第5章
HegripesmythroattothatdegreeIcan"thistalonsbear；
Andifyoudonotholdhishands，He"llthrottleme，Ifear。
AtthisabutcherofthetownStepsuptoRalphinire，-
What，willyousqueezehisgulletthrough，Yousonofbloodandfire？
YouaretheDevil"sinstrumentToexecutethelaws；
What，willyoumurtherthepoormanWithyourphanatickclaws？
Atwhichthesquirequitshishold，Andluggingouthisblade，Fullatthesturdybutcher"spateAfuriousstrokehemade。
AdismaloutcrythenbeganAmongthecountryfolk；
WhoallconcludethebutcherslainBysuchamortalstroke。
Butheregoodfortune，thathasstillAfriendshipforthebrave，I"th"nickmisguidesthefatalblow，Anddoesthebutchersave。
Theknight，whoheardthenoisewithin，Runsoutwithmightandmain，AndseeingRalphamidstthecrowdIndangertobeslain，WithoutregardtoageorsexOldbasket-hiltsoply"d，ThatinaninstantthreeorfourLaybleedingathisside。
AndgreatermischiefsinhisrageThisfuriousknighthaddone，IfhehadnotpreventedbeenByDick，theblacksmith"sson，Whocatch"dhisworshiponthehip，Andgavehimsuchasquelch，ThathesomemomentsbreathlesslayErehewasheardtobelch。
Norwasthesquireinbettercase，Bysturdybutcherply"d，WhofromtheshouldertotheflankHadsoundlyswingedhishide。
Whilstthingsinthisconfusionstood，Andknightandsquiredisarm"d，UpcomesaneighbouringgentlemanTheoutcryhadalarm"d；
Whoridingupamongthecrowd，Thevicarfirsthespy"d，WithsleevelessgownandbloodybandAndhandsbehindhimty"d。
Blessme，sayshe，whatmeansallthis？
Thenturningroundhiseyes，Inthesameplight，orinaworse，Thecobblerbleedingspies。
Andlookingfurtherroundhesaw，Likeoneindolefuldump，Theknight，amidstagapingmob，Sitpensiveonhisrump。
AndbyhissidelayRalphhissquire，Whombutcherfellhadmaul"d；
Whobitterlybemoan"dhisfate，Andforasurgeoncall"d。
Surprisedatfirsthepausedawhile，Andthenaccoststheknight，-
Whatmakesyouhere，SirSamuel，Inthisunhappyplight？
Atthistheknightgave"sbreastathump，Andstretchingouthishand，-
Ifyouwillpullmeup，hecried，I"lltryifIcanstand。
AndthenI"llletyouknowthecause；
ButfirsttakecareofRalph，WhoinmygoodorillsuccessDothalwaysstandmyhalf。
Inshort，hegothisworshipupAndledhiminthedoor；
WhereheatlengthrelatesthetaleAsIhavetoldbefore。
Whenhehadheardthestoryout，Thegentlemanreplies，-
Itisnotinmyprovince，sir，Yourworshiptoadvise。
ButwereIinyourworship"splace，TheonlythingI"ddo，Wasfirsttoreprimandthefools，Andthentoletthemgo。
IthinkitfirstadvisableTotakethemfromtherabble，AndletthemcomeandbothsetforthTheoccasionofthesquabble。
ThisistheVicar，Sir，ofBray，Amanofnorepute，Thescornandscandalofhistribe，Aloose，ill-manner"dbrute。
Thecobbler"sapoorstrollingwretchThatmendsmyservants"shoes；
AndoftencallsashegoesbyTobringmecountrynews。
Atthishisworshipgrip"dhisbeard，Andinanangrymood，SworebythelawsofchivalryThatbloodrequiredblood。
Besides，I"mbytheCommonwealthEntrustedtochastiseAllknavesthatstraggleupanddownToraisesuchmutinies。
However，since"tisyourrequest，Theyshallbecall"dandheard；
ButneitherRalphnorIcangrantSuchrascalsshouldbeclear"d。
Andso，towindthetaleupshort，Theywerecall"dintogether；
Andbythegentlemenwereask"dWhatwind"twasblewthemthither。
GoodaleandhandsomelandladiesYoumighthavenearerhome；
Andtherefore"tisforsomethingmoreThatyousofararecome。
Towhichthevicaranswer"dfirst，-
Mylivingissosmall，ThatIamforcedtostrollaboutTotryandgetacall。
And，quoththecobbler，IamforcedToleavemywifeanddwelling，T"escapethedangerofbeingpress"dTogoacolonelling。
There"smanyanhonestjovialladUnwarilydrawnin，ThatIhavereasontosuspectWillscarcegetoutagain。
Theproverbsays，HARMWATCHHARMCATCH，I"lloutofdangerkeep，ForhethatsleepsinawholeskinDothmostsecurelysleep。
MybusinessistomendbadsoalsAndstitchupbrokenquarters：
Acobbler"snamewouldlookbutoddAmongalistofmartyrs。
Faith，cobbler，quoththegentleman，Andthatshallbemycase；
Iwillneitherpartyjoin，Letwhatwillcometopass。
NoimportunitiesorthreatsMyfixtresolvesshallrest；
Comehere，SirSamuel，where"shishealthThatlovesoldEnglandbest。
IpitythoseunhappyfoolsWho，eretheywereaware，DesigningandambitiousmenHavedrawnintoasnare。
But，vicar，tocometothecase，-
Amidstasenselesscrowd，Whaturgedyoutosuchviolence，Andmadeyoutalksoloud？
PassionI"msuredoesillbecomeYourcharacterandcloath，And，tho"thecausebene"ersojust，Bringsscandaluponboth。
Vicar，Ispeakitwithregret，AninadvertentpriestRendershimselfridiculous，Andeverybody"sjest。
ThevicartobethusrebukedAlittletimestoodmute；
Buthavinggulp"dhispassiondown，Replies，-ThatcobblingbruteHastreatedmewithsuchcontempt，Suchvileexpressionsused，ThatInolongercouldforbearTohearmyselfabused。
TherascalhadtheinsolenceTogivehimselfthelie，Andtoaverh"haddonemoregoodAndsavedmoresoalsthanI。
Nay，further，Sir，thismiscreantTotellmewassobold，Ourtradeswereverynearofkin，Buthiswasthemoreold。
Now，Sir，IwilltoyouappealOnsuchaprovocation，IftherewasnotsufficientcauseTousealittlepassion？
Now，quoththecobbler，withyourleave，I"llproveittohisface，Allthisismeresuggestion，Andforeigntothecase。
AndsincehecallssomanynamesAndtalkssoveryloud，Iwillbeboundtomakeitplain"Twashethatraisedthecrowd。
Nay，further，Iwillmake"tappearHeandthepriestshavedoneMoremischiefthanthecobblersfarAlloverChristendom。
AllEuropegroansbeneaththeiryoke，AndpoorGreatBritainowesTothemherpresentmiseries，Anddreadoffuturewoes。
ThepriestsofallreligionsareAndwillbestillthesame，Andall，tho"inadifferentway，Areplayingthesamegame。
Atthisthegentlemanstoodup，-
Cobbler，youruntoofast；
BythuscondemningallthetribeYougobeyondyourlast。
Muchmischiefhasbypriestsbeendone，Andmoreisdoingstill；
ButthentocensureallalikeMustbeexceedingill。
Toomany，Imustneedsconfess，Aremightilytoblame，WhobytheirwickedpracticesDisgracetheveryname。
But，cobbler，stillthemajorpartTheminorshouldconclude；
Toargueatanotherrate"sImpertinentandrude。
BythistimealltheneighboursroundWereflock"daboutthedoor，Andsomewereonthevicar"sside，Butonthecobbler"smore。
Amongtherestagrazier，whoHadlatelybeenattownTosellhisoxenandhissheep，Brim-fullofnewscamedown。
Quothhe，Thepriestshavepreach"dandpray"d，Andmadesodamn"dapother，ThatallthepeoplearerunmadTomurtheroneanother。
BytheircontrivancesandartsThey"veplay"dtheirgamesolong，Thatnomanknowswhichsideisright，Orwhichisinthewrong。
I"msureI"veSmithfieldmarketusedFormorethantwentyyear，ButneverdidsuchmurmuringsAnddreadfuloutcrieshear。
Someforachurch，andsomeatub，Andsomeforbothtogether；
Andsome，perhapsthegreaterpart，Havenoregardforeither。
Someforaking，andsomefornone；
AndsomehavehankeringsTomendtheCommonwealth，andmakeAnempireofallkings。
What"sworse，oldNollismarchingoff，AndDick，hisheir-apparent，Succeedshiminthegovernment，Averylamevicegerent。
He"llreignbutlittletime，poorfool，ButsinkbeneaththeState，Thatwillnotfailtoridethefool"Bovecommonhorseman"sweight。
Andrulers，whentheylosethepower，Likehorsesoverweigh"d，Musteitherfallandbreaktheirknees，Orelseturnperfectjade。
ThevicartobetwicerebukedNolongercouldcontain；
Butthusreplies，-ToknaveslikeyouAllargumentsarevain。
TheChurchmustuseherarmofflesh，Theotherwillnotdo；
TheclergywastetheirbreathandtimeOnmiscreantslikeyou。
Youaresostubbornandsoproud，Sodullandprepossest，ThatnoinstructionscanprevailHowwellsoe"eraddrest。
Whowouldreformsuchreprobates，Mustdrubthemsoundlyfirst；
IknownootherwaybutthatTomakethemwiseorjust。
Fie，vicar，fie，hispatronsaid，Surethatisnottheway；
YoushouldinstructyourauditorsTosufferorobey。
ThosewerethedoctrinesthatofoldThelearnedfatherstaught；
And"twasbythemtheChurchatfirstWastoperfectionbrought。
Come，vicar，layyourfeudsaside，Andcalmlytakeyourcup；
AndletustryinfriendlywiseTomakethematterup。
That"scertainlythewisercourse，Andbettertoobyfar；
AllmenofprudencestrivetoquenchThesparksofcivilwar。
ByfuriousheatsandilladviceOurneighboursareundone，ThenletustimelycautiontakeFromtheirdestruction。
Ifwewouldturnourheadsabout，Andlooktowardsforty-one，WesoonshouldseewhatlittlejarsThosecruelwarsbegun。
Aone-eyedcobblerthenwasoneOfthatrebelliouscrew，ThatdidinCharlesthemartyr"sbloodTheirwickedhandsimbrue。
ImentionthisnottodefaceThiscobbler"sreputation，WhomIhavealwayshonestfound，Andusefulinhisstation。
ButthisIurgetoletyouseeThedangerofafightBetweenacobblerandapriest，Thoughhewerene"ersoright。
Thevicarsareanumeroustribe，Soarethecobblerstoo；
Andifageneralquarrelrise，Whatmustthecountrydo？
OuroutwardandourinwardsoalsMustquicklywantrepair；
AndalltheneighbourhoodaroundWouldthemisfortuneshare。
Sir，quoththegrazier，IbelieveOuroutwardsoalsindeedMayquicklywantthecobbler"shelpTobefromleakingsfreed。
Butforourinwardsouls，IthinkThey"reofaworthtoogreatTobecommittedtothecareOfanyholycheat，WhoonlyserveshisGodforgain，Religionishistrade；
And"tisbysuchastheseourChurchSoscandalousismade。
WhyshouldItrustmysoulwithoneThatpreaches，swears，andprays，AndthenextmomentcontradictsHimselfinallhesays？
HissolemnoathshelooksuponAsonlywordsofcourse！
WhichliketheirwivesourfatherstookForbetterorforworse。
Buthetakesoathsassometakew-s，Onlytoservehisease；
Androguesandw-s，itiswellknown，Maypartwhene"ertheyplease。
Atthisthecobblerboldergrew，Andstoutlythusreply"d，-
Ifyou"resogoodatdrubbing，Sir，Yourmanhoodshallbetry"d。
WhatIhavesaidIwillmaintain，Andfurtherprovewithal-
IdailydomoregoodthanyouInmyrespectivecall。
Iknowyourcharacter，quothhe，Youproudinsultingvicar，WhoonlyhuffanddomineerAndquarrelinyourliquor。
Thehonestgentleman，whosaw"Twouldcomeagaintoblows，Commandsthecobblertoforbear，Andtothevicargoes。
Vicar，sayshe，forshamegiveo"erAndmitigateyourrage；
YouscandalizeyourclothtoomuchAcobblertoengage。
Allpeople"seyesareonyourtribe，AndeverylittleillTheymultiplyandaggravateAndwillbecausetheywill。
Butnowlet"scallanothercause，Soletthishealthgoround；
Bepeaceandplenty，truthandright，IngoodoldEnglandfound。
QuothRalph，AllthisisemptytalkAndonlytendstolaughter；
Ifthesetwovarletsshouldbespared，Who"dpityushereafter？
Yourworshipmaydowhatyouplease，ButI"llhavesatisfactionFordrubbingandfordamagesInthisungodlyaction。
IthinkthatyoucandonolessThansendthemtothestocks；
AndI"llassisttheconstableInfixingintheirhocks。
Therelet"emsitandfightitout，Orscoldtilltheyarefriends；
Or，whatisbettermuchthanboth，TillIammadeamends。
Ralph，quoththeknight，that"swelladvised，Letthembothhithergo，Andyouandthesub-magistrateTakecarethatitbeso。
Letthembelock"dinfacetoface，Barebuttocksontheground；
AndlettheminthatposturesitTilltheywithuscompound。
Thusfixt，wellleavethemforatime，Whilstwewithgriefrelate，HowatawakethisknightandsquireGoteachabrokenpate。
Ballad：TheGenevaBalladFromSamuelButler"sPosthumousWorks。
OfallthefactionsinthetownMovedbyFrenchspringsorFlemishwheels，Noneturnsreligionupsidedown，Ortearspretencesoutatheels，LikeSPLAYMOUTHwithhisbraceofcaps，Whoseconsciencemightbescann"dperhapsBythedimensionsofhischaps；
Hewhomthesistersdoadore，Countinghisactionsalldivine，Whowhenthespirithintscanroar，And，ifoccasionserves，canwhine；
Nay，hecanbellow，bray，orbark；
WaseverSIKEABEAUK-LEARN"DclerkThatspeaksalllinguasoftheark？
Todrawthehornetsinlikebees，Withpleasingtwangshetoneshisprose；
Hegiveshishandkerchiefasqueeze，AnddrawsJohnCalvinthro"hisnose；
Motiveonmotiveheobtrudes，Withslip-stockingsimilitudes，Eightusesmore，andsoconcludes。
Whenmonarchybegantobleed，Andtreasonhadafinenewname；
WhenThameswasbalderdash"dwithTweed，Andpulpitsdidlikebeaconsflame；
WhenJeroboam"scalveswererear"d，AndLaudwasneitherlovednorfear"d，Thisgospel-cometfirstappear"d。
Soonhisunhallow"dfingersstriptHissovereign-liegeofpowerandland；
And，havingsmotehismaster，sliptHisswordintohisfellow"shand；
ButhethatwearshiseyesmaynoteOft-timesthebutcherbindsagoat，Andleaveshisboytocutherthroat。
PoorEnglandfelthisfurythenOutweigh"dQueenMary"smanygrains；
HisverypreachingslewmoremenThanBonnar"sfaggots，stakes，andchains：
Withdog-starzeal，andlungslikeBoreas，Hefought，andtaught，and，what"snotorious，Destroy"dhisLordtomakehimglorious。
YetdrewforKingandParliament，Asifthewindcouldstandnorth-south；
BrokeMoses"lawwithblestintent，Murther"d，andthenhewipedhismouth：
Oblivionaltersnothiscase，NorclemencynoractsofgraceCanblanchanEthiopian"sface。
Ripeforrebellion，hebeginsTorallyupthesaintsinswarms；
Hebawlsaloud，Sir，leaveyoursins，Butwhispers，Boys，standtoyourarms：
Thushe"sgrowninsolentlyrude，Thinkinghisgodscan"tbesubdued-
MONEY，Imean，andMULTITUDE。
MagistratesheregardsnomoreThanStGeorgeortheKingofColon，Vowinghe"llnotconformbeforeTheoldwiveswindtheirdeadinwoollen：
Hecallsthebishopgray-hair"dcoff，AndmakeshispowerasmereascoffAsDagonwhenhishandswereoff。
Hark！howheopenswithfullcry，Halloo，myhearts，bewareofRome！
CowardsthatareafraidtodieThusmakedomesticbrawlsathome。
HowquietlygreatCharlesmightreign，WouldalltheseHotspurscrossthemainAndpreachdownPoperyinSpain。
ThestarryruleofHeavenisfixt，There"snodissensioninthesky；
Andcantherebeameanbetwixt，Confusionandconformity？
Aplacedividedneverthrives，"Tisbadwhenhornetsdwellinhives，Butworsewhenchildrenplaywithknives。
Iwouldassoonturnbacktomass，OrchangemypraisetoTHEEandTHOU；
LetthePoperidemelikeanass，Andhispriestsmilkmelikeacow！
AsbuckletoSmectymnianlaws，Thebadeffectso"th"GoodoldCause，Thathavedove"splumes，butvulture"sclaws。
For"twastheholyKirkthatnursed，TheBrownistsandtheranters"crew；
Foulerror"smotleyvesturefirstWasoaded（98）inanorthernblue；
Andwhat"sth"enthusiastickbreed，OrmenofKnipperdolin"screed，ButCov"nantersrunuptoseed！
YettheyallcrytheylovetheKing，Andmakeboastoftheirinnocence：
TherecannotbesovileathingButmaybecover"dwithpretence；
Yetwhenall"ssaid，onethingI"llswear，Nosubjectliketh"oldCavalier，NotraytorlikeJACK-PRESBYTER。
Ballad：TheDevil"sProgressOnEarth，OrHuggleDuggleFromDurfey"s"PillstoPurgeMelancholy。"
FRIERBACONwalksagain，AndDoctorFORSTER（99）too；
PROSPERINEandPLUTO，Andmanyagoblincrew：
Withthatamerrydevil，TomaketheAIRING，vow"d；
HuggleDuggle，Ha！ha！ha！
TheDevillaugh"daloud。
Whythinkyouthathelaugh"d？
Forsoothhecamefromcourt；
AndthereamongstthegallantsHadspy"dsuchprettysport；
Therewassuchcunningjugling，Andladysgonsoproud；
HuggleDuggle，etc。
WiththatintothecityAwaytheDevilwent；
Toviewthemerchants"dealingsItwashisfullintent：
AndtherealongthebraveExchangeHecreptintothecroud。
HuggleDuggle，etc。
HewentintothecityToseealltherewaswell；
Theirscaleswerefalse，theirweightswerelight，Theirconsciencefitforhell；
AndPANDERSchosenmagistrates，AndPURITANSallow"d。
HuggleDuggle，etc。
WiththatuntothecountryAwaytheDevilgoeth；
Forthereisallplaindealing，ForthattheDevilknoweth：
ButtherichmanreapsthegainsForwhichthepoormanplough"d。
HuggleDuggle，etc。
WiththattheDevilinhasteTookpostawaytohell，Andcall"dhisfellowfuries，Andtoldthemallonearthwaswell：
Thatfalsehoodtheredidflourish，Plaindealingwasinacloud。
HuggleDuggle，Ha！ha！ha！
Thedevilslaugh"daloud。
Ballad：ABottleDefinitionOfThatFallenAngel，CalledAWhigFromacollectionofHistoricalandStatePoems，Satyrs，Songs，andEpigrams，byNedWard，A。D。1717。
WhatisaWhig？AcunningrogueThatoncewasin，nowoutofvogue：
ArebeltotheChurchandthrone，OfLucifertheveryspawn。
Atyrant，whoisne"eratrestInpower，orwhenhe"sdispossess"d；
Aknave，whofoolishlyhaslostWhatsomuchbloodandtreasurecost。
Alying，bouncingdesperado，Abomb，astink-pot，agranado；
That"sreadyprimed，andchargedtobreak，Andmischiefdoformischief"ssake：
Acomet，whoseportendingphizAppearsmoredreadfulthanitis；
ButnowpropitiousstarsrepelThoseillsitlastlydidfortel。
"Twillburstwithunregardedspight，And，sincetheParliamentprovesright，Willturntosmoke，whichshoneoflateSobrightandflamingintheState。
Ballad：TheDespondingWhigFromNedWard"sWorks，vol。iv。1709。
Whenowlesarestrip"doftheirdisguise，Andwolvesofshepherd"scloathing，ThosebirdsandbeaststhatpleaseoureyesWillthenbegetourloathing；
WhenfoxestrembleintheirholesAtdangersthattheysee，Andthosewethinksowiseprovefools，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
IfthosedesignsabortiveproveWe"vebeensolonginhatching，AndcunningknavesareforcedtomoveFromhomeforfearofcatching；
TherabblesoonwillchangetheirtoneWhenourintriguestheysee，AndcryGodsavetheChurchandThrone，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
TheweaverthennomoremustleaveHisloomandturnapreacher，NorwithhiscantpoorfoolsdeceiveTomakehimselfthericher。
OurleaderssoonwoulddisappearIfsuchachangeshouldbe，Ourscriblerstoowouldstinkforfear，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
NocanvisarswoulddaretoshewTheirposturesandgrimaces，Orproph"sywhattheyneverknew，Bydintofuglyfaces。
Butshovethetumblerthroughthetown，Andquicklybanish"dbe，Fornonemustteachwithoutagown，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
Ifsuchunhappydaysshouldcome，Ourvirtue，moderation，WouldsurelyberepaidushomeWithdoublecompensation；
Foraswenevercouldforgive，IfearwethenshouldseeThatwhatwelentwemustreceive，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
ShouldhonestbrethrenoncediscernOurknaveries，they"ddisownus，Andbubbl"dfoolsmorewitshouldlearn，TheLordhavemercyonus；
Let"sguardagainstthatevilday，Leastsuchatimeshouldbe，Andtackersshouldcomeintoplay，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
Tho"hithertowe"veplay"dourpartsLikewarycunningfoxes，Andgain"dthecommonpeople"sheartsBybroachinghet"rodoxes，-
Butthey"reasfickleasthewinds，Withnothinglongagree，Andwhentheychangetheirwav"ringminds，Thenlow，boys，downgowe。
Let"spreachandpray，butspitourgallOnthosethatdoopposeus，Andcantofgrace，inspiteofallTheshametheDevilowesus：
Thejust，theloyal，andthewiseWithusshallPapistsbe，ForiftheHIGHCHURCHonceshouldrise，Then，LOWCHURCH，downgowe。
Ballad：PhanatickZeal，OrALooking-glassForTheWhigsFromaCollectionof180LoyalSongs。Tune，"ASwearingwewillgo。"
WhowouldnotbeaToryWhentheloyalarecall"dso：
AndaWhignowisknownTobethenation"sfoe？
SoaToryIwillbe，willbe，AndaToryIwillbe。
Withlittlebandprecise，HairPresbyteriancut，WhigturnsuphandsandeyesThoughsmokinghotfromslut。
SoaToryIwillbe，etc。
Blackcapturn"dupwithwhite，Withwolfishneckandface，Andmouthwithnonsensestuft，SpeaksWhigamanofgrace，AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
ThesistersgotomeetingsTomeettheirgallantsthere；
AndoftmistakeformyLord，Andsniveloutmydear。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
Example，wedoown，Thanpreceptbetteris；
ForCreswellshewassafe，WhenshelivedaprivateMiss。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
TheWhigs，thoughne"ersoproud，Sometimeshavebeenaslow，FortherearesomeofnoteHavelongararee-show。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
ThesemushroomsnowhavegotTheirchampionturn-coathick；
ButifthenakedtruthwereknownThey"reassistedbyoldNick。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
TobeandtobenotAtonceisintheirpower；
Forwhenthey"rein，they"reguilty，Butclearwhenouto"thetower。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
Tocarrytheirdesigns，Though"tcontradictstheirsense；
They"reclearaWhiggishtraytorAgainstclearevidence。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
Theoldproverbdothustell，Eachdogwillhavehisday；
AndWhighashadhistoo，Forwhichhe"llsoundlypay；
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
ForbodkinsandforthimblesNowletyourtubsterscant；
TheirconfoundedtiredcauseHadneveryetmorewant。
SoaToryIwillbe，etc。
ForignoramusToneyHasleftyouinthelurch；
Andyouhavespentyourmoney，So，faith，e"encometoChurch；
ForaToryIwillbe，etc。
Theyareofnoreligion，Beitspokentotheirglories，ForStPeterandStPaulWiththembothareTories；
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
They"reexcellentcontrivers，Iwonderwhatthey"renot，ForsomethingtheycanmakeOfnothingandaplot。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
ButnowyourholycheatIsknownthroughoutthenation；
AndaWhigisknowntobeAthingquiteoutoffashion。
AndaToryIwillbe，etc。
Ballad：ANewGameAtCards：Or，WinAtFirstAndLoseAtLastApopularballad，writtenimmediatelyaftertherestorationofCharlesII。；andinwhichthevictoriousCavaliersrenderhonourtoGeneralMonk，DukeofAlbemarle。
Tune，"Yegallantsthatdelighttoplay。"
YemerryheartsthatlovetoplayAtcards，seewhohathwontheday；
YouthatoncedidsadlysingTheknaveofclubshathwontheking；
Nowmorehappytimeswehave，Thekinghathovercometheknave。
Notlongagoagamewasplay"d，Whenthreecrownsatthestakeswerelaid；
Englandhadnocausetoboast，Knaveswonthatwhichkingshadlost：
Coachesgavethewaytocarts，Andclubswerebettercardsthanhearts。
OldNollwastheknaveo"clubs，Anddadofsuchaspreachintubs；
Bradshaw，Ireton，andPrideWerethreeotherknavesbeside；
Andtheyplay"dwithhalfthepack，Throwingoutallcardsbutblack。
ButthejustFatesthrewthesefourout，Whichmadetheloyalpartyshout；
ThePopewouldfainhavehadthestock，Andwiththesecardshavewhipthisdock。
ButsoontheDevilthesecardssnatchesTodipinbrimstone，andmakematches。
Butstillthesportfortomaintain，BoldLambert，Haslerigg，andVane，Withone-eyedHewson，tooktheirplaces，Knaveswerebettercardsthanaces；
ButFleetwoodhehimselfdidsave，Becausehewasmorefoolthanknave。
Cromwell，thoughhesomuchhadwon，Yethehadanunluckyson；
Hesitsstill，andnotregards，Whilstcunninggamesterssetthecards；
Andthus，alas！poorsillyDick，Heplay"dawhile，andlosthistrick。
TheRumpersthathadwonwholetowns，Thespoilsofmartyrsandofcrowns，Werenotcontented，butgrewrough，Asthoughtheyhadnotwonenough；
Theykeptthecardsstillintheirhands，Toplayfortithesandcollegelands。
ThePresbytersbegantofretThattheywereliketolosethesett；
UntotheRumptheydidappeal，Andsaiditwastheirturntodeal；
ThendealtwithPresbyterians，butThearmysworethattheywouldcut。
Theforeignlandsbegantowonder，Toseewhatgallantswelivedunder，Thatthey，whichChristiansdidforswear，Shouldfollowgamingalltheyear，-
Naymore，whichwasthestrangestthing，Toplaysolongwithoutaking。
Theboldphanaticspresentwere，Likebutlerswiththeirboxesthere，NotdoubtingbutthateverygameSomeprofitwouldredoundtothem；
Becausetheywerethegamesters"minions，Andeverydaybroach"dnewopinions。
ButCheshiremen（asstoriessay）
Begantoshowthemgamester"splay；
BraveBoothandallhisarmystrivesTosavethestakes，orlosetheirlives；
But，ohsadfate！theywereundoneByplayingoftheircardstoosoon。
Thusallthewhileaclubwastrump，There"snonecouldeverbeattheRump，Untilanoblegeneralcame，Andgavethecheatersaclearslam；
Hisfingerdidoutwittheirnoddy，Andscrew"duppoorJackLambert"sbody。
ThenHasleriggbegantoscowl，Andsaidthegeneralplay"dfoul。
Looktohim，partners，forItellye，ThisMonkhasgotakingin"sbelly。
Notso，quothMonk，butIbelieveSirArthurhasaknavein"ssleeve。
WhenGeneralMonkdidunderstandTheRumpwerepeepinginto"shand，Hewiselykepthiscardsfromsight，WhichputtheRumpintoafright；
Hesawhowmanywerebetray"dThatshow"dtheircardsbeforetheyplay"d。
Atlength，quothhe，somecardswelack，Iwillnotplaywithhalfapack；
WhatyoucastoutIwillbringin，Andanewgamewewillbegin：
Withthatthestanders-bydidsayTheyneveryetsawfairerplay。
Butpresentlythisgamewaspast，Andforasecondknaveswerecast；
Allnewcards，notstain"dwithspots，AswastheRumpersandtheScots，-
Heregoodgamestersplay"dtheirpartsAndturn"dupthekingofhearts。
Afterthisgamewasdone，IthinkThestanders-byhadcausetodrink，Andallloyalsubjectssing，Farewellknaves，andwelcomeKing；
For，tillwesawtheKingreturn"d，Wewish"dthecardshadallbeenburn"d。
Ballad：TheCavaleersLitany（March25th，1660。）-FromtheKing"sPamphlets，BritishMuseum。
Frompardonswhichextendtowoods，Entitlethievestokeepourgoods，Forgiveourrentsaswellasbloods，Godbless，etc。
FromjudgeswhoawardthatnoneOfouroppressoursshouldattone（Thelossessurewerenottheirown），Godbless，etc。
FromChristianswhichcansoonforgetOurinjuries，butnotonebitOfself-concernmentwouldremit，Godbless，etc。
Fromduresse，andtheirdolefulltale，Who，famishtbyalawlesssale，Compoundeditforcakesandale，Godbless，etc。
Frompersonsstilltotreadthestage，Whodidthedrudgeriesofourage（Suchcounsellsare，Ifear，toosage），Godbless，etc。
Frommaximeswhich（tomakeallsure）
Withgreatrewardsthebadallure，"Causeofthegoodtheyaresecure，Godbless，etc。
Fromcunninggamesters，who，theysay，Aresuretowinne，what-e"retheyplay；
InAprilLambert，CharlesinMay，Godbless，etc。
Fromneutersandtheirleven"dlump，WhonametheKingandmeantheRump，Orcarenotmuchwhatcardistrump，Godbless，etc。
Frommidnight-birds，wholyeatcatchSomeplumefrommonarchytosnatch，Andfromfondyouthsthatcannotwatch，Godbless，etc。
Frombrethrenwhomuststilldissent，WhosefrowardgospellbrooksnoLent，Andwhorecant，butne"errepent，Godbless，etc。
FromLevitesvoidoftruthandshame，Whotothetimetheirpulpitsframe，Andkeepthestylebutchangethename，Godbless，etc。
Frommenbyheynouscrimesmaderich，Who（thoughtheirhopesareintheditch）
Havestillth"oldfornicatoursitch，Godbless，etc。
Fromsuchasfreelypaidth"arrearsOftheState-troopsformanyyears，ButgrudgeonetaxforCavaleers，Godbless，etc。
THESECONDPART。
Acrownofgoldwithoutallay，Nothereprovidedforoneday，Butframedabovetolastforaye！
Godsend，etc。
AQueentofilltheemptyplace，Andmultiplyhisnoblerace，WeeallbeseechthethroneofgraceTosend，etc。
ApeoplestillastrueandkindAslate（whenfortheirKingtheypin"d），Notfickleasthetideorwild，Godsend，etc。
Afleetlikethatinfifty-three，Tore-assertourpoweratsea，AndmakeproudFlemingsbendtheirknee，Godsend，etc。
Fullmagazinesandcashinstore，ThatsuchaswroughthisfatebeforeMayhopetodothesamenomore，Godsend，etc。
Asearchingjudgementtodivine，OfpersonswhethertheydojoynForlove，forfear，orfordesign，Godsend，etc。
Awell-complexion"dParliament，Thatshall（likeEnglishmen）resentWhatloyallsubjectsunderwent，Godsend，etc。
Reviewofstatuteslatelypast，Madeinsuchheat，pen"dinsuchhast，Thatalleventswerenotforecast，Godsend，etc。
Dispatchofbusinesse，lawesupright，Andfavourwhereitstandswithright，（Betheirpursesne"ersolight），Godsend，etc。
Araventosupplytheirneed，Whosemartyrdom（likenobleseed）
Sprungupatlengthandchoak"ttheweed，Godsend，etc。
TheKingandkingdom"sdebtsdefray"d，Andthoseofhonestmenwellpay"d，Towhichtheirvertuethembetray"d，Godsend，etc。
IncreaseofcustomestotheKingMayourincreaseoftraffickbring，"TisthatwillmakethepeoplesingLonglive，etc。
London，printedforRobertCrofts，attheCrown，inChanceryLane，1661。
Ballad：TheCavalier"sComplaintThisandthefollowingballad，fromtheKing"sPamphlets，BritishMuseum，expressthediscontentoftheCavaliersattheingratitudeofKingCharlestotheoldsupportersofthefortunesofhisfamily-（March15th，1660。）
Tothetuneof"Itellthee，Dick。"
Come，Jack，let"sdrinkapotofale，AndIshalltelltheesuchataleWillmakethineearstoring；
Mycoyneisspent，mytimeislost，AndIthisonlyfruitcanboast，ThatonceIsawmyKing。
Butthisdothmostafflictmymind：
IwenttoCourtinhopetofindSomeofmyfriendsinplace；
Andwalkingthere，IhadasightOfallthecrew，but，bythislight！
Ihardlyknewoneface。
"S"life！ofsomanynoblesparkes，WhoontheirbodiesbearthemarkesOftheirintegritie；
Andsuffer"druineofestate，Itwasmydamn"dunhappyfateThatInotonecouldsee。
Notone，uponmylife，amongMyoldacquaintanceallalongAtTruroandbefore；
AndIsupposetheplacecanshowAsfewofthosewhomthoudidstknowAtYorkeorMarston-moore。
ButtrulythereareswarmesofthoseWholatelywereourchiefestfoes，Ofpantaloonsandmuffes；
WhilsttheoldrustyCavaleerRetires，ordaresnotonceappear，Forwantofcoyneandcuffes。
WhennoneoftheseIcoulddescry，Whobetterfardeserv"dthenI，CalmelyIdidreflect；
"Oldservices（byruleofState）
Likealmanacksgrowoutofdate，-
WhatthencanIexpect？"
Troth！incontemptofFortune"sfrown，I"llgetmefairlyoutoftown，Andinacloysterpray；
ThatsincethestarresareyetunkindToRoyalists，theKingmayfindMorefaithfullfriendsthanthey。
Ballad：AnEchoToTheCavalier"sComplaintImarvel，Dick，thathavingbeenSolongabroad，andhavingseenTheworldasthouhastdone，Thoushould"stacquaintmeewithataleAsoldasNestor，andasstaleAsthatofPriestandNunne。（100）
ArewetolearnwhatisaCourt？
Apageantmadeforfortune"ssport，Wheremeritsscarceappear；
ForbashfullmeritonlydwellsIncamps，invillages，andcells；
Alas！itdwellsnotthere。
Desertisniceinitsaddresse，AndmeritofttimesdothoppresseBeyondwhatguiltwoulddo；
ButtheyaresureoftheirdemandsThatcometoCourtwithgoldenhands，Andbrazenfaces，too。
TheKing，theysay，dothstillprofesseTogivehispartysomeredresse，Andcherishhonestie；
Buthisgoodwishesproveinvain，Whoseservicewithhisservants"gainNotalwayesdothagree。
Allprinces（betheyne"ersowise）
Arefaintoseewithothers"eyes，Butseldomhearatall；
AndcourtiersfindtheirinterestIntimetofeatherwelltheirnest，Providingfortheirfall。
Ourcomfortdothontimedepend，Thingswhentheyareatworstwillmend；
AndletusbutreflectOnourconditionth"otherday，Whennonebuttyrantsborethesway，Whatdidwethenexpect？
Meanwhileacalmretreatisbest，Butdiscontent（ifnotsupprest）
Willbreeddisloyaltie；
ThisistheconstantnoteIsing，IhavebeenfaithfultotheKing，Andsoshalleverbe。
London，printedforRobertCrofts，attheCrown，inChanceryLane，1661。
Ballad：ARelationOfTengrandinfamousTraytors，who，fortheirhorridmurderanddetestablevillanyagainstourlatesoveraigneLordKingCharlestheFirst，thateverblessedmartyr，werearraigned，tryed，andexecutedinthemonethofOctober，1660，whichinperpetuitywillbehadinremembranceuntotheworld"send。
ThisisoneoftheSixBalladsoftheRestorationfoundinatrunk，andsentbySirW。C。TrevelyantotheBritishMuseum。"NomeasurethrewmoredisgraceontheRestoration，"saysMrWright，"thantheprosecutionoftheregicides；andtheheartlessandsanguinarymannerinwhichitwasconductedtendedmorethananyothercircumstancetoopentheeyesofthepeopletotherealcharacterofthegovernmenttowhichtheyhadbeenbetrayed。"Pepysobservesonthe20thOct。，"Abloodyweekthisandthelasthavebeen；therebeingtenhanged，drawn，andquartered。"
Thetuneis"Comeletusdrinke，thetimeinvites。"
Heethatcanimposeathing，AndshewforthareasonForwhatwasdoneagainsttheKing，Fromthepalacetotheprison；
Lethimherewithmerecite，FormypenisbenttowriteThehorridfactsoftreason。
SincethereisnolearnedscribeNorarithmaticionEverabletodecideTheusurp"dbaseambition，WhichintruthIshalldeclare，Traytorsherewhichlatelywere，Whowantedaphisitian。
ForthegranddiseasethatbredNaturecouldnotweaneit；
Fromthefootuntothehead，Wasputrefactedtreasoninit；
Doctorscouldnocuregive，WhichmadethesquirethenbeleeveThathemustfirstbeginit。
Andthephisickdidcompose，Withinapoundofreason；
Firsttotakeawaythecause，Thentopurgeawaythetreason，Withadosseofhempmadeup，Wroughtasthicklyasarope，Andgiventhemindueseason。
ThedoctorsdidprescribeatlastTogive"umthispotation，Avomitorasinglecast，Welldeserved，inpurgation；
Afterthattolaythemdowne，Andbleedaveineineveryone，Astraytorsofthenation。
Sowhenfirstthephysickewrought，ThethirteenthofOctober，（101）
Thepatientonasledgewasbrought，Likearebellandarover，Totheexecutiontree；
WherewithmuchdexterityWasgentlyturnedover。
THESECONDPART-Tothesametune。
Mondaywasthefifteenthday，AsCarewthendidfollow，（102）
OfwhomallmenIthinkemightsayIntyrannydiddeeplywallow；
TraytorproveduntotheKing，Whichmadehimonthegallowesswing，Andallthepeoplehallow。
Tuesday，afterPeters，Cooke，（103）
Twonotorioustraytors，Thatbroughtoursoveraignetotheblocke，Forwhichwerehang"dandcutinquarters；
"TwasCookewhichwroughtthebloodythingTodrawthechargeagainstourKing，Thateverblessedmartyr。
Next，onWednesday，fourecame，Formurthurallimputed，Theretoanswerforthesame，Whichinjudgementwereconfuted。
GregorieClement，Jones，andScot，AndScrooptogether，foraplot，（104）
Likewisewereexecuted。
Thursdaypast，andFridaythen，Toendthefullconclusion，Andmakethetraytorsjustupten，Thatdaywerebroughttoexecution，HackerandproudAxtellhe，（105）
AtTyburnefortheirtreacheryReceivedtheirabsolution。
BeingagainsttheKingandStates，TheCommonsallcondemn"d"um，AndtheirquartersonthegatesHangethforamemorandum"Twixttheheavensandtheearth；
Traytorsaresolittleworth，Todustandsmoakewee"lsend"um。
LetnowOctoberwarningmakeTobloody-mindedtraytors，Thatneverphisickemoretheytake，Forinthismoneththeylosttheirquarters；
BeingsoagainsttheKing，Whichtomurthertheydidbring，Theeverblessedmartyr。
London，printedforFr。Coles，T。Vere，M。Wright，andW。
Gilbertson。
Ballad：TheGloryOfTheseNationsOr，Kingandpeopleshappinesse。BeingabriefrelationofKingCharles"sroyallprogressefromDovertoLondon，howtheLordGenerallandtheLordMayor，withallthenobilityandgentryoftheland，broughthimthorowthefamouscityofLondontohispallaceatWestminster，the29thofMaylast，beinghisMajestiesbirth-day，tothegreatcomfortofhisloyallsubjects。
OneofthesixcuriousbroadsidesfoundbySirW。C。Trevelyanintheliningofatrunk，andnowintheBritishMuseum。
ThenewParliamentmetonthetwenty-fifthofApril，andonthefirstofMaytheKing"sletterfromBredawasread，andtheRestorationdeterminedbyavoteoftheHouse。TheKingimmediatelyrepairedtothecoast，and，aftermeetingwithsomeobstructionfromtheroughnessoftheweather，wentonboardtheNAZEBYonthe23rdofMay。Onthe25thhelandedatDover。HemadehisentryintoLondononthe29th。
Tothetuneof"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。"
Where"sthosethatdidprognosticate，AnddidenvyfairEngland"sstate，AndsaidKingCharlesnomoreshouldreign？
Theirpredictionswerebutinvain，FortheKingisnowreturn"d，ForwhomfairEnglandmourn"d；
Hisnoblesroyallyhimentertain。
Nowblessedbetheday！
Thusdohissubjectssay，ThatGodhathbroughthimhomeagain。
Thetwenty-secondoflovelyMayAtDoverarrived，famedothsay，WhereourmostnoblegenerallDidonhiskneesbeforehimfall，Cravingtokisshishand，Sosoonashedidland。
Royallytheydidhimentertain，Withalltheirpow"randmight，Tobringhimtohisright，Andplacehiminhisownagain。
ThentheKing，Iunderstand，DidkindlytakehimbythehandAndlovinglydidhimembrace，Rejoycingfortoseehisface。
HeelifthimfromthegroundWithjoythatdidabound，Andgraciouslydidhimentertain；
RejoycingthatoncemoreHewaso"th"Englishshore，Toenjoyhisowninpeaceagain。
FromDovertoCanterburytheypast，AndsotoCobham-hallatlast；
FromthencetoLondonmarchamain，Withatriumphantandglorioustrain，Wherehewasreceivedwithjoy，Hissorrowtodestroy，InEnglandoncemorefortoraign；
Nowallmendosing，GodsaveCharlesourKing，Thatnowenjoyeshisownagain。
AtDeptfordthemaidenstheyStoodallinwhitebythehigh-wayTheirloyaltytoCharlestoshow，Theywithsweetflowershiswaytostrew。
Eachworearibbinblew，Theywereofcomelyhue，Withjoytheydidhimentertain，WithacclamationstotheskyeAstheKingpassedby，Forjoythathereceiveshisownagain。
InWallworth-fieldsagallantbandOfLondon"prenticesdidstand，Allinwhitedubletsverygay，ToentertainKingCharlesthatday，Withmuskets，swords，andpike；
Ineversawthelike，Noramoreyouthfullgallanttrain；
Theyuptheirhatsdidfling，Andcry，"GodsavetheKing！
Nowheenjoyshisownagain。"
AtNewington-ButstheLordMayorwilledAfamousboothfortobebuilded，WhereKingCharlesdidmakeastand，Andreceivedtheswordintohishand；
WhichhisMajestydidtake，AndthenreturnedbackUntotheMayorwithloveagain。
Abanquettheyhimmake，Hedoththereofpartake，Thenmarchthistriumphanttrain。
TheKingwithallhisnoblemen，ThroughSouthwarktheymarchedthen；
FirstmarchedMajorGenerallBrown，（106）
ThenNorwichEarleofgreatrenown，（107）
WithmanyavaliantknightAndgallantmenofmight，Richlyattired，marchingamain，ThereLordsMordin，Gerard，andThegoodEarleofCleavland，（108）
TobringtheKingtohisownagain。
NearsixtyflagsandstreamersthenWasbornbeforeathousandmen，Inplushcoatsandchainesofgold，Theseweremostrichfortobehold；
Witheverymanhispage，Thegloryofhisage；
Withcourageboldtheymarchtamain，ThenwithgladnessetheyBroughttheKingonhiswayFortoenjoyhisownagain。
ThenLichfieldsandDarbyesEarles，（109）
TwooffairEngland"sroyallpearles；
MajorGenerallMasseythenCommandedthelifeguardofmen，TheKingfortodefend，Ifanyshouldcontend，Orseemhiscommingtorestrain；
ButalsojoyfullwereThatnosuchdurstappear，NowtheKingenjoyeshisownagain。
Fourrichmacesbeforethemwent，Andmanyheraldswellcontent；
TheLordMayorandthegenerallDidmarchbeforetheKingwithall。
HisbrothersoneachsideAlongbyhimdidride；
TheSouthwark-waitsdidplayamain，WhichmadethemalltosmileAndtostandstillawhile，Andthentheymarchedonagain。
Thenwithdrawnswordsallmendidside，Andflourishingthesame，thencryed，"CharlestheSecondnowGodsave，Thathehislawfullrightmayhave！
Andweallonhimattend，Fromdangershimtodefend，Andallthatwithhimdothremain。
BlessedbeGodthatweDidlivethesedaystosee，ThattheKingenjoyeshisownagain！"
Thebellslikewisedidloudlyring，Bonefiresdidburnandpeoplesing；
Londonconduitsdidrunwithwine，AndallmendotoCharlesincline；
HopingnowthatallUntotheirtradesmayfall，Theirfamyliesfortomaintain，Andfromwrongbefree，"Causewehaveliv"dtoseeTheKingenjoyhisownagain。
London，printedforCharlesTyns，onLondonBridge。
Ballad：TheNobleProgressOr，ATrueRelationOfTheLordGeneralMonk"sPoliticalProceedings。
TheNobleProgresse，oraTrueRelationoftheLordGeneralMonk"sPoliticalProceedingswiththeRump，thecallinginthesecludedMembers，theirtranscendantvoteforhissacredMajesty，withhisreceptionatDover，androyalconductthroughtheCityofLondontohisfamousPalaceatWhitehall。OneofthebroadsidesintheBritishMuseum，foundintheliningofanoldtrunkbySirW。C。
Trevelyan。
Tune-"WhenfirsttheScottishwarsbegan。"
Goodpeople，hearkentomycall，I"letellyouallwhatdidbefallAndhapnedoflate；
OurnoblevaliantGeneralMonkCametotheRump，wholatelystunkWiththeircouncilofstate。
Admiringwhatthismanwoulddoe，Hissecretmindthere"snonecouldknow，Theydiv"dintohimasmuchastheycould，-
Georgewouldnotbewonwiththeirsilvernorgold：
Thesectariansaintsatthislooktblew，Withalltherestofthefactiouscrew，Theyvapour"dawhile，andwereingoodhope，Butnowtheyhavenothingleftbuttherope。
Anotherinventionthentheysought，WhichlongtheywroughtfortobebroughtToclaspehimwiththey；
QuothVaneandScot，I"letellyouwhat，Wee"lhaveaplotandheshallnot，Wee"lcarrythesway：
Let"svotehimathousandpoundayeare，AndHamptonCourtforhimandhisHeire。
Indeed，quothGeorge，ye"reFreeParliamentmenTocutathongoutofanotherman"sskin。
Thesectarian，etc。
TheysenthimthenwithallhishostsTobreakourpostsandraiseourghosts，Whichwastheirintent；
TocutourgatesandchainalldowneUntotheground-thistricktheyfoundTomakehimbeshent：
ThisplottheRumpdidsoaccordTocastanodiumonmylord，Butinthetaskhewashardputuntoo"t，"Twasenoughtoinfectbothhishorseandhisfoot，Thesectarian，etc。
ButwhenmylordperceivedthatnightWhatwastheirspight，hebroughttolightTheirknaveriesall；
ThisParliamentofforty-eight，Whichlongdidwait，cametohimstraight，Togivethemafall，AndsomephanaticalpeopleknewThatGeorgewouldgivethemtheirfatalldue；
Indeedhedidrequitethemagen，Forhepul"dtheMonsteroutofhisden。