第2章
CHAPTERVI.
ALITTLEbandofpainterscameintoEdinburghfromaprofessionalwalk.
ThreewereofEdinburgh——Groove，agedfifty;JonesandHyacinth，young;
thelatterlong—haired.
WiththemwasayoungEnglishman，theleaderoftheexpedition，CharlesGatty.
Hisstepwaselastic，andhismannerwonderfullyanimated，withoutloudness.
"Abrightday，"saidhe."Thesunforgotwherehewas，andshone;
everythingwasinfavorofart."
"Oh，dear，no，"repliedoldGroove，"notwhereIwas"
"Why，whatwasthematter？"
"Theflieskeptbuzzingandbiting，andstickinginthework.That’stheworstofouto’doors！"
"Theflies！isthatall？Swearthespidersinspecialconstablesnexttime，"criedGatty."Weshallwintheday;"andlightshoneintohishazeleye.
"Theworldwillnotalwaysputupwiththehumbugsofthebrush，who，toimitateNature，turntheirbackonher.Paintanouto’doorsceneindoors！Iswearbythesunit’salie！theonestupid，impudentliethatglittersamongtheliesofvulgarart，likeSatanamongBelial，Mammonandallthosebeggars.
"Nowlookhere;thebarrenoutlinesofascenemustbelookedat，tobedone;hencethesketchingsystemslop—sellersoftheAcademy！butthemilliondelicaciesoflight，shade，andcolorcanbetrustedtomemory，canthey？
"It’saliebigenoughtoshaketheearthoutofhercourse;ifanypartoftheworkcouldbetrustedtomemoryorimagination，ithappenstobethebareoutlines，andtheycan’t.Themillionsubtletiesoflightandcolor;learnthembyheart，andsaythemoffoncanvas！thehighestangelintheskymusthavehiseyeuponthem，andlookdevilishsharp，too，orheshan’tpaintthem.IgivehimCharlesGatty’swordforthat."
"That’sveryeloquent，Icallit，"saidJones.
"Yes，"saidpooroldGroove，"theladwillnevermakeapainter."
"Yes，Ishall，Groove;atleastIhopeso，butitmustbealongtimefirst."
"Ineverknewapainterwhocouldtalkandpaintboth，"explainedMr.
Groove.
"Verywell，"saidGatty."ThenI’llsaybutonewordmore，anditisthis.Theartificeofpaintingisoldenoughtodie;itistimetheartwasborn.Wheneveritdoescomeintotheworld，youwillseenomoredeadcorpsesoftrees，grassandwater，robbedoftheirlife，thesunlight，andflunguponcanvasinastudio，bythelightofacigar，andalie——and——"
"Howmuchdoyouexpectforyourpicture？"interruptedJones.
"Whathasthattodowithit？Withtheselittleswords"（wavinghisbrush），"we’llfightfornature—light，truthlight，andsunlightagainstaworldinarms——no，worse，inswaddlingclothes."
"Withtheselittleswerrds，"repliedpooroldGroove，"weshallcutourownthroatsifwegoagainstpeople’sprejudices."
Theyoungartistlaughedtheolddaubsteramerrydefiance，andthenseparatedfromtheparty，forhislodgingsweredownthestreet.
Hehadnotleftthemlong，beforeamostmusicalvoicewasheard，crying：
"Acaallerrowoo！"
Andtwoyoungfishwiveshoveinsight.TheboysrecognizedoneofthemasGatty’ssweetheart.
"Isheinlovewithher？"inquiredJones.
Hyacinththelong—hairedundertooktoreply.
"HelovesherbetterthananythingintheworldexceptArt.LoveandArtaretwobeautifulthings，"whinedHyacinth.
"She，too，isbeautiful.Ihavedoneher，"addedhe，withasimper.
"Inoil？"askedGroove.
"Inoil？no，inverse，here;"andhetookoutapaper.
"Thenhadn’twebettercut？youmightproposereadingthem，"saidpooroldGroove.
"Haveyouanyoysters？"inquiredJonesoftheCarnieandtheJohnstone，whowerenowalongside.
"Plenty，"answeredJean."Haeyeonysiller？"
Theartistslookedatoneanother，anddidn’tallspeakatonce.
"I，madam，"saidoldGroove，insinuatingly，toChristie，"amafriendofMr.Gatty’s;perhaps，onthataccount，youwould_lend_meanoysterortwo."
"Na，"saidJean，sternly.
"Hyacinth，"saidJones，sarcastically，"givethemyourverses，perhapsthatwillsoftenthem."
Hyacinthgavehisverses，descriptiveofherself，toChristie.Thisyoungsterwasoneofthosewhomindotherpeople’sbusiness.
_Alienisstudiisdelectatuscontempsitsuum._
Hisdestinywastobeabadpainter，sohewantedtobeanexecrablepoet.
Allthismorninghehadbeendoggreling，whenheoughttohavebeendaubing;andnowhewillhavetosupoffacoloredprint，ifhesupsatall.
Christieread，blushed，andputtheversesinherbosom.
"Comeawa，Custy，"saidJean.
"Hets，"saidChristie，"giethepuirladstwarreeoysters，whatthewaurwillwebe？"
Sotheyopenedtheoystersforthem;andHyacinththelong—hairedlookeddownontheotherswithsarcastico—benignantsuperiority.Hehadconductedasisterarttotheaidofhisbrotherbrushes.
"Thepoet’sempire，allourheartsallow;Butdoggrel’spowerwasneverknowntillnow."
CHAPTERVII.
ATthecommencementofthelastchapter，CharlesGatty，artist，wasgoingtousherinanewstateofthings，trueart，etc.WaleswastobepaintedinWales，notPolandStreet.
Heandfiveorsixmoreyoungstersweretobeintheforemostfilesoftruth，andtaketheworldbystorm.
Thiswasattwoo’clock;itisnowfive;whereuponthepostureofaffairs，theprospectsofart，thefaceoftheworld，thenatureofthings，arequitethereverse.
Intheartist’sroom，onthefloor，wasasmallchild，whosemovements，andtheyweremany，wereviewedwithhugedissatisfactionbyCharlesGatty，Esq.Thispersonage，pencilinhand，satslouchingandmorose，lookinggloomilyathisintractablemodel.
Thingsweregoingonverybadly;hehadbeenwaitingtwohoursforaninfantineposeascommonasdirt，andthelittleviperwoulddiefirst.
Outofdoorseverythingwasnothing，forthesunwasobscured，andtoallappearanceextinguishedforever.
"Ah！Mr.Groove，"criedhe，tothatworthy，whopeepedinatthatmoment;
youareright，itisbettertoplowawayuponcanvasblindfold，asourgrandfathers——no，grandmothers——used，thantokillourselvestoilingaftersuchcoyladiesasNatureandTruth."
"Aweel，Idinnaken，sirr，"repliedGroove，insmoothtones."Ididnaliketoexpressmywarmapprobationofyoubeforethelads，forfearofmakingthemjealous."
"Theybe——No！"
"Ikenwhatyewadsay，sirr，anitwadhaebeenavarajustan’
sprightlyobservation.Aweel，betweenoursels，Ilookuponyeasayounggentlemanofamazingtalentandmoedesty.Man，yedinnadoyourseljustice;yeshouldbeinth’Academy，atthehedeo’’t."
"Mr.Groove，Iamapoorfaintingpilgrimontheroad，wherestrongerspiritshavemarchederectbeforeme."
"Afaintin’pelgrim！Deilafrightso’ye，ye’reabriskandbonnylad.
Ah，sirr，inmyjuveniledays，wedidnafashwinature，andtruth，anthelike."
"Thelike！Whatislikenatureandtruth，exceptthemselves？"
"Varatrue，sirr;varatrue，andsaeIdootIwillneverattaintheheighto’profeeciencyyehaereached.An’atthisvaramoment，sir，"
continuedGroove，withdelicioussolemnityandmystery，"yeseebeforeye，sir，amanwhaisinmaistdismalwant——o’tenshellen！"（Apause.）
"Ifyoursuperiortalenthasputyeinpossessionofthatsum，yewouldobleegemeinfinitelybyatemporaryaccommodation，Mr.Gaattie."
"Whydidyounotcometothepointatonce？"criedGatty，bruskly，"insteadofhumblingmewithundeservedpraise.There."Grooveheldouthishand，butmadeawryfacewhen，insteadofmoney，Gattyputasketchintohishand.
"There，"saidGatty，"thatisalie！"
"Howcanitbealee？"saidtheother，withsourinadvertence."Howcanitbealee，whenIhaenaspoken？"
"Youdon’tunderstandme.Thatsketchisalibelonapoorcowandanunfortunateoak—tree.IdidthemattheAcademy.Theyhadneverdonemeanywrong，poorthings;theysufferedunjustly.Youtakethemtoashop，sweartheyareatreeandacow，andsomefool，thatneverreallylookedintoacoworatree，willgiveyoutenshillingsforthem."
"Areyesure，lad？"
"Iamsure.Mr.Groove，sir，ifyoucannotsellaliefortenshillingsyouarenotfittoliveinthisworld;whereistheliethatwillnotsellfortenshillings？"
"Ishallthinkthebettero’leesallmydays;sir，yourwordsareinspeeriting."AndawaywentGroovewiththesketch.
Gattyreflectedandstoppedhim.
"Onsecondthoughts，Groove，youmustnotasktenshillings;youmustasktwentypoundsforthatrubbish."
"Twentypund！WhatforwillIseektwentypund？"
"Simplybecausepeoplethatwouldnotgiveyoutenshillingsforitwillofferyouelevenpoundsforitifyouasktwentypounds."
"Thefules，"roaredGroove."Twentypund！hem！"Helookedcloserintoit.
"Fora’，"saidhe，"Ibegintoobsairveitisaworkofgreatmerit.I’llseektwentypund，an’I’llnotaklessthanfifteenschell’n，atpresent."
Thevisitofthisroutinepainterdidnotcheerourartist.
Thesmallchildgotacoalandpoundedthefloorwithitlikeamachineincapableoffatigue.Sothewished—forposeseemedmoreremotethanever.
Thedaywaxeddarkerinsteadoflighter;Mr.Gatty’sreflectionstookalsoastillmoresomberhue.
"EvenNaturespitesus，"thoughthe，"becauseweloveher."
"Thencant，tradition，numbers，slangandmoneyareagainstus;theleastoftheseissinglyamatchfortruth;weshalldieofdespairorpaintcobwebsinBedlam;andIamfaint，wearyofahopelessstruggle;andoneman’sbrushistruerthanmine，another’sisbolder——myhandandeyearenotintune.Ah！no！Ishallnever，never，neverbeapainter."
Theselastwordsbrokeaudiblyfromhimashisheadwentdownalmosttohisknees.
Ahandwasplacedonhisshoulderasaflakeofsnowfallsonthewater.
ItwasChristieJohnstone，radiant，whohadglidedinunobserved.
"What’swrangwi’ye，mylad？"
"ThesunisgonetotheDevil，foronething."
"Hech！hech！ye’llnobelongahinthim;divyenothinkshame."
"AndIwantthatlittlebrutejusttodoso，andhe’ddiefirst."
"Oh，yevillain，toca’abairnabrute;there’sbutaebrutehere，an’
it’snoyou，Jamie，norme——isit，mylamb？"
Shethensteppedtothewindow.
"It’scleartowindward;intenminutesye’llhaeplentysun.Takyourtoolsnoo."Andatthewordshekneltonthefloor，whippedoutapaperofsugar—plumsandsaidtohimshehadchristened"Jamie.""Heb！Here’ssweetiestillye."OutwentJamie’sarms，asifhehadbeenamachineandshehadpulledtherightstring.
"Ah，thatwilldo，"saidGatty，andsketchedaway.
Unfortunately，Jamiewasquicklyarrestedonthewaytoimmortalitybyhismother，whocamein，saying：
"Imaunhaemybairn——hecannabeayewastinghistimehere."
Thissallyawakenedthesatirethateverliesreadyinpiscatorybosoms.
"Wastinghistime！ye’renoblate.Oh，ye’llbefortakinghimtothecollegetolaernpheesick——andteachmaenners."
"Yeneednabeginonme，"saidthewoman."I’mnomatchforNewhaven."
Sosayingshecutshortthedisputebycarryingoffthegristleofcontention.
"Anotherenemytoart，"saidGatty，hurlingawayhispencil.
Theyoungfishwifeinquirediftherewereanymoregriefs.Whatshehadheardhadnotaccounted，toherreason，forhercompanion’sdepression.
"Areyesick，laddy？"saidshe.
"No，Christie，notsick，butquite，quitedowninthemouth."
Shescannedhimthirtyseconds.
Whathadyetillyourdinner？"
"Iforget."
"Achoep，likely？"
"Ithinkitwas."
"Ormaybeitwasasteak？"
"Idaresayitwasasteak."
"Tastemygirdlecake，thatI’vebroughtforye."
Shegavehimapiece;heateitrapidly，andlookedgratefullyather.
"Noo，divyenothinkshametolookmeintheface？Yehaenadinedava."
Andsheworeaninjuredlook.
"Sityethere;it’sowerlatefordinner，butye’llgetacuptea.Dooni’themooth，naewonder，whennaethinggangsdoonyour——"
Inaminutesheplacedatea—tray，andranintothekitchenwithateapot.
Thenextmomentayellwasheard，andshereturnedlaughing，withanotherteapot.
"Thewifehadmaskitteatillhersel’，"saidthislawlessforager.
Teaandcakeonthetable——beautyseatedbyhisside——allinlessthanaminute.
Heofferedherapieceofcake.
"Na！Iamnoforany."
"NorIthen，"saidhe.
"Hets！eat，Itellye."
Herepliedbyputtingabittoherheavenlymouth.
"Ye’reawfu’opinionated，"saidshe，withacountenancethatsaidnothingshouldinduceher，andeatingitalmostcontemporaneously.
"Putplentysugar，"addedshe，referringtotheChineseinfusion;"mind，Ihaeasweettooth."
"Youhaveasweetset，"saidhe，approachinganothermorsel.
Theyshowedthemselvesbywayofsmile，andconfirmedtheaccusation.
"Aha！lad，"answeredshe;"they’vebeenthedeatho’monyaherrin’！"
"Now，whatdoesthatmeaninEnglish，Christie？"
"Mygrinders——（afullstop.）
"Whichyouapprove——（afullstop.）
"Havebeenfatal——（afullstop.）
"Tomanyfishes！"
ChristiepridedherselfonherEnglish，whichshehadculledfrombooks.
Thenhemadeherdrinkfromthecup，andwasostentatiousinputtinghislipstothesamepartofthebrim.
Thensheleftthetable，andinspectedallthings.
Shecametohisdrawers，openedone，andwashorror—struck.
Therewerecoatsandtrousers，withtheirlimbsinterchangeablyintertwined，waistcoats，shirts，andcigars，hurledintochaos.
Sheinstantlytookthedrawerbodilyout，broughtit，leaneditagainstthetea—table，pointedsilentlyintoit，withanairofmajesticreproach，andawaitedtheresult.
"IcanfindwhateverIwant，"saidtheunblushingbachelor，"exceptmoney."
"Sillerdoesnabidewi’slovens！haeyeoftensiccanagaleo’windinyourdrawer？"
"Everyday！SpeakEnglish！"
"Aweel！How_do_you_do？_that’sEnnglish！Idaursay."
"Jolly！"criedhe，withhismouthfull.Christiewasnowfoldingupandneatlyarranginghisclothes.
"Willyouever，everbeapainter？"
"Iamapainter！IcouldpainttheDevilpea—green！"
"Dinnaspeako’yonlad，Chairles，it’snocanny."
"No！Iamgoingtopaintanangel;theprettiest，cleverestgirlinScotland，’TheSnowdropoftheNorth.’"
Andhedashedintohisbedroomtofindacanvas.
"Hech！"reflectedChristie."ThirEnnglishhaeflatteringtongues，assureasDethe;’TheSnawdrapo’theNorrth！’"
CHAPTERVIII.
GATTY’Sbackwashardlyturnedwhenavisitorarrived，andinquired，"IsMr.Gattyathome？"
"What’syourwillwi’him？"wastheScottishreply.
"Willyougivehimthis？"
"Whatest？"
"Areyoufondofaskingquestions？"inquiredtheman.
"Ay！andfulescannaanswerthem，"retortedChristie.
Thelittledocumentwhichtheman，inretiring，leftwithChristieJohnstonepurportedtocomefromoneVictoria，whoseemed，atfirstsight，disposedtoshowCharlesGattycivilities."Victoria——toCharlesGatty，greeting！（salutem）."Christiewasmuchstruckwiththisinstanceofroyalaffability;shereadnofurther，butbegantothink，"Victoree！
that’sthequeenhersel.Aletterfrathequeentoapainterlad！Picterswillrisei’themairket——itwillbeanordertopaintthebairns.Ihaebroughthimluck;Iamrealpleased."AndonGatty’sreturn，canvasinhand，shewhippedthedocumentbehindher，andsaidarchly，"Ihaesomethingforye，atecketfraaleddy，ye’llnowantsillerfrathisday."
"Indeed！"
"Ay！indeed，fraagreatleddy;it’svaragudeo’metogieyeit;heh！
takit."
Hedidtakeit，lookedstupefied，lookedagain，sunkintoachair，andglaredatit.
"Laddy！"saidChristie.
"Thisisanewsteponthedownwardpath，"saidthepoorpainter.
"Isitnoanorrdertopainttheyoungprence？"saidChristie，faintly.
"No！"almostshriekedthevictim."It’sawrit！Iowealotofmoney.
"Oh，Chairles！"
"See！Iborrowedsixtypoundssixmonthsagoofafriend，sonowIoweeighty！"
"Allright！"giggledtheunfriendlyvisitoratthedoor，whosedeparturehadbeenmoreorlessfictitious.
Christie，byanimpulse，notjustifiable，butnatural，drewheroyster—knifeout，andthistimethemanreallywentaway.
"Hairtlessmon！"criedshe，"couldhenodohisamdirrtywork，andnogarmegiethepuirladth’action，andhelikeitmesaeweel！"andshebegantowhimper.
"Andloveyoumorenow，"saidhe;"don’tyoucry，dear，toaddtomyvexation."
"Na！I’llnoaddtoyourvexation，"andshegulpeddownhertears.
"Besides，Ihavepicturespaintedworthtwohundredpounds;thisisonlyforeighty.Tobesureyoucan’tsellthemfortwohundredpencewhenyouwant.SoIshallgotojail，buttheywon’tkeepmelong.
Thenhetookaturn，andbegantofallintotheartistic，ortrueviewofmatters，which，indeed，wasneverlongabsentfromhim.
"Lookhere，Christie，"saidhe，"Iamsickofconventionalassassins，humbuggingmodels，withdirtybeards，thatknittheirbrows，andtrytolookmurder;theynevermurderedsomuchasatom—cat.Ialwaysgoinfortherealthing，andhereIshallfindit."
"Dinnaganginthere，lad，foronyfavor."
"ThenIshallfindtheaccessoriesofapictureIhaveinmyhead——chainswithgenuinerustandancientmoulderingstoneswiththestainsoftime."
Hiseyebrightenedattheprospect.
"Youamongfiefs，andchains，andstanes！Ye’llbreakmyhairt，laddy，ye’llnobeeasytillyoubreakmyhairt."Andthistimethetearswouldnotbedenied.
"Iloveyouforcrying;don’tcry;"andhefishedfromthechaoticdraweracambrichandkerchief，withwhichhedriedhertearsastheyfell.
Itismyfirmbeliefshecriednearlytwiceasmuchasshereallywantedto;shecontrivedtomakethegriefhers，thesympathyhis.Suddenlyshestopped，andsaid：
"I’mdaft;ye’llacceptalaneo’thesillerframe，willyeno？"
"No！"saidhe."Andwherecouldyoufindeightypound？"
"Auchtypund，"criedshe，"it’snoauchtypundthatwilldingChristieJohnstone，laddy.Ihaeboatsandnetsworthtwaauchtys;andIhaefortypundlaidby;andIhaesevenhundredpundatLondon，butthatIcannameddle.Myfeytherlentitthekingorthequeen，Idinnajustlymind;
shepaysmetheinteresttwicetheyear.SacyekenIcouldnabesaedirtyasseekmysiller，whenshepaysmeth’interest.Totheveryday，yeken.She’sjusttheonlyoneo’a’mydebtorsthat’shoenest，butneverheed，ye’llnogangtojail."
"I’llholdmytongue，andsacrificemypictures，"thoughtCharles.
"Cheerup！"saidChristie，mistakingthenatureofhisthoughts，"foritdidnacomefraVictoreehersel’.Itwadsmello’themusk，yeken.Na，it’sjustawheenblackguardsatLondonthatmakesuseo’hernametotormentpuirfolk.Wadshepairsecuteapuirlad？Nolikely."
Shethenaskedquestions，someofwhichwereembarrassing.Onethinghecouldneversucceedinmakingherunderstand，how，sinceitwassixtypoundsheborrowed，itcouldbeeightypoundsheowed.
Thenoncemoreshepromisedhimherprotection，badehimbeofgoodcheer，andlefthim.
Atthedoorsheturned，andsaid："Chairles，here’sanauldwifeseekingye，"andvanished.
ThesetwoyoungpeoplehadfallenacquaintedataNewhavenwedding.
Christie，belongingtonoone，haddancedwithhimallthenight，theyhadwalkedunderthestarstocoolthemselves，fordancingreels，withheartandsoul，isnotquadrilling.
ThenhehadseenhisbeautifulpartnerinEdinburgh，andmadeasketchofher，whichhegaveher;andbyandbyheusedtorundowntoNewhaven，andstrollupanddownacertaingreenlanenearthetown.
Next，onSundayevenings，alongwalktogether，andthenitcametovisitsathisplacenowandthen.
Andhere.RaphaelandFornarinawereinverted，ourartistusedtowork，andChristietellhimstoriesthewhile.
And，ashervoicecurledroundhisheart，heusedtosmileandlook，andlayinspiredtouchesonhissubject.
Andshe，anartistofthetongue（withoutknowingherselfone），usedtomakehimgrave，orgay，orsad，atwill，andwatchtheeffectofherartuponhiscountenance;andaveryprettyartitis——the_vivavoce_
story—teller’s——andarareoneamongthenationsofEurope.
Christiehadnotlearneditinaday;whenshebegan，sheusedtotellthemliketheotherNewhavenpeople，withanobleimpartialityofdetail，wearisometothehearer.
Butlatterlyshehadlearnedtoseizethesalientpartsofanarrative;
hervoicehadcompass，and，likeallfinespeakers，shetraveledoveragreatmanynotesinspeaking;herlowtonesweregorgeouslyrich，heruppertonesfullandsweet;allthis，andherbeauty，madethehoursshegavehimverysweettoourpoorartist.
Hewaswonttobaskinhermusic，andtellherinreturnhowhelovedher，andhowhappytheywerebothtobeassoonashehadacquiredaname，foranamewaswealth，hetoldher.AndalthoughChristieJohnstonedidnotlethimseehowmuchshetookallthistoheartandbelievedit，itwasassweetmusictoherasherownhoneysucklebreathtohim.
Sheimprovedhim.
Hedroppedcigars，andmedicalstudents，andsimilarabominations.
Christie’scool，freshbreath，asshehungoverhimwhilepainting，suggestedtohimthatsmokingmight，peradventure，beasinagainstnatureaswellasagainstcleanliness.
Andheimprovedher;shelearnedfromarttolookintonature（theusualprocessofmind）.
Shehadnoticedtoolittletheflickeringgoldoftheleavesatevening，thepurplehills，andtheshiftingstoriesandgloriesofthesky;butnow，whatevershesawhimtrytoimitate，shelearnedtoexamine.Shewasawoman，andadmiredsunset，etc.，forthisboy’ssake，andherwholeheartexpandedwithanewsensationthatsoftenedhermannertoalltheworld，andbrightenedherpersonalrays.
Thischarmingpictureofmutualaffectionhadhithertobeenadmiredonlybythosewhofiguredinit.
Butavisitorhadnowarrivedonpurposetoinspectit，etc.，attractedbyreport.
AfriendhadconsideratelyinformedMrs.Gatty，theartist’smother，andshehadinstantlystartedfromNewcastle.
ThiswastheoldladyChristiediscoveredonthestairs.
Hersuddenappearancetookherson’sbreathaway.
Nohumaneventwaslesslikelythanthatsheshouldbethere，yetthereshewas.
Afterthefirstsurpriseandaffectionategreetings，amisgivingcrossedhim，"shemustknowaboutthewrit"——itwasimpossible;butourmindsaresoconstituted——whenweareguilty，wefearthatothersknowwhatweknow.NowGattywasparticularlyanxioussheshouldnotknowaboutthiswrit，forhehadincurredthedebtbyactingagainstheradvice.
LastyearhecommencedapictureinwhichwasDurhamCathedral;hismotherbadehimstayquietlyathome，andpaintthecathedralanditsbanksfromaprint，"asanyotherpainterwould，"observedshe.
Butthiswasnotthelad’ssystem;hespentfivemonthsonthespot，andpaintedhispicture，buthehadtoborrowsixtypoundstodothis;theconditionofthisloanwas，thatinsixmonthsheshouldeitherpayeightypounds，orfinishandhandoveracertainhalf—finishedpicture.
Hedidneither;hisnewsubjectthrustasidehisoldone，andhehadnomoney，ergo，hisfriend，apicture—dealer，whohadfoundartistsslipperyinmoneymatters，followedhimupsharp，aswesee.
"Thereisnothingthematter，Ihope，mother.Whatisit？"
"I’mtired，Charles."Hebroughtheraseat;shesatdown.
"IdidnotcomefromNewcastle，atmyage，fornothing;youhaveformedanimproperacquaintance."
"I，who？IsitJackAdams？"
"WorsethananyJackAdams！"
"Whocanthatbe？Jenkyns，mother，becausehedoesthesamethingsasJack，andpretendstobereligious."
"Itisafemale——afishwife.Oh，myson！"
"ChristieJohnstoneanimproperacquaintance，"saidhe;"why！IwasgoodfornothingtillIknewher;shehasmademesogood，mother;sosteady，soindustrious;youwillneverhavetofindfaultwithmeagain."
"Nonsense——awomanthatsellsfishinthestreets！"
"Butyouhavenotseenher.Sheisbeautiful，hermindisnotinfish;
hermindgraspsthebeautifulandthegood——sheisacompanionforprinces！WhatamIthatshewastesathoughtorarayofmusiconme？
Heavenblessher.Shereadsourbestauthors，andneverforgetsaword;
andshetellsmebeautifulstories——sometimestheymakemecry，forhervoiceisamusicthatgoesstraighttomyheart."
"Awomanthatdoesnotevenweartheclothesofalady."
"Itistheonlygenuinecostumeintheseislandsnotbeneathapainter’snotice."
"Lookatme，Charles;atyourmother."
"Yes，mother，"saidhe，nervously.
"Youmustpartwithher，orkillme."
Hestartedfromhisseatandbegantoflutterupanddowntheroom;poorexcitablecreature."Partwithher！"criedhe;"IshallneverbeapainterifIdo;whatistokeepmyheartwarmwhenthesunishid，whenthebirdsaresilent，whendifficultylooksamountainandsuccessamolehill？Whatisanartistwithoutlove？Howishetobearupagainsthisdisappointmentsfromwithin，hismortificationfromwithout？thegreatideashehasandcannotgrasp，andalltheformsofignorancethatstinghim，fromstupidinsensibilitydowntoclever，shallowcriticism？"
"Comebacktocommonsense，"saidtheoldlady，coldlyandgrimly.
Helookeduneasy.Commonsensehadoftenbeenquotedagainsthim，andcommonsensehadalwaysprovedright.
"Comebacktocommonsense.Sheshallnotbeyourmistress，andshecannotbearyourname;youmustpartsomeday，becauseyoucannotcometogether，andnowisthebesttime."
"Notbetogether？allourlives，allourlives，ay，"criedhe，risingintoenthusiasm，"hundredsofyearstocomewillwetwobetogetherbeforemen’seyes——Iwillbeanimmortalpainter，thattheworldandtimemaycherishthefeaturesIhaveloved.Iloveher，mother，"addedhe，withatearfultendernessthatoughttohavereachedawoman’sheart;
thenflushing，trembling，andinspired，heburstout，"AndIwishIwasasculptorandapoettoo，thatChristiemightliveinstoneandverse，aswellascolors，andallwholoveanartmightsay，’Thiswomancannotdie，CharlesGattylovedher.’"
Helookedinherface;hecouldnotbelieveanycreaturecouldbeinsensibletohislove，andpersisttorobhimofit.
Theoldwomanpaused，tolethiseloquenceevaporate.
Thepausechilledhim;thengentlyandslowly，butemphatically，shespoketohimthus：
"Whohaskeptyouonhersmallmeanseversinceyouweretenyearsandsevenmonthsold？"
"Youshouldknow，mother，dearmother."
"Answerme，Charles."
"Mymother."
"Whohaspinchedherself，ineveryearthlything，tomakeyouanimmortalpainter，and，aboveall，agentleman？"
"Mymother."
"Whoforgaveyouthelittlefaultsofyouth，beforeyoucouldaskpardon？"
"Mymother！Oh，mother，IaskpardonnowforallthetroubleIevergavethebest，thedearest，thetenderestofmothers."
"WhowillgohometoNewcastle，abroken—heartedwoman，withtheonehopegonethathaskeptherupinpovertyandsorrowsomanywearyyears，ifthisgoeson？"
"Nobody，Ihope."
"Yes，Charles;yourmother."
"Oh，mother;youhavebeenalwaysmybestfriend."
"Andamthisday."
"Donotbemyworstenemynow.Itisformetoobeyyou;butitisforyoutothinkwellbeforeyoudrivemetodespair."
Andthepoorwomanishheartleanedhisheadonthetable，andbegantosorrowoverhishardfate.
Mrs.Gattysoothedhim."Itneednotbedoneallinamoment.Itmustbedonekindly，butfirmly.Iwillgiveyouasmuchtimeasyoulike."
Thisbaittook;theweaklovetotemporize.
ItisdoubtfulwhetherhehonestlyintendedtopartwithChristieJohnstone;buttopacifyhismotherhepromisedtobeginandgraduallyuntietheknot.
"Mymotherwillgo，"whisperedhisdeceitfulheart，"and，whensheisaway，perhapsIshallfindoutthatinspiteofeveryeffortIcannotresignmytreasure."
Hegaveasortofhalf—promiseforthesakeofpeace.
Hismotherinstantlysenttotheinnforherboxes.
"Thereisaroominthissamehouse，"saidshe，"Iwilltakeit;Iwillnothurryyou，butuntilitisdone，Istayhere，ifitisatwelvemonthabout."
Heturnedpale.
"AndnowhearthegoodnewsIhavebroughtyoufromNewcastle."
Oh！theselittleironwills，howisagreatartisttofightthreehundredandsixty—fivedaysagainstsuchanantagonist？
Everydaysawarepetitionofthesedialogues，inwhichgeniusmadegallantburstsintotheair，andstrong，hardsensecaughthimonhisdescent，anddabbedglueonhisgauzywings.
Oldageandyouthseelifesodifferently.Toyouth，itisastory—book，inwhichwearetocommandtheincidents，andbethebrightexceptionstooneruleafteranother.
Toageitisanalmanac，inwhicheverythingwillhappenjustasithashappenedsomanytimes.
Toyouth，itisapaththroughasunnymeadow.
Toage，ahardturnpike：
Whosetravelersmustbeallsweatanddust，whentheyarenotinmudanddrenched：
Whichwantsmendinginmanyplaces，andismendedwithsharpstones.
GattywouldnotyieldtogodowntoNewhavenandtakeastepagainsthislove，butheyieldedsofarastoremainpassive，andseewhetherthiscreaturewasnecessarytohisexistenceornot.Mrs.G.scoutedtheidea.
"Hewastowork，andhewouldsoonforgether."Poorboy！hewantedtowork;hisdebtweighedonhim;aweek’sresolutelabormightfinishhisfirstpictureandsatisfyhiscreditor.Thesubjectwasaninterior.Hesettowork，hestucktowork，hegluedtowork，hisbody——buthisheart？
Ah，mypoorfellow，amuchslowerhorsethanGattywillgobyyou，riddenasyouarebyaleadenheart.
TunihilinvitafaciespingesveMinerva.
Itwouldnotloweramechanicaldog’sefforts，butitmustyours.
Hewasunhappy.Heheardonlyonesidefordays;thatsidewasrecommendedbyhisduty，filialaffection，anddiffidenceofhisowngoodsense.
Hewasbroughttoseehisproceedingswereeccentric，andthatitisdestructiontobeeccentric.
Hewasmadealittleashamedofwhathehadbeenproudof.
Hewasconfusedandperplexed;hehardlyknewwhattothinkordo;hecollapsed，andallhisspiritwasfastleavinghim，andthenhefeltinclinedtoleanonthefirstthinghecouldfind，andnothingcametohandbuthismother.
Meantime，ChristieJohnstonewasalsothinkingofhim，buthersingleanxietywastofindthiseightypoundsforhim.
ItisaNewhavenideathatthefemaleisthenaturalprotectorofthemale，andthisideawasstrengthenedinhercase.
Shedidnotfullycomprehendhischaracterandtemperament，butshesaw，byinstinct，thatshewastobetheprotector.Besides，asshewastwenty—one，andheonlytwenty—two，shefeltthedifferencebetweenherself，awoman，andhim，aboy，andtoleavehimtostruggleunaidedoutofhisdifficultiesseemedtoherheartless.
Twicesheopenedherlipstoengagethecharitable"vilecount"inhiscause，butshameclosedthemagain;thiswouldbeaskingapersonalfavor，andoneonsolargeascale.
Severaldayspassedthus;shehaddeterminednottovisithimwithoutgoodnews.
Shethenbegantobesurprised，sheheardnothingfromhim.
Andnowshefeltsomethingthatpreventedhercallingonhim.
ButJeanCarniewastobemarried，andthenextdaytheweddingpartyweretospendinfestivityupontheislandofInchCoombe.
ShebadeJeancallonhim，and，withoutmentioningher，invitehimtothisparty，fromwhich，hemustknow，shewouldnotbeabsent.
JeanCarnieenteredhisapartment，andatherentrancehismother，whotookforgrantedthiswashissweetheart，whisperedinhisearthatheshouldnowtakethefirststep，andlefthim.
WhatpassedbetweenJeanCarnieandCharlesGattyisforanotherchapter.
CHAPTERIX.
AYOUNGviscountwithincomeandpersoncannotlie_perdu_threemilesfromEdinburgh.
Firstonediscovershim，thenanother，thentwenty，thenalltheworld，asthewholecliqueismodestlycalled.
Before，however，LordIpsdenwascaught，hehadacquiredabrownertint，amoreelasticstep，andastouterheart.
TheAberfordprescriptionhaddonewondersforhim.
HecaughthimselfpassingonewholedaywithoutthinkingofLadyBarbaraSinclair.
ButevenAberfordhadmisledhim;therewerenoadventurestobefoundintheFirthofForth;mostofthedaystherewasnowindtospeakof;twiceitblewgreatguns，andthemenweresurprisedathislordshipgoingout，butnobodywasinanydangerexcepthimself;thefishermenhadallslippedintoportbeforematterswereserious.
Hefoundthemerchantmenthatcouldsailcreepingonwiththreereefsintheirmainsail;andtheDutchmenlyingtoandbreastingit，likeducksinapond，andwithnomorechanceofharm.
Ononeoftheseoccasionshedidobservealittlesteam—tug，goingaboutaknotanhour，androllinglikeawashing—tub.Herandowntoher，andaskedifhecouldassisther;sheanswered，throughthemediumofasootyanimalatherhelm，thatshewas（likeouruniversities）"satisfiedwithherownprogress";sheadded，beingunderintoxication，"that，ifanydangerexisted，herschemewastodrownitinthebo—o—owl;"andtwodaysafterwardhesawherpuffingandpanting，andfiercelydraggingagiganticthree—deckeroutintodeepwater，likeanindustriousfleapullinghisphaeton.
AndnowitismyofficetorelatehowMr.FluckerJohnstonecomportedhimselfononeoccasion.
AstheyachtworkedalongsideGrantonPier，beforerunningout，thesaidFluckercalmlyandscientificallydrewhislordship’sattentiontothreepoints：
Thedirectionofthewind——theforceofthewind——andhisopinion，asapersonexperiencedintheFirth，thatitwasgoingtobeworseinsteadofbetter;inreply，hereceivedanordertostepforwardtohisplaceinthecutter——theimmediatevicinityofthejib—boom.Onthis，Mr.Fluckerinstantlyburstintotears.
Hislordship，or，asFluckercalledhimeversincetheyachtcamedown，"theskipper，"deemingthatthehigherappellation，inquired，withsomesurprise，whatwasthematterwiththeboy.
Oneofthecrew，who，bytheby，squinted，suggested，"Itwasaslightillustrationofthepassionoffear."
Fluckerconfirmedthetheorybygulpingout："We’llneverseeNewhavenagain."
Onthistheskippersmiled，andorderedhimashore，somewhatperemptorily.
Straightwayhebegantohowl，and，saying，"Itwasbettertobedrownedthanbethelaughing—stockoftheplace，"wentforwardtohisplace;onhissafereturntoport，thisyounggentlemanwasverysevereonopenboats，which，hesaid"bredwomanishnotionsinheartsnaturallydauntless.Givemealidtothepot，"addedhe，"andI’llsailwithOldNick，letthewindblowhighorlow."
TheAberfordwaswrongwhenhecalledloveacutaneousdisorder.
Therearecutaneousdisordersthattakethatname，buttheyarenomorelovethanverseispoetry;
Thanpatriotismisloveofcountry;
Thantheologyisreligion;
Thanscienceisphilosophy;
Thanpaintingsarepictures;
Thanrecitingontheboardsisacting;
ThanphysicismedicineThanbreadisbread，orgoldgold——inshops.
Loveisastateofbeing;thebelovedobjectisourcenter;andourthoughts，affections，schemesandselvesmovebutroundit.
Wemaydivergehitherorthither，butthegoldenthreadstillholdsus.
Isfairordarkbeautythefairest？Theworldcannotdecide;butloveshalldecideinamoment.
Ahalosurroundsherwelove，andmakesbeautifultoushermovements，herlooks，hervirtues，herfaults，hernonsense，heraffectationandherself;andthat’slove，doctor！
LordIpsdenwascapableoflovinglikethis;but，todoLadyBarbarajustice，shehaddonemuchtofreezethegermofnoblepassion;shehadnotkilled，butshehadbenumbedit.
"Saunders，"saidLordIpsden，onemorningafterbreakfast，"haveyouenteredeverythinginyourdiary？"
"Yes，mylord."
"Allthesegoodpeople’smisfortunes？"
"Yes，mylord."
"Doyouthinkyouhavespelledtheirnamesright？"
"Whereitwasimpossible，mylord，IsubstitutedanEnglishappellation，hidenticalinmeaning."
"HaveyouenteredanddescribedmyfirstinterviewwithChristieJohnstone，andsomebodysomething？"
"Mostminutely，mylord."
"HowIturnedMr.Burkeintopoetry——howshelistenedwithhereyesallglistening——howtheymademetalk——howshedroppedatear，he！he！he！atthedeathofthefirstbaron——howshockedshewasatthekingstrikinghimwhenhewasdying，tomakeaknight—banneretofthepooroldfellow？"
"Yourlordshipwillfindalltheparticularsexactlyrelated，"saidSaunders，withdrypomp.
"Howshefoundoutthattitlesarebutbreath——howIanswered——somenonsense？"
"Yourlordshipwillfindallthetopicsincluded."
"Howshetookmeforamadman？Andyouforaprig？"
"Thelattercircumstanceeludedmymemory，mylord."
"ButwhenItoldherImustrelieveonlyonepoorpersonbyday，shetookmyhand."
"Yourlordshipwillfindalltheitemsrealizedinthisbook，mylord."
"Whatabeautifulbook！"
"Albaareconsiderablyameliorated，mylord."
"Alba？"
"Pluralofalbum，mylord，"explainedtherefinedfactotum，"moredelicate，Iconceive，thanthevulgarreading."
ViscountIpsdenreadfrom"MR.SAUNDERS’SALBUM.
"Toillustratetheineleganceoftheinferiorclasses，twojuvenilevendersofthepiscatorytribewerethisdayusheredin，andinstantaneously，withouttheaccustomedpreliminaries，plungedintoafamiliarconversationwithLordViscountIpsden.
"Theirvulgarity，shockingandrepulsivetomyself，appearedtoaffordhislordshipasatisfactiongreaterthanhederivesfromthegracefulamenitiesoffashionableassociation——"
~"Saunders，Isuspectyouofsomething."
"Me，mylord！"
"Yes.Writinginanannual."
"Ido，mylord，"saidhe，withbenignant_hauteur._"Itappearseverymonth——_ThePolytechnic."_
"Ithoughtso！youarepolysyllabic，Saunders;_enroute！"_
~"InthishallucinationIfinditdifficulttoparticipate;associatedfrominfancywiththearistocracy，Ishrink，likethesensitiveplant，fromcontactwithanythingvulgar."
~"Isee！Ibegintounderstandyou，Saunders.Orderthedog—cart，andWordsworth’smareforleader;we’llgiveheratrial.Youareanass，Saunders."
"Yes，mylord;IwillorderRoberttotellJamestocomeforyourlordship’scommandsaboutyourlordship’svehicles.（Whatcouldheintendbyarecentobservationofadiscourteouscharacter？）"
Hislordshipsoliloquized.
"Ineverobserveditbefore，butSaundersisanass！LaJohnstoneisoneofNature’sduchesses，andshehasmademeknowsomepoorpeoplethatwillbericherthantherichoneday;andshehastaughtmethathoneyistobegotfrombank—notes——bymerelygivingthemaway."
AmongtheobjectsofcharityLordIpsdendiscoveredwasoneThomasHarvey，amakerandplayeroftheviolin.Thismanwasapersonofgreatintellect;hemasteredeverysubjectheattacked.Byacarefulexaminationofallthepointsthatvariousfine—tonedinstrumentshadincommon，hehadarrivedatatheoryofsound;hemadeviolinstocorrespond，andwasremarkablysuccessfulininsuringthatwhichhadbeentoohastilyascribedtoaccident——afinetone.
Thisman，whowasinneedycircumstances，demonstratedtohislordshipthattenpoundswouldmakehisfortune;becausewithtenpoundshecouldsetupashop，insteadofworkingoutoftheworld’ssightinaroom.
LordIpsdengavehimtenpounds！
Aweekafter，hemetHarvey，moreraggedanddirtythanbefore.
Harveyhadbeenrobbedbyafriendwhomhehadassisted.PoorHarvey！
LordIpsdengavehimtenpoundsmore！
Nextweek，Saunders，enteringHarvey’shouse，foundhiminbedatnoon，becausehehadnoclothestowear.
Saunderssuggestedthatitwouldbebettertogivehiswifethenextmoney，withstrictorderstoapplyitusefully.
Thiswasdone！
Thenextday，Harvey，findinghisclothesuponachair，histoolsredeemedfrompawn，andabeefsteakreadyforhisdinner，accusedhiswifeofhavingmoney，andmeanlyrefusinghimthebenefitofit.Sheacknowledgedshehadalittle，andappealedtotheimprovedstateofthingsasaproofthatsheknewbetterthanhetheuseofmoney.Hedemandedthesaidmoney.Sherefused——heleatheredher——sheputhiminprison.
Thiswasthebestplaceforhim.Themanwasadrunkard，andalltherichesofEgyptwouldneverhavemadehimbetteroff.
Andhere，gentlemenofthelowerclasses，awordwithyou.Howcanyou，withyoursmallincomes，hopetobewelloff，ifyouaremoreextravagantthanthosewhohavelargeones？
"Usextravagant？"youreply.
Yes！yourincomeistenshillingsaweek;outofthatyouspendthreeshillingsindrink;ay！you，thesoberones.Youcan’taffordit，myboys.Findmeamanwhoseincomeisathousandayear;well，ifheimitatesyou，andspendsthreehundreduponsensuality，Ibetyoutheoddsevenhundredhedoesnotmakebothendsmeet;theproportionistoogreat.And_two—thirdsofthedistressofthelowerordersisowingtothis——thattheyaremoremadlyprodigalthantherich;intheworst，lowestandmostdangerousitemofallhumanprodigality！_
LordIpsdenwenttoseeMrs.Harvey;itcosthimmuchtogo;shelivedintheOldTown，andhehateddisagreeablesmells;healsoknewfromSaundersthatshehadtwoblackeyes，andhehatedwomenwithblackeyesofthatsort.Butthisgoodcreaturedidgo;didrelieveMrs.Harvey;
and，bare—headed，sufferedhimselftobebedewedtenminutesbyhertearfultwaddle.
ForonceVirtuewasrewarded.ReturningovertheNorthBridge，hemetsomebodywhombutforhischarityhewouldnothavemet.
Hecameinonebrightmomentplumpupon——LadyBarbaraSinclair.Sheflushed，hetrembled，andintwominuteshehadforgotteneveryhumaneventthathadpassedsincehewasbyherside.
Sheseemedpleasedtoseehim，too;sheignoredentirelyhisobnoxiousproposal;hewiselytookhercue，andso，onthissecretunderstanding，theywerefriends.Hemadehisarrangements，anddinedwithherfamily.
Itwasafamilyparty.IntheeveningLadyBarbaraallowedittotranspirethatshehadmadeinquiriesabouthim.
（Hewashighlyflattered.）Andshehaddiscoveredhewaslyinghidsomewhereintheneighborhood.
"Studyingtheguitar？"inquiredshe.
"No，"saidhe，"studyinganewclassofthecommunity.Doyouknowanyofwhattheycallthe’lowerclasses’？"
"Yes."
"Monstrousagreeablepeople，aretheynot？"
"No，verystupid！Ionlyknowtwooldwomen——excepttheservants，whohavenocharacters.Theyimitateus，Isuspect，whichdoesnotsaymuchfortheirtaste."
"Butsomeofmyfriendsareyoungwomen;thatmakesallthedifference."
"Itdoes！andyououghttobeashamed.Ifyouwantaloworderofmind，whydesertourowncircle？"
"Myfriendsareonlylowinstation;theyhaveratherloftyminds，someofthem."
"Well，amuseyourselfwiththeseloftyminds.Amusementistheendofbeing，youknow，andtheaimofallthemenofthisday."
"Weimitatetheladies，"saidhe，slyly.
"Youdo，"answeredshe，verydryly;andsothedialoguewenton，andLordIpsdenfoundthepleasureofbeingwithhiscousincompensatehimfullyforthedifferenceoftheiropinions;infact，hefounditsimplyamusingthatsokeenawitashiscousinsscouldbeentrappedintothehumorofdecryingthetimeonehappenstolivein，andadmiringanyepochoneknowsnexttonothingabout，andentrappedbythenotionofitsoriginality，aboveallthings;theideabeingthestalecommonplaceofassesineveryage，andthemannerofconveyingtheideabeingamereimitationoftheGermanwriters，notthegoodones，_bienentendu，_butthequill—drivers，thesnobsoftheTeutonicpen.
Buthewastolearnthatfolliesarenotalwayslaughable，that_eademsentire_isabond，andthat，whenacleverandprettywomanchoosestobeafool，herlover，ifheiswise，willbeagreater——ifhecan.
Thenexttimetheymet，LordIpsdenfoundLadyBarbaraoccupiedwithagentlemanwhosefirstsentenceproclaimedhimapupilofMr.ThomasCarlyle，andhehadthemortificationtofindthatshehadneitheranearnoraneyeforhim.
Humanopinionhassomanyshadesthatitisraretofindtwopeopleagree.
Buttwopeoplemayagreewonderfully，iftheywillbutletathirdthinkforthemboth.
Thusitwasthatthesetworansosmoothlyincouples.
Antiquity，theyagreed，wasthetimewhentheworldwasold，itshairgray，itsheadwise.Everyonethatsaid，"Lord，Lord！"twohundredyearsagowasaChristian.Therewerenoearnestmennow;Williams，themissionary，wholivedanddiedfortheGospel，wasnotearnestinreligion;butCromwell，whopackedajury，andsomurderedhisprisoner——Cromwell，inwhosemouthwasheaven，andinhishearttemporalsovereignty——wasthepatternofearnestreligion，or，atallevents，secondinsinceritytoMahometalone，intheabsenceofdetailsrespectingSatan，ofwhomweknowonlythathismouthisaScriptureconcordance，andhishandsthehandsofMr.Carlyle’ssaints.
Thentheywentbackacenturyortwo，andwereeloquentaboutthegreatantiqueheart，andthebeautyofanagewhosesampleswereAbbotSampsonandJoanofArc.
LordIpsdenhatedargument;butjealousyisabrassspur，itmadeeventhismanfluentforonce.
Hesuggested"thatfivehundredyearsaddedtoaworld’slifemadeitjustfivehundredyearsolder，notyounger——andifolder，grayer——andifgrayer，wiser.
"OfAbbotSampson，"saidhe，"whomIconfessbothagreatandagoodman，hisauthor，whowithallhistalentbelongstotheclassmuddle—head，tellsusthatwhenhehadbeentwoyearsinauthorityhisredhairhadturnedgray，fightingagainstthespiritofhisage;howthedeuce，then，couldhebeasampleofthespiritofhisage？
"JoanofArcwasburnedbyacclamationofherage，andisadmiredbyourage.Whichfactidentifiesanagemostwithaheroine，togiveheryourheart，ortogiveherablazingfagotanddeath？"
"AbbotSampsonandJoanofArc，"concludedhe，"provenomoreinfavoroftheirage，andnolessagainstit，thanLotdoesfororagainstSodom.
LotwasinSodom，butnotofit;andsowereSampsonandJoanin，butnotof，thevillainoustimestheylivedin.
"Theverybesttext—bookoftruereligionistheNewTestament，andI
gatherfromit，thatthemanwhoforgiveshisenemieswhiletheiraxdescendsonhishead，howeverpooracreaturehemaybeinotherrespects，isabetterChristianthanthemanwhohastheGodofMercyforeveronhislips，andwhosehandsareswifttoshedblood.
"Theearnestmenofformeragesarenotextinctinthis，"addedhe.
"Wheneverascaffoldiserectedoutsideaprison—door，ifyouareearnestinpursuitoftruth，andcanputupwithdisgustingobjects，youshallseearelicofancientmannershanged.
"Therestillexist，inpartsofAmerica，riversonwhosebanksareearnestmenwhoshalltakeyourscalp，thewife’sofyourbosom，andtheinnocentchild’sofherbosom.
"InEnglandweareasearnestaseverinpursuitofheaven，andofinnocentworldlyadvantages.If，whentheconsiderationoflifeanddeathinterposes，weappearlessearnestinpursuitofcomparativetriflessuchaskingdomsordogmas，itisbecausecoolerinactionwearemoreearnestinthought——becausereason，experience，andconsciencearethingsthatchecktheunscrupulousnessorbeastlyearnestnessofman.
"Moreover，hewhohasthesensetoseethatquestionshavethreesidesisnolongersointellectuallyaswellasmorallydegradedastobeabletocuteverythroatthatuttersanopinioncontrarytohisown.
"Ifthephrase’earnestman’meansmanimitatingthebeaststhataredeaftoreason，itistobehopedthatcivilizationandChristianitywillreallyextinguishthewholeraceforthebenefitoftheearth."
LordIpsdensucceededinannoyingthefairtheorist，butnotinconvincingher.
Themediaevalenthusiastslookedonhimassomeroughanimalthathadburstintosacredgroundsunconsciously，andgraduallyedgedawayfromhim.
CHAPTERX.
LORDIPSDENhadsoonthemortificationofdiscoveringthatthisMr.————
wasaconstantvisitoratthehouse;and，althoughhiscousingavehimherearinthisman’sabsence，onthearrivalofherfellow—enthusiasthehadeverthemortificationoffindinghimself_detrop._
Onceortwicehedemolishedthispersonageinargument，andwasrewardedbyfindinghimselfmore_detrop._
ButonedayLadyBarbara，beinginacousinlyhumor，expressedawishtosailinhislordship’syacht，andthishintsoonledtoapartybeingorganized，andasortofpicnicontheislandofInchCoombe;hislordship’scutterbeingthemodeofconveyancetoandfromthatspot.
NowithappenedonthatverydayJeanCarnie’smarriagewascelebratedonthatveryislandbyherrelationsandfriends.
SothatweshallintroduceourreaderstoTHERIVALPICNICS.
Webeginwith_Lesgenscommeilfaut._
PICNICNO.1.
Theservantswereemployedinputtingawaydishesintohampers.
Therewasacalmsilence."Hem！"observedSirHenryTalbot.
"Eh？"repliedtheHonorableTomHitherington.
"Mamma，"saidMissVere，"haveyoubroughtanywork？"
"No，mydear."
"Atapicnic，"saidMr.Hitherington，isn’titthethingforsomebody——aw——todosomething？"
"Ipsden，"saidLadyBarbara，"thereisanunderstanding_between_youandMr.Hitherington.IcondemnyoutoturnhimintoEnglish."
"Yes，LadyBarbara;I’lltellyou，hemeans———doyoumeananything，Tom？"
_Hitherington._"Can’tanybodyguesswhatImean？"
_LadyBarbara._"Guessfirstyourself，youcan’tbesuspectedofbeinginthesecret."
_Hither._"WhatImeanis，thatpeoplesingasong，orrunraces，orpreachasermon，ordosomethingfunnyatapicnic——aw——somebodygetsupanddoessomething."
_LadyBar._"ThenperhapsMissVere，whosesingingisfamous，willhavethecomplaisancetosingtous."
_MissVere._"Ishouldbehappy，LadyBarbara，butIhavenotbroughtmymusic."
_LadyBar._"Oh，wearenotcritical;thesimplestair，orevenafragmentofmelody;theseaandtheskywillbeabetteraccompanimentthanBroadwoodevermade."
_MissV._"Ican’tsinganotewithoutbook."
_SirH.Talbot._"Yourmusicisinyoursoul——notatyourfingers’ends."
_LordIpsden，toLadyBar._"Itisinherbook，andnotinhersoul."
_LadyBar.，toLordIps._"Thenithaschosenthebettersituationofthetwo."
_Ips._"MissVereistothefineartofmusicwhattheengrossersaretotheblackartoflaw;itallfiltersthroughthemwithoutleavinganysediment;andsothemusicofthedaypassesthroughMissVere’smind，butnoneremains——tostainitsvirginsnow."
Hebows，shesmiles.
_LadyBar.，toherself._"Insolent.Andthelittleduncethinksheiscomplimentingher."
_Ips._"PerhapsTalbotwillcometoourrescue——heisafiddler."
_Tal._"Anamateuroftheviolin."
_Ips._"Itisallthesamething."
_LadyBar._"Iwishitmayproveso."
[Note：originalhasmusicnotationhere]
_MissV._"Beautiful."
_Mrs.Vere._"Charming."
_Hither._"Superb！"
_Ips._"Youareawarethatgoodmusicisathingtobeweddedtoimmortalverse，shallIreciteabitofpoetrytomatchTalbot’sstrain？"
_MissV._"Oh，yes！hownice."
_Ips.（rhetorically）._"A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.I.J.K.L.M.N.O.P.
Q.R.S.T.U.V.W.X.Y.Z.Y.X.W.V.U.T.S.O.N.M.L.K.J.I.
H.G.F.A.M.littlep.littlet."
_LadyBar._"Beautiful！Superb！Ipsdenhasbeentakinglessonsonthethinkinginstrument."
_Hither._"Hehasbeen_perdu_amongvulgarpeople."
_Tal._"AndexpectsapupilofHerztoplayhimtunes！"
_LadyBar._"Whataretunes，SirHenry？"
_Tal._"SomethingIdon’tplay，LadyBarbara."
_LadyBar._"Iunderstandyou;somethingweoughttolike."
_Ips._"IhaveaStradivariusviolinathome.Itisyours，Talbot，ifyoucandefineatune."
_Tal._"Atuneis——everybodyknowswhat."
_LadyBar._"Atuneisatune，thatiswhatyoumeanttosay."
_Tal._"Ofcourseitis."
_LadyBar._"Bereasonable，Ipsden;nomancandotwothingsatonce;howcanthepupilofHerzcondemnathingandknowwhatitmeanscontemporaneously？"
_Ips._"Isthedrinking—songin’DerFreischutz’atune？"
_LadyBar._"Itis."
_Ips._"AndthemelodiesofHandel，aretheytunes？"
_LadyBar.（pathetically）._"Theyare！Theyare！"
_Ips._"Andthe’RussianAnthem，’andthe’Marseillaise，’and’Ah，Perdona’？"
_Tal._"And’YankeeDoodle’？"
_LadyBar._"SothatSirHenry，whopridedhimselfonhisignorance，hasawidefieldforitsdominion.
_Tal._"Allgoodviolinplayersdolikeme;theyprelude，notplaytunes."
_Ips._"ThenHeavenbethankedforourblindfiddlers.Youlikesyllablesofsoundinunmeaningrotation，andyoudespiseitswords，itspurposes，itsnarrativefeats;carryoutyourprinciple，itwillshowyouwhereyouare.Buyadirtypaletteforapicture，anddreamthealphabetisapoem."
_LadyBar.，toherself._"IsthismycousinRichard？"
_Hither._"Mind，Ipsden，youareamanofproperty，andtherearesuchthingsascommissions_delunatico."_
_LadyBar._"Hisdefensewillbethathisfriendspronouncedhiminsane.
_Ips._"No;IshallsubpoenaTalbot’sfiddle，cross—examinationwillgetnothingoutofthatbut，do，re，mi，fa."
_LadyBar._"Yes，itwill;fa，mi，re，do."
_Tal._"Violin，ifyouplease."
_LadyBar._"AskFiddle’spardon，directly."
_Soundoffiddlesisheardinthedistance._
_Tal._"Howluckyforyou，therearefiddlesandtunes，andthenativesyouaresaidtofavor，whynotjointhem？"
_Ips.（shakinghisheadsolemnly）._"Idreadtoencounteranotherprelude."
_Hither._"Come，Iknowyouwouldlikeit;itisawedding—party——twoseamonstershavebeenunited.Thesailorsandfishermenareallblueclothandwash—leathergloves."
_MissV._"He！he！"
_Tal._"Thefishwivesunitethecolorsoftherainbow——"
_LadyBar._"（Andweallknowhowhideoustheyare）——tovulgar，bloomingcheeks，staringwhiteteeth，andsky—blueeyes."
_Mrs.V._"Howsatiricalyouare，especiallyyou，LadyBarbara."
HereLordIpsden，afterawordtoLadyBarbara，theanswertowhichdidnotappeartobefavorable，rose，gavealittleyawn，lookedsteadilyathiscompanionswithoutseeingthem，anddepartedwithoutseemingawarethathewasleavinganybodybehindhim.