoathsinHindustani，andsayingthatallthingswereready。SothatsquadronswungroundtherightoftheHighlanderswithawickedwhistlingofwindinthepennonsofitslances，andfellupontheremnantjustwhen，accordingtoalltherulesofwar，itshouldhavewaitedforthefoetoshowmoresignsofwavering。

Butitwasadaintycharge，deftlydelivered，anditendedbytheCavalryfindingitselfattheheadofthepassbywhichtheAfghansintendedtoretreat；anddownthetrackthatthelanceshadmadestreamedtwocompaniesoftheHighlanders，whichwasneverintendedbytheBrigadier。Thenewdevelopmentwassuccessful。Itdetachedtheenemyfromhisbaseasaspongeistornfromarock，andlefthimringedaboutwithfireinthatpitilessplain。Andasaspongeischasedroundthebath-tubbythehandofthebather，soweretheAfghanschasedtilltheybrokeintolittledetachmentsmuchmoredifficulttodisposeofthanlargemasses。

"See！"quoththeBrigadier。"EverythinghascomeasIarranged。

We’vecuttheirbase，andnowwe’llbucket’emtopieces。"

AdirecthammeringwasallthattheBrigadierhaddaredtohopefor，consideringthesizeoftheforceathisdisposal；butmenwhostandorfallbytheerrorsoftheiropponentsmaybeforgivenforturningChanceintoDesign。Thebucketingwentforwardmerrily。TheAfghanforceswereupontherun-therunofweariedwolveswhosnarlandbiteovertheirshoulders。Theredlancesdippedbytwosandthrees，and，withashriek，uprosethelance-

butt，likeasparonastormysea，asthetroopercanteringforwardclearedhispoint。TheLancerskeptbetweentheirpreyandthesteephills，forallwhocouldweretryingtoescapefromthevalleyofdeath。TheHighlandersgavethefugitivestwohundredyards’law，andthenbroughtthemdown，gaspingandchokingeretheycouldreachtheprotectionofthebouldersabove。TheGoorkhasfollowedsuit；buttheForeandAftwerekillingontheirownaccount，fortheyhadpennedamassofmenbetweentheirbayonetsandawallofrock，andtheflashoftherifleswaslightingthewaddedcoats。

"Wecannotholdthem，CaptainSahib！"pantedaRessaidarofLancers。"Letustrythecarbine。Thelanceisgood，butitwastestime。"

Theytriedthecarbine，andstilltheenemymeltedaway-fledupthehillsbyhundredswhentherewereonlytwentybulletstostopthem。Ontheheightsthescrew-gunsceasedfiring-theyhadrunoutofammunition-andtheBrigadiergroaned，forthemusketryfirecouldnotsufficientlysmashtheretreat。Longbeforethelastvolleyswerefired，thedoolieswereoutinforcelookingforthewounded。Thebattlewasover，and，butforwantoffreshtroops，theAfghanswouldhavebeenwipedofftheearth。Asitwas，theycountedtheirdeadbyhundreds，andnowherewerethedeadthickerthaninthetrackoftheForeandAft。

ButtheRegimentdidnotcheerwiththeHighlanders，nordidtheydanceuncouthdanceswiththeGoorkhasamongthedead。TheylookedundertheirbrowsattheColonelastheyleanedupontheirriflesandpanted。

"Getbacktocamp，you。Haven’tyoudisgracedyourselfenoughforoneday！Goandlooktothewounded。It’sallyou’refitfor，"

saidtheColonel。YetforthepasthourtheForeandAfthadbeendoingallthatmortalcommandercouldexpect。Theyhadlostheavilybecausetheydidnotknowhowtosetabouttheirbusinesswithproperskill，buttheyhadbornethemselvesgallantly，andthiswastheirreward。

AyoungandsprightlyColour-Sergeant，whohadbeguntoimaginehimselfahero，offeredhiswater-bottletoaHighlanderwhosetonguewasblackwiththirst。"Idrinkwithnocowards，"answeredtheyoungsterhuskily，and，turningtoaGoorkha，said，"Hya，Johnny！Drinkwatergotit？"TheGoorkhagrinnedandpassedhisbottle。TheForeandAftsaidnoword。

Theywentbacktocampwhenthefieldofstrifehadbeenalittlemoppedupandmadepresentable，andtheBrigadier，whosawhimselfaKnightinthreemonths，wastheonlysoulwhowascomplimentarytothem。TheColonelwasheartbroken，andtheofficersweresavageandsullen。

"Well，"saidtheBrigadier，"theyareyoungtroops，ofcourse，anditwasnotunnaturalthattheyshouldretireindisorderforabit。"

"Oh，myonlyAuntMaria！"murmuredajuniorStaffOfficer。

"Retireindisorder！Itwasaballyrun！"

"Buttheycameagain，asweallknow，"cooedtheBrigadier，theColonel’sashy-whitefacebeforehim，"andtheybehavedaswellascouldpossiblybeexpected。Behavedbeautifully，indeed。Iwaswatchingthem。It’snotamattertotaketoheart，Colonel。AssomeGermanGeneralsaidofhismen，theywantedtobeshootedoveralittle，thatwasall。"Tohimselfhesaid-"Nowthey’rebloodedIcangive’emresponsiblework。It’saswellthattheygotwhattheydid。’Teach’emmorethanhalfadozenrifleflirtations，thatwill-later-runaloneandbite。PooroldColonel，though。"

Allthatafternoontheheliographwinkedandflickeredonthehills，strivingtotellthegoodnewstoamountainfortymilesawayAndintheeveningtherearrived，dusty，sweating，andsore，amisguidedCorrespondentwhohadgoneouttoassistatatrumperyvillage-burning，andwhohadreadoffthemessagefromafar，cursinghisluckthewhile。

"Let’shavethedetailssomehow-asfullaseveryoucan，please。

It’sthefirsttimeI’veeverbeenleftthiscampaign，"saidtheCorrespondenttotheBrigadier；andtheBrigadier，nothingloth，toldhimhowanArmyofCommunicationhadbeencrumpledup，destroyed，andallbutannihilatedbythecraft，strategy，wisdom，andforesightoftheBrigadier。

Butsomesay，andamongthesebetheGoorkhaswhowatchedonthehillside，thatthatbattlewaswonbyJakinandLew，whoselittlebodieswereborneupjustintimetofittwogapsattheheadofthebigditch-graveforthedeadundertheheightsofJagai。

JUDSONANDTHEEMPIRE

Gloriana！TheDonmayattackusWheneverhisstomachbefain；

Hemustreachusbeforehecanrackus……

AndwherearethegalleonsofSpain？

Dobson。

Oneofthemanybeautiesofademocracyisitsalmostsuperhumanskillindevelopingtroubleswithothercountriesandfindingitshonourabradedintheprocess。AtruedemocracyhasalargecontemptforallotherlandsthataregovernedbyKingsandQueensandEmperors，andknowslittleandthinkslessoftheirinternalaffairs。Allitregardsisitsowndignity，whichisitsKing，Queen，andKnave。So，soonerorlater，aninternationaldifferenceendsinthecommonpeople，whohavenodignity，shoutingthecommonabuseofthestreet，whichalsohasnodignity，acrosstheseasinordertovindicatetheirowndignity。Theconsequencesmayormaynotbewar，butthechancesdonotfavourpeace。

AnadvantageinlivinginacivilisedlandwhichisreallygovernedliesinthefactthatalltheKingsandQueensandEmperorsofthecontinentarecloselyrelatedbybloodormarriage-are，infact，onelargefamily。Awiseheadofthemknowsthatwhatappearstobeastudiedinsultmaybenomorethansomeman’sindigestionorwoman’sindispositiontobetreatedassuch，andexplainedinquiettalk。Again，apopulardemonstration，headedbyKingandCourt，maymeannothingmorethanthatso-and-so’speopleareoutofhandfortheminute。Whenahorsefallstokickinginahunt-crowdatagate，theriderdoesnotdismount，butputshisopenhandbehindhim，andtheothersdrawaside。Itissowiththerulersofmen。Intheolddaystheycuredtheirownandtheirpeople’sbadtemperwithfireandslaughter；butnowthatthefireissolongofrangeandtheslaughtersolarge，theydootherthings，andfewamongtheirpeopleguesshowmuchtheyoweinmerelifeandmoneytowhattheslangoftheminutecalls"puppets"and"luxuries。"

OnceuponatimetherewasalittlePower，thehalf-bankruptwreckofaoncegreatempire，thatlostitstemperwithEngland，thewhipping-boyofalltheworld，andbehaved，aseveryoneknows，mostscandalously。ButitisnotgenerallyknownthatthatPowerfoughtapitchedbattlewithEnglandandwonagloriousvictory。

Thetroublebeganwiththepeople。Theirownmisfortuneshadbeenmany，andforprivaterageitisalwaysrefreshingtofindaventinpublicswearing。Theirnationalvanityhadbeendeeplyinjured，andtheythoughtoftheirancientgloriesandthedayswhentheirfleetshadfirstroundedtheCapeofStorms，andtheirownnewspaperscalleduponCamoensandurgedthemtoextravagances。Itwasthegross，smooth，sleek，lyingEnglandthatwascheckingtheircareerofcolonialexpansion。Theyassumedatoncethattheirrulerwasinleaguewiththatcountry，andconsequentlythey，hispeople，wouldforthwithbecomeaRepublicandcoloniallyexpandthemselvesasafreepeopleshould。Thismadeplain，thepeoplethrewstonesattheEnglishConsulsandspatatEnglishladies，andcutoffdrunkensailorsofourfleetintheirportsandhammeredthemwithoars，andmadethingsveryunpleasantfortouristsattheircustoms，andthreatenedawfuldeathstotheconsumptiveinvalidsatMadeira，whilethejuniorofficersoftheArmydrankfruit-extractsandenteredintoblood-curdlingconspiraciesagainsttheirmonarch，allwiththeobjectofbeingaRepublic。NowthehistoryofalltheSouthAmericanRepublicsshowsthatitisnotgoodthatSouthernEuropeansshouldbealsoRepublicans。Theyglidetooquicklyintomilitarydespotism；andtheproppingofmenagainstwallsandshootingthemindetachmentscanbearrangedmuchmoreeconomicallyandwithlesseffectonthedeath-ratebyahide-boundmonarchy。StilltheperformancesofthePowerasrepresentedbyitspeoplewereextremelyinconvenient。Itwasthekickinghorseinthecrowd，andprobablytheriderexplainedthathecouldnotcheckit。Thepeopleenjoyedallthegloryofwarwithnoneoftherisks，andthetouristswhowerestonedintheirtravelsreturnedstolidlytoEnglandandtoldthe"Times"thatthepolicearrangementsofforeigntownsweredefective。

ThisthenwasthestateofaffairsnorthoftheLine。Southitwasmorestrained，fortherethePowerswereatdirectissue：England，unabletogobackbecauseofthepressureofadventurouschildrenbehindher，andtheactionsoffar-awayadventurerswhowouldnotcometoheel，butofferingtobuyoutherrival；andtheotherPower，lackingmenormoney，stiffintheconvictionthatthreehundredyearsofslave-holdingandinterminglingwiththenearestnativesgaveaninalienablerighttoholdslavesandissuehalf-

castestoalleternity。Theyhadbuiltnoroads。Theirtownswererottingundertheirhands；theyhadnotradeworththefreightofacrazysteamer，andtheirsovereigntyranalmostonemusket-shotinlandwhenthingswerepeaceful。Fortheseveryreasonstheyragedallthemore，andthethingsthattheysaidandwroteaboutthemannersandcustomsoftheEnglishwouldhavedrivenayoungernationtothegunswithalongredbillforwoundedhonour。

ItwasthenthatFatesentdowninatwin-screwshallow-draftgunboat，designedforthedefenceofrivers，ofsometwohundredandseventytons’displacement，LieutenantHarrisonEdwardJudson，tobeknownforthefutureasBai-Jove-Judson。Histypeofcraftlookedexactlylikeaflat-ironwithamatchstuckupinthemiddle；itdrewfivefeetofwaterorless，carriedafour-inchgunforward，whichwastrainedbytheship，and，onaccountofitspersistentrolling，wastoliveinthreedegreesworsethanatorpedo-boat。WhenJudsonwasappointedtotakechargeofthethingonherlittletripofsixorseventhousandmilessouthward，hisfirstremarkashewenttolookheroverindockwas，"BaiJove，thattopmastwantsstayingforward！"Thetopmastwasastickaboutasthickasaclothes-prop，buttheflat-ironwasJudson’sfirstcommand，andhewouldnothaveexchangedhispositionforsecondpostonthe"Anson"orthe"Howe"。Henavigatedher，underconvoy，tenderlyandlovinglytotheCape（thestoryofthetopmastcamewithhim），andhewassoabsurdlyinlovewithhiswallowingwash-tubwhenhereportedhimself，thattheAdmiralofthestationthoughtitwouldbeapitytokillanewmanonher，andallowedJudsontocontinueinhisunenviedrule。

TheAdmiralvisitedheronceinSimon’sBay，andshewasbad，evenforaflat-irongunboatstrictlydesignedforriverandharbourdefence。Shesweatedclammydropsofdewbetweendecksinspiteofapreparationofpowderedcorkthatwassprinkledoverherinsidepaint。SherolledinthelongCapeswelllikeabuoy；herfoc’s’lewasadog-kennel；Judson’scabinwaspracticallyunderthewater-

line；notoneofherdead-bightscouldeverbeopened；andhercompasses，thankstotheinfluenceofthefour-inchgun，wereacuriosityevenamongAdmiraltycompasses。ButBai-Jove-Judsonwasradiantandenthusiastic。HehadevencontrivedtofillMr。

Davies，thesecond-classengine-roomartificer，whowashischiefengineer，withtheglowofhispassion。TheAdmiral，whorememberedhisownfirstcommand，whenprideforbadehimtoslackenoffasingleropeonadewynight，andhehadrackedhisriggingtopiecesinconsequence，lookedattheflat-ironkeenly。

Herfendersweredonealloverwithwhitesennitwhichwastrulywhite；herbiggunwasvarnishedwithabettercompositionthantheAdmiraltyallowed；thesparesightswerecasedascarefullyasthechronometers；thechocksforsparespars，twoofthem，weremadeoffour-inchBurmateakcarvedwithdragons’headsthatwasoneresultofBai-Jove-Judson’sexperienceswiththeNavalBrigadeintheBurmesewar；thebow-anchorwasvarnishedinsteadofbeingpainted，andtherewerechartsmorethantheAdmiraltyscalesupplied。TheAdmiralwaswellpleased，forhelovedaship’shusband-amanwhohadalittlemoneyofhisownandwaswillingtospenditonhiscommand。Judsonlookedathimhopefully。HewasonlyaJuniorNavigatingLieutenantundereightyears’standing。

HemightbekeptinSimon’sBayforsixmonths，andhisshipatseawashisdelight。Thedreamofhisheartwastoenlivenherdismalofficialgraywithalineofgold-leafandperhapsalittlescroll-workatherbluntbarge-likebows。

"There’snothinglikeafirstcommand，isthere？"saidtheAdmiral，readinghisthoughts。"Youseemtohaveratherqueercompasses，though。Bettergetthemadjusted。"

"It’snouse，sir，"saidJudson。"ThegunwouldthrowoutthePoleitself。But-butI’vegotthehangofmostoftheirweaknesses。"

"Willyoubegoodenoughtolaythatgunoverthirtydegrees，please？"Thegunwasputover。Roundandroundandroundwenttheneedlemerrily，andtheAdmiralwhistled。

"Youmusthavekeptclosetoyourconvoy？"

"SawhertwicebetweenhereandMadeira，sir，"saidJudsonwithaflush，forheresentedthesluronhisseamanship。"It’s-it’salittleoutofhand，now，butshe’llsettledownafterawhile。"

TheAdmiralwentovertheside，accordingtotherulesoftheService，buttheStaff-CaptainmusthavetoldtheothermenofthesquadroninSimon’sBay，fortheyoneandallmadelightoftheflat-ironformanydays。"Whatcanyoushakeoutofher，Judson？"

saidtheLieutenantofthe"Mongoose"，arealwhite-painted，ram-

bowgunboatwithquick-firingguns，ashecameintotheupperverandahofthelittlenavalCluboverlookingthedockyardonehotafternoon。ItisinthatClubasthecaptainscomeandgothatyouhearallthegossipofalltheSevenSeas。

"Tenpointfour，"saidBai-Jove-Judson。

"Ah！Thatwasonhertrialtrip。She’stoodeepbytheheadnow。I

toldyoustayingthattopmastwouldthrowheroutoftrim。"

"Youleavemytop-hamperalone，"saidJudson，forthejokewasbeginningtopallonhim。

"Oh，mysoul！Listentohim。Juddy’stop-hamper！Keate，haveyouheardoftheflat-iron’stop-hamper？You’retoleaveitalone。

CommodoreJudson’sfeelingsarehurt。"

KeatewastheTorpedoLieutenantofthebig"Vortigern"，andhedespisedsmallthings。"Histop-hamper，"saidheslowly。"Oh，ahyes，ofcourse。Juddy，there’sashoalofmulletinthebay，andI

thinkthey’refoulofyourscrews。Bettergodown，orthey’llcarryawaysomething。"

"Idon’tletthingscarryawayasarule。YouseeI’venoTorpedoLieutenantonboard，thankGod！"

Keatewithinthepastweekhadsomanagedtobungletheslinginginofasmalltorpedo-boatonthe"Vortigern"，thattheboathadbrokenthecrutchesinwhichsherested，andwasherselfbeingrepairedinthedockyardundertheClubwindows。

"Oneforyou，Keate。Nevermind，Juddy；you’reherebyappointeddockyard-tenderforthenextthreeyears，andifyou’reverygoodandthere’snoseaon，youshalltakemeroundtheharbour。

Waitabeechee，Commodore。What’llyoutake？Vanderhumforthe’Cookandthecaptainbold，Andthemateo’theNancybrig，Andthebo’suntight’（Juddy，putthatcuedownorI’llputyouunderarrestforinsultingthelieutenantoftherealship）’Andthemidshipmite，Andthecrewofthecaptain’sgig。"

BythistimeJudsonhadpinnedhiminacorner，andwasproddinghimwiththehalf-butt。TheAdmiral’sSecretaryentered，andsawthescufflefromafar。

"Ouch！Juddy，Iapologise。Takethat-ertopmastofyoursaway！

Here’sthemanwiththebow-string。IwishIwereastaff-captaininsteadofabloodylootenant。Sperrilsleepsbeloweverynight。

That’swhatmakesSperriltumblehomefromthewaistuppards。

Sperril，Idefyyoutotouchme。I’munderordersforZanzibar。

ProbablyIshallannexit！"

"Judson，theAdmiralwantstoseeyou！"saidtheStaff-Captain，disregardingthescofferofthe"Mongoose"。

"Itoldyouyou’dbeadockyard-tenderyet，Juddy。Asideoffreshbeefto-morrowandthreedozensnapperonice。Onice，youunderstand，Juddy？"

Bai-Jove-JudsonandtheStaff-Captainwentouttogether。

"Now，whatdoestheAdmiralwantwithJudson？"saidKeatefromthebar。

"Don’tknow。Juddy’sadamnedgoodfellow，though。IwishtogoodnesshewasontheMongoosewithus。"

TheLieutenantofthe"Mongoose"droppedintoachairandreadthemailpapersforanhour。ThenhesawBai-Jove-Judsoninthestreetandshoutedtohim。Judson’seyeswereverybright，andhisfigurewasheldverystraight，andhemovedjoyously。ExceptfortheLieutenantofthe"Mongoose"，theClubwasempty。

"Juddy，therewillbeabeautifulrow，"saidthatyoungmanwhenhehadheardthenewsdeliveredinanundertone。"You’llprobablyhavetofight，andyetIcan’tseewhattheAdmiral’sthinkingofto-"

"Myordersarenottofightunderanycircumstances，"saidJudson。

"Go-look-see？Thatall？Whendoyougo？"

"To-nightifIcan。Imustgodownandseeaboutthings。Isay，I

maywantafewmenfortheday。"

"Anythingonthe"Mongoose"isatyourservice。There’smygigcomeinnow。Iknowthatcoast，dead，drunk，orasleep，andyou’llneedalltheknowledgeyoucanget。Ifithadonlybeenustwotogether！Comeoverwithme！"

ForonewholehourJudsonremainedclosetedinthesterncabinofthe"Mongoose"，listening，poringoverchartuponchartandtakingnotes，andforanhourthemarineatthedoorheardnothingbutthingslikethese："Nowyou’llhavetoputinhereifthere’sanyseaon。Thatcurrentisridiculouslyunder-estimated，anditsetswestatthisseasonoftheyear，remember。Theirboatsnevercomesouthofthis，see？Soit’snogoodlookingoutforthem。"Andsoonandsoforth，whileJudsonlayatlengthonthelockerbythethree-pounder，andsmokedandabsorbeditall。

Nextmorningtherewasnoflat-ironinSimon’sBay，onlyalittlesmudgeofsmokeoffCapeHangkliptoshowthatMr。Davies，thesecond-classengine-roomartificer，wasgivingherallshecouldcarry。AttheAdmiral’shouse，theancientandretiredbo’sun，whohadseenmanyAdmiralscomeandgo，broughtouthispaintandbrushesandgaveanewcoatofpurerawpea-greentothetwobigcannon-ballsthatstoodoneoneachsideoftheAdmiral’sentrance-gate。Hefeltdimlythatgreateventswerestirring。

Andtheflat-iron，constructed，ashasbeenbeforesaid，solelyforthedefenseofrivers，metthegreatrolloffCapeAgulhasandwassweptfromendtoendandsatuponhertwin-screwsandleapedasgracefullyasacowinabogfromoneseatoanother，tillMr。

Daviesbegantofearforthesafetyofhisengines，andtheKrooboysthatmadethemajorityofthecrewweredeathlysick。Sheranalongaverybadly-lightedcoast，pastbaysthatwerenobays，whereuglyflat-toppedrockslayalmostlevelwiththewater，andverymanyextraordinarythingshappenedthathavenothingtodowiththestory，buttheywerealldulyloggedbyBai-Jove-Judson。

Atlastthecoastchangedandgrewgreenandlowandexceedinglymuddy，andtherewerebroadriverswhosebarswerelittleislandsstandingthreeorfourmilesoutatsea，andBai-Jove-Judsonhuggedtheshoremorecloselythanever，rememberingwhattheLieutenantofthe"Mongoose"hadtoldhim。Thenhefoundariverfullofthesmelloffeverandmud，withgreenstuffgrowingfarintoitswaters，andacurrentthatmadetheflatirongaspandgrunt。

"Wewillturnuphere，"saidBai-Jove-Judson，andtheyturnedupaccordingly；Mr。Davieswonderingwhatintheworlditallmeant，andtheKrooboysgrinning。Bai-Jove-Judsonwentforwardtothebowsandmeditated，staringthroughthemuddywaters。Aftersixhoursofrootingthroughthisdesolationatanaveragerateoffivemilesanhour，hiseyeswerecheeredbythesightofonewhitebuoyinthecoffee-huedmid-stream。Theflat-ironcreptuptoitcautiously，andaleadsmantooksoundingsallarounditfromadinghy，whileBai-Jove-Judsonsmokedandthought，withhisheadononeside。

"Aboutsevenfeet，isn’tthere？"saidhe。"Thatmustbethetailendoftheshoal。There’sfourfathominthefairway。Knockthatbuoydownwithaxes。Idon’tthinkit’spicturesquesomehow。"TheKroomenhackedthewoodensidestopiecesinthreeminutes，andthemooring-chainsankwiththelasstsplintersofwood。Bai-JoveJudsonlaidtheflat-ironcarefullyoverthesite，whileMr。

Davieswatched，bitinghisnailsnervously。

"Canyoubackheragainstthiscurrent？"saidBai-Jove-Judson。Mr。

Daviescould，inchbyinch，butonlyinchbyinch，andBai-Jove-

Judsonsatinthebowsandgazedatvariousthingsonthebankastheycameintolineoropenedout。Theflatirondroppeddownoverthetailoftheshoal，exactlywherethebuoyhadbeen，andbackedoncebeforeBai-Jove-Judsonwassatisfied。Thentheywentupstreamforhalfanhour，putintoshoalwaterbythebankandwaited，withaslip-ropeontheanchor。

"Seemstome，"saidMr。Daviesdeferentially，"likeasifIheardsomeonea-firingoffatintervals，sotosay。"

Therewasbeyonddoubtadullmutterintheair。"Seemstome，"

saidBai-Jove-Judson，"asifIheardascrew。Standbytosliphermoorings。"

Anothertenminutespassedandthebeatofenginesgrewplainer。

Thenroundthebendoftherivercamearemarkablyprettilybuiltwhite-paintedgunboatwithablueandwhiteflagbearingaredbossinthecentre。

"Unshackleabaftthewindlass！Streambothbuoys！Easy，astern。

Letgo，all！"Theslip-ropeflewout，thetwobuoysbobbedinthewatertomarkwhereanchorandcablehadbeenleft，andtheflat-

ironwaddledoutintomidstreamwiththewhiteensignatheronemast-head。

"Giveherallyoucan。Thatthinghasthelegsofus，"saidJudson。"Anddownwego！"

"It’swar-bloodywar。He’sgoingtofire，"saidMr。Davies，lookingupthroughtheengine-roomhatch。

Thewhitegunboatwithoutawordofexplanationfiredthreegunsattheflat-iron，cuttingthetreesonthebanksintogreenchips。

Bai-Jove-Judsonwasatthewheel，andMr。Daviesandthecurrenthelpedtheboattoanalmostrespectabledegreeofspeed。

Itwasanexcitingchase，butitdidnotlastformorethanfiveminutes。Thewhitegunboatfiredagain，andMr。Daviesinhisengine-roomgaveawildshout。

"What’sthematter？Hit？"saidBai-Jove-Judson。

"No，I’vejustseizedofyourroos-de-gare。Begy’pardon，sir。"

"Right0！Justthehalfafractionofapointmore。"Thewheelturnedunderthesteadyhand，asBai-Jove-Judsonwatchedhismarksonthebankcominginlineswiftlyastroopsanxioustoaid。Theflat-ironsmelttheshoalwaterunderher，checkedforaninstant，andwenton。"Nowwe’reover。Comealong，youthieves，there！"

Thewhitegunboat，toohurriedeventofire，wasstorminginthewakeoftheflat-iron，steeringasshesteered。Thiswasunfortunate，becausethelightercraftwasdeadoverthemissingbuoy。

"Whatyoudohere？"shoutedavoicefromthebows。

"I’mgoingon。Holdtight。Nowyou’rearrangedfor！"

Therewasacrashandaclatterasthewhitegunboat’snosetooktheshoal，andthebrownmudboiledupinoozycirclesunderherforefoot。Thenthecurrentcaughtherstembythestarboardsideanddroveherbroadsideontotheshoal，slowlyandgracefully。

Theresheheeledatanundignifiedangle，andhercrewyelledaloud。

"Neat！Oh，damnneat！"quothMr。Davies，dancingontheengine-

roomplates，whiletheKroostokersgrinned。

Theflat-ironturnedup-streamagain，andpassedunderthehove-upstarboardsideofthewhitegunboat，tobereceivedwithhowlsandimprecationsinastrangetongue。Thestrandedboat，exposedeventoherlowerstrakes，wasasdefence-lessasaturtleonitsback，withouttheadvantageoftheturtle’splating。Andtheonebigbluntguninthebowsoftheflat-ironwasunpleasantlynear。

Butthecaptainwasvaliantandsworemightily。Bai-Jove-Judsontooknosortofnotice。Hisbusinesswastogouptheriver。

"Wewillcomeinaflotillaofboatsandecrazeryourviletricks，"saidthecaptainwithlanguagethatneednotbepublished。

ThensaidBai-Jove-Judson，whowasalinguist："Youstayowhereyouareo，orI’llleaveahole-oinyourbottomothatwillmakeyoumuchosperforatados。"

Therewasagreatdealofmixedlanguageinreply，butBai-Jove-

Judsonwasoutofhearinginafewminutes，andMr。Davies，himselfamanoffewwords，confidedtooneofhissubordinatesthatLieutenantJudsonwas"amostremarkablepromptofficerinawayofputtingit。"

Fortwohourstheflat-ironpawedmadlythroughthemuddywater，andthatwhichhadbeenatfirstamutterbecameadistinctrumble。

"Waswardeclared？"saidMr。Davies，andBai-Jove-Judsonlaughed。

"Then，damnhiseyes，hemighthavespoiltmyprettylittleengines。There’swarupthere，though。"

Thenextbendbroughtthemfullinsightofasmallbutlivelyvillage，builtroundawhitewashedmudhouseofsomepretensions。

Therewerescoresandscoresofsaddle-colouredsoldieryonduty，whiteuniformsrunningtoandfroandshoutingroundamaninalitter，andonagentleslopethatraninlandforfourorfivemilessomethinglikeabriskbattlewasragingroundarudestockade。AsmellofunburiedcarcassesfloatedthroughtheairandvexedthesensitivenoseofMr。

Davies，whospatovertheside。

"Iwanttogetthisgunonthathouse，"saidBai-Jove-Judson，indicatingthesuperiordwellingoverwhoseflatrooffloatedtheblueandwhiteflag。Thelittletwinscrewskickedupthewaterexactlyasahen’slegskickinthedustbeforeshesettlesdowntoabath。Thelittleboatmoveduneasilyfromlefttoright，backed，yawedagain，wentahead，andatlastthegraybluntgun’snosewasheldasstraightasarifle-barrelonthemarkindicated。ThenMr。DaviesallowedthewhistletospeakasitisnotallowedtospeakinHerMajesty’sserviceonaccountofwasteofsteam。Thesoldieryofthevillagegatheredintoknotsandgroupsandbunches，andthefiringupthehillceased，andeveryoneexceptthecrewoftheflatironyelledaloud。SomethinglikeanEnglishcheercamedownwind。

"Ourchapsinmischiefforsure，probably，"saidMr。Davies。"Theymusthavedeclaredwarweeksago，inakindofway，seemstome。"

"Holdhersteady，yousonofasoldier！"shoutedBai-Jove-Judson，asthemuzzlefelloffthewhitehouse。

Somethingrangasloudlyasaship’sbellontheforwardplatesoftheflat-iron，somethingsplutteredinthewater，andanotherthingcutagrooveinthedeckplankinganinchinfrontofBai-

Jove-Judson’sleftfoot。Thesaddle-colouredsoldierywerefiringasthemoodtookthem，andthemaninthelitterwavedashiningsword。Themuzzleofthebiggunkickeddownafractionasitwaslaidonthemudwallatthebottomofthehousegarden。Tenpoundsofgunpowdershutupinahundredpoundsofmetalwasitscharge。

Threeorfouryardsofthemudwalljumpedupalittle，asamanjumpswhenheiscaughtinthesmallofthebackwithaknee-cap，andthenfellforward，spreadingfan-wiseinthefall。Thesoldieryfirednomorethatday，andJudsonsawanoldblackwomanclimbtotheflatroofofthehouse。Shefumbledforatimewiththeflaghalliards，thenfindingthattheywerejammed，tookoffheronegarment，whichhappenedtobeanIsabella-colouredpetticoat，andwaveditimpatiently。Themaninthelitterflourishedawhitehandkerchief，andBai-Jove-Judsongrinned。"Nowwe’llgive’emoneupthehill。Roundwithher，Mr。Davies。Cursethemanwhoinventedthosefloatinggunplatforms。WherecanI

pitchinanoticewithoutslayingoneofthoselittledevils？"

Thesideoftheslopewasspeckledwithmenreturninginadisorderlyfashiontotheriverfront。Behindthemmarchedasmallbutverycompactbodyofmenwhohadfiledoutofthestockade。

Theselastdraggedquick-firinggunswiththem。

"BaiJove，it’saregulararmy。Iwonderwhose，"saidBai-Jove-

Judson，andhewaiteddevelopments。Thedescendingtroopsmetandmixedwiththetroopsinthevillage，and，withthelitterinthecentre，crowdeddowntotheriver，tillthemenwiththequick-

firinggunscameupbehindthem。Thentheydividedleftandrightandthedetachmentmarchedthrough。

"Heavethesedamnedthingsover！"saidtheleaderoftheparty，andoneafteranothertenlittlegatlingssplashedintothemuddywater。Theflatironlayclosetothebank。

"Whenyou’requitedone，"saidBai-Jove-Judsonpolitely，"wouldyoumindtellingmewhat’sthematter？I’minchargehere。"

"We’rethePioneersoftheGeneralDevelopmentCompany，"saidtheleader。"Theselittleboundershavebeenhammeringusinlagerfortwelvehours，andwe’regettingridoftheirgatlings。Hadtoclimboutandtakethem；butthey’vesnaffledthelock-actions。

Gladtoseeyou。"

"Anyonehurt？"

"Noonekilledexactly，butwe’reverydry。"

"Canyouholdyourmen？"

Themanturnedroundandlookedathiscommandwithagrin。Therewereseventyofthem，alldustyandunkempt。

"Wesha’n’tsackthisash-bin，ifthat’swhatyoumean。We’remostlygentlemenhere，thoughwedon’tlookit。"

"Allright。Sendtheheadofthispost，orfort，orvillage，orwhateveritis，aboard，andmakewhatarrangementsyoucanforyourmen。"

"We’llfindsomebarrackaccommodationsomewhere。Hullo！Youinthelitterthere，goaboardthegunboat。"Thecommandwheeledround，pushedthroughthedislocatedsoldiery，andbegantosearchthroughthevillageforsparehuts。

Thelittlemaninthelittercameaboardsmilingnervously。Hewasinthefullestoffulluniform，withmanyyardsofgoldlaceanddanglingchains。Alsoheworeverylargespurs；thenearesthorsebeingnotmorethanfourhundredmilesaway。"Mychildren，"saidhe，facingthesilentsoldiery，"layasideyourarms。"

Mostofthemenhaddroppedthemalreadyandweresittingdowntosmoke。"Letnothing，"headdedinhisowntongue，"temptyoutokillthesewhohavesoughtyourprotection。"

"Now，"saidBai-Jove-Judson，onwhomthelastremarkwaslost，"willyouhavethegoodnesstoexplainwhatthedeuceyoumeanbyallthisnonsense？"

"Itwasofanecessitate，"saidthelittleman。"Theoperationsofwarareunconformible。IamtheGovernorandIoperateCaptain。

Be’oldmylittlesword。"

"Confoundyourlittlesword，sir。Idon’twantit。You’vefiredonourflag。You’vebeenfiringatourpeoplehereforaweek，andI’vebeenfiredatcominguptheriver。"

"Ah！The’Guadala’。Shehavemisconstruedyouforaslaverpossibly。Howarethe’Guadala’？"

"MistookashipofHerMajesty’snavyforaslaver！Youmistakeanycraftforaslaver！BaiJove，sir，I’veagoodmindtohangyouattheyard-arm！"

Therewasnothingnearerthatterriblesparthanthewalking-stickintherackofJudson’scabin。TheGovernorlookedattheonemastandsmiledadeprecatingsmile。

"Thepositionisembarrassment，"hesaid。"Captain，doyouthinkthoseillustrioustradersburnmycapital？Mypeoplewillgivethembeer。"

"Nevermindthetraders，Iwantanexplanation。"

"Hum！TherearepopularuprisinginEurope，Captain-inmycountry。"Hiseyewanderedaimlesslyroundthehorizon。

"Whathasthattodowith-"

"Captain，youareveryyoung。Thereisstilluproariment。ButI"-

hereheslappedhischesttillhisepauletsjingled-"Iamloyalisttopitsofallmystomachs。"

"Goon，"saidJudson，andhismouthquivered。

"Anorderarrivetometoestablishacustom-houseshere，andtocollectofthetaximentfromthetraderswhenshearecomeherenecessarily。Thatwasonaccountofpoliticalunderstandingswithyourcountryandmine。Butonthatarrangementtherewasnomoneyalso。Notonedamnlittlecowrie。Idesiredamnablytoextendallcommercialthings，andwhy？Iamloyalistandthereisrebellion-

yes，Itellyou-Republicsinmycountryfortojustbegin。Youdonotbelieve？Seesometimehowitexist。Icannotmakethiscustom-housesandpaythesohigh-paidofficials。ThepeopletooinmycountrytheysaythekingshehasnoregardanceintoHonourofhernation。Hethrowawayeverything-Gladstoneherall，yousay，pay？"

"Yes，that’swhatwesay，"saidJudsonwithagrin。

"Thereforetheysay，letusbeRepublicsonhotcakes。ButI-I

amloyalisttoallmyhands’ends。Captain，onceIwasattach？atMexico。IsaytheRepublicsarenogood。Thepeopleshaveherstomachhigh。Theydesire-theydesire-acourseforthebills。"

"Whatonearthisthat？"

"Thecock-fightforpayatthegate。Yougivesomething，payforseebloodyrow。DoImakeitscomprehension？"

"Arunfortheirmoney-isthatwhatyoumean？Gad，you’resporting，Governor。"

"SoIsay。Iamloyalist，too。"Hesmiledmoreeasily。"Nowhowcananythingdoherselfforthecustoms-houses；butwhentheCompany’smensshearrives，thenacock-fightforpayatgatethatisquitecorrect。MyarmyhesaysitwillRepublicandshootmeoffuponwallsifIhavenotgiveherblood。Anarmy，Captain，areterribleinherangries-especialmentwhenshearenotpaid。I

know，too，"herehelaidhishandonJudson’sshoulder，"Iknowtooweareoldfriends。Yes！Badajos，Almeida，Fuentesd’Onor-

timeeversince；andalittle，littlecock-fightforpayatgatethatisgoodformyking。Moresithertightonthronebehind，yousee？Now，"hewavedhishandroundthedecayedvillage，"Isaytomyarmies，Fight！FighttheCompany’smenwhenshecome，butfightnotsoverystrongthatyouareanydeads。ItisallintheraportathatIsend。Butyouunderstand，Captain，wearegoodfriendsallthetime。Ah！CiudadRodrigo，youremember？No？

Perhapsyourfather，then？Soyouseenoonearedeads，andwefightafight，anditisallintheraporta，topleasethepeopleinourcountry，andmyarmiestheydonotputmeagainstthewalls。Yousee？"

"Yes；butthe’Guadala’。Shefiredonus。Wasthatpartofyourgame，myjoker？"

"The’Guadala’。Ah！No，Ithinknot。Hercaptainheistoobigfool。ButIthinkshehavegonedownthecoast。Thoseyourgunboatspokehernoseandshoveheroarineveryplace。Howis’Guadala’？"

"Onashoal。StucktillItakeheroff。"

"Thereareanydeads？"

"No。"

TheGovernordrewabreathofdeeprelief。"Therearenodeadshere。Soyouseenonearedeadsanywhere，andnothingisdone。