第2章

"IthoughtIsawyouinMacConnell’sboxwithMainhalloneevening，butIsupposedyouhadlefttownbeforethis。"

Shelookedathimfranklyandcordially，asifhewereindeedmerelyanoldfriendwhomshewasgladtomeetagain。

"No，I’vebeenmooningabouthere。"

Hildalaughedgayly。"Mooning!Iseeyoumooning!Youmustbethebusiestmanintheworld。Timeandsuccesshavedonewellbyyou，youknow。You’rehandsomerthaneverandyou’vegainedagrandmanner。"

Alexanderblushedandbowed。"Timeandsuccesshavebeengoodfriendstobothofus。

Aren’tyoutremendouslypleasedwithyourself？"

Shelaughedagainandshruggedhershoulders。

"Oh，so—so。ButIwanttohearaboutyou。

SeveralyearsagoIreadsuchalotinthepapersaboutthewonderfulthingsyoudidinJapan，andhowtheEmperordecoratedyou。

Whatwasit，CommanderoftheOrderoftheRisingSun？Thatsoundslike`TheMikado。’Andwhataboutyournewbridge——

inCanada，isn’tit，andit’stobethelongestoneintheworldandhassomequeernameI

can’tremember。"

Bartleyshookhisheadandsmileddrolly。

"Sincewhenhaveyoubeeninterestedinbridges？Orhaveyoulearnedtobeinterestedineverything？Andisthatapartofsuccess？"

"Why，howabsurd!AsifIwerenotalwaysinterested!"Hildaexclaimed。

"Well，Ithinkwewon’ttalkaboutbridgeshere，atanyrate。"Bartleylookeddownatthetoeofheryellowslipperwhichwastappingtherugimpatientlyunderthehemofhergown。

"ButIwonderwhetheryou’dthinkmeimpertinentifIaskedyoutoletmecometoseeyousometimeandtellyouaboutthem？"

"WhyshouldI？EversomanypeoplecomeonSundayafternoons。"

"Iknow。Mainhallofferedtotakeme。

ButyoumustknowthatI’vebeeninLondonseveraltimeswithinthelastfewyears，andyoumightverywellthinkthatjustnowisaratherinopportunetime——"

Shecuthimshort。"Nonsense。Oneofthepleasantestthingsaboutsuccessisthatitmakespeoplewanttolookoneup，ifthat’swhatyoumean。I’mlikeeveryoneelse——

moreagreeabletomeetwhenthingsaregoingwellwithme。Don’tyousupposeitgivesmeanypleasuretodosomethingthatpeoplelike？"

"Doesit？Oh，howfineitallis，yourcomingonlikethis!ButIdidn’twantyoutothinkitwasbecauseofthatIwantedtoseeyou。"

Hespokeveryseriouslyandlookeddownatthefloor。

Hildastudiedhiminwide—eyedastonishmentforamoment，andthenbrokeintoalow，amusedlaugh。"MydearMr。Alexander，youhavestrangedelicacies。Ifyouplease，thatisexactlywhyyouwishtoseeme。

Weunderstandthat，dowenot？"

Bartleylookedruffledandturnedthesealringonhislittlefingeraboutawkwardly。

Hildaleanedbackinherchair，watchinghimindulgentlyoutofhershrewdeyes。

"Come，don’tbeangry，butdon’ttrytoposeforme，ortobeanythingbutwhatyouare。

Ifyoucaretocome，it’syourselfI’llbegladtosee，andyouthinkingwellofyourself。

Don’ttrytowearacloakofhumility；itdoesn’tbecomeyou。Stalkinasyouareanddon’tmakeexcuses。I’mnotaccustomedtoinquiringintothemotivesofmyguests。Thatwouldhardlybesafe，evenforLadyWalford，inagreathouselikethis。"

"Sundayafternoon，then，"saidAlexander，assherosetojoinherhostess。

"HowearlymayIcome？"

Shegavehimherhandandflushedandlaughed。Hebentoveritalittlestiffly。

ShewentawayonLadyWalford’sarm，andashestoodwatchingheryellowtrainglidedownthelongfloorhelookedrathersullen。Hefeltthathehadnotcomeoutofitverybrilliantly。

CHAPTERIV

OnSundayafternoonAlexanderrememberedMissBurgoyne’sinvitationandcalledatherapartment。Hefounditadelightfullittleplaceandhemetcharmingpeoplethere。

Hildalivedalone，attendedbyaveryprettyandcompetentFrenchservantwhoansweredthedoorandbroughtinthetea。Alexanderarrivedearly，andsometwenty—oddpeopledroppedinduringthecourseoftheafternoon。

HughMacConnellcamewithhissister，andstoodabout，managinghistea—cupawkwardlyandwatchingeveryoneoutofhisdeep—set，fadedeyes。Heseemedtohavemadearesoluteeffortattidinessofattire，andhissister，arobust，floridwomanwithasplendidjovialityabouther，kepteyeinghisfreshlycreasedclothesapprehensively。Itwasnotverylong，indeed，beforehiscoathungwithadiscouragedsagfromhisgauntshouldersandhishairandbeardwererumpledasifhehadbeenoutinagale。Hisdryhumorwentunderacloudofabsent—mindedkindlinesswhich，Mainhallexplained，alwaysovertookhimhere。Hewasneversowittyorsosharphereaselsewhere，andAlexanderthoughthebehavedasifhewereanelderlyrelativecomeintoayounggirl’sparty。

Theeditorofamonthlyreviewcamewithhiswife，andLadyKildare，theIrishphilanthropist，broughtheryoungnephew，RobertOwen，whohadcomeupfromOxford，andwhowasvisiblyexcitedandgratifiedbyhisfirstintroductiontoMissBurgoyne。

Hildawasverynicetohim，andhesatontheedgeofhischair，flushedwithhisconversationaleffortsandmovinghischinaboutnervouslyoverhishighcollar。

SarahFrost，thenovelist，camewithherhusband，averygenialandplacidoldscholarwhohadbecomeslightlyderangeduponthesubjectofthefourthdimension。Onothermattershewasperfectlyrationalandhewaseasyandpleasinginconversation。HelookedverymuchlikeAgassiz，andhiswife，inherold—fashionedblacksilkdress，overskirtedandtight—sleeved，remindedAlexanderoftheearlypicturesofMrs。Browning。Hildaseemedparticularlyfondofthisquaintcouple，andBartleyhimselfwassopleasedwiththeirmildandthoughtfulconversethathetookhisleavewhentheydid，andwalkedwiththemovertoOxfordStreet，wheretheywaitedfortheir’bus。TheyaskedhimtocometoseetheminChelsea，andtheyspokeverytenderlyofHilda。"She’sadear，unworldlylittlething，"saidthephilosopherabsently；

"morelikethestagepeopleofmyyoungdays——

folkofsimplemanners。Therearen’tmanysuchleft。

Americantourshavespoiledthem，I’mafraid。

Theyhaveallgrownverysmart。Lambwouldn’tcareagreatdealaboutmanyofthem，Ifancy。"

AlexanderwentbacktoBedfordSquareasecondSundayafternoon。HehadalongtalkwithMacConnell，buthegotnowordwithHildaalone，andheleftinadiscontentedstateofmind。Fortherestoftheweekhewasnervousandunsettled，andkeptrushinghisworkasifhewerepreparingforimmediatedeparture。OnThursdayafternoonhecutshortacommitteemeeting，jumpedintoahansom，anddrovetoBedfordSquare。

Hesentuphiscard，butitcamebacktohimwithamessagescribbledacrossthefront。

SosorryIcan’tseeyou。WillyoucomeanddinewithmeSundayeveningathalf—pastseven？

H。B。

WhenBartleyarrivedatBedfordSquareonSundayevening，Marie，theprettylittleFrenchgirl，methimatthedoorandconductedhimupstairs。Hildawaswritinginherliving—room，underthelightofatalldesklamp。

BartleyrecognizedtheprimrosesatingownshehadwornthatfirsteveningatLadyWalford’s。

"I’msopleasedthatyouthinkmeworththatyellowdress，youknow，"hesaid，takingherhandandlookingheroveradmiringlyfromthetoesofhercanaryslipperstohersmoothlypartedbrownhair。"Yes，it’svery，verypretty。EveryoneatLadyWalford’swaslookingatit。"

Hildacurtsied。"Isthatwhyyouthinkitpretty？I’venoneedforfineclothesinMac’splaythistime，soIcanaffordafewduddiesformyself。It’sowingtothatsamechance，bytheway，thatIamabletoaskyoutodinner。

Idon’tneedMarietodressmethisseason，soshekeepshouseforme，andmylittleGalwaygirlhasgonehomeforavisit。IshouldneverhaveaskedyouifMollyhadbeenhere，forIrememberyoudon’tlikeEnglishcookery。"

Alexanderwalkedabouttheroom，lookingateverything。

"Ihaven’thadachanceyettotellyouwhatajollylittleplaceIthinkthisis。

Wheredidyougetthoseetchings？

They’requiteunusual，aren’tthey？"

"LadyWestmeresentthemtomefromRomelastChristmas。SheisverymuchinterestedintheAmericanartistwhodidthem。

TheyareallsketchesmadeabouttheVillad’Este，yousee。HepaintedthatgroupofcypressesfortheSalon，anditwasboughtfortheLuxembourg。"

Alexanderwalkedovertothebookcases。

"It’stheairofthewholeplaceherethatIlike。Youhaven’tgotanythingthatdoesn’tbelong。Seemstomeitlooksparticularlywellto—night。Andyouhavesomanyflowers。

Iliketheselittleyellowirises。"

"Roomsalwayslookbetterbylamplight——inLondon，atleast。ThoughMarieisclean——reallyclean，astheFrenchare。Whydoyoulookattheflowerssocritically？MariegotthemallfreshinCoventGardenmarketyesterdaymorning。"

"I’mglad，"saidAlexandersimply。

"Ican’ttellyouhowgladIamtohaveyousoprettyandcomfortablehere，andtoheareveryonesayingsuchnicethingsaboutyou。

You’vegotawfullynicefriends，"headdedhumbly，pickingupalittlejadeelephantfromherdesk。"Thosefellowsareallveryloyal，evenMainhall。Theydon’ttalkofanyoneelseastheydoofyou。"

Hildasatdownonthecouchandsaidseriously："I’veaneatlittlesuminthebank，too，now，andIownamiteofahutinGalway。It’snotworthmuch，butIloveit。

I’vemanagedtosavesomethingeveryyear，andthatwithhelpingmythreesistersnowandthen，andtidingpoorCousinMikeoverbadseasons。He’sthatgifted，youknow，buthewilldrinkandlosesmoregoodengagementsthanotherfellowseverget。

AndI’vetraveledabit，too。"

Marieopenedthedoorandsmilinglyannouncedthatdinnerwasserved。

"Mydining—room，"Hildaexplained，assheledtheway，"isthetiniestplaceyouhaveeverseen。"

Itwasatinyroom，hungallroundwithFrenchprints，abovewhichranashelffullofchina。HildasawAlexanderlookupatit。

"It’snotparticularlyrare，"shesaid，"butsomeofitwasmymother’s。Heavenknowshowshemanagedtokeepitwhole，throughallourwanderings，orinwhatbasketsandbundlesandtheatretrunksithasn’tbeenstowedaway。

WealwayshadourteaoutofthosebluecupswhenIwasalittlegirl，sometimesinthequeerestlodgings，andsometimesonatrunkatthetheatre——queertheatres，forthatmatter。"

Itwasawonderfullittledinner。Therewaswatercresssoup，andsole，andadelightfulomelettestuffedwithmushroomsandtruffles，andtwosmallrareducklings，andartichokes，andadryyellowRhonewineofwhichBartleyhadalwaysbeenveryfond。Hedrankitappreciativelyandremarkedthattherewasstillnootherhelikedsowell。

"Ihavesomechampagneforyou，too。I

don’tdrinkitmyself，butIliketoseeitbehavewhenit’spoured。Thereisnothingelsethatlookssojolly。"

"Thankyou。ButIdon’tlikeitsowellasthis。"Bartleyheldtheyellowwineagainstthelightandsquintedintoitasheturnedtheglassslowlyabout。"Youhavetraveled，yousay。HaveyoubeeninParismuchtheselateyears？"

Hildaloweredoneofthecandle—shadescarefully。"Oh，yes，IgoovertoParisoften。

TherearefewchangesintheoldQuarter。

DearoldMadameAngerisdead——butperhapsyoudon’trememberher？"

"Don’tI，though!I’msosorrytohearit。

Howdidhersonturnout？Irememberhowshesavedandscrapedforhim，andhowhealwayslayabedtillteno’clock。HewasthelaziestfellowattheBeauxArts；andthat’ssayingagooddeal。"

"Well，heisstillcleverandlazy。Theysayheisagoodarchitectwhenhewillwork。

He’sabig，handsomecreature，andhehatesAmericansasmuchasever。ButAngel——doyourememberAngel？"

"Perfectly。DidsheevergetbacktoBrittanyandherbainsdemer？"

"Ah，no。PoorAngel!ShegottiredofcookingandscouringthecoppersinMadameAnger’slittlekitchen，sosheranawaywithasoldier，andthenwithanothersoldier。

Toobad!ShestilllivesabouttheQuarter，and，thoughthereisalwaysasoldat，shehasbecomeablanchisseusedefin。ShedidmyblousesbeautifullythelasttimeIwasthere，andwassodelightedtoseemeagain。Igaveherallmyoldclothes，evenmyoldhats，thoughshealwayswearsherBretonheaddress。Herhairisstilllikeflax，andherblueeyesarejustlikeababy’s，andshehasthesamethreefrecklesonherlittlenose，andtalksaboutgoingbacktoherbainsdemer。"

BartleylookedatHildaacrosstheyellowlightofthecandlesandbrokeintoalow，happylaugh。"Howjollyitwasbeingyoung，Hilda!DoyourememberthatfirstwalkwetooktogetherinParis？WewalkeddowntothePlaceSaint—Micheltobuysomelilacs。

Doyourememberhowsweettheysmelled？"

"IndeedIdo。Come，we’llhaveourcoffeeintheotherroom，andyoucansmoke。"

Hildarosequickly，asifshewishedtochangethedriftoftheirtalk，butBartleyfounditpleasanttocontinueit。

"Whatawarm，softspringeveningthatwas，"hewenton，astheysatdowninthestudywiththecoffeeonalittletablebetweenthem；"andthesky，overthebridges，wasjustthecolorofthelilacs。Wewalkedondownbytheriver，didn’twe？"

Hildalaughedandlookedathimquestioningly。

Hesawagleaminhereyesthatherememberedevenbetterthantheepisodehewasrecalling。

"Ithinkwedid，"sheanswereddemurely。

"ItwasontheQuaiwemetthatwomanwhowascryingsobitterly。Igaveherasprayoflilac，Iremember，andyougaveherafranc。Iwasfrightenedatyourprodigality。"

"IexpectitwasthelastfrancIhad。

Whatastrongbrownfaceshehad，andverytragic。Shelookedatuswithsuchdespairandlonging，outfromunderherblackshawl。

Whatshewantedfromuswasneitherourflowersnorourfrancs，butjustouryouth。

Irememberittouchedmeso。Iwouldhavegivenhersomeofmineoffmyback，ifIcould。

Ihadenoughandtosparethen，"Bartleymused，andlookedthoughtfullyathiscigar。

Theywerebothrememberingwhatthewomanhadsaidwhenshetookthemoney：

"Godgiveyouahappylove!"Itwasnotintheingratiatingtoneofthehabitualbeggar：

ithadcomeoutofthedepthsofthepoorcreature’ssorrow，vibratingwithpityfortheiryouthanddespairattheterriblenessofhumanlife；

ithadtheanguishofavoiceofprophecy。

Untilshespoke，Bartleyhadnotrealizedthathewasinlove。Thestrangewoman，andherpassionatesentencethatrangoutsosharply，hadfrightenedthemboth。

Theywenthomesadlywiththelilacs，backtotheRueSaint—Jacques，walkingveryslowly，arminarm。WhentheyreachedthehousewhereHildalodged，Bartleywentacrossthecourtwithher，andupthedarkoldstairstothethirdlanding；andtherehehadkissedherforthefirsttime。Hehadshuthiseyestogivehimthecourage，heremembered，andshehadtrembledso——

BartleystartedwhenHildarangthelittlebellbesideher。"Dearme，whydidyoudothat？Ihadquiteforgotten——Iwasbackthere。

Itwasveryjolly，"hemurmuredlazily，asMariecameintotakeawaythecoffee。

Hildalaughedandwentovertothepiano。"Well，weareneitherofustwentynow，youknow。HaveItoldyouaboutmynewplay？Maciswritingone；reallyformethistime。Yousee，I’mcomingon。"

"I’veseennothingelse。Whatkindofapartisit？Shallyouwearyellowgowns？

Ihopeso。"

Hewaslookingatherroundslenderfigure，asshestoodbythepiano，turningoverapileofmusic，andhefelttheenergyineverylineofit。

"No，itisn’tadress—uppart。Hedoesn’tseemtofancymeinfinefeathers。HesaysIoughttobemindingthepigsathome，andI

supposeIought。Buthe’sgivenmesomegoodIrishsongs。Listen。"

Shesatdownatthepianoandsang。

Whenshefinished，Alexandershookhimselfoutofareverie。

"Sing`TheHarpThatOnce，’Hilda。

Youusedtosingitsowell。"

"Nonsense。OfcourseIcan’treallysing，exceptthewaymymotherandgrandmotherdidbeforeme。Mostactressesnowadayslearntosingproperly，soItriedamaster；

butheconfusedme，just!"

Alexanderlaughed。"Allthesame，singit，Hilda。"

Hildastartedupfromthestoolandmovedrestlesslytowardthewindow。

"It’sreallytoowarminthisroomtosing。

Don’tyoufeelit？"

Alexanderwentoverandopenedthewindowforher。"Aren’tyouafraidtoletthewindlowlikethatonyourneck？Can’tIgetascarforsomething？"

"Askatheatreladyifshe’safraidofdrafts!"

Hildalaughed。"Butperhaps，asI’msowarm——

givemeyourhandkerchief。There，justinfront。"

Heslippedthecornerscarefullyunderhershoulder—straps。

"There，thatwilldo。Itlookslikeabib。"

Shepushedhishandawayquicklyandstoodlookingoutintothedesertedsquare。

"Isn’tLondonatombonSundaynight？"

Alexandercaughttheagitationinhervoice。

Hestoodalittlebehindher，andtriedtosteadyhimselfashesaid："It’ssoftandmisty。

Seehowwhitethestarsare。"

ForalongtimeneitherHildanorBartleyspoke。

Theystoodclosetogether，lookingoutintothewan，waterysky，breathingalwaysmorequicklyandlightly，anditseemedasifalltheclocksintheworldhadstopped。

Suddenlyhemovedtheclenchedhandheheldbehindhimanddroppeditviolentlyathisside。Hefeltatremorrunthroughtheslenderyellowfigureinfrontofhim。

Shecaughthishandkerchieffromherthroatandthrustitathimwithoutturninground。"Here，takeit。Youmustgonow，Bartley。Good—night。"

Bartleyleanedoverhershoulder，withouttouchingher，andwhisperedinherear：

"Youaregivingmeachance？"

"Yes。Takeitandgo。Thisisn’tfair，youknow。Good—night。"

Alexanderunclenchedthetwohandsathissides。Withonehethrewdownthewindowandwiththeother——stillstandingbehindher——hedrewherbackagainsthim。

Sheutteredalittlecry，threwherarmsoverherhead，anddrewhisfacedowntohers。

"Areyougoingtoletmeloveyoualittle，Bartley？"

shewhispered。

CHAPTERV

ItwastheafternoonofthedaybeforeChristmas。

Mrs。Alexanderhadbeendrivingaboutallthemorning，leavingpresentsatthehousesofherfriends。

Shelunchedalone，andassherosefromthetableshespoketothebutler："Thomas，IamgoingdowntothekitchennowtoseeNorah。Inhalfanhouryouaretobringthegreensupfromthecellarandputtheminthelibrary。Mr。Alexanderwillbehomeatthreetohangthemhimself。

Don’tforgetthestepladder，andplentyoftacksandstring。Youmaybringtheazaleasupstairs。

TakethewhiteonetoMr。Alexander’sstudy。

Putthetwopinkonesinthisroom，andtheredoneinthedrawing—room。"

Alittlebeforethreeo’clockMrs。Alexanderwentintothelibrarytoseethateverythingwasready。Shepulledthewindowshadeshigh，fortheweatherwasdarkandstormy，andtherewaslittlelight，eveninthestreets。

Afootofsnowhadfallenduringthemorning，andthewidespaceovertheriverwasthickwithflyingflakesthatfellandwreathedthemassesoffloatingice。

Winifredwasstandingbythewindowwhensheheardthefrontdooropen。ShehurriedtothehallasAlexandercamestampingin，coveredwithsnow。Hekissedherjoyfullyandbrushedawaythesnowthatfellonherhair。

"IwishIhadaskedyoutomeetmeattheofficeandwalkhomewithme，Winifred。

TheCommonisbeautiful。Theboyshavesweptthesnowoffthepondandareskatingfuriously。

Didthecyclamenscome？"

"Anhourago。Whatsplendidones!

Butaren’tyoufrightfullyextravagant？"

"NotforChristmas—time。I’llgoupstairsandchangemycoat。Ishallbedowninamoment。

TellThomastogeteverythingready。"

WhenAlexanderreappeared，hetookhiswife’sarmandwentwithherintothelibrary。

"Whendidtheazaleasgethere？

Thomashasgotthewhiteoneinmyroom。"

"Itoldhimtoputitthere。"

"But，Isay，it’smuchthefinestofthelot!"

"That’swhyIhaditputthere。Thereistoomuchcolorinthatroomforaredone，youknow。"

Bartleybegantosortthegreens。"Itlooksverysplendidthere，butIfeelpiggishtohaveit。However，wereallyspendmoretimetherethananywhereelseinthehouse。

Willyouhandmetheholly？"

Heclimbedupthestepladder，whichcreakedunderhisweight，andbegantotwistthetoughstemsofthehollyintotheframe—

workofthechandelier。

"IforgottotellyouthatIhadaletterfromWilson，thismorning，explaininghistelegram。HeiscomingonbecauseanolduncleupinVermonthasconvenientlydiedandleftWilsonalittlemoney——somethingliketenthousand。He’scomingontosettleuptheestate。Won’titbejollytohavehim？"

"Andhowfinethathe’scomeintoalittlemoney。IcanseehimpostingdownStateStreettothesteamshipoffices。Hewillgetagoodmanytripsoutofthattenthousand。

Whatcanhavedetainedhim？Iexpectedhimhereforluncheon。"

"ThosetrainsfromAlbanyarealwayslate。He’llbealongsometimethisafternoon。

Andnow，don’tyouwanttogoupstairsandliedownforanhour？You’vehadabusymorningandIdon’twantyoutobetiredto—night。"

AfterhiswifewentupstairsAlexanderworkedenergeticallyatthegreensforafewmoments。Then，ashewascuttingoffalengthofstring，hesighedsuddenlyandsatdown，staringoutofthewindowatthesnow。

Theanimationdiedoutofhisface，butinhiseyestherewasarestlesslight，alookofapprehensionandsuspense。Hekeptclaspingandunclaspinghisbighandsasifheweretryingtorealizesomething。Theclocktickedthroughtheminutesofahalf—hourandtheafternoonoutsidebegantothickenanddarkenturbidly。Alexander，sincehefirstsatdown，hadnotchangedhisposition。Heleanedforward，hishandsbetweenhisknees，scarcelybreathing，asifhewereholdinghimselfawayfromhissurroundings，fromtheroom，andfromtheverychairinwhichhesat，fromeverythingexceptthewildeddiesofsnowabovetheriveronwhichhiseyeswerefixedwithfeverishintentness，asifheweretryingtoprojecthimselfthither。WhenatlastLuciusWilsonwasannounced，Alexandersprangeagerlytohisfeetandhurriedtomeethisoldinstructor。

"Hello，Wilson。Whatluck!Comeintothelibrary。Wearetohavealotofpeopletodinnerto—night，andWinifred’slyingdown。

Youwillexcuseher，won’tyou？Andnowwhataboutyourself？Sitdownandtellmeeverything。"

"IthinkI’drathermoveabout，ifyoudon’tmind。

I’vebeensittinginthetrainforaweek，itseemstome。"Wilsonstoodbeforethefirewithhishandsbehindhimandlookedabouttheroom。"YouHAVEbeenbusy。

Bartley，ifI’dhadmychoiceofallpossibleplacesinwhichtospendChristmas，yourhousewouldcertainlybetheplaceI’dhavechosen。

Happypeopledoagreatdealfortheirfriends。

Ahouselikethisthrowsitswarmthout。

IfeltitdistinctlyasIwascomingthroughtheBerkshires。IcouldscarcelybelievethatIwastoseeMrs。Bartleyagainsosoon。"

"Thankyou，Wilson。She’llbeasgladtoseeyou。Shallwehaveteanow？I’llringforThomastoclearawaythislitter。

WinifredsaysIalwayswreckthehousewhenItrytodoanything。Doyouknow，Iamquitetired。

LooksasifIwerenotusedtowork，doesn’tit？"

Alexanderlaughedanddroppedintoachair。

"Youknow，I’msailingthedayafterNewYear’s。"

"Again？Why，you’vebeenovertwicesinceIwashereinthespring，haven’tyou？"

"Oh，IwasinLondonabouttendaysinthesummer。Wenttoescapethehotweathermorethananythingelse。Ishan’tbegonemorethanamonththistime。WinifredandI

havebeenupinCanadaformostoftheautumn。ThatMoorlockBridgeisonmybackallthetime。Ineverhadsomuchtroublewithajobbefore。"Alexandermovedaboutrestlesslyandfelltopokingthefire。

"Haven’tIseeninthepapersthatthereissometroubleaboutatidewaterbridgeofyoursinNewJersey？"

"Oh，thatdoesn’tamounttoanything。

It’sheldupbyasteelstrike。Abother，ofcourse，butthesortofthingoneisalwayshavingtoputupwith。ButtheMoorlockBridgeisacontinualanxiety。Yousee，thetruthis，wearehavingtobuildprettywelltothestrainlimitupthere。They’vecrowdedmetoomuchonthecost。It’sallverywellifeverythinggoeswell，buttheseestimateshaveneverbeenusedforanythingofsuchlengthbefore。However，there’snothingtobedone。

TheyholdmetothescaleI’veusedinshorterbridges。Thelastthingabridgecommissioncaresaboutisthekindofbridgeyoubuild。"

WhenBartleyhadfinisheddressingfordinnerhewentintohisstudy，wherehefoundhiswifearrangingflowersonhiswriting—table。

"ThesepinkrosesjustcamefromMrs。Hastings，"

shesaid，smiling，"andIamsureshemeantthemforyou。"

Bartleylookedaboutwithanairofsatisfactionatthegreensandthewreathsinthewindows。

"Haveyouamoment，Winifred？IhavejustnowbeenthinkingthatthisisourtwelfthChristmas。

Canyourealizeit？"Hewentuptothetableandtookherhandsawayfromtheflowers，dryingthemwithhispockethandkerchief。

"They’vebeenawfullyhappyones，allofthem，haven’tthey？"Hetookherinhisarmsandbentback，liftingheralittleandgivingheralongkiss。

"Youarehappy，aren’tyouWinifred？Morethananythingelseintheworld，Iwantyoutobehappy。

Sometimes，oflate，I’vethoughtyoulookedasifyouweretroubled。"

"No；it’sonlywhenyouaretroubledandharassedthatIfeelworried，Bartley。

Iwishyoualwaysseemedasyoudoto—night。

Butyoudon’t，always。"Shelookedearnestlyandinquiringlyintohiseyes。

Alexandertookhertwohandsfromhisshouldersandswungthembackandforthinhisown，laughinghisbigblondlaugh。

"I’mgrowingolder，mydear；that’swhatyoufeel。Now，mayIshowyousomething？

Imeanttosavethemuntilto—morrow，butI

wantyoutowearthemto—night。"Hetookalittleleatherboxoutofhispocketandopenedit。Onthewhitevelvetlaytwolongpendantsofcuriouslyworkedgold，setwithpearls。

WinifredlookedfromtheboxtoBartleyandexclaimed：——

"Wheredidyoueverfindsuchgoldwork，Bartley？"

"It’soldFlemish。Isn’titfine？"

"Theyarethemostbeautifulthings，dear。

But，youknow，Ineverwearearrings。"

"Yes，yes，Iknow。ButIwantyoutowearthem。Ihavealwayswantedyouto。

Sofewwomencan。Theremustbeagoodear，tobeginwith，andanose"——hewavedhishand——"abovereproach。Mostwomenlooksillyinthem。Theygoonlywithfaceslikeyours——very，veryproud，andjustalittlehard。"

Winifredlaughedasshewentovertothemirrorandfittedthedelicatespringstothelobesofherears。"Oh，Bartley，thatoldfoolishnessaboutmybeinghard。Itreallyhurtsmyfeelings。ButImustgodownnow。

Peoplearebeginningtocome。"

Bartleydrewherarmabouthisneckandwenttothedoorwithher。"Nothardtome，Winifred，"

hewhispered。"Never，neverhardtome。"

Leftalone，hepacedupanddownhisstudy。Hewasathomeagain，amongallthedearfamiliarthingsthatspoketohimofsomanyhappyyears。Hishouseto—nightwouldbefullofcharmingpeople，wholikedandadmiredhim。Yetallthetime，underneathhispleasureandhopefulnessandsatisfaction，hewasconsciousofthevibrationofanunnaturalexcitement。Amidthislightandwarmthandfriendliness，hesometimesstartedandshuddered，asifsomeonehadsteppedonhisgrave。

Somethinghadbrokenlooseinhimofwhichheknewnothingexceptthatitwassullenandpowerful，andthatitwrungandtorturedhim。

Sometimesitcameuponhimsoftly，inenervatingreveries。

Sometimesitbatteredhimlikethecannonrollingintheholdofthevessel。Always，now，itbroughtwithitasenseofquickenedlife，ofstimulatingdanger。

To—nightitcameuponhimsuddenly，ashewaswalkingthefloor，afterhiswifelefthim。

Itseemedimpossible；hecouldnotbelieveit。

Heglancedentreatinglyatthedoor，asiftocallherback。Heheardvoicesinthehallbelow，andknewthathemustgodown。Goingovertothewindow，helookedoutatthelightsacrosstheriver。

Howcouldthishappenhere，inhisownhouse，amongthethingsheloved？Whatwasitthatreachedinoutofthedarknessandthrilledhim？Ashestoodtherehehadafeelingthathewouldneverescape。Heshuthiseyesandpressedhisforeheadagainstthecoldwindowglass，breathinginthechillthatcamethroughit。"Thatthis，"hegroaned，"thatthisshouldhavehappenedtoME!"

OnNewYear’sdayathawsetin，andduringthenighttorrentsofrainfell。

Inthemorning，themorningofAlexander’sdepartureforEngland，theriverwasstreakedwithfogandtheraindrovehardagainstthewindowsofthebreakfast—room。Alexanderhadfinishedhiscoffeeandwaspacingupanddown。Hiswifesatatthetable，watchinghim。Shewaspaleandunnaturallycalm。

WhenThomasbroughttheletters，Bartleysankintohischairandranthemoverrapidly。

"Here’sanotefromoldWilson。He’ssafebackathisgrind，andsayshehadabullytime。

`ThememoryofMrs。Bartleywillmakemywholewinterfragrant。’Justlikehim。

Hewillgoongettingmeasurelesssatisfactionoutofyoubyhisstudyfire。Whatamanheisforlookingonatlife!"Bartleysighed，pushedthelettersbackimpatiently，andwentovertothewindow。"Thisisanastysortofdaytosail。I’veanotiontocallitoff。Nextweekwouldbetimeenough。"

"Thatwouldonlymeanstartingtwice。

Itwouldn’treallyhelpyououtatall，"

Mrs。Alexanderspokesoothingly。"Andyou’dcomebacklateforallyourengagements。"

Bartleybeganjinglingsomeloosecoinsinhispocket。"Iwishthingswouldletmerest。

I’mtiredofwork，tiredofpeople，tiredoftrailingabout。"Helookedoutatthestorm—beatenriver。

Winifredcameupbehindhimandputahandonhisshoulder。"That’swhatyoualwayssay，poorBartley!Atbottomyoureallylikeallthesethings。Can’tyourememberthat？"

Heputhisarmabouther。"Allthesame，liferunssmoothlyenoughwithsomepeople，andwithmeit’salwaysamessysortofpatchwork。

It’slikethesong；peaceiswhereIamnot。

Howcanyoufaceitallwithsomuchfortitude？"

ShelookedathimwiththatcleargazewhichWilsonhadsomuchadmired，whichhehadfeltimpliedsuchhighconfidenceandfearlesspride。"Oh，Ifacedthatlongago，whenyouwereonyourfirstbridge，upatoldAllway。Iknewthenthatyourpathswerenottobepathsofpeace，butIdecidedthatIwantedtofollowthem。"

Bartleyandhiswifestoodsilentforalongtime；thefirecrackledinthegrate，therainbeatinsistentlyuponthewindows，andthesleepyAngoralookedupatthemcuriously。

PresentlyThomasmadeadiscreetsoundatthedoor。

"ShallEdwardbringdownyourtrunks，sir？"

"Yes；theyareready。Tellhimnottoforgetthebigportfolioonthestudytable。"

Thomaswithdrew，closingthedoorsoftly。

Bartleyturnedawayfromhiswife，stillholdingherhand。"Itnevergetsanyeasier，Winifred。"

Theybothstartedatthesoundofthecarriageonthepavementoutside。Alexandersatdownandleanedhisheadonhishand。

Hiswifebentoverhim。"Courage，"shesaidgayly。Bartleyroseandrangthebell。Thomasbroughthimhishatandstickandulster。Atthesightofthese，thesuperciliousAngoramovedrestlessly，quittedherredcushionbythefire，andcameup，wavinghertailinvexationattheseominousindicationsofchange。Alexanderstoopedtostrokeher，andthenplungedintohiscoatanddrewonhisgloves。Hiswifeheldhisstick，smiling。

Bartleysmiledtoo，andhiseyescleared。

"I’llworklikethedevil，Winifred，andbehomeagainbeforeyourealizeI’vegone。"Hekissedherquicklyseveraltimes，hurriedoutofthefrontdoorintotherain，andwavedtoherfromthecarriagewindowasthedriverwasstartinghismelancholy，drippingblackhorses。Alexandersatwithhishandsclenchedonhisknees。Asthecarriageturnedupthehill，heliftedonehandandbroughtitdownviolently。

"Thistime"——hespokealoudandthroughhissetteeth——

"thistimeI’mgoingtoendit!"

Ontheafternoonofthethirddayout，Alexanderwassittingwelltothestern，onthewindwardsidewherethechairswerefew，hisrugsoverhimandthecollarofhisfur—linedcoatturnedupabouthisears。

Theweatherhadsofarbeendarkandraw。

Fortwohourshehadbeenwatchingthelow，dirtyskyandthebeatingoftheheavyrainupontheiron—coloredsea。Therewasalong，oilyswellthatmadeexerciselaborious。

Thedeckssmelledofdampwoolens，andtheairwassohumidthatdropsofmoisturekeptgatheringuponhishairandmustache。

Heseldommovedexcepttobrushthemaway。

Thegreatopenspacesmadehimpassiveandtherestlessnessofthewaterquietedhim。

Heintendedduringthevoyagetodecideuponacourseofaction，butheheldallthisawayfromhimforthepresentandlayinablessedgrayoblivion。Deepdowninhimsomewherehisresolutionwasweakeningandstrengthening，ebbingandflowing。Thethingthatperturbedhimwentonassteadilyashispulse，buthewasalmostunconsciousofit。

Hewassubmergedinthevastimpersonalgraynessabouthim，andatintervalsthesidelongrolloftheboatmeasuredofftimelikethetickingofaclock。Hefeltreleasedfromeverythingthattroubledandperplexedhim。Itwasasifhehadtrickedandoutwittedtorturingmemories，hadactuallymanagedtogetonboardwithoutthem。

Hethoughtofnothingatall。Ifhismindnowandagainpickedafaceoutofthegrayness，itwasLuciusWilson’s，orthefaceofanoldschoolmate，forgottenforyears；oritwastheslimoutlineofafavoritegreyhoundheusedtohuntjack—rabbitswithwhenhewasaboy。

Towardsixo’clockthewindroseandtuggedatthetarpaulinandbroughttheswellhigher。AfterdinnerAlexandercamebacktothewetdeck，piledhisdamprugsoverhimagain，andsatsmoking，losinghimselfintheobliteratingblacknessanddrowsingintherushofthegale。Beforehewentbelowafewbrightstarswereprickedoffbetweenheavilymovingmassesofcloud。

Thenextmorningwasbrightandmild，withafreshbreeze。Alexanderfelttheneedofexerciseevenbeforehecameoutofhiscabin。Whenhewentondecktheskywasblueandblinding，withheavywhiffsofwhitecloud，smoke—coloredattheedges，movingrapidlyacrossit。Thewaterwasroughish，acold，clearindigobreakingintowhitecaps。

Bartleywalkedfortwohours，andthenstretchedhimselfinthesununtillunch—time。

IntheafternoonhewrotealonglettertoWinifred。Later，ashewalkedthedeckthroughasplendidgoldensunset，hisspiritsrosecontinually。Itwasagreeabletocometohimselfagainafterseveraldaysofnumbnessandtorpor。Hestayedoutuntilthelasttingeofviolethadfadedfromthewater。Therewasliterallyatasteoflifeonhislipsashesatdowntodinnerandorderedabottleofchampagne。

Hewaslateinfinishinghisdinner，anddrankrathermorewinethanhehadmeantto。Whenhewentabove，thewindhadrisenandthedeckwasalmostdeserted。Ashesteppedoutofthedooragaleliftedhisheavyfurcoatabouthisshoulders。Hefoughthiswayupthedeckwithkeenexhilaration。

Themomenthestepped，almostoutofbreath，behindtheshelterofthestern，thewindwascutoff，andhefelt，likearushofwarmair，asenseofcloseandintimatecompanionship。

Hestartedbackandtorehiscoatopenasifsomethingwarmwereactuallyclingingtohimbeneathit。Hehurriedupthedeckandwentintothesaloonparlor，fullofwomenwhohadretreatedthitherfromthesharpwind。

Hethrewhimselfuponthem。Hetalkeddelightfullytotheolderonesandplayedaccompanimentsfortheyoungeronesuntilthelastsleepygirlhadfollowedhermotherbelow。Thenhewentintothesmoking—room。

Heplayedbridgeuntiltwoo’clockinthemorning，andmanagedtoloseaconsiderablesumofmoneywithoutreallynoticingthathewasdoingso。

Afterthebreakofonefinedaytheweatherwasprettyconsistentlydull。

Whenthelowskythinnedatrifle，thepalewhitespotofasundidnomorethanthrowabluishlustreonthewater，givingitthedarkbrightnessofnewlycutlead。ThroughoneafteranotherofthosegraydaysAlexanderdrowsedandmused，drinkinginthegratefulmoisture。Butthecompletepeaceofthefirstpartofthevoyagewasover。

Sometimesherosesuddenlyfromhischairasifdrivenout，andpacedthedeckforhours。Peoplenoticedhispropensityforwalkinginroughweather，andwatchedhimcuriouslyashedidhisrounds。Fromhisabstractionandthedeterminedsetofhisjaw，theyfanciedhemustbethinkingabouthisbridge。EveryonehadheardofthenewcantileverbridgeinCanada。

ButAlexanderwasnotthinkingabouthiswork。

Afterthefourthnightout，whenhiswillsuddenlysoftenedunderhishands，hehadbeencontinuallyhammeringawayathimself。

Moreandmoreoften，whenhefirstwakenedinthemorningorwhenhesteppedintoawarmplaceafterbeingchilledonthedeck，hefeltasuddenpainfuldelightatbeingneareranothershore。Sometimeswhenhewasmostdespondent，whenhethoughthimselfwornoutwiththisstruggle，inaflashhewasfreeofitandleapedintoanoverwhelmingconsciousnessofhimself。Ontheinstanthefeltthatmarvelousreturnoftheimpetuousness，theintenseexcitement，theincreasingexpectancyofyouth。

CHAPTERVI

ThelasttwodaysofthevoyageBartleyfoundalmostintolerable。ThestopatQueenstown，thetediouspassageuptheMersey，werethingsthathenoteddimlythroughhisgrowingimpatience。HehadplannedtostopinLiverpool；but，instead，hetooktheboattrainforLondon。

EmergingatEustonathalf—pastthreeo’clockintheafternoon，AlexanderhadhisluggagesenttotheSavoyanddroveatoncetoBedfordSquare。WhenMariemethimatthedoor，evenherstrongsenseoftheproprietiescouldnotrestrainhersurpriseanddelight。Sheblushedandsmiledandfumbledhiscardinherconfusionbeforesheranupstairs。Alexanderpacedupanddownthehallway，buttoningandunbuttoninghisovercoat，untilshereturnedandtookhimuptoHilda’sliving—room。Theroomwasemptywhenheentered。

Acoalfirewascracklinginthegrateandthelampswerelit，foritwasalreadybeginningtogrowdarkoutside。Alexanderdidnotsitdown。HestoodhisgroundoverbythewindowsuntilHildacamein。

Shecalledhisnameonthethreshold，butinherswiftflightacrosstheroomshefeltachangeinhimandcaughtherselfupsodeftlythathecouldnottelljustwhenshedidit。

Shemerelybrushedhischeekwithherlipsandputahandlightlyandjoyouslyoneithershoulder。

"Oh，whatagrandthingtohappenonarawday!IfeltitinmyboneswhenIwokethismorningthatsomethingsplendidwasgoingtoturnup。IthoughtitmightbeSisterKateorCousinMikewouldbehappeningalong。

Ineverdreameditwouldbeyou，Bartley。

Butwhydoyouletmechatteronlikethis？

Comeovertothefire；you’rechilledthrough。"

Shepushedhimtowardthebigchairbythefire，andsatdownonastoolattheoppositesideofthehearth，herkneesdrawnuptoherchin，laughinglikeahappylittlegirl。

"Whendidyoucome，Bartley，andhowdidithappen？Youhaven’tspokenaword。"

"Igotinabouttenminutesago。IlandedatLiverpoolthismorningandcamedownontheboattrain。"

Alexanderleanedforwardandwarmedhishandsbeforetheblaze。Hildawatchedhimwithperplexity。

"There’ssomethingtroublingyou，Bartley。

Whatisit？"

Bartleybentloweroverthefire。"It’sthewholethingthattroublesme，Hilda。YouandI。"

Hildatookaquick，softbreath。Shelookedathisheavyshouldersandbig，determinedhead，thrustforwardlikeacatapultinleash。

"Whataboutus，Bartley？"sheaskedinathinvoice。

Helockedandunlockedhishandsoverthegrateandspreadhisfingersclosetothebluishflame，whilethecoalscrackledandtheclocktickedandastreetvendorbegantocallunderthewindow。AtlastAlexanderbroughtoutoneword：——

"Everything!"

Hildawaspalebythistime，andhereyeswerewidewithfright。ShelookedaboutdesperatelyfromBartleytothedoor，thentothewindows，andbackagaintoBartley。Sheroseuncertainly，touchedhishairwithherhand，thensankbackuponherstool。

"I’lldoanythingyouwishmeto，Bartley，"

shesaidtremulously。"Ican’tstandseeingyoumiserable。"

"Ican’tlivewithmyselfanylonger，"

heansweredroughly。

Heroseandpushedthechairbehindhimandbegantowalkmiserablyabouttheroom，seemingtofindittoosmallforhim。

Hepulledupawindowasiftheairwereheavy。

Hildawatchedhimfromhercorner，tremblingandscarcelybreathing，darkshadowsgrowingabouthereyes。

"It……ithasn’talwaysmadeyoumiserable，hasit？"Hereyelidsfellandherlipsquivered。

"Always。Butit’sworsenow。It’sunbearable。

Ittorturesmeeveryminute。"

"ButwhyNOW？"sheaskedpiteously，wringingherhands。

Heignoredherquestion。"Iamnotamanwhocanlivetwolives，"hewentonfeverishly。"Eachlifespoilstheother。

Igetnothingbutmiseryoutofeither。

Theworldisallthere，justasitusedtobe，butIcan’tgetatitanymore。Thereisthisdeceptionbetweenmeandeverything。"

Atthatword"deception，"spokenwithsuchself—contempt，thecolorflashedbackintoHilda’sfaceassuddenlyasifshehadbeenstruckbyawhiplash。Shebitherlipandlookeddownatherhands，whichwereclaspedtightlyinfrontofher。

"Couldyou——couldyousitdownandtalkaboutitquietly，Bartley，asifIwereafriend，andnotsomeonewhohadtobedefied？"

Hedroppedbackheavilyintohischairbythefire。"ItwasmyselfIwasdefying，Hilda。

IhavethoughtaboutituntilIamwornout。"

Helookedatherandhishaggardfacesoftened。

Heputouthishandtowardherashelookedawayagainintothefire。