第17章
tablealight，thatwasall——sometimesoneorotherwouldflareupintoatall，lean，astonishedflameforaspace。Andqueerthingshappened。
’Ican’t，’hesaid；’Ishallnever——！’Andsuddenlyhesatdownonalittlechairatthefootofthebedandbegantosobandsob。
Lord！whataharrowing，whimperingthingheseemed！
“’Youpullyourselftogether，’Isaid，andtriedtopathimontheback，and……myconfoundedhandwentthroughhim！Bythattime，youknow，Iwasn’tnearlyso——massiveasIhadbeenonthelanding。
Igotthequeernessofitfull。Iremembersnatchingbackmyhandoutofhim，asitwere，withalittlethrill，andwalkingovertothedressing-table。’Youpullyourselftogether，’Isaidtohim，’andtry。’AndinordertoencourageandhelphimIbegantotryaswell。“
“What！“saidSanderson，“thepasses？“
“Yes，thepasses。“
“But——“Isaid，movedbyanideathateludedmeforaspace。
“Thisisinteresting，“saidSanderson，withhisfingerinhispipe-
bowl。“Youmeantosaythisghostofyoursgaveaway——“
“Didhislevelbesttogiveawaythewholeconfoundedbarrier？YES。“
“Hedidn’t，“saidWish；“hecouldn’t。Oryou’dhavegonetheretoo。“
“That’spreciselyit，“Isaid，findingmyelusiveideaputintowordsforme。
“ThatISpreciselyit，“saidClayton，withthoughtfuleyesuponthefire。
Forjustalittlewhiletherewassilence。
“Andatlasthedidit？“saidSanderson。
“Atlasthedidit。Ihadtokeephimuptoithard，buthediditatlast——rathersuddenly。Hedespaired，wehadascene，andthenhegotupabruptlyandaskedmetogothroughthewholeperformance，slowly，sothathemightsee。’Ibelieve，’hesaid，’ifIcouldSEE
Ishouldspotwhatwaswrongatonce。’Andhedid。’_I_know，’
hesaid。’Whatdoyouknow？’saidI。’_I_know，’herepeated。
Thenhesaid，peevishly，’ICAN’Tdoitifyoulookatme——IreallyCAN’T；it’sbeenthat，partly，allalong。I’msuchanervousfellowthatyouputmeout。’Well，wehadabitofanargument。NaturallyIwantedtosee；buthewasasobstinateasamule，andsuddenlyIhadcomeoverastiredasadog——hetiredmeout。’Allright，’
Isaid，’_I_won’tlookatyou，’andturnedtowardsthemirror，onthewardrobe，bythebed。
Hestartedoffveryfast。Itriedtofollowhimbylookinginthelooking-glass，toseejustwhatitwashadhung。Roundwenthisarmsandhishands，so，andso，andso，andthenwitharushcametothelastgestureofall——youstanderectandopenoutyourarms——andso，don’tyouknow，hestood。Andthenhedidn’t！Hedidn’t！
Hewasn’t！Iwheeledroundfromthelooking-glasstohim。TherewasnothinglIwasalone，withtheflaringcandlesandastaggeringmind。
Whathadhappened？Hadanythinghappened？HadIbeendreaming？……
Andthen，withanabsurdnoteoffinalityaboutit，theclockuponthelandingdiscoveredthemomentwasripeforstrikingONE。So！——Ping！
AndIwasasgraveandsoberasajudge，withallmychampagneandwhiskygoneintothevastserene。Feelingqueer，youknow——confoundedlyQUEER！Queer！GoodLord！“
Heregardedhiscigar-ashforamoment。“That’sallthathappened，“hesaid。
“Andthenyouwenttobed？“askedEvans。
“Whatelsewastheretodo？“
IlookedWishintheeye。Wewantedtoscoff，andtherewassomething，somethingperhapsinClayton’svoiceandmanner，thathamperedourdesire。
“Andaboutthesepasses？“saidSanderson。
“IbelieveIcoulddothemnow。“
“Oh！“saidSanderson，andproducedapenknifeandsethimselftogrubthedotteloutofthebowlofhisclay。
“Whydon’tyoudothemnow？“saidSanderson，shuttinghispen-knifewithaclick。
“That’swhatI’mgoingtodo，“saidClayton。
“Theywon’twork，“saidEvans。
“Iftheydo——“Isuggested。
“Youknow，I’dratheryoudidn’t，“saidWish，stretchingouthislegs。
“Why？“askedEvans。
“I’dratherhedidn’t，“saidWish。
“Buthehasn’tgot’emright，“saidSanderson，pluggingtoomuchtobaccoinhispipe。
“Allthesame，I’dratherhedidn’t，“saidWish。
WearguedwithWish。HesaidthatforClaytontogothroughthosegestureswaslikemockingaseriousmatter。“Butyoudon’tbelieve——？“
Isaid。WishglancedatClayton，whowasstaringintothefire，weighingsomethinginhismind。“Ido——morethanhalf，anyhow，Ido，“saidWish。
“Clayton，“saidI，“you’retoogoodaliarforus。Mostofitwasallright。Butthatdisappearance……happenedtobeconvincing。
Tellus，it’sataleofcockandbull。“
Hestoodupwithoutheedingme，tookthemiddleofthehearthrug，andfacedme。Foramomentheregardedhisfeetthoughtfully，andthenforalltherestofthetimehiseyeswereontheoppositewall，withanintentexpression。Heraisedhistwohandsslowlytothelevelofhiseyesandsobegan……
Now，SandersonisaFreemason，amemberofthelodgeoftheFourKings，whichdevotesitselfsoablytothestudyandelucidationofallthemysteriesofMasonrypastandpresent，andamongthestudentsofthislodgeSandersonisbynomeanstheleast。HefollowedClayton’smotionswithasingularinterestinhisreddisheye。“That’snotbad，“hesaid，whenitwasdone。“Youreallydo，youknow，putthingstogether，Clayton，inamostamazingfashion。Butthere’sonelittledetailout。“
“Iknow，“saidClayton。“IbelieveIcouldtellyouwhich。“
“Well？“
“This，“saidClayton，anddidaqueerlittletwistandwrithingandthrustofthehands。
“Yes。“
“That，youknow，waswhatHEcouldn’tgetright，“saidClayton。
“ButhowdoYOU——？“
“Mostofthisbusiness，andparticularlyhowyouinventedit，Idon’tunderstandatall，“saidSanderson，“butjustthatphase——Ido。“
Hereflected。“Thesehappentobeaseriesofgestures——connectedwithacertainbranchofesotericMasonry。Probablyyouknow。
Orelse——HOW？“Hereflectedstillfurther。“IdonotseeIcandoanyharmintellingyoujustthepropertwist。Afterall，ifyouknow，youknow；ifyoudon’t，youdon’t。“
“Iknownothing，“saidClayton，“exceptwhatthepoordevilletoutlastnight。“
“Well，anyhow，“saidSanderson，andplacedhischurchwardenverycarefullyupontheshelfoverthefireplace。Thenveryrapidlyhegesticulatedwithhishands。
“So？“saidClayton，repeating。
“So，“saidSanderson，andtookhispipeinhandagain。
“Ah，NOW，“saidClayton，“Icandothewholething——right。“
Hestoodupbeforethewaningfireandsmiledatusall。ButIthinktherewasjustalittlehesitationinhissmile。“IfIbegin——“
hesaid。
“Iwouldn’tbegin，“saidWish。
“It’sallright！“saidEvans。“Matterisindestructible。Youdon’tthinkanyjiggery-pokeryofthissortisgoingtosnatchClaytonintotheworldofshades。Notit！Youmaytry，Clayton，sofarasI’mconcerned，untilyourarmsdropoffatthewrists。“
“Idon’tbelievethat，“saidWish，andstoodupandputhisarmonClayton’sshoulder。“You’vemademehalfbelieveinthatstorysomehow，andIdon’twanttoseethethingdone！“
“Goodness！“saidI，“here’sWishfrightened！“
“Iam，“saidWish，withrealoradmirablyfeignedintensity。“I
believethatifhegoesthroughthesemotionsrighthe’llGO。“
“He’llnotdoanythingofthesort，“Icried。“There’sonlyonewayoutofthisworldformen，andClaytonisthirtyyearsfromthat。