第18章

Heavenknowswhatdayitis，butIamashamed，allthemoreasyourletterfromBournemouthofallplaces-pooroldBournemouth！-istohand，andcontainsastatementofpleasureinmyletterswhichIwishIcouldhaverewardedwithalongone。Whathasgoneon？Avastofaffairs，ofamingled，strenuous，inconclusive，desultorycharacter；muchwasteoftime，muchridingtoandfro，andlittletransactedoratleastperacted。

Letmegiveyouareviewofthepresentstateofourlivestock-Sixboysinthebush；sixsoulsaboutthehouse。

Talolo，thecook，returnsagainto-day，afteranabsencewhichhascostmeabouttwelvehoursofriding，andIsupposeeighthours’solemnsittingincouncil。’IamsorryindeedfortheChiefJusticeofSamoa，’Isaid；’itismorethanI

amfitfortobeChiefJusticeofVailima。’-Lauiloissteward。Boththeseareexcellentservants；wegavealuncheonpartywhenweburiedtheSamoanbones，andIassureyouallwasingoodstyle，yetweneverinterfered。Thefoodwasgood，thewineanddisheswentroundasbymechanism-

Steward’sassistantandwashmanArrick，aNewHebrideeblackboy，hiredfromtheGermanfirm；notsouglyasmost，butnotprettyneither；notsodullashissortare，butnotquiteaCrichton。Whenhecamefirst，heatesomuchofourgoodfoodthathegotaprominentbelly。Kitchenassistant，Tomas(ThomasinEnglish)，aFijiman，verytallandhandsome，movinglikeamarionettewithsuddenbounds，androllinghiseyeswithsuddeneffort-Washerwomanandprecentor，Helen，Tomas’swife。Thisisourweakpoint；weareashamedofHelen；thecook-houseblushesforher；theymurmurthereatherpresence。Sheseemsallright；sheisnotabad-looking，strappingwench，seemschaste，isindustrious，hasanexcellenttasteinhymns-youshouldhaveheardherreadonealoudtheotherday，shemarkedtherhythmwithsomuchgloating，dissentersentiment。Whatiswrong，then？saysyou。Lowinyourear-anddon’tletthepapersgetholdofit-sheisofnofamily。None，theysay；literallyacommonwoman。Ofcourse，wehaveout-islanders，whoMAYbevilleins；butwegivethemthebenefitofthedoubt，whichisimpossiblewithHelenofVailima；ourblot，ourpittedspeck。

ThepittedspeckIhavesaidisourprecentor。ItisalwaysawomanwhostartsSamoansong；themenwhosingseconddonotenterforabarortwo。Poor，dearFaauma，theunchaste，theextrudedEveofourParadise，knewonlytwohymns；butHelenseemstoknowthewholerepertory，andthemorningprayersgofarmorelivelyinconsequence-Lafaele，provostofthecattle。ThecattleareJack，myhorse，quiteconverted，mywiferideshimnow，andheisassteadyasadoctor’scob；TifagaJack，acircushorse，mymother’spiebald，boughtfromapassingcircus；Belle’smare，nowinchildbedornextdoor，confoundtheslut！Musu-amusinglytranslatedtheotherday’don’twantto，’literallycross，butalwaysinthesenseofstubbornnessandresistance-mywife’slittledark-brownmare，withawhitestaronherforehead，whomIhavebeenridingoflatetosteadyher-shehasnovices，butisunused，skittishanduneasy，andwantsalotofattentionandhumouring；lastly(ofsaddlehorses)

Luna-nottheLatinMOON，theHawaiianOVERSEER，butit’spronouncedthesame-aprettylittlemaretoo，butscarceatallbroken，abadbucker，andhastoberiddenwithastock-

whipandbebroughtbackwithherrumpcriss-crossedlikeaclantartan；thetwocarthorses，nowonlyusedwithpack-

saddles；twocows，oneinthestraw(Itrust)to-morrow，athirdcow，theJersey-whosemilkandtemperarealikesubjectsofadmiration-shegivesgoodexercisetothefarmingsaunterer，andrefresheshimonhisreturnwithcream；twocalves，abull，andacow；Godknowshowmanyducksandchickens，andforawagernotevenGodknowshowmanycats；twelvehorses，sevenhorses，fivekine:isnotthisBabylontheGreatwhichIhavebuilded？CallitSUBPRIORSFORD。

Twonightsagotheclubhaditsfirstmeeting；onlytwelvewerepresent，butitwentverywell。Iwasnotthere，Ihadriddendownthenightbeforeafterdinneronmyendlessbusiness，tookacupofteaintheMissionlikeanass，thentookacupofcoffeelikeafoolatHaggard’s，thenfellintoadiscussionwiththeAmericanConsul……IwenttobedatHaggard’s，camesuddenlybroadawake，andlaysleeplessthelivenight。Itfellchill，Ihadonlyasheet，andhadtomakealightandrangethehouseforacover-Ifoundoneinthehall，amacintosh。Sobacktomysleeplessbed，andtolietheretilldawn。InthemorningIhadalongishridetotakeinadayofablinding，staggeringsun，andgothomebyeleven，ourluncheonhour，withmyheadratherswimmy；theonlytimeIhaveFEAREDthesunsinceIwasinSamoa。

However，Igotnoharm，butdidnotgototheclub，layoff，lazied，playedthepipe，andread-anovelbyJamesPayn-

sometimesquiteinteresting，andinoneplacereallyveryfunnywiththequainthumouroftheman。Muchinterestedtheotherday。AsIrodepastahouse，IsawwhereaSamoanhadwrittenawordonaboard，andtherewasanA，perfectlyformed，butupsidedown。YouneversawsuchathinginEurope；butitisascommonasdirtinPolynesia。Men’snamesaretattooedontheforearm；itiscommontofindasubvertedlettertattooedthere。Hereisatemptingproblemforpsychologists。

IamnowontermsagainwiththeGermanConsulate，Iknownotforhowlong；not，ofcourse，withthePresident，whichI

findarelief；still，withtheChiefJusticeandtheEnglishConsul。ForHaggard，Ihaveagenuineaffection；heisaloveableman。

Wearyfulman！’HereistheyarnofLoudonDodd，NOTASHE

TOLDIT，BUTASITWASAFTERWARDSWRITTEN。’Thesewordswereleftoutbysomecarelessness，andIthinkIhavebeenthricetackledaboutthem。Gravetheminyourmindandwearthemonyourforehead。

TheLangstorywillhaveverylittleaboutthetreasure；THE

MASTERwillappear；anditistoagreatextentataleofPrinceCharlieAFTERthe’45，andalovestoryforbye:theheroisamelancholyexile，andmarriesayoungwomanwhointereststheprince，andthereisthedeviltopay。IthinktheMasterkillshiminaduel，butdon’tknowyet，nothavingyetseenmysecondheroine。No-theMasterdoesn’tkillhim，theyfight，heiswounded，andtheMasterplaysDEUSEXMACHINA。ITHINKjustnowofcallingitTHETAILOF

THERACE；no-heavens！Ineversawtillthismoment-butofcoursenobodybutmyselfwouldeverunderstandMill-Race，theywouldthinkofaquarter-mile。So-Iamnamelessagain。MymelancholyyoungmanistobequiteaRomeo。Yes，I’llnamethebookfromhim:DYCEOFYTHAN-pronounceEethan。

DyceofYthanbyR。L。S。

O，Shovel-Shovelwaitshisturn，heandhisancestors。I

wouldhavetackledhimbefore，butmySTATETRIALShavenevercome。SothatIhavenowquiteplanned:-

DyceofYthan。(Historical，1750。)

SophiaScarlet。(To-day。)

TheShovelsofNewtonFrench。(Historical，1650to1830。)

Andquiteplannedandpartwritten:-

ThePearlFisher。(To-day。)(WithLloydamachine。)

DavidBalfour。(Historical，1751。)

And，byastrangeexceptionforR。L。S。，allinthethirdpersonexceptD。B。

Idon’tknowwhatdaythisisnow(the29th)，butIhavefinishedmytwochapters，ninthandtenth，ofSAMOAintimeforthemail，andfeelalmostatpeace。Thetenthwasthehurricane，adifficultproblem；itsotemptedonetobeliterary；andIfeelsurethelessofthatthereisinmylittlehandbook，themorechanceithasofsomeutility。

Thentheeventsarecomplicated，sevenshipstotellof，andsometimesthreeofthemtogether；O，itwasquiteajob。ButIthinkIhavemyfactsprettycorrect，andforonce，inmysickeningyarn，theyarehandsomefacts:creditabletoallconcerned；nottobewrittenof-andIshouldthink，scarcetoberead-withoutathrill。IdoubtIhavegotnohurricaneintoit，theintricaciesoftheyarnabsorbingmetoomuch。Butthere-it’sdonesomehow，andtimepresseshardonmyheels。Thebook，withmybestexpedition，maycomejusttoolatetobeofuse。InwhichcaseIshallhavemadeahandsomepresentofsomemonthsofmylifefornothingandtonobody。Well，throughHerthemostancientheavensarefreshandstrong。

AfterIhadwrittenyou，Ire-readmyhurricane，whichisverypoor；thelifeofthejournalistishard，anothercoupleofwritingsandIcouldmakeagoodthing，Ibelieve，anditmustgoasitis！But，ofcourse，thisbookisnotwrittenforhonourandglory，andthefewwhowillreaditmaynotknowthedifference。Verylittletime。Igodownwiththemailshortly，dineattheChineserestaurant，andgototheclubtodancewithislandresses。Thinkofmygoingoutonceaweektodance。

Politicsareonthefulljobagain，andwedon’tknowwhatistocomenext。IthinkthewholetreatyRAJseemsquiteplayedout！TheyhavetakentobribingtheFAIPULEmen(parliamentmen)tostayinMulinuu，wehear；butIhavenotyetsiftedtherumour。ImustsayIshallbescarcesurprisedifitprovetrue；theserumourshavetheknackofbeingright-Ourweatherthislastmonthhasbeentremendouslyhot，notbythethermometer，whichsticksat86

degrees，buttothesensation:norain，nowind，andthisthestormmonth。Itlooksominous，andiscertainlydisagreeable。

Notimetofinish，Yoursever，

MYDEARCOLVIN，-AsIrodedownlastnightaboutsix，IsawasightImusttrytotellyouof。Infrontofme，rightoverthetopoftheforestintowhichIwasdescendingwasavastcloud。Thefrontofitaccuratelyrepresentedthesomewhatrugged，long-nosed，andbeetle-browedprofileofaman，crownedbyahugeKalmuckcap；thefleshpartwasofaheavenlypink，thecap，themoustache，theeyebrowswereofabluishgray；toseethiswithitschildishexactitudeofdesignandcolour，andhugenessofscale-itcoveredatleast25degrees-heldmespellbound。AsIcontinuedtogaze，theexpressionbegantochange；hehadtheexactairofclosingoneeye，droppinghisjaw，anddrawingdownhisnose；

hadthethingnotbeensoimposing，Icouldhavesmiled；andthenalmostinamoment，ashoulderofleaden-colouredbankdroveinfrontandblottedit。Myattentionspreadtotherestofthecloud，anditwasathingtoworship。Itrosefromthehorizon，anditstopwaswithinthirtydegreesofthezenith；thelowerpartswerelikeaglacierinshadow，varyingfromdarkindigotoacloudedwhiteinexquisitegradations。Theskybehind，sofarasIcouldsee，wasallofabluealreadyenrichedanddarkenedbythenight，forthehillhadwhatlingeredofthesunset。ButthetopofmyTitaniccloudflamedinbroadsunlight，withthemostexcellentsoftnessandbrightnessoffireandjewels，enlighteningalltheworld。ItmusthavebeenfarhigherthanMountEverest，anditsglory，asIgazedupatitoutofthenight，wasbeyondwonder。Closebyrodethelittlecrescentmoon；andrightoveritswesternhorn，agreatplanetofaboutequallustrewithitself。Thedarkwoodsbelowwereshrillwiththatnoisybusinessofthebirds’

eveningworship。WhenIreturned，aftereight，themoonwasneardown；sheseemedlittlebrighterthanbefore，butnowthatthecloudnolongerplayeditspartofanocturnalsun，wecouldseethatsight，sorarewithusathomethatitwascountedaportent，socustomaryinthetropics，ofthedarkspherewithitslittlegiltbanduponthebelly。Theplanethadbeensettingfaster，andwasnowbelowthecrescent。

Theywerestillofanequalbrightness。

Icouldnotresisttryingtoreproducethisinwords，asaspecimenoftheseincrediblybeautifulandimposingmeteorsofthetropicskythatmakesomuchofmypleasurehere；